La Dulce Vida

Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the life and problems from the POV of a young man. If you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then refrain from reading it.

This story is a continuation of Rain_On_Me

Feel free to send email or comments about the story to

sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com or sammie_g86@yahoo.com

-Sorry about the wrong email that I had up before.

Edited

POV will switch between two main characters, Damien and Adrian.

LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life

FADED MEMORIES

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DAMIEN

Damien...that was what he called me when I asked him who I was.

It's a story, you see, memories have been faded. My memories, I mean they are there, but they have been forgotten. I had spent so long trying to remember, that my mind hurt from thinking. Voices in my head no longer came with a name or a tone. Words no longer had a definition.

Faded memories lingered deep in me. Everyday I lived there was another feeling or emotion from the past. Every other day there was another short image from the past, but I couldn't cling to them long enough to make them out. They were so unclear to me that I began to fear them. Faded memories didn't only linger inside of me, but destroyed me. 'THEY' tried to keep me in that little white room, telling me that I would learn to be like everyone else in time. So many had called me crazy and yet all I knew was that maybe I wasn't crazy. Maybe in another world, maybe in a dream world everyone else was crazy, but me.

I was known as John. This whole time, they called me John. John as in John Doe. I hadn't gone by John, but only recognized that this was what I was called. I never complained, but finally I had to run away. I had to escape being called John. You see 'THEY' don't know that there is one person I remembered. You also see, 'THEY' are everywhere. I had noticed the signs of that 'THEY' had posted all around, all around the city and town. It showed that 'THEY' were indeed everywhere and 'THEY' wanted me back because I was so special. 'THEY' were by now aware that I was missing and that I had run away.

But 'THEY' would be too late even if 'THEY' came looking for me. I was still only just simple John, a boy who has forgotten everything but had one last memory. It was the memory of Hazel Eyes, who I had finally found. He stood right before me now.

"Do you know me?" I asked, looking at the boy that this whole time I had known only as Hazel Eyes.

Hazel Eyes looked back at me and just stared. His skin was pale, his eyes narrowing onto me. You would have think he had just seen a ghost. The comfort that he had felt just before I had took off my hood was so different from the boy in front of me now. He was a confused boy, now. I looked at him, hoping that I would find something within him that I could use.

Again I tried to talk to him, "Please, answer me. I waited so long to know. As the days go, nothing comes back to me. I can't remember anything. Do I have family, friends? How do you know my name? I have so many questions..."

I had forgotten the way to tears, as I had forgotten my own identity. I looked at him, my face only wet with the rain and my eyelids piercing through him. Why wouldn't he speak? From his face, I could see so many expressions, but in one of them I saw a sadness.

"You are supposed to be dead," he told me.

The way he said it was unnerving. It was almost like he was saying a fact. It was as though there was no happiness in his voice of seeing me. He was only dealing with the fact now. He was dealing with the fact that I hadn't died. Who was this boy to me? Why did I remember him?

"I'm not dead," I muttered and pressed against the wall, "Do you know what happened that you would think I was dead?"

"No. We aren't friends..."

"How do you know who I am?"

Suddenly I saw him turn away towards the big stadium that he had just performed, "Look kid. You got a mistake...I don't know who you are. You just look like someone that I saw one time..."

He started to walk away and for a moment I could only watch. He didn't seem so nice, definitely didn't seem like the kind of person that I would be friends with. He seemed so distinctively selfish perhaps. I was watching him walk away, in fact, I was going to let him go away. I couldn't though, knowing that from here I had no where to go. I didn't know anywhere else to go. I ran after him and took him by the wrist. At first he struggled, but I managed to pin his hand against the wall. This body definitely was strong, to say the least.

"Look," I told him, soberly, "I saved you. You said it yourself. Do you know how it feels to wake up from sleep? You know that you had a dream, but you can't remember it. The dream came with emotions, emotions that you want to feel again. But you can't remember the dreams, the emotions or even what happened when you fell asleep."

"I know the feeling," he said and suddenly he started crying.

I didn't know why he was crying, truthfully. It sort of scared me to see a grown man cry. I touched his shoulder a little, comforting him. It made me wonder even more who this boy was. He moved away as I touched him.

"Ok, I'll tell you later. I gotta go back soon, to let them know that I'm alright..."

"I have no where to go."

It was hard to tell him that. I always had character traits that just came naturally. Pride definitely was one of those things. I hated for someone to see me in such bad condition.

He sighed, "Ok, ok. Wait here. I'll be back in 10 minutes."

"Are you really going to be back?" I held him tighter.

"Get off of me!" he scolded me and pulled away heavily, "I said I was going to be back right?"

"Here wait, this is a note that I have kept as long as I could remember. It's from a boy named Eric. Do you know him?"

"Give me the note."

I took the note out and handed it to him. He turned around rudely after taking the note and was gone.

I let go of him. He gave me a look. This guy didn't like me, I could tell it even before he said anything. I didn't understand it, but the way he looked at me, it was almost like he hated me. I worried whether I had gone to the wrong person in my search to the past. I was unsure though. I had no choice, whether he hated me or liked me, he knew about me.

My body was sore and I hadn't had anything to eat for days. The shoes that I had stolen had began to chip away. I wanted to know who I was before I went back to the institution. I wanted to speak to my family (if I had any).

Hazel Eyes had said my name was Damien. I wanted to know the life of this Damien.

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ADRIAN

I walked away from him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back, I mean this wasn't just anyone. This was goddam Damien! My heart raced. I had looked in the face of the person who I hadn't known but hated so much for so long. Even though his skin seemed pale and he looked so thin, it was almost like he was some kind of artwork. His face looked so featured and intense.

It wasn't like the boys at the Syndicate who had a sort of envious beauty or Eric who had a sort of simple beauty. This guy, his features were defined, to the limit that every pimple, every sore on his face was designed artistically as if there was no other way to see him.

Seeing him, my heart bled. I couldn't see how Eric fell in love with him. I mean, of course Damien wasn't beautiful. His normality was stenching. There was no reason for jealousy was there. I played with the note that Eric had written Damien. It was probably nothing, but then why did I want to read it so badly?

Before I noticed it, I was near the bus, but I looked down at the letter. I needed to read it now before I saw Eric. I needed to know what I was up against. Perhaps I could just tell Eric. Perhaps Eric would still love me even if he knew about Damien. Perhaps Damien was just the past.

The letter had read;

From Eric to Damien. He is the truth, I wonder if he knows.

Because he is the truth and he is so real.

And because he is so real, the rest are only in a fairytale

He has told me that my dreams are reality

And everything else is only a nightmare

Who here can say that the curl of his lips are not perfect? If they did say so, they would be wrong, because only he is right

No wonder is quite like this

No building, no statue and no art is quite like his Who here could say that one man, should not love another in the way I love him? If they did say so, they would be wrong, because only he is right

Only his truth is right and only his beauty is true

And all the rest are false, because he told me it was false Who here can say that I am stubborn after he told me that I was not?

Yet they continue to try to make me not believe his truth...

And when they spoke there was only one voice that I heard

it was his.

He told me that the sun was the color of the rainbows

and the sand was the color of the skies

And no one can make me believe otherwise

Who says this is a poem and not a diary?

If you did, you would be wrong, because only he is right

Yet he is the only weakness, that this strong mind contains

He is no doubt my only enemy

And he is no doubt my only friend

Who here can say that I cannot love my only enemy?

Who here can say there cannot be two Romeos to one play?

Who here can say that the rain has not fallen on me?

If you did say so, you would be wrong

Because only Damien is right

If he didn't know...now he knows

I dropped the letter inside of the muddy floor. It was in the past. It didn't matter. Right?! I watched the mud surround the letter and I began to step onto it, smashing it deeper into the mud. Eric must have been drunk or something when he wrote it. Damien being the truth...but look at what happened. I started to laugh all of a sudden.

He was the truth, but it seemed the truth had forgotten himself! He couldn't remember the perfect life that he had. I remembered how he looked in the alley. He looked like he had pneumonia or something. I hadn't even asked how. Part of me wanted to know more and the other part of me kept saying that the boy back there wasn't Damien.

I pulled my hand back and punched the shit out of the bus. I didn't even realize how hard I was hitting it until the bus shook a little and the rain that had settled on top came falling on me.

"Who is that?!"

Suddenly I saw Eric, Jay and Nina walking out into rain, all and together. They looked at me, almost like I was crazy. Perhaps...now I was. I couldn't look at Eric. I knew he was there, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I saw the words that he had used for Damien. They hurt too much. What if he knew that Damien was just on the other side of the coliseum in the alley? Would he stay with me and hold me while I cry? Or would he run to Damien, where he stands?

"Adrian, what is wrong with you...come in!" I heard Nina calling, "Its pouring outside."

I looked up at her. 'Shut the fuck up for once Nina', I wanted to tell her. She never minded her business. I rolled my eyes at her. If only she knew what was going on, what the fuck would she think of me? My relationship was just beginning and now it was about to end.

I let out a laugh. Oh my fucking god, it was pouring out here! If I wasn't wet before, I dame sure was wet now. The rain on me had completely drenched my clothing.

"Jay can I talk to you?"

Why did I want to talk to Jay? I wasn't sure. I think that was why I wanted to talk to him. I wasn't sure what he was going to say. My mind was...it was different now. The thoughts that I had were complicated and harsh. They were harsh because they were emotionally driven. I wanted to hear what he had to say because I knew that he wasn't going to say that I should just tell Eric. I mean that seemed to be the reasonable thing now to do, but Jay wasn't reasonable.

All I had to do was tell Eric. It would be like "Eric, the boy who you've mourned for more than a year now is alive, but doesn't remember you." It would have been the same as telling Eric to get out of my life and go marry that stupid, dead looking corpse that was in the alley.

"I'm not going out there, my cut is dry," Jay said, holding his head, holding a wound that he had probably gotten from being thrown into the crowd.

"GET THE FUCK OUT HERE NOW!"

My voice boomed and I could feel myself getting worse. I mean my mind wasn't what it used to be. This mind that I had was corrupted. I could feel the anger within me. I saw how everyone's eyes bulged, not understanding my anger. Fuck them! I understood my anger.

Jay began to crawl out into the rain and I grabbed him by the collar leading him away from the bus. I watched the eyes of Eric and Nina following behind us. I didn't care if they were suspicious. They had good reason to be. I was so pissed that I couldn't hold my anger. We walked, walked furiously until we had gotten far away from Eric and Nina's view of sight. We were moving towards the alley. I saw the figure, still lurking back there. He seemed not to even be looking for cover of the rain. He just stood in the rain and shivered. What an idiot that boy was...he definitely wasn't worth Eric.

"You know I should be pissed at you, not the other way around," Jay said, "I'm still mad at that fucking charade you pulled with Antonio."

"Jay shut up, ok? Now, come here," I demanded and pulled his head towards the alley so that he could see the face of the boy back there, "Does that face look familiar?"

I saw Jay squinting as he stared out at the boy, "No, he doesn't."

"Its because he's supposed to be dead!" I shouted in Jay's ear. My hands were shaking...

The anger was there, enough to cause jerking spasms throughout my body. I hated that boy in the back alley and I knew why. I had spent so much time on Eric...too much.

Jay glared at me, "What are you talking about?"

"Jay that is Damien."

Jay looked at me and then the boy back in the alley. He had never seen Damien in his life. He hadn't even been to Damien's memorial. Jay had always tried to avoid Damien and the memory that Damien even existed. All this time he had blamed himself for Damien's death and now he was looking right at him. We were both quiet, the silliness that I had seen beginning to stir up in Jay had somehow completely faded. This was a most serious matter.

"Which Damien?"

"Don't act stupid Jay. I'm really not in the mood for acting stupid right now," I told him, irritated by him and the long rains drizzling on my head.

"I've never seen so much anger come out of death," Jay said and for the moment I saw a smile, "I want to talk to him..."

I grabbed him by his hand and pulled him back. There was nothing Jay could say or do to make it worse, but still I didn't want to underestimate the destructiveness that Jay had to offer. He began to laugh when I had grabbed him. He probably knew that I was going to do it.

"No, Jay. Don't talk to him."

I couldn't take it any longer. Jay was looking at the boy as if the boy was some kind of deity. If he knew what I was thinking, if anyone knew what I was thinking. I had thoughts of killing the boy back in the aisle. What would it hurt? I could just destroy him now, then Eric would never know. There was only one problem with all that. I wasn't a killer. I looked at Jay, he would probably do it if I asked. We were that close that he would. The thing was Jay wasn't a killer too. He had a part in killing Damien the first time, but that was an accident. I prayed for another accident.

"How is he, how is he still alive?" Jay said. I could see the wonder in his eyes.

"I don't know. He doesn't remember anything. He only remembered my eyes. I guess I was the last one to see him. The night he died, we exchanged glances in the car."

"Oh really!" Jay sneered, looking more than amazed by all that was happening, "Now why is it that we are sitting here, pouting in the rain? Is this what we are now? Mourning for a man alive."

He was trying to say that I should be happy that Damien was alive. Well...of course, life is a joy, but there was such a sadness in this joy that I couldn't really touch.

My eyes pierced through him with anger, "All my life, all I wanted was happiness. I wanted a sweet life. I mean, is that too much to ask? I come so close to having that sweet life. Eric said that what we have may become love in time. Now Damien is back and Eric will run back to him."

I began to cry. Jay didn't embrace me. He was rarely the type to give a hug or anything like that. I was alone with no embrace but the cold rain. Eric's song was beginning to play back in my mind. Life wasn't sweet. I looked at the fucking idiot sitting in the back alley. The love that Eric had for him was limitless. Life was definitely sweet for him. I had never seen anything so strong in my life. It made me envious and most of all afraid. The emotions that I felt, I wondered if they were justified. I mean, I wonder if anyone else in my position would feel the same way. I couldn't find the answer. Was I reacting normally to the fear that the past had come back, come back so quickly.

"This is truly a blessing," Jay acknowledged, his eyes looking at the boy.

I felt a little betrayed and consumed, but I recognized that I couldn't think Jay would really be caring about me right now. A boy had just showed up and my feelings were selfish.

"Fine...I'll go tell Eric," I told him, tasting the rain on my lips. It was so bitter to me tonight.

He began to laugh as I said it. Jay was acting so strange.

"No," he told me, stopping me dead in my track.

This was exactly what I had expected. I had expected him to start to twist up strange thoughts in his head. Thoughts that others may have figured as wrong or terrible. This was what I wanted to hear and I knew it just by the way he told me, "no."

"Is there another way?"

I couldn't look in his eyes as I asked it. I couldn't see at all. My eyes were drenched. I wouldn't have listened to Jay a day in my life because of the evil things that he may have said, but I didn't care now. The mind set I had when I was listening to one of Jay's ideas was one that I had never been in before. I was afraid to listen and I knew there was no other way but to listen.

He held me by my shoulders and looked deep in my eyes, "It depends on how much you want to keep Eric. Would you do anything to keep Eric?"

I hesitated.

"Yes. I'd do anything to keep him."

"Good," Jay smiled and tapped me on my shoulder, "Then cheer up. We'll deal with this together. Don't tell Eric. Don't even mention it to him."

"But what about the boy?" I asked softly.

"He has no where to go right?" He asked and I nodded, "Then take him to your friend Elle's house. Let him stay there for a little while. Leave now, I'll make an excuse up for you. By morning I'll have something set for you."

"Ok, ok..."

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DAMIEN

He was coming back. The other boy that he was with (that kept looking at me) had disappeared into the rain. What had they been talking about for all that time? The other boy had been laughing with Hazel Eyes. He had looked at me and smiled. I wondered if he knew who I was. I wondered if he knew what was going on. Did any of them know anything about me?

"C`mon, I got somewhere for you to stay. By the way, my name's Adrian."

We began to walk until we got the little anchorman that was lifting people from Ellis Island back to the main island. Hazel Eyes...I mean Adrian didn't smile the whole time I was talking to him. Whatever he knew he didn't seem to tell me yet. In fact, the majority of the time going back to the main shore was basically showed he had no interest in telling me anything about my past. He completely ignored my questions by telling me to wait or telling me that I talked too much. I wondered how he would feel if he had lost his memory and come back after all this time. He wouldn't have been patient about it. I was sure about that.

The shore was a dark one. Adrian had another friend, this one didn't seem as strange as the first friend that Adrian had. She seemed quite nice as she introduced herself as an Elizabeth. Elizabeth said that I could call her Elle, if I wanted, because all of her friend's called her that. I wasn't sure if I was her friend...so I just called her Elizabeth. Seemed right...

Was she my friend? Did I know her?

No, that was for sure, she had just met me. It was for sure by the way she introduced herself. Adrian had introduced me to Elizabeth as a friend of his. Was I Adrian's friend?

"He has no where to go Elle," Hazel Eyes told her, "I know that this is really quick, but I need to ask you if you have enough room to take him in."

"Ugh, sure. How long will this be for?"

"Not long I think," he told me.

Truth was Elizabeth had never even seen me before. Adrian told me not to talk to her, but I could tell by the way she started to ask me questions. Adrian covered for me each time she asked me. He kept changing the subject. It was answers that I didn't know. Who are you? Where are you from? How old are you? I didn't know any of these things.

Elizabeth was very talkative. She was also very nosy. I kept wondering if she knew anything about me. I wanted to ask her so much, but was scared of the reaction that Hazel Eyes might have if I asked her. I decided to shut up and keep to myself as we came up to the big house that was on the hill. It looked like some kind of house on the prairie kind of thing. The rain seemed gentle near this house, not as hard as it was when it fell on me back at the coliseum. This rain seemed gentle and easy. It was a very small house, very small. It didn't look like much at the sight of the house and as we walked out into the house I realized Elizabeth.

"Don't you have any baggage?" she asked.

I looked down, "No. I'm so hungry."

She gave me a strange look, almost like she had never been hungry before. She gave me a little look and then looked at Adrian. We walked into the house. It was so small and yet more that what I was used to. All I could think about was getting something to eat.

"Sorry, this is all I have at the time," she said bringing me some bread with butter and some milk, "Got laid off last week."

"No its good!" I said. I hadn't eaten for so long.

I grabbed the bread and began to dip it into the milk so that it would be easier to swallow. The quicker I ate, the better. If anything I learned from being out on the streets for so long was that if you don't take advantage of the present then you won't be prepared for the future. I ate, ate so fast until I had finally started to choke. The food had no taste to me, none at all. I just wanted to eat it quickly so that I couldn't be so hungry anymore.

"Are you ok? The food isn't going anywhere," Elizabeth had told me, rubbing my back.

"I'm fine."

She was so caring. I wondered if I knew caring people like her in my past. Adrian was sitting away from me. His head was down in some thick thought, probably uncomfortable with me being there. It was clear he didn't want me to be there. I slowed my eating down, beginning to take slow bites and try to be a little neater. It was so hard to do because I was so hungry.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"A week now..."

"Jesus!" she called out, "Why haven't you eaten for so long?"

"Well, I had no money when I escaped from the institution."

She seemed so surprised. The truth was I had been pretty sure that it probably had been more than a week since I had eaten. I saw Adrian looking up. I wondered if he was mad at me for talking to her too much. What was it that he didn't want her to know about me? Why was I such a secret to him?