Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and problems from the POV of a Young man. If you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you Are, then refrain from reading it.
This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me (found in HIGHSCHOOL section of nifty)
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Edited
LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life
DEATH AFTER PARADISE
DAMIEN Eric and I exchanged looks as Jay caught me using the phone. It was one of those blank looks where no one knew what to say or do. Suddenly Eric sort of just spoke, "Damien, you don't have to answer him." I looked at Jay's expression. I could tell he was mad. Eric was the type of guy that seemed like a real pushover (I use the term loosely) at times, so I guess it was strange for Jay to see him stepping up to speak to him like that. "Eric, can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Jay looked really annoyed. Jay resembled, at times, one of those dramatic Queen types. He was the type of guy that plucked his eyebrows and shaved his legs. If Eric hadn't told me he was straight, I would have still been thinking he was gay. He acted gayer than Eric and me, which wasn't saying much because neither of us had the classic "gay guy" personality. Jay was really clean too. I mean, he spent all the time cleaning the cabin while Eric and I just basically played around together all day. Jay also didn't seem too firm on talking to us on a social level. I guess he figured that he was better than Eric and I were in a way. He wasn't my favorite kind of person, but then again I was really certain he didn't like me very much either. Jay was really cocky, but the only thing that confused me was I didn't know what Jay was cocky about. He had a nice body, but his face wasn't all that. It confused me that he was the lead singer of Eric's band (as I found out). The other guy, Adrian, had a more attractive face that Jay too. Eric's face was too good to even compare on Jay's level. I guessed that it was the way that Jay carried himself. While Eric was really humble about his looks, Jay seemed to milk all the sexuality he had. Girls seemed to fall for that confidence that he had. "You can talk to me here," Eric toughened up with a really stern look on his face, "Anything you can tell me, you can tell Damien too." I sneered openly to catch the eye of Jay. Eric had this big sex appeal when he was trying to act like a tough guy. It was charming as hell. Sometimes he was like a teddy bear that you just wanted to wrap up and take home with you to cuddle with at night. Eric however, had the tendency to also have this really sexual attraction about him. He could turn the boyish charm and the sexual charm on and off without even being aware of it. He was completely clueless of all the charisma that he possessed. "Look, you can stop showing off and talk with me because this is serious," Jay told him, bluntly. I had a little clue that Jay and Eric had this unspoken animosity. They were both really proper when they spoke to each other like they weren't really ever fond of each other to begin with. Jay and Eric never either really mentioned a dislike for each other, but it seemed like they weren't the best friends either. Eric reluctantly followed him out of the hall. I could see Jay walking further down, but not far enough for me not to hear what they were saying. I didn't think they genuinely cared about me hearing, perhaps they even wanted me to hear what they were saying. "What was so important?" "I want to know where you stand with this whole situation with Damien." Jay saying that showed that he had suspicions about me. I guess he wanted to know about whom I was talking to on the phone. Jay seemed like he was more smart than he sometimes showed off but he used his brain for the wrong reasons. "Yo, I am going to be upright with you," Eric licked his lips, "I don't want Damien to be here anymore. I think it's wrong. Besides, Damien being here is beginning to mess with my mind. The longer he stays here, the harder the fact that I will have to let him go becomes." "So where do you stand?" "I want to let him go, immediately without all the trading shit." Jay's face wrinkled up like a raisin, "You are serious? We need Byron to become leader of the Syndicate first so that he can help funding with Vida. You forgot about our music? You forgot about Adrian?" Jay looked like he was trying to hold back and in a way so did Eric. I had no way Eric was feeling the way he felt. He kept licking his sexy red lips over and over with a long wet tongue. I could tell he was nervous by the way he leaned over the desk, allowing his ripped tanned muscles to clutch onto the ivory counter. Eric asked almost suddenly, "Why do you always have to bring up Adrian?" "Why not?" Jay complained and then he seemed to let loose, "He cares about you! What you have with Damien seems like some kind of childhood infatuation. Through all this Adrian wants to be with you. I'm not talking about any preschool love. I'm talking Adrian wants to have a mature relationship with you. Then when it was just budding, you decide you want to forget about him." "I am not trying to forget about him," Eric denied, intensely brushing his hands through his pitch black hair, "It's more complicated then what you think. You don't understand Damien and me." "How can I?" Jay raged, "You guys spend hours locked up in rooms together! No one knows what the fuck you two are all about." "It isn't your business!" "What about Adrian?" Jay explained, trying to get real intense with it and I think it was working, "You know and I know that Damien isn't the same guy you fell in love with. Adrian however, has been there. Right now I think he would be thinking about you. What do you think Damien is thinking about? He doesn't want you . . . he wants to be with Robbie!" Eric looked real emotional. I could tell when Eric was emotional. Eric was real sensitive and it seemed like the more you poked at him, the more he showed that he was using all his willpower to resist himself from losing control. He tensed up his lips real tight and arched his eyebrows. His arms pulsed with all kinds of muscles that were real sexy and compact. I guess because of Eric's baby face that Jay seemed to not see these warnings. He just seemed to continue to poke at Eric. I didn't blame Jay though, because even I recognized that everything that Jay was saying came from some sort of truth. I would go with Robbie if I had the chance. There wasn't a lot of competition between Eric and Robbie. Eric was nice, but then so was Robbie. The difference was that Robbie had enough money to hold me over for two lifetimes, while Eric was a struggling musician with an income that seemed to change more than the stock market. Eric was all cute and all, but then Robbie was FAR from ugly. I guess there was something that attracted me more to Eric then Robbie and I guess it was because of the amount of comfort I felt when I was near him. Eric and I really seemed to vibe without saying anything. Regardless of my comfort towards Eric, I would be stupid not to want to go back to Robbie. Eric wasn't looking in Jay's eyes but he was looking down at the ground with his forehead cupped in his palms, "When he gets his memory back, everything will be fine." I couldn't believe Eric said that. Haha, he was serious about it too! "You really do believe that?" Jay said and started to laugh steadily, "Don't you think that if Damien was going to get his memory back, then he would have got it back by now?" Jay was sounding real mean and raunchy by now and I could see Eric was getting tired of it. "Shut the fuck up," Eric said and pushed past him. He was walking back to the room and Jay was chasing behind him steadily. I dove past the shadows and ended up on the other side of the room before the two came clashing into the door. They both looked pissed and both looked like their argument wasn't finished. That was when Eric reached in the closet beside the den and through me a coat that I had never even seen before. He wore one himself. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" "I need fresh air and I don't trust you with him," Eric said bluntly, talking about me as though I wasn't even in the room, "When we get back, I'm getting ready to take Damien back to New Jersey in the morning." Jay defiantly stared him in the eyes, "No you fucking aren't?! Who made you God? Listen, dickhead, we don't need you on this kidnaping scheme. You aren't going anywhere with him, not for fresh air and damn well not to leave!" Jay definitely showed he didn't like Eric by calling him dickhead and Eric didn't look like he was too broken up about it either. "Yeah, well how about I call the cops?" Eric threatened. It definitely seemed to set a mood. I remained as the bystander and just stared but my mouth dropped completely open. My expression only added to the sort of disaster between them. This was definitely a conflict, if it wasn't before. "You can't be fucking serious?" Jay said, "Do you realize that you will be arrested too? We are all in this together Eric. Don't let your relationship with Damien affect your relationship with us." "Too late," Eric replied with a rigorous tone that showed brashness, "This is how it's going to go down. Damien and I are going to go for a walk. When I get back, you are going to have our bags packed. Then we are going to walk out of here tomorrow." "Or what?" "Or I'm going to call the police," Eric explained, "I'm going to admit everything to them. I am going to tell them the plan and everything. You can't stop us. We'll be back in about an hour, so you have a lot of time to get our stuff ready." I didn't speak. There wasn't much to say. Jay gave me one of those, "look what you did" kind of looks. It was strange because I knew that somehow he was blaming me for something that I really didn't have any control of. Eric seemed to have his mind made up about this. I couldn't say I didn't mind either. I followed Eric out of the door and onto the porch where we stood there for a while. I was wondering what Jay was going to do. I didn't know whether Eric was being brave or stupid. Jay wasn't just going to pack our bags and just let his dreams of a stardom life fade away like that. I mean, it really scared me to know what kinds of things Jay would be thinking about in that one hour instead of packing our bags. Eric was real slick as we walked into the snow-covered field. There was a plain whiteness all around, however the snow seemed real squishy as though it was melting. It hadn't been that much colder lately in fact. He seemed extra sexy to me for some reason. Eric walked ahead of me. He had on this big ass Northface jacket with the same shade of blue that I usually saw him wearing. He had on this oversized white-tee underneath but seemed like he was getting sort of hot from the big ass Northface he was wearing. He looked back a lot as he led me into the white field. I guess he thought that I wasn't following as closely to him. I wasn't really following that close to him. I felt sort of distant and emotional. Eric had definitely seemed like a whole different person today. I mean, he was still that nice kind of guy, but his confidence seemed completely different. I remembered seeing how he acted towards Jay. It was justified, but still a little mean and different from Eric's normal demeanor. "We are almost there, just follow the trail of white colored trees," he said and pointed towards the trees that formed a row. Then when he turned around, he asked, "Are you cool?" Eric gave me one of those concerned looks, but I just smiled to let him know it was ok. He smiled back of course, flashing his white teeth and bending his sexy red lips as though knowing that now everything was fine. He waited and walked closer to me and was sort of singing. He wasn't really singing, but he was sort of humming. Still, his voice was very soft and angelic. I had heard his voice get real deep at times, but I could tell that his real voice was just a sort of sexy, sweet boy band boy kinda voice. He was beautiful when he hummed. He seemed to vibe with the environment all around him so that it became almost like him. He would turn around and smile, then wrap his arm around my neck like someone would do to their little brother or something. It was a comfortable feeling, that made me remember the attraction to him but also took out a lot of the uncomfortable tension that the attraction could carry with it. We were walking up a hill and I realized that it was getting real woody. The hills were steep and distant. I had almost forgotten where we were going because I had gotten lost in the majestic figure that made up Eric. Perfect skin, deep eyes and these deep dimples that came out when he smiled . . . which he did often did when our eyes caught one another and there was a moment of awkwardness. I realized that while I was mesmerized in him, we were moving towards a hill and there was a dune of snow above us that could have been compared to the size of a mountain. We seemed like we were in a valley now, with mountains all over us. Eric began to lead me into this cave I guess that was dug into the side of the hill. The cave was real hot and humid. "Where are we?" "It's a grotto. It's a sort of ice cavern that Derek found out about when we were hiking up to this cavern to bring you here." It was beautiful. There were these things that looked like crystals. They were green crystals that were strange and beautiful, just like Eric. They stuck out of the black walls of the cave. There was a source of light, but I wasn't sure where it had come from. I bent over to look at the crystals. My hands dug into them trying to get them out. They were so nice. I figured that maybe I could save one for a memorandum or something. I mean, they looked really nice. The fucking things didn't bulge though. They stayed stuck in the wall even while I kicked at it trying to pull it out. I fucking managed to work up a sweat. It was fucking hot too! I didn't understand why it was so hot and there was snow on the ground outside of the grotto. "Why is it so hot in here?" I asked and there was no answer. I picked up my head and looked around, realizing that Eric was no where in sight. I looked on the ground and saw that he had put his heavy jacket down. Beside the heavy jacket I realized that there was a shirt, pants, socks and Eric's white boxer briefs. I almost laughed as I put down my jacket, wondering why Eric was getting naked in this hot ass cave. I began to walk down the trail that led deeper into the cave and led towards that light source that I didn't see. The walls seemed to be more and more stuffed with these crystals. The crystals reflected off each other and caused my reflection to be seen with in them. Even without my jacket, I realized that it was getting hotter. It seemed less and less like I was in the Appalachian Mountains and more like I was in Jamaica. I began to realize why Eric felt it necessary to take off all his clothes. There was no sight of him though and trust I was VERY willing to see how Eric looked like naked. There was this smell in the air that was light and sort of lemony. I felt so alone all of a sudden, walking faster down the tunnel and deeper into the grotto. It seemed to go on forever. The lemony smell began to get real sweet. It was all around an enchanting experience just to walk down this path. If not for my desire to see Eric naked, I think I would have spent the whole time just walking up and down the tunnel. Finally though I caught up to him when I realized that I heard movement. The heat had gotten to the point that I had even had to roll up my long sleeved shirt just to feel comfortable. "Eric!" There was no answer. I walked closer, letting my boots trample the rocky granite underneath me. It was real strange. The rocks were soft so that when I stepped on them, they just crushed underneath me. Then I heard a splash. I walked into this sort of chamber of the cave, but the chamber really didn't have any ceiling or dome. There was just a light that made it seem like a volcano top or something. Inside the room, I saw steam and a lot of it. Then I realized where the warmth was coming from. There was a geyser in the center of these chambers. The geyser seemed calm but it was kind of hot. There were actually patches of grass growing all around the geyser even though we were in the middle of an ice cavern. "Eric?" I asked, when I saw something moving underneath the hot spring. The hot spring didn't look very deep so it seemed like had just enough room to be swimming across. I could see his naked body clearly from on top of the water. His shoulder muscles flexed out with strength as he swam and his ass tightened with each stroke making him seem so captivating and precious like the crystals all around. He swam to the other side of the hot springs and right to me. I wanted to finger his tight brown ass immediately. I began to fantasize about doing things to it. I could see him poking his head out of the water. His eyes were deep and they immediately began to stimulate my groin area. I fought off the urge to begin to touch my aching ballsack (even to brush near it) because I knew that the slightest movement would make my dick swell up like a bruise. "This place is nice," I said and let out this smile, "Are you trying to impress me or something?" His brown, cinnamon like skin began to blush with red and he seemed to getting more submissive, "Nah . . . I'm just . . . I dunno." "Oh, now you're shy?" "I just wanted to show you this place. It's Paradise," he explained. I looked around. It definitely looked like a hot spot. I mean there was something about this place. I didn't know whether it was the smell, the soft ground underneath me, the crystal walls, the heat or even the clear enchanting bayou that Eric was shoulder deep in. The water was so clear that it looked like it had been purified or something. Everything just seemed like, as Eric said, "Paradise." "Can I come in?" I asked, acting a little timid as a sort of joke to mock Eric, "I mean this is your special spot. I don't want to interrupt you." "No, this is 'our' spot," he quickly assured me and smirked, "I brought you here didn't I? So come on in. Hurry up too..." I laughed at his forcefulness. It was funny to see a guy like Eric being forceful, especially when he was in a calm state like this. Either way, I began to take off my shirt and realized that I had an audience immediately by the way he was staring at me. His eyes had caught contact with my eyes and then his eyes quickly migrated to my chest area. I could feel the silence as his eyes buried in me as I buttoned down my shirt. He watched steadily as I took off the shirt and let out my chest. I guess he liked what he saw because of the way he stared at it. He was just so quiet all of a sudden. Both of us were so quiet. There was that awkwardness that said, "there is a lot of attraction and there aren't a lot of things to say at this moment." Since we were short of words, we didn't say anything. He stared and I began to take off my pants. I let them fall to my ankles before I took down my boxers. My dick had a thickness on it from seeing Eric's ass earlier, but it wasn't hard. Eric's eyes were beginning to move around now and I could tell he was nervous. He had seen my dick getting thicker. Either it was that he was nervous or he was fighting his temptations not to look out of respect for my privacy or something. I guessed that was the way a nice guy like Eric would be thinking. Finally I was done undressing, butt naked, horny as hell and wanting to feel the waters in the cove. Eric swam up to me and in more ways then one he lowered me into the waters. He gave me a thoughtful warning as he gripped me with strong arms, "Be careful, its real slippery and the water temperature changes a lot." The water was real hot. It felt good. If the heat of the water didn't make my dick harder, then Eric grabbing onto my waist how he was definitely made me hard. Eric kept holding onto it for a while and as I looked down I realized that only my dick stuck out like a shotgun. Eric's mahogany, thick and very suckable dick was sort of soft and didn't have that much weight. It made me feel awkward, so I wanted to calm back down and the only way to do that was to get him to stop touching me. "Haha, I'm not an idiot, I won't slip." "Oh," he said, looking a little disappointed and let his grip loosen off my waist, which he was using to lower me into the water. He looked real sad though as though I had said, "Don't touch me!" I couldn't believe how sensitive he was! It was unbelievable really. I guess it meant that he liked me that much to care about how I reacted to everything he did. I took it within myself to splash him with water, to loosen him up, "I was just playing around with you. I don't mind you helping me out." "Oh yeah?" He splashed me back and then I had to splash him back. We splashed each other over and over. I grabbed water in my palms and threw it in his eyes. I felt bad all of a sudden, like this deep regret as he put his hands over his eyes. He was real quiet too and I knew that I had gone too far. There could have been rocks in this water or something. He hadn't really been throwing water at me, but only splashing a little bit at me. He had been real gentle with it. That was when he had completely caught me off-guard. He had disappeared under the water as I tried to wade closer to him to see if he was all right. I felt him at my ankles and I remember was smiling. Then I remembered a deep laugh. I felt him suddenly grip onto my ankles and work his way to bear-hug me. One of his hands squeezed at my nose and the other wrapped around my waste. I felt his dick against me. I felt his pubic hair against my skin. His skin was against my skin. I had never felt so happy about being dunked into the water like I did at that time. I was actually smiling at the time that he dunked me under the water and let me loose to swim back up to the surface. As we came to the surface I ended up getting him back though by pulling his feet up from underneath him and let him fall back into the water. That was when I realized he was really hurt. He came out from the water, clutching his leg. There was a long cut against it, that wasn't too deep but it was bleeding and it was really red. "Damn Eric, I'm sorry," I said suddenly. He laughed, "You got me back. That was great. You know I always wanted this . . ." His happiness about the situation completely confused me so I asked, "You wanted to be cut?" He laughed harder, so hard that I had to laugh. I didn't know exactly what we were laughing about, but it felt so right. I found myself taking my shirt from the bank of the water and trying to wrap it around the cut to put a little pressure on it. It was real sweet. It felt like we were connecting I think. "It's ok, it's just a cut. I always wanted someone that is just like me," he said softly and explained, "I mean, we are just alike. I can share anything with you and you can relate to it. There is a feeling I have every time I'm around you." "I feel it too," I said softly. I don't know why I kissed him just then. It was one of those things that I had to do. I mean the moment was too romantic not to do it. I had thought of Robbie, but the thought of him had faded as Eric and I looked deep in each other's eyes. We kissed, not only kissed but I tongued him down thoroughly. We were a like. He knew exactly how I liked to kiss. He would swirl his tongue around mine and then let me suck on his tongue as he pulled it back out. Then he would insert it again but this time go straight for the back of my throat, while trying to lick the roof of my mouth and all. It was an orgasmic kiss. As our lips separated to break the kiss, I realized that I had my hand on his face. My palm was spread against the side of his face as though just to feel his baby soft skin. Eric licked his pink lips and so did I. Eric had left a taste of Paradise on my lips. Licking where he had kissed me felt almost like sealing the kiss and I saw what Eric had done it. The feeling was too much. There was way too much sensation. I reached down and grabbed his dick. It felt thick and as I clutched it I gave it a tender squeeze so that he squirmed in satisfaction. "No, Damien," he denied me, but didn't actually remove my hand from his penis, "I don't want us to cross into that line until you are...until..." "Until I get my memory back?" I predicted, reading from the way his lips were moving. He nodded and I cursed. This was the most romantic fucking environment ever with privacy and everything. There was sex everywhere. His dick had become harder then mine and was now poking me in the fucking abdomen like a baseball bat or some shit! I couldn't believe he was going to give me blue balls after all this! He was giving himself blue balls! "So what was the point of bringing me here?!" I asked with a severe temper, "I mean, I thought we had something going?" "We do," Eric suggested and seemed to be a little short on words. I couldn't believe he was turning me down. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. I mean, all this time I had thought that he was trying to fuck me or something, but now when I was finally willing to do it then he backed down! I felt like I was some kind of reject! "So why are you waiting?" I asked him thoroughly, with passion, "After all this? Bringing me to Paradise and for what? This could have been perfect and now nothing!" "I want shit to be right first, Damien. You get your memory back and then I won't feel like you are making love for me just for the sex." "How? I want you so bad," I admitted, surprising even myself, "But when will you get to see the truth? Even you told me that I will be leaving tomorrow to go back to Robbie. Do you think some miracle will come up and I will get my memory back before tomorrow? Because that is the only way that I'm going to choose you over Robbie!" I didn't hear what I said until after I said it. He looked beyond disappointed. I had succeeded in hurting him like he had hurt me. I think maybe I even managed to hurt him more than he did me. We both separated and got dressed. I was pissed and the blue balls made me even more worse. I couldn't believe that two very capable people were walking around with two hard ons when we both knew that we could do something about it. My hard-on hadn't gone down until we were halfway to the cabin and even then I still had that tension feeling in my groin area. The slightest thought of sex caused it to keep popping up and going back down. I think Eric was having the same problem from how he walked and how he was trying to hide the crotch area of his pants with his shirt. I was beyond mad and I knew Eric was mad because I said I would never choose Robbie over him. We were real quiet as we walked out of Paradise. It was as fulfilling as either of us really wanted it to be. I wouldn't forget the way to Paradise though. I remembered what Eric had said. He said the way to paradise was just by following the trail of white colored trees. We made our way back to the cabin and we hadn't talked the whole way. I wanted to apologize for what I said about Robbie, but I knew I would just have to wait for a time where both of us weren't so tense. I had gone up to the house, completely forgetting that there was even a person named Jay. All I could think about was my disappointment, my regret and my desire to be closer to Eric. The way he looked at me. It had made me feel so equal. I had never remembered feeling that way, even when I was in the Syndicate with Robbie. Robbie had always let it known that I was better than everyone, except him. Eric's show of equality was so special. We walked up to the porch and that was where I had to stop him. "Eric," I suddenly said and looked him into his eyes, "I got to tell you. I'm sorry for what happened before. I was just really mad that I couldn't be with you when I wanted to so much." "I just want to wait till the right time," he began to repeat like he had done earlier. "I know," I explained and I found that we managed to somehow be holding hands, "I was lying when I said I would never choose Robbie over you. Truth with all this time we been here together, I'm not sure. I am willing to stay here until I get my memory back. What I'm saying is, I really feel like we have something here and I want to look into it before I make my decision." "You saying you want to stay here with me?" he asked, almost in disbelief. "I can't go back to Robbie knowing I have feelings for you," I honestly explained for the first time, "I'll hang around until I get my memory back . . . or maybe make new memories." This time it was him that leaned over to kiss me. It was just like the kiss in Paradise. Our lips touched and it seemed like he wanted more pressure between us so he put his hands on the back of my head. I felt our lips pushing hard against one another and he began to lick all over my mouth. I began to feel that sexual tension rising him again since we were standing so close. I had that feeling of confusion. I wasn't sure exactly what I was telling him. It was one of those feelings that I just had. I had to act on it. That was when the light of the cabin flashed us as the door opened. I wanted to hit Jay for opening the door, but then the figure came out and it wasn't even Jay. The person looked at us with our arms intertwined and out tongues embracing as though it was the most disgusting thing in the world. The person was Adrian. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ADRIAN I had come up to the cabin. I found my way from the directions that Eric's brother Derek had given me. I had found my cousin Jay in the cabin. He and Eric were both wrapped up in this kidnaping situation with Eric's ex-boyfriend Damien. Now I had come to the cabin, trying to understand why Eric wanted to kidnap Damien. I was trying to secure my relationship with Eric before he fed into Damien's intense sexual magnetism. So many people liked Damien, but then so many people hated him as well. It was that simple when it came to Damien. Either hate him or like him. Now they were kissing. I had opened the door because Jay was too busy panicking. Jay was worried that Eric was going to blow the whole kidnaping scheme that they had going. There was a sound on the front porch and I realized that Eric had probably come back. Eric's left arm was around Damien's head. He was gently stimulating Damien's face with a soft rubbing down. Damien had a grip on Eric's waist like they were slow dancing or something. My eyes almost went blind as I saw Eric's tongue enter into Damien's mouth and Damien was vibrantly licking back with his eyes clothes. They were both in euphoria and both seemed a little irritated that I had opened the door to catch them in a time of passion. Eric was still caressing Damien's face when he turned to me in surprise, "A-Adrian?" Fucking bastard! I turned my back on him and walked into the cabin. I didn't know how to react. I didn't want to cry, but I was so emotional. I suffered to hold back tears and didn't want Eric to see me in my weakest moment. I didn't want Damien to see either. I just walked inside of the cabin, wanting Eric to have kissed me like that instead of Damien. I knew they were following me and I went straight into the room that Jay was hiding in. Jay was packing something and I realized that they were bags. I was beginning to get confused by everything. "You fucking bastard," I told Eric as he followed behind me. Damien was right behind him. Damien's face didn't show confusion or anything like that. He was just watching blankly, unmoved by my show of compassion. I realized that he couldn't understand it. All his life he could have any man that he ever wanted by the snap of his finger. They loved his compelling conversation, his plush lips and especially not to mention the sculpture of an ass that he had. Any gay guy would be an idiot not to want to fuck that designer ass that Damien had. I figured even some straight guys would want to fuck that ass to, which showed how Damien was able to turn Eric. I didn't have all those things. I hated him for having everything he needed but still wanting more. He still wanted Eric... "Look, Adrian," Eric began, with a courteous sound in his voice, "I never meant to hurt you in any of this. I just need time to explore the past and understand where things are with me and Damien before I could ever secure something real with you." "And what? I am supposed to wait?!" I asked, pissed off, "You fucking left me back in Jersey! You abandoned me!" I had been wanting to tell him all this shit for so long. Finally it was coming out and my hands were shaking violently. Jay and Damien were staring at me like I was crazy. They didn't understand what I was going through. My fists were balled up and I realized Eric was keeping his distance from me. He could see how mad I was, but when I looked at him, he was so mild and approachable. This was the Eric that I fell in love with. It was so hard to stay mad, but seeing Damien's face in the near background seemed to encourage my anger. "From the way you're overreacting, I could see why he left you," Damien interrupted, with his eyes glaring around as though to purposely aggravate me. I couldn't help it. I was breathing heavily by then. I was about to rampage. I could have sworn that at that moment, all I saw was red. I stared a hole through Damien. The pompous asshole didn't look down though. He stared back at me and I knew that if another second would have passed, we would have been facing off. "Hey, hey," Jay suddenly prevented the clear conflict, "Maybe Damien should wait in the next room." Damien looked at Eric, almost like they had one mind. It pissed me off to see Eric walk up to Damien. He was probably whispering nice things into his ear at that moment. I saw Damien nod suddenly after speaking privately with Eric, then he looked at me, then turned and walked out of the room. That was when Eric turned back to me, "Look, you might not like what Damien is saying, but he is right. I did know that you would overreact and not understand what I'm doing here. The kiss with Damien was unavoidable. We have a lot of history and all those feelings have been bottled up in me. You know how I felt about Damien when you got involved with me. Its not a surprise..." "Fuck you!" I cried out, "You think its all about fucking Damien. That is your fucking problem. When will you realize that you and Damien can't be together? Robbie won't just let you be with Damien, your goddam family doesn't like Damien and Damien doesn't even want to be with you." I hadn't broken him. For some reason I wanted him to scream back at me. I knew that Eric was real sensitive when it came to his relationship with Damien. He didn't like people talking about it. I could see Eric really thinking about it for the first time. I mean he sat down and everything. "I . . . I dunno. I realize there is a chance Damien won't get his memory back, but there is a chance he will. I'm so confused. I care about you Adrian. Sometimes I wish that I were two people so that I could love you both. But I'm not. I don't want to hurt you or Damien but . . ." That was when Damien walked into the room again, "Eric, are you done yet?" I snapped. Seeing his face again had turned me into a ravaging animal. It was outrageous that the asshole couldn't wait. It was like every time Eric was getting close to me, then Damien would show up. His face looked like he was guilty of actually knowing that Eric was beginning to express his feelings to me. I saw Jay reaching out to me. If anyone knew what I was thinking, it would have been Jay. He was trying to prevent what I was just about to do, but there was no preventing it. I snatched Damien up and bulldozed him through the door. His body flung out of my hands and was sent flying across the other side of the room. "I'm gonna kill you, you fucking flunkie bastard!" I cried to him, "I'm gonna open your fucking brain." I felt Jay after me and a sort of panic behind the door as Eric and Jay tried to restrain me, but I was too quick at that moment. As soon as Damien landed across the room, I was after him. I picked up a wooden bench and threw it at him. Damien managed to dodge it, but right after that I was on his ass. I took his head and began to smash it into the wall. "Get off of him, get off of him!" Jay and Eric were both screaming in unison. I wanted to get off of him. I realized that I was hurting him probably too much, but I couldn't. I was banging his head constantly into the wall. I wanted to bang it until I saw his skull split. I wanted to show him all the anger that I had for him. I wanted to destroy his face so not even Eric would want him. I wanted to rip his neck off and throw it in front of Eric to show my disapproval. No one understood what I wanted. I didn't really understand it! Jay and Eric were both trying to pull me off, but my grip was too strong on him. I began to cry. "I want to let go!" I cried out because it was the truth. I wanted to let go, but I couldn't. My mind said "let him go," but my body wouldn't stop until I was sure that he was dead. Damien himself was punching at me and his hands were heavy. He was real strong. I couldn't believe that I was able to nullify such an incredible pain from his heavy fists. I guess it was the anger. His punches were fucking putting 'dents' into my stomach and I still wouldn't let go of his head. I had a hold on his ears and was banging his head hard against the wall. The wooden planks against the cabin wall were beginning to crack underneath the force. Everyone was screaming at this time, except for Damien. He was real quiet even as I slammed his head in the wall. At first he had his eyes closed, but now I could see his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Eric arms trying to pull me off had no affect and he seemed to be panicking that he couldn't save his precious boyfriend. I had a grip and I wasn't letting go. Jay had taken a chair and slammed it against my back so that I could let Damien go, but it was for nothing. The chair broke against my back and splinters got stuck underneath my skin, but nothing happened. I could see Damien's punches beginning to grow less and losing vigor. The life was being sucked right out of him . . . Damien was dying. They had tried to get me off of him again but this time by combining both their strengths to claw me off. It didn't work because I ended up grasping onto Damien's throat and now his death was coming even quicker. Damien was moving less now and even though I had him pinned, he still wasn't kicking out. I had never felt so excited in my life. The rush of killing someone had gone through my fingers. This boy that had destroyed the only real relationship that I had ever had. No one thought a gay, candid and sometimes a bit ignorant guy like me would be so passionate about hating a man like I did at this moment. Behind the smiles, this was what was there. I hated Damien to the core of my body and even though I wanted to let go, my hate would not allow me to let go. I was going to kill him . . . and Eric was witnessing it all. Suddenly I felt this intense pain in my back. I turned my eyes around and realized Eric had stabbed me with a kitchen knife. He hadn't stabbed me too deeply, but deep enough to cause me to pause for a moment. Still, it wasn't deep enough to get me to stop. I continued to choke at Damien. There was screaming but all I understood was the complete silence. Eric stabbed me again but this time he stabbed me in my front. This time I did let go and I heard Jay cursing at Eric. It wasn't important what Jay was saying but I could tell he was pissed. My grip went off of Damien's neck all of a sudden and there was this deep regret. Why had I let them get the best of me? I had turned to a complete beast. Eric stabbing me seemed the only way to calm me down and stop me from doing what I knew I really didn't want to do. I looked at Damien and realized that he was still breathing. Thank god . . . I hadn't killed him. I fell in the floor and realized why my body was feeling so numb. The sound began to hurt and I felt my insides exploding with pain. I began to cough up blood and it was all around me. I saw Jay standing over me, he ran to get some dishcloth to cover the wound. Eric had stabbed me too deep this time. He had pushed through the tissue and I think he must have hit an artery or something because of the amount of blood everywhere. "Adrian, Adrian I'm so sorry," Eric said and put his hand on my wound, "I had to. You were killing him. Nothing could get you off! Adrian, I'm sorry!" I put my hand over his, "No . . . you did what you had to do. I was, no, I wasn't myself. I was jealous. I wanted what you had with him. I was selfish. I didn't realize that I couldn't have it. No one can have what you have with him." "Adrian, I only loved twice in my life, you were one of them," he told me and I smiled. I repented then. I whispered something into Eric's ear. "Love Damien like I love you, but be careful. As you see, the love that I pass onto you can turn into madness. I was dangerously in love." He nodded, promising that he would carry on this same deep passion that I had for him. I knew that the pain had become too intense for me to deal with. My body didn't really want to fight off the pain. It gave in. I guess it was because I realized that I had allowed myself to be completely conquered by love. I gave in. Fuck it, I threw in the towel! I saw Jay coming back with some medicine kits but I pushed them off of me. There was no need to stop the blood. Eric was holding me and that was all I really wanted. That was all I ever wanted. His eyes pierced into me and I felt him grab me up and beginning to rock me as though to sleep. There was a white light that appeared as Eric leaned over and kissed me on my lips. He shared my last breath. The white light engulfed everything now, even my beloved Eric. After all I had been through, gay boys did go to heaven . . . ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Questions and comments welcome at ( sum1plezzcall_911@hotmail.com ) The story isn't over yet and there are a handful more chapters left, but this is a major climax, so enjoy the chapter and more to come . . .