Liberty

LIBERTY SEVEN

By Doug Gage

I must put this message here, if for no other reason than to

satisfy mine own conscience. The experiences I am relating

happened in 1954. I was an 18 year old farmer who had just

finished six months active service with the National Guard at

Fort Leonardwood and 14 weeks of Navy Boot Camp at Great

Lakes. I was in Electronic School at Treasure Island

(Frisco), AIDs was unheard of and safe sex meant "don't get

caught with another man and, unless you like to fight, don't

let anyone know you are a homosexual."

I've been extremely lucky to have never gotten as much as the

clap. Today I practice 1992 type safe sex, on those rare

occasions when a fat old man can get any, and urge you do the

same.

I thought I was in love. No, I knew I was in love. Only two other people had ever thrilled me like Jack did. So I called him on Monday to make a date for the next weekend.

He said he'd be glad to spend some time with me but his very special man was in town. His lover had been on a business trip and would be very unhappy if he found out Jack was fucking some navy queen while he was gone. "So please don't call me again."

I tried not to feel bad, after all I'd had a lot of one night stands and expected to have more, but that was one of the nights I cried myself to sleep. The next weekend I went into town with one of the students who had a car and we took a weekend trip to Sacramento to spend the weekend with his family.

It promised to be a fun trip and the first chance in several months that I was able to get out of uniform. In 1954 we were supposed to wear our uniforms at all times. It wasn't until sometime in '55 or '56 that they let us start keeping civvies on the base -- some of the guys kept lockers on the beach and would change into civvies, but you could say bye-bye to liberty for a while if you got caught, so most of us followed the rules.

I was still hurting over the abrupt brushoff I got from Jack, I've since learned to go with the flow and am seldom bothered by the lack of a return engagement. However, I am not without feelings.

In 1988 I spent a great day with a guy I met via a BBS. We did some fucking in the morning, some swimming in the afternoon and a lot of fucking that night. Two days later I left him a message on the BBS and he said he couldn't remember ever meeting me. That hurt.

Back to my story. We got to Sacramento just about time for supper and Ed's mom had fixed one fabulous meal. I mean we had juicy roast beast -- pink and bleeding, but hot and tender -- peas, baked potato, fresh garden salad and a huge slice of homemade lemon meringue pie.

After supper we played canasta and drank beer. Then at midnight we went to bed. They didn't have a guest room so I had to sleep with Ed. There was only one bed in the room and I was hot and excited just to think I could spend two nights in the same bed with him. My imagination was working overtime, even thought I knew it was only a sleeping arrangement created by necessity.

I've not met very many men who I would call Adonis -- most of my experiences have been with fairly average and some below average body types. I find them all very sexy as long as they're clean and don't smell like they haven't bothered to shower recently.

Well Ed was all that Adonis was supposed to be. He was six feet tall with perfectly proportioned legs and torso. He worked out almost everyday and ran three to four miles every morning. His blonde hair was almost white and his skin was so smooth that when it was wet it glistened like brushed silk.

Although he worked out and ran regularly he didn't have a body builder's or runner's muscle structure. His muscles were supple and flowed when he moved like a dancer's or swimmer's. I especially loved to watch him play basketball. Every move he made was erotic.

He had grey eyes that when you looked into them you could almost feel a physical caress. He treated everyone around him as if they were the most important person he had ever met. But, when those grey eyes locked with yours, it made you feel like you were the only person in the room.

Next to his white skin his pink lips were shiny crimson frames to pearly white teeth that couldn't avoid presenting an amorous summons to sensual encounter. They begged to be kissed and many were the times, even in the crowded day room, when I was tempted to take him in my arms and do just that.

Clean? at the base he showered every morning, at noon and every night. His health habits were the brunt of a lot of jokes in the barracks, but his build was the envy of every guy on the base.

I never saw him completely nude at the base. He always had on a pair of sweats or swim trunks except when he was in the shower and for some reason I was never there when he took his showers.

We had become good friends, probably because we were in a competition for number one in class. Each week we seemed to trade places as number one and number two.

The top ten at graduation would get to chose from all available billets, all the rest would be assigned by random drawing. The list of billets had one ship out of Pearl and both of us wanted it.

At first it was a real unfriendly competition, then the instructor suggested we study together to make it harder for one to excel over the other and gradually we became good friends.

Anyway, he was really a beautiful man. Not just physically but in everyway. He was the kind of person everyone wants to be like. When he walks into a room everyone notices him and likes him. His presence wasn't threatening and somehow you knew down in your gut that if he wanted you to jump off a bridge for him you would find a rational reason to do it.

He was physically beautiful and one hell of a nice guy.

He had first dibs on the shower, after all it was his home, and I sat on the big double bed waiting for him to finish. He undressed behind the closed door of the bathroom, so I didn't even have the pleasure of watching him remove his clothes.

I was very pleasantly surprised when, after he finished the shower, he opened the door wrapped in a towel and said, "Why don't you get your shower while I dry off and brush my teeth."

Like I said, just the idea of being in the same bed with Ed had me hot. So as I undressed to get into the shower I tried to be very careful not to expose my very erect cock. When I got in the shower I turned up the cold water hoping to avoid any embarrassment for me and for Ed.

As I stood under the cold shower I could see Ed through a crack in the shower curtain. He was standing with his back to me bending over the sink brushing his teeth, the towel had been discarded.

His round ass was even whiter than the rest of his skin. Each buttock was a firm round orb soliciting amorous caress. And as he bent over a pink ring surrounded the slightly darker pucker of his asshole making my mouth water with faint hope.

His balls were visible between his legs hanging down in a symmetrical very light brown sack each testicle clearly defined and about the size of a small egg. Not massive, but definitely a handful and if a man could get real lucky a mouthful.

The soft white fur that was almost visible on his legs also covered his balls and climbed up into the crevice between his cheeks. The cold shower wasn't doing a thing for me. I was sweating in the cold spray.

After brushing and rinsing out his mouth he turned around and I was blessed with a full front view of his naked body.

The area normally covered by his swim shorts was a stark contrast to his pink stomach and legs. His pecs where perfect and tipped with the pink soft nipples that looked like they had never been properly sucked.

But my eyes were riveted to his groin. A small forest of white hair started at his navel and spread downward to totally surround his cock. The rest of his body, except for the fuzz on his legs and arms, was a satiny smooth without a hint of hair.

The shaft of his cock was so white that even flaccid every vein was a visible blue line. He had been circumcised and the head of his cock was a pink heart at the end of a three inch shaft and nestled between his balls.

The only disappointment I had was that his cock wasn't even a little hard when he said, "I hope you don't mind, I'm used to sleeping nude when at home. I'll put on some shorts if you're worried."

No way, I thought, don't you dare cover up even an inch of that lovely body. What I said was, "As long as you stay on your own side of the bed." Damn you for a fool, I thought now why did you say that? So I quickly added, "I kind of like to sleep nude also, do you mind?"

He laughed, "Not as long as you stay on your own side of the bed." Me and my big mouth.

After he left the bathroom I turned off the shower and started to dry off. I couldn't get rid of my hardon so instead of taking the chance he would see it, I masturbated and dropped a huge load of cum down the sink. Seemed a shame to waste a good hardon when that lovely body was going to be only inches away.

When I left the bathroom Ed was already in bed. He was lying on his side watching me walk across the room. I about shit when he said, "You've got a good body, Doug. You ought to take better care of it."

I got into bed quickly, just the thought of taking care of his body was beginning to show again between my legs. After I was safely covered with a sheet, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you don't exercise and if you keep eating the way you did tonight you're going to wind up a fat old man." He was right, what can I say. What I said was, "Well I've always worked hard and expect that will keep me looking good."

"Well," he said as he turned out the light, "When the girls stop flocking around, don't say I didn't warn you."

He was lying on his side with his back to me, his legs slightly curled and his buttocks within inches of my hand. I was lying on my back. Very slowly I moved my hand toward him hoping he wouldn't get upset if I touched him.

I stopped myself when my hand was almost touching him -- I could feel the heat of his body on my arm and although I had just shot a load in the bathroom, the thought of that body lying there next to me had my cock standing at attention.

I rolled over on my side with my back to him trying to forget that he was there so I could go to sleep. He was my friend, he was an Adonis, he was inches away totally nude, but he was unavailable. I laid there slowly stroking my cock wishing it was his.

Then he shifted the position of his body and his buttocks pushed back into mine. Take about heat, lust and what do I do now!!??

I thought I should move, I sure didn't want to. His hot ass cheeks were like fire on mine and it grew into a furnace of lust in my gut and balls. It seemed like hours, but was probably only seconds when I whispered, "Ed, you're going to push me out of bed if you don't move back."

He didn't speak and didn't move. I reached around and laid my hand on his thigh. He grunted and moved, but instead of away from me his body pushed closer and now we were touching all the way up to my shoulders. He upper body was about 3 inches longer than mine. Since we were both just a little sway backed there was a gap of hot air space above our asses.

When he moved I let my hand slip so it was brushing the front of his thigh and the tips of my fingers could feel the curl of hair at his groin and the furnace of heat coming from his crotch.

I was thinking, Ed is hot -- I wonder what he would do if I touched his cock. I was lying there wanting to find out and afraid to move, my breathe was becoming labored as the lust was slowly rising to cloud any hope of rational thought.

Gritting my teeth I took a deep breath and slowly slide my hand down his thigh until my fingers were touching the heated shaft of his cock. To my surprise it was as stiff as mine. I let my fingers trace the tube running up his cock and gently tickled the glans of its swollen head.

Ed shifted moving away from me with his hips so my hand slide back up his leg. I moved my arm forward and again begin to caress my, now remarkably swollen, cock. Although we were no longer touching I could still feel the heat of his body close to mine.

I wanted to roll over and make love to him, but I knew it would be the end of our friendship and possibly the end of my Navy career.

Very carefully I got out of bed and once more relieved myself into the sink. I wasn't sure if I could spend two nights with Ed and not reveal to him how much I wanted to make love to him. He'd been a good friend, but would he understand?

When I got back to the bed Ed was rolled over on his other side, almost on his stomach with one leg completely across my side of the bed.

Two thoughts went through my head at the same time, Damn he would be right on top of me now if I'd stayed in bed and good thing I moved I could never have kept my hands at home if he'd rolled over on me.

I took his foot and shook him awake. He was really sleeping and when he finally woke he looked up at me with blurry eyes, rolled back to his side of the bed taking the sheet with him. Except instead of being covered with the sheet he had it trapped between his legs and was lying on top of it. Great, I thought, now I've got this beautiful body lying there without even a sheet over it and I'm afraid to touch it.

The double J/O in less than an hour did cool down my lust and I was finally able to go to sleep. I usually sleep on top of my sheets anyway, so I pulled on a pair of jockey shorts in case anyone came in and was able to fall asleep.

I woke up the next morning just as Ed was getting ready to stand up. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me so I laid quietly as if still asleep and through half open eyes admired the curvature of his back, the large but smooth swimmers muscles that culminated in two round buttocks.

I imagined my tongue running down his back and wondered how he would taste. When he stood up he had to turn sideways to me in order to get into the bathroom and he was sporting a large morning erection, that stuck straight out in front of him.

His cock wasn't massive, but it was pretty. About 7 inches from groin to tip. The shaft was straight as a pool cue and just over an inch in diameter. The skin was stretched so tight it looked like it was about to rupture with every vein sticking out like a row of mountain ranges.

The head was a dark pink heart that bulged out to almost two inches at the end of the shaft and tapered up to a rounded tip. When he got to the bathroom he closed the door and shortly I heard his piss stream splashing into the bowl.

Lord, I thought, how could you bring me such a great friend with such a fantastic body, give me this unheard of opportunity to make love to him and expect me to refrain from approaching him. If I could just hold him and feel his cock pressed against any part of my body I would be in heaven -- how about it Lord.

I heard the water running as he cleaned up and when he came out of the bathroom he reached over and shook my shoulder. It was all I could do to keep from reaching up and pulling him down into my arms, but my morning breath and good sense worked together to avoid it.

"Time to get up," he said and then started to pull on his sweats. "While you get ready, I'm going to go for a run. See you at breakfast."

I took a quick shower and pulled on a pair of tight levi's and a loose cotton sweater and a pair of cowboy boots. When I got to the kitchen Ed was sitting at the table dressed in loose jeans and a t-shirt. I said, "I thought you were going to go for a run."

He replied, "Not me, I ran at 5 this morning."

I said, "At five this morning you were hogging all the covers and sound asleep."

Then he gave me that big laugh that always makes me want to laugh with him, even when I don't know what's funny, and says, "I'm not Ed, I'm his brother Jim, we're identical twins."

I said, "Come on, don't pull my leg, your eyes, your mouth, the shape of your body, even the way you laugh -- You must be Ed. You're kidding me right?"

Ed came in the kitchen door from outside, with rivers of sweat running down between his breasts the crotch of his sweats soaking wet. He said, "I'm to tired to pull anything right now."

With that his mother, his father, his brother and he broke into laughter. After a stunned second I joined them.

Breakfast was great and afterwards Ed went up to take a shower and get dressed. After the dishes were washed and put away I found myself alone in the kitchen with Jim.

I asked him if he was in the Navy. He laughed and said, "No that's Ed's passion. I work for a caterer. He winked at me and said, "If I was around that many men all the time, I'd either go nuts or get tossed out like last weeks garbage."

Ed came in just as Jim delivered the last line and said, "Jim likes to be controversial -- just ignore him."

"Ed can't quite bring himself to accept me for what I am. He still thinks I could stop being homosexual if I tried hard enough. I tell him if he tried it he'd like it, but....."

Ed was red as a beet. I didn't know if it was because he was mad or because he was embarrassed. "I told you," he said to me, "Jim has to be controversial.", then he turned to Jim, "Damn it I don't care if you prefer men over women, you're my brother and I love you -- but do you have to shout it to the world! Doug didn't need to know."

Now Jim was getting red in the face, "Hey guys", I said, "Truce. I don't care who either one of you fuck" -- wishing it was me -- "as long as we remain friends. Ed don't put me between you and your brother. I like you and I'm sure I'll like Jim."

I almost, but only almost, said, "Besides I'm also homosexual."

Both of them started to calm down and Jim said, "Thanks Doug." Ed looked at him and said, "See why I like him." I thought, somehow I have to get Jim into that bed with me.

Then I asked, "Just out of curiosity, how identical are you. If you were both nude, could anyone tell the difference?" Jim answered, "When we dress alike Mom is the only person who has ever been able to tell us apart. Even nude I think I could fool Ed's girl friend."

Then he winked at Ed and said, "I know my boy friends can't tell us apart -- one of them got a black eye when he tried to cuddle with Ed in the shower after we'd all been swimming."

"He did more than cuddle", Ed was red again and it wasn't because he was embarrassed, he sounded mad. "What would you do Doug is someone came up to you and started probing you in the shower with his hot cock?"

I thought, Bend over. I said, "Don't know, nobody ever probed me in my shower."

My flippant reply ended the discussion and pretty soon we were laughing again and telling jokes. I was watching Ed and Jim, determined to learn to tell them apart. I wanted to tell Jim that I was also gay, but I didn't want Ed to find out. I know now it wouldn't have changed our friendship at the time I wasn't sure.

Ed and I are still friends 38 years later and although we never became lovers he's known about my sexual orientation for over all of those years. When I was 29 he tried to talk me out of getting married, but I thought (I was wrong) I could live happily as a heterosexual.

Ed decided he wanted to go bowling, but first he wanted to take a shower. That left me in kitchen alone with Jim. I figured it was now or never so, "Jim, you mentioned boy friends. Is there someone special, do you have a special man or do you still..... you know."

"I have several men I date, so I guess you would say I'm still .. you know. Any special reason why you want to know."

"I was just wondering -- no reason -- oh hell, who am I trying to kid -- you know why I asked. I am..... I mean..... "

Jim was grinning like a pig that just found a hole in the corn field fence. "I thought so," he said, "the way you were watching Ed. Your reaction to me when I let you know I liked men. Your words weren't saying it but your body language and eyes were telling me."

Then in a very serious tone, "Don't pursue it with Ed, Doug. Ed is as straight as they come. He accepts me and all of my friends, but, would curl up and die before he'd have sex with a man. He really thinks highly of you, so don't kill a friendship."

"I know he is straight. It wasn't easy, but knowing that is what kept me on my side of the bed last night."

He grinned again, "Kind of rough with that hot body inches away with a hardon -- it's why I quit sleeping with him when I was 14. He's my brother and I was having a hard time keeping my hands and cock on my own side of the bed."

"I don't know if I can control myself for another night."

"You will, I can help you make sure of that. It takes an earthquake to wake Ed, so after he goes to sleep come on down to my room -- it's at the other end of the hall. I don't have my own bath like Ed, but you'll have already showered."

Jim got up and walked over to my chair and leaned down and kissed me. His lips were all that I had imagined Ed's would be and the heat from the kiss spread made my face flush and washed in waves down my body to culminate in my pulsating cock.

After a lingering kiss he said, "Tonight, I've got to get to work now, got a wedding reception to cater."

I was drinking a third glass of cold water when Ed finally came downstairs.

"I hope Jim didn't upset you. He really is queer as hell, but what the fuck he's my brother and I love him. He didn't make a pass at you did he? I don't really know what got into him. He usually only acts that way when he thinks the guy will go to bed with him. He didn't make a pass at you did he?"

"Sort of", I answered not wanting to lie and not wanting to tell the truth, "but mostly he wanted to be sure I knew you were straight so that knowing he is homosexual wouldn't hurt our friendship. You got a real fine brother -- but why not he's almost an exact copy of you."

"I still think if he would just go to bed with a girl, he'd change." It took Ed several years to discover that homosexuality was a given and not a choice. It was years later when Jim told him and he finally listened, "We still think that if you'd just let Doug make love to you you'd change."

Ed knew it wasn't true and finally realized it wasn't true of us either. It's what he tried to tell me when I got married.

Anyway, on with my story. After we went bowling, we played some pool, went horse back riding and ended up at the local swimming pool. We also played some volleyball and went over to Ed's girlfriend's house for supper. Ed and Shirley had planned a meal for four and a night at the movies. Sylvia was my date.

After the movie we took Sylvia and Shirley home and got back to Ed's house around midnight. We were both pretty tired and after a quick shower went to bed.

Knowing that Jim was waiting for me made it much easier for me to keep my hands off Ed, but by the time he was sleeping soundly enough for me to get up, I was once more in heat.

I borrowed one of Ed's robes and walked down the hall to Jim's room. I taped lightly on the door and heard Jim whisper, "Unlocked, come on in."

Jim had only one small light on in the room and it acted almost like a spot light illuminating his nude white body. He was sitting on the bed leaning back on the head board, his hands were behind his head, his legs were spread, his cock was standing straight up in the air and his balls were hanging down just enough to cover the crevasse of his ass.

I dropped the robe on my way to the bed and was soon wrapped in his arms as his legs encircled my waist and our rigid cocks came together like a couple of bloated swords.

Once more I felt the hot body flushing heat of his lips and this time electric chills washed up and down my body as his tongue probed my mouth examining my teeth and gums.

Our kisses were hot and short as he would quickly break away and lick my chin, or suck on one of my ear lobes. As his tongue wet the area below my nose his lower lip pushed into my mouth for me to suck and taste.

Every flavor of his body was a joy and I was soon also sucking on his ears and moistening ever inch of his face with my saliva. At the same time our hands were exploring up and down our bodies.

After a while he had me sit on his lap facing him on the bed. His legs splayed out under me and mine spread around his waist. He leaned on the head board and I leaned back making a tent of my arms. Then he dropped a large puddle of spit into both of his hands and grabbing both of our cocks, as if they were one, began to masturbate us.

As his hands slide up and down our poles, the pleasure centers of my brain went crazy. It seemed that the only part of my body that existed was my bloated cock and my twitching ass.

Soon both of us were mixing our pre-cum together and it was all I could do to keep from moaning and crying for more when he paused. He still held both cocks in his hand, but instead of stroking them he began fucking his hands and my cock with rhythmic thrusts of his hips.

It was a fantastic sensation to have his cock essentially fucking my cock and soon I was moving with him. It didn't take very long before I reached a peak of ecstacy. I could feel the pressure start to build in my balls as the head of my cock began to tingle.

Jim must have felt the build up and tension in my body as he began to work our cocks with both of his hands, rolling and thrusting his hips as he said, "Just hold on a second, Doug and I'll be blowing with you --- There she blows!"

I could feel the tremor as it went through my body and I could feel the pulsing of his cock against mine as twin eruptions of cum squirted into the air. Our cocks were situated such that all that greasy cum splashed on my chest.

The second spasm of ejaculation came as our cock heads kissed each other and a ball of cum was formed that rose just high enough to hit my stomach and fill my naval. As I laid back on the bed my body covered with sweat and cum I enhaled the fragrance of our love and Jim milked our cocks. He was able to milk more cum from our cocks and I could see the white cream of our love rolling down his fingers.

Jim used my legs as levers to push me back on the bed so he could get up and kneel between my spread thighs. Then he fell forward onto my body. Just as Ed's did the night before his body heat warmed me.

Moving his chest stomach and groin against mine he rubbed the juice of our lust into my skin as his lips and tongue licked the sweat from my face and neck. Soon his tongue was on my throat and his lips sucked gently on my adam's apple.

Getting on his knees again between my legs he began to kiss and lick my chest. Started with my left arm pit he licked the sweat from my body. He moved from the left to the right and as his kisses descended he let his lips and tongue quickly touch and suck my tits.

Each time his tongue or lips touched one of my nipples I could feel my cock jump as a shock wave of pleasure descended from his lips to my groin.

When his tongue dipped into my naval and his lips sucked at it, I reached down and started massaging his head with both hands. With my encouragement he lowered his head and began to lick and suck on my balls. Then with his tongue he began to stroke my cock.

Soon my cock was swollen again with lust, pushing against my stomach. Turning his head sideways he began to massage my shaft with his lips and tongue, sucking gently and sliding quickly up and down the pole from the base of the glans to the where my balls cupped between my legs.

Then taking my cock in his hand he lifted it from his stomach and took the head into his mouth. Wonderful waves of pleasure rose from my groin as his hot moist mouth sucked the head of my cock and his tongue encircled and massaged the head.

He shifted his body enough so I could reach over with my hand and stroke his penis. The soft heat that rose from it warmed my palm and rose into my arm. The stiff shaft sliding up and down through my grasping fingers.

My hips rose and my legs trembled as He slide his mouth down the pole of my cock and thrust a long finger up into my hole. In and out and up and down together he sucked my cock and finger fucked by ass in unison.

His bobbing head and sucking slurping lips and probing finger soon had me ready once more to empty my body and spew forth a load of love's nectar. As I arched my back and felt a load of love move up through my cock he slide down its pole and I felt the swallowing movements of his throat on its tender head.

Then as his lips kissed my groin and his finger drove as deep as it would go into my ass I felt a fantastic few seconds of intense pleasure and my cock filled his throat with hot sticky jazz.

After he had sucked every possible drop of juice from my cock he again knelt between my legs his hard hot cock probing my groin. He lifted my legs and hung them over his shoulders and slowly and gently his cock entered me.

He pushed until the head of his cock opened the sphincter muscles and then stopped for a few seconds. Just an inch at a time he would dip deeper into me and then pause as he put more spittal on his shaft and let it run down to my clenched hole.

Soon my ass was fully impaled upon his cock and I could feel his hot balls laying on my buttock. He just stayed there holding me close to him as his cock filled my ass and the pleasure of it being there and the heat of it lust permeated my body.

After a couple of minutes of us two just being one, he began to fuck me. His cock sliding in and out of my ass past the grasping and pulsing sphincter soon had me gasping and twisting my hips in response to this thrusts.

As his lust grew, I could feel the heat build up within me and his thrusts became faster and harder until he was moving in and out with each thrust of his hips driving me into the mattress and each with withdrawal lifting me with it.

His cock slide in and out of my happy sucking asshole and his hips punished my buttocks with pounding blows until with one final hard thrust he drove his love pole deep into me as his body stiffened in ecstacy and I felt the heat of his passion fill my gut with pleasure.

His cock still semi-hard he pulled out of me the sensation of that large head sliding out of my ass sending one more shudder of pleasure up my body to escape from my lips in a strangled whisper of joy.

Laying beside me on the bed he said, "You better go back to Ed's bed. In about 20 minutes his alarm is going to go off to wake him up for church. We'll do this again sometime soon."

Reluctantly and only after a couple of passionate kisses, I found the robe I had discarded and quickly returned to Ed's room. He was under the sheet on his own side of the bed and so I crawled in beside him being very careful not to touch him.

When the alarm went off, he rolled over and shook me. "Doug," he asked, "You want to go to church."

"Sure. Why not."

After church we went out to dinner with Ed's mother and father and then took Shirley and Sylvia to a movie. After the movie we had to start back for TI.

As we were driving back to Frisco, Ed asked me, "Did you like Sylvia -- cause if you didn't I could fix up someone else. The next time we go home."

I decided that if Ed was going to be my friend and if Jim was going to be an occasional lover I better level with him. So I told him about being homosexual. We talked about it all the way back to the base with him asking me several questions, but he never let me know how he felt.

Then after he parked his car and we were walking back to catch the train to TI he said, "Doug, I really don't understand, but then I don't understand Jim either. So I guess the best thing I can say is you are one hell of a good friend, a fine man in my estimation and I really don't care who you fuck as long as it isn't me."

"You have my promise Ed, I will never fuck you in anyway."

Ed and I have been friends for many years. He is one of the few who know that I am gay. I have always wished he would let me love him physically as I love him in every other way, but it has not happened and at this point I can safely say never will happen.