Welcome to "Lance's Search," a multi-chapter exploration of a young man discovering himself. As much as I would suspect otherwise, I have no actual proof of the sexual orientations of Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake or JC Chasez. Consequently anything you read in this story is the product of the mind of its author. That said, this story attempts to take a realistic look into the thoughts and feelings of a guy as he discovers the pains and the joys associated with loving his fellow man... or his fellow band mate as the case may be.
Thanks to those of you who have written back to me about the story. If you have any comments, please e-mail them to bjluver@gay.com. Otherwise, enjoy the story.
BJ
Chapter 6
Life on the road had already become familiar to the men of NSYNC. There was a lot to dislike about it, but they all knew the ultimate reward - performing in front of huge crowds of fans - was worth the hassles. Everyone had their own patterns and ways of dealing with the travel and pretty much knew everyone else's patterns.
Since New Orleans, the boys had noticed some changes in Lance's routine. He seemed to be sleeping more on the road than he used to be. They all knew he had purchased a laptop for himself, but they rarely saw him use it on the bus or anywhere else. They thought that maybe the original euphoria of buying a computer had faded just as if it were a toy played with exclusively on Christmas Day only to be forgotten a few days later.
But Lance hadn't slowed down his usage of his computer. He just didn't use it much around the others. Mainly he surfed the Internet at night, in the darkness of his hotel room.
Since his first night of exploration he had discovered a whole world of people who speculated on the sexual leanings of not only him, but other members of NSYNC and practically every other boy band. He was grateful he hadn't found any pictures of his face plastered on the naked body of someone else like he found of Justin. Actually, the body used in that picture really didn't look anything like Justin's. He thought about showing the picture to Justin sometimes for a laugh, but then couldn't think of a way of explaining how he found it.
Lance discovered a number of sites with other pictures that make him cringe or even chuckle. He had to admit, some of those photos looked rather suggestive in retrospect. He and the other guys in group shots with arms and hands in places which could appear sexual. For some reason he found a number of pictures that made him and JC really look like a couple. The looks. The proximity of body parts. Who was next to whom. With the right commentary, he supposed any photo could be seen in that light.
'Yeah, I wish,' Lance thought to himself. Then suddenly he thought about that. 'What did I mean by that? Am I attracted to JC? He's my friend. Like a brother to me. It just can't be.'
But yet, the surfing continued. He discovered a whole treasury of fan fiction that was nicknamed "slash." It had stories of gay sex involving boy bands in all sorts of combinations. Lance with JC. JC with Justin. Justin with Nick Carter. Nick with Lance. Lance with JC and Justin. And then there were the combinations with fictional characters. If you believed these stories, Lance thought, we'd get nothing done but have sex with each other.
Lance knew the stories were crazy. Fanciful imagination. But he couldn't keep himself from reading them. He particularly enjoyed stories that paired him with JC.
He came to understand Justin's remark about making sure not to get the computer keyboard sticky. Lance could not help himself. Reading the scenes of passionate sex made him horny. It seemed as if his right hand and his cock had minds of their own. He would get caught up reading a love-making scene and before he knew it his boxer briefs were either gone or around his ankles. His hand would be stroking his cock until the pleasure reached a peak and an orgasm followed. It was a ritual he practiced daily, sometimes a few times a day.
Early one night while still on tour with the rest of the guys, disaster struck. Or at least what Lance saw as a disaster. His computer froze up on him while online reading one of those stories. Then he got some sort of blue screen. Lance didn't know enough about what was happening to even describe the problem, let alone fix it.
Most of the guys had gone out for the evening, but he remembered that Justin was staying in. He called his friend's room. Justin told Lance he couldn't help him over the telephone, but Lance could come over to his room and he'd look the machine over.
Naked, Lance slipped on a pair of track pants and a T-shirt. He picked up the computer and headed to Justin's room. Justin opened the door after Lance knocked. "Come on in," he said. "I really wasn't doing too much anyways, so maybe I can impress you again with my computer knowledge."
Something else was impressing Lance at the moment. Justin came to the door clad in a pair of boxer briefs and a wife beater. His eyes followed Justin into the room well before the rest of his body made it past the door. "Uhh, thanks for helping me out, Curly. I haven't a clue what happened."
"Well, just take a seat on the bed there while the doctor takes a look. Sorry there's nuthing better on the TV. This hotel doesn't offer a whole lot of channel selections."
The younger band member took a seat at the room's small desk and went to work. Lance found the remote and flipped through the channels, finding little that interested him.
"That should get it working again," Justin said. "Yep! It will be as good as new in just a bit. No long-term damage."
"Thanks, Justin, I really appreciate it."
"I have no doubt. You really seemed to have become addicted to your computer."
"What do you mean?"
"Yeah, I know on the bus and other times we're all together you ain't on it, but 'fess up, man, at night you're liked glued to this thing."
"Well, OK, maybe I have been a bit obsessed..."
"A bit?"
"OK, a lot, you happy now?"
"Just wanted to make you tell the truth," Justin responded giggling as he did some more work on Lance's computer. "My, my, my, no wonder you had some trouble considering the sites you've been visiting," Justin said followed by all-out laughter.
"What did you say?" Lance said with more than a little anxiety. "What are you talking about?" Lance hadn't known that anyone could look through his computer and determine where he had been.
"Enjoying those racy stories about us, Lansten?" More giggles. Lance rushed over behind Justin, who was still checking out the computer screen.
"What? Uhh, Justin. Justin, listen to me man. I don't know what you think you see but you've got it all wrong man. Please, Justin, believe me. It's not whatever it looks like. Please!"
Justin stopped his laughing, noticing how serious Lance had gotten. He looked scared. Very scared. "Hey, dude. Chill. I was just funning with you. Calm down."
Lance was stunned. 'Did I just accidentally reveal myself to Justin,' he thought. 'Oh, God, how am I going to get out of this one?'
"You mean... you... really... didn't see anything?" Lance said with a crooked grin. His heart was pounding about a thousand times a minute, or at least that's how it seemed to Lance.
"Scoop, calm down. Let's sit down over on the bed until you stop shaking."
Lance nodded his head slightly. Justin got up out of his chair and led his friend over to the bed, getting him to sit down.
"I don't know what came over me," Lance said quietly.
"Lance, it's OK. I think I know what happened, and we ought to talk about it."
To be continued...