Lanny's Camelot This is a work of partial fiction, but based on the author's feelings,beliefs, and in this cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it mightnot be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at timesbetween men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindif story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY! Cast of characters: Lancelot Arthur Becker
Prologue:
I am Lancelot Arthur Becker. At least that's what my mother named me. My mother and her relatives call me Lancelot, including Aunt, Judy, Aunt Rebecca, Aunt Bea, and Uncle Jim. Actually Uncle Jim mostly called me Lance, until I was to the age where he figured I was mature enough to be called after the nickname he called my dad -- Pecker.
About half of the guys at school called me Lanny, while the other half called me either Pecker or pussy. The girls might have called me Lance, if they bothered, but pretty much they just ignored me.
When I was a baby, at birth, I am assuming that the doctor who did my circumcision was worried that I may have given him some competition when I was older, because he pretty much mutilated me, cutting off about 1/3 of my glans-penis -- the head -- and as it healed, the loose skin most guys have on their penis shaft - - on me is tight and painful.
When you learn about masturbation -- you learn to live with the pain! I learnt that early -- when I was about 5.
I am a Mormon, having been brought up in Idaho. My mother pretty much felt that Idaho was the church's Camelot, and so she named me after the two most famous characters in Camelot of old: Lancelot and of course -- Arthur.
My dad of course gave me his Becker name, and it was no stretch of any boys imagination to dub me with his old nickname. The football players came up with a new name for me: Mute.
By the time I was old enough to dress down for P.E., I was pretty much cowed by most of my peers so I pretty much WAS a mute, preferring NOT to bring any undue attention to myself.
But this was not why they called me this. It was because -- when one of them got a look at my penis one day, he told the others what it looked like. It was Mute-ilated.
In our sexually repressed society in the town of Grace, Idaho, the boys seldom dressed down so that anyone could see them. But once one got a glimpse of my dick, it was spread around the school -- amongst the football types at least.
But -- you have to realize -- even the football types were still Mormons, so they would not have told any girl of this thing -- or more specifically -- my thing. They might call me "Mute", preferring to let the girls think that they were talking about how quiet I was -- but they knew -- that I knew -- what they were referring to.
Every once in awhile -- in the locker room, I got a glimpse of one of the bigger guys. Oh, did I tell you? I am 5'-6" tall, and have weighed about 135 pounds since ninth grade.
When I saw one of the other guy's dicks, it made my mouth water and I'd start to sweat and get a funny, tingling feeling deep in my tummy. Of course they all had dicks about twice the size of mine -- no exaggeration! Mine was tiny. I figured it still had some growing to do -- as they probably did too -- there were other guys my age whose dicks were no bigger than my own.
But By the time I was a senior in high school, I already had a smattering of fine hair in my pubes, whereas most of the other guys who were not yet developed -- had very little, if any, hair. They were late bloomers. I let the guys think I was too, but I knew different by that time. I had already had my growth spurt -- both in height and in the size of my genitals.
My grades were - - okay. I could have gotten all A's had I tried, but deep down I knew that would get me more attention, and I was not comfortable with any attention. I got okay grades -- B's and better. So that way, I didn't stand out in any way.
I was accepted to ISU, then transferred to Mount Hood Community College in Washington state, where I received my degree in mortuary science.
Yeah, I'm a mortician. I work with dead bodies. While at ISU I met Dana. I knew I was attracted to men -- and not much to girls -- but it never occurred to me that I might be gay. I thought that in time, that would pass.
As it turned out, my quiet manner appealed to Dana. After we were married, it also appealed to her that I liked do-it-yourself projects. I became a stalwart member of the Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, business community, joining a small mortuary there as an associate Mortician. I also found it very gratifying serving others, and so, even though I eschewed attention, my service and its results did not escape the attention of the local church leaders.
In serving others, I found that I could tire myself out in the service of others and as is said in my church, service to others is another way of saying service to God. In doing this, I might be excused if I did not attend to my husbandly duties -- and that was okay with Dana, because she wasn't all that interested in sex anyway.
I was singled out -- because of my willingness to lose myself in the service to others -- to lead my local Mormon congregation -- or ward -- and I was called to be the bishop. Being a bishop of an LDS (Latter Day Saint) ward is -- like all LDS callings, temporary.
A bishop is called usually for no more than 5 years. By that time, most bishops were burned out with that calling. With me, five years came and went seemingly without anyone's notice. Our ward was a very poor ward with many needy people. I think that my priesthood leaders just could not find anyone else who would be as willing to serve all the needs of this ward.
Even though I wasn't all that interested -- and nor was Dana, we did have enough sex that Dana got pregnant and nearly died from the pregnancy. I loved her enough that I never wanted to put her through that again. So what little sex we had was reduced even more.
The small mortuary that I worked at was owned by an older guy, who should have been retired by the time he was 65, in my opinion. He said he liked keeping his hand in the business, but I figured out in the years I worked there, that mostly he just could not afford to retire.
He decided to do a small revamping of the business and bring it into the 21 century -- adding a computer system for the business end of it. I learned about computer related mortuary software in college, and this made me the expert. He took more and more time off, as I assumed more and more responsibility.
The mortuary business is often feast-or famine. There were times when I was super busy, while others, I had plenty of time for doing church work at the office. I also discovered something else on these slow days: the internet.
I was drawn to sites where I could learn more about the strong feelings I was having -- more and more -- toward other men. In my strong LDS community it was not okay to even ask anyone about this. But the internet had all the answers I needed, and many sites that I wasn't looking for. One of these were gay chat rooms, where I decided I could maybe learn a little more about my predicament -- my "affliction", by talking to others about it.
Chapter 1
I could not really get any satisfaction from the guys that I met in those rooms, but I was drawn to keep going back. For - - even though they didn't give or tell me what I was looking for, it was a relief and liberating to talk with other guys who had the same urges and feelings as I did.
Then one day, I saw a post:
Daddy-Travis: "Hey -- any other Mormon married guys who wanna chat?"
Jared 4-eyes: "Hi, Travis." Jared 4-eyes was what I called myself in the chat rooms. I was afraid to tell anyone my real name -- Lanny -- Lance -- Lancelot -- all too recognizable!
Daddy-Travis: "Hey! Wassup?"
Jared 4-eyes: "I'm a married Mormon."
Daddy-Travis: "Really? Kewl! Wanna chat?"
Jared 4-eyes: "Yeah." All my life!
Daddy-Travis: "Shall we go to a private room?"
Jared 4-eyes: "Sure."
"Hi!" Said Daddy-Travis "So you're married too! Cool. I've been searching for another guy like me!"
"What can I call you?" I asked him.
"You can call me anything you like. Most call me Travis. How old are you?"
"I'm 29, you?" I answered.
"I'm 59 -- Haha! Maybe you should just call me Daddy!"
"Nice to meetcha, Travis." I wrote, to put that idea to rest. No way was I going to call another man "Daddy"!
(I felt my tummy tighten. I SO wanted to call him "Daddy"!)
"Is Travis your real name?" I asked.
"Of course! Why would anyone -- oh. Is your's really Jared? "
"My real name is Lanny." I said, hoping he couldn't sense the level of chagrin I felt.
"Oh. Okay. Well thank for telling me. Um -- I hear my wife coming -- better go now. When will you be here again?" asked Travis.
"I dunno. Okay, see you! Um -- here's my private email." I said quickly and I hoped that he would copy it off the screen before he left. Then I saw his appear on my screen just before he disappeared.. My tummy got so excited, I was wondering if any minute I might throw up. Dave walked in. I quickly flipped to a work screen.
"It's okay, Lanny. It's a slow week. I had to drop Beth off at the doctor's office and just came by to visit for a moment."
I felt flushed and like my heart was in my throat. I knew he couldn't possibly know what I was doing, but I still felt like on some level he must know - - something.
Dave told me he has been doing a lot of thinking. "Lanny, I want to make it easy for you to take over -- I mean buy -- you've already taken the business over -- the mortuary. I have been drawing a salary for too long, while doing too little -- and that's just not fair to you.
"You and Dana deserve to live more comfortably. Before I took Beth to the doctor, I was sitting up in my home on the hill, and feeling guilty thinking about you working hard, being assailed at all hours by calls -- not only because of your calling as bishop, but because people have the insensitivity to die at odd hours of the day." He smiuled. Dave was really a very compassionate guy. "We can go over the details tomorrow -- or next week, I guess. There's not that much rush."
"Uh -- oh -- yeah! I'd like to see what may be -- um -- possible. We still are paying for Dana's pregnancy."
"Well, we'll just have to make it easy enough that you can plan on another before Lilly is too old to be an effective older sister!"
"Oh -- Dave! I'm not sure I could go through another pregnancy."
Dave laughed. "The way you talk, it sounds like you were the one to birth that adorable little girl!"
"Dave, I'm afraid of being left alone to raise two kids. Dana nearly died with Lilly."
"Dana told me -- in the company of Beth -- and others -- she feels like she will be fine."
"I know -- she told me the same. But still -- I dunno. I don't like it."
"Well, you may be able to adopt."
"Maybe. But Dana wants her own."
"Okay then! Well, we'll talk soon and see about how we can work out the details for the business transfer -- if that works for you. I really should get back to pick up beth -- see if the doctor wants to tell me anything."
"Thanks Dave!" I said.
As soon as I heard the big heavy front door to the mortuary close, I switched back to the chat screen. I re-read everything we had said. What was it about this Travis? I couldn't identify anything in our chat -- but -- I yearned to chat with him again. Maybe it was just because he too is Mormon, and so he knows how torn I feel. He MUST know! Also echoing in my mind was what I had just said to Dave: "I'm afraid of being left alone to raise two kids." Guilt washed over me like a hot gutter water.
I heard a bong from my computer. "You've got mail!" it was telling me. I opened AOL and there it was -- a letter from Travis!
"Sorry to have to leave to quickly, Lanny. She came in and as quickly left to go to the gym to work out. I wish I could talk to you. There is so much I'd love to discuss. Don't call unless we pre-arrange it -- in case Edie answers." I read. Then my eyes fixed on it. He actually gave me his telephone number!
"Lanny -- I don't know why, but I trust you!" his letter was long, but -- I quickly looked at the date stamp on the letter. He had just sent it, and if his wife was at the gym working out, he would probably be alone. If she answers -- I'll hang up. That happens all the time, doesn't it?
My heart skipped a beat as I dialed the number, and then felt like it was beating out of my chest as I counted the rings. He answered after the third ring, but it seemed more like it must have been the 10nth ring! "Hello?"
His mellow, low voice seemed angelic to me. And also -- it made my whole system feel a wave of erotic sensation that sent a wetness to the front of my underwear. "Hello? Is anyone there?" He repeated
"Yes." I said more high pitched than normal. My voice sounds almost like a woman anyhow -- but this was more squeaky than normal. "Travis?" I said, suddenly terrified that maybe his son or another male had answered. I didn't want to put him in a bad position.
"Yes -- who is this?"
"Are you alone?" I asked.
"Who is this?" I expected to hear ire in his voice, but instead I could definitely hear what I felt was a smile.
Nevertheless, I paused a moment -- frozen from the waist up. I could just hang up, and pretend -- but no! It couldn't be a wrong number -- I had already said his name.
"Is this -- Jared -- I mean -- um -- Lanny? Is that it?"
"Yes," I said, regaining my voice.
"Omigosh!" He said. I was sure he was going to bawl me out for calling unannounced. "I am so happy you called. I guess you figured out that Edie would still be at the gym! Oh, Lanny -- you voice sounds so cute!"
I sighed. "Yeah. My claim to fame! A cute voice! Your's sound -- omigosh! It sounds sexy!" I said, immediately wishing I could recall it.
"Haha! You think so? Thanks! I didn't dream we could be talking so soon! Where are you?"
"At work."
"You work on Saturday?" He said.
"Not always. I had some paperwork to finish. I was actually going to go home when I went in to check out the chat rooms."
"Omigosh -- I'm glad you did!" Said Travis. "Oh this is so fun! To hear your voice -- it's like another level. Haha! You sound so - - "
"Yeah, I know! Cute! Please remind me of that several more times!" I said, embarrassed.
"Oh -- I'm sorry -- but -- heh -- that was what I was going to say, but more than that. You sound so -- um -- real!" He said.
"Travis -- I have a confession to make."
"What? You're not the Mormon Gay Police, are you?"
"They have something like that?" I marveled.
"No, Silly! I was just kidding. What was it you were going to say?"
"Travis -- I need to tell you something."
This time I guess he heard the concern in my voice. He said, his voice now full of concern. "What is it, Lanny? I didn't mean to trivialize what you were planning to say."
"Travis -- I am -- a - - bishop." My tummy suddenly felt like a knot in my gut and I suddenly noticed that the air conditioning was a little cool -- and I felt feverish.
"Oh! He said.
Notes: This will be a shorter than normal story. It is true. It doesn't have a 'happy ending'. Actually, it doesn't have an ending yet ... but it does continue beyond here. Shall I write more - - ? Comments are welcome, to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and - love, Steve