Laramie

Laramie Chapter 14

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As a reminder, the previous chapter took place in the fall of 2022.

14

Early December 2022

Laramie Jenkins (33)
Freddy Spaulding (35)

Laramie

"How was your birthday?" I asked.

"Fine, I guess," Freddy replied. "We're actually having somewhat of a party this weekend."

"Nice. Hope my card arrived."

"It did. Thank you."

"I have news."

"Spill."

"Cooper spent the night last night. We had sex for the first time."

"What?! What, what, what? I thought you guys were just friends!"

"Things have changed."

"Why haven't you said anything? I feel left out."

"Well, it just sort of started last week, and our first date was horrible."

"Why?"

"I'd prefer not to get into details, but when things started to get ... hot, I ... Oh jeez, Freddy, I ruined it. It was embarrassing."

"Okay." He paused. "I won't push."

"But we had a second date last night. I loved the sex. I hope he did. I think he did. He came twice."

"TMI. So, what happened with his boyfriend?"

I gave a deep sigh. "That's just it. He's kind of seeing both of us."

"Really!? Well, that's kind of jerky. I'm not sure what to think of this Cooper."

"He's been upfront about it. We have feelings for each other; he's trying to sort it out."

"Ohhhhh, Larreeeee. I don't want to see you hurt."

"I'm willing to risk it. When Cooper was in my arms naked last night, I had never been happier. Yeah, this is all a risk. But ... I'm taking it. I really think he's the one."

"And if he's not? Do you think you can still be friends?"

"I'll make it work. I can't let Cooper out of my life."

"You're walking a tightrope, buddy."

Freddy

I didn't like this. Larry had fallen for this guy, and I questioned if he was being taken advantage of.

"Hey, Lar', just so you know, however this all works out, I'm always here."

"I appreciate that. But, Freddy, I feel good. Really. I haven't felt this alive in a long time. Cooper makes me feel ... I don't know ... even more than Micah did."

"But you had an actual relationship with Micah."

"I did. But Cooper's different. I feel so comfortable with him."

"What makes him so special?"

"Well, aside from being super handsome, he's just ... kind. I rarely shared all my dark stuff with Micah. I can open up to Cooper. He knows all the bad stuff about me and ... he is still there. I don't know how I could possibly be more vulnerable, and yet ... he is there for me. I love him."

"I'll hope for the best then."

"No matter what, I'll be okay. However it turns out."

As we hung up, I questioned if that would be true. I just feared his heart was going to be broken.

"What's going on?" Josh asked.

"Larry has started dating this guy he has fallen for."

"Great. Wait, right?" my husband asked with reservations.

"I'm not sure, Josh. He's head over heels; I can tell. But this ... Cooper still seems to be with another guy too."

"Oh."

"I just don't want Larry to be hurt."

"Everything seems to be upfront about the situation, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I hope this dude isn't just screwing Larry for fun while being a boyfriend to someone else."

"So, they are having sex."

"It would appear to be."

"Well, before you get too pessimistic, didn't you screw around in college?"

"That was college! Yeah, I'd go to bed with guys on dates, but ... if I was in love, I wouldn't just cheat on them. I guess that's what I'm worried about. I don't want Larry to be taken advantage of."

Sunday

Laramie Jenkins (33)
Corey Snow (14)

Corey

Brad gave me a huge hug when I handed him his Christmas card. He was such a fun guy. Even though I'm a kid, he has never made me feel little or stupid. I feel like myself, and he is himself around me. I like that.

I went to the table where the rest of the group was sitting. I had two more cards in my hand. I carefully scooted my chair up to the table.

Brad brought Mr. Larry his cappuccino.

"Mr. Pike, Mr. Larry, I wanted to give you something. It isn't very much, but I wanted to say Merry Christmas." I handed them their cards.

"You can call me Emory if you want. We're on equal footing here," he said with a wink.

They both opened their cards. They read their message, and I hoped what I said was okay. I couldn't tell for sure, but they seemed to like it. Dad and I had cut squares of wrapping paper and folded them in half to create simple envelopes. The inside was blank, and I wrote: "The next cinnamon roll is on me. Corey." I put a five-dollar bill inside so that they could buy it.

"You are the sweetest kid," Emory said. I think I kind of turned red, but it made me feel good.

Mr. Larry stared at my words. He didn't say anything. I thought maybe he didn't like it. His hand kept rubbing his moustache and beard over and over. He didn't even open the five inserted in the giftwrap. He was so quiet, we all looked at him. He finally noticed us staring.

"Yes. Yes, for sure. You are a sweet kid. And ... and I've enjoyed meeting you this year too. I hope you have a fantastic Christmas as well, champ," Mr. Larry said.

I preferred to be called by my own name, but I thought his eyes were watery and I let it slide. I couldn't tell if I had somehow upset him, but I figured he would like it.

Brad brought everyone their beverages. He hugged me from behind. "The sundae at Caramel Moo will be awesome, but your words were the best of all." Then he kissed me on the cheek with a sloppy kiss. "You're a good person."

It made me giggle.

"Hey! How come Brad gets a sundae!?" Mr. Emory called out, like his feelings were hurt. I knew he was joking.

"He works here. I can't get him a cinnamon roll," I explained.

"So there!" Brad said. He snapped his fingers and spun around to walk back to the counter.

Mr. Larry kept looking at the card, then he looked out the window, but not at us. I got up to choose something for my coffee.

Laramie

What was it about Corey's words that struck me? He wished me a fantastic Christmas. I tried to think of when I ever had one. Was it when I was in grade school? Maybe junior high? While Christmas had just become "another day" over the years, his simple message made me think how this Christmas was a little bit better having these friends in my life.

"You've done a wonderful job with him," Emory said. "He's a great kid."

"Natalie probably deserves most of the credit," Cooper said.

"Bullshit," defended Mitch. It startled me out of my distraction. "I've seen you with him. You're an incredible father. Don't sell yourself short." He leaned over and kissed Cooper.

Corey returned quickly. "What did you put in?" his father asked.

"Just milk."

"That's it?"

"It's all I needed."

Cooper looked at my hand. He rubbed his forefinger over the plastic bandage. I wished he could hold my finger like the other night.

"It's getting better," I said, focusing on the moment. "I probably won't even need a Band-Aid in a couple of days."

"What happened?" Corey asked.

"I sliced it with a knife," I said.

"Ewww," the group said simultaneously. Except Cooper.

"I was a dunce."

"What's a dunce?" Corey asked.

"An idiot. I was a stupid idiot. I was in the kitchen, and I wasn't very careful."

"Keep that in mind, son, when you are fixing these dinners," Cooper said to Corey, who nodded.

"Corey fixed us fajitas last night," Mitch offered.

"Marvelous!" Emory said. "How nice to have an emerging chef in the house."

"He's really good in the kitchen," Cooper said with pride. Somehow watching Cooper interact with his son made him more alluring, more attractive, more ... Cooper. My love was growing each day.

Corey started talking about his recent interests in cooking. Cooper got up to talk to Brad for a moment.

"So, looking forward to Christmas?" I asked Corey.

"Totally. Mostly being out of school for two weeks."

"I thought you liked school," Mitch said.

"I do, but ... yeah. We all need a break."

"After two weeks with your family, will you be ready to go back?" I asked.

"I actually like time with family. Sometimes I wish Mom and Dad and I could do more things together, but it is what it is."

"You kind of get double Christmas this way," I said.

"Hmm. Maybe. Maybe not. Yeah, I guess I get presents from both of my parents separately. Not that it matters."

"Do you like spending time with your parents?" I asked.

"Yeah. Until Dad gets all mushy."

We laughed.

Cooper returned to the table. He heard us laughing, but we wrapped up the conversation.

"So, Corey, my man, are you and this girl making out all the time now?"

"Emoreeee," Cooper warned.

Corey laughed. "No. But. We have kissed a few times."

"OoooOOOooo," the table swooned.

"Tell us everything," Mitch insisted.

"I don't know. You know. It was after Choir. We were waiting for our rides. I passed her a note before practice started. It said that I liked her. After Choir she came up to me and said she liked me too. We held hands. When we felt no one was looking, I ... leaned in for a kiss and she did too."

"Why didn't you want anyone to see?" I asked.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't want anyone to talk about us. But we held hands after that, and people know now. We kiss each day after school."

"Look at you," Cooper said.

"It makes me happy."

I looked at Cooper. He looked at me. I knew exactly how Corey felt. Cooper made me happy.

Twenty minutes later we were heading to our cars. Mitchell said he needed to use the bathroom first. As we paused near the door to Joe, I pulled Corey to the side.

"Hey, kiddo," I smiled. "I just wanted to thank you for this," I said, holding up the card. "It was sweet. It's probably the only gift I will get this year, but you should know that I don't think any other gift could beat it."

Corey smiled, but his expression twisted into one of confusion. How could a cinnamon roll possibly be the best gift?

"Do you not give gifts with your family?" Cooper's son asked.

I was right at six feet tall; Corey was probably about five. I sat down so that he could look down on me instead. I held Corey's forearms.

"No. I haven't seen my family in a few years."

Corey didn't know what to say. He was probably wondering how circumstances could be that way.

"Why not?" he softly asked.

"It's complicated, but ... they don't really care if I come home or not. That's why your words touched me. I haven't had a fantastic Christmas in a while. In that moment ..." My eyes actually watered, and I tried to hold it back. "... for just a second, I ..." I wiped my eyes. "It just felt like Christmas. So, thank you."

I stood and hugged Cooper's son. Corey wrapped his arms around me. I had never wanted to be a parent particularly. But if I was blessed with a wonderful kid like this, I could begin to understand how children could bring joy to parents.

"So ... what do you do on Christmas then if you aren't with family? Who are you with?"

"Well, no one actually. I make myself a nice dinner and enjoy the holiday with some quietness."

"By yourself?! That's not fair." Corey looked at Cooper. "Dad, that's not fair."

"Well. No, it's not. But life doesn't always play along with how you want things to go."

"Can he spend Christmas with us?" Corey asked.

"Aw," both Cooper and I said.

"Buddy, we're going to Grandma's and Grandpa's after I pick you up Christmas Day."

"Oh. Can he come with us?"

The two of us chuckled.

"My friend, that is so incredibly sweet. But it's not nice just to invite another person to go to someone's house. That would be intrusive." I rummaged my fingers through Corey's hair. "But you wanting to make sure I'm okay means the world to me. I'll be fine, kiddo."

I kissed him on the top of his head. Then I kissed Cooper on the cheek. Corey didn't flinch. I'm glad he was used to men showing affection.

Mitch returned from the restroom. "Everybody ready?"

We walked to our cars. I was somehow in a Grinch phase. It was like my heart grew three sizes. If something did develop between Cooper and me, I could easily see Corey being a part of it. I was comfortable with that. But then I wondered, if he loved Mitch also — after them being together for a few years — would Corey be angry at me if I came between them? This situation was so complex.

Corey

I couldn't shake the idea of Mr. Larry being alone at Christmas. He was a nice man. No one should have to be lonely on that day. I felt bad.

I didn't see why we couldn't invite him. Was one extra person a big deal? Maybe Mom would have a better idea. Maybe. It probably would be best to just leave it alone.

I texted Grace about it. She called me "sweet." I liked that.

After we hung up, I thought about it until I fell asleep. I couldn't picture not seeing parents or family over the holidays. That had to be weird. I wondered what happened that caused things to fall apart for him and his family. It had to hurt his feelings.

It was nice of Mr. Larry to hug me. Usually, only family members hugged me. It felt ... good.

And then I felt sad for him again.

Tuesday

Laramie Jenkins
Cooper Snow

Laramie

After making love to Cooper last week, he was on my mind constantly. Despite Freddy's reservations, I thought about him all the time. I tried not to let it distract me. If anything, time flew by when I thought about him, about "us."

I still thought the two of us working out was a longshot. He would eventually make it work with Mitch, but I was enjoying being in love, and I wasn't going to let doubt overtake me.

I finally texted him.

"I know we have the dinner party Saturday, but I'd love to see you before then. Are you free tonight?"

It didn't take long for him to agree. We opted for pizza, which was about as casual as the two of us got. But I loved the idea.

I scrubbed down with my most fragrant shower gels. Not that I could compete with garlic and parmesan, but I knew a hug and kiss would await me in the parking lot. My dick got hard just sudsing it up knowing it was for Cooper.

Neither of us had discussed staying over, so I felt it was just pizza. No sex.

Lance had told him about an old college spot he had gone to with Trent called Roman Column. We decided to try it.

I wasn't sure what to wear for pizza. I decided on a navy-blue T-shirt. It was slightly snug on me, but I kind of liked that look. It really made my arms look big. Cooper mentioned his approval of hats, so I put on my brown cowboy hat this time. Tan jeans completed my casual look.

Even if nothing intimate was happening following dinner, I was still excited to see him.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw his car. It looked like he beat me.

As I got out of the car, I noticed him waiting. He had not yet gone inside. Jesus, I loved seeing him. It was like Christmas lights were turned on inside my whole body each time I looked at him. Even if that all came to a crashing stop in the weeks ahead, I knew Cooper was making me happy in the present — and I had no problem embracing that.

Cooper

Oh wow. Laramie was wearing a cowboy hat. I'm not sure what my attraction for hats was all about, but just seeing him in that tight shirt and cowboy hat and his facial scruff made my penis start to get hard. We hadn't talked about anything following. I don't think we were expecting sex. But I suddenly wanted it.

But then my thoughts of what I was doing to Mitchell came crashing over me. It was clear I had lost control over my life. All three of us were walking a tightrope together.

He walked up to me, and we kissed. Two people walked by us. I think they glanced our way, but they lightly smiled following, so I don't think we repulsed them.

"How was your day?" Laramie asked.

"Good. I was looking forward to seeing you after your text."

Glancing over the menu, we found common ground on Canadian bacon and mushroom. We decided upon a large over a medium. What was an extra slice calorie-wise? Actually, we probably didn't want to know.

"I have news," I started, as the server walked away.

He didn't say anything. He just gave me his full attention looking directly into my eyes.

"Mitchell knows it's you I'm dating."

"Oh? Oh. How did he find out? Did you finally tell him?"

"He figured it out Sunday when I already knew what had happened to your finger."

He instinctively touched his finger. He thought the bandage might be able to come off tomorrow. He was going to inspect it in the morning.

"Did it cause problems?" he asked.

I sighed. "Kind of. He says he now knows what I felt like with Derek."

"Man. I like Mitchell. I do, Cooper. I – I – I don't enjoy seeing him hurt."

"Neither do I. I'm just making a mess of my life and dragging you two down with it."

"I said I wanted my chance with you," Laramie said. "Maybe it is my fault for moving you into this position. Maybe I pushed too hard."

I hesitated. He could tell I entered deep thought.

"These are my decisions. I own them."

"I still love you. That hasn't changed. Whenever we are together, the world is alive. I love every minute that I am with you."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same about our time together," I said, looking directly into his eyes. "But we've reached a point that I probably have to hurt someone."

We were quiet. For a few minutes, we just drank our beverages. I tried not to spiral into all sorts of doubt. I was questioning everything.

"I don't know what to do, Laramie."

"I'd love to make the choice for you, obviously, but it is your choice to make."

"Right." I looked at my empty tea glass.

I put my foot on Laramie's. They were pressed together.

"If things went well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go further tonight. I was hoping you would fuck me tonight, but ..." he said.

"... but, yeah. Not tonight."

I reached over and held his finger. A small smile formed on our lips. I held my finger for several minutes.

The pizza arrived. It was piping hot, and we knew to let it cool a minute. Besides, I didn't want to let go.

Saturday

Laramie Jenkins
Cooper Snow

Laramie

Cooper had called me earlier in the week. Corey had managed to invite me to join them with his family for Christmas Day. The kid was so sweet. To be so worried about an adult when he was his age, there was an empathy and maturity there that was inspiring. I knew Cooper was nervous about me meeting his family. They certainly couldn't be worse than mine.

I had been looking forward to his dinner party all week, but I woke up feeling bleh. I was hoping it would get better, but it wasn't. My stomach felt terrible, and I thought I had a slight fever.

Damn! This was going to be a nice dinner, and he planned it without Mitchell. I was going to have to cancel.

—

I was hoping lunch would help. I didn't eat much. Some buttered toast and an apple was all I felt I could do.

Sadly, I felt worse. In fact, by mid-afternoon, my stomach was nauseous. I was completely sick. I couldn't be around other people.

Fuck!! Why did I have to ruin everything!?

I grabbed my cell. For a second, my eyes watered having to cancel on Cooper. I wiped them on my sleeve. I dialed.

"Hey, handsome," he answered.

I lightly chuckled. But I hated telling him the news. "Thanks."

He could tell something was off. "Are you okay?"

"No. I'm totally bummed."

"What is it? What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I'm sick. It's like a ... a stomach bug or something. I haven't thrown up. Yet. But I feel wanky. Kind of queasy. I feel a little stuffed up. I was hoping it was just temporary, but ... there's no way I can be around people tonight, Cooper."

"Really? You sure?"

"I am, babe. It would be completely irresponsible, and all those people would hate me if I gave it to them."

"You're not just saying this because you'd feel odd around Mitch, because he won't be here."

"That's not it. Really. I feel sucky."

"I'm sorry. Man, I'll miss you."

"Me too. Maybe we can see each other before Christmas."

"I hope. Well, rest up. I hope you feel better."

"Yeah. Hopefully." Fuck!! I hated this. I hated doing this to Cooper. "I'm very sorry, Cooper."

I stretched out on the couch. I didn't have the chills, but I still draped a blanket over me. It was comforting. I tried to nap. Eventually, I drifted off. It must have been an hour later when I awoke with my insides gurgling. Fuck.

I threw off the blanket and walked to the hall bathroom. I could feel it. It was eminent. I leaned down on my knees and waited.

The sound of puke splattering in the water of a toilet was always the worst sound in the world. It was disgusting at every level. I coughed. Then a second round hit me. Smaller, but still violent.

I felt like shit.

After breathing heavily for a moment, I recaptured my breath and stood. I grabbed some cleaner and made sure the area was not only clean but disinfected. I washed my hands thoroughly and grabbed a towel to wipe off my face. I carried it into the bedroom closet and tossed it in the dirty clothes basket.

I felt like shit.

I looked in the mirror. I looked like shit. Still, I felt like I needed to rinse my throat. I lumbered into the kitchen and got some ice water.

I sat upright on the couch. After a few minutes I felt a little better. Perhaps puking my guts out was what I needed.

I imagined guests were arriving at Cooper's house. Not being there totally sucked, but I still hoped everyone had a fantastic time. Without me. Fuck.

Dinner wasn't in the cards for me, so I thought I might try to sleep some more. I didn't think I had a fever anymore, but I felt a bit stuffed up for some reason. What kind of bug was this? Was it going to last a day or two? Or a week? I hoped I didn't have the flu.

Once I lay down, I fell asleep quickly. I wasn't sure if I heard something or dreamt something or if my body was just ready to get up again. It was 9:30. I got up to make some tea. I put a kettle on.

Cooper

As I shut the door, I scanned the room. There were a few dishes to deal with, but nothing was overwhelming. For having a houseful of guests, the place still looked fairly nice. I thought the dinner party had gone well. I blew out the candles. It wasn't quite 10, but I turned out most of the lights. Sitting on the couch, I reflected on a wonderful evening. The Christmas tree was still illuminated. The brightness of each light pleased me. I felt the essence of the holiday.

Laramie's card still slumbered beneath the tree. I had given all the others to my guests.

I pulled out my cell phone and texted.

"Tonight went well. I missed you."

"I missed being there. I'm glad everyone had a good time," he replied.

"I wasn't sure if you would be up. I figured you would be resting."

He called.

"Why text. I'd prefer to hear your voice."

"How do you feel?"

"Threw up once. Kind of felt better after that. Sluggish. Tired. Slightly stuffed up but not really coughing."

"Not fun," I said sympathetically. "I just ... just wanted to ... tell you ..." I didn't want to say those three words for the first time over the phone. "I missed you all night."

"I slept for about four hours, but now I'm up again. For a little bit at least."

"Drink lots of fluids. At least that's what they say."

"Like a pint of whiskey?"

"Ha. Not on my watch." We just listened to silence for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say. "I'll let you get back to your rest."

"I'm glad you called. Good night, Coop."

I sat in a trance for a moment. I didn't get up. I didn't turn on the television. I just vegged.

Then in a flurry, I grabbed my coat, picked up his card and ran out to the car.

Twenty-five minutes later, I called him again.

"Are you still up?"

"Yeah. I'll probably turn in shortly."

"Are you dressed?"

"Really? Is this a sex call when I'm sick?"

I laughed. "Put something on and come to the door."

Ninety seconds later, the front door opened. I was standing 15 feet away.

"What is this? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." I gestured to his doorstep.

"You're insane, Cooper. What is this?"

He picked up two bags and my card.

"I ran to the supermarket to get you soup. Ironically, they had chicken noodle in the deli. I also have a beef vegetable. That's all they had. I thought they might be good for you tomorrow. In the other bag is some of my leftover cheesy hashbrowns and a slice of cheesecake — when you are up to it."

"And the card?"

"I had one for everyone at the party. I ... wanted to deliver yours before I went to bed."

"You're a nut. It could have waited."

"I didn't want to."

"I am sure I look completely horrible," he said, leaning down.

"You look awful."

"Thanks a lot."

"You're still sexy as all get out."

"Too late. You already insulted me."

Laramie moved back to set the two small bags inside. He stepped into the doorframe with the card. He ran his finger under the seal and opened it. I watched him open the card. He smiled at the printed greeting. His eyes scanned my written words. Those three words. His mouth dropped and he placed the card to his chest. He looked up at me.

"I love you," I said. "I wanted to tell you tonight."

"Great. A night I can't kiss you or even get near you."

"I know."

"I love you, too, Cooper. But you know that."

"I know."

He held up his finger to show me it had healed. I held up my finger and then with my other hand gripped it tight. He did the same. We smiled at our mirrored symbolic gesture.

"It's rather chilly, so I should let you shut the door. I will see you next week. Sometime." I waved to him. As I saw the door shut, I noticed he opened the card to look at it again.

Laramie

Cooper had said it. He loves me. He was crazy to come all the way over here. The fact that he brought me soup made him even more adorable to me. What a nut. What a wonderful man. He was the best man in the world to me at the moment.

He loves me!!!

I read the card for the billionth time.

But if he loved me, what did he feel about Mitchell?

The Next Night

Laramie Jenkins
Grayson Jenkins

Grayson

"So. You're feeling better?"

"Than yesterday, yes," my brother replied. "Overall ... eh. I suppose it is a slight improvement. At least I'm not throwing up and can handle the soup Cooper brought me."

"That was sweet of him."

I loved hearing the subtle nuance in Larry's voice. I wasn't sure if this relationship — which he wasn't even in one yet — would work out or not. But his infatuation with this Cooper had made a difference. I knew he loved him, but I hoped it wouldn't be a dangerous path. Larry had never really been very lucky with romance working out for him. I'd love for it to happen this time. I just had my reservations. With a past boyfriend and a teenage son, I didn't see Cooper being a good fit for him. Except I heard it in my brother's voice. There was something ... real ... there.

"Yeah. I hated missing his dinner party. He drove some things over after all his guests had left."

"More than soup?" I asked.

"Some leftovers and ... a card."

"Nice."

Larry got quiet. I expected him to say something further, but he hesitated.

"He told me he loved me, Gray."

Mind blown.

"Wow. And ... how did that make you feel?"

"Every emotion in the book. I mean, we couldn't even be near each other because I was sick, but he came over to tell me ... so that was just ... magical. Then I was frustrated I couldn't kiss him, then I was scared I would somehow fuck it up — as I always do. Then ... I thought of Mitch and felt worried."

"Go on," I encouraged.

"I love that he loves me. Obviously. We are both feeling it. But I've known Cooper for months. He loves Mitch."

"So, he's in love with two people."

"I guess."

"Red flag, Larry. I know you love this guy, but ... this is a total minefield. It's going to blow up and someone is going to get hurt. I don't want it to be you."

"I get that. I do. Part of me is telling me I just need to walk away. But the rest of me can't wait to see him again. To hold him again."

"And ... you've had sex, right?"

"Yes. Loved it. And before you go there, he isn't using me. He's been very upfront the whole time."

Upfront. What exactly was upfront? Hey, I want to get back with my old boyfriend but why don't we fuck for a while? Want to be my piece on the side? I had to admit I didn't know the gay norm. Maybe they all did screw around. But I knew that wasn't what Larry wanted.

"Tread carefully, brother," I offered softly, but with sincerity.

Laramie

I could understand Grayson's reservations. There were so many things that could go wrong. On paper, we would look to be a clear case of what NOT to do. But I felt Cooper and I were both in a place where we saw something there. Or was I just wishful thinking?

It didn't matter. I was so in love with him, I was going to see this through, hurt or not. It was too late for that.

"I know you think I'm some lovestruck kid," I started.

"Because you are," he quickly interjected.

"Gray, I've a good head on my shoulders. In love or not, I'm not going to do anything foolish. But when `the one' is standing in front of me, I'm not going to run from it. I'm going to take my chance. Who knows if I'll ever have another chance at love like this?"

"There's a zillion guys out there, Lar'."

"None of them are Cooper. He's – he's – he's everything. He's the whole package."

"I wish you luck then. Just be careful. I'll let you get back to resting. Love you, brother."

"Me too. Thanks, Gray."

After we ended the call, I roamed to the kitchen to make yet one more cup of hot tea. My stomach wasn't queasy. Maybe I'd have some of Cooper's hashbrown side dish. My head just seemed a bit clogged. Still, I thought I felt a bit better.

Several minutes later I breathed in the vapor from my mug. As I inhaled the warmth, I thought about Gray's words. Both he and Freddy didn't trust Cooper. But they didn't know him. They didn't know the kind soul he was. They didn't know the good father he was. All they knew was Mitch was still in the picture. And I, too, couldn't just ignore it.

Before going to bed, I texted him that his hashbrowns rocked.

A Few Days Later

Laramie Jenkins
Cooper Snow

Cooper

Laramie and I had texted during the week. I was glad he was feeling better. He wanted to have dinner. I figured I would pack an overnight bag for if we both felt it should go that way. We didn't sleep together after pizza a while back and he had been sick. We sure wouldn't be having sex at my parents on Christmas, and then I had Corey for a week. This date could be the last night we could potentially have sex this year. If I was making a decision between him and Mitch, could this be the last time we made love if I chose Mitchell?

I wanted to give Laramie something for Christmas. I had no idea what. Everyone had their own tastes for their home. His was a bit eclectic, so I could have been safe. I dedicated my lunch hour to begin the search. I finished after work that day. I had time to wrap the gift before heading to his place.

I had told the man I loved him, so this date would probably be taken to the next level in so many intangible ways. However we may take it, those words have an impact. I started to question if we had gone too far too fast. But even if we had, I loved him. I knew I loved Laramie.

He let me in just before 7 o'clock. I set an overnight bag near the front door.

"If you've brought that, you can set it in the bedroom," he smiled.

"You invited me to dinner. You didn't invite me to spend the night," I deviously teased.

"Consider it an open invitation," he said pulling me in for a kiss.

We stood next to the door and kissed for a couple of minutes. His hand was on the back of my head, pressing our mouths further together. Our kissing was borderline sloppy. The first difference of saying those three words had made itself evident.

"If you weren't staying the night, I'd have you take me right this instant," he breathed into my ear.

"I take it dinner isn't here."

He laughed. "I was waiting until you arrived to order. Thai, Chinese or American?"

"Which is the kindest to your stomach?"

He smiled. "I can make anything dangerous."

"Thai sounds nice," I returned, smiling.

Laramie phoned in our order. He chose basil fried rice with chicken. I opted for something I hadn't tried: Sach Ko Ang with shrimp. It sounded good.

Laramie's kitchen had a bar top. I could tell he had cleaned. The place looked a little more spruced up. I sat at one of the bar stools while he fiddled in the refrigerator. He held up a peach tea and a flavored black cherry sparkling water as if to offer me a choice. I chose the tea. When he put the other back, I saw several beers chilled in the fridge. I smiled that he chose to have tea with me. He pulled down two glasses and filled them with ice. I found watching him do the simplest things adorable. The man was just putting ice in glasses, but I was captivated.

I knew I was in love.

He sat next to me. He held up his glass. "Cheers." We clinked our iced teas.

I asked about work. He said he was swamped, and yet he still took off Monday because of the stomach bug. He had worked late the rest of the week to make up time.

"I hadn't been out of the shower ten minutes when you showed up," he chuckled.

I stood and moved forward to hold him. "No wonder you smell so wonderful." I kissed his neck. I heard him breathe deeply. I nibbled his ear. His slight moan was ethereal, but I heard it. I unbuttoned the top two buttons on his bright cobalt blue, long-sleeved shirt. My lips kissed his throat. My tongue protruded and licked down to where his chest hair began.

"Coooooopeeeerrrr," he whispered.

His hands gripped my head and pulled my face up for a kiss.

"I got hard the moment you entered the front door," he said. "Right now, I have a bed post in my briefs. If we don't stop, I'm going to have to answer the door with a hard-on that even my jeans can't conceal."

He gave me a peck on the lips. The back of my hand graced his firm bulge. His hand groped my erection protruding in my Dockers pants. I was dying to rip his jeans open and consume his stiff penis as an appetizer. But then I lost my courage. I was certainly bolder than I used to be, but I still worried I would come off as a lunatic. I let the moment subside. But I still couldn't wait to be naked with him.

We returned to conversation. He spoke of the ongoing projects that were intended as Christmas presents. He had to finish two smaller pieces tomorrow. A customer was fine with the final one being picked up Christmas Eve, Saturday.

"You're working right down to the last minute."

"Yeah. Sunday would have almost been peaceful to be here alone."

"Hey," I said firmly. "If going to my family is an inconvenience, then we can make Corey understand."

"No. I'm fine. I am truly touched by the gesture. I can sleep in late that morning. You don't pick him up until after lunch, right?"

"Correct. We'll swing by from there."

He glanced at my overnight baggage.

"You brought a small suitcase. As much as I would hope you are staying several days, I ... don't think that's it."

"Well, it is my smallest one. I have to dress fairly professionally tomorrow. But it's only a half day since Christmas Eve is on Saturday. However, your Christmas gift is in there, so I needed something slightly bigger than a gym-type bag."

"Oh." He was instantly taken aback. My mention of a gift wasn't received well.

"Uh oh. I've said something wrong."

"No. No, not at all. Can you ... excuse me a moment. If the door rings, I paid for everything online, including tip, so just accept it."

"Uh ... okay."

Laramie

I darted to my office. Cooper saw me come out with scissors and dash into my bedroom. I was certain he was confused.

Fuck. I wasn't quite ready with his gift, but I figured I had until Christmas. I couldn't just let him give me something and not have something in return. I loved him, for fuck's sake.

I had already selected a box, so I had that. I just knew it was incomplete. Hopefully Cooper would understand.

I had a reputation in the family for being the best at wrapping gifts. But using the bed and me being in a hurry, it wasn't necessarily my best work. I noticed my hands shaking. Was I excited to give it to him or nervous that he wouldn't like it?

Two minutes later, the doorbell rang. Cooper thanked the driver.

"Dinner is here," Cooper called out.

Fifteen seconds later, I emerged from the bedroom. "Okay. Done."

"What was all that??" Cooper said in honest surprise.

"It's fine," I said, not offering anything further.

We spread out the containers around the kitchen table.

"Mmmm! This is outstanding," he said by his third bite.

"Agreed. I'm glad we chose this."

Over dinner, he gave me a crash course on his two siblings and their spouses. He hoped he had prepared me enough for the upcoming visit. I felt I could weather the storm. Just the drive with him and Corey sounded nice.

The meal was finished, but we didn't even pick up the containers. We just enjoyed each other's company for a while. Although we weren't talking about anything particularly fascinating, we seemed to be caught up in each other's words. Maybe it was because we were engrossed in looking into each other's eyes. His were the purest blue. I felt a comforted with Cooper. I think he felt it with me as well.

I loved him.

After an hour of conversation, we decided to clear the containers and clean the table.

Cooper carried his bag to the bedroom. My heart started racing just thinking about the night. Naked. Kissing. Sex. Him lying beside me. I tried to think of something else so I wouldn't get hard. He walked back into the living room. He glanced around the room a moment. I didn't have a tree, only an arrangement of candles and garland on my coffee table. He placed the gift next to that.

"I wasn't expecting a gift. I thought the card that said `I love you' was ... was the most wonderful thing." My glance led his eyes to a wooden sleigh. It was positioned next to the television. It probably stood a foot tall. I had received a few other cards. His was standing on top of the stack.

"Well, don't get your hopes up." He rolled his eyes. "This is by no means amazing."

We sat on the couch. He handed me the gift. By its size and shape, it was pretty indicative that it was a book. I ripped off the paper and revealed a heavy coffee table book on the Jackson Bend courthouse.

"You told me you've always been impressed with the courthouse here."

"It's magnificent."

"I thought this book was beautiful." I nodded at his assessment. "When I bought it, the owner of the bookstore said the author still worked at the courthouse. I darted over there at the end of the workday today to get her to sign it." Cooper turned to the autograph in the front.

To Laramie,

Thank you for respecting one of
Jackson Bend's most wonderful
treasures.

There was a signature, but if the name wasn't printed on the page, we wouldn't have been able to decipher it.

"I hope you don't already have it."

"No. No, I don't. It's wonderful," I said, looking at the book. "You're wonderful," I said looking at him. "It's absolutely perfect."

I kissed him. Then I stood to walk to the bedroom. I came out a minute later with Cooper's gift. It stood about a foot tall, maybe an inch or two taller.

"I just wrapped it a while ago. Probably not my best work." I nervously handed it to him. "Merry Christmas, Coop."

He tore the paper away to reveal a plain brown cardboard box. He popped the tape that kept the box closed, tearing it away.

I pleaded to myself: Please like it, please like it, please like it.

He opened the flaps and gently lifted it out. My sculpture was two abstract figures facing each other. It was a modern sculpture. The taller of the figures had enough sculpted angles to make out a face. The other one was an inch or two shorter. There were no distinguishing features of clothing or body parts. Just two figures slightly curved toward each other. Each one of them had an arm reached out. The slight cuts indicated fingers as the two hands just barely touched.

"It's – it's called `Father and Son.' I wanted to add a base to it with a nameplate on it that said, `Father and Son; Cooper and Corey.' I've been so busy — and then I got sick — I wasn't able to get it finished as much as I wanted."

"Wait, you made this? You carved this?" Cooper asked.

"Yeah. I've been working on it when I can for the past few weeks."

"I thought you did cabinetry and carpentry. I didn't know you carved sculptures."

"I don't really. I dabbled with it on the farm growing up. It's slow. But I ... I wanted to do this for you."

"I LOVE IT! It's wonderful. It's incredible," he gushed. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"I wish I could have finished it."

"I love it just as it is! You don't have to do another thing. I know just where I want it in the house. I had been trying to figure out what should go on the mantle. I figured once the garland came off, I would go pick up something. This ... this is ..."

He planted his lips on mine.

Cooper

I pushed Laramie down further into the couch as my body weight overtook his. Our lips remained locked. No sounds. No tongues. Just a sealed kiss. I gently pulled our faces apart.

"I love it," I whispered. "I love you."

We stood. Laramie took a moment to turn out all the lights. We walked to the bedroom hand in hand. I took the toiletry kit from my suitcase and moved the luggage out of the way. He lit a candle and turned out the lights. We went to the bathroom to brush our teeth. Each of us peed, although I was already so hard that it took some effort to secure my aim.

When we returned to the dim bedroom, we turned and held each other. We were fully dressed, but we just stood and gently swayed in each other's arms. There was no music, we just swayed. It was reminiscent of when we were at The Black Stallion. We put our chins on each other's shoulders and continued to sway. The candle flared up for a second. I noticed our shadow silhouetted on the wall briefly. I liked it. We swayed. We held each other.

"Brand new," I whispered, lost in my thoughts.

"Huh?" he said, pulling back.

"Oh, it's just something Emory said last spring. He suggested the song `Brand New' when I needed to feel good. Holding you right now, I feel brand new."

Laramie's eyes darted back and forth trying to make sense of any of that. "I'm not sure I understand, but ... I feel the same." He leaned back in for a kiss. For a long time, we just stood and swayed, locked in our kiss.

His hands left my back. I felt them move around to my waist, then the waistband of my pants. He unbuttoned them, then unzipped the fly. His hands moved inside, circumventing their way around my hips until they dug in and clutched my ass.

My fingers completely unbuttoned his shirt. I pulled it from being tucked into his tan jeans. Spreading it open, my hands roamed his chest.

As our hands explored masculine bodies, our breathing in our kiss became heavier. His tongue entered my mouth, rubbing against mine. My hands moved up to feel the warmth of his skin between his back and the shirt. We breathed harder. My hands maneuvered his shirt to fall from his shoulders. It draped from his elbows. His hands left my ass and rubbed my erection from the outside of my boxers. Then he let his arms hang freely so his shirt could drop to the floor. Bare chested, Laramie pulled the bottom of my sweater until it was lifted over my head. I had only a T-shirt on underneath it; it was removed seconds later.

Our breathing was panting now. My fingers fumbled with the fly on his jeans. I momentarily couldn't get them unbuttoned. Then it pried loose. The zipper went down easily. "Yes," I slightly uttered. I dropped to my knees. I yanked his jeans down. He lifted each foot one at a time for me to rip the denim from his legs. My fingers slid into the waistband of his briefs and pulled them down to release the heroic captive within. Instantly, my mouth devoured his member.

"Ahh! Cooooooop!" he yelled as he felt the lubrication of my mouth suck on his meaty flesh. "Fuuuuucck, yeah."

Laramie pushed his briefs down to where they fell to his ankles. He stepped out of them while I continued to suck on him, this man that I admitted I was now in love with. I wanted to suck and swallow and feast on him the whole night. My hands were free, so I wriggled a grip into my boxers and pulled out my cock. I jerked my own erection while I consumed his. His neck was craned as he moaned toward the ceiling. My tongue roamed and detailed the feel of his brick penis.

His hands slipped under my armpits and lifted me up. We kissed for a brief moment. Then he dropped to the ground, stripping me naked, free from my pants and boxers. I pulled my socks from my feet, and we fell onto his mattress.

"You smell good," I said. My face plunged to his freshly showered balls, and I teased their tenderness with my tongue.

"God! Yeah!" my lover howled.

My teeth gently tugged on his scrotum, and then I resumed suckling his testicles as if they were ice cream. Laramie continued to moan. My tongue explored further. I spread his legs and buried my face in his perineum. He groaned in approval. My tongue wriggled into the beginning of his ass crack, and my lover squirmed in a euphoric frenzy. I wanted more.

I forcefully turned Laramie over. My hands groped his beautiful ass, massaging each cheek until I spread them apart. With my face pressed into his soap-scented crevice, my tongue descended into its depths like a cast anchor.

"Ohhhhh, fuck! Oh, Cooper. Fuck yes!"

He whimpered as I continued to rim him. I moaned as I inhaled the scent of a man. My tongue managed to hit a sensual spot.

"Ahhh! Holy fucking fuck!" he cried. "Ooooohhh." He writhed in my service. "Cooooperrrrr."

My tongue had lubricated his ass with passionate saliva. Then I felt his body jerk away from me. He lunged to lean over the side of the bed. His arm reached behind his back, handing me a bottle of lube.

Laramie

This was the time. I wanted him to do me.

"Take me. I want you inside me. Fuck me, Cooper!"

He saw a towel in the nightstand and leaned over to get it. With a pop, the lube bottle opened, and quickly he was sliding tropical-scented slickness in my hole. I buried my face in my pillow. His fingers in my ass made me growl.

"Fuck me," I pleaded.

I couldn't see, but I knew he slathered clear lubricant on his erect manhood. I could hear it. Positioned right at my hole, he let the tip enter as he maneuvered his body on his elbows. I could feel him above me. His body hovered above me in places and pressed into me in places. He exhaled. I exhaled. Then he pushed all of his cock inside me. It had been so long since I had been fucked. His tongue had made my ass eager for his penetration. He felt good in me. Every iota of oxygen escaped both of us in an audible groan.

"Yeah," we both said quietly.

He started slowly. Gradually, his warm organ slid in a comfortable rhythm. In. Out. In. Out. It was gentle. It was tender. Two or three minutes with his slow thrusts had us breathing slowly but deeply.

"I am so glad you are inside me," I said into my pillow. "Fuck me harder."

He did. He increased his sexual thrusts. My ass muscles gripped his cock as he fucked me with more power.

"Gaaah! YES!" I screamed, with my ass starting to take on more. "Ungh. Ungh." I loved it.

As he continued to penetrate me, his breathing was ragged. His words had stopped, replaced by labored breathing and gasps for air. His cock felt so good inside me.

My arms squeezed my pillow below my head. He moved from his elbows to slide his arms below my chest. His body rested on mine. I loved feeling his weight on me, crushing me in the most loving way. He gripped my pecs. His thumbs rubbed my nipples. His touch was sending me to other worlds. His mouth kissed my neck and shoulder blades. He shoved his cock in deeper, slamming my ass cheeks. Sensations were rocking my body.

"Holy fuck! Yeah! Fuck me, Cooper."

He panted near my ear.

"Does it feel good?" I whispered to him.

"Oh yeah," he panted back.

"Does your cock feel good in me?"

"My cock loves being inside you. It feels so good." His thrusts increased.

"How good?"

"Fucking good." His thrusts were strong.

"Yeah? Tell me more."

"FUCKING GOOD! Laramie! My cock loves fucking you! Ungh! Ungh! Gah!" His thrusts pushed me into the mattress like a steamroller.

"Keep fucking me!"

In and out, his shaft pumped like a freight train causing us to snarl and growl.

"Laramie. Laramie."

"Oh, yes. Cooper. I love you inside me. I love you!"

His body was a jackhammer. He had to be close. I was being drilled by the man I loved. I loved it. I loved him. I loved his cock inside me.

"Gaahhh," he growled. "Oh, babe, I'm getting close."

"Keep fucking me!" I screamed.

"Ungh! Ungh!" His dick was a dynamo. "Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah."

"Keep fucking me, Cooper."

"Oh yeah. Fuck, I'm there. I'm there, Laramie."

"FUCK ME! Come in me!"

"Gaaahhhh-AHHHHHHHHH!!" he yelled.

Cum shot inside me. I felt he was having a powerful orgasm. His sounds, his breathing, the shudder of his body let me know it was intense. I was enthralled knowing his warm cum was coating my insides. He slammed his cock into my ass one last time and pushed hard. Then he collapsed.

It was over.

His body melded into mine. "Ohhh, fuck, baby. Ohhh." It took a moment for his breathing to regulate. His face was pressed to my shoulder. I was his bed. He rested on me.

"I wish you could stay hard so I could ride you some more," I said softly from my pillow.

"Me too. But that's not me. Unfortunately. Not for a half hour at least." His penis departed my ass.

He raised his body on stiff arms.

"Wow, you're sweaty," he said.

"Perfection," I responded.

"I am too."

"Heaven."

"Will you straddle my chest?" he asked.

I complied and placed one knee on each side of his torso. His chest glistened with sweat. I slid my balls through the moisture on his chest. It was every bit as hot and satisfying and sensual as I thought it would be.

"Yeah," he breathed. I loved him looking up at my body hovering above him. "Rub it in my sweat."

I nodded and smiled.

He felt my chest and tugged on its moist hair as my groin grinded itself into his body.

"I love it when you touch me that way," I said. Cooper's hands on my body never failed to exhilarate me. Intoxicate me. Enthrall me.

My grip surrounded my cock, and I began stroking my six inches of manhood. His fingertips massaged and caressed my chest. He touched my nipple as I started to groan. I jacked off for him more than I did me. The stimulation was intense and seeing Cooper watch me made it even more so. My cock throbbed. My cock was charged. My cock was stimulated. My cock was his — all his.

Our eyes met.

"You're so hot," he said.

"You are too. I love you in my bed." I groaned in my strokes. "Ungh. Ungh!"

"May I?"

I nodded vigorously.

His hand moved my arm and gripped my erection. It felt magnificent. Gently he pulled and tugged. Then he added more force.

"That's it, Coop. Harder, baby."

He jerked. His rhythm was faster. My body was an electric fence. I wailed and stretched my body upright; my neck bent backward to where I moaned approval to the ceiling. My body was in desperate conflict. It begged to come and at the same time wanted the intense stimulation to last forever.

"Fuck. Fuuuckk. FUUUUUCKKKK! Harder, baby. Harder, Cooper!"

Cooper yanked my dick with the strongest of strokes. I screamed as if being murdered. My cock sent volleys of semen to his chin and across his neck. Stream after stream painted Cooper's chest and nipple with warm liquid love.

"Come all over me," he whispered. "Coat me."

He continued to jerk. The last gush of cum escaped. He continued to jerk. I continued to moan. Then the two of us kind of made a sound that was a combination of a gasp, smile and laugh.

"Wow," I said. I put my hands on my knees to regain strength. I smiled. "Merry Christmas to me," I joked.

Cooper

Laramie leaned over to grab the towel. My body was covered in cum and sweat and whatever else might have oozed from our pores.

"Should we shower?" I asked.

"Is it crazy that I want to sleep this way. If anything is on the sheets — and I'm sure there is — it just makes it more blissful."

We kissed for several minutes. Tongues roamed to greet each other. Our hands found flaccid flesh to still hold gently.

As we rolled to lie on our backs, our hips touched. The warmth of our skin continued to radiate to the other. Our arms intertwined, and we interlocked fingers.

"I'm so glad you came over tonight," he said.

"Me too."

We were quiet a minute just watching the flickering of the candle and smelling its peach aroma. Our fingers connected us. It was the sensual stillness that followed incredible lovemaking. The only movement was our chests heaving in and out as we breathed.

"There's one thing we didn't talk about tonight," Laramie said, breaking the silence.

"Hm?"

"Mitch."

An orchestra of cellos stretched out long death calls of its lowest possible notes in my ears. This could not be a good conversation. I was not prepared for it. I had no answers for any questions he could ask. I was not in a position to make this conversation go well.

"Oh."

Laramie let go of my hand and rolled onto his side facing me. I felt obligated to do the same. We looked at each other, but I was no longer mesmerized by his gaze. I feared it.

"You ... you say you love me. Are you IN love with me, Cooper?"

"I am."

"So where does that leave Mitch? Do you still love him too?"

I closed my eyes to answer. "I do." I said nothing further. He was silent as well.

"I know this isn't easy," he said. "For either of us."

I sat up in bed. I nodded. He then sat up and turned 90 degrees to face me. The sheets were thrown back so that he could cross his legs. As a small child, they used to tell us to sit "Indian style." Laramie was a sexy, naked Indian.

He put a hand on my hip. "Coop, I told you I was just wanting to have my chance. And you gave it to me. And I am so grateful. I know you've had a lot of things on your plate to sort out. And I know I have complicated all of that. And I'm sorry. But ... WE work," he said, moving his hands back and forth between us. "I just don't know what happens now. I love you. You love me. But ... but I can't be a contestant on The Bachelor hoping I get a rose each round. I don't know how we move on from here."

"I know." My lip quivered. "I don't know what to do either. I'm in hell. I do love you. I am so in love with you. I feel it more each day." I sobbed out loud. Tears poured. "But ... I can't see my life without Mitchell. He is such an important part of my life. I don't see how to let that go. I love him. He's ... he's been my guide for the past two years."

"Until he cheats on you!!"

"I know, I know. But we have loved each other. We still do." I sniffed back tears and snot as best as I could, but I kept sobbing. I reached for a tissue. I dabbed my eyes continuously as waterworks failed to shut off. "It – it – it terrifies me, Laramie. I don't know how I did this. I was just supposed to find my way around these walls. Just to see what I need, what I want ... so that I could figure things out. But I found my way into your arms, and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do!" I wailed in my tears.

"Hey, hey." He held me in his arms. "I'm here. We'll figure it out. Maybe not tonight, but things will be okay. Maybe you'll decide you want me. Maybe Mitch. Maybe neither. I – I – I just need you to know it can't be both. If we have to go back to being friends, it will kill me — I love you — but if that's what is best, I'll – I'll – I'll have to take it."

I sobbed louder. "I hate this! I don't want to hurt anyone."

We gently rocked back and forth in bed, him trying to comfort me. A few minutes into the silence, I stopped crying. I got mesmerized in my deep breathing. He gently reclined me. I blew my nose a last time and dropped the tissue on the nightstand. He got up to blow out the candle. In the darkness he reached for me. I turned on my side and his arm reached over to hold me. I moved millimeters back into his body to feel his warmth. He held me tighter.

`I'll make a decision by the end of the year," I said. My hand reached for his. "Do you really watch The Bachelor?" I softly asked in the darkness.

"Lord, no." He was silent after that. Thirty seconds later, he said, "I did the first season."

I held his finger.

—

Laramie slightly stirred awakening me. He was spooned into my body, but my hand was on his bare ass cheek. I moved it up to his chest to squeeze him to me more tightly. His slight hum was a purr. A minute later, he turned to face me. My fingers drew a path from his chest to his hip ending on his morning wood. He smiled.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning," I echoed.

"How do you feel?"

"Lying next to you, waking up next to you, being naked next to you ... I'm good. But that's just the moment I'm in. It can't last forever. But ... I'm okay for now if you're okay."

"For now."

He rolled over. His lips met mine. He turned back, and I spooned him back into my body. My penis pressed into the small of his back. He reached around to hold it.

The moment was short-lived; the alarm went off.

"Shower?" he asked.

"Is that an invitation to join you, or do you want to know if I wish to go first?"

His hand gripped my dick like a vise. His lips were on mine. "What do you think?" he mumbled into the kiss.

Christmas Day

Laramie Jenkins
Cooper Snow

Laramie

It was a gift for the alarm not to go off. I stared at the ceiling for quite a while. My body needed to have a day to relax. Work had been so heavy lately; all my muscles ached. I pictured Cooper massaging my whole body. Before I had a chance to get too aroused, my mind drifted to work post-Christmas. It wasn't like orders were noticeably slowing down. I was pleased that the final customer was understanding that their order was down to the last minute on Christmas Eve, but I was grateful for the business. One year into owning the store, I felt relieved that Jenkins Mantle continued to be successful.

A shower could wait. I wanted coffee. I flopped my legs over the side of the bed. With a combination of a yawn and groan, I stretched and mumbled "Merry Christmas" to no one.

The realization that I would see Cooper and Corey in a few hours made me smile. As much as I would like to just do nothing at the house, being with Cooper would be choice No. 1. Of course, with Corey and his family nearby, it wasn't like it was going to be a day of passion.

Still, their company was a blessing.

The guys were having lunch before getting here, so I had to come up with something. I could have probably found some Chinese takeout somewhere, but after glancing in the fridge, a bowl of cereal for breakfast and a BLT sandwich for lunch would be perfectly fine.

It was 10:20. I stared at the phone. I knew I would have to call my parents. It was Christmas after all.

I hesitated and warmed up the last cup of coffee in the microwave. I had brought home the remaining eggnog-flavored creamer from the office. I added a little to my last cup. It was Christmas after all.

I stared at the phone but decided to take my shower. As I coated my body in soapy suds and rubbed my hands all over my naked flesh, I wondered if there would be any moment for Cooper to have his hands on my body during this trip. It was Christmas after all.

I usually didn't care about shaving on my days off. I liked my beard really short, but I didn't want to present myself as unkept to his family. I needed to define the scruff. It was Christmas after all.

11:14.

Fuck. I picked up the phone and dialed my parents. Dad answered on the third ring.

"Merry Christmas, Dad!" I said with forced enthusiasm.

"Merry Christmas, son," he replied. I could tell he had motioned over Mom.

"Merry Christmas, Laramie," she said.

"And to you, Mom. Are you both feeling okay?"

"Fine. Fine," she said.

"Any snow yet?" I asked.

"Just a light dusting a week ago. Nothing really measurable."

"Same here. More flurries than anything else."

There was a small pause in conversation.

"How's the store?" Dad asked.

"Good. Busy! I was working on Christmas orders up to yesterday evening. I still look to be busy for the next month too."

"That's nice," Mom said. "Grayson came in last night. He's helping out in the yard at the moment. He still comes home at Christmas."

I felt that was a subtle dig, but I deserved it. I hadn't been home in forever. Gray always did. He would always be the favored son. I was the disposable one.

"I'll give him a call here shortly to wish him a Merry Christmas."

There was another pause. I wanted to tell them about Cooper. What would they think? There was never a great interest in Micah. They would occasionally mention him. For a few seconds anyway. But if I mentioned him now and Cooper chose Mitchell next week — as he was bound to do — would I look like a ... a pathetic disappointment?

"Are you okay, Cooper?" Mom finally asked.

"I am, Mom. In fact, I feel better than I have in years."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Um." Should I? Would I? Could I? "I have ... well, there is ... I'm in ..."

"Son?" Dad interjected. "You're sure you are okay?"

"I'm in love."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. His name is Cooper, and he is the most wonderful person. Handsome. Kind. He's a father too."

"Oh?" Dad threw in, in verbose fashion.

"Yeah. Great kid. Likes me too. He felt sorry that I was all alone on Christmas, so he asked if I could join their family. I'm leaving in a few hours. It's not a long drive. Under two hours."

"I see," said Mom.

"Well, okay," Dad said.

There should have been a million questions. How does a gay man have a son? Why would a boy care about me? How did Cooper and I meet? How long had we been seeing each other? Is it serious? What does he do? Does he have three heads? Why can you drive to his parents but not your own?

"Be careful," Dad said. "It's nice that you are happy."

"I am. I am." Another pause. "Well, wish everyone happy holidays from me."

"Okay, son," Dad said.

"Happy holidays," Mom returned.

We hung up.

11:17. I gave a long, drawn-out exhale. That was done. Thank heavens.

For some reason I wanted a beer, but it was too early, and I was about to see Cooper. I didn't want him to smell it on me.

I texted Gray: "Merry Christmas! When you are free a moment, call me."

Cooper

The car was loaded for one night. I had snacks in the back seat, gifts and a small suitcase in the trunk. I had Kelly Clarkson's Christmas album — Corey's favorite — on a USB drive.

For Christmas morning, it didn't seem much like a holiday. Part of it was nervousness of Laramie meeting my family. Part of it was worrying something was missing from the car. I was unsure of who would be attending lunch at Natalie's and how that would go. I guess so much was on my mind, I didn't really think about it being Christmas morning. Christmas had fallen on Sunday. I looked at the time: 10:03.

I didn't know why I felt the need to go to church. I had hardly ever attended in the last three years. I certainly wouldn't go to my old one. It was farther away now anyway. An online search indicated a Christmas service would take place at the church around the corner at 10:30.

There were open pews near the back. Christmas décor made the auditorium reflect the season. I always found it curious that the protestant faiths had lighter attendance if Christmas was on a Sunday, but the Catholics went no matter what day of the week it was.

The component of attending church services I missed the most was singing. I wasn't a good singer, but I wasn't off-key either. Corey had a much better voice than me, but I still liked to sing. The selection of Christmas carols intermingled with traditional hymns made it even nicer. That helped bring the holiday to the forefront. I needed that.

The reverend's sermon was uplifting. It was positive and encouraging. I felt I treated people well, but his message inspired me to do more. I was now making more money. While I no longer gave to a church, it encouraged me to give to other charities. This was good for me.

As the service was winding down, I glanced over the congregation. I didn't know a single person. That was fine. They didn't know me. I felt like an intruder being a gay man in a church. Having had sex with two men in the last week, I wondered if I would leave singe marks on the pew from my smoldering sin.

I swung by the house for a moment to grab one last mug of coffee, then headed over to Natalie's.

There were two cars besides hers.

Corey welcomed me at the door. "Merry Christmas, Dad!"

"Likewise, son! I swear you are growing an inch each week."

"Whatever. Come on in. Meemaw and Papa are here too."

As was Daryl, Natalie's boyfriend. We shook hands and spoke holiday sentiments. I wasn't sure if he ever really enjoyed seeing me. I didn't mind his company though. I was glad Natalie had some companionship.

"Cooper!" cried Natalie's mother. "How lovely to see you." She gave me a tight hug.

"Merry Christmas, Adele." She never let me call her Mrs. DeVry. But I didn't call her Mom either. It was easy with Mitch's mother. "You're looking good. Has life been treating you well?"

Mr. DeVry shook my hand. "Cooper" was all he said. He had treated me coldly once I came out to everyone. Nat's mother was distant at the beginning. I found she was much more understanding now. I'm sure they still both thought homosexuality was a sin, but she treated me kindly.

Adele pulled me to the couch to answer my question. She spoke of all the groups she was involved in. The town of Price was 35 minutes away. It was small, but it was an active community. She was working part-time at the library and loved reading to the kids in the summer. Their church had painted the building recently. She thought the color was too garish.

I missed talking with her.

Natalie called us to the dining room. So that the two couples could sit alongside each other, Corey was at the head of the table, and I was at the opposite end.

Ham was a traditional meal for Christmas, but Natalie's father hated ham. We typically had roast, and that was fine with me.

"Did you make the gravy, Adele?" She nodded. "No one can touch your gravy. It's the best."

My comment made her smile. Natalie got defensive.

"I will have you know, Cooper, that I am quite capable of making a mean gravy myself. I am her daughter after all."

We chuckled at her snark.

"The cranberry sauce is made with fresh cranberries. I made it," said Corey.

"Well, gee, now I feel bad for not contributing."

"It's all fine, Cooper. We have plenty," said Natalie.

"I picked up rolls," said Daryl, flatly. There was empathy in his words, but it was delivered as a punchline.

The conversation was light, and the food was outstanding.

"Corey, your cranberry sauce is off the charts!" I said.

"I was about to say the same thing," said Mr. DeVry. "It's incredible."

"There's bits of apple, orange zest, cinnamon, nutmeg and blueberries. When cooking I used orange juice instead of water," he said informatively.

"But it doesn't have the shape of a can, you know."

He laughed. "True."

"He is becoming quite the cook," Adele said.

"He sure is. I find him going through my cookbooks asking if he can try this or that," said Natalie. "More power to him."

When there was a lull in conversation, I said, "I went to church this morning and..."

"You did?!" the table said in unison.

"It was close to my house. It was nice."

No one confirmed it, but I felt they liked the idea that I had attended a service.

After we had a slice of pumpkin pie, we moved to the living room. I didn't find Natalie's house any more decorated than mine. I struggled to remember what it used to look like when we were married. I was so tuned out during the last two years of it.

"Dad! I got a coffee maker!" Corey pointed out with great enthusiasm.

"Yeah, how `bout that," Natalie deadpanned, giving me an evil glare.

"It's just like yours, Dad, so I already know how to use it."

"Your gifts are under the tree at my house," I told him. He nodded, indicating that it was all good. "We'll open them tomorrow night."

"I have yours in my bag," he said.

"Speaking of which, we should head out soon. However..."

I walked to the car and retrieved the wrapped gift I had for Natalie. I re-entered the house and handed it to her. "Merry Christmas."

Her look of surprise was not unexpected. "Cooper? We don't ... you and I don't do gifts anymore."

"You're Corey's mother. I'll – I'll always think of you as family."

"Well, you shouldn't have."

I hoped Daryl would be understanding — and certainly not threatened — with my gesture. I saw Adele give me a sweet smile. I felt she found it touching.

With the wrap torn away, she slid open the box. Her eyes lit up as the glass bowl was revealed.

"I saw it. I knew those were your favorite colors and..."

"Yes, they are."

"... and I just wanted to give it to you."

"It's beautiful, Cooper," her parents said.

Natalie scanned the room for an appropriate place. She moved a small potted plant off a narrow table in the hallway.

I leaned toward Daryl and softly spoke, "I hope that's okay."

"Of course," he said. "No worries. Corey will always connect you two. It's lovely."

Corey emerged with a big suitcase.

"Man, I haven't seen that since our summer vacation."

"Well, you do have him for a week," Natalie said. "Plus, I think he wants to move some clothes to your house to free up some space."

"Okey doke." I looked at the faces in the room. "I suppose we should move on. It has been wonderful seeing you all."

I received a hug from the women. Mr. DeVry shook my hand and said, "It was good to see you, Cooper." I felt this was a baby step toward a kinder relationship. Daryl reached out a hand. I shook it but then pulled him in for a hug. I couldn't fathom why I had done that, but I was already committed to it.

"Merry Christmas, Daryl." His surprised look and smile conveyed that he hadn't found it unpleasant.

It took us ten minutes to get to Laramie's house.

Laramie

They were here. My heart leapt. It was funny how love did that to you.

"Hey there, champ! Merry Christmas," I said, pulling Corey in for a hug.

"You too. Merry Christmas," Cooper's son said, looking happy to see me.

I placed my bag in the trunk. "Do you guys need a soda for the road?"

"Well, I have snacks, but nothing really to drink. I just figured we could stop if we need something. But ... yeah. Corey?"

"What do you have?"

"Go check the fridge. Coke and Sprite, I think. At least that much."

"Grab me something, buddy," Cooper said, as Corey headed into my house.

"Are you ready for this?" Cooper said to me, sneaking in a fast kiss.

"It really is sweet," I said. "I know you think it is silly, but Corey really touched me with this. The card alone was heartwarming enough, but to care for someone like this is ... it's something, Cooper. You have a great son."

"Thanks," he said, going in for a second kiss.

He didn't realize Corey was walking up with our drinks. He was sure to have seen that kiss, but it didn't appear to faze him. Perhaps affection between the two of us would be something Corey would be comfortable with. It must be out in the open at least.

"I'll go lock up," I said. I returned half a minute later with a Coke of my own.

"Corey, let Mr. Jenkins sit up front."

"Who's he?" I said, sarcastically.

"I was going to, Dad," his son scolded.

Each one of us had time to add to the conversation. Corey talked about opening presents last night and some of the songs Mrs. Martindale said would be in the spring program. I explained how I was relieved that I got my final projects done for customers who were expecting them as presents. I told them how it was nice to have more work lined up, but I would no longer be under the pressure of extreme deadlines. Cooper talked about the gift I had given him, but he made it sound like it was to the both of them. His plans for Corey and him over the week were bowling one day and an arcade another day. He asked his son to select a movie he wanted to see too. I said it sounded so fun that I was jealous. I hoped that didn't sound like I wanted to horn in on the plans. I knew it was "their" week and respected that.

"I'm really looking forward to a great father/son week," Cooper said. "We had so much fun on our trip this summer."

"We sure did." Corey was in the back seat. I couldn't see him. He became quiet for a moment. "Is it too soon to start thinking about next summer?"

I saw Cooper smile at that. He put on Christmas music, and Corey and I sang along. He and I seemed to enjoy harmonizing. We knew we sounded great, and that made it even more fun. When "Run Run Rudolph" came on, Cooper joined in and belted out the lyrics with us. The drive was nice; as expected, I knew being in their company was something I considered special.

Cooper reached over to hold my finger. I wondered if Corey would find that odd. I knew Cooper would be afraid to show affection at his parents' house. I was to be Corey's "friend," not Cooper's boyfriend.

We weren't hungry, but we broke into the Doritos anyway. Corey's favorite was "cool ranch." Cooper had packed Wet Wipes too. He had thought of everything. He was a good dad.

After less than two hours on the road, we pulled up to his parents' house. There was no traffic or weather issues to delay us. He probably would have been grateful if there had been. I could feel him tense up. I wasn't worried about meeting his family, but I hadn't really prepared myself for things going south. What if they were outraged that I was a grown man. Would they assume I was gay? I hadn't planned on it ever really going horribly wrong, but I couldn't deny it was a possibility. Still, Cooper was so nice; how could his parents not be?

"Hey buddy, instead of dragging the whole big suitcase in, grab one of the shopping bags in the trunk and pull out just what you will need for overnight." Cooper opened the trunk and pointed to the bags. Corey grabbed one. "We'll come back later for things tonight, but this will be easier in the daytime."

We rang the doorbell. I could sense how nervous Cooper was. I wasn't worried, but I sucked in a deep breath in reflex. I had a moment of panic questioning if his family got upset that I was there, what would I do? I'd be mortified. With my track record, I slightly braced for it.

A young man had run to the door to answer it. He was excited to see Corey. He paid no attention to me. I figured it was a cousin of Corey's.

"Come in, come in," we heard Cooper's mother call out.

We entered the house. Cooper's father got up from his La-Z Boy chair. His mother came from the dining room.

"Grandma, Grandpa, this is my friend, Larry."

I meekly raised my hand to wave. Cooper's parents were unable to conceal their surprise. Cooper had told me that Corey didn't tell them I was a grown man.

"Oh. Uh. H – hello," stammered his father. It took him a moment to extend his hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I said.

His mother was speechless. "Well, Merry Christmas, Larry," she finally managed to utter. "When Corey said he was bringing a friend, I guess I wasn't expecting a grownup," she said with a chuckle.

"I tried to tell them, but Mom said it didn't matter if he was older." Cooper was relishing this.

"Your grandson is an incredibly thoughtful young man," I pointed out. I opened my sack. "I wasn't sure what to bring, but I didn't want to arrive empty handed." He pulled out a bouquet of flowers. I thought it was a stunningly beautiful arrangement when I selected it yesterday. I made sure to know what each component was: deep red roses, lavender stock and tiger lilies.

Cooper's mother gasped at the beauty of it. "Let me get a vase. How absolutely lovely. Thank you."

More relatives moved in, and Cooper introduced me.

They all looked completely perplexed at Corey's "friend."

"Larry is part of our coffee group," Corey explained, which apparently didn't help clarify a thing to his relatives. "He said he didn't have any family to be with on Christmas. It just seemed unfair to have to be alone today, so I asked if he could come."

"Aw," the ladies in the group said.

"You have a caring heart, Corey," Cooper's Uncle Randy said, putting one arm around him.

"You're so sweet, Corey bug. I'm proud of you," Cooper's mother said, slowly accepting the quirkiness of the situation.

All these relatives surely had a million questions, but it seemed as if any drama was not going to happen.

After finding out I was a carpenter, Cooper's father immediately invited me to the garage. Once there, his father said, "By the way, call me Arlis."

I was shown each of his tools. I complimented him on the quality of a few of the brands. Cooper's father had built some shelving in the garage. He made sure to show me. I showed interest. We went to a shed out back where he showed me more things.

Arlis seemed interested in what I did as a job. I told him about Jenkins Mantle. He seemed fascinated with it.

I wasn't sure why Cooper thought his family was so strange. I found them to be quite nice.

Arlis asked my opinion on some shelving in the shed. I offered a couple of suggestions on how to apply better bracing. He seemed thrilled with my input. For ten minutes, we worked together to make a quick fix.

Back in the garage, we started looking at an old desk he had there. Cooper's father was wondering if it could be refinished. I enjoyed sharing my expertise. It was pleasing to converse with someone who appreciated my skill set.

Cooper

Thomas wanted to show Corey some toys and games he got for Christmas. Mom went into the kitchen to piddle with dinner. That left me with my siblings. I was less than overjoyed, but I knew Uncle Randy was my safety net.

"Okay, what the heck?" Judith said.

"What kind of coffee group?" Anita asked pointedly. "This isn't your drunken friends, is it?"

"Anita!" Curtis admonished.

"No. I'm the only AA member in the group. It actually happened by accident. Emory spilled coffee on me back last winter. He was mortified. I was fine. It was an accident. A couple weeks later, he asked if he could join me. He's in his late 60s. Kind. Mitch would join me now and then."

"Oh. Goodie," said Judith.

"Over the summer, I ran into Laramie — Larry — and spilled coffee all over his shirt. Well, we..."

"Are you sure you all aren't drunk? That's a lot of spilling going on there," Anita snidely said.

"Anita!" Curtis snapped again.

"ANY-way," I continued. "Corey asked if he could come one time. I took him. He loved it. He fit right in, and now he goes with me on the weekends I have him. He gave cards to all of them for Christmas, including our barista. Those two really hit it off."

"What kind of parent lets a 14-year-old drink coffee?" Judith said.

"Thomas drinks Coke. It's just a beverage with caffeine. What difference does it make?" I calmly noted.

"I actually started drinking coffee at 15," Wayne told my sister. "It's no big deal."

"I'd just hate to see him become one of those addicted people who are in a 20-minute line at the Starbucks drive-through every morning," Judith said, rolling her eyes.

"I'll try not to disappoint you, Aunt Judy," Corey said, walking by Judith, to her surprise. She was caught off-guard.

Corey grabbed an iced tea from the kitchen and walked back past us, trying to look mature while doing so. I wished I had recorded that too, along with my parents reaction when we arrived.

"He is getting so big," Curtis said.

"I know." I sighed. "He's growing up so fast, but Natalie and I are both proud of him. He has a good head on his shoulders."

"Indeed, he does," Uncle Randy said.

"Natalie has done a good job with him," Anita commented with bite.

I rolled my eyes and went into the kitchen to see if I could help Mom.

"How are you doing, Mom? Need any help?"

"I don't think so, dear. But thank you."

"Looks like Dad has Laramie preoccupied."

"Oh, I'm sure. He's probably in heaven showing your friend all the woodworking projects he has been working on."

"They seem to have hit it off."

"He seems very nice."

"I hope it is okay that Corey wanted him to come. I'm not sure he understands that some people unfortunately have to spend Christmas alone."

"He's such a sweet boy. I was taken aback at Larry being a grown man, but he seems nice. I'm glad he could join us."

"I tried to tell you."

"Yeah. Yeah. It's all good."

Mom pulled a cherry pie from the oven. She sat it on potholders on the counter.

"Yum. I don't care if everything else for dinner is made of plastic. Your cherry pie is enough for me."

"Plastic! I think not. But I think there is a compliment in there ... so thank you," she said with a smirk.

Curtis ducked his head into the kitchen. "Hey, Mom. How long until dinner?"

"Oh. A while. At least an hour if not about 90 minutes."

"Okay. Hey, big brother, how about a walk before it gets dark?"

I was floored. Curtis and I hadn't spent time together in years. Not on our own anyway.

"Sure. I guess so."

Uncle Randy joined us. The garage door was open. I checked on Laramie. "You guys okay?"

"We're doing fine, son," my father said. I looked at Laramie. He gave me a nod.

"Okay. We're going for a quick walk."

A few minutes into our walk, small talk stopped.

"Uncle Randy, I hope I can talk openly with you," Curtis said.

"Sure, nephew."

"I'm struggling."

"How so?" I asked.

"I'm ... I'm not sure what my feelings are for Anita anymore."

Whoa! This was a heavy conversation. I was stunned that Curtis was able to open up — with either of us.

"I'm not sure what to say," I said. "I remember when you two got married. You were so happy."

"We were. I am just not sure I love Anita anymore."

"Might you know what changed?" Uncle Randy asked.

"She's a bitch."

I burst out laughing but contained it a second later.

"Curtis!" Uncle Randy rebuked.

"She is," muttered Curtis. "When we were young, she was wonderful. We enjoyed our time together. We tried to have a child for three years. We finally discovered that's not possible."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," I said.

"We talked about adoption, but ... it wasn't the same. She struggled to fill her time. She went to work, but we weren't the same. She became critical of everything. We haven't made love in a year."

"Natalie and I almost got that way before our divorce," I said. "Couples just `settle in.' I guess."

"Yeah, but that's not the same. You became an alcoholic. And you are gay! It's not like you didn't like Natalie anymore."

"True. I couldn't stand lying to her any longer, but she was always great. I grew more distant. I tried to bury it all in alcohol. I was pathetic."

"You were being honest," said Uncle Randy. "It's a shame the alcohol took you down. But you have overcome that."

"Not to mention the stigma Mom and Dad put on you for getting a divorce."

"Oh yeah. That was a blast," I said dryly.

"Curtis, you aren't to that point yet, are you?" Uncle Randy asked.

"I'm not sure. That's why I wanted you to walk with us. Is there any hope for us?"

"That will be up to you two. I think you should explore marital counseling before you make any hard decisions."

"I'd be willing to. I'm not sure if she would be up for it."

"Do you think it would be easier if you both talked to me?"

"Maybe. It's hard to tell with her."

"I will pray for you both," my uncle said.

"Divorce is no fun, so if you can work it out, it's worth a try," I offered. "I hope you can."

We tried to keep conversation steered toward the kids after that. That topic held less weight. When we returned, I found Laramie playing with Corey and Thomas. The man was adorable. Had anyone been paying attention to me, they would have seen my eyes aglow just looking at him.

As I walked back to the living room, Judith stopped me and said, "You're sure it's okay for him to be playing with the boys?"

"I don't follow."

"Well, you know."

"No. I don't."

"How well do you know him, really?"

I turned her to me. "Judith, I know you want what's best for me. Deep down, I think you really do. But I hope you can find it in your heart to accept me for who I am. It would be nice if you found a way to love me."

Judith was disarmed. She gave me a shocked look.

"Cooper. Of course, I do. I'm..." She touched my arm. "I ... I am sad that you didn't know that." Stumped, she slowly walked away rather dazed.

Laramie

Cooper's family was too large for one room. Some of us ate in the dining room, others at the kitchen table. His parents divided so one would be in each room; both of them wanted me to be in their room. I really felt welcome. Corey's concern toward me really turned this holiday into something special for me.

"I got a coffee maker for Christmas!" Corey told the table. Judith gave Cooper a "seriously?" look. She clearly didn't approve.

Cooper's younger brother prepared to leave shortly after dinner. They intended to stop in and visit with Anita's relatives. Cooper gave him a hug. Curtis said nice pleasantries to me. Anita just waved.

Once they had departed, the rest of us gathered around the tree. Cooper's mother plugged it in.

Corey opened his gift from his grandparents. He gave him their gift of assorted nuts. They told him it was perfect. Cooper had given them a glass bowl. They told him it was beautiful and that they loved it. It made me think of home in Eureka. My family probably had a gift exchange during the morning. I hadn't been involved in years, but I'm sure Mom, Dad and Grayson exchanged with each other, possibly relatives too. I no longer knew. Gray didn't mention who was there when he called.

Not long after, Wayne and Judith started preparing to leave.

"Aw, Mom. I was hoping to play with Corey some more," Thomas wailed.

"Honey, you know we have to go to your other grandparents' house."

"I see them all the time. I hardly ever get to see Corey."

Judith looked at Wayne. "All right. I know they will miss seeing you. But I know you would like to spend time with your cousin. We'll pass close here on our way home tomorrow, so we will swing by just after lunch to pick you up."

The kids seemed happy.

"Merry Christmas," I said to them. "It was nice meeting you."

"And you," Judith said. Wayne and I shook hands.

Thomas had received two games, Pictionary and something called Ka-Blab. We opted for Pictionary. We allowed Thomas to pick his partner. He chose his grandfather. Corey chose me, which prompted me to proclaim "yes!"

"Fine! Mom and I are taking all of you down!!" Cooper called out, trying to be a badass.

We were all terrible, but that was what made it fun. We laughed hysterically. Thomas wasn't a bad little artist. He wasn't quite ten yet, so a couple of clues had to be explained to him, but he wasn't bad. Actually, Cooper's father was probably the worst artist, but the two of them enjoyed being a team.

Cooper's mother tempted us with more desserts. We all indulged.

"I can put sleeping bags in the office for the boys," she said.

"I'll take the couch," Cooper offered. "Mr. Larry can have the guest room."

I looked at him, wondering why we weren't sharing a bed. I raised an eyebrow, which said a lot of things, mostly: "We aren't sleeping together?"

He slightly shook his head, which said: "Not at my parents' house."

Once the boys got settled in, Cooper's mother offered to brew some decaf. We thought that sounded great.

As the four of us sat at the kitchen table, both his parents told me how much they had enjoyed my company and were pleased that Corey had looked out for me. This was how holidays were supposed to make you feel. I knew I wouldn't have experienced that in Kansas. At 10:45, Mrs. Snow brought out bedding to the living room to make up the couch. She showed me where things were in the bathroom and made me feel at home in the guest room.

After we both brushed our teeth, I came out to the living room to say good night to Cooper.

"I can't believe we aren't together."

"In my parents' house? No way. You realize not only do they not know we are a couple, they have no idea that you are even gay."

"You think?"

"I know. They like you waaaay too much."

"They aren't that bad. I've had a great time."

He pulled me in for a kiss. "I'm glad."

"I love you," I whispered.

"Me too," he returned.

We kissed again, and I went to the guest room and shut the door.

It killed me that Cooper was in another room. I pictured him alone on the couch. I ached to hold him. I ached to feel him. I ached to caress him. I ached to make love to him.

I reflected on his words. He called us "a couple." Were we? He was still seeing Mitchell. If nothing else, I'm glad his mind went there to just let the words come out of his mouth. A couple. God, I loved that.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a light rap, and he opened the guest room door a few inches. "Lar'?" he softly called out.

I guess it startled me. Perhaps I had partially drifted off. I rolled over. "Huh?"

"Were you asleep?"

"Not really."

"Can I join you?"

"Hell yeah."

"I've set my alarm on my watch. I'll go back to the living room at 5:30. I – I just wanted to be in your arms."

I lifted the sheet as an invitation. We gave a simple kiss. I wrapped my arms around him. It was the comfort I was longing to feel. He held my finger. I pressed my face into his neck and breathed in. I loved being in love.

His hand reached back. He felt that I had briefs on, but only briefs on. He just let his hand rest on my leg, and his fingers gently brushed the hair on it. My dick was stretching. It was pumping iron in my briefs.

A few minutes later, my hand slid down to his boxers. Gently my grip felt his dick, checking to see if it was hard. A couple extra inches were there, but his dick was not firm. My hand just rested on his genitals.

It was wonderful just being together.

A minute later, I gently pressed my hard-on into his butt cheek. I wasn't sure if I did that for my benefit or his. I just longed to share the sexual aura I felt with Cooper. Our closeness was everything. I didn't have to make love; embracing him was all the magic that was needed for Christmas. My hand slipped into his boxers and ever-so-gently stroked his completely erect five inches. Gentle Christmas magic. That was the only movement between the two of us. Slow. Slight. Steady. Cooper's cock felt like a baseball bat.

A few minutes later, I started pushing my erection into his body. My thrusts were soft. But it felt good to rub my cock into him. I became a little more forceful.

Cooper rolled over to face me. Our lips met. We kissed. And kissed. And kissed.

"Cooper," I whispered.

"Laramie," he breathed.

Our tongues were in each other's mouths, and our hands were on each other's dicks. I shoved my briefs down about half a foot until they were below my balls.

We were panting in our kisses. "I want you so badly, but we can't have sex here," he said. The slightest of moans traveled from one mouth to the other. I stroked his dick. His grip on my cock was powerful. As much as he hesitated to do anything in his parents' house, Cooper wanted me. I could tell.

"I know, I know." I whispered. "This is fine."

We felt and groped and kissed and licked. We loved holding flesh, stroking flesh, feeling flesh, stimulating flesh.

We kissed more. And more. God, I was aroused. I got caught up in the intensity of everything. Cooper. Christmas. Cocks. Love. Passion. Cocks. Stroking. Magic. Cocks. Romance. Love. Lust. Cocks. Mistletoe. Christmas. His cock. My cock. Cocks!

Surprisingly, I came.

"Oh shit. Shit! Oh, oh, oh shit," I softly called.

"What's wrong?" he asked back.

"I just came on the sheets."

"You did?" Then he felt the stickiness on his hands and the sheet between us.

"Shit! Your mom can't seem my cum staining her sheets! Fuck! Fuck! Why do I always ruin everything?"

Our voices had not gotten too loud, but we were no longer quiet. Cooper turned on the lamp.

We stared at the pool of cum that had shot partially on my leg, but mostly on the sheet.

"Jesus Christ!" I groaned, as I threw myself down on my back.

"Hang on, hang on," he tried to say comfortingly.

Cooper leaned over and ran his tongue through as much cum as he could lick up.

"If I wasn't humiliated, I would say that was hot." We looked at it. "Oh, God. The wet spot is going to stay there. Shit."

"Maybe it will just dry clear."

"What if it leaves a stain? She'll know. I will be some kind of sick friend of Corey's. Dear lord, what will they think?"

Cooper walked to the bathroom to get a damp washcloth. He tried to dab and rub. The wet spot was larger, but we couldn't tell what was cum and what was water.

"Great. Now there is a wet spot where you are supposed to sleep." I was beside myself. Why was I such a fucking idiot? Why did I make a disaster of everything? Why would Cooper ever choose me over Mitch?

He turned the lamp off. "Just move over."

Two grown men squeezed themselves onto half a bed. He put his arm around me and kissed the back of my neck.

At least for this moment, we were together.

—

Cooper

I put on my jeans from the night before after hearing Mother move around in the kitchen at 7:30.

"Good morning, Mom," I mumbled as I walked in. "Want me to start coffee?"

"Good morning, dear. Yes, please. Did you sleep okay?"

Actually, I had. I hardly remembered the alarm going off at 5:30. When I moved back to the living room, the last thing I remembered was setting my watch down and remembering Mitch's inscription on his gift to me: I will always love you. I felt my inner turmoil work its way to the surface, but apparently, I was drowsy enough to fall back asleep.

"I was fine. With the four of us needing to be in the bathroom, I will shower first."

I gathered some clothing items and went into the bathroom. I would have loved for Laramie to join me, but just sneaking into his room last night was risky enough.

Freshly cleaned, I softly knocked on his door. Ducking my head in, I said, "Coffee's on. The shower is free if you want to jump in."

No one could really see the hallway from the guest room to the bathroom unless you were actually in the hall. Laramie soon darted with new clothes in his hand. He stood in briefs and a T-shirt. I gave him a quick peck on the lips in our nanosecond of privacy.

I hadn't shaved, but I could tell Laramie trimmed his beard to make him as presentable as possible. He looked so attractive. I was aware he never let his beard get too long, and I liked it neatly trimmed.

By 8:30, I got the boys up. Corey hopped in the shower. Thomas said he would take a bath when he got home, but he did have a change of clothes.

Mom was deep into making pancakes for all of us. Dad was halfway through his plate, and she sat a stack in front of me as I pulled out my seat. After Laramie offered morning sentiments, he helped himself to a cup of coffee, and Mom told him he was up next. She had blueberries or chocolate chips as options to add to the batter. Laramie said blueberries would be a treat. She appreciated his acknowledgement of her efforts. Once the boys joined us, they opted for chocolate chips. No surprise there.

"Mrs. Snow, can I help you by taking the sheets off the bed?" Laramie asked.

My eyes drifted to his. I assumed this was an effort to reduce the opportunity for Mom to "see something."

"Oh, that's okay, dear. I'll get to them later."

I smiled that she called him "dear," but I could tell from his expression that he wanted the sheets off the bed.

Everyone said how much fun they had playing games last night. Thomas was pleased his mother let him stay.

Following breakfast, I went into the guest room with Laramie. "Can you tell?"

"Mm. If you LOOK for it, maybe. There's a slight discoloration, but it's a bit ... crusty ... in that spot."

I examined the sheets. Nothing was too noticeable. As I knew where to look, I could slightly determine the cum spot, but it didn't look bad. "I don't think she will notice."

He gave a huge sigh, more in frustration than relief. "I hope so. Good lord, Cooper. I'm so sorry I am such an embarrassment."

I put my arms around him from behind him. "Nothing could be further from the truth. You're pretty terrific."

He gave me a quick kiss, knowing anyone could walk in at any point.

Laramie then spent a little time with the boys. Instead of a game, they actually decided to draw, probably stemming from our fun with Pictionary the night before.

"Surprised as I was with a grown man, your friend is very special. I'm glad Corey invited him," my mother told me as we watched from the kitchen.

"Yes, he is. I'm glad he wasn't alone on Christmas. Although he probably would have loved some rest."

Once the time arrived, we packed up the car and began the drive home.

—

Halfway through the drive, we had already agreed to order a pizza before we dropped Laramie at his home.

We sang along a little bit with the radio.

"I hope you had fun, Mr. Larry," Corey said from the back seat.

Laramie twisted around to look directly at him. "I absolutely did. Your grandparents were very nice to me. It was much better than spending the day by myself. Thank you for inviting me."

"Last night was a blast, wasn't it," my son returned.

"Yeah, I can't even remember who won," I grinned.

I cleared my throat incredibly loudly. The two of them giggled.

"Okay, yes, you and your mother won," Laramie said.

"We stomped your butts!" I said in my best trash talk. I loved watching Corey smile at that from the rearview mirror.

As we sang some more, I saw Laramie put his hand on the center console. His finger was situated to make it stand alone. I held it. I liked Corey seeing moments of affection, but I wasn't sure what he was thinking of seeing me be loving with two men.

We entered the house at 12:20. We had already decided on the pizza toppings as we were making turns through our neighborhood. I phoned in our order immediately.

Corey dragged his suitcase upstairs.

Laramie and I took the free minutes to hold each other. A passionate kiss caused us to embrace more tightly.

Laramie

"I guess I won't see you for a while," I said to Cooper.

"I guess not. It's a father/son week. I hope you understand that."

"One hundred percent."

As Corey was making his way downstairs, Cooper looked a little panicked. Once I left, we could potentially not be a couple again. If he truly made a decision by the end of the year, I couldn't ignore the possibility we would just have to go back to being friends in the new year. For Corey's sake, Cooper was trying to disguise it, but I knew the man I loved was torn up inside. I couldn't blame him. All of us were stirred up into this chaos stew.

"Come look at what Laramie gave us," he said, trying to think of something else.

We showed the father and son sculpture to Corey. He smiled at it. "Cool" was the extent of his observation. Oh well, I couldn't expect everyone to be impressed. I explained that I would still like to make a base for it, but Cooper told me he loved it as it was.

Corey went to the kitchen to fix beverages for us. We said we would prefer our sodas over ice.

Cooper took his suitcase to his room. I sat in the living room in front of the tree. Corey was placing napkins at the kitchen table and placed our three beverages on placemats. I slipped a gift for him with the other presents that were still there. They must have been doing their personal Christmas after I left.

"Should we buy you coffee before you go back to your mother's next week? Now that you have your own coffee machine and all," Cooper said.

"Actually, Meemaw and Papa bought me some. I guess they talked to Mom."

"Maybe we can find some flavors or creams for you," he said.

"Maybe."

A few minutes later, the pizza arrived. Cooper tipped the driver and said, "Merry Christmas."

Corey rebuked him. "Christmas was yesterday, Dad."

"Yes. But you can still express happy greetings for a few days. Besides, we still have gifts to open tonight. Christmas can last a while."

"Yeah. I guess."

The pizza was still hot enough. We approved.

The time came for me to head home. As we assembled at the car, Cooper looked like he was at a funeral. I was dealing with fear too, but I could tell it was consuming him. I desperately wanted to hold him, to comfort him.

We pulled into my driveway at about 2:10. I pulled my bag from the trunk and carried it to the front door. They walked with me to the door. I looked at Corey.

"Thanks for coming," he said.

I squatted down to eye level with him. "Thanks for asking. It meant the world to me." I stood tall and gripped Corey in a headlock. "Love ya, kiddo," I said and kissed him on the head.

Corey giggled. "You're as mushy as my dad."

"You poor over-loved child."

"Hey buddy, can you give the two of us a minute?" Cooper asked.

Corey nodded and went to the car.

I looked him in the eyes. He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. Our eyes were frozen in ice.

"I'm scared," he whispered.

"Don't be. We're going to be okay."

"It's impossible for everyone to be okay." A tear ran down his face, and he wiped it away with his sleeve. "But I love you."

"I love you too," I said.

We kissed. Hard. It was long, and it meant everything.

We placed our foreheads together and took in a deep breath of air.

"If the pressure gets tough, call Lance. Or Trent. You'll be okay."

He nodded, but I knew he disagreed. He never intended for his life to be turned upside down. He felt guilt for dragging both Mitch and me into a triangle. He broke free and walked to the car.

I went inside and exhaled. It was such a wonderful holiday, but now I had to contend with the fear that I wouldn't be the one Cooper chose.

"Please. Pick me," I whispered to the house.

Cooper

I wiped another tear away as I got into the driver's seat.

"Are you okay, Dad?"

"No, I'm not, buddy."

"Is there something I can do?"

"No. I'm glad I have you with me this week. You're my rock."

"How?"

"I have to make a hard decision. If I'm being honest, I'm scared. But whenever I get scared, I think of the one thing that keeps me grounded. And that's you."

"Oh. Wow." He didn't know what else to say.

We started our drive back home. Mitch was going to join us. That would distract me but also hit me over the head of what a mess I've made of all our lives. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I loved these men. And I had mixed my son into my mess.

* * * *

You will find a lot more of what I'm feeling about this chapter at the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com The new post is "Holes in December."

I love your email: timothylane414@gmail.com