The wind had caught my hair and dished it up great. I looked like a relative of Harpos'. Wondered if my hair would matter so much in the scheme of things. Wondered about the time we would spend so close to one another.
I wondered too, about the openness of our lives online. What we had shared, leaving ourselves open and vunerable. The exchange of pictures that would leave no doubt as to whom we were, yet only silhouettes of the 3D personage we call ourselves.
In my haste to have her know me, I sent her every poem and erotic story I had penned, hoping to show her exactly who I was....within a soul painted picture. My passions about my art expelled there in the body of an email, gracing her screen and the countless others on a single mailing list.
Passions about sailing, making love, writing, grapes and wolves. Passions. Eruptions. Deliverance and rebirth, all in the name of lust.
In my haste to know more of her, I asked only that she be honest with me, that she be open and proud with me. I didnt want her past, her lovers names or even the moments when she cried someones name into a night filled with more passion....only asked for a future where she might scream my name...where she might even blush in the still of a nights tone...the silvery soft colors of dusk.
Its wicked the games the mind plays. Its unforgiven and evil...when your mind plays against you. More so, here I sit waiting for the womyn who holds my heart and where she is...I havent a clue, just a thought.
I told her to come to the pier. That we would wait till she would appear, and then I would take her to sea, with my crew and I. And so I have waited, against a night filled with the scents of the sea, the flying fish for free, jump as high as the moon and my heart aches for the womyn I call 'Lover'.
She comes from so far away. Her winters longer than the tides that will take us out again, take us into an eddy with thought. Clearly the moon wanes as I wait, and a shadow of regret hangs in the balance.
I wonder if she will like me as she says she loves me. I wonder if her arms will wrap around who she says she longs to hold, am I too bold in wanting more than just the dream?
Its a Caribbean tide that pushes us out through the canal, frigates on either side gather steam in the early hours of eve. Their nocturnal enterprise harbors a commercialism based on noise, greed and neglect.
Soon we see a car that rides slowly down the pier. I see her blond head leaning from the open windows, wondering if she looks for a way to turn around when she sees the eagerness in me. Suddenly I feel small and unattractive. Suddenly I am not poised. My feet lumber under me. My hands inept as I wring them in inadequacies of my mind. Those damn games.
She is smiling. More than I. And then we share that first moment, when time stands still. When the sounds around seem to hold their tongues in the silence. I know her as my lover. I long to bend to take her in, but all I can do is say 'Hello', which she answers just the same.
I rise from my post and jump from the railing to the dock. She laughs a hearty tone that beckons and calls to me. Suddenly Im swept away with passions that I have felt in the early hours of a dawn on all night cybers. We stand face to face. Our eyes locked in a loving embrace. I take her slowly into my arms and kiss her moist lips. I feel as her tongue parts my own lips, pushing in past my teeth. Again I have felt this rebirth. A miraculous overwhelming rise that begins from deep within me and continues all the way to nirvana. I feel her hands grasping, her fingers laying themselves upon me. Her richness filling me. I am alive like never before. In my mouth she tastes like dawn. Bright. Refreshed. Loving. I grab her bags and motion for her to follow me. Our silence is broken by the rapid breaths of two womyn who know passion. I turn to look at her. She is smiling. I am happy.
I take her to my quarters. I have placed orchid petals around the room, and lilacs upon her pillow, though now I know her scent to be more of what I yearn for....
Again she falls into my arms. Her own hands circle my neck, pulling me closer to her. I feel myself spurting from within. Fires that flame and erupt like volcanos that pour and run. She is the goddess of my fire. I am engulfed by her beauty. I roar. I am free within this fire. As it consumes me, so it delivers me. As it lifts me, so it soars with me. And as I soar I know I belong to her, to this womyn I have waited for.
She lays her head against the pillow and marvels about the decor. All I can see is her face and the way she smiles at me. All I can taste is who she offers to me.
I come and kneel between her legs on the bed. She hoists herself up against the headboard, watching me and playfully pulling away. I hold her down with my hands placed firmly on her thighs. Her jeans tight against them. Her shirt half way nudged up, revealing her exposed navel. I bend and push my tongue into its center. She laughs and I know again I am hers.
I pull my shirt off, exposing me further, then tear at my shorts, barely unhooking them, but the urgency is there. I watch as she smiles and suddenly blushes. I have sensed that innocence before in the late hours of online hushed words. Now she is here with me and I see her naivete.
I stand naked before her. Her fingers tracing the outline of my body, my fur breezing in the Caribbean wind. I lean in and kiss her again, this time my lips brushing hers, lightly at first, then pressing harder as we come fully together.
My hands unbutton her sweater till she is naked against my chest. Our breaths timed simultaneously, our skin flamed with each breath. I slip a finger inside of her shorts, tugging at the elastic band. Tugging at time. Tugging at my heart. Pulling the fabric from her.
A gasp escapes her perfect mouth. I am open to receive that what she offers to me. That which I have longed for. That which is mine to keep..she says so. In those few words comes a trust. Undeniably truth. And mine to keep.
Now we lay close. Our fur rubbing the others. Our skin touching chills that run the length of want. Chills that excite and blend, mingled with lust and love. Is there any difference when you lay so close to perfection? When you slip so deep into heaven.
I feel her as she moves inside. I touch her as she dives into me. She feels me as I plunge into the dream, now more than 3D, now more than time. Our lips pressed, the aromatics of that volcanic rush. That marvelous wet that seeps and runs, that rains and delivers. That electric way it pulses inside of me, inside of her.
Whatever hesitancy I felt before, whatever ambivalence...it was all gone now, gone in the breeze of a sudden kiss. Gone in the embrace of my lover. And time, well that is fleeting, but I care not to note it at all anymore. It is not significant when one is reborn in her arms.....
Copyright 2000 carol marie