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LaDulceVida- The Sweet Life
THE SWEET LIFE
My name is Adrian. I am 18 now. Ok, I'm 17, but if anyone asks tell them I'm 18 because in just a few weeks I'll be 18 anyway. I am probably the same little boy that lived next to you. The one that you probably played with a couple of times and then he moved away. I moved a lot during my childhood. I went through the same problems that most boys went through, but my parents moved just a hell ova lot. I had finally come back and for the first time in my life I was content.
I moved out of my parents house and became a man. I didn't go to college. No time. The world was out there for me to explore. I had talent, true talent.
See I was in a boy band named Vida. It meant life. We had started the group about 10 years ago but then I ended up leaving. We really had talent, but back then were little kids running around just acting silly. We had Vida going on for almost 4 years now. We finally got a record deal with Inc. Records about two years ago. Everything was fine, you would think. I mean we were popular, but not famous. We were liked but not loved. There was something holding us back.
Vida consisted of three singers. Me, my cousin Jay and then there was ORyan. ORyan's problem was that he was never really there. After a year of the recording deal got signed, we were forced to drop ORyan. At the end of last year, I came back out here, to where it all started. To my home. The original members of Vida were what was needed. There was only one other person that could fill in for ORyan. His name was Eric. He was the perfect addition to the band. See, O`Ryan and Jay were too similar. They both were full of themselves, trying to get the spotlight any time that they could.
"Eric, are you ok?" I asked, after he came out of the booth.
It had been since a year since Eric signed with us. I mean his voice was good. He really had a soft voice, like always and he really evened out Jay's loud booming voice and my sharp Brittish accent (don't ask). Either way, he seemed a little sad. It wasn't the first time. I knew that he was thinking about someone, someone that he had lost a while back. Eric was a mystery. He NEVER talked about the person he lost, be we all knew that it was what he was thinking about.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he said, then gave me a little fake smile while we both watched Jay getting up to enter the booth next.
The producer, Morgan Isaacs, a person who we all knew as Isaac stood up and started to direct Jay immediately. Screaming on what Jay was doing. It was almost funny. Isaac and Jay always clashed. Jay swore to everyone that he was some kind of music making machine and he DEFINITELY didn't take orders from anyone, including Isaac. Isaac was always loud, but he just acted that way to get his ideas across. Jay never understood that. He was too hotheaded to care about Isaac's ideas. I laughed, like I always did when they started to clash.
Then I looked over at Eric. He was leaning against the wall, his head pressed up against the wall. His legs were up against the side of the tables. He kept to himself most of the time. He was part of what we were making, but I knew his mind was somewhere else. I was gonna say something else, but then I didn't. I just stopped.
"Eric, move your depressed ass over!"
I looked up to see Hype Williams. He pushed Eric over a little so that they could share the bench outside of the sound booth. Hype we called him. He was our manager. Most everyone with us weren't too concerned with Eric's feelings, but me. It was funny almost. I mean they sincerely just didn't wonder about what happened to Eric that made him have his dry spells. I mean they did care about him, but never cared why he acted the way he did all the time. I did though. I looked at Eric. He was looking at the floor. He was in deep thought. Dang...
Eric was the boy in our group that most of the girls fell in love with. I mean they came to the concert to watch Jay do all his crazy dancing and take of his shirt. I mean they liked Jay, but Eric was the guy that everyone really kept the hearts of most of the girls. He didn't have to be as sexually explicit as Jay, taking off his shirt and pulling his pants so far down that you could see his pubes. Eric never took off his shirt except during the photo shoots that we did for the few cameos we had. He had a beautiful chest...a real sexy ass chest. Eric and I had been friends for so long and I mean I wanted it to be more, but I knew that wouldn't happen. There was a barrier around Eric that I couldn't explain.
See I was gay. Most everyone knew it. Hype said that I could do whatever because we weren't a real media threat at the moment. He trusted my decisions and I was necessary enough to the group to deal with my sexuality. I was the one who wrote most the songs, I was the best singer. I was necessary. I knew that they would drop me in a second if the media did ever get caught up to me being gay, so I was EXTRA careful all the time. Jay didn't even like to hear that I was gay, but Eric never seemed to mind. He kept telling me that I should with whoever made me happy.
"Adrian, you recorded your part?" our manager asked.
I nodded, "Yea this morning. I came in early."
He put his hand on my shoulder, "You see Eric. You should be more like this guy. Always pushing for the team. You should thank him for the album. I swear..."
I blushed and tried not to embarrass Eric.
"Thanks," he told me and got up.
He picked up and just walked out of the room. Dang. I knew that what Hype said wasn't really bothering it. I didn't know what was bothering. He never NEVER told anyone. I went after him. Eric was beautiful to me. I wondered if he knew that I liked him. Jay knew. Jay used to tease me about it all the time. If Jay knew (Jay being probably the idiot of the world) then I knew that Eric must of had an idea. Even if he did know, he never said anything. I followed him out to where he went into the restroom to the sink and started to wash his face with the warm water. I looked at it. This boy was FINE. With a capital F. He had full eyebrows and full eyes. He squinted a lot though, but it was a sexy thing. His hair was long, puffed up and tied into an Afro ponytail like he usually had it. His skin had the most unique complexion. It was like the color of I dunno...like the color of...I guess sand.
"Why you following me?" he suddenly said, with a hint of a little annoyance in his voice. He was always polite until it came to his goddam privacy.
"Why do you always put a wall up?" I asked, "I mean the guys like you, but no one really knows you. We should be like a...I guess like a family now."
He turned off the water and grabbed a towel, wiping it around first the side of his face and then down toward his sexy lips. I wanted to kiss them and pull him closer to me. That was not gonna happen though. I mean I definitely knew that he wasn't available. I mean the only clue that he was gay was the relationship he had with that boy Damien. But I didn't know that they were romantic or anything and I knew that it had to do with Damien that he was always so down. That was an even deeper barrier that I knew I definitely couldn't cross.
"You know something," he asked me and leaned against the sink. He had a tight ass, I could even through his sweat pants, "When you came and told me to join this thing. You really gave me a meaning to like I guess continue, but I mean forgive me if I'm not as psyched about this singing thing as you are. I'm here cause I ain't got nothing better to do. That's cool with you?"
"Yeah I guess."
"And could you please stop following me," he said in an almost nice way, "I mean. When I walk away, I am finding something for myself. You are one of my best friends, but there are some things that you will never know about me." He walked out. We'll see about that, I promised him as I saw him exit. Now you see how Eric is. I mean he is a shadow. He had become a shadow slowly after the memorial of that boy Damien.
Eric was right about something though. He really didn't have as much passion as Jay or I had about it. He was always the last to show up to the booth and the first to leave. He left as soon as he was done talking to me in the bathroom. He had never told us that he didn't want to be there, only that he was there because it was the only thing left to do. A chance of a lifetime! The only motivation he had for being with Vida was because there was nothing else to do.
I ended up later that day in Jay's apartment, going over the goddam news and everything that would slightly get us to know what was going on in the music world these days. The Inc. Records reputation had almost crashed after a controversy with the more main acts in the label. I knew that this could either be a good thing for us or a very bad thing. Either Irv Gotti, owner of the label, would put us on top or the whole label would fail and we would be out on the street again doing nothing.
Jay looked over at the counter, where I was sitting, "If the album is hot, all this doesn't matter."
I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what to think, "I dunno. There are a line of artists that come before us on this one. The Inc. doesn't have money to put us all out. Hype was thinking maybe we should be looking for someone else to sign us."
I knew that wasn't what Jay wanted to here. The last thing he wanted to do was start over. I saw him roll his eyes and lean back in his chair, "Bullshit."
"Yeah ok, but while we are taking forever to finish this album, the other artists are coming out with even more crap. That guy Lloyd. He just made his debut. If he does do good, Irv is only gonna put him out more and if he doesn't do good, there will probably no more money to produce our album until like next year."
Jay rolled over, "That's Hype's job."
It was sad almost, that Jay would put all his future into someone else's hands so willingly. I did trust Hype, but sometimes I recognized that Hype did make bad decisions. I had seen him arguing with Irv over and over. I had seen Irv completely dump acts because of bad managing.
"Jay we are so close to making it big...but we could lose it all," I warned him. The idiot just looked to the t.v though. Not giving to craps about it.
"It doesn't matter. Tomorrow we got that radio show. The people love us already. All I need is some air time."
He wasn't cocky really, he was just wishful. He was always wishful. His dreams were the reason that we had gotten so far. I had the ideas and he had the dreams. I guess that was what our whole relationship was based on. He told me how far he wanted to go and I made sure that we got there. I didn't blame him for being so dependent on me. He always was in a way. I watched as he got off the chair and came to the back of me squeezing my shoulders.
"Its ok, we'll get through this. We always do don't we?"
I nodded.
"Ok. See I keep telling you. Now get ready we gonna go party it up tonight."
Party...that word sent me on edge every time I heard it. I knew it wasn't going to be so easy to party when we got famous...if we got famous. I would miss the freedom of partying the night over, getting drunk and falling on my face almost choking on my own tongue. Of course, I always felt strange partying with Jay. He had his straight crowd, the kind of crowd that clung to him, trying to ride him for all the popularity that they thought he would soon obtain. They had just come when he got signed to the Inc. I knew as well as Jay that they would leave as soon as they found out that he was even close to failing. Jay of course didn't care. He was using them in a way too. He got whatever from them as he could, flaunting to them about his events during the day.
We winded up going down to the Syndicate. Yeah, it was a gay club, but Jay already had his straight friends. He was also very VERY interested in meeting with all the lesbian women and seeing if they by any chance would go 2 way. He did this for me every now and then, knowing that I needed a good fuck sometime too.
Mr. Knight was the leader of the Syndicate. He had HIV. He had been dying for almost the past year. He was a real strange guy, but was always nice to Jay and I when we came to the club. He put is in the V.I.P section every time we showed up at the club. He asked for Eric almost constantly but would never say how he knew Eric. Then there was this guy named Robbie. He was the young heir of the Syndicate. Mr. Knight had somehow handpicked him to run the syndicate. I had seen this cat named Robbie before. He was the one that spoke at Damien's memorial. He was probably the smoothest dude I ever seen. I mean, the way he spoke was almost like he was trying to hypnotize people. I had met him one or two times, in the Syndicate, but he was really the busy type. He hardly gave me a second look. This dude was like Adonis himself, I mean not that there were any really ugly guys in the syndicate, but I could see why Mr. Knight would leave that guy so much money.
"A toast to the life!" I heard Jay saying raising a glass of Moet, as though he was actually the legal age to be drinking it.
"To life," a few of his non-important disciples suddenly echoed.
"To Vida," I whispered, swallowing my glass as I finally saw that Robbie dude. He was sitting alone, by the counter. I finally had the chance to talk to him...probably make him notice me.
"ADRIAN, where you going?" "I'll be back."
I walked down the winding staircases of the club and into the lower section where I saw that Robbie dude. I sat right next to him, on the stool and he didn't even notice me. Then suddenly I cleared my throat and he turned my way. He was looking right through me.
"Something I can do for you?"
I leaned against the bar, "Ahh, how about give me your phone number?"
Ok! I was goddam asking the heir to what would probably be a million dollar club chain if I could have his phone number. To my surprise, he didn't catch too much of a scold. He just started to laugh.
"No. Sorry."
"Ok, maybe I was being too forward. My name's Adrian."
I stretched out my hand to shake his, but he just turned away, "My name's Rob. But now Adrian, what would a famous pop singer like you want my phone number for?"
I laughed, "I guess I'm just a little curious."
Curious, the word to say that you were gay but gave people the kind of mindset to think that you had probably just decided to be gay today and tomorrow you would return to your regular straight move. I knew it was a bunch of shit and by the look in his eyes, so did he. I sunk in my stool, pushing up my shirt and trying to expose the sexy abs that Jay had forced me to create over the past months. I saw Rob raise his hand and over the counter jumped the bartender.
"Are you curious with your little singing partner?"
I looked up at Jay who was at the VIP section eating cantaloupe of some lucky smut, "O hell no, that's my cousin."
"I wasn't talking about that loser," Rob said smiling at me. I would have normally knocked a guy out for calling Jay a loser, you know. But who could hit this guy. It would have been a sin to even be mad at him for long.
"Oh, Eric," I said and I watched Rob's eyes sparkle almost, "Nah. He doesn't go that way. He's not accessible."
The guy Rob began to laugh almost suddenly, "Oh, he is very accessible. Just not by you. Hey Byron! C`mere!"
That was a low blow. The guy had just met me and yet he had constantly insulted me from the beginning of the conversation to the end. Normally I wouldn't have taken crap like that. But this was from ROBBIE. He was probably the most eligible guy in the whole city at the moment. I mean, he would soon be owner of his own club and other clubs along the south side. The craziest part of it was that he was bi. Now I know that I was attractive. Heck no I wasn't ugly. I mean, all people had to do was take a look at my tight abs and they would probably fall in love. But I guess I was just like Jay. All I wanted was fame and sex.
I looked the bartender up. Dark hair, bright eyes. He looked almost like him and Rob could be painted in the same picture.
"Byron, why don't you go show this boy a good time."
"Sure, Robbie."
By the biggest fucking surprise of my life, the big hunk of a dude grabbed me by my hand. He was holding hands with me! He led me out of the room as though he had been lovers for a lifetime. I looked up at Jay one last time hoping that he would be ok left alone in a club with all gay people. He was gonna be fine...
That guy Byron led me out into this small room. It wasn't much of a room, just a little room. There were black drapes lined up against the wall and even a small stool. He just put me up against the wall and leaned into me. I could feel his heavy breath against my neck. I was HORNY AS HECK! I could feel the precum coming out of my dick all of a sudden.
"Antonio," I heard Byron suddenly call out. From outside came a boy, about as tall as Jay was, which was just a little taller then me. He looked young. He was cute and all but I wondered why the hell Byron would call him. Suddenly I saw Byron turn around and leave me there with the boy.
WHAT THE HECK! Not only had I been declined by Robbie, I had been declined by Robbie's friend and now his friend was leaving me with some goddam assistant at my hands. Before I had time to let out my anger, the young assistant put his lips onto mine. He just kissed me, almost innocently like he was trying to shut me up or something.
"My name is Adrian," I told him, pushing him about. I always wanted to know the people I was gonna be involved with for some reason. I knew I was just delaying. His hand was slowly touching my abs, running through them.
"O really." he said, "You want to have dick up your ass tonight, sir?"
I saw him slowly dropping his pants and revealing a huge Spanish cock. I nodded excitedly and saw him touching my face, almost playing with it. I wondered if he was gonna take off the rest of his crap, but instead he just lifted me up with so much goddam strength and told me to get on my hands and knees. I panted. Doing as he said. I mean my ass had been yearning to be fucked for the LONGEST time. Even though I had a woody about the size of the goddam sears tower, I decided that there wasn't much choosing in the Syndicate. I unzipped my pants and pulled them down, then bent over as far as I could.
I sat there feeling a cold gust rampage around my asshole as I waited patiently. I looked behind me and saw him digging through his pockets.
"Fuck, I can't seem to find my condom," he said suddenly, "Is it ok if I..."
"I got one," I suddenly said about to move and dig in my pocket.
I heard a sort of grumbling sound and then suddenly he shouted out, "Never mind I found it."
I knew he wanted to fuck me bareback but I definitely didn't trust the guys in the syndicate. I felt his firm hands come from my backside as it squeezed my ass thoroughly. He leaned over on my back and started to lick the back of my neck as I slowly felt the huge dick entering me. It went through my ass and pulled out, then suddenly went back in again deeper. I knew that he wasn't going to be able to fit the whole thing.
"AWWwwwwww, it hurts."
I told him. He put a finger to my lips to hush me, "You'll love it," he promised.
I could feel him pull back in again and he reached under me and cupped my balls. He was playing with my balls all of a sudden, as he dicked me up my ass even deeper. He licked my earlobe, my neck, my back. I started to moan from the start, not only moaning but begging that he fuck me faster. It was almost a tease with him, entering my ass so slow and then taking his dick completely out then waiting for a little while before he reentered.
I was jerking almost too throughly now, my hands pounding my dick harder and harder. I counted how many times he was thrusting. 20... 21... 22... 23... then suddenly at 24, I could feel myself not able to take too much more. I completely cummed on myself breathing hard as I did so. He suddenly stopped thrusting.
"No, its ok, you can keep going. Please keep going."
He looked at me with a strange look. How the fuck could I cum so fast! It was so fucking embarrassing. I was sitting now begging as he slowly pulled out of me, picked up the condom and then threw it on the floor.
"The things I do..."
I knew he was talking to me, as I quickly jumped off the floor and pulled up my pants. He meant the things he does for me. I looked at him not knowing what to say as I watched him to pull his pants. "I'm sorry, it usually doesn't happen that fast," I told him, knowing that half the time it did happen that fast especially when I don't know the person too well.
He looked at me and turned toward the door, "Its ok, pop princess. You aren't the first."
Damn. He gave me another look, as though I was a piece of shit, then he gave me a little smirk and left. He left me feeling like crap all of a sudden. The pop princess thing was one thing, but the way the Syndicate guys treated me all in one was almost like it was something personal. It was almost like they felt superior to me. We walked out of the room and then Jay took me back to the hotel. We wondered what was going on, but no one really said anything. Jay knew there was something wrong, but he was the kind never to ask. He said that he was going out. I knew he was probably going to fuck someone. I hoped he had a little more luck than I did.
I laid on my bed. I was a confused guy. I mean half of me wondered why those guys at the Syndicate acted like that to me. I mean it wasn't one of those things that had given you an idea to just flip on them. I couldn't flip on them. It would be in the wrong if I did. I fell asleep on my bed, angry and disappointed. I was just a little bitter that life hadn't turned out the way I expected it. Life wasn't always sweet. The sweet life was hard to find...
There was a knock that woke me up in the middle of the night. I growled to myself, not having the energy to pull up out of bed. Whoever it was had to have a damn good reason. I sat up, hoping that it wasn't Jay getting in trouble with the cops. I had already begun to laugh under my breath knowing the idiot probably got drunk and ran around naked in the middle of the street or some crazy thing like that. It wasn't going to be the first time it happened. I walked to the door and opened it.
"Eric. What are you doing here?"
He looked at. He was wearing his jacket and his same sweat pants. I wondered if he had just got out and bed, then decided to run out of bed. I began to dream all of a sudden, imagining him leaning into me and kissing my mouth with a open tongue, then shoving his dick down my throat.
"Sorry. I just wrote this song and I mean I HAD to show it to you."
"Sure come in."
I had gotten my hopes up with a man yet again. I watched Eric walk in and closed the door behind him. I was in my goddam boxers and a wife-beater. Eric had seen me with even less clothes on but that was usually just for photo shoots and it was in more public. I tried to look nonchalant and try to turn on the sexual tension. I had been disappointed way too much for one day.
"I mean, its not finished," he said looking at me, "mostly not even started, but the melody is catchy. I could get probably Isaacs to edit it and add a nice beat to it. It really isn't a dancing song. Sort of like one of those slow jams. We need at least one of those you know?"
His eyes were so beautiful. For the first time he seemed a little excited about it too. He looked at me with these eyes. I had never seen it from him since we were little kids running around.
"Why here? I mean you know Isaacs is at the studio 24/7. I bet you here still there now."
"I wanna know if its good enough. I mean you're the only one I trust to tell the truth."
He gave me a little charming ass smile that almost knocked me off my feet. I couldn't say anything. He moved a little closer to me, in one or two steps and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me actually. Instead he just handed me the goddam tape.
"You gonna play it?" he asked me and I nodded, silently still hoping that the feeling that I was having wasn't just that. I hoped it wasn't a feeling only 'I' was having. How could he not feel it.
I took it out of him and shook my head. The attraction was probably just my imagination. He probably did just see me the little endearing things as a friend. That was what we were. We were friends. For me to think that there would be more would have been wrong. GODDAM sexy, sweet ERIC!
I played it in the little radio. The soft sound of Eric's piano came playing. It was a melody that was different what I've ever heard. It was almost so old that it was new. Then suddenly Eric's voice came on. It was slow, a slow song. He sounded so endearing...almost that sincerity that Eric had was suddenly coming out inside song. It was like this the genuine Eric that I seen was finally being expressed on tape.
"Life isn't sweet Takes you by the throat Knocks you off your feet I was anticipating For ever waiting For you... Our bodies climb together Making love forever To you... And the temptation moving over I wanted you to finally love me..."
The song went on like that, describing a love scene, as though it was it first. It was almost like Eric's real story was coming out of this song. He was truly singing, not really hitting those low notes that he usually did. I saw now that he was capable of hitting high notes just like Jay did. I had never known him for his singing but definitely this one song it was almost like...
"You made my dream come true And with secrets you only knew You caressed my soul A dream that grew A bird that flew A day that came Give me your body, your love As you touch those certain places From the low up above Give me your body, body, your love."
The lyrics were simple but off the radio, he had given them so much meaning. It was almost like each word had its own meaning. I didn't know how it was possible that he could make such a song. My mouth dropped as Eric looked dead in my eyes. Deep in me I wondered if he was singing this song for me. Deep inside...I wondered whether it was real that there was a possibility that he could make something so beautiful for me.
"Its beautiful," I told him and suddenly I had to make my move. I jumped on him giving him a kiss...it was soft...almost too soft because I realized that he wasn't kissing me back. I was magic for me though to feel his lips. I felt the way he looked at me.
Suddenly he stepped back and looked at the door.
CRAP! I knew I did it. I wanted to hit myself with a stuffed sock, for being so stupid again. I had definitely had too much to drink that night. I reached to him trying to pull him back.
"Adrian, I probably gave you the wrong idea like that. I don't do that," he said and looked at the door again. He wanted to leave.
"I know. I'm sorry. Look. I was just...I have something I need to talk to you about."
"Ahh. Look I really gotta go."
"Please Eric. I mean give me a chance to explain myself."
I took another step to him, only to get pushed away probably like you would push away a pesky old man. There was strength in it but there was also pity. He pitied me. I burst out into tears before I knew it and fell on the counter.
"Adrian, maybe you had too much to drink..."
WAS HE SERIOUS! I kiss him and try to let him know how I feel and all he has to say is that I had too much to drink. I wanted to cuddle up in the corner and die all of a sudden. I was going to continue talking, probably tell him anything as his song slowly came to an end. I had to tell him something. Instead I just looked at him trying to hide everything...
"Yeah. You know maybe I did have too much to drink. Can I borrow this tape. I'll play it for Jay and bring it to Isaacs first thing in the morning."
"Sure...but are you ok?" he asked.
He came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. His touch was so soft. I wanted it on my shoulder forever, but instead I just pulled back and put my hand up.
"Hey buddy. I might be a little drunk but I'll be ok."
"Ok, if you say so. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
I watched him walking out trying to make my tears go away and as soon as he left the room, I started to cry all of a sudden. I prayed to everything that he did excuse my behavior as just one of those drunk things. I prayed a lot that he did so. Still I remembered his touch. It was so soft. Everything about his body was soft. His face. His hands. His muscular body. Everything was soft.
I looked at the tape. Life isn't sweet...it said. It wasn't, definitely not to me. I wondered who that Damien boy was again. I wondered if he had joy in his life. I mean he had Eric...so what was it that had made him so very sad. Why is it that people could even wonder if he had joy in his life, if he had someone so sweet like Eric in his life? He probably lived the sweet life.