This is a fictional story. It is based on many experiences and fantasies of the authors. If you are really into graphic sex, it may not satisfy your purpose for coming here. If you like to hear of real love and real teen angst, with a little sex thrown in, you are in the right place. There may be some amount of graphic sex between males. If this is objectionable to you, or you are legally too young to be here, you are cordially invited to press your back button.
Cast of Characters:
Leonard Kirk Harston (Lenny)
Lawrence Olivier Goodwin (Rennie)
Mrs. Harston, Lenny's mom
Mr. Harston, Lenny's dad
Mr. Goodwin, Rennie's dad
Mrs. Goodwin, Rennie's mom
Joy -- Rennie's older sister
Jennifer -- Rennie's younger sister
Bobby -- Joy's husband
Seth -- Lenny's friend
Luke -- Seth's lover
Chris -- Seth's Brother
Criag -- Chris's lover
Jake Smith -- Seth and Chris's cousin.
Colin -- Jake's husband & Bobby's brother
Morty -- Rennie's Cousin
Ursula -- Jake & Colins daughter
Uri -- Jake and Colin's son
Carrie -- Jake's sister
Uncle Jake -- Jake's dad
Aunt Lindy -- Jake's mom
Renate -- The Goodwin's housekeeper
Etta -- the Smith's housekeepe
Shelley -- Friend at University
DeVon -- Shelley's cousin
From Chapter 13:
I could feel the tension like it was a thick fog in the air. Not sexual tension. It was -- I think we both wanted to say "it", but neither could. So we left it at that.
"I think maybe you better go now. I think we both need to -- think about what just happened. And think if that's what we want."
"Okay." He aid, subdued. "But -- I already know -- it's what I want. See yah."
He walked out the door. I turned off the lights in the room and stepped over to the window. He walked slowly to his -- my -- car. He opened the door, then looked up directly at me. I know he couldn't see me, because it was dark. He had tears in his eyes. Of course that made me reciprocate. "I love you, Ren!" There! I said it!
Chapter 14
"Hello?" I just had walked in from school on Monday afternoon, and the phone was ringing.
"Lenny? This is Marcus."
"Oh." I said without enough enthusiasm. I guess he didn't notice -- or decided to ignore it.
"Did you see him?"
"Oh. Yeah."
Now he noticed. "You -- uh -- don't sound too enthusiastic."
"Oh. Well -- I don't know -- um -- we are gonna start dating again."
Long silence. I was about to say something when he finally said, "Ahem! Well -- but -- I mean -- Exclusively?"
"Huh?" I was lost.
"Are you going to be dating him -- exclusively?"
"Oh. I -- uh, well -- we didn't discuss that."
"Oh, PLEASE don't! Please give me a chance, too? I feel so sure you are the one -- for me. Can we meet -- tonight -- for dinner and talk?"
"Are you asking me -- er -- on a date?"
"Ummmmmmmm -- yeah! I'm asking you on a date!"
"I see. Well, I don't know -- let me -- uh -- HRMPH!" I shrugged. "Okay!"
"Okay -- like, it's a date okay?"
"M-hmm! What should I wear?" I asked.
"Ummm let's saaaayy -- something warm. We'll walk down on the beach walk and then stop at one of the stands for something to eat. K?"
"K!" I said. I felt uneasy, but really happy that I was doing this. I didn't tell Ren I wouldn't date anyone else!
"I'll pick you up at -- is 5:30 too early?"
"No. That's good. I have an early class in the morning. We're close enough to the beach here -- we can just walk!"
After he hung up, I started having second thoughts. He got my number from his brother. I guess I could do the same. When I talked to Ren, I just couldn't work up that much excitement. But after talking to Marcus -- I was almost giddy! I suppose that's because Marcus is new.
<<BBRRIINNGG!!>>
"Hello?"
"HI! It's me!" I knew it was him as soon as he said `hi'. Ren had a certain quality that could not be duplicated.
"Hi. You sound excited." I said.
"Do I? I suppose. I'm happy!"
"Oh? Good. Why?"
"Because I'm gonna be seeing my favorite person again! Wanna go out and get a bite to eat?"
Wha - - tonight?"
"Yeah! I wanna see you!"
"Rennie, I can't. I just got home from school and I have a load of -- shit!"
"What?"
"Rennie, I can't lie to you. I have a date tonight."
"A what?"
"A date."
"You -- um -- mean -- like -- a date with a -- a date, Lenny? Another guy?"
He sounded sick. "Ren, babe, we didn't say we weren't gonna date anyone else -- did we?"
"I just -- just -- assumed - - (sigh!) How about tomorrow night?"
"I can't -- too much homework." I hated to ever say that.
"Oh." After a long pause I finally broke the silence.
"How about Friday night?" I asked.
"Alright. But - - Can I just come over tonight and -- say good night? When will you be home?"
"I don't know, Ren. I told Marcus I couldn't stay out late -- research for my Western Civ class."
"Would you call me after he leaves?"
"Ren - - !"
"Pleeeeeeeze?"
"If I don't get in too late - - I'll call you. But -- don't wait up, k?"
"Bye."
I wanted to cry. I didn't know what else to say to him. He sounded so excited at first and it was like I sucked the life out of him. I felt terrible. I didn't want to hurt anyone. And now -- I was bound to hurt one of them.
I started to get into my western civ studies, and actually forgot about anything else. Pretty fascinating stuff. Constantine used the church to expand his empire. It seemed like nothing could stop him. Before I knew it, there was a knock at the door. I looked at my watch. 5:30 sharp!
"Come in!" I hollered.
Marcus stepped in and looked at me. He grinned. "You going like that?" I looked down. I was in a tee shirt and my boxers. "We could stay in if you'd rather! He drawled.
"NO! No, time just got away from me. I`ll just be a minute." I went in and threw on some sweats and a fleece top over my tee. And my Vans.
When I walked out of the bedroom, "Wow!"
"What?" I said.
"You look -- nice." I felt like a bean pole!
"Thanks." I said as I headed for the door. We skipped down the stairs two at a time and he stopped at his car.
"I decided to bring lunch with me!" He pulled a backpack onto his back. "My favorite sandwiches!"
"What?" I asked.
"Peanut butter, lettuce and mayonnaise,"
I stifled the "ewwww!" that was trying to get out. "Let's go!"
I liked walking with a guy who was my height. He seemed to just keep up step for step. When it started getting dark, he edged closer and took my hand. I liked walking hand-in-hand. It felt so good. So warm.
We talked about a lot of things. His dad died soon after he was born. His mom raised him and DeVon mostly by herself. She hated taking welfare, but she did sometimes. Marcus said he would never go on welfare.
I told him some more about my folks -- how they were trekkies and how my mom just went along with anything dad said. I told him about Ren. And how Ren had lost his family. Of course he had heard of it, but didn't know who it was.
When we came back to the house, he walked up the stairs and offered his hand. "Thanks for seeing me tonight, Lenny. I really enjoyed it."
"Yeah. Me too." I said lamely.
He then pulled me a little closer and planted a sweet kiss on my cheek. "I'll call you, k?"
"K" I said, almost stunned. I kind of was afraid he would try something more. He bounded down the steps and hopped into his car. He waved furiously before driving away.
I turned the door knob. It was unlocked. Mental note: Lock the damn door! I came in to a dark room. I left before it got dark and didn't leave anything on.
"Hi."
It seemed like I jumped three feet in the air. But since my head didn't hit the ceiling, I guess I didn't. "Rennie! You can't just come over any time and let yourself in!" I exclaimed.
"Sorry -- I didn't mean to scare you." He said. I could hear the smile in his voice.
I flipped on the light so he could see I wasn't amused. "It's not ABOUT that!" I said. "You were supposed to wait until I called you! What am I supposed to do now?"
"Come and give me a hug?"
"Rennie -- I will be dating another guy -- er -- other guys. You can't just drop over any time you like."
"Is this the way you are going to greet me every time I come over?" He said.
"You just don't get it, do you? We aren't a couple -- not now. Rennie. I WANT to see you. I do! But -- not like this! I have to have my -- my -- space! And - - you can't just -- force your way -- into it. Rennie, please don't look like that. I don't wanna be mean. I feel terrible making you feel bad. I -- love you. But - - for me it's gonna take time. See?"
"Yah." He said. "If I go home now -- I mean -- when I go -- will you call me?" He looked like a scolded puppy. I felt like an ogre!
I beckoned to him with my hands. He came to me. I hugged him. It felt so natural! "Rennie, I mean it -- I love you. But I still feel hurt from before. I -- I don't want to hurt like that ever again. Please be patient with me."
"If it means anything -- I know how you feel -- or felt." He said. It felt like a knife going straight into my heart. I stood there, holding him and barely holding back the tears.
"I -- I need to get to my studies, babe. Did you quit school?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna start again in the spring."
"Did you -- get incompletes?"
"No."
He knew I knew what that meant. He got F's.
"Ren -- what do you do -- during the day -- or even the nights now?"
"Nothin'."
I was afraid of that.
"You need to find something to do. You'll go crazy doing nothing but watching soaps and Jerry Springer." He grinned. I was right on!
"What can I do?"
"Ren, your eighteen now. You can find something to do!"
"Whaddaya want? For me to serve soup at the homeless shelter?"
"Great idea!" I said. "If you do that, I'll come and help out after school!"
"I was joking!"
"I'm not!"
"You're not, are you?" He said, incredulously. "Have you ever done that?"
"Nope! It'll be a new experience for me, too."
"But you have to go to school. You can't be there with me."
"Did you want me to go hold your hand? No, I can't be there all the time, but if you go volunteer I'll come in the afternoons -- when I can -- and help too."
"You're serious!" He blurted out. I just gave him "the look". He looked down and kicked at the floor. "If I do -- will you come back?"
My insides hurt. I wanted so much to do just that. I beckoned to him. He almost ran to me. I held him for a good 15 -- 20 seconds before my lips found his. In an instant we were as one. When we broke our embrace, both were in tears. I held him for another minute or so, and finally pushed him away enough to look into his eyes.
"Ren -- I -- I've got a couple things going on right now."
"You mean that other guy?"
"No! I mean inside me. Part of me literally aches to have you back. I want that with every fiber of my body and soul. But another part won't let me do it. I'm so afraid of getting hurt again."
"Oh, Lenny, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY! I'll never - "
"Ren, I don't blame you. Please understand that. But I know you have been through a lot. And - - I can't let myself get hurt that way again. You can tell me you won't do it again, but words are meaningless. I have to see it. I love you -- probably more than -- well, not probably -- you're the only person I EVER loved like this. But - - well, I've said enough. Let's just take it a day at a time. So are you going to go volunteer?"
"If it will help me get you back? YES!"
"It will help because it will help keep you from getting bored. We'll look at it as part of our education!"
"You're really serious, aren't you?" He said.
"What more do I have to do to convince you?" I said. He smiled -- an evil smile. "Oh no! We're not doing that as a bribe thing. OR as a reward!"
"So you're telling me - - if we have sex right now, it won't have anything to do with whether or not I go down and volunteer!" He grinned almost irresistibly. "Right?"
"Right!" I said. He looked like he was going to jump on me that moment. "BUT!" I said very quickly. "You said that just the right way. You said IF we have sex . Guess what? We're not."
"Oh. Well. Where is this place?"
"You know that restaurant across from the rainbow club?"
"That dump?? Is that where it is?"
"No -- it's worse than that. It's behind there."
"Worse!! I've been to that restaurant. I went there with - - " He got a "cat that ate the canary" look on his face.
"What?" I said.
"Never mind." He said quickly.
"You took someone there that you met at the rainbow club?"
"Yeah." He at least didn't lie about it.
"So there's another thing you need to do."
"What?" he said.
"Get yourself tested -- for venereal disease."
"But we used a - "
"Weren't you listening in sex-ed?" I said. "Even using a condom you can get some disgusting stuff!"
"FUCK! What else do I have to do for you?" I just looked at him. "Lenny, I COULDN'T have -- I mean I just -- I -- Shit! -- okay -- OKAY!" He finally said, sounding defeated. "Where do I go for that?"
"What, the tests?" I asked.
"Yeah!" He was getting defensive.
"I don't know. They'll know at the shelter."
"What!!?? Yeah. RIGHT! I just go say, `hey where can I get myself tested for VD?' Like I'm gonna do that!"
"You'll think of a way."
"You suck!" He said with half a grin.
"And you never give up!" I replied. I've gotta study now. So you need to go. I'll see you at the shelter at 3:15 tomorrow."
He came over and was going to give me a peck on the cheek. I grabbed him and kissed him deeply. "And that other guy?" He asked.
"I have a date with him Friday night." I said simply.
"See you tomorrow!" And he walked out the door, closing it behind him. I almost ran to the window. He got down to his car and looked up. He waved and blew me a kiss. He had to take it on faith that I was there. He couldn't see me with the light off.
Yeah, like I could study now! I went into my bedroom and lay on the bed. I was fully clothed. I turned this way and that. Finally I got up and took off my clothes, and hung them up. I spied a dark silhouette in the mirror as I passed. It was not as skinny as it was a year ago. It had some nice tone in the muscles and only the hint of fat in the tummy.
I lay down again and somehow my hand found its way to my soft mass of erectile tissue. At first touch, it sprang up and quickly filled my hand with firmness. It got so hard as I worked at it and thought of Ren's wonderful butt and swimmer's body. Before I even knew what was happening, I was choking and heaving, as I spent surge after surge of my milky white jizzum all over my hand, stomach and chest. I was asleep before I even had a chance to worry about cleaning up.
I woke up my hand on my again surging hard penis. Only this time I had to pee really bad. I hadn't gone before I fell asleep. Just then the alarm went off and I got up and went in and turned on the shower. I almost started peeing right there, as the shower water mocked me. At first I held back, but then I figured, what the hell, and let it go. The way my hand was holding it, it came directly at my face. Before I could think, my tongue went out to lick my lips.
"EWWW!" I said to no one. "Oh!" I said. Not all that bad. I caught some in my hand and licked it full strength. "Pfthpfth!" Not all that good either!. I let the rest spray my stomach and chest. It felt good, all warm, while at the same time feeling the release of just letting it go. When I was all finished, I remembered that first time that Ren had let me -- or rather begged me -- to pee on him while we kissed. What a turn on! Of course it was in the shower, so we immediately rinsed off and soaped down.
By this time, it was surging almost painfully hard again. I took care of it with some of the hair conditioner. I shuddered hard as Ren's and then Marcus's faces came into view and I shot all over the shower wall. I washed it off, then washed me off, and got out and went down to breakfast with the Smiths.
"I saw Rennie's car out there yesterday afternoon." Uncle Jake said at the breakfast table. How is he?"
"He's -- er -- struggling."
"I knew he would. It will take a long time for him to altogether get over what has happened. If he ever does. My son Jake really went off the deep end when he lost his first lover. He didn't fully recover until Colin came into his life. Losing one's whole family -- especially at his age - has to be worse. No one can take their place. Has he seen any kind of professional?"
"Yeah." I reported. "But this guy just gave him excuses to be doing the destructive things he was doing."
Uncle Jake wrote something on a note paper and handed it to me. "Tell him to look this guy up. He's expensive, but -- Rennie can afford it!"
"Really!" I exclaimed.
After school I took the bus to the shelter. As soon as I got off, Ren ran excitedly up to me. "Dude! This is so cool! They made me a counselor!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! I get to counsel young people who are struggling with their lives."
"Wow! But how -- I mean you don't have any exper - "
"It doesn't matter. The guy I talked to was really nice -- really cool dude. Before I knew it, I was telling everything that happened to me. I was crying. He was crying. He remembered hearing about my family in the news. He said that all I have to do is listen to them and share that I understand -- and that I've been through a lot too. Don't worry, he screens them before sending them to me. I talked to this one girl -- she was 22 and had three children! But she was so sweet! She almost committed suicide last week. Her kids are with her parents while she gets cleaned up. We really connected. I couldn't believe it!"
He was really wound up! He walked me to the leader. "Hello. You must be Lenny!" Arthur said to me. "I'm Arthur. Rennie says you would like to help out after school. Are you going to the JC?"
"No sir. The university."
"OH! Cool! We don't get many from there, here."
"I'm gay." I said, as an explanation why I was different than most at UCSB.
"Heh. I knew that. But you know, there IS a gay frat there."
"Yeah, I know. Not my type."
"I see. So, how many hours can you work?"
"Not more than a couple afternoons a week."
"That'll work."
"Arthur, where can one get VD testing?" I asked.
His eyes widening, he said, "Oh! Well, here." He reached into his pocket and took out a card and gave it to me. I took it and put it into my pocket. Not another word was spoken of it.
I helped out mostly with the dinner shift that first day. And many days after that.
One Friday night I had a date with Marcus. We ended up at my place. We had sex. I thought about Ren. Before he left, he asked me about tomorrow night.
"Can't. Sorry. I'm seeing Ren." I lied.
"Sunday then?"
"I'll have to say no to Sunday too. Too much studying. Next Friday night?"
"Yeah, that'll be good. One of these times, I want you -- in me!" He said, and he kissed me deeply. I kissed him back, all the while thinking of Ren.
After he left, I prayed. "God, please help Ren to find whatever it is he needs to find -- or do. I love him so much! I don't WANT to be without him." Something inside me seemed to say, "Take him back. You'll be okay". But something equally insistent said "Beware! He'll hurt you again." Which voice do I listen to?
Five minutes later, I heard a soft knock at my door. I opened the door. Etta was standing there.
"Etta can no sleep, Baybee. You hokay?"
"Etta! Uhh -- I -- well -- where do I start?""
"How `bout atta beginning? You hava dream?"
"No! Well, I don't think so. I was praying and I got two answers to my prayer." I explained the prayer and the voices I heard."
"De voices -- were dey different -- or de same voice?"
"Well diff -- I -- well I don't know. I assumed - "
"Don' assume. Wich ansa came fust?"
"They came together -- I think."
"And yet yo tole dem to me like dat. Maybe he was telling you, "Beware, He'll hurt you `gain, BUT Take him back -- you be hokay!"
"You think?"
"Etta kn -- Etta TINK!"
After Etta left, I seemed to dream all night long. I can't remember the dreams, but they seemed scary and at the same time compelling. I didn't want them to stop. I woke up in a sweat. I looked at the clock. 1:30 AM. I went in and showered off, and went back to bed. I woke up and got ready for school, then went down to breakfast.
"Look like you make up you mind, Baybee." Etta said.
Even I didn't know I had made up my mind. But I had. Once I thought about it, I knew. I would tell them today.
"What do you have planned today, Lenny?" Uncle Jake asked.
"Besides school?"
"On Saturday ? I didn't know you had any Saturday classes."
"I don't. It's - - it's Saturday!"
"Yes, baybee! Did you hab three night lass night?"
"At least! Saturday! Well, great! I needed a day off!"
"What're you gonna do?" Uncle Jake said again.
"Rennie works this morning at the shelter. I think I'll surprise him."
"Sooprize not allus dat goot, baybee."
"I'll be gentle." I answered.
When I was finished with breakfast, I changed clothes to something more appropriate to working at the shelter. I picked up a bus and headed down to the other side of town. As long as I've been here, I have not been down here in the morning. Saturday morning! If anything, it was more depressing in the morning. Bodies strewn about the park, huddled together to keep warm. Some shivering under thin sheets or holey blankets. Some covered with only cardboard.
I walked in to the shelter and Arthur met me halfway to the kitchen. "Where's Ren?" I asked, cheerfully.
"He hasn't been here for two days. I've wondered where he was. I was hoping you could tell me. I don't really know much about him."
"When did you last see him?" I asked.
"An older man came in Tuesday. Very good looking. Looked about old enough to be your dad. Didn't Rennie tell you about him?" I shook my head. "Well, they hit it off right from the beginning! He was back Wednesday, and they were together most of the day. If I didn't know better, I'd say they hit it off a little too good. They seemed to be almost flirting. Thursday when he got here, they embraced and chatted energetically most of the day. At the end of the day, they left together. I tell you -- I think -- well -- they looked -- both of them -- like they had found true love."
He saw the dismayed look on my face. "Oh dear! You probably didn't want to hear that now, did you?"
"I'll probably -- I'll definitely let you know what I find out!" I hollered as I ran to catch the bus that was pulling up.
I approached Ren's duplex quietly. It looked dark inside, though it was 10:30 AM. I knocked lightly. The door opened a crack. It was all dark inside. The man who answered looked middle aged, but very well preserved. He was thin haired on top and had very blue eyes. He smiled when he saw me. The generous amount of hair on his chest was only too obvious, as he was wearing only a pair of tighty-whiteys. His chest hair narrowed at the tummy and disappeared into his briefs in a whisp of hair the promised much more below it. He had a neatly stowed package.
"Come in!" he whispered. "You must be Lenny. I recognize you from your pictures. I followed him into the living room. Everything was in order. His butt was very VERY nice for a man his age.
"Where's Ren?" I whispered, afraid of the answer.
"I assume in his bedroom. I live next door." He pointed at the open door between the apartments. Do you want to come over and wait for him to wake up? He was up pretty late last night."
"Really?" I said, following him and trying to keep any hint of sarcasm out of my voice."
"Yes. I'm afraid that was my fault." He said.
I just BET it was!
"He baby-sat for me while I went out last night?"
"He what?"
"Baby-sat. I have three kids. "He watched them for me while I tried to woo my wife. We have been separated for three months. The kids were all awake when I got home, but it's okay, they're asleep now!"
"Okay. Thanks." I said. "I am going to go over to his place and wait for him there."
I went back into Ren's place and quietly closed the door. I tiptoed into his room, silently opening and closing his door. I crept up to his bed and very carefully lay down opposite Ren. I lay on the pillow, looking at his angel's face. He grimaced and smiled as he dreamed, and his abdomen heaved and sighed. Then little by little his eyes opened. He looked at me, then closed his eyes again. Then they popped open. "Oh! Hi, Babe!" He mumbled.
Notes: Well, at least one of you thinks I'm a sadist. I don't do anything on purpose to my boys! Life just "life's" them -- as it does us all. Any comments are welcome. Please mention Lenny in the Subject line and send it to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com. Thanks and love! Steve
Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.