Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and problems from the POV of a young man. If you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then refrain from reading it.
This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me (found in HIGHSCHOOL section of nifty)
Feel free to send email or comments about the story to
sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com
Edited
LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life
ANATOMY OF DESIRE
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DAMIEN
Robbie was like an epidemic. The sexual tension that he carried, he had easily spread it through me. Just seeing the look of passion of raw sexuality in his actions were making me more aroused.
I didn't have to dream anymore as he leaned me on the bar, letting me lay down completely flat on the counter surface. I was naked by then and the counter was cold against my ass cheeks. He started by kissing me, shoving his mouth against mine as he stood over me. It was almost like he was trying to wake me up or give me mouth to mouth or something like that.
I felt him pop the bottle of champagne, "Dame this is good wine."
I laughed as he wasted the champagne all over my chest. At first I sort of kicked out my legs and hands completely surprised by it. Robbie held me down almost like he was pinning me by my arms and legs. I lifted up my head just enough to see the wine wasting down my chest and flowing in my naval area.
"Damn man, why is it so cold?"
He laughed, "I'll get that off of you."
Robbie gave a smile, it was a fluently distinct smile that spread from all sides of his mouth. As he dipped his head down, his lips sucked the wine from my chest. He sucked the wine like he was sucking it from a straw. I could feel his sparkling white teeth slightly grazing my skin. Wild passion and distinct feeling of satisfaction sprang throughout my body. As he licked my stomach, he had somehow made his way to my lips.
We kissed as though for the first time. His lips had the sweetness of honey and the burn of hot liquor. They were cold at first, but had gotten warm and burnished against mine. He kissed me, not taking long before his tongue was roaming through me and I was being drawn into the passion of his kiss. I grabbed the back of his head, loving the kiss and longing for more.
He had pulled back from me when the bottle of wine suddenly dropped out of his hands. It hit the ground clashing into a million pieces and sending the expensive full bottle of champagne across the room. I looked at the piece of glass that had gotten into his hands.
"Dame it!" he said, as he pulled the chard out of his finger and sucked on his finger immediately trying to stop the blood.
It was really rare for Robbie to drop anything. I mean the guy was smooth in every way of the word. Clumsiness to him was probably like memory was to me. It was nonexistent.
"You have something else on your mind?" I asked.
He looked around the room, slyly and then back at me, "How could I have anything else on my mind but you? I mean...have you seen yourself naked?"
The question was kinda funny but I found it sweet. I walked up to him and took his finger out of his mouth. I kissed it at first, but then slowly allowed it to enter my mouth. Robbie's striking eyes gazed hard on me. He was licking his lips as I sucked on his finger, almost like he was having some kind of physic connection with me sucking his finger.
"You like it?" I asked suddenly.
"I love it," he teased and then pulled me close into him, "I love you...I'm beginning to love saying I love you."
"At least 'you' like me," I sort of sneered, remembering all the things that had just happened at the meeting, "It seems like Byron is probably getting an uprising against me started."
I don't know if I said that because it was bothering me or if I just wanted to get away from telling him I loved him back. It was ironic. Robbie was the player and yet I was the one afraid of commitment. I wanted to commit to Robbie, tell him the L word a million times, but I wanted to make sure the time was right. The way he said it wasn't with much emotion or feeling. He almost made the L word into a nonchalant thing. I was afraid of that. I didn't want it to be in a time of passion where your mind gets tied up in your emotions.
"Byron is just...he is insecure in his positioning," Robbie explained, placing me back on the counter, "He never used to be like that. Power can make a man paranoid. He thinks you are here to replace him."
I laughed, "Why would he think that?"
"Because you 'are' here to replace him..."
Before I could say anything Robbie had started kissing me. He kissed my neck and then brought it up to my mouth. Before long I had even forgotten what it was that we were talking about. His suction against my neck was drawing my breathing to become something like a dance. His touch was infecting and yet I knew that this man was dangerous. I knew being with him was becoming dangerous for me. All of these things I knew, but it was the last thing I thought about when I was actually with him.
"I love your lips," he complimented me.
I watched as he parted my lips with his finger. At first he was playing with them almost like you would do with whip cream. He was touching them with his finger, rubbing all around them. Then he parted them and put his finger into my mouth. I rocked his fingers against the back of my mouth. He licked his lips thoroughly, rubbing onto the bulge in his pants as I sucked his finger. I knew he was turned on a lot by it. He allowed his finger to push up and down against my lips. He kissed me again, passionately.
He worshiped my lips in a way I could never know. There were just these certain parts of me that he completely adored. My ass, my lips and my eyes. He seemed to talk about them all the time. I liked it, no I loved it! Robbie knew how to seduce and I was definitely hard to seduce.
"Why do you keep stopping?" I asked as he pulled back, just to look at them.
"I'm sort of hungry."
He caught me completely off guard with that. I was standing naked in front of him as he kept passionately kissing me down with such a passion and now he was saying that he was hungry. I figured that was the reason for him being so clumsy earlier.
"Well, its ok. Maybe we can continue this later. You go find something to eat."
If I said I wasn't disappointed I would be lying. I was definitely disappointed. I was more than disappointed actually. I wasn't pissed off, I just felt a little awkward I guess. I felt like my check just bounced or something like that.
"Come with me."
"Nah, I'm really sleepy. Its sort of getting late too, so I'll go do that..."
He kissed me, passionately patching up my lips with his as he said, "Please come. I'll make it up to you."
Finally I had agreed to go with him but I didn't know why afterwards. Robbie wasn't the kind of person who was hard to please. All you had to do was act like a chick would. You had to smile and entertain him as he ate, bend over when he was horny and do whatever he said in between that. Alright I guess he was in a way very goddam demanding. I guess it turned me on because I knew the whole time I was walking down to the basement floor, all I could think of was my raging desire for him.
His eyes would turn and look at me. Then he would smile a very sexual smile. His eyes were the most sexual part of him, even though his body didn't hurt much either. He had that stare, that predator stare. His stare came with the confidence and the fact that he could have anyone he ever desired.
All I could hear was the sweet music as we made our way to the bottom floor. Robbie had a restaurant in the building as well. I wasn't surprised he had a restaurant. I mean he also had an apartment, a fitness center and an office in the building. I wondered why Robbie was always going off places when he had everything he needed in this building.
"This place looks like a real restaurant."
"It is one..." he said and smirked.
The table cloth was a long white silky fabric. There were like booths. I could see in the other booths, but only to a certain extent where you could feel secure about your surroundings and yet still have a sense of privacy. I saw familiar faces to tell the truth. Byron was one of those familiar faces that I caught quickly. He was having dinner with a woman.
"Look, its Byron. He's staring over here," I explained to Robbie who was sitting very close to me on the booth's leather benches, "Who's that ugly lady with him?"
"His wife."
Eek! Robbie definitely looked at me like I had two heads or something. I couldn't help it though, the woman definitely didn't seem like the type of guy that Byron would be married to. For some reason I had the feeling that Byron was gay. I even had a thought that Byron and Robbie were lovers. I had felt like this probably because of how close they were all of the time. I guess that wasn't what was going on though because Byron seemed to be having a very sincere dinner with his wife at the moment.
I tried to figure out what to say as I watched Robbie order something for both of us (which normally I would have whined about because I hated him making my decisions).
"I'm sorry," was all I could come up with after all that thinking.
"No its ok. Byron is just catching a brick for me," he explained, thoroughly smoothing out his thousand dollar, "See that woman is the daughter of the CEO of a company that merged with us last year. The merger pushed major units. Street etiquette meant that someone in the Syndicate had to marry her to keep everyone loyal. I was supposed to but he stepped up."
I looked at her again. She wasn't 'that' ugly. She definitely looked like a rodent compared to the guys that I had saw in the Syndicate thus far (including Byron). It was hard to see them married, but I guess I had no choice but to accept it.
Byron had been really interested in her, until Robbie and I caught his attention though. I watched as he continuously stared at our table, gawking at us. Robbie didn't notice though or if he did he didn't act like it. By then they had brought the food and he was eating. Byron's stares were cold and fierce. He was mad at me and I knew it.
"You cold?"
"Humph?"
"Are you cold, Damien? I see you look a little shaky," he wondered, looking down at the plate of food that I had hardly touched.
I didn't want to tell him that Byron was eyeing me down or anything like that. I didn't want to cause a further rift in between them that I had already caused earlier at the boardroom. I wasn't the type of person that enjoyed having people fighting over something that I may have caused.
"I guess its cold."
"Come closer baby. I'll warm you up."
I felt a little awkward, probably because were already sitting dame close in the bench. Also Byron was still piercing at us. His eyes were still directly staring at us. Even though he could probably only see from our shoulders up in the next eating booth, he sure did gawk. We made eye contact several times, but the difference was that after we made eye contact, he didn't look away. He would just sort of continue staring as my eyes would drop to the floor.
Shivering more from his cold stares I felt Robbie suddenly take the initiative to pull me closer to him. After he had pulled me his hand still rested on my thigh. He gave me a look, a portrait look of desire as saw him no longer chewing his food.
"I'm 'really' gonna warm you up," he promised carnally, his lewd eyes cutting through me all of a sudden, completely making me stop shivering.
I looked around, watching to make sure that the waiter wasn't going to pop his head over the little booth to ask if we wanted something and catch Robbie looking at me like a piece of meat.
"What are you doing?" I hissed, whispering so low and realizing that Byron was still watching us.
"I told you I'll make it up to you," Robbie told me in a steamy, lewd voice, "I'm definitely not hungry anymore either..."
Suddenly he leaned over and kissed me. It was a quick kiss, so quick that I was sure that no one saw...no one but Byron who made it his personal goal to watch and see.
He found this funny probably because I had gotten so nervous from it, "You want me to keep kissing you?"
Somehow I knew Robbie would find a way to twist it up so that it made me seem like I was the one who was infatuated with him instead of the other way around. Even if I hated the life he lived, I couldn't help but feel this endless attraction to him. I know that he harbored one for me, but he always made it sound like the only reason that he liked me was because I was so crazy over him.
"If you want."
He kissed me more gently. Then he dragged in my head and cupped it in his arms. He kissed me longer this time, then put his hand on my crotch area. He stopped kissing me and then started to rub them. I let out a deep exhale, unsure of where he was going with it. His fingers were warm as they caressed my dick and then my balls, fondling them like a bag of goodies.
I grabbed onto his hand, "Robbie we are going to get caught."
Robbie looked around, "Caught by who? I own this building."
In a way he was right. I know that it was still no excuse for me to act like I liked it or whatever. It wasn't an excuse. The truth was I had no excuse. I was horny. I leaned back against the bench, feeling the warm cushion against my back as Robbie fondled me. Through my pants, his fingers made soft circles around my crotch area getting me completely hard within seconds. Robbie was known to get a little rough with it too, as he groped onto my balls thoroughly trying to get the most emotion out of them. He continued trying to dig through my boxers, trying to get loosen my belt and pull down my boxers a little. After only one attempt at this he had given up because I guess it seemed too difficult for him trying to undress me as I sat.
"Pull them down a little."
"Robbie I'm not gonna pull my pants down in the middle of a restaurant."
"We are in the corner baby. Just pull them down," he demanded bluntly, making me feel a little like a second class citizen, "You are going to like what I have to offer."
Regardless, I found myself pulling down my pants because I knew that he would end up talking me into it sooner or later anyway. I lifted my ass up off the bench enough to loosen my belt and pull down pants until they went just in the middle of my thighs. Then I pulled down my boxers, allowing my dick to pop up. The cold breeze blew up against it and I tried to cover it with my shirt immediately.
Quickly I dove back down, hiding my privates underneath the table cloth, but as I sat down I realized that it wasn't the chair I was sitting on. Robbie had his hand underneath me with the widest smirk across his face.
I jumped up a little, feeling like I had sat on his hand by accident, but when I saw his smirk I knew for sure that he had put it there. I had thought he just wanted to fondle...at most jerk me off for a little while. I mean he was horny, but I didn't know he was this horny. I realized in his eyes that he definitely had something else in his mind.
He stuck his middle finger up, "Go ahead baby. Sit on it."
"Robbie!" I whined probably too loud. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it. Oh god, I wanted to do it! I wanted to feel the sensation within me more than anything else! I wanted him to finger fuck me like I was a virgin hole or something. But it was just that voyeurism scared me to death at times.
"Sh, lower your voice?" he said, then I watched as he sort of moved the pointed middle finger up even more from the seat, "You are a man. You can take it. Just don't cry out if it gets too much to let everyone in here know how good my fingering is..."
"Cry out?" I laughed feeling a little challenged, "You are the most egotistical person I ever met."
"Then sit on it and prove to me that you can take it," he said.
I saw him put his finger in his mouth. He licked around it and let all the saliva get stuck on it. I guess people who just saw him putting his finger in his mouth would think he was having some tasty food. That was probably what nosy Byron was thinking. Byron sucking things definitely turned me on though. He knew how to make it look like a professional thing. He eyed me as he did it, looking me dead in the eye and first sticking out his tongue to lick the finger. Then he would slowly lean into the until his whole mouth surrounded it and his trimmed lips would start into a sucking motion.
I squatted on his finger now, which was resting on the chair underneath me. The feeling sprang throughout my asshole immediately. I gasped for breath at first, feeling my ass struggling against his middle finger. His finger was strong too, not bowing down to all the weight of my body coming down on it. He kept it still, allowing his own body to lean down into the chair behind the booths probably so no one could see him as much.
A sharp pain reached up into my stomach as Robbie's finger entered me. I held my breath and then let out a deep exhale after I had completely sat on his finger. Robbie let out a deep moan as he looked at the expression I had on my face just that moment. I guess I turned him on when he saw me in a little bit of pain. It wasn't that he was a sadist or anything, just that his sex drive seemed to revolve around him being in control. I could tell by the way he was moaning and licking his lips, he felt like he had total control at this moment.
"Fuck its so tight," I whined, "Suck on your finger some more."
Part of me really felt it was too tight but then another part of me was actually BEGGING to see Robbie sucking on his finger again. The way he did it was so sexual that I wanted to bury my seed in his mouth immediately.
He silently declined my request, "Nah, its good like this. The tightness is so warm and thick. The walls of your ass are so soft against my finger. Its so fucking hot...you are getting mega hard. I'm drizzling precum right now."
"Can I see?"
He already had his other hand down his clean slacks but it was hidden underneath the table. He seemed a little happy or probably excited that I wanted to see his dick. I saw him lift the table to discover that Robbie was already beating off and his long dick was already hanging out like a branch under the table cloth. The precum was between his fingers, becoming like a sticky goo. There was a lot actually, to just be precum. The brownish head of his dick was covered with the thick sperm. The sperm had leaked around his dick and even down towards his pubic hair.
"See, a whole jarful. I told you that you get me horny," he said, but the truth was by the way he was yanking on his dick I was sure that he was probably getting himself horny.
He got me horny too. I mean the cum was amazing against his dick. His nails scratched into his dick as he clawed through the skin trying to bring all the cum back to the head. His palm was full with the stuff.
"Finger me with that on."
"What you mean."
"I mean put some cum on your fingers and finger me with that."
A loud SLUSH arrived as he pulled his finger out of my ass and went to gather all the wet hot cum that was all over his dick. It was thick and creamy. The cum was raining down his cock head and down the shaft by now. Robbie was getting into it, I could see it in his face which explained why he found it necessary to arch back into the chair so much so that no one could see him. He got as much cum as possible onto his middle finger and then reentered my ass. I had excited him.
This time I was feeling the passion. I don't know if it was the cum that did it or that Robbie was now doing most of the pushing work as he thoroughly fingered my ass. Either way, I was more excited then ever.
I couldn't help but to reach and start to fondle my own dick. The action that I saw in Robbie's left shoulder as he continued to pound his dick was just making my own dick swell inside my pants. The intimacy and satisfaction was definitely coming in through my ass though. A part of me thought this was just a way of Robbie showing how freaky he was, but then this small part of me said that him doing this to me came out of a deeper emotional sincerity. Me sitting on Robbie's finger felt like I was releasing the heaviest weight ever off of my shoulders.
"Ughhhhhhhhhhh, go deeper. Push it all the way!"
"Yeah---talk dirty---tell me how you like it---ugh---I wanna stick my dick far up your cunt right now---geez Damien---geez I love you Damien---take it up your ass like a man---.stop whining---shut up---you can do it---just like I taught you---take it up your tight ass."
"Shit, I can't take it...it feels so good!" I said, my voice slowly getting louder.
In the mix of things I knew that my voice was getting too loud. I also knew that Robbie would have told me to lower my voice but he was having too much trouble controlling his body as he finger fucked my ass and jerked off. Robbie's extreme facial expressions matched my extreme gasps and pants. I just wanted to scream one time as Robbie's finger dug into my ass.
He thrusted faster, Faster, FASTER! He started to talk dirtier and I think a couple of people heard him. If they did only few of them looked our way. I reached down to help his jerk his cock off and found that as soon as I touched his cock, my palms were showered with precum. It was so slippery and wet that I had decided to use it as lubricant to jerk my own dick. The harder he thrust his middle finger into my abyss, the harder I pounded my cock. The harder I pounded my cock the more moans I made. The more moans I made, the more Robbie pounded his cock. It felt like one big orgasm the entire time.
"Robbie, what are you doing?" Byron suddenly asked.
He and his wife were standing over us, watching us clearly as Robbie and I had a face of complete passion glued onto our faces. The way Byron was standing there, he seemed to be causing attention to come onto us even more. He gave Robbie a crooked look, almost a hard look.
Robbie looked around, quickly fixing things. He took his finger out of my ass slowly, probably hoping that Byron wouldn't see, but by now it really didn't matter. I was quite sure Byron knew that Robbie had his finger up his ass. If he didn't know that, he knew for sure that we were jerking off because it was very clear as we started hustling to pull up our pants.
Robbie seemed more calm than I cared to be, "Byron, why would you come over here seeing us in this situation?"
"I came here to stop this madness," Byron said suddenly, "The investors are still in the building! You are the leader of the Syndicate. This is what you do?!"
"You are going to stop drawing attention to this table," Robbie stated, it wasn't that he was warning he was stating.
I saw Byron's eyes burn into me. This guy hated me completely now. I had never seen someone hate me that badly. I looked off. It was hard to look at him. I mean, hate was such a strong thing and in its purest form it could be embarrassing. Besides that, everyone was turning around and it seemed like they were suspecting why Byron was raising his voice so much.
"He is going to tear us apart Robbie. Everything that we worked for during these past years went down the drain in one summer. The investors don't trust your judgement anymore. I don't trust your judgement anymore. Damien has your mind fucked up!"
"You must have me confused," Robbie said, looking so relaxed, "See 'I' am the leader of the Syndicate, not you Byron. That's always been your problem. You had me confused. You think that just because you are my best friend, we both lead the Syndicate. I am head honcho. You are just what I decide you are."
Even though Byron was probably drawing everyone out of the restaurant to stare at us and see what was going on, Robbie still seemed so cool. He even had a smirk cut up across his eyes. Byron on the other hand looked like he was having a panic attack.
"He is a hex!" Byron shouted pointing at me like I was a goddam murderer, "If he hadn't fallen off that bridge that night, you wouldn't be the Syndicate leader. You would have your head too far up his ass. Now that he is back, your head is back up his ass and so is your finger!"
"Byron you're fired."
There was a big gasp in the room. Byron looked at him then looked at me.
"What?"
"You heard me. You are done."
"This is fucking stupid! You are taking his side!" Byron demanded, as though I actually had a side to choose, "You are gonna fail! I hope you fail, chasing behind Damien all the dame time like before. All you do is chase after Damien and end up in shit! JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS!"
He tantrum he threw was going on until Byron was starting to throw shit and act like a 2 year old. I could feel his pain in a way. I knew that him and Robbie were really close. Byron was the type of guy that could really dig underneath your skin too. He really got to me, but I guess it proved to me that Robbie really was serious about me by standing up for my morals so much. Robbie had gotten him kicked out of the building soon enough by large angry security guards. They were the same security guards that Byron once used to boss around.
Either way, now that Byron was gone I guessed that I could sleep a little better at night. The hate he felt for me was crazy to the point that I really didn't trust him. I was nervous, it being Friday night and knowing that I had mailed out my design for the invitations so long ago. Now I was going to the big wedding that everyone around town had been talking about. Truth was I had actually forgotten who had gotten married, but it didn't matter. It was the big wedding so I had to see if a lot of people received my invitation and showed up. Robbie said that it was all that I had to worry about and that I should just let the Byron thing slide down my back. He said he had been meaning to do it for a long time now.
It seemed like for Robbie loving me so much, about everyone else who worked with him was beginning to hate me. It wasn't just Byron but it seemed like Byron was just the only one comfortable with Robbie enough to speak out. I guess I was making them uncomfortable by just being there.
The hate that I could feel around me was pure, focused hate. I wondered if the old Damien was as hated as the new Damien was. When was it that I became the Syndicate's most hated?
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ADRIAN
It was Saturday night by the time I knew it. I couldn't sleep for nights. All day I found myself thinking about what was going to happen on Saturday. Elle had been calling my phone for awhile, trying to explain herself with the whole Eric matter. She wasn't apologizing, but just trying to explain herself. To tell the truth even if she was trying to apologize, I still wouldn't have picked up the phone. Jay didn't want to have anything to do with her either. He totally ignored her and the threats that she was giving him to go public about the pregnancy to all his fans. Jay had decided that he would accompany me for moral support to the club that night. All over the town, all you heard was about this wedding. The thing was we didn't even have any invitations. Jay said he had it all handled, but the fact was that I actually didn't want to get into the club for that wedding.
Ice was driving Jay and I that night to Eric's house. It would be the first reunion between us for a while now. Our careers had once again been postponed since Eric had completely been ignoring everyone's calls, since he found out we were lying to him about Damien being alive. He turned against everyone. He started acting grimy towards Jay, Nina, Hype and even Ice (who didn't even know who Damien was). Hype was getting real nervous about it while Nina was quite sure that Eric would come along once he met Damien and talked out his relationship with his ex-lover.
Eric was waiting outside but as we approached, I realized that he wasn't alone. Derek was with him standing by the side of the road. Eric seemed to shine when he stood beside Derek that it was unbelievable. I knew Eric was older, but he definitely looked like the younger and more vibrant of them. Derek had elderly eyes that seemed to be always filled with bags like he lacked sleep or something.
"Hey," I said to Eric as soon as the town car came to a stop.
"Are we going to see Damien now?" he asked, almost in a sort of trance.
I realized how Eric sparkled today. He looked handsome. His skin, his hair and his outfit were perfect. His yellow skin didn't have a single blemish and his pink lips didn't have any cracks. I saw his eyes though, they had an essence of anger in them. It continued since the day that I had last talked to him. He was still mad.
"Yeah we are," I said, opening the door so that he would climb in.
Eric didn't say anything about Derek. I guess he didn't have to. When Derek came in the car he introduced himself mostly to Ice and Jay since we had met. Derek was very talkative and opinionative. He seemed to start conversations and then hold control over them the whole time until there was some kind of point that came out of it. I found him and Jay arguing over their beliefs several times, since they both had real strong suits of personality.
I didn't care much about Derek's issues though, even though I jumped in and out of the conversation. Derek didn't look half as sexy as Eric did. Eric was a lot cuter than his brother, but there was something else about him that just seemed to turn me on. I think it was because I had truly fallen in love with him. Derek referred to Eric a lot, as though he wasn't even there. Eric just remained quiet through it all though. I realized that he was closing himself off again, exactly the same way that he had done in the beginning. He had retreated to his dream world again. I just mostly tried to look at Eric and several times I caught him staring back. His eyes were full of sadness and distress but they were so compressed. The tension he had was so much that I expected him to start shooting smoke from his nose at any moment. I knew he was still hurting inside. I just wanted to take him and hold him tight, until we were like we used to be.
"Eric, you look nice today," I said, almost like trying to make it like 'a matter of fact' statement.
Eric let out a little grunt, hardly recognizing me.
That only caused Derek to look up, "You know Eric is acting really shy and detached now, but back at home after you visited him he seemed real excited. He did something real strange. He was writing your name and Damien's name over and over, like he was trying to figure something out..."
"Could you shut up!" Eric snapped at him, "Why did you even come?"
Derek went on to say little things like that. Eric looked real embarrassed and when he did try to stop his younger brother from telling his business, he screamed hard at him. Derek (I figured) wasn't the smartest guy in the world, since he had no idea I had a thing for Eric. Hearing him tell me that Eric was writing my name, sent a spark up in me. If he was smart he would have realized the smile that spread across my face and the blush across my cheek.
After a long, eventful ride we finally ended up at the Syndicate. I had never seen a club used for a wedding chapel, but then again the Syndicate seemed to be used for everything. The club now looked like it was a movie premiere or something. Everywhere there were people dressed to their best. There were cameras everywhere as well. I think the news reporters were there. They were filming this for MTV. There were even protestors further down the road, who seemed to be against the wedding for some reason.
Jay was excited above all. He had told Ice to drive to the corner so that we could walk up the block, since the front entrance was crowded with all the limousines or what not for the people who were getting married.
Jay's "hook-up" was late. I remembered him but for a moment I had forgotten where. Then I remembered. He was the guy who was always with Robbie. I remembered him as Robbie's friend, but for some reason he was helping us. I didn't get it, but I really didn't ask. We were in a rush. He finally did show up though, a little after the wedding had already started with the turtledove pins that we needed to get in there.
Ice went inside with us, just in case any fight should break up like it did last time. I didn't think one would but no one could tell especially with the kind of temper that Eric was known to have. We walked inside the club, taking after about 100 snaps of light came on from the cameras. I was nervous, probably too nervous. People would wonder what the Pop band Vida was doing reunited and going to a wedding like this. I knew that my publicist would probably be killing me if he knew that we were making such a public scene without consulting him first.
"If you want to talk to Damien," I had overheard Jay telling Eric, "You gotta wait until he is alone. I don't think Robbie is going to get real crazy if he sees you, especially if it is in such a public place. Just make it quick and make sure that a lot of people are around."
When we finally got in the hall the wedding was already on. We had to sit all the way in the back. I sat next to Eric, even though he slid down a couple of times trying to get away from me, I still managed to sit next to him. I looked around to see the podium that the bride and groom stood on. They were both young. I think I saw the guy on tv before or something. He was cute, but his wife weighed about 70 pounds or something. She was very, very skinny. I was too nervous to think. I looked at Eric and where his eyes were directed. He was looking across the hall. He had located Damien. I quickly pushed at Jay's arm to show him where Damien was sitting.
"He's with Antonio," Jay had noticed, saying loud enough for Eric to hear.
It wasn't much of a surprise. Antonio seemed to be treating Damien like a nanny or something. He sat real close to Damien like he was some kind of bodyguard like Ice was, but then he had that old friendliness with Damien which gave off this whole fatherly type relationship. Seeing Antonio's face, I was reminded about the anger I had all the time. He was sitting near the front of the fancy isles. Damien had on a white tuxedo with a silver and black tie. He definitely stuck out from Antonio and the others around him who all wore black. Robbie was sitting in the row in the row in front of Damien which was the very first row where usually the close family sat.
I pulled at Eric, "I don't want you to go talk to him. You are only going to get your feelings hurt."
I couldn't believe what I had said until after I said it. Then after I said it, I realized that I was being truthful. I realized that I really didn't want him to go.
"I already had my feelings hurt, but by you," he said softly, still looking across the hall at Damien.
"I care about you," I told him, "Look at Damien. Look at how he's dressed. Look at how happy he looks. You think he would really give a guy like you a chance?"
"What do you mean by a guy like me?"
It sounded like I had offended him a little. He looked at me his face squared. I guess he didn't want to believe what I was telling him, but I knew it was truth. Damien was sitting across the hall. He was dressed in the best, sitting in the front of a wedding of two people he had probably never even met. I was sure Damien had even arrived in a better limo than the bride and groom.
"I mean," I said getting a little stuck, "What is it you are looking for? He isn't the same guy as before. He is totally different. You remember from the house how he acted."
"You were the one who wanted me to come see him."
"But...but I love you. Damien doesn't," I told him as clearly as possible.
"FUCK THAT!" Eric had called out so suddenly.
I guess the truth that Damien didn't love him was too much for him to handle. Now, I felt a little pissed off that I had said anything. Jay was sitting next to me and seemed to be a little amused by the whole thing. Everyone had turned around and stared at Eric and I. I had even seen Damien turn around, but luckily it seemed Robbie hadn't noticed. Antonio on the other hand, even had to tap Damien so that he would turn his attention back to the ceremony.
Finally when everyone turned back away, Jay sneered, "You guys are going to get us shot by the Syndicate if Robbie finds out."
I couldn't believe he found this funny. I looked at Eric.
"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, "I just want you to be happy. Everything I did from the very start, I did to make you happy. I'm begging you to forgive me."
He looked at me for a long time. I knew he was trying to think on whether or not he could trust me. I had truthfully only wanted to make him happy. We stared at each other for a long time. I wanted to reach out a kiss him, but his brother was sitting right down the aisle and didn't know that Eric was still gay. I found myself crying. A tear was dripping down my eye. I hated that I could easily get so emotional while looking in his eyes. I mean I felt at that moment that I had really fucked up by not telling him. I think he could see the regret in me. He took his finger and gently wiped the tear away from my face, in the sweetest gesture that he had given to me for so long.
"If you wanted to make me happy, all you had to do is tell me the truth," he said calmly, "I am just confused as you are. I have feelings for Damien, but I also have feelings for you. Truthfully I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about him, but when I woke up the first person I thought about was you. Its so hard for me."
"All I need is a second chance."
He smiled at me. It was a warm smile that sent shivers up my spine. I felt his creamy-looking mulatto hand climb over mine. Holding hands between isles had turned me to only want to cry more. The softness of his hands was so deep and penetrating. The church was kinda cold and his hand over mine felt so warm. I felt comforted and secure with him in a way that I could never feel. I had become so dependent on so many people like Jay, Hype, Elle, Ice and Nina. I didn't need any of them if I had Eric, but really how long could a dude like Eric be here?
"Look, look, look," Jay rushed in breaking the feeling of comfort and ease that I was feeling at the moment.
The wedding had ended and everyone was getting up. People were throwing rice or what not as the bride and groom made their way down the isle and outside. Damien had broke away from the others for the moment, walking toward the flowers display while everyone else was chasing behind the bride and her groom.
Suddenly I felt Eric's hand break away from mine.
"I'll be right back," he said and started to walk towards Damien.
All of a sudden I was alone again. Eric's hands that were so soft against mine were now being used to separate the crowd of people so that he could get to Damien. My heart sunk in a way that was utter anger and disappointment. I wanted to cry. I heard the bells that were ringing and the rush of people all around me. I just continued to sit. I was alone, left alone because of Damien once again. I hated Damien, no doubt, but it was my love for Eric that really stirred such emotion. I had more emotion that I had ever felt before. I had so much emotion that I really couldn't even cry. I just sat there, my body completely frozen.
Had Romeo felt such a sadness when he was separated from Juliet? Or maybe straight people couldn't feel as much distress as a gay mind could. I was never emotional until it came to Eric. I had chased him for so long and now he was chasing after some other guy. I had been stabbed in the heart with a very sharp dagger. It pierced through me.
Such beautiful pictures of serenity, finally erased by the evil heart of an innocent and yet guilty Damien.
It would have been better if Eric and I had never met or never locked eyes. I would want to forget about him, but it was impossible because I thought about him all the time. I could never calculate how much a missed him, because I never had him. He never was mine...