This is a fictional story. It is based on many experiences and fantasies of the authors. If you are really into graphic sex, it may not satisfy your purpose for coming here. If you like to hear of real love and real teen angst, with a little sex thrown in, you are in the right place. There may be some amount of graphic sex between males. If this is objectionable to you, or you are legally too young to be here, you are cordially invited to press your back button.
Chapter 3
Lenny:
I said goodbye to Rennie with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was really having mixed feelings! On the one hand, he was so hot! I had admired him for so long, not even daring to verbalize, even to myself, how I really felt! And now here he is in my life, and apparently feels the same about me!
On the other hand, I was just minutes away from having to face my dad. Damn, Damn, DAMN! I hate lying to him! I love him - and my mom. But it would break their hearts to tell them I am - I am - I can't even say it to myself, in my mind! I've said it before - but when I am thinking of my dad, it is so hard!
Wait a minute! What was Ren about to say to me before he left? I got the feeling he was going to say - no! It couldn't be! But - it sounded like he was going to tell me (Omigod!) that he loves me! Is that even possible, in less than a week? And yet we have watched each other much longer than that!
I have to say, I - I feel something that I have never felt before. I know what pure lust feels like! I felt it when I was in bed with that friend of Seth's. Shit, I can't even remember his name! Fred, Was it? But what I feel for Rennie! I am so mixed up I just -
"Leonard?" my dad's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"I'm in my room, Dad."
"May I come in?"
"Sure." Here it comes. But what!? Here WHAT comes?
"Have a seat, Len." I sat on the couch. Dad sat on my bed opposite me, slightly higher than I was. It made me feel like a little boy. "Len, your mom says your psych teacher has told you that you need to be more independent."
"Uh, well, yeah." I said, my mouth as dry as the Sahara. "Did you tell Mom about last night - what you saw?" (Or what he THOUGHT he saw!)
"No, son. I have not. First of all I want to apologize for putting this off for such a long time."
"Hunh?" Now I was out in right field!
"I know that I should have spoken to you years ago about sex, but - somehow the opportunity just did not present itself."
I felt a tingling sensation consume my whole body. Were we actually having the "birds and bees" conversation that some of my friends had when they were -- what, 12?
"Now, I'm not so naive as to think you are completely ignorant, son. I know they have sex Ed classes at school. What did you learn there?"
"Uh - gosh - where do I start? Uh, well, in the first place, I learned much more from Father than I ever did at school!"
DAMN Why did I say that!?? I don't EVEN want to go there! SHIT!
"Father?" He said, questioningly, then, "FATHER?? Are you talking about that PERVERT that the bishop sent away 4 or 5 years ago?"
Feeling already defeated, I replied, "Yeah."
"Did he touch you!"? He looked and saw tears forming in my eyes. "DID THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH AS MUCH AS LAY A HAND ON YOU??"
Oh God! What do I say now? "It was nothing."
"NOTHING?!!" He ranted. He saw fear in my eyes, or something, and got control over himself. "Leonard, tell me what he did to you. It's all right, you can't say anything wrong." He was fighting to contain his rage.
"It really was nothing Dad. He asked me to come back to his pit, to talk over my lack of faith."
"And you -- you WENT?"
"I LIKED him, Dad - a LOT. Everyone did!. He was real nice to us - me - and I liked being with him."
"Did you know how 'nice' he was to some of your friends? Did you know that He sodomized them - I assume you know what that is - and got them to reciprocate. That pervert would have done the same to you if you had let him! "WHAT EXACTLY did that DISGUSTING QUEER DO TO YOU??!!!"
I was paralyzed! He looked at me almost with crazed eyes, saw that I was afraid, and started over.
"Son, there are not many things more disgusting or more against God's natural law as men doing things - sexual things - with other men. I would DIE if my son ever told me he were a homo! Now I'm almost RELIEVED that I caught you and that little slut last night At least it means you are not QUEER! What did he do to you?"
What could I say? What could I do - but lie. "He didn't do anything, Dad. I followed him into his chamber and he asked me if I knew much about - about - sex." I hoped he would be satisfied with that.
"Oh?" Dad said. "And what did he ask you next?"
"Dad that was almost six years ago. I don't remember - exactly. He asked me if I masturbated. Of course I did not want to lie to him."
"What did you tell him?"
SHIT! This is getting deeper! "I told him - um - that - um - that I - er - yes - I had done it."
"I'm SURE he wanted to know more!"
"Well - yes - I mean - uh - "
"I know this is hard for you, son. Would it help to know that I do it myself sometimes?"
IT WOULD NOT! That was not something I ever wanted to know about my dad! And I did not want to hear about it!
"Yeah, I guess."
"So, go on, Lenny."
"I told him I did, and he asked me how I did it." Where am I going with this? Think - THINK! "And - uh - thinking he was next going to ask me to show him - uh - I said that was none of his business!" I heaved a huge involuntary sigh after I said that. I felt that Dad would take that as a clear signal that I was lying!
"Son, you did exactly the right thing! Why did you never tell us about this?"
"I - uh - I didn't think you'd believe me - over the word of a priest." I finally told the first truth in this conversation. My eyes filled with tears.
"I KNEW it!" My dad said. "I knew that no son of MINE was a fucking QUEER! Er, sorry I - I mean a homosexual! I don't think I could live with myself if he -- you -- were! I definitely could not let him go on living with me!"
"Oh."
"I came into this talk with you, worried about you getting involved with a girl sexually, and now I feel such a rush of relief that you are not queer! But!"
"But?"
"I still want to warn you about getting involved with a loose girl."
"And - um - what is it you wanted to warn me about it, dad?"
"Lenny, find yourself a nice girl - a nice CATHOLIC girl - if you're going to get yourself mixed up in that kind of thing."
"What?"
"Was there something more you needed to know?"
"Was there something I MISSED, here Dad? I didn't think we were talking because I wanted to know anything. I thought it was you that wanted to tell me something."
"And I think I did."
"You did. You told me that it was okay to fuck a girl as long as she was a good catholic, and that you are so happy I'm not a queer. Is that it, dad?"
"Okay, I guess it did come out that way. No that is not what I meant. I was just so - glad -- to learn you're a MAN! I got carried away. All I meant was - um - that we all make mistakes. If you keep out of bad situations - or relationships - there is less chance that you will make a mistake like that - and if you do - well - it can be forgiven."
"But if I make a mistake with a non-member of your church, - or with a guy - then YOU cannot forgive me."
"Is that what I said? - Well - I guess it is what I said. Yes." Now Dad looked confused.
"Good, because it was my impression that God could forgive me for anything I did. But I understand that you are not God. I love you Dad. And I am glad to know that at least God will forgive me."
Dad was so confused that he was not quite sure what either he OR I had just said. He walked out of the room shaking his head.
Dad:
What just happened in there? Did he just refer to the church as 'my church' - as if it is not his church? I'll have to ask his mother if he was ever confirmed.
Ren:
"Hello?" I answered the phone.
"Hi Ren." It was Lenny. He sounded pretty low.
"What's wrong, Dude?"
"I - I don't want to talk about it on the phone."
"Did you talk to your dad?"
"Yeah."
"Did he - guess anything?"
"He guessed all the wrong things."
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"Dude," I could tell he was pretty bummed - maybe close to tears. "I told you I don't want to talk about it on the phone. Can I come over?"
"Sure, Dude! My brother-in-law is here. Well, my sis and nephew too, but I am so excited to - well, come on over and we'll talk. K? And I want you to meet my very cool brother-in-law. Dude, I'm gonna - well, I'll tell you when you get here."
I wanted to tell Lenny before I broke the news to my family. And I was not too sure this was the right time, feeling his mood was not all that great right now. In about ten minutes he was pulling up to our curb. I was looking for him, so I immediately ran out to his car. I wanted to hug him when he got out, but something warned me that maybe this was not a good time or place - to do that
.
Lenny
Why did it all have to be this hard? I mean I love my parents with all my heart, but now they had unknowingly made it abundantly clear that the feeling was not to be returned. I don't understand this conditional love crap. What... I love you as long as you don't--- It's such a load of bullshit. As I pulled into Rennie's place that was all I could think of. Wow this place is big. I could fit my whole house in here.
Rennie came running out of the doors like he'd been shot out of a cannon, but he slowed down, almost to a crawl, before he got to my car.
"Hey Len"
"Hey Ren"
There was an uncomfortable pause and then-
"Hey why don't you come in- I'll give you the tour." he said, with just the slightest tinge of hesitation. What was it that he was not saying? We learned in Psych, that what a person does not say is almost always more important than what they do. But hey, this is Rennie! My--- My- I don't know what the hell he is but he's mine. So I followed him.
When you walk in the front doors there is a huge foyer, with a domed ceiling and a spiral staircase. It reminded me of the Sistine chapel or something. We went to the right, where he showed me his Music room. It had a baby grand piano in it along with some bookcases filled with sheet music. It also had a sax in the corner.
"You play the sax?" I asked, quite incredulously.
" Not anymore. You know how in middle school everybody had to pick an instrument? Well I picked the sax. Then my dad got all motivated and went out and bought me one, and well- It's been sitting there collecting dust ever since. But hey you play the sax. Do you want it? I'm sure it still works."
"Do you KNOW how much one of these costs? This is a limited edition. It has to be worth a couple grand at least!" I exclaimed
" Blah Blah Blah , I ask again. Do you want it?" Rennie repeated.
"I couldn't possibly I- I---"
"Wrong answer buddy! It's yours. I will expect that thing to be gone by the time you have to go home." He commanded. Damn he's sexy when he gets like that. I'll hafta remember that.
We continued around to the den, which had the biggest TV I had ever seen. Surrounded by DVD players and surround sound speakers and cool shit. From there we went to the kitchen, then the dining room then the pool?! Oh my God! This kid has a pool inside his house. Complete with a two-story water slide.
"Ya Know" Rennie said "I think we can cut the tour right here for the time being. You don't mind if we go chill in my room do you?"
"Mind? I've been wondering when we would get there?" I replied.
So we walked over to the elevator in the pool room. Yep there was an elevator in his house and he pressed up.
"Dude, Your house is soooo fucking cool. If I had a house like this I would never leave"
"That's just it, I don't have a house like this. I just live here. It's my parents' house. And I am constantly reminded of that."
Then the door opened and we were in a little room with a door. Ren unlocked it with the key he wore around his neck and we were in his room. His room looked like it was the whole floor, but he assured me that 2 of his sisters also had rooms on this floor. It was cool! He had a California king sized bed, with a slammin' headboard. He had one of those flat TVs that hang on the wall. He even had a Ms. Pac-man arcade game in the corner. On one wall he had sliding glass doors that led out to his private terrace. On the other wall was a small hole, which, Ren informed me, was the entrance to the water slide.
"Wow! Now I'm a little embarrassed that you spent the night in my cave." I said.
"See, that's exactly the reason I didn't want to stay here. Because then you'd feel the way you do now. Look," he said with a curious sort of embarrassment, himself "this house does not say anything about me or who I am, it is all about my folks. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed because of my parents or yours. They are their own people, just as we are our own. Does that make any sense to you or am I just rambling?"
"No. That makes perfect sense" I replied. And he was right. I certainly couldn't be held accountable for my parents' income, social status, and especially not their beliefs, so why should I hold him accountable for his.
"Sit down" He said, and I sat. " Now you wanna tell me what happened?" He asked.
"Huh?" I was clueless
"With your paternal unit. Your Dad?! What happened?" He repeated.
" I'm sorry. Your tour and everything had effectively kept my mind off that." So I told him. Everything. And he listened. He started crying when I told him how my dad had said he couldn't love me if I was Gay.(Okay, I'm paraphrasing but anyway.) I did too. And then we cried together and he held me and told me everything was going to be all right. He stroked my hair and kissed my tears away. I felt like I could stay here forever. Not even worry about going home to all the mess and all the problems and all the ignorance. Just lay here in my lover's arms, until the end of the world. But wait. Wasn't there something he wanted to tell me?
Rennie
This seemed as perfect as any I could have orchestrated. My Lover lying in my arms relaxing after an exhausting "cry session". I was so thankful for him. I needed someone to listen to, and someone to listen to me. Someone to love, and someone to love me. And here, lying in my arms was that man. I felt, in that moment that I could tell him anything.
"I'm gonna come out to my parents"
"Whoa! Where did that come from?" Lenny asked me.
" Well after your parents saw us, I started thinking ... 'what if that was my parents' and I got scared. There's no way I could have done what you did. Then I talked with my brother in law, and he explained to me that until I told everyone, that I would be living a lie."
"Wow. I never even thought about it that way."
"Yeah, me neither. And even though I'm scared shitless, I know that, of every horrible reaction they (my parents) could have, none of them are as bad as me living a lie. If I tell them who I really am, and they choose not to love me or to disown me then at least it's not on my plate anymore, ya know?" I waited for a response; there was none. " I feel like it's at least my responsibility to do this."
"Wow! What you must think of me and my decision NOT to tell MY parents."
" No. Don't think that way. I love you more than I knew was possible but THIS is all about me. In your situation I know that, in time, you'll do what you have to do. I don't fault you in any way because your circumstances are different than mine. I don't know that I would be able to do this if my father had said all the ignorant shit yours did."
" So when does all this go down?" Lenny asked.
"I was thinking about that and well; {pause} I want to do it tonight and {pause} I want you to be there."
"Umm, I'm flattered. I think."
" I WANT to tell them that we are together -- BUT: I understand that would put you in an awkward position."
Lenny:
"Ren, our parents are socially worlds apart -- I -- I rather doubt that they will ever cross paths. I'd rather not -- I will do what ever you want me to -- as far as you telling your folks. I have a question. Though -- which is maybe even more important -- well, at least to me."
"What is it Dude?"
"Rennie, you -- you -- just a few minutes ago you said -- rather matter-of-factly -- that you love me -- more than you knew possible. You -- I think -- almost said it this morning -- before you left my house. We've known each other six days, Dude. I - " I looked at him. He was looking at the floor. His mouth was trembling. "Ren -- Dude!" I continued. "I -- I feel the same way. I wanted to say it to you, too, but is it even possible -- knowing each other such a short time?"
"Dude," he looked back at me. By this time his eyes were glassy and he had such a look of pure love on his face! "I -- I know exactly how you feel. I -- it's like -- I - Shit!" He coughed, cleared his throat. "Lenny, I have watched you for the last two years, afraid to even speak to you. When I came back to school this fall, I was -- well I was almost panicky that I could not spot you anywhere on campus. At first I thought it was that we just had no classes together and had different luck tomes. I had just about given up hope, and then my cousin invited me over! I don't know if I believe in love at first sight, but DUDE! It doesn't FEEL like I just met you. My eyes have devoured you for over two years!"
"I know." Was all I could say.
"What??" You knew!??" Rennie said, incredulously.
"I meant, I know what you mean! I was thinking the same thing this morning. Well, okay, maybe I didn't see you as soon as you saw me - "
"I saw you playing in the band at the first pep rally in 10th grade, before our first football game, Lenny! Then I went to every football game and every event that I know the band was playing! I could not get enough of watching you. You in that wonderful uniform, which hugged your sexy form so closely!"
"Rennie, did you ever see me watching you at your swim meets?" I said. "As soon as swimming season was on -- I saw you first one day as I was walking home from school. I walked past the pool and you were perched at the side of the pool, in your skimpy racing suit! YOU talk about a sexy uniform!!?? I about convulsed, there was such a reaction in my lower parts! After that I attended every home game. I wished the band played for swimming events. FUCKING football! Sometimes I get the idea the only reason they bother to keep a band is so we could play for the fucking football games!" I checked my rant. "Anyway, I was thinking this morning the same things you were saying to me. Is it possible to be in love with you -- and you with me -- after only knowing each other 6 days? I don't know the answer -- I only know what my body is telling me. I'm almost afraid to - " I couldn't go on.
"What, Lennie -- you can tell me anything!"
"I'm almost afraid to have -- have -- make - uh -- make love to you. I'm afraid it might spoil everything. "
"Oh." Rennie said. I could tell he was disappointed.
"Ren -- I -- I'm not saying I don't want to! I want to with -- with -- everything that is in me! I -- just -- it scares me."
"Okay, Dude, so we will take it -- slow." He said this while looking at the floor again. I could tell it was a hard thing to agree to.
"So, when did you -- er -- want to -- er -- tell you parents?"
"I want to tell them as soon as possible -- but first -- I want you to meet my brother in law. Maybe we can talk to him. He is really cool, and we can talk to him about anything - ANYTHING!"
"Yeah. K."
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
"Who's there?"
"It's Bobby!"
"Oh! Just a minute." Rennie said.
"Dude. Need to pee!" I really wanted to check the mirror -- AND to pee!
"The bathroom is right around the corner. Sorry -- no door -- it's only separated by the wall."
I went into the bathroom. I checked what I looked like. As I guessed, my eyes were pretty red. I washed my face, then started to pee. It was one or those low toilets that allowed for no peeing anywhere except in the water. As I started, I heard Ren open the door.
"Hey, Rennie! I was wondering -- hmmm -- sounds like you already have company!" He must have heard me peeing into the toilet. DAMN! I could have sat down!
"Yeah," Rennie said -- so casually -- "I want you to meet my boyfriend."
Boyfrend! He called me his boyfriend! That stopped my pee! My whole body flinched and it actually stopped my pee! It was painful and it took me a moment to start back up and finish my task. As I finished and was flicking the last drops off, they continued talking.
"Wow! That is so cool, Rennie! This morning you tell me you're gay and now I get to meet the lucky boy!"
"Lenny! Get your ass out here! WE know you're standing in there eavesdropping on us!"
I sheepishly stepped around the wall. What I saw took me back. Standing in front of me was nothing short of a god! He was very buff, taller than Rennie, but not as tall as I am. Blond. Blue eyes. The picture of health. He had on a bathing suit! And nothing else. And I'm not talking baggy surfers! It was like silk or satin -- or something -- and his ample package was clearly and visibly sticking straight out!
"Hi! I'm Bobby. I was hoping Rennie might want to swim some laps with me -- but I see you have company -- a maybe later?"
"NO!" Rennie blurted out. "I mean -- we have something important to discuss with -- I mean we want your -- um -- advice on."
"Hey, little bro, Anything!"
"Hee hee! That's what I just told Lenny!"
"It's true!" I said! I got carried away in their conversation, and forgot my shyness -- for a moment. Then it all came back! "I mean -- er -- um -- he was just -- um, saying - - that."
Bobby smiled one of the biggest most delicious smiles I ever saw! I just about creamed my panties! My mouth dropped and Rennie said, "Purty ain't he!"
"O GAWD!" Bobby said! And it was his turn to blush a little! He also looked pleased, which did not go unnoticed by Rennie.
"And if you think he's pretty, you should see his brother, Colin!"
"SHUT UP!" Bobby retorted! "Colin is my little brother, Lenny." He then really did blush unabashedly. "He's right though. I just don't like to be reminded! My brother Colin really is about the hottest looking guy I know!"
"Hee hee!" Rennie laughed! I'll bet that his cousin -- well -- cousin-in-law? Anyway -- OH! You remember Chris and Craig at Morty's party?"
"What?" Bobby said! "You mean your parents let you go over to Morty's? And for a party!??"
"Well, they didn't know it was a party -- neither did I -- and when I got there, he informs me there will be a date for me! It was Lenny!"
Rennie:
Lenny's eyes got as big as golf balls! And his jaw dropped about down to his knees. "Wait a minute!! You mean ?? Wait a fucking minute!!!" He said, then blushed. "Sorry," he apologized to Bobby, "but -- wha -- uh -- how are they related to Craig and Chris?"
"Chris is Colin's husband's cousin!"
"Are you shittin' me!!??" Lenny could just not believe it! "Then -- he is also equally related to -- SETH! OH-MY-GOD! Then we will be seeing them a LOT!"
"Well, yeah, I suppose - " I said.
"Do you know them too?" Len asked Bobby.
"I think I may have met this Seth a couple years ago." Bobby replied, looking kind of bewildered. "But he was a little kid."
"Well, he's not a little kid any more!" Lenny said. "He's been through a lot! Oh, he's still little, but he now lives with his brother and Craig -- and he has the cutest boyfriend!"
I felt kind of crestfallen. Luke was the cutest boyfriend. I guess Lenny saw my stupid look.
"Oh! Ren! I didn't mean - " He stammered. "You KNOW how I feel about you! DUDE! Don't even THINK about it -- not a second thought! I have eyes only for - " then I caught a glimpse of Bobby with an amused smile on his face.
"Hey, Lenny! Great to meet cha!" And he heaved a hearty belly laugh!
He put out his right hand and Lenny met my brother-in-law.
"So, Ren," Bobby was quick on the pick-up, what did you want to discuss?"
"OH!" I replied. "Well, I uh -- we - I mean -- AHEM -- I want to tell my parents -- tonight!"
"Well, you know my feelings on that!" Bobby said." What did you want my advice on?"
"I want Lenny to be here when I break it to them. We were so close to being caught last night -- by Lenny's dad. And I wanted to stay and face it with him. I want him here with me when I tell them."
Bobby looked at Lenny. He spoke to Lenny. "And how do you feel about this, Lenny?"
"I -- uh -- I want to do whatever Ren -- wants."
"Okay." Bobby said. "Here's what I think. Well -- know! I really think -- especially since your parents let you go to Morty's -- party or not -- that they -- already know. On some level. But just that same, it will come as a shock when you tell them. I think you should tell them and give then their space to deal with it -- without anyone else to invade. This will be hard for them. It is for any parent. I know! I know how my dad felt! But he relented in the end -- and he accepts Colin and Jake now. He went to their wedding in Vermont ---THAT's where I met Seth! -- And he went to the children's' blessing."
"Who's children?" Lenny asked.
"Colin and Jake adopted a pair of kids -- brother and sister -- from the Ukraine I think. - Anyway, my dad loves those kids! He thought he would not have any grandkids for awhile -- with both me and Colin going gay - "
"What!??" Lenny blurted out. "You're gay!??"
"Well, not exactly -- but that's another story we don't have time for right now. For now just let me say, Rennie, tell them alone. It will be better. Better for them -- better for you."
Bobby drilled me with his eyes then he looked over at Len. "Don't look at me!" Lenny said. "I want an army behind me when I tell my dad: With their hands on their weapons! He will seriously kill me!"
"You may be surprised."
"Nope, I won't"
"Trust us, Bobby," I threw in, "His dad would kill him! He almost killed him last night when he thought Len was naked on the floor with a girl!"
Bobby looked at Lenny, eyes wide. "Were you?"
"I was naked on the floor -- with Rennie! My dad saw him on top of me -- only saw his butt -- and thought he was a girl!"
"Thanks goodness for all those swimming lessons, Rennie!" Bobby joked.
"My parents are very strict Catholics - "
"Now THERE'S an oxymoron!" Bobby said
"They also believe Leonard Nimoy is really a Vulcan!" Lenny added.
"Wha -- at? Len -- Lenny?" Bobby pieced it together! "You mean you were named after Leonard Nimoy!??"
"Well, not exactly!" Lenny said, looking totally defeated. "My middle name is `Kirk'!"
"You are SHIITIN' me! Bobby said, "as in Capt. Kirk? Ooo, this is really rich! Well, getting back to your question, my advice is tell them while you are alone, Ren."
Bobby looked at me, then at Lenny and then back to me. "Well, that's just my advice. You have to make the final decision. And dude?"
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Really -- you know your `rents better than I do. Just be careful and be -- um -- kind to all concerned. Hey! Are you guys up for some laps?"
"Uh," I stammered. I looked at Lenny and then back to Bobby. "Hey I -- if you don't mind -- Lennie and I have some things to talk about. I want his input here, too." I looked deeply into Lenny's eyes. They were saying a huge "thank you" to me.
"Okay, guys! I understand." Bobby said. "I'll be down at the pool if you need me any time soon. He walked out the door, locking it on his way out.
Notes: What would you do? That doesn't require an answer. Both boys have some big decisions ahead of them. It's never easy to tell you parents!
Comments are always welcome! Address them to Steve and Ken, s4d@hotmail.com. Be sure to add Len, Lenny or something in the subject line. Thanks and love, Steve and Ken