Laramie Chapter 22
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As a reminder, the previous chapter ended in September 2024.
22
February 2025
Laramie (35)
Cooper (41)
Laramie
"You got a cat!" Natalie said, as she entered our front door.
"We did," I said. "Cooper allowed me to get one."
"Sweet. What's its name?"
"Destiny."
"Interesting."
"I once told Cooper that if I had a boat or racehorse that I'd name it Destiny because I felt it was destiny that the two of us found each other."
"Aw."
"Getting a cat was easier than a boat or a racehorse."
Natalie chuckled, scratching Destiny behind the ears.
"Can we talk?" she said, totally shifting the mood.
"What is it?" Cooper said, looking concerned.
"Corey."
"What's wrong!?" I said, jumping in a little too quickly.
"He's fine. He's just ... I don't know. We aren't meshing well."
"Oh?" Cooper said.
"Nothing I do seems to be right. I'm always `embarrassing' him," she said using air quotes. We bicker. He's just so surly lately."
"He's sixteen," I said.
"I know. The other day he called me extra. Extra!"
"What does that even mean?" asked Cooper.
"I don't know, but when he says, `Mom, you're so extra,' it totally pisses me off."
I suppressed my desire to laugh. Natalie was serious about her feelings, no matter how humorous they sounded. I didn't like hearing of Corey being impolite. He's a great kid, but he's growing like crazy, and his body was spitting out hormones faster than he knew what to do with them. I could only imagine what Cooper was thinking.
"Things are good between him and Daryl, right?" Cooper asked.
"I guess so. Daryl is very nice to him, and Corey doesn't really lash out at him. Just me."
We noticed her eyes starting to water.
"Hey! He loves you. He's just at that stage," Cooper said.
"I know. I guess. It ... it just still hurts."
"Do you want me to talk to him?"
"Well, that's not why I'm here."
"I don't understand."
Natalie looked at me, sheepishly. Then she turned to Cooper. "I'm sorry to say it this way, but ... five years ago you were a drunk."
"I was," Cooper softly admitted.
"In the divorce, it was totally appropriate for me to take custody. But – but – but you've got your life together, and he seems happier here, and I'm wondering if I'm robbing him of time with his father and ... oh lord, I sound like a horrible mother just saying that. I'm not trying to pawn him off because he's driving me crazy. I just want him to be happy and ... and ..." Natalie started to weep. "I don't think he's happy living with me."
"Stop that," Cooper said. "He's all teenage hormones right now. It's not like he's sunshine and rainbows over here all the time."
"But he loves you, and he loves Larry too."
I smiled hearing her say that.
Cooper
Where was my ex-wife going with this? Was she about to ask for Corey to live with us? I'd jump at that chance, but that would be a big life change for my partner.
"What are you suggesting here, Nat?"
"Can ... can you talk to him to see what he wants? I don't want him to leave the house, but I don't want him to stay if he is unhappy."
Destiny jumped in Natalie's lap. It caused her to briefly smile. She petted it, which I think comforted her in some small way. She focused on the soft fur. I swore I could almost see her exhale.
We talked about various options that we could all agree on. Corey was to stay with us this weekend. We said we would sit down and discuss things with him. This unsettled me. Not because Corey might live with us; that would be thrilling. It was just hearing of an ugly side that disappointed me as a parent. The idea of one big happy family — although we were kind of two — now seemed frayed at the edges.
"I'm supposed to be `running an errand,' so I guess I should get back home." Natalie looked at both of us. "Thank you for listening. I just don't what to do."
"We'll figure it out," I said.
The two of us hugged her tightly.
"We love you," Laramie said.
Once the door was shut, Laramie looked at me and we sat on the couch. He knew I would have a lot to express. I didn't know where to begin. It all seemed so huge so fast.
"Were there any legal documents in the divorce?" he asked.
"Yeah. We both agreed to them at the time. I don't think we are bound by law if the two of us wish to make changes."
"Do you really think he would be happier over here?"
"I don't know. Maybe. He relates to us really well."
"For two gay men."
"He doesn't seem fazed by that. I think the two of us probably treat him more as a grownup than she does."
"I hate that she's hurt," Laramie said. "It has to cut deep, even if he doesn't know he's doing it to her."
"You don't think he's trying to hurt her, do you?"
"Hell no! Our son???" I paused. "I mean, your son."
Laramie insisted he wasn't a father-figure to Corey, but I loved thinking of him as a second father. He was so good with Corey. Despite selling himself short, Laramie could relate to Corey much better than I could on several things.
"If things change, that would be a huge change to your world. How would you feel about it?"
"Cooper, I've loved Corey for years already. I like it when he's here. Yes, we would see more of the temper flare-ups and teenage angst if he was here more, but I want you to know that I'm okay with it. I love him. It's fine." He paused. "The only thing that would really change is our nights of loud sex."
I blustered a laugh. It was good. It momentarily relieved the tension.
"Well, we may be jumping the gun. We should find out what Corey thinks about all this first."
The Next Night
Laramie
The dishwasher was loaded. Conversation over dinner was light. Corey wasn't super talkative, but conversation was light enough. We discussed what he might like to do over the weekend. He had plans with Aiden the next night (a movie and dinner out). He said he had no homework.
"What movie do you two want to see?" Cooper asked.
"Jeez, Dad. What difference does it make?"
"I'm just making conversation."
"You don't have to check up on me. I'm sixteen."
"I don't care if you're 35; I'll still be interested in what movies you like."
"I don't know yet. There's a scary Valentine's Day movie. I think a space movie is out too."
"PG-13 or R?"
"I don't know! Man, you're so embarrassing sometimes."
"These are normal questions, buddy," I said.
Corey got up to add more ice to his glass.
"I'm going to my room."
"Wait, we have something to discuss," Cooper said.
"What now?!" Corey muttered.
"We had a talk with your mother yesterday."
"Oh, great. What's she saying about me now."
"She's wondering if you are happy over there."
That was not the answer Corey was expecting. He was anticipating some parental judgement remark. His body became stiff.
"Sit down," I motioned.
"Am in trouble?" he asked.
"No. But we do have concerns," Cooper said. "She's worried you don't like being over there. Do you not like being in your home?"
Corey's eyes were all over the place. He was analyzing things he might have said and if he was being kicked out and if his other parent didn't like him and how does one know if they are happy and ...
"It's okay," Corey said, almost emotionlessly.
"Your mother wonders if you'd be happier here."
"Is she wanting me to leave!!?"
"No. No, no, no. She loves you very much, of course. But ... she's been hurt by the way you've been treating here lately."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Really. Is there a reason you are being disrespectful to your mom?"
"No."
"She and I want nothing more for you to be happy. Laramie and Daryl too. If the decision would be up to you, where would you want to stay most of the time?"
Corey was afraid to answer. He didn't say anything. Cooper and I looked at him. He looked both of us in the face and then looked down.
"Do I have to decide right now?"
"You can think on it," Cooper said.
"K."
He walked upstairs. More than anything, I knew Cooper needed a hug. I held him for a long time. When we released, he walked into his office. I heard Corey go into the bathroom. He rarely shut the door to pee. I walked upstairs and waited for him.
The toilet flushed.
When he walked back in, he saw me lying on the bed.
"What?"
I motioned my arm to join me.
"What do you want?" he said, but not too sternly.
"Want to talk?"
"No." He stood looking at me. "Maybe." He stood looking at the bed.
He flopped down and slammed his head against my stomach a little too harshly. It took me a moment to recover, but I did.
"Did I hurt Mom?" he asked the ceiling.
"I think so. We all know you are at an age that so many things are happening to you. You're growing like crazy, your body is changing, you have hormones surging through you..."
He grunted for a response.
"We know that makes your brain slightly crazy. But you don't have to take all these changes out on your parents. They love you."
"They don't understand."
"No. They were never teenagers themselves. They came out of their mother's wombs as 30-year-olds."
"You're as bad as Dad."
I ran my fingers through his hair.
"Don't," he said, waving an arm in the air to disapprove of my touch. "I don't mean to hurt anyone. It's just that ... I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a freak."
"What!? You make straight A's. You have nice friends. You are very responsible. You're very mature — or were up to the last couple of months."
If telepathy were a thing, I could tell Corey was flipping me off.
"You are NOT a freak, Corey. You're awesome."
"I'm not awesome. I just don't know where I belong. The kids at church are either so goody-goody or they are out having sex and smoking pot."
"Church kids?"
"Yeah. Hello?"
"I don't belong in either of those groups."
"You have your faith. You don't like the nice kids there?"
"I don't fit in with those kids. Mom would love me to, but they are so ... so super Christian, it's almost weird."
"There is probably someone there much like you if you looked, but I get what you're saying."
I felt it wasn't a good idea to disagree with him. I just listened.
"At school, I like my friends in my honors classes, but in the others, they are either dorks or druggies."
"Are you offered drugs?"
"Me? Hardly. I'm sure kids think I'm some straight-A loser who would be too afraid to try drugs."
A shudder ran through me. I've never felt like a father to Corey, but a protective gene took hold of me at the moment. I was terrified of drugs being around him.
"Are you tempted to try them?"
Corey was quiet. He was probably afraid to answer.
"I guess not. Not really. But I feel like an outsider. I think Aiden has tried pot."
"Just be yourself. Drugs don't make people cool."
"I know." He turned his head toward me. "Did you ever use drugs?"
Fuck.
"Not in high school. I tried something in college. I hated it. But in high school, I did try smoking and beer. I can't say I'm proud of that, but ... Corey, you will be tempted and have opportunities to try things. I'm not your father. I can't tell you what not to do. It's natural to want to try some things. But you should never be pushed into doing something you don't want to do. None of that stuff makes a person cool. What makes a person cool is how they are on the inside and how they treat people."
"Dad would be disappointed. Mom would kill me."
"Don't sell your father short. He's gone through a lot himself you realize."
"I know he has."
"He understands more than you probably think he does. You can be honest with him."
"I just don't want him to be disappointed in me."
"You're a human being. No one expects you to be perfect."
"Mom does."
I laughed. "You just think that."
"She'd die if she knew ..." Corey stopped.
"Go on."
"Never mind."
I pushed on his shoulder. "You can tell me."
"Kids talk about having sex."
"Uh oh."
"I hate those conversations."
"You know they are making shit ... sorry, making that crap up, don't you?"
"Probably."
"Do you ever think about sex?"
"Yeah," he muttered.
"You realize that is totally normal."
"I don't know. When I was seeing Grace, I never thought about anything like that. Now, I have stupid thoughts of ..."
"It's okay."
"I'm not even seeing this girl, but she has really pretty hair. There are times when I wonder what it would be like. Then I feel like a horrible person."
"You're completely normal."
"Mom would yell at me."
"Just know that all kids go through this, and you are just as normal as everyone else."
We were quiet for a minute. I wasn't sure if he would want to share more, or if he wanted me to leave. I waited another moment and then felt our conversation was done.
"I'll leave you alone," I said. "But I'm always here for you. It can be just between us."
He didn't say anything. I got to the door and heard a soft "thanks."
Saturday
Cooper
It had been weeks since Corey had wanted to cook something. I asked if he was interested. He turned me down.
I gave him a choice of spaghetti or a shrimp stir fry. When he chose the stir fry, I started to get the ingredients from the freezer. Corey nudged me and quietly said, "I'll do it."
Lunch was fine. No big discussions. We still hadn't really resolved what he wanted to do regarding living arrangements.
"What time am I supposed to take you to Aiden's?" I asked.
"I guess around 3. We'll pick a matinee and then do dinner. He has his own car, so we are flexible."
I wasn't sure if there was an implication that Aiden had a car and he didn't. Corey had never acted like he expected us to give him one. Was that a future conversation?
After dishes had been taken care of, Corey sat on the couch clicking away at his phone. It seemed odd for him to just be here for the weekend and yet we didn't seem to be engaged with him. Perhaps when he got back, we could watch a movie or play a game.
His phone rang while it was already in his hand. It was not that we were eavesdropping, but he was only mere feet away.
"Hey!" ...
"Yeah. I know. I thought so too." ...
"Who is?" ...
"That's so cool." ...
"I don't know. What time?" ...
"We'll see. I'll call you."
Corey hung up and stared at this phone. Both Laramie and I watched him tap out a text so fast one would think he had a diet strictly of sugar.
"Hey, Dad. Trotter has asked me to go with some friends to go bowling."
"When?"
"6 o'clock."
"Today? Don't you have plans with Aiden?"
"I can cancel them."
"Haven't you guys had this planned for a while?"
"Only a few days. Since ... like Monday."
"Don't you think that will hurt his feelings? Why didn't you ask your friends if Aiden could come too?"
"Dad! You don't understand, these are cool kids."
"And...?"
"It wouldn't be cool if I brought Aiden."
"What's going on here?"
"It will just be more fun with them. I'd rather go with them."
"But you've made a commitment to Aiden."
"So?? I'll just back out."
"I don't like that. That's not being nice to someone else."
"Whatever."
"No. The Snows do not `trade up.' If you told someone you'd be there, then you should be there."
"But I want to do the other thing."
"I get that, but sometimes it's more important to be dependable. Not to mention how cold you're being to Aiden."
"He'll get over it."
"He shouldn't have to! You should treat every person with dignity."
"What does that mean!" my son said snidely.
"It means a person is valued and respected. How would you feel if you planned a birthday party, and everyone said they were coming, and then no one showed up because they backed out to do something else."
"Aiden's not having a party."
"It doesn't matter. He's expecting you!"
Corey was silent. He made fists as he thought over my words. He knew I was right, but he hated that I was right.
"Fine!"
"Why don't you call Trotter back and tell him you had already made a commitment. Then ask him if you can plan something next week."
"And if they say, `no'?"
"If they are your friends, why would they say, `no'?"
"I want to fit in with them, Dad! You just don't get it."
I sighed. "Apparently," I told myself softly.
Corey seethed but made the call.
"Hi." ...
"Noooo. My Dad is making me honor something else I committed to." ...
"I know. It totally sucks." ...
"I'd love to join you guys next Saturday. Is that okay?" ...
"Okay. Let me know."
Corey stomped up the stairs to his room.
Less than two hours later, we dropped him off at Aiden's house. I walked up to the door.
"You don't have to walk me to the door, Dad. I'm not five."
"I'd just like to say hello to Aiden. Is that okay?"
"Whatever."
Aiden liked me. I liked him. He offered a bright smile when he saw me at the door.
"Hey, Mr. Snow!"
"Hi Aiden. I just wanted to say hello. I hope you two have fun."
"We will. I'll bring him back to your place around 8."
"That's fine. Drive safe."
"Guh. He's so embarrassing," my son muttered.
I felt Natalie's pain.
Laramie
It was 8:11. We heard the front door open.
Cooper was slightly more relaxed. My affectionate blowjob in the late afternoon was of some comfort.
We saw Aiden come in with Corey. I walked up to him to say hello. Aiden offered a hug.
"Did you guys have fun?" Cooper asked.
"Yeah," Aiden responded. "After the movie, we grabbed a burger and milkshake at Caramel Moo."
"Can we have some ice cream?" Corey asked.
"Aiden just said you had a milkshake!" Cooper scoffed.
"So?"
"How about a Dr Pepper? That should be fine."
I could tell Corey was wrestling with something. I'd offer to talk with him, but so often I felt that I was intruding on Cooper's "father territory."
Aiden stayed until 8:45. We talked, and all of us laughed at this and that. They laughed at how blood sprayed all over this tricycle in the film. The adults in the foursome didn't see the humor, but we figured you had to be there. Corey teased Aiden for dipping his fries in his milkshake. I was pleased to see him ease into a better mood.
Once we had bid Corey's classmate a good night, we sat on the couch and pulled up a show we had saved on the DVR. Corey put his feet on my legs. I felt that was a communication that he was fine. I wished he had that slight symbolic gesture with his father, but one takes the wins where you can.
As the news came on, Corey went upstairs. Cooper and I watched the news, and then he got a serious case of the yawns. We had coffee at 9 in the morning, and he decided to turn in. I walked up to Corey's room.
"Hey, we're turning in. Don't forget coffee in the morning, okay? Don't stay up too late."
"I won't." Corey paused. "Laramie? Stay a minute?"
"Sure, bud."
We both took our positions on the bed, but he lay parallel to me this time.
"I'm glad I went to Aiden's."
"Good."
"He's a good listener. I would have felt like crap if I'd blown him off. He kind of needed to talk."
"Anything you care to share?"
"No details. He ... he just doesn't feel loved by his parents."
I reached for Corey's arm. "Really? That's sad. I hope that isn't true."
"It's probably not, but at the same time, he doesn't have what I do with Mom and Dad. And you. And Daryl. He's so envious."
"Wow."
"It helped me to talk things out with him. I think I know what I'll tell Mom and Dad tomorrow. You know, what we talked about last night."
"So...?"
"I'll wait for tomorrow." Corey looked reflective. "It's funny. I SO wanted to go with the cool kids. I want them to like me, but I really had a good time with Aiden. He's a good friend. He listened to me."
"Do you do the same for him? Does he confide in you?"
"I think so. He can be sort of a loner at times and talkative other times. I think he buries things inside, but he tells me some stuff."
"Be there for him. Good friends are worth their weight in gold."
Corey rolled into me and buried his face in my shoulder. "Why am I such a dick to my parents?"
I laughed. "Aren't all teenagers? I was a total ass to mine."
"I don't mean it. They just don't get me."
"Maybe you don't get them."
"What do you mean?" he said, pulled away from my shoulder.
"Think about being in their shoes. They love you more than anything, but they want to let you grow up and be an independent young man. They know you'll make mistakes, but those mistakes scare them because they want to take care of you. They don't want to push too hard, but they want to let you know they are there for you."
"I guess."
"Plus, maybe you're just figuring out who you are and who you want to be. You kind of have a head start on them."
"I wish. There are times when I don't feel I get anything. Nothing seems easy."
"Life rarely is."
"You make it seem like it is."
"Me??"
"Yeah. You like your work. You and Dad are great. You get along with my mom."
"I suppose those things on the outside look easy. But work comes with bills, payroll. Your father and I work at being good partners to each other. If there is one thing that was easy for me, it was falling for him."
"Why did you?"
"He was what I was looking for. We started out as friends, and then ... I couldn't wait to be with him again. I loved someone deeply in college. I think I've mentioned Freddy to you. I never thought I'd find anyone like him. Over the years, I think I tried to force it. With Cooper ... he was different. It happened pretty easy."
"I wish it would for me."
"I was in my 30s. Twice your age. You have time. Trust me. You'll go through a few girls."
"Huh! I doubt it."
"I don't," I said kissing the top of his head. "Just be yourself, kiddo. You're pretty cool. You can't make it happen, just let it happen."
"So, I shouldn't try with Elise?"
"Don't push. Be yourself. Start out as friends first."
I got up and walked downstairs to join Cooper. Hopefully my pep talk was of some value.
Sunday evening
Cooper
Laramie and I walked in with Corey. We all agreed to sit down and discuss things.
Natalie and Daryl had a pitcher of iced tea made. We sat around the dining room table. For all of being used to seeing each other, there was an aura of uneasy tension in the air. Everyone looked at Corey.
"Am I supposed to start?" he asked in surprise.
"Well," I said. "It's a matter of knowing what your feelings are."
"Okaaaaayyy." He looked hesitant. "To be honest, I didn't know what my feelings were. I think you both know I seem like I'm angry sometimes." He paused. "I'm not. I don't know why I say some of the things I do. I'm frustrated."
"Is anything wrong?" my ex-wife asked.
"No. Yeah. I don't know. I just want to fit in at school, and sometimes I'm not sure what that even looks like. I want to feel grown up, and sometimes I think you all feel I'm still a little kid."
Daryl looked at us. I could tell if he was wondering if there was any truth to that. He's only known my son as an adolescent.
"Aiden said something last night that kind of scared me."
"Oh?" Laramie said.
"Yeah. We were laying there, and he said how envious he was of me."
"Did he say why?" I asked.
"He wishes his parents would spend time with him. He didn't say it exactly like that. He talks smack about them all the time, but I think deep down he just wants to be noticed."
"Wow," Natalie softly said. "How sad."
"It made me really think. I mean, as dorky as you two are, you've always made me feel like I mattered. I felt so sorry for him. I spent part of the evening telling him that he was a good person and a good friend." Corey paused. "I was glad I was there for him."
I was glad Corey felt better about his decision to honor his commitment.
"Corey, you don't ... you don't think ... Aiden wouldn't hurt himself, would he?" Laramie asked. I could tell he was trying to word it delicately.
"You mean like suicide?" Corey looked at the table. "I don't think so. He's ready to just move out. Sadly, he needs to get his grades on track in a couple of classes."
"I'm glad you were there for him," I said.
"Actually, I felt he was there for me. I felt lucky. For some reason. Then I felt like I was trapped."
"Why trapped?" I asked.
"If you are letting me choose where to live — and I'm really not sure if I get it all, I mean ... does a 16-year-old get to decide?"
"We want to know how you feel," Natalie said.
"I'm happy at both places. I feel if I pick one then I'm hurting the other's feelings. It isn't fair."
"Would you be happier at one place over the other?" I asked.
"Does it have to be that way?"
"What do you mean?"
"Can it be half and half?"
Natalie and I looked at each other.
"Go on," I said.
"Like, what if I stayed at Mom's the first half of the month and Dad's the second half. That seems fair."
It did. For a 16-year-old boy, it seemed very fair. A very safe answer. He didn't want to hurt either of us. There were merits to his answer. It wasn't a typical situation in divorces, but it was worthy of discussion.
"Interesting." I looked at Natalie. She made a shrug with her eyebrows. "Buddy, you've given us some things to think about it. But thank you for telling us how you feel. We appreciate that."
"K." Corey looked around the table. "Can I go to my room?"
Natalie nodded. He hugged Laramie and me goodbye.
"Love you, son."
"Lvyutoo," he mumbled.
April 11, 2025, Friday evening
Laramie Jenkins (36)
Jakob Morgan (almost 31)
Jakob
Lance and I hadn't been to Cooper's and Laramie's house in quite some time. It was nice to finally get back. Although we had just been in Jackson Bend fairly recently, we didn't really get to visit with these two much, and they wanted to do something for my birthday. Lance was forward enough to ask if we could stay for the weekend, and, thankfully, they enthusiastically said yes.
"Happy birthday!" Larry said, greeting us at the door.
"Actually, it's Monday."
"Close enough. Get in here!" Larry hugged me tightly. I gave him a kiss. He then kissed and hugged my husband too. Ever since Vegas, we were all on a kissing basis.
"You have a cat!" I shouted.
"We do," Larry said, and then explained its name, Destiny.
The feline was wonderfully affectionate. I had always been a dog person, but as long as a cat wasn't stand-offish, I liked them too. Once we sat down, Destiny found my lap to be the seat of choice.
My husband pulled out a copy of the magazine that featured my interview.
"Look at that cover," Larry said. "Full confession. We ran out to buy a copy a week ago."
"It's so embarrassing," I muttered.
"Hardly. It was touching and heartbreaking and inspiring. It was very moving. Trent's play hinted at some of it, but the dude who interviewed really dug deep."
"That he did," I said.
We talked a bit at the kitchen table, and Larry offered us tea. After a short conversation, we took our bags up to the guest room. Destiny followed us up; she felt it was her duty to see what we were up to and if the guest room was up to snuff. She supervised from the bed. Eventually Lance sat at the edge of the bed and scratched behind her ears. Her eyes closed in approval.
When we came back down, I noticed a new work of art in the living room. It was a wall hanging. I pictured it as about two feet by three feet. The background was painted a magnificent navy blue, so dark that it was borderline black. Over the front were seven carved pieces of wood, each slightly wavy and they all overlapped just a bit. On closer inspection, I noticed bits of tiny metal applied to the dark background.
"I love this! It's beautiful. Where did you get it?"
"I made it. It's called `Stargazers.' I worked on it in my free time," Larry said.
Lance and I stared at it for a moment until we both came to the realization.
"It's us!" my husband screamed.
"It is," Larry said.
"That's me," I said, pointing to the wavy piece of carved wood that held my position in our domino layout of gazing at the sky outside Bryce Canyon.
Cooper walked in the front door. "Hello?" He soon found us in the living room standing in front of the art. Lance and I greeted him with firm hugs. Even though it had now been more than two years since we moved, our friendship with Cooper was so entrenched in our early years of AA recovery that he would always be a close friend in our lives.
Mike and Trent rang the doorbell ten minutes later. Gay pleasantries ensued.
"Where's Corey?" Trent asked.
"I don't get him until tomorrow," Cooper answered. "Which is why we will eat out tonight."
We took two cars since Mike and Trent would return to their home following dinner. As we were a party of six, Cooper had made a reservation at 515 East. It was nicer than the usual casual places we would dine, but none of us were dressed up. A collared shirt was fine, even if other people were dressier than us. Soon the restaurant was filled, and we were grateful that Cooper had the foresight to make a reservation.
Conversation was simple.
Mike knew exactly how many days of the school year remained.
Trent spoke of some interesting stories at the station and listeners who had called in.
Cooper explained how Corey now divided his living arrangements evenly between Natalie and him. He was excited to get to see him more, but he also knew both he and his ex-wife were having to tolerate hormonal behavior. We chuckled.
I spoke on the youth center and how it was providing a lot of great services in Von.
Lance felt left out. He felt he had nothing to contribute. Work was simply ... routine. There was nothing interesting about it. He shared that he finally managed to bench press 200, but he hated making it sound like bragging. As blunt as my husband was, he didn't like to talk about his body. I was grateful that the magnificent temple was mine alone to worship. The table told him he looked terrific. He did. Lance was built.
Although dinner was a bit on the extravagant side, I had one request.
"Can we grab a sundae at Udder Delights?" I asked.
Slightly perplexed, everyone agreed.
"It was the first place Lance and I went alone."
"Aww," Larry cooed.
Fifteen minutes later, we had a ridiculous-size sundae in front of us. Even though there were six of us, each would have more than enough to conquer a sweet tooth following a large meal.
"Hub, can you believe we are coming up on five years being together? We're just a few months away from our evening here," Lance said, me noticing whipped cream smeared on his upper lip.
I leaned over and kissed it off. It seemed cuter than just motioning for him to wipe it off.
It was sad to have to say goodbye to Mike and Trent following our dairy consumption, but it was a wonderful evening.
Laramie
We offered our guests a late-night decaf, but they declined.
Lance walked upstairs to the guest room at 10:30. I noticed Jakob looking at my art again.
"I'm so taken with this, Larry."
"Thanks."
"Seriously. I could see this in my store. My clients would love it."
"I think with the amount of hours involved, it wouldn't be profitable."
Jakob stared some more.
"What if we reduced the amount of carving? I can picture a bigger frame and..."
"Bigger!?"
"Stay with me. What if we used strips of thick fabric in a woven pattern and-"
"We??"
"Do you have paper and something to write with?" he continued.
I supplied my guest with the items he requested. Soon he was doodling and sketching. He began to explain his three drawings and how the two of us could combine wood, fabric and painted surfaces to create beautiful wall hangings.
"I don't know, Jakob. I have no idea if I would have the time. Let me sleep on it."
"I'm excited about the idea. Give it some thought." He looked at my work some more. "I love how the stars are bits of metal instead of just painted dots or small sequins."
"Don't touch them. The metal shavings are sharp. I had to adhere them with tweezers."
"Just ... spectacular."
Lance came downstairs. Shirtless.
"What are you guys doing?! Babe, are you coming to bed?"
"I will, angel. One minute."
"HOLY fuck, Lance. You ... you have the body of a god."
"Meh. I don't have any chest hair. It drives me crazy."
"You make me feel so insignificant," I whined.
"Imagine being married to him."
Suddenly Lance was kissing Jakob's cheek madly. "Aw, you know I crave your body, hub. I can't get enough." And he gave one last smooch.
"Good night, you two."
We all retired to our rooms.
"Well, you missed that," I told Cooper, who was reviewing the magazine with Jakob on the cover.
"What?"
"Lance came down shirtless."
"Oh? And?"
"And!!?? His body is amazing."
"I suppose, but I'm not trading you in."
I stretched over the bed and gave him a peck on the lips.
"I just want to see his dick."
"Larameeeee. Don't say such things."
"Oh, come on. Aren't you curious? You've mentioned in the past that it's supposed to be really something. Don't you want to see it?"
"It has been ... discussed ... on specific occasions," Cooper said drolly.
I chuckled and went into the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth.
I crawled into bed, naked, and turned out the light. Cooper rolled into my arms. I reached down and felt the hem of his boxers around his leg. My partner didn't like to sleep naked if we had company. It didn't bother me.
In the darkness, I told Cooper of Jakob's conversation — and artistic inspiration — and how it both intrigued me and daunted me. I had no grand desire to enter the art world. Still, collaborating with a friend sounded rewarding. Just seeing him pleased at my work was deeply heartwarming. I hadn't felt that since Cooper first saw "Father and Son."
"Whatever you decide, I'll support your decision, but ... from a personal standpoint, I think your art is pretty terrific. It would be fun to see other people enjoy it."
"Do you think anyone would actually buy it?"
"If there is one person I'd trust in such things, it would be Jakob."
I held my partner tight. I knew I had furnishings and cabinetry in numerous homes, but ... art? That was different. I became lost in thought, briefly considering myself an artist.
"It was a wonderful evening," Cooper said.
"It was. I like spending time with our friends. It's interesting that we have a coffee group and then the ... men trip group."
"And they'll overlap Sunday morning."
Yes, they would. It wouldn't be the first time. Between Cooper's AA milestones and Trent's Friendsgiving, our friends in both groups have met each other. Throw in my work staff and Cooper's ex, and our close circle widens.
We were silent for a long time, ready to drop into deep sleep.
"It would be nice just to see it," Cooper admitted in the darkness.
Saturday
Jakob
Corey had been picked up during the afternoon. He was so fun to be around. Cooper's son was so engrossed in preparing ingredients for our dinner. I loved watching him as if he were a contestant on Master Chef or something.
When Cooper brought him home, he came with a birthday cake from Natalie. It was beautiful, and I was admittedly touched. I called her to thank her for her incredibly kind gesture.
Laramie was preparing a salad.
Upon the drive over, Cooper and Corey had stopped to get fresh ginger. All the other necessary ingredients were at Cooper's house. The entrée of the evening was Firecracker Chicken. It sounded spicy and delicious. He was serving it with butter-lemon linguine with grated parmesan and fresh green beans with slivered almonds. Those final items were also picked up, along with an Italian baguette.
Contrary to Cooper's comments from the night before, Corey was in "adult mode" and didn't seem too riled up in any teenage angst. He was polite and friendly. He positively beamed hearing the compliments being showered upon him.
Natalie's cake was wonderful as well.
The adults opted for a decaf on the back deck following dinner. Cooper had some flavored creamers, which made it just festive enough. It was a lovely sunset, even though the backyard was turned perpendicular to it. Corey was in his room, which allowed my husband to be brash if he wanted to be, and Larry would let an occasional cuss word slip.
"Is it nice having Corey stay for longer periods of time?" I asked Cooper.
"I love it. It was a bit to ask of Laramie, but-"
"Nonsense," Larry protested.
"But I do love it," continued Cooper. "I think Natalie can appreciate having some pressure taken off her. I think her mood has improved being able to not be under Corey's moods every day."
"But he's so polite," I said.
"Around company. He has his moments, but ... yes, I'm proud of him."
The others went in to top off their coffee; I stayed outside to simply enjoy the last glimmer of red-orange painted on the horizon before the dark indigo overtook the sky.
"May I join you, Mr. Jakob?" Corey sheepishly asked, sticking his head outside.
"Why of course. And Jakob is fine. Drag out another chair."
He pulled one out and left the door open for the others. The temperature was ideal, so there were no worries about leaving the door open.
"I read the magazine article on you," he said.
"Oh." I wasn't sure how to discuss it with an adolescent. "What did you think?"
"Parts made me sad. Did your parents really kick you out?"
"They did. I wasn't a whole lot older than you. Seventeen."
"How did you know what to do?"
"I didn't. Thankfully a family loved me and took me in. For a year, at least."
"Did your family not love you?"
"In their own way, maybe. Probably my mother for sure. My father was convinced that if I didn't have a home, I would give up being gay and just come back."
"It doesn't work that way, does it?" Corey asked but knew the answer.
"Nope."
"When did you know you were gay? How did you know?"
I weighed Corey's question carefully. I didn't sense any undertones that he was curious about himself; I think it was just curiosity in general.
"I thought about boys. I looked at boys instead of girls. I wanted to touch them..."
Larry came out and had heard the last bit of our conversation.
"Oh yeah," he said. "I just wanted to hold Charlie. Touch him. Kiss him. I knew my junior year ... probably my sophomore year."
"I like looking at Elise. She has pretty hair."
"Not a boob man, huh?" Lance said, coming back outside.
"Lance!!" I barked.
"I don't know." Corey immediately turned red, even in the night sky. "Maybe. A little."
"Touching them is half the fun," Lance continued. I kicked my husband, which caused Corey to slightly smile. "I liked the upper half better than the lower half." I wanted to strange him. "As the allegedly bi person here, I can at least offer commentary on that."
Cooper stepped back out and closed the door.
"Dad are you bi?"
Stunned, Cooper said, "What have I walked into?"
Everyone laughed.
"Um. Why do you ask?"
"Mr. Lance was talking about ... being bi and-"
"Call me Lance. And Trent always insisted I was bi, but I felt more like I was just gay and in denial."
"Son, that's probably me too. I loved your mother in my own way. She was a great girl, a nice lady, a good woman. I did love her. But somewhere deep down, I probably knew. I just figured my looks at men were just natural — I liked their suit or their haircut or their sunglasses, but ... I convinced myself that it wasn't me liking men."
"Hm."
"Alcohol lessens a person's inhibitions. When we started going out with clients at work or having a drink with them, there were a few times that a client wasn't wearing a full suit. I remember once this very handsome man was just in a sportscoat. He had beautiful hair and I became fixated on his chest hair sticking out his shirt. I took another drink and dropped all my inhibitions. I just wanted to stare at him. That was the beginning."
"The beginning?" his son asked.
"I would pray about it; I asked God to make me stop feeling that way. But if I took another drink at a meeting, I knew those feelings would come back. And I wanted to feel them. Eventually I faced up to the fact that I was probably gay. And married. I then drank more, this time to push it away. I wanted it to solve my problem. Drinking would make me forget I was gay. Over all those months, well... you know how that turned out. Mitchell made me realize everything. If I didn't have him, I could have been a worse drunk."
"Would Grandpa and Grandma have kicked you out as a teenager if they knew?"
Oh shit. Corey was transferring my situation to his father. "Corey, that was my family, not everybody's."
"Had I told them then, figured it out then, it may not have been such a shock. But I knew how they felt about it at the time. I convinced myself that being gay was not acceptable."
All this was a lot for Corey to process.
"Is it okay to talk about all this, bud? Are you okay?" Cooper asked.
"Yeah. I ... I just wondered about some things."
"Well, thanks for letting us talk them out with you," Cooper said.
Laramie
So often, Cooper knew just what to say. My partner was an outstanding father, but occasionally a question would throw him.
"Corey, I think you know neither of your parents would ever do something like that to you," I said. "Me too. You're stuck with us."
Corey laughed. "I know. Despite them being dorks, they are both very good about telling me they love me."
"I don't know whether that was a compliment or insult," Cooper said.
"I sometimes worry about Aiden."
"Who's Aiden?" Lance asked.
"A friend. His parents hardly do anything with him."
"How sad," Jakob said. "I'm glad he has you as a friend."
"Yeah," he said blankly.
We all got quiet a moment.
My seat was next to Jakob's. My thoughts all day had turned over what he had proposed the previous night.
"How do you think this artistic collaboration would work?"
For several minutes we discussed materials, schedules, pricing ... everything. I knew what materials I could access from my suppliers. Jakob knew the same on his end. We excused ourselves to the kitchen table and spent fifty minutes doodling and sketching. I was feeling an excitement creatively that I hadn't in ages.
Sunday
I woke with rays of sunlight coming in our bedroom window. Cooper's hand was on my ass. I could hear his breathing and knew he was still asleep. I loved feeling Cooper next to me. Every morning. It was a gift to start the day. When we were both naked, just feeling his crotch touching my butt or my hip was a signal from the cosmos that the day was going to be okay. With guests in the house, his boxers prevented that.
I slipped on some lounge pants to stroll out to the kitchen. We'd get coffee at Joe, but I wanted some muffins and fruit out before we left in case Lance and Jakob wanted something right away. I was surprised to see Lance in the kitchen. He was pouring himself some juice.
"I hope this is okay to help myself."
"Absolutely." Lance had quietly come down wearing only briefs. His body was a sculpted god. His arms, his chest, his legs — he had developed them to perfection. A bulge tried its hardest to contain itself in his briefs. I was confident I didn't disguise my gawking at it. "God damn."
"What?"
"What!? You are this amazing specimen of a man standing before me, dude."
Lance pulled me into a warm hug. "You're sweet." He held me. "But thank you."
I could feel his cock press into mine. His was apparently naturally big. Mine was just getting that way.
"You realize holding me like this when you are in a near-naked state is just going to arouse me more."
"Oh please. You have Cooper in the bedroom." He placed his hand on my chest and rubbed his fingers through my chest hair. "Jealous," he said, giving me a slight kiss on the lips.
For an insane moment — the slightest, briefest, most miniscule of moments — I was tempted to ask him to just let me see it, for him to show me for only a second. But then I would become the creepy friend. Cooper's weird partner.
As I piddled with fruit, Lance sat down with his glass of Vitamin C-laced orange refreshment. He watched me as I prepared simple items.
"I suppose you know about my car wreck a few years ago."
"I do," I answered.
"Trent and I were on the basketball team in college. We were in good shape. Then the last weeks of school I drank so much. I all but poured the pounds into me. In a matter of months, I had just lost the desire to give a fuck. Trent loved Mike. I loved Trent. I ate crap. And I drank. So. Much. Beer. When Dad picked me up in the hospital following the wreck, I had the worst self-esteem. Dismal. I hated myself."
I hadn't expected a story. I sat down letting him know I was listening.
"Sobriety helped me lose some pounds. I was lucky to work at a gym. I wasn't going to let that opportunity go unused. I wanted to be a good boyfriend for Jakob."
"You were worried what a homeless guy thought of you?"
"Positively. Jakob did something to me. He somehow saw something good in me. I think he rescued me. We got married, and he became so successful, and I ... was just Lance. I devoted time to the gym. That drive helped put aside feelings of him not needing me anymore."
"Lance, Jakob worships you."
"I sometimes feel as if I don't deserve it."
"You're an incredible guy. Why would you say that?"
"I was such a ... waste. I let alcohol take me down. I can't blame all my bad decisions on it though. I own my mistakes. I just became so drawn to Jakob. He ... he seemed so pure and authentic. And I was just an alcoholic mess."
"He was an alcoholic too."
"Yeah. We brought out the best in each other. We were always there for each other. We were great ... until we weren't. He had worked so hard, and I hated that we seemed distanced from each other. I got scared that he didn't need me anymore. But he and I are in a really good place again. We are so in love. I try so hard to be enough."
"You are successful at your job. Your body rocks. And you madly love your husband. I see it. He knows it. And from what I've been told, you have a killer penis."
"Uck. It's just a dick."
I howled.
"He tells me you two are seriously going to make a go at this art thing," Lance said.
"Should I not? Would that be something that takes time away from you two?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. We are there for each other. If this is something you want to do, then enjoy it."
"I don't expect it to be much more than a side hustle, but ... I admit I'm kind of excited."
"If there is a man who can make it work, it's my husband."
Lance put his glass in the sink.
"Just as an FYI, with Corey here, Cooper will appreciate it if you throw on just a bit more," I said.
"Understood."
"Much to my disappointment," I winked. Lance kissed me on the cheek.
—
Jakob
We had met Emory a few times before. This was the first time since he had his stroke. The others had said his speech had much improved, but I could immediately tell he didn't sound the same. I had no difficulty understanding him, but there was a difference.
His partner Don did more of the talking. He was very pleasant company.
I applauded Mitchell's inner strength to be back in this group, knowing he and Cooper were once lovers. While I couldn't fathom what thoughts he might wrestle with and what feelings might be stirred up, it warmed my heart to see the friendship repaired. Corey had ridden over with us, and he let us know that things were good between his father and ex-boyfriend.
Once again, I was impressed with Corey. One would think it would be so easy to be grossed out or put off by a group of gay men, but he fit in with us totally fine. He was a remarkable, accepting young man. And I think he appreciated us accepting him for the young adult he was.
"Emory, I hear you are able to drive again," I said.
"Yeah. I'll do short trips. If it is a long drive, Don takes care of it."
Again, I could hear the change in his voice. Emory wasn't that much older than Dad. Keaton had said our father was thinking about retiring in three years. I didn't think a lot about my parents aging. For so long, I didn't think I would ever be a part of their lives again.
I scanned our group. Cooper, Lance and I met through AA. Through Cooper we met Larry, Mitch, Emory and now Don. Had Lance been involved with someone or if he never asked me out for coffee following a meeting, none of these people would be part of my world. I might see two of them at meetings. My life would be so drastically different. I would hope I could have made it out of the shelter. Lance always told me I would have been a confident survivor once I got sober. I sometimes questioned if he hadn't found me if my life would have been so much less than what it is. I took a few seconds to say a prayer of thanks for my angel. I tried to thank God every time I thought of what Lance was for me.
I was excited to go into this endeavor with Larry. It inspired me. I hoped he wasn't feeling pressured into it.
Don had ordered a few pastries for the table. Brad, the server, brought forks for everyone. The baked goods smelled heavenly.
Corey watched Emory carefully. I felt he was analyzing how things had changed for his friend and the improvements he was making. He watched what tasks Don would intervene to do, but Corey didn't seem freaked out by the change in his friend. His concern warmed my heart.
We had made a home in Von, but I would always miss Jackson Bend.
When the time came for us to head home, I gave the young man an extreme hug and told him how impressive I found him. He blew it off, but I hoped the compliment settled somewhere deep inside his subconscious.
In the parking lot, hugs were given all around. I hated leaving our hosts.
"I hope your official birthday tomorrow is a good one," Cooper said.
"This weekend was all the gift I needed. I love you, all of you."
"Thanks for your faith in me," Larry said as he hugged me.
"I can't wait to see what we do together."
August 13, 2025
Laramie Jenkins (36)
Cooper Snow (41)
Cooper
"Hi, I'm Cooper. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Cooper," the group replied.
"I've only had one slip up in five years. I've gone three and a half years without a drink of any kind. I used to be really proud of that. Some people might be embarrassed to admit they are — or were — an alcoholic. I guess we always are, huh?"
I paused for a moment. Ophelia looked concerned. I wasn't sure what my expression was conveying.
"Today at work something happened. My coworkers know. They are proud of me. But we had a meeting with a potential client. We went for a big lunch. The client ordered drinks for everyone. I had club soda. He told me that even though it was early in the day, just one would be fine. It's not that I wanted it, I just felt awkward. I felt awkward because I knew my coworkers were uncomfortable. For just a second..." I fell silent, almost finding it impossible to take in a breath. "For one second, I thought, `Oh, just have one. It would just make the situation easier.' One second. And then my mind flashed to my son. And I knew I couldn't do it. I shouldn't do it. My partner has never seen me take a single drink. I want to keep it that way."
My lip quivered, and Ophelia's face frightened the daylights out of me.
"I hated myself for thinking for even one second that it would be easier to just have one. And the worst part was that in that split second ... I wanted one. I could almost taste it. And in that split second, I didn't know who I was.
"Thankfully, it passed in a blink. Corey is my center, so I just remained focused on him. I insisted that I was fine with my club soda.
"For the rest of the afternoon, I was thankful that I knew I was coming to this meeting tonight. I'm ... I'm fine, but I feel better for being here with you.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
A new member I had not seen before got up to share.
"Hi. I'm Dorothy. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Dorothy," the group replied.
"My daughter had her kids taken away today. They were placed in the custody of my mother, her grandmother. For now. Child Protective Services had to intervene. One of the youngest's teachers noticed some bruises. It wasn't the first time.
"Now my daughter is blaming me. She blames me for being a terrible mother. I never hit my kids. Not any of them. But I didn't give them the love they deserved. I was too busy getting drunk.
"Maybe it is my fault. Maybe if I was a better mother she would have been. I don't know.
"I wanted a drink so badly today, but I have made it ten months now, and I wasn't going to give up. I refused to let myself cave in.
"I have no idea what is going to happen next, so I'm scared shitless about all that. I'm just hanging on to that.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
I was heartbroken by Dorothy's share. I had put Corey through a lot years ago, but thankfully I never struck out at him. I shoved him that one time. That woke me up. I hated to even picture it getting so bad that Corey would be taken away from us. Dorothy's family had a lot on her plate, and I felt sorry for her.
Following the meeting, Ophelia made sure I was okay. Bless her heart, she reminded me that she was always just a phone call away.
I spoke briefly to Dorothy to encourage her and wished her calmer days ahead.
It had been a tough day. When I opened the front door, I had decided to tell Laramie about my feelings today. I would "share" with him too. Laramie was always there for me.
He was sitting on the couch, somewhat in a stupor from what I could tell.
"Hey," I said, sitting next to him.
Normally I would immediately kiss him, but before I could lean in, he said, "Grayson called."
"How's he doing?"
Laramie buried his face in his hands. I knew something was wrong. His eyes peered above his fingers when he turned to me. "Mom died."
I reached out my arms. "Oh, babe. I'm so sorry."
My feelings today could wait. My partner had bigger things to deal with. I held him tight.
Laramie
Cooper's arms were what I needed. I had only heard the news thirty minutes ago, but I still couldn't process everything. I just needed to be held.
Even in my partner's arms, I should have felt comfortable letting tears fall. But they didn't. It freaked me out that I wasn't crying. I felt like a horrible son. But I still didn't know how I felt. I was numb. It was like my brain refused to process it.
"I'm going to leave in the morning and drive down. I'll help Dad deal with things."
"I'll see if I can get away. I'll come with you."
"No," I insisted. "There's no need for you to leave like that."
"You are the most important man in my life. Of course, I want to be with you."
"I know you do. I thought we might see what a one-way ticket is to Kansas City, and I could pick you up on Saturday."
Cooper's arms didn't release me. And I was so grateful.
"How's Grayson?" he asked.
"Not great. He stayed in Kansas a lot longer than I did, so he sees Mom more often. Or saw."
I remembered hearing Grayson's tears on the phone. And I hadn't been able to even start. I wanted to cry more for being a terrible son than I did my mother's passing.
"How do you feel?" Cooper asked.
I lifted my head unsure how to answer.
"I feel like I am in a movie theater. A big one. The lights are on. I'm sitting there by myself. I just stare at the silver screen. And it's blank. Nothing is showing. I'm just there. Staring. All by myself."
"You're not by yourself. I'm sitting next to you. I'll stare at the screen with you as long as you need."
I put my head back on his shoulder. He gave my upper body a firm squeeze.
"You know, with her health being what it was for such a big part of my life, I thought I might have been prepared for this, but my entire body just feels numb. Like it has been turned off. It really hasn't sunk in that it's real."
Cooper ran his fingers through my hair as he listened. I just kept my head on his shoulder.
—
"Is Corey there?" I heard Cooper ask Natalie.
There was a pause.
"Put the phone on speaker," he softly said.
I knew he was trying very hard to speak to his family without me hearing the details voiced aloud. I still could. He was trying so hard, and I was trying so hard to not listen that all I could do was listen.
"We looked at flights. Laramie is driving down tomorrow. Flights just a couple days out were crazy expensive. I felt I should just go with him."
Corey said something that I couldn't make out.
"Thanks, bud. I'm sure he will appreciate that."
It seemed everyone understood that it would be a few additional days before Corey could join us here at the house. I was relieved that Corey had felt better about life in general with his time evenly split between his parents. I would have hated to have been the cause of him becoming angry. Actually, Mom would have been. Hopefully he was fine.
And I felt nothing. No, that wasn't true. I felt obligation. Although things had improved since Cooper repaired relations with my family, it was better with Dad than it was with Mom. I guessed I loved her as a son should. But I didn't love her. I wouldn't miss her. I wouldn't miss her at all.
Then tears started. I was crying for all the wrong reasons. Cooper came out, saw me and came to hold me once again. I wrapped my arms around him. He had no idea why I was crying.
I was crying because I had no idea if she really loved me.
I was crying because she never used the word gay.
I was crying because she didn't really know me.
I was crying because I wasn't going to miss her.
I was crying because my immediate family didn't feel anything like my family with Cooper and Corey.
I was crying because I didn't feel anything I was supposed to feel.
"I'm going to put on some tea," Cooper said.
When his arms left me, I was back in the theater. This time I was alone again, sobbing at a movie that wasn't even playing.
Fifteen minutes later, Cooper and I were sipping tea and making plans for the next day. He went to the study to make a few calls and get on the computer. I acknowledged that I was fine with him doing that. He was such a responsible person. He knew what to do. He said he would call Maria and let her inform the staff at Jenkins Mantle.
A text came in. I saw that it was from Corey.
"I would call, but I know you have a lot to do and a lot on your mind."
"I'm not very good at knowing what to say, so I guess I will just say I'm sorry. It's sad."
"I wish I could hug you, but I'm not there. I'll just say I love you and I'm sorry for the loss of your mom."
I thought my tears were done, but one more made an escape down my cheek.
I texted back. "You knew exactly what to say. You're a good son. I love you too."
I wasn't sure how he would take that. He wasn't my son, but there were times that he was.
Sunday
Cooper
The morning service was small-town drab. Those that would not be at the afternoon gravesite service conveyed their condolences to Laramie, Grayson and their father.
Food had been prepared for those that were staying. A few kind people had brought meals for Mr. Jenkins so that he wouldn't have to worry about cooking this week. They were placed in the church refrigerator until after the funeral service.
For Eureka being such a small town, I was surprised that the turnout for the funeral was as large as it was. I was estimating about 50 people or so. It almost matched the size of the regular church service.
The words spoken were simple. I felt puzzled why my impression was that it was all a bit countrified. What made me think that? An accent? Words were words, but it just sounded ... Kansas. It was not a long service.
At the cemetery, the weather was getting quite warm. The minister knew to keep it short. Many people were fanning themselves with the funeral pamphlet.
I hadn't been a pall bearer before. It was considerate to be asked. The brothers and I were joined by a few cousins. I paid attention to where I was going, but occasionally when we paused, I would see a look from someone who wondered who I was. I heard one person say, "Who is that handsome man?" I was vain enough to think they were perhaps talking about me, but I assumed they knew who the others were.
There weren't a lot of people at the gravesite service. The family was able to stand in the shade of a tent. Laramie reached over to grab my hand. I squeezed it tight. I knew it was somewhat bold of him to show affection to another male in his rural hometown. We held on tight to each other until the ceremony concluded.
Laramie
"Are you sure you don't want me to stick around longer?" I asked Gray.
"I'm fine. You need to get back to your business," my brother said. "I can come over a few times in the next two weeks to help Dad get things squared away."
"I appreciate you doing this. I feel like I am letting you down."
"Nonsense. We're not far."
"These are sad circumstances," I heard Cooper say to Miranda, "But it is nice to see you all. I take it the little one is doing fine?"
"Amy is doing great. She's with my mother today."
I left them to the pleasant conversation. I saw Dad alone for a moment, so I walked over to him.
"How ya doin', Dad?"
"Hanging in there."
"Are you going to be okay?"
My father was silent.
"It will be an adjustment. But I'm certainly not helpless. I'm not the cook your mother was, but I won't starve."
I gave a small chuckle.
"Son, I will miss your mother terribly, but ... I don't mean this to sound cold, but without all the special care ... I will have more time. I promise not to sit around and mope. It will free me to do things with others I haven't been able to do. Please don't worry none about me. Some people from the church have already told me they would visit each week. I might be alone here at the house, but I won't necessarily be lonely. I promise ya that."
"It helps to hear you say that." For just a split second, I thought about what terror it would be if my father had wanted me to move home for a while.
"It's been nice having you home for a few days."
"Are you sure you don't need me for another day or two? Just to have family here."
"No, no. You have your family at home with Cooper. I'm – I'm going to be fine."
It was a relief to hear him say that. My father recognizing Cooper as my family meant something too.
"Think you and Cooper will ever do that gay marriage thing?" Dad awkwardly asked, looking at the ground.
"It's just marriage, not gay marriage. But ... no. We seem to be okay with where we are."
"You'd make a good husband. You're pretty close to being one now."
"Why, Dad. That's a nice compliment."
"An' I mean it."
"Remember on Father's Day when we talked? I told you about this art venture I went into with a friend?" My father nodded. "We've sold four pieces so far."
"Are ya rich?"
I laughed. "Hardly. But ... it's been fun. I've enjoyed incorporating my woodworking and carving skills into something different."
I pulled up some pictures of the artwork Jakob and I had collaborated on.
"Are they supposed to look like anything?" my father asked.
"Nothing specific. Just abstract I suppose."
"They're nice," Dad said. I could tell by his smile that he sincerely meant it.
"I'd like you to come visit us one day," I told my father, looking into his eyes so he knew I meant it.
I took a selfie of us, and then we hugged.
—
Cooper
"It's a couple hours in the drive. Want me to take over?" I asked Laramie.
"I'll probably need to pee in about 15 minutes. We'll pull over then."
Laramie reached over to me. I held his finger.
I was glad I came. I knew I didn't want my other half to be alone. Even if it was just the drive. He needed me. And I enjoyed being needed. I would do anything for him.
"This is an odd thing to just say out of the blue, but ... thank you for being my soulmate," I said.
"I'm not sure what the right response to that is. Obviously, I feel the same way, but ... this would have been a hundred times harder without you."
"I thought you held up pretty well."
"I was a tad weepy at the service this afternoon," he softly said.
"As would be expected. You lost your mother. How are you processing all that?"
"I'm not sure. My dad was my primary concern, but he's put any fears to rest. It's funny, I don't know what made me think it, but for a split second, I thought, `What if he asks me to move home!?' And in that second, I thought about being away from you and Corey and the store and ... my life. Kansas isn't remotely home. You hear the expression of your life flashing before your eyes; I find it weird and amazing how much your brain can process in just a second. I knew I couldn't uproot and come back here for a while — and thankfully my father never considered that —but just that moment of terror was unsettling."
"I can relate. Last week, before my AA meeting, I had a similar moment at work. We were at a luncheon with a new client, and he kept trying to push `just one' drink on me. My coworkers were uncomfortable. For just a second, I wanted to. I thought it would be easier just to accept one. And I thought about the taste of bourbon for a second ... and kind of wanted it. But it was just a brief blip."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was, but when I got home ... you had your own news. It wasn't important."
"Babe, everything about you is important."
I moved my hand to stop holding his finger and let all our fingers interlock.
"I love you," I said.
"Thank you for being here with me. I love you, too."
—
I was happy Laramie was able to sleep for more than an hour once I had taken over the driving. I wanted him to feel as rested as he could feel after such an ordeal. We alternated driving a couple more times. We stopped at a KFC for a fast dinner. When we got home, it was about twenty minutes before midnight.
After retrieving the mail, I noticed there was already a sympathy card from Natalie, Daryl and Corey.
We headed to bed quickly. After a kiss, I worked my way into Laramie's body. His arm wrapped around me. He remained silent for a while. I wasn't sure if he just wanted to drift off or if something was weighing on his mind.
"What are you thinking?" I ventured.
"I was holding you, and ... I wondered how different it must be for Dad not to have Mom there at his side."
"Hm. I'm sure it is."
"Please make sure I go first," he mumbled into my shoulder. "I never want to be in this bed without you."
—
Laramie's staff had a beautiful flower arrangement awaiting him the next day. Over the course of the week, several sympathy cards and a spectacular arrangement from Jakob arrived. I know they helped him feel loved and supported.
October 24, 2025
Laramie Jenkins (36)
Corey Snow (17)
Laramie
I turned out the light. Cooper was already on his side awaiting me in bed. I had seen him fling his underwear in the closet hamper. I smiled at the man I loved knowing he was fully naked for me. We so often were, but with Corey in the house, sometimes he kept boxers on.
A simple good night kiss turned into a second one. Then a third. His hand placed on my bare ass pulled us tighter into each other. He kissed me firmly, and I slightly moaned. My hand roamed up his back until my grip on his shoulder squeezed us together. Gently, we pushed our crotches into each other. It was a slow grind.
He came up for air. "We haven't made love in a week," he said.
"I know." I reached for Cooper's dick, and it was a crowbar. "Man, I'd love that in me."
"Want to?"
"Absolutely. I want you to fuck me so bad."
We kissed for a few more minutes. Our tongues stroked within our mouths while our hands stroked each other's groin. Our arms were pistons below the sheets generating a mechanical rhythm pulling on each other's cock.
Cooper moved the covers off my body and lunged toward my crotch. I softly moaned as his saliva coated my shaft. His tongue petted my hard dick over and over like as if it were Destiny. He swallowed it all making me lightly groan.
He was positioned at my side on his knees to where I could grope his cock as he sucked me. I worked it like I was milking a cow.
"Coop. Do me. Fuck me."
My lover reached for the lube in his nightstand. I grabbed a towel from mine.
"Oooohhh," I called out when a slick finger entered me. The probe rubbed my channel in a sensual pulse. Two fingers fucked me for a moment, opening me wider, and I hummed an approving moan.
We had no lights or candles, but our eyes had adjusted just enough to where I could see him coat his erection with lube.
I spread my legs and lifted as he positioned his cock at my hole. His first thrust went partially in. I sucked in air in a sudden gasp.
"All the way," I whispered.
Cooper pushed his cock fully within me. It filled me. We both moaned.
When Corey was in the house, we had learned to restrain our oral accompaniment, but it was undeniably glorious for being the first time we had fucked since ... I had lost track.
My hands caressed his back as he thrust in and out of me. He leaned down for us to kiss some more. One hand remained on his back; my other felt his ass cheek moving forward and withdrawing. I massaged his sexy butt as he continued to shove his manhood in my hole.
He groaned a little. I groaned a little.
"You feel so good," he whispered.
"You do too. I love you inside me. Fuck me, babe."
I groaned louder as he pounded my body harder. I grunted with each thrust. He did too.
We kissed hard. My moan transferred from my mouth to his. His cock slid in and out of my insides like a maestro's baton. His orchestra was my sexual gratification. He placed his cheek alongside mine, and we panted together. We moaned together. We gasped together. We groaned together.
"Babe. I needed this so badly. I'm so glad we're fucking," Cooper said.
"Keep fucking me. Don't stop."
Cooper got a little louder. I did too.
"Oh. Oh, Laramie. Oh honey."
"I love you in me. I love you, babe. Keep fucking me."
His thrusts were powerful. He moaned as his slick, hot, hard flesh stimulated the lining of my channel.
"I'm going to come. Oh. Oh babe."
We heard a crash in the kitchen.
"What was that?" I asked.
"I don't know. Oh. Oh. I'm coming in you, babe."
Cooper couldn't stop his orgasm. I didn't want him to. I pushed his ass harder into my body. He silently gasped as his cum filled me.
Then he gave out a gasp and crawled off me. He put on lounge pants. He opened the door and walked out of the room. I could tell all the lights were off. I saw light travel to our door as he flicked a light on. He came back a minute later.
"What was it?" I asked.
"It looks like a glass was spilled.
"Do you think it was Destiny?"
"No, the glass is back upright."
"Dear lord. Do you think Corey heard us?" I asked.
"I'm almost certain of it." Cooper shoved his face in his hands. "Oh lord. I'm not sure what to do."
I had no idea. Do you talk about it? Do you NOT talk about it? Surely a kid didn't want to talk about it.
I was appreciative that Cooper remembered that I had not come yet. Despite our embarrassment, I silently had a climax with his fist around the base of my cock and his tongue on its head.
The Next Morning
Corey
My selection was Frosted Flakes, Honey Nut Cheerios and Raisin Bran. I felt like Raisin Bran. Milk was low, but I had enough for my bowl. I wasn't sure if Dad and Laramie could both have enough.
I shut the fridge door after replacing the jug. After grabbing a spoon, I saw Dad coming out of the bedroom. He had on lounge pants and a black T-shirt. Laramie, in pajama bottoms and a tank top, was a few steps behind him.
"Good morning," Dad said.
"Morning," I quietly offered.
"I see you started coffee. Thank you," Dad said.
Laramie went for a mug. The coffee maker was still steaming and spitting its final glugs of brew. The two of them sat down with me. Uh oh.
"Um. About last night. Should we talk about that?" Dad said. He was trying to be open, but his body language made him look like a knife was being twisted into his gut.
"Can we talk about anything else?"
Laramie picked up a placemat. He was beet red, and he draped the placemat in front of his face. As much as I didn't want this conversation, I was slightly amused by his embarrassment.
"Sure. Fine." Dad was awkward. "How much did you hear?"
"Dad! Please."
"Fine. Fine."
Laramie got up. The coffee cycle was complete. It was his escape. He poured all three of us a cup.
"Thanks," Dad and I both said.
The air seemed so heavy. It was like it was not made of oxygen but unspoken words. I didn't want to talk about it. They didn't want to talk about it. But for some reason, it seemed like something we should talk about. They were probably concerned I was scarred for life or something. I just wanted to put it out of my mind.
We all moved around like zombies. Silent zombies. Slow, silent zombies. Not the moaning kind of zombies. Not the groaning, screwing kind of zombies. Not the Keep Fucking Me zombies.
"I know Mitchell experienced something similar in high school," Dad started again. "I just don't want you to carry around something that..."
"Dad! Seriously. You guys were screwing. Whatever. It's not like I have brain damage. Would you want to talk about your parents doing it? If Grandma and Grandpa Snow were in the guest room and you heard, would you want to strike up a conversation?
"Heavens no. I can't imagine anything more awful," Dad said.
"I can. It would be worse if it were Mom and Daryl."
Laramie snickered behind the placemat again. I yanked it down and gave him a stern look. I didn't how he interpreted it. He might have thought I meant to stop being silly. He might have thought I meant that I was fine and not to worry about it. He might have thought I meant that he should be more careful next time. For some reason I found amusement in him being so vulnerable.
"Okay. I know it bothered Mitch, so if you ever have questions..."
Questions. How do you ask someone to have sex? How do you know what to say during sex? Are you supposed to be loud during sex? How long is sex supposed to last? What do you do when sex is over? How do you know when the girl is finished? What do you do with the condom after sex? Are you supposed to say you liked it after sex? Am I supposed to say I've never had sex before? Do you do it completely naked the first time? Are you supposed to buy her something first? Does it feel different when I come inside a girl? Is my dick long enough? Do you take a shower after sex? What does sex smell like? How long do you wait before you do it again? If I come first, what do I do with the girl then? Is sex supposed to be the most important thing in the world?
"Nah, I'm good," I said.
"We need milk," Laramie proclaimed to the walls after finishing the jug.
We didn't say much about anything for the rest of breakfast. Later this morning, we were getting things I needed for a Halloween event I was attending next week. We set a time of 10 o'clock to leave. I headed to my room upstairs.
Before I showered, I texted Aiden.
"I heard Dad and Laramie having sex last night."
He immediately called.
"No waaaaaaaay!"
"Shh."
"I wasn't just going to text about that. What happened?"
I shut my door and talked softly.
"I went down to the kitchen to get some cold water out of the fridge. I thought I heard them. I walked near their door and ... I knew."
"Were they sucking or fucking?!"
"I don't know! I wasn't watching them. I couldn't see them!! I'm not sure if their door was 100 percent closed or not. It may have been open a crack. But they got pretty loud."
"Duuuuuuude! That's crazy."
"Wait. They were screwing. I heard Laramie say, `Keep fucking me. Don't stop.' Gawd. It was so embarrassing."
"That's so ridiculous man! I can't believe it."
"What would you do if you heard your parents?"
"Faint in disbelief. I hardly even see them kiss."
"Oh, Dad and Laramie do all the time."
"Sweet."
"I guess. He's mushier than Mom, but she and Daryl kiss around me too."
"You're lucky, Cor'."
"Because I heard my dad having sex??"
"No. You come from a loving family."
"They got divorced, remember?"
"They get along. Your father still cares for your mother, doesn't he?"
I thought about that. Right after the divorce, I could tell Mom was very angry with Dad. It took a while, but ... once she understood, they started patching things up.
"Yeah. He loves her in his own way. Not like husband-and-wife love anymore, but ... yeah."
"You're lucky."
"Maybe. I guess in that way." I looked at the clock. "I gotta jump in the shower. We're going shopping for Vampire Prom. Have fun this weekend."
"Yeah. Fun. Sure."
"Bye, Aiden."
"Buy, buddy."
Once again, I worried about my friend. Aiden's home wasn't loving.
I walked to the bathroom naked. Dad and Laramie couldn't really see for long if they looked up. They were guys anyway.
The hot water felt good. I could feel it washing the sleep off of me. Aiden's words were true. I did have a loving family. As gross as it was to hear them last night, in some tiny —completely super-vomity way — it was slightly sweet to know they continued to love each other. And show it. As much as I was repulsed, listening to them for a few seconds made me hard last night. I didn't want them to come out and see me after I knocked over the glass.
I looked down and saw my dick totally hard again. It wasn't as big as Aiden's penis. I hoped it was okay.
* * * *
Some readers might have questions about me. Please see the blog post "Mom" at timothylane414stories.blogspot.com
Email: timothylane414@gmail.com