Leaving Home

Leaving Home (part 3) by Chris (aka Crispy Toast)

Thanks again for all the great comments, I appreciate them heaps, and it really is amazing the wide variety of people that are on here from all different places, walks of life, etc.

The pace of this one starts a bit slow. I wanted to keep it real, and the feedback I've been getting is that people really like that.

DISCLAIMERS

Health warnings: Using this story as a dietary guide is not recommended. Seek the advice of a nutritionist or GP. Although I will add that fish fingers and McCain's Potato Wedges are yummy with tartare sauce. But I doubt they have any nutritional value and you shouldn't live on them. My references to smoking in this story should not be taken as encouraging it - I've quit since and my health improved as a result. Also note that diving under boom gates is an extremely dangerous activity and has resulted in many deaths and serious injuries, just don't do it, EVER.

Explicit warning: Contains descriptions of two guys above the age of consent doing stuff. The age of consent in Western Australia is 16, the same age I was at the time of this story. - Chris

Part 3 - Pushing The Boundaries

It's amazing how slowly two days can go past when you're waiting for something. The day after my amazing experience with Mirko, it was back to school for me.

"Well, Crispy, nice to see you here. Makes a change." The words of my year 11 Mathematics teacher were probably not undeserved. I wasn't exactly known for my stellar attendance record.

Just a note about my name and nickname. My parents weren't very particular when they named me. I'm told that when asked for a name, they thought through their drinking mates and picked a name they liked, Chris. So my birth certificate actually says "Chris" and I have no middle name. In a way, it was great - when outraged elementary school teachers would yell "Christopher!" at me, I could completely ignore them. However it also created a problem in a large class with four Chris's, and the teacher used to call us "Chris P.", "Chris S.", etc. Needless to say "Chris P." got heard as "Crispy" by the other Year 2s and some wisecrack added "Toast", and there was my nickname which I've had ever since. It's kind of unique, I like it.

What surprised everyone was that I never actually failed anything. I put in just the minimum required to pass most of the time, except in English which I actually liked. That probably had something to do with the teacher, a rather worldly-wise woman in her 50s who I gave up trying to shock after a couple of months because she was "impressed by [my] honesty and openness." So I actually tried in her subject after that and she always wrote nice comments on my work and patiently corrected my spelling.

Unlike most of my teachers, she actually had a sense of humour. She probably needed it, given the students she had been gifted. "I am fairly happy with the video reviews you handed in," she told us today. (I'd managed 70%.) "Overall, very good! A few comments as I hand them back - Mark, perhaps more focus on the character development in the plot and less on simply recounting the graphic violence would be good next time. Mr Saunders, cutting out a newspaper review of a movie and writing your name at the top of it is not QUITE what I had in mind when I set the assignment. And whoever submitted their suicide note instead of the assignment, you'll need to make yourself known to me so I can give you a grade."

My Geography teacher's civil disobedience movement against the electricity company had regrettably failed - a copy of her court summons headlined "KANGAROO COURT" in big black marker pen had been added to the pinboard at the side of her room. It would be fair to say that we didn't learn very much about soil types that day. However, we did learn vital information necessary to pass our end of year exams, such as that the Government was the biggest organised mafia there ever was, and were in league with the courts (and presumably the electricity company) to crush good, hard-working folks like, presumably, herself. It was a great time to catch up on my work in other subjects, she wasn't big on expecting feedback.

It was a pretty good day at school. Even the police decided to drop in for a visit to mark the occasion. They even had the courtesy to send a hot young constable I could eye off for a few minutes while he was taking down the details of the witnesses to... well, I just learned not to ask what had been witnessed, it was often better to just not know. As he filed past me along the narrow pathway joining the Science block with the school office, I managed an "afternoon, Sarge". He actually smiled and nodded me.

My Centrelink (social security) benefits were paid on the Wednesday, so I made a short detour on the way home to get food from the supermarket for my sister and me, as I knew the freezer was almost empty. I made sure to cover all the food groups:

• Meat - fish fingers, chicken and corn schnitzel, a couple of sausages - check. * Carbohydrates - McCain's Potato Wedges, Weetbix, a loaf of bread and a couple of just-add-water-and-milk pasta packs - check. * Vegetables - Frozen peas, green beans and baby carrots - check. * Eggs, milk, cordial - not sure which group they fit into, but we needed them anyway. Oh, and a Mars bar for my sister.

As I was walking home, I felt my phone buzz. Meh, check it later.

I made dinner for me and my sister, and after the dishes were done I checked my phone.

It read: "no worries chris, see u then!"

It's amazing how even a bunch of characters on a Nokia phone screen can be so hot when they're from a person like Mirko. I'd stopped worrying about what it meant that I liked him. I mean, like, obviously I'm not gay. I mean, someone who made me feel that nice, I mean yeah he says he's gay but, I mean, come on. He's just making me feel nice, that's all. He's a good mate. That's what good mates do, they try to help out their mates. And yeah, it's like... stress relief. Yeah, that's it, stress relief. I mean I have a lot of stress, so, like, yeah, I need ways of relieving my stress, otherwise I get, like, too stressed? And then I drink too much and get fucked up. So, like, yeah, I see Mirko every so often and he makes me feel good and then I can manage the rest of my day and week. I have it ALL figured out now. Yay!

"Thx man, look forward to it lol" was my reply.

Thursday came and went, and Friday dawned. I was up at 6:00 and went outside onto the back porch for a smoke. God, it was fucking freezing. And this was not helping downstairs, either... I was so damned hard. I was determined not to wank though. It would be no good to tire myself out and fall asleep and miss my planned meet-up. It was raining softly and I could smell that sort of muggy eucalypt smell everywhere.

I couldn't get Mirko out of my head. His face, his eyes, his lips, his chest with tiny little soft hairs down the middle, his back, the smell of his skin, his bu... um, WTF? We'll just skip that bit. Why on earth was I thinking about THAT anyway?? Geez. I decided it was time for another smoke. British American Tobacco must have loved me when I was stressed or thinking too much.

I went and grabbed my T-shirt, hoodie and jeans that I'd carefully washed the previous afternoon off the line. I dunno, for some reason I wanted to look good today, so Mirko was going to see me in freshly washed gear. Not much time left. Shower, dammit. SHAVE, dammit. Clean teeth. Whack on deodorant. Get dressed. Dig out my mint Lifesavers. Oh, where the hell are my... I thought I'd left them out the... Oh, there they are. Wait, where's my damn phone... oh, fuck, I wasn't going to make the bus!!!!

7:55am saw me sprinting down the street trying to keep my bag from hitting my back or falling behind my legs. Just as I reached the train station, the DING-DING-DING-DING of the boom gates signalling the incoming train started to assault my ears. This is one time when being short helps. I ducked under the gate, across the line and managed to hurl myself onto the platform just as the gates landed. I dusted myself off, ran for the train and reached the door just as it stopped in front of me, not stopping to catch my breath before I'd staggered onto the train and fallen into an available seat. Phew! I was on the way.

I'd learned from last time that this journey was long enough to make thinking a hazard, so I settled into some English homework as the train headed for Perth and beyond.

"Chris! CHRIS!" Mirko's voice rang out over the confusion of the freeway traffic roaring past on both sides and the end-of-peak-hour movement at the station. No sign of the colt from old Regret, although the 9:26 to Clarkson had definitely just got away, and without a small group of very vocal gesticulating tourists.

"Yep?" I couldn't see him.

"Over here!" The large lady with the pram suddenly lurched rightwards and there he was. Wow. As perfect as ever, in a white, new-looking Billabong t-shirt and his trademark black jeans.

"You're so cute when you smile, you know," Mirko said as he flashed his amazing smile at me again, softening his eyes as he looked at me. He really knew how to make me feel good. As we reached the top of the escalator, he picked up the pace. "Come on, Chris, the car's a bit of a walk." We'd decided, I think, not to risk being found out at the clump of woodland where we'd had our first meetings.

"Yeah, probably not a bad thing. Could do with warming up," I said as we headed over the footbridge and up the massive carpark. It was still pretty cold.

"Warming up for WHAT? Oh my God, sorry, that's funny." Mirko chuckled softly. I had no idea what was so damned funny. "Oh I wasn't laughing at YOU, Chris..." I think he'd picked up my glaring at him. "Aww, sorry, man." And with that, he flung his arm around me and gave me a quick, tight hug. Oh my God! People can, like, see! I looked around us. If anyone had noticed, they were pretending not to.

I must have drifted off, for when I opened them, the car was parked in the driveway of a modern brick house, a pair of fingers was gently stroking my cheek and a pair of soft eyes were looking into mine.

"Oh, hi, Chris. Was wondering when you'd wake up," Mirko said tenderly, with a smile.

"Um, yeah." I laughed nervously, not wanting to admit I couldn't actually determine whether I'd been asleep or not. I guess the run for the train had taken a bit out of me.

"Ah, well, better get inside. Our heating's pretty good." I climbed out of the car into the cold morning and followed him.

He flung his keys onto the table. "Hey, put your backpack on the chair there, there's not much point in carrying it around. Um... If you want a drink, the fridge is there, and there's some boxes of like Coke and whatever under the... yeah, down there." Wow, Mirko stumbling over words. I looked away from his finger to notice he was staring straight at me and smiling. God, I was so nervous. I was in this guy's HOUSE. Oddly, I think the woodland clump had actually provided some security for me - it limited what could be done, it limited the timing and it gave me an escape route, even though I never availed myself of it.

"Hey, I think I'll just have a drink of water, mate." I poured myself one from the glass he'd left out, and gulped it down.

"Uh, why don't you come with me?" Mirko reached out his hand and smiled at me. I looked back at him cluelessly. As if to prompt me, he withdrew his hand then put it out again. Once I grabbed it, he started leading me down a corridor, awkwardly at first as my pace didn't quite follow his, into his bedroom.

As soon as we got inside, he shut the door, then pulled me into a tight hug. For some reason I felt safe with him here and I closed my eyes and just melted into him. I'd never felt this close to another human being, and Mirko had a unique way of making me feel loved and cared about. He didn't even have to say anything - it was just in everything he did, and the way he always looked at me, and his tone of voice towards me. He was just so gentle and amazing. How far I'd come since those nights drowning myself in Beam trying to forget him!!

After some minutes, he broke the embrace. "I don't know about you," he said, "but I'm starting to get a bit warm!" Without further hesitation, he threw his jacket on the floor and slowly peeled off his T-shirt revealing his delicious chest underneath. As he threw his T-shirt on the ground after his jacket, he smiled at me. "Your turn." I managed to clear my hoodie and T-shirt in one well-executed manoeuvre, and threw them next to his.

No sooner had I done this, than he lunged at me, pinning me onto his double bed with the weight of his body. "Mmm, Chris...?" he whispered.

"What?" I whispered back.

"I'm having fun. I hope you are."

"Yeah, I'm loving it, eh."

Our eyes locked as he moved in for a soft kiss, which quickly turned into an intense lip wrestle between us as he pushed his hands under my head and pushed it upwards into his. I could smell him all around me and feel his skin all over mine. It was intoxicating. I just gave myself totally to the moment and kissed back for all I was worth and rubbed his back up and down with quite some force. Every time I pushed in, he softly grunted. I was getting so fucking hard that it almost hurt.

After an uncertain amount of time, he pulled away and stood up, "Close your eyes," he said. I did what I was told. I felt a pair of hands fiddling uncertainly with the buckle on my jeans before finally sliding them off. I heard them hit the ground past my feet. As he came back up to get rid of my undies, I felt my raging hardon squeeze past and then pop out. After those were gone, I could hear a rapid sliding sound and some jingling a metre or so away and then nothing for a bit.

"Mate?" I said.

"Shhh..." he replied reassuringly. I was now genuinely curious what he was doing.

I didn't have to wait long to find out. I felt a hand gently caress my balls and handle them for a few seconds, before a soft rush escaped up my cock. I opened my eyes and scanned them towards my feet to see a very focused, smiling Mirko with his tongue stuck right out licking it up and down. I moaned softly, which seemed to encourage him to keep going. His tongue was so soft and hot...

"Fuck, Chris, that's ... rather impressive!" Mirko grabbed my shaft and grinned at me.

"Ha, bet I don't get to look at yours." I didn't know what on earth I'd do with it, but I couldn't pass up an opportunity for bravado and talking crap.

"Hmph! Only had to ask." And with that, Mirko climbed over me, turned around to face me, and then laid down with his head near my hips and his... wow. His cock. Now, like, I don't know, that was just HOT. He was fully hard, but it was one of those ones that went straight up and down with no blemishes even like that.

I leaned over to it and smelled it near the end. I was surprised to find out it smelt like the rest of him, sort of fresh and washed and slightly deodorised and kind of dreamy. I reached out my fingers and, rather uncertainly, stroked it along the sides. I didn't know what to expect, I hadn't even thought about what I'd do in this situation so it was all very new.

I remembered how good the licking had felt, but when presented with a cock to try out myself, I couldn't decide what to do. In the event, curiosity won out and I closed my eyes, put out my tongue and started licking his shaft the way he'd done mine. It tasted so neutral but the skin was soft and I actually came to like it as I ventured more. I opened my eyes and looked up at his face. He was lying there with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open, shivering slightly the lower I got.

I thought I'd be evil and run my tongue PAST the base and see what would happen. As my tongue started to play gently with his balls, he started going into little spasms and moaning. Ooh boy, I was liking this. I could make Mirko react by how much or how little I did. What a fucking turnon! He looked SO peaceful and happy, and it was all my doing. You know, I could actually, like, be even more evil and get him off.....

What the fuck??!?!

Fuck, who gives, I'm going to try it. You only live once.

I had no idea what I was supposed to do. But I'd seen Mirko do it to me and I'd once had a girl do it to me, so I thought I'd try and imitate that. Firstly, just to see what he'd do, I exhaled slowly across the head of his cut, slightly precumming cock. He sighed softly.

Grabbing him gently around the hips, I lowered myself down onto him for better access. When I thought I was about right, I went down on his cock, assuming (correctly as it turned out) that if I pushed my mouth forward like I was going to kiss, it would work.

I had this sweet, hot guy's cock in my mouth. Wow. It didn't taste of much, although I could smell a faintly sweet, kind of odd smell at the back of my nose. I tightened around it and started to play with the head with my tongue and, just for a laugh, flick it around a little like I did with his tongue when we were kissing.

"OH MY GOD, CHRIS, THATS SO GOOD!!!! OHHHHH....."

I started to go down on him. Fuck, I had no idea what I was doing but it was turning me on and he seemed to like it! It didn't take long before he was anticipating my thrusts with hip thrusts of his own. And all the time, sighing and moaning and saying my name. This was fun! I looked up to see his face and our eyes met.

"You're so good, Chris. You're fucking awesome. So good... Ohhhh...."

I kept eye contact with him as I kept going. It wasn't long before he started to spasm and his grunting and moaning became louder.

"OH, CHRIS!!!!! FUCK!! OH MY GOD!!!!"

He grabbed my shoulders tightly and we almost started to ride it.

"Chris, (oh fuck) if you want to... not take my cum... like now's the time to stop, OK??"

I'd gone this far already. I didn't give a shit. I smiled (as best I could) and nodded and kept looking into his amazing eyes. His face was the picture of ecstasy, his mouth was open, his gaze had shifted from soft to intensely sexual... and I was loving it. This was MY doing. Wow. I fucking owned.

"UHHHHHHHHH...." Whooooo. I felt his soft, warm cum hit the back of my throat. I choked initially, but I mean, come on. If Mirko could do it with mine I could do it with his. I wasn't going to let him win that one now.

His body fell back into the bed, limp and glistening with sweat. I pulled off of him, spun around and threw myself down next to him, then climbed onto him. He threw his arms around my body and we stared into each other's eyes, as he reached out to kiss me.

"Dude, I've still got..."

"I know."

We had the most intense, most passionate, most full on, most wrestly long kiss ever. I was an animal. I just wanted to be intense with him. As we embraced, he rolled sideways so we could face each other on the bed.

For no reason, he broke off the kiss and started laughing softly. "You're so amazing, Chris. I can't believe we're here doing this. I... um, like you a lot."

"Yeah, I like you too, ma.. M.. M-... Mirko mate."

He smiled. "Wow, I have a name finally!" It was the first time I'd ever called him by his name, it just felt too, like, weird and awkward before but it was just right now.

"Yeah, my mate Mirko."

"My "mate" Chris."

He imitated me so well that I laughed and slapped him. "Bitch."

"Ha! Yeah, well, I do like you."

"Yeah. In a non-gay way, obviously."

"Yeah. You're my mate, Chris..." he said, looking at me with the cutest smile ever. Sometimes I couldn't believe he was three years older than me.

"I like you too, mate." It was easier reverting to type.

He reached his head over and pecked me on the lips, but only quickly.

"Oi!" I said. I was beginning to like the full on stuff. I got him back, pecking him the same way. Then he pecked me. Then I pecked him. After about the fourth time it just got too silly and we both burst out giggling. Fuck, Mirko was awesome. I barely even knew him but he was my best friend and I could trust him with anything, really. He knew I wasn't gay and he never pushed the issue. We just enjoyed each other and loved life. And he made me feel like I mattered, like I was worth something ... that I was loved.

I had to go to the toilet. That was a bit of a challenge with my fully hard cock, so I had to go standing up and leaning over, which was a bit odd. Had a drink of water or two to wash out some of whatever was left. Was I fucking mad? I didn't know if I'd get, like, food poisoning or something. Like, I hope he hadn't peed before it and hadn't told me or something. But he was Mirko, that seemed unlikely, he was just clean and soft and harmless. And so nice to me.

As I walked back into his room, I noticed he'd repositioned himself so he was facing down into the bed. And fuck, I know I shouldn't, like, look at it, but his butt WAS hot. I had an idea...

I climbed up onto the bed and lowered myself down onto the length of his body, positioning myself so that my hard cock ran up against the middle of his butt. It's weird, it seemed so natural - it just seemed to sit there quite easily and be held in with the weight of my body. He sighed softly as I pushed down and started snuggling him tightly.

"You're liking this, hey?" Mirko asked.

"Hell, yeah!"

He cracked a smile. "Same. You're good!"

I started kissing the back of his neck - gently at first, then getting majorly into it, pushing down with my lips and occasionally biting a little to tease him. He loved it. His eyes were closed and he responded easily to everything I did, didn't matter what it was, whether it was sliding my fingers along his sides, or biting his back, or rubbing his shoulders, or, as I came to end up doing, dry-humping his arse.

After a while of this, Mirko indicated he wanted to move sideways a bit. We shuffled awkwardly across, as I didn't let go or get off although I nearly fell off once. I think I must have been precumming like hell as the dry humping was starting to get a bit wet and lubricated.

Mirko reached out his arm and pulled open the top drawer under his bedside table, and pulled out a condom and a small tube of something.

"W-... um, what's that for?" I asked, a bit nervously.

"For you, if you want it," he replied without missing a beat.

"Um, I don..."

"Hey, just put it on, it's no big deal. You don't HAVE to use it. But it's there and I'd like you to, OK?"

"Like me to ... what?"

"Haha, you've fucked girls before," he said softly and cheekily. "I'm sure you know what to do with a condom! Um, besides... aren't you a LITTLE curious what it would be like?"

I was horny enough that this was actually starting to convince me.

"And, like, what's a fun secret between mates? You've already taken my cum."

Still not sure WHY the fuck I was doing this, I fumbled with the condom wrapping, managing to pull the thing out and slide it onto me the way I had dozens of times before. This was just going to be like all the other times, except I like him a bit more, I thought. He's done so much for me and now I'm doing him a favour back. This will be alright.

"Hey, how does it go in, man?"

"Um, you need to put lube all over it."

"Like how much?"

"Um 20 cent coin sort of amount? Once you've got that I'll show you what to do. It's easy, you'll like it." He was so gentle and reassuring. And, oh my God, he really wanted me to fuck his arse!! There was something so amazing about that, even if I was scared shitless.

I did what he said, and then said, "Right, done."

"OK, what you need to do now is get a little bit on your finger ... actually, put out your finger, I'll show you."

I put out my finger and he squeezed a little bit out, flattening it slightly.

"OK, you can have your hand back." I laughed. "Now you just need to slide it in and out of me a bit so I'm lubed up and it goes in easy. Otherwise it'll hurt." He had an air of confidence completely unlike his earlier hesitation.

"In and out of you a bit?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't there, like..."

"Haha! No! Um, even if I didn't clean up there, which I do, there's normally no poo in there. Don't worry, Chris! People do this all the time and they're fine."

I looked at his butt a bit cluelessly. He moved his legs apart and I suddenly saw the little rose-like opening at the top. Oh, my God. Like, I was just about to stick my FINGER into, like... Um, yeah, just get it fucking over and done with. WhatEVER. I felt a bit sick.

"Um, can I like wash my hands after?"

"Of course! Actually... you know what, get like an icecream container, there's one in the kitchen. Put some warm water in it and a bit of the gel stuff in the shower, and bring it here so you don't have to go far! There, see? Genius." He chuckled softly.

"Yeah, mate, not bad." I smiled back.

When I came back, I saw him rearranging the pillows and putting one under his stomach.

"Oh, yeah, just giving you better access, Chris." He said it as if he was moving his car instead of his butt.

I had to put the lube on my finger again, obviously, as I'd inadvertently washed it off getting the bucket. I stared at his butt for ages. Fuck, why was this so hard? I knew the end would be good but this bit was like, just, a huge, like... oh, just FUCK it.

As I pushed, it didn't seem to want to go in. I thought maybe it had closed up and we wouldn't be able to ... oh, hold on, wait, it's giving way. It's in. Mirko's reaction was immediate, a massive sign almost like a truck's brakes. I slid my finger in and out slowly, I wanted to get him nice and lubed up because I definitely didn't want this to hurt. And it was actually quite soft in there. I guess I'd had no real idea what an arse would feel like inside ... I'd fingered a girl before but this was completely different. Mirko was grunting and groaning and saying "oh, man" a lot.

"Is that, like, enough?" I asked hesitantly.

"Is it going in and out easily-ish?" he replied.

"Not quite."

"Then just put more lube in. Not TOO much, though!"

I wondered, not for the last time, why this stuff had such a weird smell. You'd think they'd sort of try and make it pleasant or something given how it was getting used.

Finally, I announced I was ready. I lowered down and lined up as best I could - having seen it when I was lubing him helped a lot, as I could sort of picture what way I had to push. I was a quick learner - I was always a very sort of practical person and I usually only had to be shown something once to "get it", in work or, as now, in the bedroom.

"Haha, fuck, this is like right out there, hey," I said.

"Haha, that's what I thought the first time too!" He always seemed to know the right thing to say.

Poking around with my dick was getting absolutely nowhere, so I used one hand to find his hole and the other to steer it in. Once I thought I was about right, I gave one solid push.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" It sounded bad.

"Um, sorry, mate! You OK?"

"YESSSSSSSS! Ignore me!"

"Uh... you sure?"

"Yeah-I'm-loving-it-just-let-me-like...." He caught his breath. "Yeah, just don't push any more yet. I'll be fine in a sec."

A bit worried, I waited, not sure what to do. After a while, I more slowly pushed deep into his butt, stopping when I could climb onto the rest of his body and snuggle him tightly and give him a kiss. Fuck, this was awesome! No wonder he wanted me to do it!

Once I'd gotten comfortable and seemed to have a position right, I grabbed onto his sides.

"Hey, man, I'm, like, going to start now, so like... yeah, just giving you a heads-up."

"Yeah, Chrisssssss..." He was in ecstasy. Wow.

I started to work him softly. His grunts and moans filled the room.

"Oh, Chris, you're so awesome... That's my man, keep going, you're doing good! OH my God... Yeah! That's it, you're doing it just right, it's sooooo gooooood ... Oh.... OH.... UHHH.... OH MY GOD you're the best Chris!!... UH!!!"

I felt so wonderfully... connected to him. Every inch of my body was engaged in this, and every time he said my name or told me how good I was doing, I felt amazing and warm inside. The feeling of being inside his arse, although dulled a bit by the condom, was just so warm and tight and soft and... well, everything Mirko was but just more intense and more hot.

I'd had sex before, but not like THIS. Mirko's face was just adorable. His back was so soft and sexy. And his arse... FUCK, noone's going to know so I'll say it, IT WAS HOT, OK? Man... I wanted this to last forever. He was truly the best.

"You're so amazing, ma.. Mirko mate..."

"You're sooooo good too Chris... I love this!!"

I was being bombarded by feelings. He moved up to let my arms slide under him, and I just snuggled him so tightly and pumped him so hard and pulled in his amazing smell every time I breathed in off his back. Thank god we were in here, we definitely could NOT have done this at the park.

I'd lost my inhibitions. I was going for it. He was hot, no wait, he was the best!!! The fucking absolute best. And now, I was fucking his deliciously hot body and his tight, cute arse and his eyes were so nice and it was so good and I l... he was a really good mate. REALLY good mate. Fucking hell.

"So hot... You're so hot, Mirko!!!!" I managed to get out in between thrusts.

"Chris... oh my god... so are you!!"

His grunting was so getting me off. I started to focus on it as I felt the tingling in my cock start to build up.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING CUM!!!"

"CHRIS! LET ME GRAB YOUR HANDS!!"

I put my arms next to his shoulders and he grabbed onto them for dear life, squeezing tightly in time with my final thrusts as I started to spasm and shake.

"OH CHRISSSSSSSS...."

WHOA!!!! It shot out of me like I don't know what. Fuck, it was intense.

I fell down on him, every ounce of my energy sapped. I snuggled him.

"Chris, oh my God! That was just... Please tell me we're going to do that again sometime!!"

That was exactly the words I wanted to hear. "Yeah, of course. I dunno, man, that was amazing!! I really liked it."

"You're a really good guy, Chris. I like you a lot."

"Yeah, same, man." I felt all warm and gooey, and just closed my eyes and snuggled in tighter.

"You're so cute, you know," he whispered softly. I smiled and relaxed.

I'd gone well and truly soft when I eventually pulled out. I was still a bit "eesh" about the condom, I used a tissue to pick it up and ever so carefully took it to the toilet and flushed it.

"Hey, Chris," Mirko called out, "you up for a shower?"

A shower's never the same when you share it with the one you... like, really like. I'd gotten over any hesitation about the fact I wanted to be close to Mirko, or in fact, all over him with just about any excuse. But being cuddled and kissed and soaped up and rubbed down with water falling all over you, while weird at first, becomes something you never want to end.

It was a bit odd as there was a bit of a height difference between Mirko and myself, I was the shorter of the two of us, but he had a way of leaning over or crouching slightly or something so that it never really became a problem.

"Hey, I think I missed a bit," Mirko said cheekily, as he turned me round to face him and cradled my face.

"What bit?"

"Hmm..." He winked at me and smiled. "Don't worry." He kissed me, and his hands started to slide down my back and rub softly. He squeezed some more gel onto his hand and rubbed it in. So relaxing...

He started to rub my butt with his soft, gelled hands. I felt my hard-on coming back and press up against him. So did he. As I looked into his eyes, I felt one slippery hand reach around and grab it. I moved his other hand up from my butt (as I was starting to feel a bit edgy about that) and placed it around the curve in my side. I closed my eyes as he began to pull on my cock gently, and let him kiss me, our tongues fearlessly playing with each other inside his mouth.

After a while, we stopped and he turned off the shower.

"I liked that, hey," I said as we dried ourselves off.

"Yeah, it was rather hot!" He added after a moment, "But then, anything with you is."

Maybe it was just the euphoria of everything wearing off, but I was beginning to just need a total break - not an escape plan, but just time out. A slightly disappointed Mirko let me put on some of my clothes and showed me to the barbecue area outside so I could have a smoke. He wanted to join me, but I asked him just not to, and as he went inside, I carefully closed the sliding door and moved round the side of the brick wall and out of view. I didn't want to be looked at or touched or thought about, I just needed my headspace.

I sat there in this fairly average suburban yard, certainly better than anywhere I could afford to live, looking out over the surrounding house roofs and drawing it down. As I sometimes did as a distraction, I experimented with different ways of puffing it out. I even managed to blow it down with my nose then up again with my mouth at the same time, a talent I'd discovered when I was meant to be doing something else at school and had since turned into a party trick. It did look pretty cool, although it made me gurgle and cough if I did it too much.

This whole thing was getting too intense. Seriously. I just didn't know what it was, what I wanted, why I was doing it, how I'd gotten here, anything. Why did I like Mirko so fucking much? Why did I feel so good when he said my name and when he said I was cute/hot/nice/sweet/whatever? Why was I even letting a guy speak to me that way? Why did I think about him when he wasn't there? It was doing my head in. After I'd finished my smoke I just put my knees up and my head down. Knew I forgot something. A flask of Beam, dammit!

Eventually I went inside. Mirko was watching the TV, but looked concerned, and stood up the moment I walked in, looking to approach me.

"Just DON'T, ok?"

"Why, is everything OK, Chris?" He was genuinely concerned.

"Yeah... nah I don't know... it's just like..."

He looked like he was going to cry. "Oh my God, Chris. I'm so sorry."

"Please don't be like that."

"Well, what, then?"

"I don't get this. I DON'T FUCKING GET THIS."

"Get what?"

"Like, this whole thing. What the fuck I'm doing here."

"Are you saying you want a lift back?"

"No, it's just... Oh, fucking hell. I don't know. FUCK!" I slumped down on a sofa about 6-8 feet from Mirko. He watched me, with a look somewhere between concern and sadness.

"Did I do something wrong, Chris? I'm sorry if I did, I really am."

"No."

"Can I hel..."

"Just fucking shut up, alright?"

We watched some lame daytime TV show that didn't matter for about 20 minutes. Mirko walked off to make a cup of tea, and came back with it. I could see him thinking about whether to sit next to me or not, but he clearly decided against it and returned to his old position.

After a long time, I broke the silence.

"I'm just... not... gay. OK?"

"I never thought you were."

"I fucked you."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, that's kind of gay."

"I'd say blowing me off was probably more gay, but I take your point."

"Yeah, well, fuck, I did that too."

"I don't want you to be anyone other than you. I don't care what you are."

He thought for a moment. "Are you saying we should, like, back off on stuff?"

"No, like... I am so fucked up, man. Just don't make me more fucked up and we'll be fine. And stay away from my arse. Only gay people do that kind of shit."

He looked slightly hurt for a moment, but it quickly passed.

"Hey, where's your toilet, man?"

"Don't you remember? It's..."

"Not THAT one." Somehow reentering the bathroom we'd almost christened didn't seem a good move right now.

"Oh. Um, you don't go to the same toilet twice?" He tried to hide a smile.

"Um, just tell me where your fucking toilet is. I'm busting." (I wasn't really.)

I ended up in his sister's ensuite bathroom with way too much on my mind, and added to that, worrying that I'd upset Mirko. I sat there in my still pretty freshly washed t-shirt, jeans and socks with my head in my hands - which still smelt of him, dammit! When I came out, he'd fully dressed, and I took that as a good enough signal to call the day's activities over. I asked him to get my stuff, and he came back with it. As I was putting it on, I saw him looking at me, but chose to ignore it. But, fuck, I WANTED to look at him, look into his eyes... What the fucking hell was wrong with my head??

"You ready to go, Chris?" he said with a soft, but sad, tone.

"Yeah."

It was a quiet drive back to the train station, and I just said "see you, mate" on getting out of the car and heading for the train which was pulling in from the horizon just as I crossed the footbridge. Thank God I brought my English homework with me, eh?

Author's note: As the Danoz Direct guy used to say, "But wait, there's more!" I think you can understand how I was feeling - my entire world view had to change if I was somehow to reconcile "I'm not gay" with what I'd done in this chapter. I know it sounds odd, but I'd never even THOUGHT about anal sex until he offered, and I liked it way too much for comfort. So would the friendship cope? How did Mirko react? I promise I won't keep you waiting a week for the next one :)