Kyles-out-coming
This is based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience, but it is a work of pure fiction. Come to think of it, at times it may not be that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters between men, so if this offends you, or you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be here, shame on you - please stop here and push the back button.
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From Chapter 32
Jeremy flew into his dad's arms, both of them crying, then Sister Snow joined them. "You knew – didn't you, Helen?"
"I was a little worried – about that and about – Emily. She's going to be devastated."
"I'll tell her – at least that we can't be married. Please don't tell anyone else about the rest of all this, Dad – and Mom. That's for me to do – when and if I am ready to."
"Don't worry, son, your secret – your SECRETS – are safe with us. Are you gonna tell the Bishop?"
"Yeah – I know I can trust Bishop Miller. At least about being gay. I doubt the rest is important to tell him."
"You may be excommunicated." Said George
"Ohhh – NOOO!" cried Helen.
"Why? I haven't done anything to deserve excommunication. If I do some day – I'll deal with it at that time."
"I think it's time for some ice cream sundaes!" said Brother Snow.
"Is that a Mormon thing – to celebrate bad news with ice cream sundaes?" I asked. They all laughed!
Dammit I wanted to know!
Chapter 33
"So, are you still going to go to BYU, Jerry?" Asked his mother.
"I don't think he would be comfortable there, considering his – um – latest revelation to us, Helen."
"Oh – I suppose you're right, Dear."
"People – I'm almost 22! And please don't talk as if I'm not right here in the room!" Cried Jeremy.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry, baby," said Helen, "You know we love you and only want the best for you. But it's hard for a mother to let go and let her babies decide what's best for themselves sometimes."
"Actually, you'd probably be surprised how many gay student are actually at BYU, Mom. But I think I want to go some place closer to home, since I can't play football. My grades are good enough to go wherever I want."
"You mean more like Fresno State?"
"Not that close to home, Mom. I was thinking somewhere down south. UCLA or maybe USC, maybe."
"Your Aunt Ethyl lives in - "
"Newhall is still too far. I am hoping to find somewhere to rent closer to L.A."
"You could stay with me!" exuded Nick. (To myself: Really?) As if he heard me thinking, Nick cast me a guilty look (at least that's what I saw!) and said, "I mean us! You could stay with us. I know my mom and pop would not charge you anything!"
"Number one," said George, "I think you're both jumping the gun. And secondly, you can't live with another family without paying them anything for bed and board."
"You're right, Dad. I wouldn't expect that and I wouldn't even consider it!"
I let my breath out. I didn't even realize I was holding it! So – THAT's off the table!
"Do you think your parents would let me pay them for room and board, Nicko?"
Nicko? Where did that come from? A few days ago he was calling him Elder!
"I wouldn't even consider staying por nada!"
"Por nada? You speak Romanian AND Spanish?" I said.
"The Spanish comes with living in Modesto. Lot's of Mexicanos here." Said Jeremy. I thought about my own buddy, Juan, then about Mike's dad and Jorge. Yeah, lot's of Mexicanos in L.A. too. Of course I knew what por nada meant. I guess I knew some Spanish too.
"Then it's settled!" said Nick. I'll ask my parents if you can – um – board with us and find out what they need."
"Of course we don't NEED anything, Nicky." Said his Dad. If the boy feels better - "
"It's not just about him feeling better, Dad. He and his parents insist on paying his way. And Dad, he's sitting right here – you can talk to him."
"I respect that. I'd feel the same. Well, let's say about $400 per month for food – and it won't cost much more as far as electricity and gas – just another shower each day. How about $600 a month?"
"You'll be giving up one of your bedrooms and some bit of privacy, Brother Graziano - " said Jeremy.
"$650 it is! You drive a hard bargain, Elder Snow!"
"Please – call me Jeremy – or even Jerry would be fine."
"I was being sarcastic, Jerry. You can call me `Dad'! You'll be like another son to me."
And Kyle (ahem! That'd be me!) is feeling something close to chopped liver by this time. I can tell by his looks toward me, that Nick feels guilty as hell, but after all, this is his buddy from his mission and they were not only very close as companions, together for up to 3 months, 24 hours a day --- but they have shared – and share - so much more! Am I being paranoid?
Mrs. Graziano said, "Well, give us your dad's number and we can work out the details."
"Jeremy is an adult, Dear." Said Mr. Graziano. "I think he can work out his own details!"
"I hate this!" said Nick's mom, "My baby is growing up!" That got an almost withering look from both Nick and his dad.
"650 will be great!" said Jeremy.
So, everyone except me, he's told to call him `Jerry'. I felt left out, so I said, "This is so exciting (well, excitement wasn't EXACTLY what I was feeling!), Jeremy. We can all go to University in L.A. I'm hoping that you guys choose USC, since it is where my brother goes. We can all go root for the same team, that way!"
"First of all," started Jeremy, "please call me Jerry' – or Jer' if you wish."
(I feel so much better! (NOT!))
"And – now that I think of it - I'm afraid I cannot afford USC, since I cannot go in with a football scholarship. My grades are not good - but not SC good. It'll have to be UCLA for me!"
"Same here, Bud." Said Nick. He looked at me sadly – he knew I DID have the grades to get a scholarship at SC, and be with my brother. I felt torn in two! At least Mike would be at SC!
Once alone with Nick, he said, "What's wrong, Kye?"
"I think you know."
"Yeah – I feel kind of torn, too. I can almost imagine what you are feeling!"
(CAN you?) "I've got a couple months to decide where I'll go." I said, trying to forget that my boyfriend will be permanently rooming with another guy – that he loves! "(Sigh!) We'll have to take it a day at a time, I guess. Anyway, we're all invited to my house for a barbeque, tomorrow night. I think my parents have some sort of announcement to make – or something. At least it felt that way when my mom called."
"Great!" said Jeremy and Nick in unison. We went over to Mike's and told him all the forgoing, and to invite him to the barbeque, while sitting in the hot tub. No one suggested doing Mike's stretching exercises (to my very mixed feelings!)
"So what are we celebrating?" I asked as we were all eating our hamburgers, (two of which were nearly raw!)
"Well," said my mom, "It really isn't a celebration – exactly. But, there is an announcement – of sorts." She said looking at a very forlorn looking Carston.
My brother finished the thought: "Carston's parents kicked him out."
"My dad kicked me out – over objections from my mom!" He said, unemotionally. I suppose he's already gone through a lot of stuff on his own.
"And," my mom continued, "he will be staying here on weekends – or whenever he needs a place to go."
"Of course he'll be staying in you're room, Kevin," added my dad, "and you can have your room to yourself once again, Kyle!"
Why do people have to be that way? Why am I – as well and Nick and Jeremy – so lucky? Certainly Carston's parents – (dad?) doesn't love him any less than our dads do us!
"I don't know what I'd do without all you guys!" said Carston, still woodenly, but maybe softening a bit. Thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Tragg! I don't know why some people are so – reasonable and others - "
"We just know that both our boys - "
"They're men now, Chrissy!" Said my dad.
"We know you MEN tried your best – when you were boys – to like girls. You just seem to be programmed differently, I guess. But we still love you more than life!"
When Mom said that, I noticed a tear at the corner of both Carston's eyes.
"I guess the good news is that you'll actually live closer to ME, now." said Mike.
"Yeah – I guess." Said Carston. He saw the bite out of Nick's burger. "Geez, Graciano, is your meat even cooked?"
"It's seared on both sides!" he said almost defensively. "Mr. Tragg knows how I like `em!"
At that, Jeremy showed him his own burger. "You too? What are you guys – a couple vampires?"
Everyone laughed. He was the only one of the guys that didn't yet know about them. My parents didn't either. I knew that someday – soon - I'd have to tell them.
That night, I was alone in my bed. I expected any moment to hear that rushing sound, as Nick drifted in my window. Maybe that's what started the idea of vamps being able to change to bats. That's what it sounds like when a bat is nearby – almost like – "What was that?" it's more like a feeling - than a sound – just like it is with a bat.
Finally I drifted off to sleep, disappointed and – wondering what the vamps were up to. I sat bolt up in bed. What WERE the vamps up to??! I went back to sleep and had what seemed like troubled dreams all night. I couldn't remember anything in particular and woke up to my alarm, feeling like I was drugged. I definitely didn't get enough sleep!
I picked up Mike for school. He really didn't need me to any more, but – well, after all – he's my best friend. Of course we still had mostly all the same classes, so I noticed that he seemed to be down for some reason. While walking out to my car after classes, "What's bugging you, Mike? You've seemed bummed all day."
"I'm okay – I guess. I just keep thinking about Carston over at your house now – sleeping in the bed I want to be in!"
"You want to be in my brother's bed – I thought you and Carston - "
"Sigh! You're right. I meant I want Carston to be in MY bed – not across town in someone else's! I really am not sure any more WHAT I want!"
"I know the feeling!" I commiserated.
His head snapped up to me. "Of COURSE you do! What happened? We used to be best friends."
"I hope we still are."
"What happened between you and me?" said Mike
"You did."
"Hunh?"
"You never would give yourself to me. Then Nick came into the picture and – then you started playing with my brother and Carston, and - "
"I never played with your brother!"
"It looked like it from where I stood."
Mike stopped walking and hung his head. "Growing up is so hard!" he said. "And just about the time you think you're a grown-up – it gets harder!"
"Something like that!"
"I just want to go home and veg out in the hot tub!"
"Okay if I join you?"
"Duh!"
When I wheeled my car around the corner to Mikes house, my brother's car was at the curb.
Mike and I heard some muted voices coming from the hot tub. We dropped our books and stuff in his room and headed out there.
We shed our clothes at the hot tub door – as usual – and stepped in. My brother was there with Carston. So were Nick and Jeremy! At first, I thought this was a nice surprise. But – something felt - - wrong.
"Hey, Nicky!" I said, expecting him to get up and hug me and change places with Jeremy. He did neither. It seemed that Mike was experiencing the same thing.
There was quiet for about 15 seconds. The soft pumping sounds of the filtration system seemed to be humming extra loud.
"We need to talk." Said both Nick and Carston in unison. "You first." Said Nick.
"I – I am really – um – sorry – um Mike." said Carston. "I just feel like I've been swept up in some kind of whirlwind or something. I've been thinking a lot since being thrown out by my dad. I don't think I'm ready for a steady – or really – any relationship – right now."
Mike looked at Carston for another 10 – 15 seconds. "SIGH! I'm really not surprised, Cars. I've had a strange feeling all day." Mike said, looking like he was devoid of feeling. He looked at me, and something passed between us that I really didn't get – something – almost – electric(?)
Just like that, it was eerily quiet again. "I guess it's my turn." Said Nick. He stood and came up close to me. "Kye – Baby – I have given this a lot of thought too and – I even made Jerry stay in the guest room last night. Kye – I can't be with you. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. Please don't blame Jerry. I just decided – on my own – I can't be with you – while Jer and I have so much in common!"
He looked from eye to eye, expecting – I don't know what. I gave a quick glance over at Mike. Tears were streaming down his face – and he was – grinning! My brother was grinning too! Then Kevin said, "Kye – Baby brother – I always knew that you should be with Mike! Don't you agree?"
I looked at Mike and his head seemed to be nodding – up and down – ever so slightly. I doubt he even knew he was doing it. I stood there, looking from Nick to Jeremy, then to Kevin and when I looked at Mike, the tears started to flow and we rushed each other and started to kiss and hug like I always wanted to – and by Mike's ardor, I guess he felt the same. "Kye," said Mike, "can you ever forgive me for being so dense?"
"Just shut the hell up and kiss me again!" I said laughing.
I looked over to my brother. Kevin was still smiling – but also looked like he felt a bit left out. "You okay, Kev?"
"I'm fine, Little Brother." He smiled.
"What're you gonna do now?" I asked, cautiously.
"I've kinda decided that I'm pretty much bi. I want to marry a woman someday and have kids – so you schmucks can at least have some nieces and nephews!" Then he looked at Carston. "And me and Carston may keep in practice `til then, huh, Cars? I'm so toked that you guys found the right partners!"
Four of us said, "ME TOO!"
Note: This is just the beginning for these guys, but they'll have to do it without me from here. Thanks for writing and know my love goes out to all that have written – and even to those who read but didn't write!