This is the latest addition to the chronicles of Kevin. If you want a clearer understanding about how Kevin and Allan met and what happened between them, first read the story, Allan's New College Freedom. But I have tried to give enough basic information within the story to be read independently. Allan is mostly autobiographical, but Kevin is with this addition more than 90% fictional. I really did have a roommate in college like Kevin, especially as described in the first four parts of New College Freedom.
My stories never mention protected sex unless integral to the story. In real life, Always use condoms and get tested regularly.
This story is a work of fiction, and contains explicit, sexual acts between adults. If this upsets or offends you, then do not read this story. If it is illegal to read this material where you live, then do not read it!
This story is published in the Nifty Archives under their normal agreements, but it remains the property of the author and must not be republished elsewhere without the author's permission.
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Letter to a College Roommate (5 of 9) By: AllanNKnox
Part 5 - Kevin gets a response from Allan:
Dear Kevin;
I got your note in the mail the other day. And I must admit that I was surprised to hear from you after all this time. Yes, I do remember you. You made quite an impression on me in the short time we were roommates, details about that impression will have to wait for another time. Suffice it to say that you left me with some bitter-sweet memories. But since I tend to be a positive person overall, I remember the "sweet" more than the "bitter."
Before going on, I want you to know that I am gay; I was gay back in college but just was not comfortable with it yet, I am now. I have known love and, in most ways, I have had a better life than my parents. If all this is uncomfortable for you, then I would prefer not to hear back from you. If you are okay with it, then I would enjoy hearing what you thought about that semester and why you left college.
As for me, I stayed in college through my third year studying music, I even joined a music fraternity, but I was having trouble dealing with being gay while attending an anti-gay college and my grades suffered. If I had decided to stay (and stay hidden) it would have taken me two more years to graduate, so I decided to save my parent's the expense and I dropped out. But having "some college" still helped my employment prospects.
About 3 years later, I met and fell in love with a man 10 years older than me, but he had the heart of a 20-year-old, (he looked a lot like Kelly who lived next door to us in the dorm, if you remember him), also, my new partner was Deaf. I had been wanting to learn sign language since I was four and saw deaf students from the local deaf school talking with their hands. I had just completed a 6-month course in basic ASL (American Sign Language) when I met him. We fell in love and two years later, we moved to Atlanta together, found good work and bought a house here. We went through a lot of troubles and good times with our love only growing through it all, then about 2 years ago, he was diagnosed with a rare and terminal illness and died earlier this year.
If he had lived a few months longer, we would have recently celebrated our 16th Anniversary. I am still sad, but I am doing my best to move forward.
Well, that is an overview of my life since we were roommates, I look forward to your response, if you respond. And if you do, perhaps we can change to E-mail to cut out the lag-time of "snail-mail," mine is below?
Sincerely; Allan allanxxxxx@att.com
Dear Allan (via e-mail);
Thanks for your e-mail address and for answering my note with more information about your life since we met in college. I am so sorry to hear about your partner's passing, death is such an ultimate loss, I cannot imagine what you are going through. But, it was so good hearing from you, and it seems to me that you are still the good guy I got to know back then.
Yes, I am very much okay with you being gay. I suspected that you were all along and that is why I wanted to contact you and to apologize. You see, I later discovered that I am Bisexual and meeting you at an important time in my life helped me eventually to come to terms with it.
Back when I first got the idea to contact you, I started writing a letter to you, mostly to apologize and to explain to you what happened when I suddenly left college. But then, not knowing if I would ever get to send it to you, I started pouring my heart into what became a more detailed life story than I originally meant to write. And, that detail extended to sexual things, so I hope it will not be TMI (too much information) for you when you read it.
Please find attached that unfinished letter. I know it is long, but please read it all before responding. I will finish the story of what happened in the last 4 years in the next letter. For now, I will wait to hear what you have to say about what I have already written.
Your College Friend; Kevin
Hi, Kevin;
I received and read your letter and all I can say is, "Wow!" That is a lot! And thanks for your kind words. I am sorry your marriage ended, and that the relationship with your boyfriend ending about the same time, that must have been a double dose of difficult. I have known other married Bisexuals who worked toward balancing things much like what you did, maintaining their marriage and having a special friend on the side.
It sounds like you have a great kid, and thanks for giving me a namesake. That especially touches my heart because I do not have any children of my own, even by adoption. That is something I will probably regret when I am old and all alone.
First, apology accepted for what happened in college, and I would like to offer one in return. The night when you just fucked me and then went straight to bed, my guilt not only made me feel dirty, but I also felt like I had done something wrong, or possibly, something to piss you off. I retreated into my guilt-wracked upbringing right after those two nights. And that is why I avoided you for several days afterward, although it seemed like you were avoiding me too. Later after college, I got past the guilt and was able to see what we did in a more realistic light.
I realized that the way you acted had more to do with a straight macho up-bringing that you still carried around and acted on, than any intent to hurt me. But realizing that made me feel used, and I did not like that feeling either. That is why I told you that I was not willing to give you sex if you were unwilling to reciprocate. At that point in time, I was willing to give up all sexual contact with you (contact I greatly desired) if it was going to be all one-sided.
I could have talked to you about it, perhaps found some middle ground we both could live with and enjoy. But, I did not even try, and for that and the way I acted toward you, I apologize. That Christmas break was also a time of deep thought for me as well, and I came back to college resigned to at least talk to you about it. And if necessary, I was prepared possibly to give in and suck you or let you fuck me, on an occasional basis just to keep the desired contact and continue to negotiate with you for reciprocation.
I have to say that when you started that nightly routine of getting naked in front of me before your shower and coming back to the room dripping wet so you could dry off in front of me, it was an almost religious experience for me. I had never seen any guy with such a beautiful body, butt, and dick. Those mental images were and remain for me the image of male physical perfection.
I even thought of one way you could reciprocate without actively participating. In exchange for you getting off in my mouth or ass, you would allow me what might be called, "Touching Privileges." When we were in the room alone with the blinds closed and the door locked, I could touch you in any way I chose, up to and including me getting off by rubbing my dick on you (frottage), between your legs or between your perfect butt cheeks. But I would have never given up trying to get you to let me fuck you again.
It seems that a lot of mostly straight guys who are curious or have some desire in a gay direction, are only comfortable with sexual activity that is passive. They simply cannot play an active role in sucking or even fucking. This surprised me.
I met a mostly straight guy after college who was like that. He would let me fuck him if I would bring him off while I was fucking him or if I sucked him off right after. Several times, I asked him if he wanted to fuck me, but he turned me down cold every time, and of course he would not suck me not even as foreplay. He told me that he enjoyed putting things in his ass (or when his wife did) during sex, and he liked my dick better than a dildo. His wife knew that he enjoyed ass-play but he said that she did not know about what he and I did together. So, for the first and only time, I was the "other woman?"
After the Christmas break, when I got back to our room for the next semester and saw your things gone, I was sad and concerned. I asked the Resident Assistants if you had moved to another room or dropped out. They said you came to get your things the previous weekend and had checked out of the room, that is all they knew. I then asked some guys from your hometown if they knew what happened to you, and they said they didn't.
Soon after I got back to the room, there was a knock on the door. I had a new roommate. He was nice enough and we got along okay. But you were a beauty to behold, and by comparison, he was ugly. So, I had to look elsewhere for eye-candy. Luckily, the shower room was right across the hall, but in a sexually repressed religious college there were far too many guys who were shy about nudity. I kept trying to catch Kelly naked, the guy who lived next door to us. He was almost too slender, but he had long legs and a nicely shaped butt that I got to see naked only once, but he often walked around in his snug tighty-whities and a t-shirt, which was nice.
And do you remember that tall, lanky guy, Gerry, that lived down the hall from us? He was at least 6'5" with long reddish blond, wavey hair, a long face and sad eyes, but he did not play any sports and was kind of awkward. Later that year, I stayed on campus one weekend when almost everyone was off campus for some reason. Gerry and I was practically the only guys on our floor still there, so we hung out. As it turns out, he was bi-curious. We talked a lot about what guys could do sexually together, but in the end, there was only one thing he wanted to try, and that was getting sucked. I had already told him I had been sucked by a guy before (but did not admit to sucking anyone) and volunteered to show him what it felt like.
We had been talking in a darkened room at his request, him lying on his bed, so mostly we were doing this almost blind and by touch. He pulled his briefs down and I reached for his already hard dick. Now, I had thought he might be bigger than average just because he was such a big guy overall. But when I felt his dick, I was shocked, he was humongous! I had never even imagined that a dick could grow so big. When I put one hand around the base and the other around it just above that, there was still about 4" left sticking out. He had to be at least 12 inches long and was very thick. He had ample foreskin but it did not cover his smallish crown in its erect state. His dick was curved downward and was much thicker in the middle, less thick toward the base and crown. It was so thick at its thickest point that gripping it tightly, my thumb and index finger would not meet and was more than an inch away from meeting. I was suddenly glad he did not want to try fucking me, but I tried in vain to get him to "turn over" for me to fuck him.
I sucked the end of that monster dick, working the long shaft with both hands until he came in my mouth. It didn't take very long, and he did not come very much. It also did not taste sweet like yours, but almost metallic and made me gag a bit. Gerry avoided me through the next week and until after he visited home. When he got back to school, he looked me up specifically to tell me he had just got engaged to his high school sweetheart and they were getting married that next summer. I have always thought that he was just curious about having sex with guys and after he tried it decided he was not at all gay. Or perhaps he discovered that he wanted more and that scared him into rushing his plans for marriage. I should have warned him that he needed to let his fiancee see that monster between his legs BEFORE they marry, because some women are frightened by dicks that huge. But, I hope he found happiness.
Also, another guy you may remember from college is Billy. I do not remember seeing him that first semester, so he may have started after you left college. He was very short (only about 4.5' tall) and the life-of-the-party type. I was visiting a student on the floor below our room in the dorm and went into the nearest bathroom to take a leak when I saw Billy coming out of the shower. He must have just jacked off in the shower because he was hanging down... way down... PAST his knee.
Yes, he was real short but that was still a shocker. If he had been six feet tall, his dick would have needed to be 14" or 15" long to even reach to his knee, but in reality, it was probably only about 8.5 inches... still a lot of dick for such a small guy. I mentioned this to the guy I was visiting, and he said, "Yeah, Billy parades that thing in front of everyone in the dorm whenever he gets the chance. I think he hopes we will tell girls about it so he will get more dates." And I thought, but did not say, "...or maybe he was just trying to impress those guys?"
In spite of what it sounds like, I was mostly naive back then. But I knew that I was at least 98% gay, enjoyed all kinds of sexual contact with guys (the kinds of contact that I was aware of at the time), and I knew that I enjoyed fucking the most. I would later discover that this was called being a "Versatile Top." When you and I had just started talking about sex, I pegged you for just a curious Straight guy, but the more I learned about you, the more I believed you to be on the straight side of Bisexual. I thought you let me fuck you only because I maneuvered you into it. I am glad to find out from your letter that you enjoyed it as much as I did.
After I left college, I had to finally face the fact that I am gay and that it cannot be changed or prayed away. I had been gay since my first sexual thought and had never, ever had a straight thought that resulted with a physical response (getting hard). When I came out to my parents, I also told them that if God hated me for how He made me, then I was through with God. That did not make it easier for them to accept me being gay, but they did tell me that they would always love me no matter what. And that helped me get through that time of my life.
A mentor introduced me to a new church that had just started up that ministered to the gay community. There I learned that traditional churches purposely misinterpreted the Bible to fit their anti-gay feelings, much in the same way they once did to justify slavery, and that the "clobber passages" didn't mean what they claimed especially in the areas of gay love and relationships. I was then able to reconcile my faith with the fact of being gay. I am not an overly religious person, even now, but this replaced my inner turmoil with peace.
It was at this time in my life that I met Ron, the guy I fell in love with and spent the remainder of his life with, through good times and bad, and through sickness and health. We matched up and fit together in ways I had never imagined any two people could. Our individual weaknesses were counterbalanced by strengths in the other. We made a good team.
We met at a party for both deaf and "speaking" people and a few months later, on a trip to Atlanta we made our first commitments to each other. Two years later we were living there, found work, me in the printing industry and Ron in a government office. We bought a house and put down roots. And mostly, we were happy, that is until he got sick and later died.
I wish you could have met Ron, he was truly unique. And he was a "size queen" so he would have enjoyed your big, beautiful dick. If that sounds weird, just know that on rare occasions we would "play" with a third guy, but only if we both wanted to do it and the guy was agreeable. We would have enjoyed making you the "meat" in our "fuck sandwich."
Well, that is enough for this letter. I look forward to hearing the remainder of your story.
Best Wishes; Allan
Part 6 of Letter to a College Roommate is cumming...
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And check out the other Chronicles of Kevin stories:
Cousin Joe Loves Dick (the earliest story about Kevin) https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/rural/cousin-joe-loves-dick
Porked By "Meat" (Kevin tells how his anal virginity was taken, referred to in the Cousin Joe story) https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/porked-by-meat
Joe's Revenge on "Meat" (Cousin Joe tells about getting revenge on Kevin's virginity stealer) https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/joes-revenge-on-meat
Allan's New College Freedom (Allan tells about rooming with Kevin) https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/allans-new-college-freedom/
------------------------------------------------------ Positive comments and suggestions are always welcome. AllanNKnox Allan@Grassyvalley.us ------------------------------------------------------