With my pinning in Lambda, life in the dorm became more and more difficult. Not only did the pin I wore cause comments and concerns among my fellow, male, freshmen but also my own feelings and emotions were now more out the open. The combination of these made my stay there miserable. I had the shower to myself most of the time now. No one, it seemed, wanted to be in there when I was. I was shunned as "one of those Lambda queers".
I began spending more and more time at Amanda's apartment and all of that time en femme. Amanda and Tracy became my best friends and we were together most of the time now. They taught me the "ropes" of being a queen on campus, helping me with makeup, hairstyle, clothes, how to act, how to carry myself, and even the fine art of voice training. I had never developed a deep voice anyway, and with their help I began perfecting the pitch, intonation, and timbre of the female voice.
My "normal" campus attire consisted of jeans, a tee shirt or sweatshirt or sweater, and girls sneakers with or without socks. Underneath this I always wore a bra and panties. My hair was kept in a tight pony tail. My toenails and fingernails remained polished at all times now. I wore light makeup to class occasionally, and every weekend.
I slept at Amanda's on the weekends, and several nights a week, at first. After a month I effectively moved out of the dorm, leaving a minimum of things there, returning several times a week to take the odd phone call from my parents. My return was always greeted with stares and whispers.
I continued my part time job at the laundry, using some of my salary to build up my wardrobe. I still stole the occasional article of clothing from there, but with Amanda and Tracy's help began more selective shopping for used clothing at the thrift shops. My collection of shoes grew to unbelievable proportions in just a few weeks. The only new things I bought were panties and bras, and soon had the seven sets of each required for a complete weeks dressing.
We made plans for me to move in permanently as soon as my spring freshman semester was over. The school required freshmen to live in dorms, but after that we were free to live off campus.
As I promised myself, I started my diary, from which the rest of this story is taken, beginning just three weeks after my initiation into Lambda.
Tuesday, October 2nd.
Today was another typical class day, up at 8am for my 9am class - English. I'm aware of the fact that fellow students are staring at me on campus. It must be my "outing" or my Lambda pin, which I'm wearing every day now.
I visited the Trexler Hall men's room again today. Sat for at least an hour with no action. Jerked off, but it was only temporary relief. I haven't tasted a cock in 2 days now. I wonder if I'm having withdrawal symptoms. It's all I seem to think about. I guess I'm what Amanda calls "boy crazy". Funny thing is, I feel good about it.
Working at the laundry is mind numbing. I enjoy meeting people who come in to drop off or pick up their laundry, but the time in between is spent studying or daydreaming. And the salary is not keeping up with my expenses. Amanda has not yet asked me for rent, but I'm sure she's thinking of it. I make a mental note to look for a better paying job.
Wednesday, October 3rd.
Today is a full day of classes, beginning at 8am and more or less non stop til 4pm. I enjoy the mind stimulation of a day like today. No time to find trouble to get into.
Jerked off in the shower. God, I need a boy.
Thursday, October 4th.
Light class day, only one morning class. I'm in the Trexler men's room by noon. It's quiet for about the first half hour I sit there, then someone comes into the stall next to me. Peeking thru the glory hole, I see a boy unzipping and playing with himself. His soft penis soon becomes erect from his manipulation and I press my eye to the hole to get a better look. I would estimate 6 inches, not at all a bad prize. As he offers it to me thru the hole I take it quickly into my mouth and let my lips and tongue work their magic. I feel it grow at least another two inches inside my warm mouth and I'm able to slip my fingers around it with the head in my mouth. I jack and suck as I make a mental note that this is my first dick in almost a week now. After that, I quit thinking and throw my mind in to the task at hand. Something seems to come over me when I'm having sex and my mind goes to another place with something like auto pilot guiding me. I'm sure it's some kind of instinctive reaction and later I wonder if I'm not born to give pleasure. I sure enjoy it. He does too, obviously, as he begins fucking my face thru the glory hole. Within minutes he seems to tense and I feel the first warm spurts of sticky boy juice in my mouth. It is heavenly as he continues to shoot inside me. I must be getting better at this as I don't miss a beat, pausing only to swallow between spurts. He has soon emptied himself inside me and allows me to suck his soft cock for another minute. He then pulls out and I hear the sound of his zipper, followed almost immediately by the sound of the stall door opening and his retreating footsteps.
I sit in bliss, the taste of his semen strong in my mouth, and wait for the next opportunity. Alas, this is to be the only action of the day and after another unproductive hour I leave. The rest of the day is forgettable.
Friday October, 5th.
Another heavy class day. But then it's the weekend! I'm at Amanda's apartment by 4:30 and we spend time catching each other up on the events of the week. My week is dull compared to all the encounters she has had, and she promises me that she can liven up my bleak sex life, given time. We're both horny, and she sits on the couch and lets me suck her off. She has such a nice cock, and I kneel on the floor in front of her enjoying the experience. She's also had more practice this week than me, so it takes a while, which I don't mind. Slipping her panties off, she offers her ball sack to me, which I lick and take one of her balls into my mouth. The experience of "blowing" someone's balls is a turn on that I still find unique and exciting today. As she spreads her legs farther apart, I slip my mouth down to her anus and find it deliciously warm. I'm surprised at the lack of male odor here, as I lick at the tight pink hole. I don't know what I expected, but I enjoy this...as does Amanda from the moans I hear each time my tongue probes inside her. She is hot and wet now, and she pulls me to my feet, unbuttoning my jeans, slipping down my panties, and taking my stiff rod in her mouth. Within seconds I'm wet from her saliva and my precum and she pulls her mouth off my dick and lays back down, pulling me on top of her. With my hand pushing and hers pulling, my prick is soon pressing against that wet hole, which slackens quickly and accepts the head inside. I'm on fire as I press on inside her, pausing only to allow her to relax her ass muscles before sliding in farther. Amanda is experienced at this and soon her legs are staight up in the air, giving me better access to her. I'm in all the way now, and the feeling is incredible. It's my first time to fuck anyone, boy or girl, and I can't last long. While she is not extremely tight, the result she says of being fucked so much, the feeling is strong enough that I don't last more than a minute before I feel my ball sack tighten, then slacken as I empty myself into her. Her hand, tight around her prick, does it's magic too, and she cums all over both of us. I slid down on my knees again and lick the remnants of her orgasm into my mouth.
"I can't get enough of that" I sigh as I lick up the last remaining cream from her leg.
"Of what"? she asks.
"Cum" I reply "I just can't get enough. It's all I think about anymore, the taste, the feel. It's like a reward I get for doing a good job".
"Well, my dear, it's good you like it. I didn't at first, an aquired taste I imagine. Men seem to like a girl who will suck them off and swallow their cum. I used to suck them off and spit it out, til one old man slapped me around for it. I guess it's a male domination thing or something."
"I would never spit it out" I said " I like the feel of it in my mouth and especially my throat as I swallow it. And I like the taste in my mouth afterwards. It's kind of a reminder to me that I can savor all day".
"Well, I know a way you can have that kind of thrill and make some money too" Amanda replied cryptically.
"What do you mean"? I asked.
"Hooking" she explained "there's a place on the east side of the city where hookers hang out. Straight, gay, and even T girls. They call it "gobblers alley" if you know what I mean. I've been there a few times. The straights cruise there looking for sex, mostly oral. The T girls charge less than the real girls and gays, so it's a bargain basement of sorts. I've turned tricks there for $25 a go."
"Wow" I exclaimed "is it safe? I mean, don't the police patrol"?
"Sometimes, but they hardly bust anyone for just standing around, or just talking to guys. I've never seen them bust anyone. Tell you what, we'll check it out tomorrow night if you're serious about getting more cum than you're getting now".
"Well, I suppose we could at least check it out" I said, half convinced but still a bit leary.
Saturday October 6th
Funny thing about the day your life changes. It seems like any other day until that life altering event happens. This was no exception. I awoke to sunlight streaming thru the windows in Amanda's bedroom. She was already up and puttering around the kitchen when I dragged myself out of bed. Thoughts of the previous evening ran thru my mind and my prick hardened. It would be like that all day.
The weather had turned cooler this week, and we both opted for jeans and light sweaters to go out that evening. Amanda wore black bikini panties and a matching black fasten in the front bra. I chose a pair of red thong panties and a matching red low cut bra. I pulled it tight around my chest creating the illusion of cleavage. We both wore black 3 inch heels. We made each other up heavily, with rouge and dark eye shadow, I retouched my nails, and we were ready. It was the first time I had been out in public dressed completely as a girl. The heels were a bit uncomfortable to walk in at first, but by the time we got to the bus stop I was doing fine. I was a bit apprehensive about going out dressed, but no one seemed to notice anything unusual about us and my worry was unfounded.
The bus ride to the east side of the city took one half hour, and Amanda used the time to clue me on the ins and outs of hooking in the city.
"Don't ever go there alone" she began "too much chance to get abused. And remember, these girls are in it for the money. Don't let them know you're giving it away free. I usually take what the guy offers me, sometimes it's $20 or $25. "
We got off the bus at a street I didn't know and walked 2 blocks south into what appeared to be a decaying warehouse district. We walked along a wide street that Amanda told me was called "the strip" and I could see several women either walking or standing on the street. A slow parade of cars and trucks inched down the strip, several stopping to talk with the girls thru rolled down windows.
Sometimes the girl would get in and the vehicle drive off, sometimes the girl just went back to her waiting.
I guess the deals were made thru the windows.
3 blocks down the strip, we turned to the right and walked along a much narrower side street. Same parade of cars and trucks, but the hookers here were all male. Amanda said this was called the "meat rack" and was gay. Several of the hookers looked young, very young, maybe 16 at the oldest, and I wondered how they got away with that.
2 blocks down the meat rack and we took another right, then a short block and then a left into what seemed to be a dead end alley. "Gobblers Alley" announced Amanda, and I tried to adjust my eyes to the darkness. It was a short alley, a dead end, and very narrow. Much too narrow for a car to enter. I could make out another girl standing about 6 feet back in the alley and as we approached Amanda spoke to her.
"Hi Gina" she said, apparently Amanda had done this before. I was shocked, but not too much, knowing the wild thing Amanda was.
"Hi Mandy" the other girl spoke in a deeper voice. "Who's your friend".
"Gina, meet Lesli" she said "her first time here".
"Hi Lesli, wow, you're a real looker".
"How's business" Amanda asked the other girl. I could just begin to make out her features, she was rather large, maybe 6 feet tall, perched unsteadily on spiked heels and dressed in a short mini, black sweater, and what I took to be a cheap wig.
"Nothin but the regulars" she replied "and Rufus talkin his shit".
Amanda explained that Rufus was a black pimp who had several prosititutes working for him on the strip and liked to come back to the alley to check on compeitition. Apparently he was satisfied that the transvestites weren't stealing too much of his income, although the prices here were $15-20 cheaper.
I would come to learn later that most of the customers back here were straight, mostly seeking a quick, safe, blowjob. They would never stop at the meat rack, that was too gay. The illusion they got from the transvestite cocksuckers was enough to overcome any guilt, and the price discount was even better. "When they close they're eyes, they can't tell no difference" as Gina so aptly put it!
Gina, Amanda, and I stood just inside the alley way, out of view of the street, making small talk. Every now and then a cars lights would illuminate the street in front of us and Gina or Amanda would step out of the shadows and check it out. They were checked out too, that was obvious, as I could see the drivers peering thru rolled up windows at us. I was still too shy, but was working my courage up. By the time the third car came by I was standing on the sidewalk with them, in full view of the driver. I felt a rush of excitement and arousal as he slowly drove by, his eyes taking all three of us in.
Soon, very soon, a car that had cruised by two times came to a halt in front of the alley entrance. Gina and Amanda walked over to the open passenger's side window and leaned in. I couldn't hear what was going on, but within a matter of seconds, Amanda opened the door, slid in the passenger's seat, and the car quickly drove off. Gina explained to me that Amanda had been with this "john" several times before and they were going to a quiet parking spot about 3 blocks away, where Amanda would suck him off for $20.
"Just wait here honey" she said "your turn will come. You a good lukin girl." I couldn't honestly say the same about Gina, but then again, she did seem to be a nice person I'm sure I could learn a lot from her.
Sure enough, my turn did come. A car slowly cruised down the street, stopping just in front of us. Gina walked over but the driver motioned to me. I was a little unsure of myself, but I summoned up enough courage to walk the few steps to the passenger window, which was down, and bent down to look inside.
"Hop in honey" a voice from the darkened interior called to me "let's go for a little ride". And with, the passenger door opened. Not knowing anything, I looked to Gina who gave me the ok sign with her thumb and forefinger. I slid into the passenger seat as ladylike as I knew how and closed the door behind me.
"We're not going far" he said, turning to look me over "just to the usual spot where no one will bother us. Damn you're looking good."
I had a chance to look him over now too. He was not young, perhaps in his 30s, a little overweight from the looks of it, but he had a nice face and he seemed pleasant enough. He chatted away as we turned first to the right then to the left, and then I lost track of where he was going.
Within maybe a minute we pulled into a very narrow space against what looked like a big warehouse. He parked the car between two trash dumpsters. I suppose it was hidden from casual view here.
"How bout slidin over here and givin me some head honey" It wasn't a request, but he wasn't unpleasant either. As I slid across the seat I noticed that his pants were unfastened and I brought my hand to his crotch, cupping his balls. He let out a sigh and pushed his pants down more so I could get at the head of his dick. It wasn't big, and it wasn't cut, but I wasn't going to complain. I pulled his shorts down past his ass and wrapped my hand around his soft prick. I jacked him slowly til I felt it harden ever so slightly, then I brought my face down into his lap and began licking the head thru his foreskin. That brought on more moans and had the effect of bringing his member to strict attention. As it hardened in my mouth, I estimated the length at 6 inches.
This was my first sex in a car, and I wasn't familiar with the ins and outs.
Thank heavens it was a bench seat, at least I could half lie on the seat with my legs and feet in the floor. I bobbed up and down, impaling my self on the juicy cock, bringing the head to my lips and then deepthroating it in one fluid movement. I was in my element, on my knees, my head between his legs, and I felt nothing but pure lust as I serviced him. I think I was made for this, I mean I think I lived to pleasure men. I derived an extreme amount of pleasure and excitement from doing this, and I couldn't imagine a thing I would rather do.
"Ooooooooh...yesssss.suck it honey, suck it all down" he yelled. As if I needed any more encouragement. I was lost in my passion, lost pleasing him, lost pleasing me, lost in my role of suck slut.
"Aaaah, I'm going to cum" he exclaimed, as if to warn me. But he didn't relax the pressure on the back of my head, so I'm sure he wasn't trying to warn me as much as prepare me. Within seconds I was aware of the warm feeling in my mouth, not of my saliva, but of his orgasm, as he filled me slowly with the precious fluid I had come to crave. I continued to bob up and down on his shaft, slower now so not as to lose any of my reward. I held it all in my mouth until he was soft and dry. Then I took a swallow and let it all rush down my throat, mixed with my own excited saliva, towards my stomach. I took a few more easy strokes on the shaft to make sure I had captured it all, then let the head plop from my mouth before giving it a loving kiss.
"You're really an expert cock sucker" he complimented as he rearranged his clothing "I'm going to look you up again real soon".
I was lost in a haze of passion as he drove me back to the alley. I made small talk, but all I could think of was the sex that had just taken place, the hard cock, the wonderful cum that I had coaxed from his balls and deposited in my stomach. I was, in short, in heaven at the moment.
So dazed that he had to remind me to take the money, a twenty and a ten, before I left the car. I had completely forgotten to ask for money! Some prostitute I would make. Amanda had returned by this time and she and Gina greeted me as I stepped from the car. Amanda wanted to know all about my first time, and I told her. Then she told me of her experience. I really wasn't interested. I was focused on the next opportunity, which was coming down the street at that moment.
"Please, let me have the next one" I pleaded "I just have to have another one, I'm so hot".
"Well, new girl" Gina said with surprise "you just go get it honey". And with that I made my way across the street as sexily as I could, and leaned in the drivers window as he stopped.
"Hey honey, want to go for a ride" I blurted, not caring at all. I was hot.
He was hot. He was number two that night. There would be 4 more after him. 4 delicious cocks, needing my attention, my talent, to satisfy them. And I needed those 6 cocks, in the worse way.
And so it went on my first night. I counted over $150 in my jeans pocket before Amanda was able to drag me back to the bus stop around 4 am in the morning. But the money wasn't on my mind as the bus chugged along the city streets - it was the sex, the glorious sex - the fact that men found me attractive, sexy even - that they wanted me - and that I had the skills to please them. My life had entered a new phase that evening. I had found a new role, one for which I seemed suited. Call me a hooker - a prosititute - I loved the terms - call me what you like, but I realized the truth. I was a sex object to be used for whatever men wanted, and I was excited at the possibilities.
Amanda was tired when we returned to her apartment, but I was still wired and wanted to talk. She humored me and we had a long discussion, going over the details of our evening, and then analyzing my thoughts and feelings about what had transpired. It was obvious to me that she had done this many times before and she quite enjoyed it as well. It was how she could afford the apartment, the clothes, and everything else nice she had. She had been reluctant to suggest it to me, but after she saw how I warmed to it that evening, she was glad she had introduced me to the experience.
Then she told me more. She had first discovered the scene almost a year ago. She went there at least twice, sometimes three and four, nights a week. There were about five other TV hookers who worked the alley, mostly plain Janes as she called them, not pretty, not overly convincing. Low on self esteem, I would later term them. Amanda, with her long legs and sexy body, had been popular with the customers from the first. She was in demand, as she said, and attracted a regular clientele. Sex was mostly in cars, but sometimes in cheap motels, or occasionally in the alley itself. Prices varied from $15 to $50, depending on the act and the customer, and she brought home at least $200 a week. If she really worked it, she had made as high as $500 a week.
She had also attracted the attention of Rufus, the black pimp, who ran a group of prostitutes on the strip and also owned a club, Chilli's, non far from there. Amanda thought him crude and overbearing and had resisted his advances and the idea he would take money from her. He had threatened her but nothing had come of it. Still, she warned me to stay away from him. "I think the idea of having a cute college girl work for him turns his ego on" she had explained.
Amanda intended to use part of her money to begin female hormone treatments, and eventually sexual reassignment surgery. Both terms were new to me, but I realized that I would have to think about that too, and the stirrings of my desire to be a real woman were born that night.
I was wired, but I supressed the need for sex, knowing that passion would drive me to be on the street in the evening.
Sunday October 7th.
I slept til past 3pm that afternoon. The day was overcast, but the temperature was much warmer, and I talked Amanda into going out again that evening. It really didn't take much persuasion, I think she enjoyed it as much as me.
Tonight would be different, though. We dressed in jeans and sweaters over our panties and bras, but we added hose to our outfits. And, we packed mini skirts and 4 inch spiked heels in a shopping bag with the idea that we would change into them in the alley. We both took extra time with our makeup and hair, and by 7pm were ready to go out.
The bus ride seemed shorter now, and I was wet with sexual desire by the time we got off on the strip and began the short walk to gobblers alley. I did take time to notice the girls on the strip this time, mostly young, not too pretty, and tired and disinterested looking. I made a mental note that Amanda and I looked much better than them.
There was no one in the alley when we arrived, and we changed into our skirts and heels in the back, stowing our shopping bag behind a dumpster. Standing on the corner, we made a nice looking pair of sluts on the lookout for opportunity.
It wasn't long in coming as first one, then two cars stopped across the street. Amanda was leaning into the passenger side of one, while I took the other. My "opportunity" turned out to be a young hunk who, after the briefest negotiating session, drove me to "Paradise Point" a local makeout spot overlooking the river. There were other cars in the lot, but I couldn't make out what was going on inside them. I could imagine. He was quick, too quick, and I was on my knees in the floor just beginning to deepthroat him when he spurted off in my mouth. I wasn't nearly satisfied, but I would come to realize that didn't matter to him, and the $20 he gave me would be my only memory of him. We drove back to the alley in silence, I think he was a bit uneasy after blowing his load, he dropped me off, and sped away. Standing there, the sexual need built to unbearable proportions and I looked forward to anything else that came my way.
Amanda had not returned, so all the opportunity was mine, and I swayed across to the next car that stopped across the street. Leaning in the passenger window I was greeted by the sexiest, gaudiest black male I had ever seen. He was large, although it was difficult to determine exactly how large as he sat on his side of the car, and had more gold on his body than I had ever seen before. Chains, rings, earrings, it literally dripped off him. I slid into the passenger seat and we drove slowly away, stopping in a back alley.
"Damn sugah, you lookin gooood" he purred in a low tone "I'm Rufus"
The dreaded Rufus? Funny, he didn't meet the mental image I had from Amanda. "Hi Rufus, I'm Lesli" I replied.
"Yeah, I know" he continued "I heard all about you last night from my boys. They say you a looker and you know how to use whatcha got. I don't go into this homo shit ma self, but I got $500 says I could get you hooked up with some real cash, know what I mean?" I didn't, but I let him go on.
"Life out here ain't like yo college" he emphasised, "you can get hurt all kindsa ways. You can get busted by vice, you can get hurt by the johns, you can freeze your pretty ass off in the winter. Ol Rufus here can take care of you. Shit, I can put you on the strip where you can make some real cash, I can put you in Chilli's where it's safe and warm. Yeah, Rufus can make you a star baby."
"Well" I started "life doesn't seem so bad here, I kinda like it on the street..."
"Look, don't you listen to that shit Mandy spouts" he interupted "she can get hurt too. Anybody don't work for Rufus can get bad hurt. Think about that reeeaal hard. It'd be a real crime to see you get that pretty face all cut up". And with that he reached across me and opened the door, forcing me out of the car, and speeding away. I walked the three blocks back to gobblers alley, getting lost once before finding my way.
Amanda was furious when I told her of my encounter with Rufus.
"That godamned nigger motherfucker" she yelled "the fucking nerve of that pervert to suggest working for him. I've told him, in no uncertain terms, that I would rather eat shit than work for him and those goons he calls his boys. Godamn, godamn him."
I was silent, and the silence bothered Amanda. I think she could tell from the look I gave her that I had not shared her misgivings about Rufus.
"Lesli, if you even think about cooperating with that motherfucking son of a bitch you're crazy or stupid, or both" she admonished. I let it drop, but I could tell that she wouldn't. We worked the night away, I turned 4 more tricks before midnight, ending up at Paradise Point two more times, and "double dating" with Amanda and two teenage tricks just at the stroke of midnight. We drove to a deserted latenight parking garage, Mandy in the front seat and me in the back, where we had the longest encounter of the night. We blew them once before trading places and doing it all over again, trading back and sucking them off for the third time. They were young, hot, and hung, and I forgot all about collecting the money when we were finished. It was Amanda, the business person, who made sure they paid for the sex. I was seriously considering partying all night with them for free, but Amanda cooled them off by demanding $100 for an all nighter. I was disappointed but convinced that it would do no good to argue with her. She really seemed to be into the money more than me. I made a mental note to come here by myself at the first chance I got.
It was just before 2:00am when Rufus came back. We had been joined by another girl named Shawna earlier in the evening and now the three of us were standing, talking and looking for customers when Rufus drove slowly past us. Amanda began cursing as soon as she recognized him and by the time he was directly across from us she had worked herself into a regular frenzy.
"You stupid motherfucking nigger" she was yelling at the top of her lungs "get the fuck outa here, you dumbshit bastard". Rufus heard her, I know, because his window was rolled down and it would be impossible not to hear her. "Yo ass is gone" he yelled back and then sped away into the night.
There was no more business that night. I guess it was a combination of the late hour, Sunday night, and the fact that Rufus had upset Amanda, but we called it quits after that. Retreiving our jeans and changing in the back of the alley, we walked the short distance to the bus stop and caught the next bus back to Amanda's. We were silent during the ride back, and my mind again was filled with the things I had experienced tonight. I was sure that I liked it, I couldn't seem to think of anything else but the rush I experienced standing on the corner, men looking at me and wanting me. To be the object of their desire seemed to be what I really got off on. The sex was a lot of fun, if I had to complain about anything- and I wasn't complaining - it would be that sex with straight boys and men meant sucking them, and I missed the excitement of getting screwed. Little did I know that would change soon.
To be continued
Lesli99@hotmail.com