Laramie Chapter 23
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Goodness, we are almost to the end. Laramie's story has had a long arc. It isn't over yet, but that teenager we saw in the driveway in the first chapter has grown into quite the man.
As a reminder, the previous chapter occurred in October 2025.
23
February 20, 2026
Laramie Jenkins (36)
Cooper Snow (42)
Laramie
I still had half a beer left. It was my third.
I hoped I hadn't talked about Cooper too much. Get a couple of beers in me, and I just let things flow.
"Cooper took me to work today because my car is in the shop."
"Cooper adjusted his schedule to pick me up later."
"Cooper has been so supportive of my art side gig."
"Cooper is the best father."
"Cooper wants to take me to Paris someday."
"Cooper is such a sharp dresser."
"Cooper makes the best lasagna."
Kent, my old boss, and his nephew had just left. His nephew used to teach at the university in town but had moved away several years ago. He actually moved away because of his husband. Returning to Jackson Bend to see his uncle and other relatives was overdue, according to his uncle. I had enjoyed meeting him. He wanted to return to some old spots he liked that were still around. Daniel's was an old gay haunt, so they asked me to join them.
This was the bar Kent took me to when I first started at the store almost a decade ago. It was nice that it was still around. Since I didn't drink as much since moving in with Cooper, I didn't frequent it very often. Hardly at all, in fact. I was never one to just sit at bars — alone — but there were those occasional nights. Micah and I went out some.
The table next to me had the same three guys for the last two hours. I had seen them earlier but didn't pay much attention to them when I had company. Now they just seemed a bit loud. I looked around. There were a couple of women in the bar — who actually seemed straight — and a pair that I knew definitely were not. But mostly it was all men. It impressed me that Kent didn't even seem to mind being possibly the only straight man in the place.
"Don't give me that! You're so full of shit, Jesse!" someone yelled at the next table. One of the other men giggled.
I looked at my watch. Cooper's AA meetings weren't on a rigid schedule, but he said he would come pick me up as soon as the meeting was over. I figured I had enough time to finish my beer. I hated that he would smell beer on my breath.
The next table got louder.
"Don't give me that monogamy bullshit! Gay people don't have to subscribe to that heterosexual narrative. People should be free to fuck whomever they please."
"Fine. Whatever. But just don't criticize me because Hank and I have a real relationship."
"Relationship. Sure. If you say so. You two are just in the monogamy nazi camp, and you feel like you have to force the rest of the world to fall in line. Well, I'm not buying it, Jesse."
"Am I not able to talk about Hank and me?"
"Just calm down, Jimmy," the third guy said.
"Fuck you, Mark. You're just like Jesse. You just long to be married like a schoolgirl. You two are naive sheep."
"Naïve?? Hank and I are in love. Forgive me if I find something special in that!"
"Love. Whatever. Love is a lie." The person I assumed was Jimmy flailed his arms demonstratively when making his point. "Hank would cheat on you in a fucking second if a hot looking stud came along. That's just how gay guys are wired. We're wired for sex."
Jimmy bumped into my elbow with his dramatics. He noticed me and turned around to see what he touched. He gave me a strange look.
"Hey guys, you might tone it down just a bit. Others are noticing," I said.
"This doesn't concern you!"
"I'm not trying to butt into your conversation."
"GOOD! These two are idiots. They think gay guys can actually be in a monogamous relationship. Like that really exists in the gay world."
"Well ... Jimmy ... I actually agree with your friend Jesse here."
"Oh, you too?! Fuck all of you! That's just heterosexual bullshit."
"Everyone has the right to feel the way they want," I calmly said. "You can live your life as you see fit, but I don't think you need to put your friends down for wanting something deeper and more meaningful."
"Oh, let me guess. You're in a monogamous relationship too."
"Actually, I am. I've never been happier. Sex just got better when I fell in love."
"Bullshit. It gets old after a while. There is no logical reason to commit to one person. Variety is the spice of life. I refuse to fall into that heteronormative behavior."
"Well, I'll just choose to be in love then and let you..."
"Fuck you! You and your sanctimonious type!"
"Jimmy, calm down," his friends said. "You've had too much to drink."
Cooper had walked in, but I hadn't noticed. He stepped up to my table.
"What's going on? Are you picking fights in bars now?" he asked equally amused and perplexed.
Jimmy looked Cooper up and down.
"Oh sure! Is this him?! How saintly you are to be faithful to someone who looks like a model. Not everyone is lucky enough to be dating Chris Evans!"
"I ... have no idea ... what's going on here." Cooper looked at me and then the antagonistic drunk next to us. "But I can honestly say, if there is a lucky one here, it would be me," he said.
Cooper then kissed me.
"Fuck all of you!" Jimmy slammed a twenty on the table and stormed out of Daniel's.
"Dear heavens," Cooper softly observed.
I leaned over to the other table. "I apologize. I didn't mean to rile him up."
"You?" Mark laughed. "Jimmy riles himself up. He's had one too many this evening."
"He always gets on an anti-monogamy crusade when a relationship goes south."
"Or even a date," Jesse added.
"He's predictable, but we love him in spite of his tantrums," Mark said.
"Should we worry about him driving?" I asked.
"He only lives four blocks away. He probably walked," Jesse said.
"I'm Larry. This is my partner, Cooper."
We shook hands and visited briefly. I took the last drink of my beer. Kenton had paid the tab, so we excused ourselves to head home.
Cooper
"Well. That was interesting," I said to Laramie.
"It just sort of flared up." Laramie grabbed my hand. "I had hoped to pop a breath mint or something before you kissed me. I hate smelling like alcohol for you."
"You're fine. If anything, the smell encourages me not to drink."
"Swell." Laramie looked out the windshield. "Up to that point, however, Kent and his nephew and I had a really nice visit. I think I talked about you too much though."
"Good things, I hope."
"There's nothing bad about you, Cooper."
"I'm sure I have flaws."
"Nothing compared to me." Laramie interlocked his fingers with mine on the center console. "Sadly, even though I feel everyone should be able to live their life the way they want, that poor asshole will never have what we have."
I smiled, as my gaze continued looking forward.
"Did you eat?"
"Some nachos." Larry's thumb caressed the side of my hand. I liked his touch. "How was your meeting?"
"Nothing major. I didn't share. Ophelia's a bit spooked about Lydia heading off to college this fall."
"Will you be when Corey leaves us?"
"I'll just miss him. I won't worry too much. He's got a good head on his shoulders. I just hope he has some good friends. I'd hate for him to get into the wrong crowd."
"He hasn't in high school."
"I know. He has his mother hovering over him though. Without Natalie and me around him, who knows what influences there will be. But ... I can't keep him a kid forever."
"Let him be a human being. We can't expect him to be perfect. Although you probably were in college."
"I believe I am supposed to be insulted by that remark, but I'm basically embarrassed."
"Why? What happened?" Laramie asked.
"Nothing. I think I had one glass of wine and one beer. It was a Christian campus. Just those drinks were scandalous."
"No one did anything?"
"Oh, I know of people who were sleeping around. Their parents `sent them there,' but they weren't guided by any sense of faith. My circle of friends didn't do drugs, but we knew of a few who had pot on campus."
"Sounds fairly tame."
I sighed. "I guess it was. I sound so ... so pathetic."
"You sound like the man I fell for. You have no idea how captivating you are. I love your moral code."
"My moral code screams out cuss words during sex with a man now."
Laramie laughed. I moved my hand to hold his finger. "Love you, babe," he responded.
I thought about what the drunk man at the bar said. Would Laramie tire of me? Mitchell loved me but wanted something else — eventually. I had faith in us; we seemed very committed. All but married. Neither of us really felt marriage was the right thing for us. But I knew I wanted to be with him forever. I never wanted to think of my life without him. I hoped he did too, but no one truly knows what the future holds.
"Do you think that man was right?" I asked. "Should gay people not love people like straight people? You know, committed. Do we really live by a different standard?"
"I don't think it is necessarily a gay/straight thing. Straight people cheat all the time. Every couple has to define their own relationship. Straight people tend to lean toward the traditional, but I don't think there has to be absolutes either way. Whatever works."
"Hm."
"All I know is WE work," Laramie said so sincerely. "That asshole will never have what we have. I hope he finds it one day, but he is going to realize too late that he's thrown so many years away. But, hey, playing around might be his groove. I can't tell him how to live any more than he can tell us."
I lifted his finger to my lips. I kissed it like a mom kissing an "ouchie" to make it all better. "Love you. Always."
February 28, 2026
Laramie Jenkins (36)
Corey Snow (17)
Corey
I didn't know if Dad and Laramie would understand. Maybe I shouldn't say anything. Dad said I could always talk to him about anything, but this was ... weird. It shouldn't be embarrassing, but I felt so confused.
I was a mess.
I was content to just brood in my room. I buried my face in my pillow. What had I done wrong?
I almost fell asleep after a few minutes. Then I heard Dad shut the door as he entered the house through the garage. I didn't move.
When I didn't come down, he came up to check on me. I didn't move. I didn't look at him.
Dad sat on the edge of the bed. I didn't move.
"Hey bud," he said. "How was your day?" I felt his hand on my shoulder.
"Meh," I said, with my face in my pillow. I didn't move.
He was quiet, but I didn't say anything further. His hand rubbed my shoulder.
"Is spaghetti okay for dinner tonight?"
"Mm."
"Everything okay?"
"Mm."
I didn't move. Finally, he gave up. I didn't intend to be mean or anything. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I should say.
Dad left. I didn't move. But I was a mess.
What was Aiden thinking as I buried my face in the pillow? Was he mad? Was he embarrassed? Was he pissed? Was he sad?
Was he crying? I wondered if I made him cry. Was this my fault?
I was in a fog. I rolled over on my back. The posters of The Avengers and Pink were staring down at me. They were judging me. I rolled back on my side.
What had I done?
The fact that I was a terrible person didn't make me any less hungry. Thirty minutes later, I could smell the garlic in the spaghetti sauce on the stove. I'm glad Dad added extra garlic. I liked it that way. I had heard Laramie come home, but I still didn't go downstairs. My brain didn't want to go, but eventually my stomach pulled me to the side of the bed and forced me to stand up.
"Hey, champ," Laramie said.
"Hey."
I could tell my expression caused his face to look confused, but I didn't want to look at him. Either of them. I saw Dad turn to him and give a slight shrug with both his shoulders and eyebrows.
Could I trust them? Could I tell them? Would they be disappointed? Mad? Freaked out? Would they pelt me in the face with a million questions?
I was a mess. I could barely breathe.
Laramie brought over three individual salad bowls.
"Let's eat," Dad said.
We pulled up to the table. Laramie had set down two salad dressing choices. Dad lifted a mop of spaghetti out of the big bowl and dropped it on his plate as efficiently as he could. He wrestled with a few strands. There were times when watching him be challenged with a tangle of pasta would be entertaining, but I wasn't in the mood to be amused.
"The sauce smells great," Laramie said to Dad.
"Thanks."
Then it was quiet. I hadn't reached for the pasta yet or even a choice of dressing. I knew they were staring at me.
"What's going on, Cor'?" Laramie asked.
I set my fork down, not that I had used it. I buried my face in my hands.
"Buddy?" Dad asked.
I refused to let them see my face. "You said I could ask you anything. Is that true?" I asked through my fingers.
"Of course. What's wrong?"
"I don't know what to do."
"What happened?" asked Laramie.
I took my hands away. >From their expressions, my face must have had a look of terror. I hated saying these words out loud because I was scared that I didn't know where it would go.
They didn't say anything. They just waited. Their silver was down. Their hands were still. I could tell they were ready to listen.
"Uh..." I didn't want to say the words. "After school ... uh ... you know how Aiden has been giving me rides since he got his car?" They nodded. "Uh ... anyway." I struggled for breath. "Anyway, today he ... uh ... he kissed me."
"Oh," they both said.
"I – I – I wasn't expecting it. And ... I don't know if I did the right thing."
Laramie
Corey was tormented. I wasn't sure why this was overly traumatic, but he was shaken. Visibly shaken.
"How did you feel about it?" Cooper asked him.
"Meaning ... did I want him to? Was I glad he did? No. Please don't take offense — either of you — but I'm not gay."
"So, what did you do?" I asked.
"I panicked. I sort of was ... in shock. I just said, `I don't feel about you that way.' He said he knew that but just wanted to do it. And I freaked. I wanted to run. I told him I would walk, but that made him feel worse. He insisted he drive me. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be in the car with him."
"How did things end?" Cooper asked.
"We didn't say anything on the drive home. Well, he said he was sorry a couple of times. I didn't say anything. When he pulled in the driveway, I jumped out of the car."
"Ah," I said.
I remembered kissing Rex Fitzgerald in tenth grade. He was caught off guard too. What an awkward time. I hated that Corey was feeling it.
"Tell me what you feel now," I said.
"I feel terrible! He's my friend. And I ran from him. Part of me wonders if I somehow gave him mixed signals. But I don't know what to do. He's my friend, but I don't feel about him like a boyfriend. I don't know what to do."
"You don't think he would ..." Cooper started.
"Harm himself in some way?" Corey hesitated. "I don't think so, but he will shrivel up and die inside. Aiden doesn't have a ton of friends. When you get to know him, he ... he's great. He's been a loner for so long that a lot of people don't. I just ... I just ... hate to see him feel he has lost a friend."
"Then make sure he knows he hasn't," I said. "I did the same thing in high school. I thought a guy liked me, and I kissed him. He kind of had the reaction you did, and I was humiliated, but I can tell you the thing that made me feel the best in the situation is that he understood. We weren't quite as close after that, but we were still friends. The fact that he accepted me meant the world to me."
"How do you feel about Aiden right now?" Cooper asked.
"I feel sad for him. The kiss didn't bother me so much as me feeling that I can't be ... that way ... to him. I think I hurt him. And I hate that. I hate it."
"Let me tell you one more story," I said. "I learned just a few years ago that my own father had an encounter in high school. Just about your age. He was freaked out from something that happened with another boy, and he said he avoided him every day after that — and it haunted him his whole life. He missed him and was so sad that he let that close friendship just drift away."
Cooper asked, "Do you still want to be friends?"
"Yeah," Corey breathed more than said. "I don't want him to feel hurt."
"Then make sure he knows that," I said. "Maybe call him later tonight."
"'K."
Things must have been lifted off his chest. Corey began to consume the meal. Things seemed lighter, but his face conveyed that he would periodically think back to Aiden.
Cooper and I took care of the dishes. Corey went to the living room. We kept our voices low.
"I feel bad for him," I whispered.
"I know. Things like this are so delicate. He's such a good kid, but this threw him. He's so comfortable about gay ... everything ... but this put him right in the middle of it. I just don't want him weirded out by it."
"My friend Rex seemed okay," I said softly. "But there was a distance following my error."
"I had suspected all along that Aiden may be gay."
"So you have said," I whispered. "I thought so too. You don't think Aiden would ... do anything, do you?"
We both were trying to avoid certain words. We didn't want to speak them.
"I hope not," my partner confided. "I'm not sure how supportive his parents will be if he needs someone to turn to."
"Should we text him words of encouragement?"
"We should probably just stay out of it, but I so want to wrap my arms around that boy," Cooper said.
I dried the last dish, and we put them away.
"If you let me make a couple of phone calls and pay some bills, maybe we can all do something tonight," Cooper said.
"Okay. I'll keep him company."
Cooper walked to his study. I went to the living room. Corey wasn't there. I hadn't heard him go upstairs. I looked upstairs; no lights were on. I kept roaming. Eventually I saw him staring out the patio door to the back deck. His forehead was on the glass.
It was not a look of someone who was okay.
Corey
I wanted to feel better. And Dad and Laramie helped out. But ... was the whole thing my fault? Did I lead Aiden on? He had to feel like crap right now. I just wanted to bail on him earlier. What kind of sucky friend was I?
I hated myself.
Slowly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I knew it wasn't Dad. Dad wouldn't be so gentle. I could smell it was Laramie. He had a certain scent when he came home from work.
"Man, you're almost as tall as me now," he softly said near my ear. "I thought you were feeling better."
My eyes were a dam. It took every bit of strength I had not to cry. I refused to cry. I was going to be an adult and decreed that I would not cry a tear. Laramie turned me. His look was so loving and so compassionate. My bottom lip quivered. I was a mess.
He held me again. "Hey. Hey. It's okay."
"I didn't tell you everything," I whimpered.
He pulled back to look at me.
"Not here," I whispered. I motioned my head in the direction of my room. He nodded, understanding.
Quietly we went upstairs. Laramie lay on the bed. I gently shut the door. I placed my body stretched out alongside his. I stared at the ceiling, but I could tell he rolled on his side. He faced me. I couldn't look at him.
I had always found it easier to talk to Laramie than Dad — and certainly Mom. I wasn't sure why that was, but ... Laramie was easy to trust. I never felt judged by him. I didn't feel like he had expectations set for me. I only felt loved by him.
"If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell Dad?"
Laramie hesitated. "I ... I can't promise that. You're not in trouble or any danger, are you?"
"No. Nothing like that."
"You can trust me then. I promise," Laramie said sincerely.
"What I didn't tell you all is ... when Aiden kissed me ... we were naked."
"Oh." I had thrown him. "Wow."
"Please don't tell Dad."
"Go on."
"Remember the tornado two years ago?"
"Yeah."
"Aiden stayed with us a week. We became closer. We ... we can talk about anything. I'm kind of surprised he never shared that he is ... you know." I wondered if he even knew he was gay our freshman year. "Anyway, we got to talking. He asked if I ever ... jacked off."
"Um hm."
"We did the last night he stayed with us. I felt weird about it, but ... we both felt more grown up being able to ... I guess talk about it. We don't do it a lot, but there are times, when we know it's private that we have ... done it."
"How do you feel about it? Did you like doing it?"
"I guess. Yeah. Yes, it was ... our thing." I suddenly didn't like Laramie looking at me. I bumped him on the hip. "Scoodover."
He moved a foot toward the edge. I turned to place my head on his stomach.
"You're almost too tall to do this now."
My legs stuck out over the bed further than when we first did this in years past, but it was still fine. My feet were on the floor.
"Whenever I slept over one time, we both knew we were going to do it. I looked forward to it kinda. But NOW I wonder if I was leading him on. Were those mixed signals? Was I encouraging him to have feelings for me? I feel like this whole thing is my fault."
"I wouldn't say that," Laramie said. "It's not that uncommon for young boys to ... explore. I have no idea if it is very common, but I'm sure it isn't rare."
"Did you?" I asked.
"I did. But ... keep in mind, I'm gay."
I laughed, which made him laugh. I could feel his belly vibrate under my head.
"Why don't you give him a call. You two can work this out. Just keep in mind that it took courage for him to kiss you. That was kind of brave. I'm sure he was scared. He took a risk."
"I guess. You're probably right. It was brave."
Laramie's hands pushed me off his body. He walked around. We both knew we needed a hug.
"Thanks for listening," I said into his shoulder. "Love you."
"Love you back, champ."
Laramie left the room but shut the door behind him. I picked up my phone.
"Hey," I texted Aiden.
I put the phone next to me on the bed. Nothing. It was a silent brick.
He hated me. I ruined our friendship. He trusted me, and I ran from him. I sucked. He wouldn't look at me tomorrow. Mom and Dad would have to start picking me up again. He thought I was an asshole. I was a horrible person.
My phone gave a "ker-tink."
"Hey."
"I'm sorry," I replied.
"Me too."
I called him. What if he didn't want to answer? What if all we could do was text for the rest of our lives? What if he didn't want to be friends anymore?
"Hi," he answered.
I breathed. I needed to hear his voice. Everything I had done wrong in the past few hours was now better. I hoped.
"I'm glad you picked up."
"I'm sorry. Corey. I'm so sorry that I just ... forced that on you."
"I'm okay."
"I'm sure it grossed you out."
I hadn't thought about that. I was so worried that I had led him on and gave him the wrong impression, I had never really thought about the kiss itself.
"Actually ..." I started. "No. It was ... fine. I felt so bad that I thought you thought I was gay and we wanted to be boyfriends and I'm not that way and I gave you the wrong ideas and we were naked and I knew I was wrong and I messed it up. I'm sorry I messed up our friendship."
"You didn't mess it up. I did."
"We were naked, Aiden. It was the middle of the afternoon. I gave you the wrong idea."
"It's my fault. Don't worry about it." Then Aiden got quiet. I wasn't sure if he wanted me to say something. Finally, he asked, "Were you surprised?"
"That you liked boys or that you liked me?"
"Either, I guess."
"First, I wasn't grossed out. I live with two gay men, remember?" He snickered. "But it was over so fast, and I just ... panicked. I wasn't sure what was supposed to happen next, but I knew I wasn't feeling what you were feeling and ... it scared me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to bail on you. I didn't listen to anything you may have wanted to say."
"I just wanted the Earth to swallow me up."
I laughed. "If it makes you feel any better, the kiss didn't bother me. I guess I should be flattered. I just freaked because I couldn't move because ... well, it was all over my chest."
"Mine too."
"Yeah, but you're thick. I'm all drippy."
"Think anyone else at our school can talk like this?"
I laughed. Then it got serious.
"Aiden, can we still be friends? If I don't like you as a boyfriend, are you still able to be my friend?"
"Yes, please. If I can ... say nice things for a minute, you're really something, Corey."
"Me?"
"Oh please. You're as good looking as your dad and you're so nice and ... you're a good friend. I've wanted to kiss you for months, but I know you have a girlfriend. I was just sort of kind of caught up in the moment. Yes, please keep being my friend."
"That's okay with me just being a friend?"
"Trust me. I get it. I'm okay. I can wish, for sure, but I understand where we are."
"If I hurt you, I'm sorry."
"Me too. Can I drive you home after school tomorrow?"
"Absolutely."
June 29, 2026
Laramie Jenkins (37)
Cooper Snow (42)
Cooper
I looked at Corey. He and Brad were discussing something. It was funny how they were now the same height. It seemed like Corey grew an inch a week. What would he be like when he entered college? At least I had him one more year. He was excelling in school so well. I think his good grades gave him some bargaining leverage with Natalie in regard to the length of his hair. He hadn't cut it in months. I knew she hated it, but ... he was a good kid with good grades. She and Corey seemed to be getting along better. Perhaps this growth spurt was absorbing all his raging hormones. He still had his moments, but there was a kindness returning to him we hadn't seen as frequently lately.
"Brad's in love," Corey said.
I noticed a creamer in his coffee.
"You haven't put anything in your coffee in a while. What did you go for?"
"Vanilla cream. Brad's in love," Corey repeated.
"Well, good for him," Laramie said.
Mitchell walked in. He ordered something at the counter. He joined the five of us.
"Alone again," said Emory.
"You know his schedule," Mitchell said. "Sunday morning coffee is my thing."
A brief quietness came over the table.
"How can you tell when you're in love?" Corey asked the table.
"When you feel comfortable farting in front of each other," Laramie said.
"Lar – a – MEEE! That's a terrible answer," I scolded.
"But not too far from the truth," Emory noted.
All this made Corey laugh for a long time.
"Why do you ask, Corey? Are things serious with your latest gal?" I followed.
"May and I have only been seeing each other for a couple of months. Everyone was so ready for school to be out for the summer. But now weeks into it, I miss seeing her every day. I'm fine not seeing some of my friends until fall but ..." Corey stared into his mug. "I miss her."
"OOooooOOOOooo," Mitchell and Emory teased.
"Stop that," I chided. "That certainly is a beginning sign of it."
Brad delivered a mocha latte to Mitchell.
"How's the new job, Brad?" Emory asked.
"I love it. It's good for me. I miss it here, but I still have my Sunday shift. I couldn't miss out seeing your faces after all."
"You could still visit with us as friends," I pointed out.
"I love you, Cooper Snow. You always know what to say."
"Everyone loves Cooper," Mitchell said sarcastically.
Laramie gave him a look.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that as a jab, Larry. That's ... that's all in the past."
"He's right though. Even I had a crush on your father after we met. Fleeting, but he's a wonderful man who at the time felt no one could ever love him," Emory chimed in.
"Ew. You're like ... you could be his grandfather," my son said.
The table roared.
"I'm not 85, kid!!! Jesus Christ. How old do you think I am? But yeah, I could be his father, but ... man. Anyway, as you so humiliatingly point out, I was way too old."
"Did you really feel that way, Cooper?" Don asked. "Why did you feel on one could love you?"
This was an awkward topic. It had to make Mitchell feel uncomfortable.
"It's a discussion for a different time," I said.
"He's saying that because I'm here." Mitchell turned to Don. "When I cheated on Cooper, it hurt him deeply."
"Here. Let me tell it," I said. "Mitchell taught me so many things. He taught me the gay culture, how to love a man, how to fit in. Without him, I felt so adrift. I felt like no one would want an inexperienced alcoholic who was divorced with a kid. I felt like an outsider."
"That's sad," Corey said.
"Are you okay hearing all this?" Laramie asked Corey.
"Eh. I lived through most of it. I hated seeing Dad hurt. Mitchell too. Dad was getting so much better through AA. I didn't think it was fair that he was so sad."
"I hated causing your father pain," Mitchell said. "I loved him, and I did something foolish. Please learn a lesson from my mistake."
Corey rubbed Mitchell's arm to show empathy.
"Mitch and I are in a good place now. The two of us will always have love for each other in our hearts."
"Indeed," he said.
Our pain had subsided over the past few years. Hopefully the caring had not. Mitch was so important in my life. It would have been truly regrettable if our friendship had ended. Some spots are still tender, but we have a friendship again. And I was grateful he wasn't alone.
Brad set down three raspberry kolaches with six forks. "Voila! They're divine."
"My treat today, gentlemen," Don said.
We all audibly approved.
Laramie
"If I can get back to your question, Corey, I knew when Cooper walked into the room and my heart did backflips that I had fallen for him."
"Ditto," said Mitch.
"But ... every year, every month, every week, every day that we are together ... I know he completes my world. All couples need their moments apart, but that's what makes the time together so incredible. Every time we do something together, it's better because he is there with me. Being able to tell someone anything — anything on your mind or heart — that's a connection. You don't have to have secrets. Your father and I don't. We can tell each other anything, and we know it will be okay. When you hold them and you know all is right with the world, you know it's love."
"Aw, that's so incredibly sweet," Don said.
"And nauseating with sugar-coated sprinkles," Emory added. Don thwacked his lover in the head with the folded newspaper for his crack at my statement.
"That was a bit mushy," Corey said. "But I do feel a lot of that when I'm with May."
"Crushes can turn into love and love can turn into relationships," I said. "When you don't think you can live without a person, then you know it's love."
Fuck. I hated twisting the knife into Mitchell. He accepted that he lost Cooper because of his own mistakes, but I didn't want to come off as cruel.
"All the men at this table are in love," Cooper told his son. "When the other person makes you a better person, that can be love."
"None of you are married," Corey said.
"Yet," said Don.
"Don't even start," Emory said. "We can still be forever without a sheet of paper."
Brad sat down with us for a few minutes and told us all about his new love. I think the freshness of his relationship really rubbed off on Corey. Perhaps he answered the question the best of all. He all but radiated light. Everyone was happy for him.
—
That evening, Coop and I crawled into bed. I expected a kiss, but he just stared at the ceiling. I looked at his expression. It seemed off.
"You okay?"
Cooper didn't answer.
"You know how you told Corey we didn't have secrets from one another?"
"Yeah."
"That's not completely true."
That threw me for a moment. Cooper and I had been a couple for three and a half years. I couldn't fathom what he might not have ever told me.
"Babe?"
"I ... I don't know if I can say all this. But ..." he turned to me with the saddest puppy eyes. "I don't want to have secrets from you."
"Hm? After all these years? What is it, babe?"
Cooper almost shuddered. I held him tight. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."
"I don't want you to think bad of me."
"Remember all those things I said this morning? All those things that proved I knew I was in love with you? It's all true. Nothing will change that."
"This might."
I squeezed him harder. "Unless you gunned down my staff or burned down my store, I can probably handle it."
Cooper buried his face into my chest. He whimpered just a moment until I heard him start to cry.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's all right. I'm here. I'm always here."
"Please don't think bad of me," he cried. I felt the wetness in my chest hair. It's rare that I saw Cooper unsettled like this. What on Earth could torment him to this degree?
He leaned up, grabbed a tissue from his nightstand, blew snot into it and dabbed his eyes. The tissue was tossed next to the box.
"Remember..." He coughed and caught his breath. "Remember when I said Mitchell used to like sex quiet when we started seeing each other?"
"Yeah."
"Well. Something happened to change all that."
"Oh?" I was immediately curious and confused and intrigued. It was something about Cooper I didn't know.
"Emory and I had just started having coffee on Sundays. Well, it was a few months into it. We were fairly open about ... things. I learned to not keep everything about my life so private. I mean, I wasn't Lance — for sure — but ... I told him that. About Mitch. The quiet thing. Then ... shortly thereafter ... I can't really explain how it all happened. It was supposed to be a birthday gift — and I know that makes absolutely no sense — but he wanted me to have the opportunity to ... experience being loud and ..."
"Cooper, did you have sex with Emory?"
His face was buried in my chest again.
"I did. And I'm so ashamed. It freaked me out so bad. And – and – and don't think I just jumped into bed with him when he asked. I kept turning him down and I don't know how it all happened but I eventually just ... did it."
"Hmm."
He turned his head and placed his ear on my nipple. "I just got intrigued for a moment but I regret doing it but being the loudest I'd ever been during sex was sort of liberating and it was sort of eye-opening even though I felt horrible for doing it and it so wasn't me even though I feel I'm better in bed but I was a horrible person for doing it and I never should have and-"
"Hey. Hey. Breathe, honey. Breathe." I kissed the top of his head.
Cooper rolled onto his back with my arm still around him.
"Please don't think bad of me. I'm really sorry."
Cooper
I was humiliated. Even saying all that stuff out loud was so embarrassing.
"Coop. It's okay. It's not like you cheated on me. This was months before we started seeing each other. We both have sexual partners in our past."
"I know. I just felt like I threw my morals out the window."
Laramie leaned over and slipped his other hand underneath the waistband of my boxers.
"I kind of like loud Cooper," he whispered into my ear.
My cock immediately started to lengthen in his grasp.
"In fact, I know I love loud Cooper."
"Mmmmmm," I hummed, almost fully erect.
His strokes quickly had my flesh completely hard. Completely long. Completely complicit.
I lightly moaned as he jerked me.
"That's it," he barely whispered.
A minute into it, I still had my boxers on, but I moaned a little louder. I listened to the fabric of my undergarment rustled with his fist underneath.
"Be loud," he whispered, and his tongue toyed with my ear.
Three minutes into it I was groaning. I often cussed when we made love, but this was all just sounds. Groans, moans, calls.
"Yeah. Loud," he said, still near my ear.
Five minutes into it, his arm was working my cock furiously. My body started to pulse and gyrate in his grip.
"Oooooohhhh. Laramie. Yeeeeaaaahhhh."
"Louder," he said.
Seven minutes into it, my dick was a branding iron. Hot. Hard. Glowing red. Smoldering.
I groaned so loudly. "Baby, yeah. Keep going. Keep going." I howled in sexual gratification.
Eight minutes into it, Laramie kissed my neck. His arm was still a churning dynamo sending electric current into my manhood, into the entirety of my physical realm. I whined and moaned and squealed and cried out thanks to the sexual gods simply by using vowels of the alphabet.
"I love you so much, Cooper," he cried to me.
I screamed.
"I love you, Cooper," he said in response.
Ten minutes into it I was at the boiling point. I didn't know I had held out so long, but the pleasure in my groin was building to an incredible release.
"Laramie! Yes. Oh yeah. Oh yeah oh yeah. Oh babe. UUUNGGGHHHH!"
I lifted my head to see. My boxers were a war zone with his fist attacking my cock. I knew I was coming all inside them. I looked for wet spots to materialize and they did as my husband didn't stop. I screamed the entire time of my orgasm. And didn't stop. I didn't stop coming; I didn't stop screaming. Then my climax stopped. Moments after my cock had stopped pumping its contents, I still moaned. I was still loud. It took me a long time to come down.
And then my head hit the pillow and his arm again.
Partner. Not husband, partner. Hm. Why had I thought that?
Laramie tried to find as much cum as he could inside my boxers and rub it all over my penis.
"Don't beat yourself up, babe. Loud Cooper is one of the greatest gifts God has given me." He chuckled. "But Cooper Snow is the greatest of all."
He pulled his sticky hand from my underwear. He licked the side of his hand as he went to the bathroom. "Want a washcloth?"
"Nah. I'll get up," I said.
My partner sat on the edge of the sink, watching me wipe sticky male liquid from my genitals. My penis had already retreated to its short length.
"Fuck, you're beautiful," he said.
"Not in this state," I muttered.
Laramie forcibly grabbed my head and pulled me into a powerful kiss. I dropped the washcloth and wrapped my arms around him. We kissed passionately.
"Thank you," I softly said as we pulled our lips apart.
"What for?"
"For being understanding. For not thinking the worst of me. For not looking down on me."
"This moral quandary you have going on just makes you more attractive."
"All I ask is that you don't ever mention it to Emory. Okay? Promise?"
"I promise. It's just between me and you. And Corey."
"Noooo!" I protested.
Laramie laughed. "I'm kidding."
I picked up the washcloth and snapped it at him. "I don't want Emory's privacy invaded. I don't know if he's ever told Don."
"Hell, I'd brag if I ever bagged a young, good-looking stud like you in the sack."
"He didn't bag me. I agreed."
We crawled back into bed.
"Why did you keep that a secret for years?" Laramie asked.
"I ... I don't know. There was nothing really to cause it to be brought up. It didn't really make any sense to just ... tell it. But today ... when you told Corey we didn't keep secrets from each other, I felt like I was ... failing your trust. I wanted you to truly know that I ... I love you with every part of me. I will never hold back anything. And I'm sorry that I kept that inside. I didn't want you to think bad of me."
We kissed once more.
"Do you feel better that it's now off your chest?" he asked.
The true answer was no.
"At the moment, I'm still a bit mortified at the confession." I turned to him. "But you have a way of ... a wonderful way of making the world okay. I'm sure in the days ahead I will feel better knowing that I don't have to hide anything at all."
"Absolutely nothing," he said, as I curled up into his arms once more.
I then contemplated how to bring my partner off.
* * * *
Next: The FINAL chapter.
Email: timothylane414@gmail.com