Trigger Warning: Past Sexual/Physical Trauma
I felt almost high. The rush of sex and passion and heat took over my mind until it felt like I was soaring. I wanted more. I wanted to be lusted after. My calves shook as I kneeled obediently before Marcus. Adrenaline seduced me to look around even though I knew I shouldn't. It was very challenging to not stare at the multiple erections being pulled out in the semi-circle of Marcus' dominant friends. Still denied my pleasure of release, I could think of very little else than the ache in my straining cock, and my want for more abuse. My sensitive ass walls throbbed with my heartbeat around the long toy that was returned to my channel. My gaze landed on Vance, now seated beside his Master. He was rightfully lethargic after our sexual venture, with a glazed over look in his eyes. Above him, Cody's cock was at full mast and his eyes were locked on to my body. He stroked his manhood in obvious need.
No doubt he was thinking about the freshly sealed load in my ass, placed there by his sub. He caught me staring, even made eye contact with me. That was against the rules. I looked down again and braced myself to be called out for it. But it never came, Cody just continued to assault my body with his greedy eyes. I could see his imagination racing.
Cody's staring and desire did not go unnoticed by me. Of course, having men and women alike lusting after Liam was something I was used to. He never seemed to notice just how many heads he turned. He's naturally slim, with just the slightest hint of pink to his light skin tone, except for his full and delicious looking lips which were a darker red. I thought back to his lips wrapped around my cock, soft as a marshmallow, the blood showing through his blushing cheeks. My dick stirred again, recovered after blasting the boys with my cum.
Liam loved to be shown off for the piece of ass he is, and I planned to oblige him at every chance I got. "Liam." I watched him closely. At the sound of my voice, he jumped slightly and turned to face me, still looking down in submission. "Stand up." He did so as fast as he could. What a good boy. Gripping the back of his harness I guided him face down onto my lap, making sure that his plugged hole was facing directly towards Cody. Liam's back and shoulders tensed as he got in position, likely assuming I was going to spank him some more. That was a reasonable fear, as his ass now that I got a good look at it was covered in welts, bruising and harsh lines from the cane work. Temptation to just spank him anyways sure was a bitch, but I decided he'd had enough for tonight. I began by rubbing my hands over his lithe frame from neck to lower back. After a minute, it put him at ease enough to relax into me.
Gently as to not hurt him, I massaged Liam's ass cheeks and spread them apart, exposing his tail. It wagged lazily at my touch. Another twitch in my groin. What a wonderful view. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Cody's eyes locked on my hands. I began to pull on Liam's tail until it was nearly all the way out, dragging a moan from my boy. Then I shoved it back in. I repeated this several times, until a line of Vance's cum trailed down Liam's crack over his balls. Running my finger through the line I brought it to Liam's mouth and he happily suckled it off of me. I made eye contact with Cody. He looked intensely frustrated, perhaps even angry that I hadn't shared my toy with him yet. Liam was such a prize and he was all mine.
Leaning down, I bit softly at Liam's earlobe and whispered, "I don't think a dip in the arctic would make Cody's boner go down at this point." Liam's body seized in stifled laughter, but I was able to shove the plug into him quick enough that it appeared he was merely moaning at my ministrations. I wanted to smile and laugh with him, but I had appearances to keep up. "I'd better share you with him before he needs to be hospitalized. You up for one more pup?" I continued to toy with his tail, twisting it or wagging it back and forth to the song of Liam's whimpers.
Liam ground his little locked cock against my leg. Poor pup, after three weeks he gets fairly desperate. The key to his frustrations rested now in the small of his back, hanging from the chain around my neck. Goosebumps appeared around his flesh there. I still hadn't decided if I would allow him to cum tonight. There were certainly a lot of options to make it unconventional if I decided to allow it here. Liam nodded his consent to me. "That's my good boy," I cooed, "go get him." With that, I pulled his plug entirely out of his hole and helped him to stand.
At Sir's direction I crawled to Cody's feet. Once my face was before his cock, Cody sent a hungrily thankful look to Marcus before grabbing my head and forcing it to his cock. He let out a loud grunt from the wet sensations and urged me to take his entire length. To my left, Vance encouraged silently, and watched intently. Cody forced me down his shaft leading to my gagging at the thickness in my throat. I wasn't used to anything this thick before. He hissed inwards through his teeth and gripped my harness to pull me upwards. I followed his lead until I was straddling his lap facing him. I wrapped my arms around his hot and sweating neck and looked into his eyes. "Fucking ride my cock, slave." Cody commanded as he pulled my hips down, lined up with his dick and skewered me on his shaft.
"Fuck. What a nice fucking hole. I feel my slave's cum lubing you up for me." Cody mumbled to himself, distractedly. He held my ass cheeks and controlled the pace of the fuck but let me do the heavy lifting pleasuring him. "I've wanted this ass for months. You're finally all mine to breed," He continued. The rough motions continued to drive me wild. I've been wanting this for months too, I just didn't know it till now. "Ride me pup, make me cum," Cody demanded. He didn't need to tell me twice. I felt the excitement of being bred by both Vance and his Master. I rode him for all I was worth, as fast as my shaking legs would allow me. Five strokes later was all it took. He was rapt in orgasm and holding me down to his lap to accept it all deeply.
When the waves of pleasure passed and his cock began to soften, he pet my hooded head and told me I was a good boy. I smiled. That phrase never really got old for me, and always led to my tail wagging. He slipped his dick out of me and helped me to stand up.
He really was a good boy. Liam stood and walked back to me. I was ready with his leash in hand. After I replaced his tail plug, now sealing in two loads, he kneeled before me and allowed me to reattach it to his collar. As they clicked together I relaxed again. I really did love to share my slave around, but nothing felt so right or pleasurable as having him tethered to me, at my side. When he returned and the show ended, conversation around us picked up again. I couldn't focus much as I was distracted by watching the gentle motion of Liam's well-defined chest breathing.
A server with a platter of drinks passed by and I accepted one, then I went back to looking at Liam. He could use a break. He'd been going at things non-stop nearly this entire time. I should at least get some food in water for him before we continue.
Liam shivered.
It was then that I noticed he wasn't quite right. He held completely motionless, aside from his hands that began to tremble. Behind me a dominant began a flogging demonstration on their sub, creating intensely loud smacks, penetrating the entire room. Liam jumped at each one. Icy fear dragged my heart to the floor. His breathing became more ragged. I'd seen those signs before. I reached forward and laid a hand on his neck, reminding him I was here for him, always. But still he sat unresponsive.
When he flinched at my touch, I knew it was time to get him out of there. He was clearly getting too far into his head. Hoping to prevent what could become a panic attack, I stood and attempted to pull him up by the arm. No motion from him. Fine, I'd do it the hard way. Around the room I heard laughter from the flogging dominant as his slave danced to his beating. I squatted down and whispered to where only he would hear, "Liam, you're safe and I'm here for you. I'm going to pick you up and bring you somewhere quiet and comfortable. Can you hear me?" Reddened tear stained eyes beneath his hood looked past me, and he said nothing.
Afraid to wait any longer, I wrapped one hand around his back and the other under his legs to cradle him against me. He was stiff, but he didn't struggle against me thankfully. Concerned and shocked looks followed me to the door of the Quiet Lounge, but I paid them no mind. My "dominant image" be damned, I promised Liam I would protect him. I walked us casually and did not make eye contact with others as to not alarm anyone else and to discourage them from talking to me. I made our course for the break room. Halfway there Liam began to sob quietly. I quickened my pace.
I crossed the threshold and took a deep breath. The room was quite literally a breath of fresh air. Dimly lit lanterns and candles sparsely populated this room. In nearly every available space there were soft beds with warm and plush blankets. Curtains fell liberally between them, offering some mild privacy. Soft orchestral music played above our heads. Mozart, I believed.
This was the room where dominants and subs alike could retreat for aftercare, cuddling, or just to check up on each other. In the case that someone uses their safe word, they were brought here first and tended to with care. The usual rules of the party did not apply here. I carried Liam to the closest private room and gently shut the door. I set him down on the pink colored bed and plush pillows and removed the most restricting of his gear, starting with his hood, the paw mitts and the chain leash. Liam's damp hair was plastered to his head. He began to cry openly now, shaking violently and tears flowed freely.
I'd seen this before and I knew what to do. I hoped it would be enough.
As I kneeled at Marcus' side again after being bred once more, this time significantly more exhausted, I reflected on the various aches and pains around my body. I don't think I had ever had my ass beat quite like I had only a couple hours before. When submitting to Marcus I would normally sit on my bare butt and cross legged. The harsh combination of impact implements left this option all but impossible. Certain areas of my skin still smarted sharply as if stung by a hoard of bees defending their nest. Other areas, particularly the edges of my tight glutes, which were previously numbed by adrenaline, now openly hurt every time they were touched.
I rotated my head to loosen my stiff neck and jaw muscles. All of this cock sucking and groveling was tiring, but still I felt the pride that comes to me from giving the precious gift of submission. Though there is certainly a level of pride involved, I can't say it's always easy to achieve. The opposite of pride is shame, and I have done battle with that emotion constantly since I began this type of lifestyle with Marcus. My thoughts lingered back to the time before I met Marcus. Back when I was still trying to figure out what I wanted and needed sexually.
There were others interested in me before him of course. But for the most part, I could tell when a man just wanted a pretty boy on his arm to show off. That's not what I was interested in really. It was fun to play around with, but how could I feel fulfilled and happy with someone I couldn't trust? A loud "CRACK" sounded behind me, causing me to startle and jump. My heart began to thump rapidly. Another "CRACK" sounded, and I couldn't help tensing up.
My mind drifted back five years to a similarly cramped and dark room filled with bodies.
"CRACK." It sounded simultaneously in my memory and the present.
There were men surrounding me, but I felt completely alone kneeling chained to the floor by my wrists. I was naked, and crying. The sting of the whip tore at the skin of my back.
"CRACK."
I begged and screamed for them to stop. Pulled at the chains with all my might, until my wrists were chaffed and bloody. Hideous laughter all around the room reverberated on the walls in a never ending cyclone of sound.
"CRACK."
Hands on my back and legs spread me open to continue using my body between the cracks. No one listened to me. No one cared. No one helped. The memories continued to flash and a cascade of negative emotions followed it.
I had begun to sob when I realized I was being carried somewhere, though I tried to hold it in. Through the blur of my tears I saw his face. Marcus was holding me. He looked into my eyes, concerned but concentrated on something. The air around us moved a little faster as he picked up his pace. I closed my eyes into oblivion, back to reliving that old hell, praying it would stop playing in my head.
I was lying down now on clean and soft blankets and pillows. They were comfortable but I still wasn't. My face was very wet, and I couldn't relax. My world was chaos. Arms were around me again, and a warm body was spooned up to me, holding me close.
"I'm here, Liam. You're safe and you're going to be alright." a familiar voice said. It sounded so confident, but the words themselves were pretty hard to believe.
Liam gasped for breath between his groans. He shook violently and sweat profusely, but still I held on to him. Fully embracing his arms and torso together I continued to whisper positive encouragement for him as he came down from it. When the thrashing stopped, I loosened my grip to run my fingers through his hair how I knew he liked.
I knew a panic attack was a possibility before coming here. It was too close in atmosphere to some of Liam's past trauma. I knew this but still allowed him to come at his own insistence. Oppressing shame hit me like a brick to the stomach. I keep telling myself that I'm getting better at this all, but again and again I make mistakes. What's even the point of putting on the act of a dominant, and all the theatrics, if on the inside I feel just as broken as Liam feels right now?
I look down at Liam's face. Even reddened and puffy, he's still adorable. He still made my heart feel like it's made of balloons about to explode. I briefly wished I had had time to put my jockstrap back on. Now really wasn't the best time to be popping a boner, but really I couldn't help it near him sometimes. Gradually, his knotted muscles relaxed and his breathing slowed. He almost looked smaller now. I grabbed a spare towel beside the bed and sponged off some of the sweat on his face and body.
"Liam?" I whispered. This time his eyes opened. He turned around to meet me immediately and threw himself into my arms, burying his sweet face in my chest.
"I've got you, pup." I beamed down at him and smoothed some of his messy hair. We stayed that way for a while before he could speak.
"It happened again, didn't it?" he said, his voice shook with pressure.
"Yes, but you're back," I squeezed him a bit tighter, "and you have nothing to worry about now. I'm sorry I let that happen to you. It's my fault."
He stared at my jaw, unable to look into my eyes. He took a deep breath. "It's not your fault Marcus. I wouldn't have taken no for an answer to coming here. You were so excited to come, and I knew if I didn't beg you to take me too, you would have stayed home."
I looked up to the dark ceiling and stared at the speaker currently playing soft piano music. I believe it was Chopin. He was right, I would have stayed home were he not here. I kissed his forehead and said, "You're right. You know, I don't deserve you sometimes." I meant it.
"I feel the same way, sometimes," he finally looked at me with sad eyes. I saw a forest of emerald green in both of them. A forest I loved to lose myself in, sad or not. There was no point in trying to resist the urge to kiss him so I didn't. After a passionate moment, I kissed him again on the nose, to which he smiled.
"Do you want to talk about what was on your mind earlier Liam?," I approached with caution. I wanted to give him every opportunity to decline, but I knew someday he would need to work through this trauma, and I wanted to help however I could. Liam's bright smile dimmed, and he placed his head on my bicep, staring down at my collarbone. He breathed in deeply.
"It was nearly the same as last time. Back in San Francisco," Liam winced and closed his eyes. I held him close to me by the hip, so he'd remember I'm right here with him through this. "He - umm - well you know who. It was the worst part, basically. Where he... didn't stop. The laughing and all. A - and then they used me." Tears fell from Liam's downcast eyes. Heat rose to my ears and face, but I had to suppress my emotions, particularly anger, for Liam to let this all out. Looking into his cute little face, how anyone so innocent looking could have been through so much, it's unbelievable. It's unfathomable how people could be so cruel, hidden under the disguise of a fetish or kink. Abuse is abuse.
I knew the rest of the story. Liam woke up some time later in the hospital where he stayed for two weeks with severe damages throughout his body. Somehow he escaped permanent injury aside from a few scars on his back. Completely alone, and terrified to stay in San Francisco, he left for New York with nothing to his name but bad credit from crippling medical debt. With no degree or skills, he had to resort to sex work. I met him in that period of his life, when he was pole dancing on a messy bar for dollar bills. He caught my eye and I caught his.
The memory of seeing him on that bar in his neon green glowing jockstrap smiling down at me still brings a tear to my eye. It's one of the happiest days of my life. I'd do nearly anything to see that smile again.
"You're so strong Liam. Stronger than me. You are scarred still, but even those scars are healing by the strength of your will alone. The more times you face your trauma, the easier it will be in the future until it has no power over you." I'm no therapist, so I hoped what I said made sense. At the very least, whatever came out of my mouth was sent up directly from my heart.
Liam traced a vein running from my bicep up my arm with his gentle fingertips. "I guess if you think I'm stronger than you, then I'm pretty fucking strong," he laughed slightly.
"You have no idea pup." I pulled him even closer to me, to the point where I could feel his heart beating against me and held him there in a sweet intimate embrace.
Until his stomach growled at me. I laughed, "Snack time I think, huh boy?" He nodded his head. "Okay you stay here. I'll be right back." I tucked him under some blankets and watched him as I left the room. Everything from the gentle rise and fall of his breath to the curve of his ass under the sheets. As I closed the door we caught each other's eye, and I felt pretty lucky.
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