USUAL DISCLAIMER: This story is fiction and contains graphic scenes of gay sex between that of consenting people. If you find this offensive & sickening, are under the age of 18, is illegal wherever you are to read this, or are offended by harsh & vulgar language i.e. cursing, please exit this page immediately. In other words, LEAVE! You have been so warned. This work of fiction is property of me the author and may not be copied or used in any way without my express consent. All persons in this series are fictional and are not real people living or dead.
The next morning again I lined us out for what looked to be a long grueling work day of mowing and manicuring my client's lawns. The first job was a snap and we finished ahead of schedule. As luck would have it, the mower wanted to act up. Luckily, my right hand man, Mark, was a whiz at maintaining the equipment and had it running in no time. We finished the day around 4 or a little after. I rummaged through some paper work.
I was working out and heard the doorbell ring. I pretty much knew who it was. I opened the door and saw Justin's smiling face while I stood there sweating something awful.
"Let me shower that way I don't smell something awful," I said and headed off. I could hear Justin watching TV and just threw on some shorts. Justin just smiled at me when I was coming down the hall. I sat down on the couch with him and he slid over right next to me.
I knew what was on his young 19 year old mind, "Justin, please not right now."
I could tell he was pissed and slid back over. "Fuck Kurt, I thought you said we had something special going," Justin said.
"I know I did, but I have really done some soul searching the last two days," I replied.
"Oh fuck here comes the let me down easy part and kick my ass out," Justin said smartly.
"Justin, you can't expect me to be fuckin gay in one weekend. Justin, I loved and enjoyed every second we were fuckin and suckin but I am not really like that, at least not right now." I said and hoped he understood.
"In other words, I was just one of your fuckin' weekend fuck bunnies like you told me about. I get this shit! I'll see your ass at work then," Justin was now upset and very disappointed. He got up and headed to the door.
"Fine just go find one of your faggot friends that doesn't have a problem with fuckin guys!" I was just as pissed that he wouldn't listen to me.
"Fine my ass is out of here! I hope you enjoy beating your meat alone," Justin said and slammed the door. I was really pissed off now and wanted to fire him right then and there but he was still a hard worker.
The next two days at work were rough and I think the other two workers could sense something was up. Justin didn't let our little squabble interfere with his work and did whatever I said. I tried to talk to him but it was to no avail. He seemed to be annoyed with me.
Friday came along and we finished up early like normal. I handed out paychecks to my 3 employees. Justin hung around and waited for Mark and Larry, my other two employees to leave. I could see something was bothering him.
"Kurt, I'm real sorry I got pissed at you the other night. I wanted us to be together so badly I wasn't ready to hear what you had to say," Justin looked down at his feet as he talked. "Can we be friends and just count that as an experience? Besides it has been fuckin hell all week with you. I am sorry."
"Thanks Justin, I have done a lot of thinking too," I said. "I am proud that you didn't let our little personal conflict get in your way out there. Justin, you are a hard worker and I want to keep you around."
"Thanks Kurt. I really shouldn't have expected you to change overnight. All I have ever been with was gay guys who didn't see anything wrong with what we did," Justin finally lifted up his head.
"Justin, I am sorry too. We both have a little adjustment to make. Justin, I'll level with you I have a date tonight with a girl, okay?" I said and hoped he wasn't too disappointed.
"That's cool. I hope you have a good time and get you some. I'm going out with some of my friends now that I have some money finally," Justin said. "I'll see you Monday then." He walked out the door and headed to his car.
I headed off to the house after locking up for the weekend. My date was a disaster, which was probably the best way I could put it. She ordered the most expensive bottle of wine they had and all she could talk about was herself. I gave her a peek on the cheek and the old standby "I'll call you later" which was nothing but pure bullshit. I was glad it was over. She was too self-absorbed and all she talked about was spending money. I didn't need or want that.
Saturday, the next day, I tooled around the house and caught up on some work at my home computer. I rarely used it but I was behind on my banking and billing. I had high speed for some reason and never used it. My curiosity took me over and I just wanted to see how large this gay thing had become. I was never so surprised and shocked at the websites that were gay oriented. I clicked on a few and felt a rise come in my shorts. I knew I had to stop. I went out for a while just to get some fresh air and clean up the outside of the house. I knew some of my neighbors by name but most by face. I saw four young guys shooting hoops across the street and could not take my eyes off of them. I literally slapped myself in the face for even thinking twice about them.
I logged back on to my computer and was back surfing the gay sites. I didn't know such a cruising spot existed for gay guys. I was amazed at the various types of men and explicit offers this one site made here in my hometown. I did the unthinkable and actually replied to an ad for sex with a quick picture I took of my shirtless body. Before I knew it he was calling the number I gave him and I was headed to his house. I was so nervous and could have thrown up at his front door. He looked just like the picture on the site and was my age of 24. He wasn't much for small talk and soon we had our clothes off. I think he was impressed with my cock. His was just average at best just like the rest of his hairy body. We swapped blowjobs and I was so thankful for the instructions Justin gave me. I really think he wanted us to fuck but both of us had shot our loads. I thanked him and headed back to my house.
I now was disgusted with myself for what I had done. I had sucked off a total stranger and would never see him again or at least I hoped so. Sure he was a great cocksucker but that was it. There was no connection, no spark. Nothing. Just like if I had gotten it had some sleazy ass park but instead was in the confines of some stranger's out dated apartment.
The next day I called my date from Friday and saw her again to at least get the previous night out of my head. I did it because I thought she might let me fuck her and prove to myself this was just a very short blimp in my sexual life. She did spread her legs for me but there was nothing there. I had to think of my time with Justin to get an erection and pretend like I was fucking him to actually climax. I was so thankful that I wore a condom that night as added protection even though she claimed to be on the pill. I couldn't have cum in her if I wanted to. I did find out that guys were so much better at giving head since she would barely stick it in her mouth.
I drove home after having sex with her. All I accomplished by fucking her was to prove to myself I was still straight. I had a hard time going to sleep that night after a literally disastrous sexual weekend. Neither person was to my liking. The guy, who I don't remember his name, at least got me off quicker. I now tossed and turned all night trying to reconcile my dilemma. Maybe what I needed was my old girlfriend to really get my blood pumping.
That Monday work was hot and dirty as usual. Justin and I did talk about our weekend and in no way did I tell him about Saturday night. He went on and on about having a good time with his gay friends that weekend and had hooked up with his first boyfriend again over the weekend. After work I called my last girlfriend to see how she was doing and all but mostly to see if she was single still, which she was. I told her I would like to try one more time if possible. She seemed excited and came over that night. I laid it on thick and heavy how I missed her just to get her back in my bed. It worked like magic and soon we were back at it again. I tried my best to just have her on my mind but images of Justin kept popping in my minds when she lay there before me naked. I found a condom and went to it. After five minutes of nothing and trying to stay hard, I called it a night. She dressed and we both knew it was over for good.
"Kurt, I wanted it to be just like it was but its not. Maybe I should have told you I had a boyfriend before this all started but I thought we could really make it happen again," she said.
"I know. The old magic is gone. I'm sorry. I figured I could perform no matter what the situation was," I said.
She kissed me on the forehead. "Thanks, Kurt, I had 6 great months with you but now we better move on. Kurt, you are a wonderful person and I thank you. See ya." She left and I realized what a big mistake I had made trying to prove to myself that I was still sexually attracted to her. I logged on to the computer and got off in no time ogling over guys fucking each other.
The next few days I gave my workers hell. I was fighting it so bad that I took out my frustration on my employees. I was normally very even tempered but the least little thing set me off. I was now an emotional wreck. I hadn't took a day of vacation in the two years since I started the business. That Thursday I lined out my employees and took the rest of the day off to try and get myself back together again. Mark and Larry were shocked at my decision but I trusted them enough that they would do a good job that day.
I went home and didn't think twice about not working. I wasn't doing them any good or myself by riding their ass all day. I took a long hot shower and worked out to see if that helped relieve some of my sexual frustration. I spent most of the day just watching TV and trying to relax. I called a place that offered massages and booked one later to see if that helped. I admit it was relaxing and finally helped clear my mind somewhat. I was sound asleep before nine that night.
The next morning I was well rested and was in a much better mood. We loaded up our things and headed to the first job.
"Justin, you wanna stop by sometime this weekend and hang out?" I asked as we rode to the first job.
"I might. I'm hooking up with my ex again tonight though. Maybe I will Saturday or Sunday if I have time," Justin replied.
"That's cool. If you can't, I understand," I said.
We talked about my day off and what I did. I could not reveal that I wanted to be with him again even though he would have probably understood. I had essentially brought this on myself and had no one else to blame.
We were all tired and worn out by the end of the day. I watched while Justin got in his car and drove off.
Mark found me at my desk before he left, "You okay, Kurt?"
"Yeah, I'm better now. Being off yesterday really helped," I said.
"I'm glad. You were an asshole the first of the week if you don't mind me saying it," Mark said.
"Tell me about it. I rode all of your asses hard. I just needed a day off," I said.
"Yeah, I can tell it helped. Have a good weekend. I know I sure will," Mark said and headed home. I got in my truck and grabbed a few cases of beer on the way home. Around 1 in the morning I woke up still dressed on my couch and the DVD player showing a blue screen. I stumbled over a pile of beer bottles and threw my body in bed.
After treating a mild hang over, I worked out a little and then hit the shower that next day. I came down the hall and saw Justin sitting on my couch. I was a little startled at his presence.
Justin laughed, "Sorry Kurt I just let myself in. I knew you were home and heard the shower going. Hope you didn't mind?"
"Nah, I told you that you could stop by. How was your Friday night?" I asked after gaining my composure.
"It sucked ass. My ex fuckin stood me up, that dickass bitch," Justin commented. "I can tell what you did last night, Kurt."
"Sorry for the mess. I guess we both had a pretty shitty night," I picked up the bottles and tossed them in the trash. You could hear them clang together when they hit the can.
Justin looked so tempting with a shorter hair cut and a trimmed goatee. His sleeveless shirt showed his skinny but dark arms. I sat down on the couch with him and wanted like hell to rip off every stitch of his clothing. We started talking mostly about work and I could sense that he was so into his job with me. Remembering last time, I didn't offer him a beer. In my mind, I knew I wanted him in the worst way. I just wasn't sure if I had completely turned him off too.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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