Welcome to "Lance's Search," a multi-chapter exploration of a young man discovering himself. As much as I would suspect otherwise, I have no actual proof of the sexual orientations of Lance Bass, Justin Timberlake or JC Chasez. Consequently anything you read in this story is the product of the mind of its author. That said, this story attempts to take a realistic look into the thoughts and feelings of a guy as he discovers the pains and the joys associated with loving his fellow man... or his fellow band mate as the case may be.
If you've been reading this story and haven't dropped me a line yet, do so that I know you're out there. If you have any comments, please e-mail them to bjluver@gay.com. Otherwise, enjoy the story.
BJ
Lance maneuvered Justin so that he was getting the most benefit from the cascading water in the shower. He tried to do everything that Justin had done to him. "This is nice," Lance thought to himself. "Giving and receiving pleasure like this without sex being the main goal. I like it. But it will never be more than this with Justin. I love him. He loves me, I think. But neither of us is IN love with the other. Just the same, I do enjoy the body contact."
By the time Lance got Justin all cleaned up and rinsed off, the water was turning decidedly cooler. The pair emerged from their shower and toweled each other off.
"I feel much better now. Thanks, Justin."
"You're welcome. Now let's get back to bed and catch a few more Zs. Big concert tonight. After that, it's back to Orlando."
Chapter 16
Lance and the other members of NSYNC had been back in Orlando for more than a week, taking a long break in the tour schedule. Lance was grateful for the chance to recharge his batteries. He loved performing and going out on the road, but it was also exhausting. His bad experience performing that one time at EPCOT while sick made a lasting impression on him about taking care of himself.
Lance and Justin had gotten together every day since the break began. They generally hung out together, talked a lot and watched videos they wouldn't watch in front of the other guys. The videos weren't really porn, just movies that had gay-related themes like "In and Out" or the English film "Maurice." The two bandmates enjoyed the freedom that knowledge about each other gave them. When they were alone they could truly be themselves.
Lance spent a couple of nights sleeping at Justin's place, while Justin shared Lance's bed a couple of other nights. A day didn't go by without the two engaging in sex with each other. Having discovered the joys of a cock in his mouth, Lance wanted one there as much as possible.
"I think I'm developing an addiction to cock," Lance said one day.
"An addiction, huh? Sounds pretty serious to me," Justin responded with a laugh. "We may have to take some rather drastic measures to battle this addiction of yours."
"What measures, Dr. Timberlake?"
"Hmmmm. Well, one method would be for you to check into a rehab clinic where you'd go cold turkey. Not even another guy anywhere around. Just tits and ass."
"Man, that's too drastic. Isn't there another way?"
"Yes, but it's even more drastic and would require a lot of hard work and dedication on your part."
"I can work hard," he responded with a smirk.
"I hesitate to recommend this, but it just might be your only chance."
"So, what is it?"
"It's the reverse of going cold turkey. Instead you suck cock every possible moment. And of course, as your treating doctor of addiction, I'll have to sacrifice myself by letting you suck me off several times a day."
"What a truly brave act on your part. You may even win the Nobel Prize for this cure."
"We should begin these treatments as soon as possible. On your knees patient."
"Actually, I've decided on the cold turkey method instead."
"Oh man, that sucks!" Justin laughed.
"Apparently you missed the point. No, it doesn't suck," Lance said through his laughter.
These were the types of conversations Lance never thought he would ever have with anyone. Talk of having sex with other men. Comparing notes on guys they saw out on the streets or in the malls. Grinning at each other when they both spotted a hot body. The duo even considered writing a story for the Nifty Archive. "We could write about ourselves, just telling about what happened," Justin said. "We'd have our own little joke. Everyone will think it was just the imagination of a couple of crazed fans when in reality it's true-life adventures."
Lance toyed with the idea of the story, but he never really enjoyed writing when he was in school and he didn't think he would enjoy it now. But the whole idea piqued his interest. Only Lance thought he might polish up the story with some real fiction so that he didn't come off looking so naïve. "No reason to make fans think I was really so backward about sex."
Even with all this conversation and sex with Justin, Lance couldn't help but think about JC. Ever since that night Lance went into the gay bar, the blond was confused. Confused about what his feelings were for JC. Confused about that dream. Confused as to whether to let JC know.
So far, he had not shared any of this confusion with Justin. With all of the other intimate secrets the two shared, Lance felt a little guilty about it. He wasn't sure how Justin would react to the news about his long-time friend - his "big brother." Perhaps privacy was the best policy in this case. Sure, he wouldn't be telling the world. Justin could be trusted. He would have no reason to tell anyone else.
But for now, Lance decided to error on the side of caution. Justin might be mad at him later for holding out on him, but Lance couldn't bring himself to tell Justin, at least not yet..
"Hey Justin, have you ever been, you know?"
"You know? No I don't know. What are you trying to ask?"
"Have you ever, like, gotten it up the ass?"
Justin laughed. "Getting a bit more adventurous there, Lance?"
"I'm not saying I want to do it, I'm just curious. So, have you?"
"Yeah. Couple of times."
"Didn't it hurt?"
"Yeah, it did at first, but fortunately the old muscles back there adjust after a little while, then the pain subsides, replaced by some pretty intense pleasure."
"Pleasure?"
"It's kinda hard to describe. There's just this feeling of ... I don't know... not fullness, necessarily, but like the other guy has really become a part of your body. I know that sounds weird. And when the pumping action is going at a good pace and his cock is hitting the old prostate, man, you just want to explode right then."
"Have you been on the other end of it?"
"You mean as the fucker instead of the fuckee?"
Lance was a little embarrassed by Justin's phrasing. "Well, not quite in those terms, but yeah."
"Sorry about that. Yeah, I've been the pitcher as well as the catcher, to put it another way. It's great too. A nice tight ass feels great."
"Just, I know it's maybe not my place to ask, but were you protected?"
"Yeah, condoms were in full use as was plenty of lube. Thanks for asking, though. Were you interested in trying some anal pumping action?"
"No. Not yet. I guess I look at it as more than just sex, that there's something more attached to it emotionally. But yet, I'm curious about it. And, a little hesitant too."
"Ever fingered yourself?"
"Whadda mean?"
"Played with your hole. Stuck a finger or two up there for more than wiping up after a dump."
"No."
"Don't look so disgusted there, Lance. It's not as bad as you might think. And when your finger finds your prostate, you may never want to move your hand from your butt."
"That might make signing autographs a bit more difficult."
"You could adjust."
"Any tricks to the fingering I should know?"
"Yeah, be sure to lube up your fingers first. And don't start off trying to insert your whole hand. Start with just one finger, then slowly add another, then another. You know, I'd be happy to demonstrate it on you. Let you see how good it can feel."
"Maybe sometime. I just don't think I'm ready yet. Besides I gotta get some work done before I can get to bed. And when I get there I'll just wanna curl up under the blanket with you and get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow, and we have a special mission in the morning."
"Special mission? Morning? You've got to be kidding. What mission?"
To be continued...