This is a fictional story about the gorgeous hunk of bear that I met online sometime back. Above average height, beefy and hairy and with a beautiful dick. I have only had interactions with him via social media where he has pages that show him in 'G' rated to 'R' rated images. And a few hot videos of this stunning gingery brown haired hunk. Shane he is with someone. He is a nice, funny guy and I so would love to hook up with him.
Heres to you Ray.
Lasagna Ray (12) There is No one Else...
"I love you Ray" was the last thing I said to him.
After the great and heated sex between Ray and myself, I had said those three words. The words that seemed to be the change in everything. And with little than many more words beyond that, Ray went back home, back to his life and his boyfriend. And all was quiet for many many weeks.
"Fuck!" I huffed again "I fucked that all up"
I had told myself that phrase several times after. The first time just after the wonderful time together. Had I spilled out my affections to a man that could not reciprocate. Or would not. He was with another man after all. Yes they were having issues, but he made no indication to me he was leaving his man. So I was to assume he was going back to him. And me, I was just that wonderful distraction from all the drama he had been going through. Then I received a call from him about a month after our short time together. He had apparently told his man that we had hooked up. Saying that he had to be perfectly honest with the man. But then he told me that the guy was cool with it. That we should hook up in a threesome one day. It took me just a few moments to mull it over in my head, a connection with Ray was one thing. Ray was my dream guy and I did care dearly for him. But I could not share him with someone else. Call me selfish, but I was only a one guy person. And I really had little interest in his guy. And I already felt terrible that I had let my desires take to a place where Ray cheated on the man. Even if their relationship had no monogamy attached to it.
"No. It's not what I want" I said to him "Its not something I do" "Sorry" "It's okay sweetie" he came back with "I figured it. Besides I would not want you to do something I knew you would not want to do" And he ended with an "I would to want you to either"
I found that nice that he somehow knew I had no interest in a threesome. And it made me adore him all the more. But that fact was there was another man in loved, and I would not put myself in the position of coming between them.
"Don't worry about it Ray" I then said "It was an error in my judgement to let my feeling for you let it get as far as it did" "What we shared was wonderful. And I deeply care for you" "But" "I know." He came back "And I am sorry too"
We didn't say much more and then we just hung up with barely a goodbye. My best was a soft defeated 'bye'. And then it was done. I figured after that I would never hear from him again. And honestly I really didn't need the temptation of him to stir me out of a safe place. And I believed he understood it as I never did receive another call from Ray. And for the most part he was gone from my life. I even stopped looking at his page. For it only made me sad when I saw new pics from him. And ignoring the page kept me from any heartache.
"I hope you get to be happy" I said upon the last viewing of his page.
So I cried a little. No I cried a lot. My heart was broken. Even though I said to him I was okay. I could not help it, but I was deeply in peace be with Ray. And losing him to his real boyfriend (even though expected) was painful. And for the next few months I found myself crying a bit each day as I still thought of him. But it was less painful as the days, weeks and months passed. I even tried to go out a few times with different guys. And I even had a few sexual encounters with some of them. But what it ended up was me alone after it. For I didn't want them (save for maybe sex), I didn't want to commit to anyone else. For I did not and could not live anyone else. All there was in my heart was the lost but still lingering longing for Ray. Not to mention I would find myself co.oaring every one to him. Finding faults in something they did or their looks.
"Fuck" I huffed after lay in bed after an encounter with a guy. "Why is he here?"
I would look over at the guy I had just brought home to have sex with. Seeing his face and features. But finding it all paled, he paled next to my beautiful Ray. Then I would wake him and show the guy off. Either pissing them off or just telling them I would call, And never did. So I must have seemed an asshole to them. Truth was I still could not get over my hunky handsome Ray. I missed looking at his gorgeous face, touching his awesome body and 'being' with him. No one could ever come closer to how this man made me feel.
"Maybe I am meant to be alone" I then told myself. "Maybe he was my only hope for happiness" "And I was just not good enough to keep him"
And as it was, I blamed myself for being unable to get him to chose me. That my affections weren't enough to sway him from the man he was having some issues with. Telling myself that I just wasn't good enough. So I was indeed meant for a lonely bed. And I stayed that way for over a year. Losing complete interest in relationship and any physical connection other than just hanging out or drinks with friends. But he was still there, there in the back of my head. My thoughts every once in a while falling on him. Wondering how he was, hoping he was happy with his choice. But never wishing ill of him or his man.
Then one day as I was sitting in my living room watching some show I had started to get in to. It was a situation comedy and made me smile sometimes. I was sitting there drinking wine when my phone buzzed. It was the sound of a message coming in. At first I paid little mind to it as I wasn't expecting any call or message form anyone. And at this time of day it would have to be an emergency. Which I really knew no one that I would answer an emergency call for.
"Must be work" I thought.
I got up and went to bed. Grabbing my phone as I picked up. Heading to bed with some tea and a magazine to read before bed. I brushed my teeth and then plopped myself into bed. The phone was sitting there on the nightstand. And I grabbed it remembering the text. I popped open the text window and saw the text message senders name. It was Ray....
To be continued