Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and problems from the POV of a young man. If you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then refrain from reading it.
This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me
Feel free to send email or comments about the story to
sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com or sammie_g86@yahoo.com
-Sorry about the wrong email that I had up before.
Edited
POV will switch between two main characters, Damien and Adrian.
LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life
JUSTIFY MY LOVE
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DAMIEN
I must have been dreaming, because I remember waking up to a feeling of euphoria. My eyes opened, my eyelashes unfolding until I saw Robbie. His face was only about 10 inches away from mine. His pupils were dilated and seemed to be engulfing my own. I had no idea what time it was. With Robbie, I never knew what time it was.
I figured that it was sometime in the evening when I woke up to him staring down on me. I was sleeping on his bed, barely dressed in just boxers and a wife-beater. The room was tinted a little, almost showing off a sort of red light. It seemed like I was in a different world.
"Hey," he whispered to me, getting my attention but with a voice so soft that I felt like I was still in that point between thinking this was just a dream.
I realized that he was leaning over the side of the bed, his face nearly implanted into mine as he stared deep in my eyes. I found it hard to return his stare, even though there was hardly room for my eyes to look elsewhere. His stare was also really intimidating. It was hard to look back.
"Hey," I told him back and sniffed in the air, "What smells so good?"
He moved his head to the side a little bit, giving me a view of exactly how he had turned the bedroom into Cloud 9. Cloud 9 was this fantasy place, well it was supposed to fantasy. I was there now, floating like you did on a summer day with nothing to do but that feeling of relaxation. There were scent candles and little sentimental things everywhere. The curtains were aligned with red satin and rose petals were dressed all over the bed.
He spoiled me. Last night I tried to talk to him about me being a man for myself soon. I said that I wanted to start looking for a place to move and getting a job. He had just tripped, started looking a little offended by the remark so I just dropped it. I knew I was going to have to bring it up again. I was definitely getting too comfortable with this.
"I figured the room was looking too boring for a guy like you," he told me, his voice low and enchanting, "I wanted the best."
He looked deep in my eyes for the moment, bringing his face closer to me again. He slowly brought his hand up to touch my face, playfully it seemed. His lips parted and his eyebrows raised as though I was the most interesting thing ever.
"Do you always do all this for your guests?"
I saw him give me a little smirk, the same kind of self-confident, purposely sexy half smile that he always gave me. He pulled back slightly and bit the corner of his lip. His hands were still touching my face, but this time it wasn't playful. It looked like he had every intention of getting closer to me...this time erotically. He was caressing my face now. His hands making soft circles around my chin and the little facial hair that I had forgotten to shave off.
"Here taste this," Robbie said dipping his hands in something that I was too lazy to lean up and see. He secretly put the finger back towards me, towards my lips.
I parted my lips and Robbie inserted his sweet long, enticing finger between them. What was this boy doing to me? I felt the lust and excitement running throughout my body as his finger and my tongue got acquainted. I couldn't help but feel turned on by his flirting. My lips encircled his finger sucking them like a baby milking a mother's breast.
He came closer that moment almost like he was going to kiss me but instead just whispered softly in my ear, "Its done..."
Oh shit! I hadn't even noticed that I was here sucking on a dry finger. I tried not to look pale or anything out of embarrassment. Just as his finger left my hand I felt the soft cream against my tongue. It was sweet, very sweet like a sort of pie filling or something. It tasted heavenly and yet my face numbed with having been caught giving into his little tease for so long.
"Sorry," I told him, fighting off the urge to lick my lips and jump back into sucking the shit out of his finger.
He gave a little laugh and then picked up the dish the pie was in, putting it on my chest, "Here eat. I figured you must be hungry. My chef is cooking downstairs if you want anymore."
"Ok thanks."
Robbie definitely knew how to keep me hooked. Now, even when he was playing a little hard to get, I could see the passion in his eyes. Then he flashed me that autoerotic smile, this time there was a glitter in his eye that flashed just similar to the diamond in his ear.
He watched me eating and it was really strange. I mean I didn't want to look too smutty or available by sexing up the way I was eating the pie, but I didn't just want to eat the pie plain while he was watching me so intensely. He watched me, slowly smiling at times and softly touching me at other times. Why didn't he just jump on me like he did the other day at the bar? The tease was killing me by now.
"So I hear that you've been a bad boy," I told him, suddenly done eating the pie.
He gave me a look, not finding this as amusing as I figured he would find it. His look was almost full of surprise and uncertainty, definitely a little glimpse of a side of Robbie that I hadn't seen since leaving Elizabeth's little cottage.
"What? Did Antonio tell you that?" he asked, looking a little unnerved with his eyes suspiciously staring down on me.
"Yeah..."
He looked so pissed as he grunted something underneath his breath, sort of like a kind of grumbling. He looked irritated. Crap, I didn't want to get Antonio into any kind of trouble at all. I definitely think that I probably just did that. Robbie definitely didn't seem like the type to have a sense of humor. I saw him rubbing his shoulder and letting out a little sigh.
Suddenly I jumped up figuring I would get his mind off of what I just said, "I was just joking. Besides I like bad boys. You seem a little stressed though..."
I leaned over towards him across the bed and began to rub his shoulders where he was kneeling over from the floor. Immediately Robbie licked his lips, by the first touch. He let out a little groaning sound that really turned me on as I began to give his shoulders a little rub down. Then suddenly I felt him grab the hand I massaged him with. He touched it shortly and then looked in my eyes.
I saw him climbing up to me and didn't say anything, I wanted it. The lust and allure I had towards him was unmistakable. The mood was perfect. The lights dimmed down and the natural scent filling the room. I was so horny. I wanted him to touch me in every way possible.
He climbed onto me as I leaned back onto the bed, letting my head fall into the pillow. He separated my thighs and began to slowly scale my body until his head hung right over mine. His crotch was pressed up against the front of my boxer shorts and he had my legs wrapped around the back of his thighs before I even knew what I was doing. My body was talking for itself now and that was clear. As I allowed him to pin me down onto the bed, his body thoroughly resting on top of me, I knew that I wanted to surrender myself to him. My body called for him.
His head hung only inches away from mine and I waited anxiously wanting to reach up and kiss him. He just hung there looking in my eyes, setting off a wave of extreme physical stress in my body. Kiss me...kiss me. I pulled my head up a little to his, but he was too quick and his head jolted back rejecting my kiss. Then suddenly as I rested my head back on the pillow I saw him flash me his signature smile and dig into giving my lips a short gentle lick.
"You taste nice," he complimented softly, his breath surrounding my face in a strange call of passion and danger.
"Kiss me," I demanded.
He gave a little laugh and then pressed his face towards me. He kissed me deeply, his tongue rushing towards the back of my throat at first and then pulling back to the tip my tongue. Then he did something with his tongue that I didn't even know was possible. He completely wrapped his tongue around mine like a bow and gave a little tug on it. The routine was enough to send me exploding into sexual bliss and enough to make me desperately trying to keep him from breaking the kiss.
"Holy shit!" I called out as he suddenly broke the kiss, "How the hell did you do that?"
He laughed a little, "You liked it?"
"Hell yeah!" I tried not to seem so desperate but I couldn't help it. He was sending me on the verge of ecstacy through his kisses.
He began to kiss me more, showing me more tricks that his tongue could do while he arched his back and began to grind on me. It felt almost like a dry fuck, his clothes grating onto mine hard enough for me to feel his dick poking into my own pubic region. I was hot and horny by this time, his kisses drawing me more pleasure than I thought was really possible from a simple kiss.
He began to kiss lower, sucking onto my neck area with his mouth creating a tough suction onto my skin. I moaned loudly as he continued to, feeling like I was about to cum from the feeling as he made out with my neck. I started to touch his lower thighs, so that I could feel how his hips were gyrating.
"You like my ass?" he asked, suddenly, strangely.
"Yeah," I moaned back, "I mean its perfect."
"I want you to touch it."
I didn't have to hear him say it twice. I moved my palms up to cup his ass. I could definitely control the way he grinded his body into mine from his ass. I couldn't help but to dig into his pants and then down his boxers. I began to touch his bare ass, cupping it like the girls did in pornos when being fucked. His asscheeks squeezed through my fingers, making me moan just from the thought of having those fine cheeks being bare against my hands.
"You are making me crazy," I managed to call out, feeling my voice breaking up with the sensations of having my neck being slightly bitten, "I feel like I'm about to cum from this!"
He moaned, "Good."
I could feel his left hands going on mine as he guided me to grip his ass even firmer. He was definitely in control here. He was definitely in control all the time.
Suddenly I felt his pants beginning to vibrate. I thought at first it was just a skill that Robbie had, probably even knowing how to make his dick vibrate as they pressed against my thighs. Then I realized that it was his cellphone. I saw him bringing his face up from my neck and digging deep between where our bodies were firmly connecting to one another.
It even felt so good as he brushed against my stomach, then against my dick to get to his cell phone. Shit, I tried hard to not moan, but even as he answered his cellphone, he was still dry humping my body with his gyrating hips and I was definitely still palming onto his ass.
"What is it Byron?" he answered the phone, looking just as annoyed as I was from being disturbed.
There was a little echo of all the stuff Byron was saying. Byron definitely seemed to be in a rush or something. Robbie was talking so close to me that most of the time he wasn't talking, he was letting his tongue flicker against mine as we stuck them out of our mouths.
Suddenly he hung up the phone and I saw him lifting off of me.
"Wait what happened?" I called back to him. Definitely feeling too hot to move.
"I'm so sorry," he told me and looked up at the time. It was going on 10:00 pm, "I forgot I have to go to a dinner with my associates."
Fuck, I thought. Looking down at me and then looking at Robbie was now fixing his shirt and adjusting his pants, I saw that we both had very hard and erected dicks. I wanted to just rip off my pants and beg him to finish what he started, but I couldn't. His job seemed so important to him. At least his job was what kept me living in this palace this whole time.
"When are you going to be back?"
His mouth twisted a little then he said, "Well I was hoping that you would come along..."
That was how he asked and I don't remember how it was that I agreed so quickly. I really had all intention of just going there and eating while enjoying Robbie's time. I had completely almost forgotten about the fact that he was talking about all his associates being there. Robbie had dressed me up exactly like him and all his other guys dressed. I had the black tux on with shiny black shoes and a little suede trench coat that went over it all.
I mean it was a hot day and even though I really didn't feel like it, I somehow allowed Robbie's eyes to enchant me into wearing something that immediately turned me into King Pin. The suit had gassed up my head to the point that I had a swagger that said, "I just made out with the guy that is worth double what I am worth."
Before I knew it, I was following Robbie, Robbie's friend Byron and some other faceless tycoons of the underworld. We were shuffled off into the car and driven downtown where it seemed like innocence had crawled between one of their dark alleys, curled up and died.
I looked sort of embarrassed at first because Robbie had left me with two deep hickies that were showing like black and blue on my neck. I tried to hide it, but Robbie found it a little funny and seemed to have this whole short, confusing conversation of how I should be flaunting them, because they came from a guy like him. He didn't say it in those exact words, but it was basically what he was trying to say.
Immediately, I had felt like I was being watched and I knew that it was because strange eyes were everywhere. I had never been to a place that I felt so unsafe and so unsure of what could happen. There was just a presence in the air that could scare Hercules into a coma. The voices always whispering even among themselves and always staring with an evil intent. I looked at Robbie, he seemed so pompous like he was immortal or something. I realized later on, while I had taken my seat at a round table of dangerous barons and rich debutantes, that Robbie owned this goddam restaurant.
Strangely, even though Robbie had carried me almost like his wallet when we were walking through the door, I realized him slowly moving away from me as we took our seats. I must of been paranoid to notice little things about him. He probably didn't even know that he had sat on the other side of the table, almost opposite from me, leaving me surrounded by old Russian men who owned their own hotels and wanted me desperately to come visit them. Then I realized the Russian woman. She was old. She was like in her late 50s. I forgot what her name was, but she had shook my hand and acknowledged me as Robbie's young love (I don't know where she got that idea). At first she looked like a real uptight, proper woman. She seemed very respectable.
Anyway the Russian got loose after a drink or two and I saw her hanging all over Robbie. What I felt wasn't a feeling of betrayal or jealousy, but really just extreme confusion. Robbie didn't push her off. He welcomed her. Before long he was openly kissing her in the mouth...with me sitting right at the table! I was so confused, really wondering where Robbie and I stood.
"Hey, don't worry about it," I heard a voice say, whispering in my ear.
It was Robbie's friend Byron. He had a very calm voice, almost as calm and collective as Robbie, but he definitely didn't seem to be trying to attract me with his suave. It seemed natural.
"About what?"
I turned my head. I was being too loud, Robbie had turned his head a little like everyone else at the table probably because that was the first time I had spoken the entire night. I definitely wasn't worrying about it. Robbie definitely was enjoying himself with the lady though. I tried not to look like I was watching, but caught glimpses of them playing more frisky as the night continued. He had his left hand cupping her breasts and I really didn't care to know where the other hand was.
We were there for what seemed like hours. I ate, then got hungry again from feeling extreme pressure and anxiety. I had that feeling of nervousness in my stomach. I guess I had the butterflies.
That was when a guy named Walton or something like that came to the table. He was Byron's assistant (since Byron was some big treasurer or whatever). Well Byron had this big presentation and it seemed ironic that he wait until everyone had gotten preoccupied (and it seems in Robbie's case horny) before he brought it up.
"Greg Hodge has supported the Syndicate since day 1," said this nerdy, extremely talkative Walton man, "His daughter Penelope has engaged to get married. I thought that we should take it upon ourselves to throw Penelope an engagement ball. She was New York's top bachelorette before she got married and I think this can only help to draw a good crowd to start advertising the clubs."
"So what?" Robbie asked looking a little nonchalant and rather busy with his Russian princess.
Walton braced himself before talking, "Currently the wedding is supposed to take place next week. That means if we are going to have a engagement party, it needs to be now or never."
Robbie rolled his eyes, "So have it. Why bother us with this? Who let you in here?"
A couple of people laughed at the comment. I was pretty sure that Robbie knew who this guy was and why he was here, but his superiority complex seemed to be showing again. I felt bad for this Walton guy.
"Sir, Penelope insists everyone who comes to the party wear these," Walton explains, as he pulls out some cheesy golden turtledove pins.
It was almost laughable. The problem was Walton didn't know how to tell men in such high positions to wear these turtle doves on their fancy tuxedos. The turtle doves were really ugly, no doubt, but I didn't see why this was such a big issue. The table found this a little frantic though, some of Robbie's advisors giving little threats to Walton to fix the problem immediately.
From what I heard, this Penelope was stubborn and so was everyone else. Looking around the table, I knew that everyone was spoiled. Some just pointed at the ugly turtle doves like it was the end of the world should they ever get caught wearing them. They were really feminine things though, making it hard to see grown men wearing them even if it was just for a certain occasion. Then little things started coming up where Robbie insisted if Walton couldn't find a way to get people to wear them and Penelope insisted everyone wear them, that the wedding should be cancelled. No wedding, no engagement party. The idea seemed a little critical. It was really sort of funny at the chaos a little thing like that could have on everyone.
"How about..." I said and then paused a little bit, realizing that everyone's eyes were dead on me, "How about you make them mandatory to wear?"
The sudden pause and lone stares had made me look like I was a target for like a drive-by or something. I was so nervous that my eyes were bulging a little and sweat was rolling down my forehead.
Walton (who seemed a little annoyed) turned to me and spat, "We are being serious here."
"Listen to him!" Robbie demanded.
I wasn't sure if I appreciated his screaming at the guy because it just made me feel a little awkward. It was like being in the mind of the Cinderella's stepsisters (if they weren't mean bitches). I didn't feel like I earned this special attention and definitely didn't like how the people responded to Robbie's special treatment towards me.
"Well," I muttered a little, but it was enough to have the whole table and more looking to see what I was saying, "Maybe you can like make them have to wear the pins. You could like mail it as an invitation. They would probably have to show their pins to get in. Like some kind of backstage pass or something. I guess I watch too much tv, but the last thing I think they'll think about are how the pins look if they were rare and valuable. If this is some high profile wedding, everyone is going to want one of them..."
There was a little silence, then suddenly I heard Robbie clapping. Everyone else just looked at me like I had a fork in my head or something (except the Russian girl whose eyes were still on Robbie). I couldn't help but see the weird, angry look Walton had. I thought he would be a little appreciative that I had a good idea while even he had to admit that all of his were half-assed.
"That is the best idea so far," Robbie said, mostly referring to the ideas that Walton had to fix the little hiccup, "Sad I have these so-called professionals working here and none of them can think of something like that."
"Sir, its not that simple as mailing the turtle doves in the mail," Byron argued, probably because he was affiliated with this Walton guy.
It seemed like Robbie was the only one who was even thinking about my idea seriously. They all seemed to just blow it off while Robbie continued to push it. I wish he didn't keep pushing it. He made me feel more like I shouldn't speak so much. I wish I hadn't said anything, because now I was speechless. I wanted to defend my idea more, but I felt so inferior and out of place.
"Yes it is. Its genius," Robbie continued to flatter me making me feel blush extremely, "If they do think it is ugly, they are going to have a very different view when they find out that their competitors don't have one. It can be like an award...a privilege."
After Byron had stepped off probably giving up on how much Robbie was feeling the idea, it was up to Walton to defend his beliefs. I knew he was going to say something and I almost knew for sure that Robbie didn't have the same amount of respect for Walton as he did for Byron. Antonio had told me if Byron couldn't change Robbie's mind, then no one could.
"Sir, I don't advise that we do this."
"You won't be advising anything. Damien is going to be writing the invitation."
"Me?!" I beamed, not knowing whether to kiss Robbie or punch him out of embarrassment. I felt like I was in the spotlight too much for my own good.
"Him!" roared about all the other people at the table, including Walton and Byron, both who didn't seem to be really feeling me at the moment.
"Sir, he's a little ass kid," Walton voice paralyzed me, "He can't even remember his last name and you are going to make him write out the invitations for the men who own the city!"
My heart sunk. I looked around, wondering if everyone felt the same way about me. Everyone was dead quite like there was some kind of movie playing. I had one of those feelings, that you knew the scene was going to replay in your mind about a thousand times that night. I wasn't going to get any sleep over it. I couldn't control myself at first, almost choking from discomfort.
For a moment, I thought nothing was going to happen. I could see a couple of eyes going everywhere people wondering what was going to happen next. I wondered if I should reach over the table and hit Walton or something. I definitely didn't feel like a violent person, no matter how strong I was. I felt more depressed then angry anyway. He was right. I didn't remember everything and was extremely under-qualified to be involved in a wedding that I had just now found out about.
My normality was clear.
"You'd better get the hell out of here," I heard Byron say.
He was right. I didn't belong there. I had tried to fit in and now been called out just because I had an idea. I felt like I wanted to cry, but again I knew that I would never be brought to tears. Still there was that burning feeling in my eyes. I had leaned over to get up when I realized that Byron hadn't been talking to me.
He was talking to Walton. I realized now that everyone wasn't really looking at me and the silence was for Walton. Robbie's eyes were the ones that had the most meaning. He was shaking a little from anger. It scared me a little to see someone looking so pissed off. I had never seen someone looking as dangerous as Robbie was. It was like beauty turning into the beast.
"No! Hold him!" Robbie demanded.
I saw Walton struggling to get to his knees all of a sudden in a panic. He knocked a few glasses over causing Robbie's Russian whore (yes, I had reduced her status to a whore now) to call out in a short scream. The entire restaurant was quiet now, wanting to know what was going on. Before I knew it two men, both who were in Robbie's entourage but had been very nonchalant and quiet the whole time had jumped up and grabbed Walton. They wrestled Walton down until his knees were on the floor and his head was pressed against the table.
"Robbie, calm down," I heard Byron's voice giving a little trail, but it seemed to no avail.
"Fuck that!" He said, seeming to surprise Byron. He grabbed the top of Walton's hair, "What did you just say to him?"
"Sir...I...I..." the man struggled.
All of a sudden there was a scream. There was a lot of panic, but no motion. It seemed like everyone was so afraid to move. I leaned against the back of my seat now scared to death as I saw Robbie holding a gun to the guy's head.
"What did you just say?" Robbie urged on, turning the safety off the gun.
"Its not necessary," Byron tried to calm him down and looked at me suddenly calling out, "Tell him its not necessary."
I couldn't say anything. I was just shocked. Byron had no right to ask me that, I thought. I began to stutter the words, but in the end I was too afraid to even say anything at all now. I was sure, even though I had no memory of the past, I hadn't really recognized guns. My body's reaction to the gun was shut up and stay quiet before someone got crazy and turned the gun to you.
"I...I.." Walton began to stutter some more, probably overcome with the nervousness of having a gun to his head.
Robbie smashed the side of the gun into his head so hard that I thought the gun was going to go off. I breathed deep and looked at Byron. He was still trying to calm Robbie down, but definitely even he seemed to see that Robbie was looking very pissed off. Then he started to look towards me. Didn't he get it? I wasn't even relatively close to Robbie. I had just met him for this weekend...that was it! I didn't know what this guy was capable of doing.
"You will never speak out of your ass like that again!" Robbie demanded the boy and then held the pistol to his temple, "Tell Damien that!"
"Its not necessary," I finally found myself spitting out a while after Byron asked me to. I felt so many emotions that were rooted from fear.
"No, he's gonna say it or I'm gonna bury two bullets through that disrespectful head of his."
I didn't want that so I just shut up. Robbie definitely seemed to be a little more calm when he spoke to me then when he was screaming at Byron to get off his back. I didn't know how long his patience with me would last so I just wanted to get out of there and go back to cloud 9. Where was it? I wondered if this gun-totting John Gotti was really the sexy, sometimes over-confident guy who had taken me to Cloud 9 over and over throughout the weekend.
"I...I will never speak out of my ass like that---again!" he cried out as Robbie buried the pistol into his forehead, digging it, probably to scratch onto his skin.
"Kiss his feet."
There was a long like sort of complaining from random voices.
"Kiss them!" Robbie shouted.
The man had crawled to my shoes and started kissing them. He didn't only kiss the shoes, but he started to give them a spit shine, licking them and all then rubbing his shirt on it to move the spit off. I was completely frozen in shock. I watched Robbie's Russian old chick start giggling and some other people start laughing. Some like Byron stood in complete anger and disapproval. Others like me were just sitting there, shocked and observant thinking of the best way to soak it in.
Robbie let a little wave and his cronies stopped pinning Walton down. Walton looked around the room, seeming a little pale like he was sick. He looked at Robbie then looked at me. His face wasn't the same face that had come in. His manhood had seemed to have been snatched away from him by Robbie. He might of well had been raped. It seemed like he was a complete and utter punk now. Robbie owned his life like a boatman owned an oar. I couldn't even wonder how he felt as he ran out of the room. How would he be able to face the people who saw him so afraid at any other time?
Suddenly Robbie had gotten up and waved his gun around a little. He was scaring everyone, but I realized what he was trying to do. His presence was definitely something like demi-god by now. That this guy was untouchable.
"You see that boy," he told told, pointing his finger towards me, putting me on EXTREME spotlight, "That is the face of a boy who will own the city. None of you are even on his level. The next motherfucker to doubt his talent had better make sure that I don't find out about it!"
I wasn't appreciative of this gesture at all. I wasn't appreciating of anything that he had done that night since we had gotten to the restaurtant. I was just afraid, overly and frightfully distant from the whole room. Did he seriously just threaten someone's life in front of an entire restaurant? Why didn't they call the cops? He probably owned the cops too. I wouldn't doubt it too much. It was the first night that I was really afraid of Robbie to the point that I just wanted to get up and run away. I was too afraid to even do that now...but if I could...just in that moment...I probably would have run far away.
The discomfort had set in with probably everyone and I think that was Robbie's intention, although he did look just a tad tipsy as he put his gun away and sat back at the table.
"Are we done here?" Byron asked, probably overcome with the discomfort, "I'm ready to head back now."
"Yeah, make sure that Damien gets back safe. He doesn't look too well."
I definitely didn't give a dame how I looked. Some guy had just licked my shoe just because he insulted me a little. I felt a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Byron gave him a long look, "What? You aren't coming?"
I looked at his little Russian, ancient luster. She seemed to only be turned on more by Robbie's show of power and dominance. My stomach only began to turn. I felt like I wanted to throw up. I couldn't even look at Robbie.
"No," Robbie said, "But make sure he is fine."
I knew that Robbie was staying to fuck that old lady. I didn't care much anymore though. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. There was definitely a lot of talk when we were riding back to the hotel, leaving Robbie alone at the table with that lady. My head was dazed at the moment, blocking out the entire conversation that was going on. I really didn't care what they were talking about. I felt like I was about to vomit all over the car in any moment. I tried to hold it though, getting my way to the building and all before I started to really panic.
~
Antonio watched from the hall as I began to vomit in the toilet. I had told him about the whole night, my feelings and everything. It felt really strange, because I didn't trust this guy at all. He was just like everyone, but instead he just had a different job. A job as my assistant. His face was the same silky and fine shaped. He was the same breed as Robbie. Probably would have been exactly like Robbie if given the right face and the right body.
He seemed like the big gossiper and was very excited to hear how my night had went. I didn't trust it. There was also that strange outlook he had towards Robbie. He completely surrendered to Robbie. I figured he might as well be calling Robbie his master or something. I guess that was why Antonio was so protective of me, because he was taking out his affection for Robbie towards me. Either way, he seemed very, very talented with his listening skills. I wanted to talk to him. I guess it was because he was the only one there to talk to.
I just remembered telling him everything, telling him all that had went on in the night. I had put in the dynamics and all. I still couldn't believe what had happened. I felt a little fever coming on as I explained how Robbie had been acting the whole night with the old Russian lady. Then I explained Walton and his problem. Then I explained how he had went from complaining about a little pin issue to licking my shoe in front of the whole restaurant.
"Did you say she was Russian?" Antonio asked, "Was she like a mega hag?"
What was he talking about?! All the stuff that I had told him about, he was worried about the old lady that Robbie was probably out fucking. Didn't he hear the word 'gun'? Didn't he hear the word 'threaten'? What if that guy had decided to sue Robbie?
"What, why? Robbie had a gun in a restaurant..."
"This is the underworld," Antonio simplified my worries, "Everyone has guns. What do you expect them to have?"
"I didn't expect anything," I explained, my mouth dropping lowly, "But I'm not just gonna sit around and act like an idiot to get caught up in this shit. No one is god, no matter how big they become. Robbie keeps acting like this and he is gonna go down. I don't wanna go down too..."
"Go down?" Antonio began to laugh and then suddenly I saw his eyes go into focus, "I think I know who your girl is though...the Russian."
"I don't care who she is!"
"Yeah, well I'll tell you anyway. Mrs. Putnam. She is a senator."
Well that was fucking interesting. She definitely seemed like a senator type when I first met her. Anyway now, I didn't care. I really was surpassed with apprehension about what had happened that night. I didn't want to know this side of Robbie. I wish I had just stayed home earlier...continued to float on Cloud 9.
"Antonio...I don't even know why I'm bothering."
Antonio gave a little laugh, "Did you really think you would just come here and get everything at no price? You aren't worried about the woman, but worried about the gun. Robbie has to have guns or else he would be shot. He has to threaten or else he would be getting threatened. Robbie is a taker. That is what I love most about him. He doesn't ask questions...he just takes. Then he gives...gives to you, to be exact."
"I didn't ask for them."
"But he gave them. He likes you because you are so compelled in a dream world. I could tell from the first day I looked in your eyes. Its like you are here, but your soul is flying somewhere else. There's always that mystery that no matter how much someone knows about you, they can never truly know everything. It's a challenge with you. That is probably why you always oversleep. We are all dreamers in one way or another. Robbie doesn't dream as often as we do and definitely not as near as you do. He isn't a dreamer, he is a creation that the Knight Dynasty developed to make up for the short comings of their gay leader. I guess he likes you so much because he lives his dreams through you. He has no dreams so he is trying to make yours come true. You told him that you wanted to be independent. I guess he's just trying to help you out at that---"
It was almost like he was talking to himself now, "---Robbie isn't a dreamer. He is a dream. You are the dreamer. He is only trying to make your dreams come true."