Lies within Ourselves
Warning: This story involves gay scenes and some harsh language if you are offended by this or it is illegal to read where you live please leave now. Otherwise enjoy!
This is a work of pure fiction. No one in this story is a real person, living or deceased.
If you want to write me, please do so at: m.bennet35@gmail.com
Also visit my website at http://www.leebennet.com/collection/writing-short-stories/
"Are you ok?" Amber asked looking at her best friend since the third grade. Matt sat there looking at the ground with tears in his eyes and replied, "I just felt like being alone."
"Matt! I know there is something wrong we have been best friends for a long time now and I can tell that something is bothering you." Amber insisted. "Amber... can we please just drop it I don't feel like talking about it right now!" Matt said as he was starting to get annoyed.
"Fine but you know I am here when you are ready to talk." Amber said placing her hand on Matt's shoulder. Looking up at Amber his eyes got soft and he replied "I know" with a smile on his face.
After school Matt felt drained from all the emotions that were running through his mind. The last three weeks had been very confusing for him and he didn't know if he could face telling anyone about them. He laid there on his bed trying to just relax and forget everything that was bothering him. After about 35 minutes his phone began to ring and he sighed as he looked and saw who it was.
"Hey Sean, what's up?" Matt said as he answered the phone.
"What's wrong Matty? You sound really down today." Sean asked.
"Nothing it's just been a long week." Matt replied.
"Ahh... Ok. Yeah I know what you mean. So anyways I was calling to see if you wanted to hang out tonight. My parents said you could come stay here for a couple of days since it is winter break." Sean said.
Matt looked up at the ceiling and didn't know if it was a good idea. He had been in such a bad mood lately that he didn't want to take anything out on Sean.
"Umm... I would really have to see what my mom says. I don't know if we are doing anything this week or not." Matt said with little emotion.
Sean was starting to feel very disappointed he was really hoping Matt would be able to come over for break. "Well could you ask her and then call me back and let me know?" Sean said with an almost pleading voice.
"Ok. Give me like 15 minutes to talk to my mom and I will call you back." Matt answered back.
"Cool talk to you in a bit. Bye Matty." Sean said as he hung up. Matt knew just exactly what his mom would say. She would of course let him go over for a few days because she absolutely loved Sean and his family. They use to be all neighbors before Sean's parents bought a house on the other side of town.
"Hey, Sweetie. How was your day I didn't see much of you after school. Is everything ok?" Matt's mom said as she saw him entering the Kitchen. "Yeah, mom, everything is ok." Matt Replied. "Sean wanted to know if I could go over to his house for a few days."
"Of course! That would be fine. I actually was just about to tell you that I will need to leave town to see your Aunt." His mom said with a smile.
"Is everything ok?" Matt asked with a concerned look on his face.
"Oh Yes dear! You know your Aunt and if I don't go and see her soon she will begin to get angry." His mom said with a small laugh.
"Oh ok. Well I am glad everything is alright. I guess I am going to get ready right now and leave in about an hour if that is ok?" Matt asked.
"That is fine. I will be leaving in the morning and will be back on Wednesday morning." His mom said. "I will be taking my cell phone of course and you know your Aunt's number in case you need to reach me."
"Well I guess then I will just stay until you get back then." Matt told her and then went off to get ready for the next week. Matt got his phone out and called back to tell Sean that he was allowed and that he would be there in an hour.
Sean was really excited to hear this and went to tell his parents that he Matt wanted to stay till Wednesday. Sean and Matt met in the 8th grade and instantly became best buds. Lately Sean noticed that Matt was acting strange toward him and wasn't sure why. He was afraid maybe he did something that made Matt angry but could not thing of anything in particular. This week Sean hoped that he would find out what was bothering his friend.
"Matty!" Sean said excitedly as he ran up to his friend and gave him a big hug.
"It's nice to see you too." Matt tried to say and he was being crushed by Sean's hug.
"Sorry." Sean said with an embarrassed look on his face.
"It's ok, buddy." Matt said with a grin on his face.
"I'm glad your hear Matty. It's been awhile since we got the chance to hang out" Sean said.
Matt looked away with sorrowful look. "Yeah. I know." Matt sighed.
"Matt? Are you ok?" Sean asked worried about his friend.
"Don't worry about me buddy. Like I said it's been a long week." Matt said has he playfully gave Sean a shove.
In truth Matt was not okay at all. It had been a long time since Sean and him got to hang out and there was a reason for that. Three weeks ago Sean and him went to a party they were invited to by the School's star quarterback, Evan Daniels. Sean started to drink a lot at the party and Matt stayed sober so that he could drive both of them home safely. About half way into the party Matt lost track of Sean and went searching for him after a couple of minutes Matt found Sean half passed out in one of the downstairs bathrooms. Matt laughed and began to pick Sean up and said, "Sean what am I going to do with you. You always do this at parties."
Matt gently laid Sean in the backseat of his car and right before he got out to get in the driver's seat Sean grabbed him and whispered "Matty, you are my best friend. We have been through a lot. I wish I could just tell you the truth."
"Sean? What are you talking about? You're drunk. Just lie down and rest. I will take you home." Matt told him.
"Oh Matty, Matty why can't you see how much I care" Sean whispered back.
"I care about you too buddy." Matt relied back.
Sean let out a small giggle. "Oh Matty sometimes you are so clueless. I love you Matty. I have been in love with you for the longest time but I doubt you feel the same way." Sean said with a sadness in his eyes.
Matt was shocked and just sat there for the longest time thinking of what to do. Of course he suspected that his friend was gay and that didn't bother him at all but he had no idea that Sean was in love with him. Sean had been his best friend for years and he had never really given any thought about that. After Matt took Sean home he went for a long drive to just think about everything.
Ever since that night he had been avoiding Sean. He still wanted to be friends but he felt awkward now and wasn't sure what to do. Sean obviously did not remember what he confessed and now here they were spending most of winter break together.
Breaking the awkward silence between them Sean asked, "So... what do you want to do?"
"Let's put my stuff in your room and then maybe we can go out for something to eat I am starving. I didn't really feel like eating when it was dinner time." Matt said as he picked up his bag and headed for the house.
"Where would you like to go Matty?" Sean asked with some enthusiasm because he too was hungry.
"Hmm... Let's get something through the drive thru doesn't really matter where at. Then we can go for a drive and find a nice field to park in and eat then look at the stars." Matt suggested.
"That sounds perfect." Sean said with a big smile.
After they were done eating, Matt and Sean sat on the hood of the car and Sean yawned and laid back on the car.
"What a beautiful night. This was such a great idea!" Sean said.
"That it is." Matt said with contentment. After a few minutes Matt also laid back on the car. At that moment Sean put his head on Matts shoulders and closed his eyes. First Matt was kind of nervous but then he thought why should I act any different around Sean. He has been my best friend for years and we have always done this. Matt put his arm around Sean and sighed with the first moment of relaxation he had in the past three weeks.
"Sean I have really missed hanging out with you. I am sorry that I didn't have much time lately I have just been distracted." Matt said with an apologetic voice.
"Oh.. Matty you don't have to be sorry. I am just glad we get to hang out now. This week is going to be so much fun." Sean said with happiness in his voice.
Once they got back from their star gazing they headed to Sean's room to get on the computer and play some games before bed. That night Matt could not stop thinking about his friend. He cared so much for Sean and he didn't want anything to ruin their friendship. He needed someone to talk to and confide in so he got his phone out and texted Amber.
"Thanks for meeting me here so late Amber." Matt said.
"I told you I am always here for you! Now what is going on that is so important that you make me sneak out at 2am?" Amber said teasing him.
"Something happened a few weeks ago. I have not been able to stop thinking about." Matt started to explain. "Amber I need to tell you something that you cannot tell anyone."
"Your secret is safe with me." Amber said with all honestly.
"Well that is part of it. It is not my secret. It's about Sean." Matt said trying to think if this was a good idea or not.
"Oh. You mean that he is gay?" Amber replied.
"Did you tell you he was?" Matt asked with shock in his eyes.
"I've known for a long time Matt." Amber Said with surprise.
"Why didn't he tell me?" Matt said a little hurt that his friend didn't trust him.
"Matt. First it wasn't that he didn't want to. Sean was just afraid of how you would react. None of us really know how you feel about gay people." Amber told him.
"Never really thought about it but I don't really care and that is not the whole thing I wanted to tell you." Matt said. "At Evan's party a couple weeks back, Sean got really drunk and well he kind of told me that he loved me." Matt said nervously. "Well... that certainly explains a lot." Amber said with amusement.
"What does that mean?" Matt said with confusion.
"Matt you and Sean are practically joined at the hip. Sean always wants to hang out with you and he is always so excited to see you. The question is do you feel the same about Sean or is this going to ruin your friendship at all?" Amber asked.
"I don't want this to ruin are friendship. I care a lot about Sean I really do." Matt started to say.
"Matt are you gay?" Amber said questioning her friend. "I mean you have never dated any girl and I never hear you talk about any girl that you think is hot. It is ok if you are. We are friends and nothing will change that." Amber said with sincere certainty.
Matt began to have tears in his eyes "Oh, Amber. I think I might be gay. Ever since that night I couldn't think and I started to remember feelings that I have had toward other guys but I can't think of what to do with Sean. I don't want to ruin are friendship and what if we try to date and it doesn't work out." Matt said with a lump in his throat.
Amber rushed to her friend and hugged him. "It's ok Matt. It will be all ok. You will figure it out and Sean is a good friend he won't let stuff ruin your friendship. Just be honest with him and yourself." She said with compassion.
"I am so blessed to have such great friends in my life." Matt said.
Matt and Amber talked for an hour before Amber said she had to go before her parents find out she left. Matt gave her a big hug and thanked her for being there for him. Matt tried as quite as he could to get back into Sean's room without waking him.
"Matty? Where did you. I woke up and you were gone. Is everything ok?" Sean whispered half awake.
"Hey sleepy head there is nothing to worry about. Just go back to sleep and we will talk tomorrow, ok?" Matt assured Sean who quickly fell back into a deep sleep.
That morning Matt awoke to an empty room. Last night had been so emotional and now he had to tell his best friend the truth. He wouldn't tell him what he said at the party when he was drunk but he would come out to his friend and hope that his friend would trust him enough to come out to him. All the secrets were beginning to get annoying and hassle some. While lying there for a few minutes Matt go the energy to get up and get dressed for the day.
As Matt entered the kitchen he could smell something wonderful being cooked. "Hey buddy! That smells amazing what are you making." Matt asked Sean who was standing by the stove.
"You know just the usual. Bacon, eggs and some cinnamon toast." Sean said smiling while dancing around the kitchen making Matt laugh.
"Don't tease." Sean said with a humorous pout.
"You know I am just kidding. After breakfast do you want to take a drive I have some stuff I want to talk to you about." Matt said turning toward Sean with a serious tone.
"Now I am kind of scared. Is it bad?" Sean asked with a nervous look.
"No not at all. I just need to tell you some things." Matt said with calmness and with softness in his eyes making Sean relax a bit.
They headed out as soon as they were done eating and started toward the park. The car ride was somewhat quiet as Matt tried to start the conversation.
"Sean we have been friends for a long time and you are my best bud." Matt started to say with an anxious voice.
After a short pause Matt continued as Sean had a confused and worried look on his face. "The last few weeks have been so emotional for me and I have had some much going on in my head. You mean a lot to me and I want to be completely honest with you."
Sean pulled over to the side of the road and focused all his attention to Matt. "You know you can tell me anything. Our friendship is unbreakable." Sean told Matt with kindness in his eyes.
"Last night I went out and called Amber and she came and we talked about some things. I finally admitted the truth to not only her but myself." Matt said turning toward Sean. "Here goes. I'm gay!"
Sean sat there for a few minutes trying to think. This brought a hope to him that he never had thought would be possible. He had had a crush on Matt for years but never said anything because he didn't want to ruin the friendship plus he did not think that Matt was gay.
"Matty, thank you so much for sharing this with me, I guess I have something to tell you too. I was just afraid to tell you because I didn't want to lose you as a friend. You mean the world to me. I am gay too and I have known for a long time." Sean finally admitted to Matt.
Matt pulled Sean in for a hug and they just stayed that way for the longest time. Forgetting everything in the world until Sean's phone started to buzz.