The summer before senior year my parents were going through a separation. Which meant I suddenly was free. My life revolved around Halo 2 lobbies and anime. That summer though, I couldn't spend it indoors anymore. I was never an outdoors person and by outdoors, I mean on the porch. Or in the parking lot or in a park.
I was finally 18 but no clue about what to do with myself. I was such a couch potato and overweight but with all of my life ahead of me.
Enter Ted. Ted was also a going to be a senior and 18. He liked all the things I liked. But what he loved most of all was pussy. I was his opposite. He was fit and outgoing. I was round and introverted. We made a pact that we would lose our virginity before the summer ended. And boy did I try.
Our first party we talked these two girls up and got them both into the bedroom. Played 7 minutes in heaven. Finally, it was my turn with the other girl. I went into the closet with her and we talked about the things we liked. I was confused. Kissing her was the last thing on my mind. It just felt wrong.
We got out and I left the party. Ted followed me and made his dad take us home. Ted was furious that I had taken away his only chance. I remember his father telling him there would be plenty of chances left. To not rush things.
I stayed up all night reliving the moment in the closet with that girl and I couldn't understand for the life of me why I was so broken. Why I wasn't like the other guys. Why the female body wasn't fun for me like it was for Ted. I was lost. All I knew for certain was that I was different and I didn't like it.
I was sleeping on the couch in Ted's living room. Like I always did when Ted's dad woke us up to welcome Rudy. Ted's older brother. I could feel something was wrong but I couldn't figure it. Rudy was enormous but when I met him, he seemed defeated and small. Ted hugged his brother and promised him everything would be okay. I shook his hand and his eyes seemed shocked for a second. I might have made it up in my head. The small giant sulked upstairs, his father holding him.
Ted explained that Rudy was gay. And now his brother would be living with them because he dropped out of college. And then we went back to the lose our virginity plan.
The next day I tried to get Ted out of his house to hangout but his dad wanted him to get a job. I was going to head home when his brother stepped out onto the porch and spoke.
"You're Jose, right?" He looked at me measuring my worth.
"Yeah. I'm Ted's friend." I was scared. "Rudy, how do you know if you're gay?" I felt stupid for asking that.
Rudy nearly cringed at my question and ignored it. "I can't be in there any longer. Do you know any good trails?" He asked ignoring what I had blurted out.
"What's a trail?" I asked confused.
"I can show you." He gestured for me to follow.
We talked about nothing and everything as I followed him to the park and into the woods. He was fast but waited for me to catch up. After walking for thirty minutes, I had to stop and catch my breath. I noticed how hungry his eyes were when he looked at me. I felt a rush when he his eyes lingered on me. His main focus was my butt and crotch. I didn't understand it but I liked it a lot.
"Are you Mexican. I had a friend in college who was I mean. We hung out a lot." He blushed and looked away.
"How do you know that I'm Mexican?" I asked. Intrigued.
"Your hair. Your skin. The way you behave. You don't act like your typical young American ." He told me with the prettiest smile I'd ever seen on him.
I didn't say anything. I just looked at him. I wondered what he would look like without a shirt on. Or what kind of underwear he wore.
"Are you okay?" He asked after I stopped talking.
"Yeah." I looked at him again. "I could be your friend?"
"You most certainly could be." He led the way.
I was so tired from our trek that he would hold out his hand for me to grab as we went uphill.
"C'mon, there's a lake on the other side of those trees, we need to cool down."
As soon as we got to the tree line, he started to rip off his clothes. He jumped naked into the body of water. I immediately clocked that he wore white briefs and that now it was my turn to take my clothes off and jump in the water.
He watched me as I took my clothes off.
"I don't know how to swim!" I yelled at him as I took my underwear off and waded into the lake.
"I won't let you drown. I promise." He swam to me.
The water was cold and I began to shiver. Rudy wrapped his arms around me. He radiated so much heat. And for the first time I felt my dick become solid.
I was afraid. But I also felt his penis grow. And in that moment, I felt myself adjust for him. I actually moved my ass towards his thick member. So that it was between my legs. His cock felt so good as it touched the underside of my butt and graced my balls.
He sighed with elation and squeezed me with his arms. I panicked and struggled to get out of his bind. He turned me around and our cocks touched for the first time. It felt right. Like this was what I was born for.
"I want you so bad." He pleaded.
"Kiss me!" I nearly cried.
And he did. His mouth so smooth. I could tell he liked the feeling of my mustache on his skin because he held me tighter as I kissed him back.
"Daniel." The name hung in the air as I let go of him.
"I'm not Daniel. I'm Jose." I hurried out of the water and struggled to put my clothes on.
I could tell he was ashamed. And all of this was very weird to me. I liked how he made me feel but that same feeling of being dominated made me angry. I was a man and I could never love another man. Never.
I ran home. Rudy ran after me. He caught me quickly. He tackled me into the ground.
"You can't tell anyone." He said anger in his eyes.
"Why the fuck would I tell anyone that I liked kissing you?"
My declaration shocked him enough to loose his grip on me. I kicked him in the balls and managed to get away from him.
When I got home no one was there. Money on the table for food. And my thoughts raged in my head.
I wanted to kiss him for as long as I could. He seemed so rough and strong and yet he was soft and tender. I longed to feel his lips again. I wanted to feel his abs on my stomach. I wanted to be naked with him again.
I was hard again. The feeling excited me. And that was the first time I came. Thinking about Rudy. And what I needed him to do.