As we approached the dorm, I looked up and thought I recognized someone standing on the front steps. As we moved closer, I realized I did know them. Or rather her. It was my Mom!
"Surprise!" she said, holding her arms wide in expectation of a hug.
Oh no! Fuck! This was a surprise, and I didn't think I could handle it.
I mentally shook myself and then stepped in and gave her a hug. She hugged me tightly and I felt another stream of emotions flow through me. I had missed her and felt the same from her in the hug. I also felt guilty for the things I had done. What if she knew?
She released the hug but held me at arms length by the upper arms examining me. She looked me over from head to toe.
She rubbed her hand over the stubble on my head, then reached down and lifted the t-shirt.
"Mom! What are you doing?" I blushed red from embarrassment. My mom was inspecting me in this public area like I was some first grader or something.
"What? I was just checking to see if you were doing that whole sagger thing. But I see you have elected for commando style instead." I blushed again and she chuckled. "What? You don't think your old mom is hip?"
I caught a glimpse of Hank out of the side of my eye, and he was fighting the urge to laugh. Asshole!
"I just, ah, got, ah, back. Mom, don't ask me about that!" I stammered out, all flustered.
"I am just checking up on my son. By the way, I like the buzz cut." She looked at Hank and said, "I guess it is some sort of standard around here."
Ever the gentleman, Hank stuck out his hand and said, "Hello, Mrs. ..." and was cut off.
"Mrs. is for old fuddyduddies. Just call me Ethel as in Merman, not as in alcohol!" I nearly fell over. Where had this woman come from?
"Ethel, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Hank, Kyle's roommate." He shook her hand.
"Thought I would pop in early and surprise you. Also, this way I can take you boys to dinner. Hank, you will join us won't you?"
"Certainly. That would be quite an honor, Ethel." I thought he was laying it on a bit thick. "I think we need to change first. Get some underwear on this boy of yours. I am always trying to dress properly," he said with a wide grin on his face. Undress properly, I thought, and then mentally shook my head again.
"Yes, I think that will be best. I'll just wait here while you change and check out the bulletin board. And no dawdling and no cleaning up the room! I won't do my inspection until after dinner."
Hank smiled and said, "Ethel, that's not necessary; you can inspect is right now. I make Kyle keep the room neat. You know...a place for everything..."
"And everything in its place," she finished, smiling and patting him on the shoulders. "I am sure you don't want me standing around while you boys change. I'll just wait here. But I am glad to hear you are looking out for my Kyley."
Kyley? Where the hell had that come from? And where had this Stepford woman come from? She was acting so cheery. Had she been drinking? I had never her known her to have more than an occasional glass of wine.
Hank looked at me and then turned and headed up the stairs, leaving me alone with my Mom for a minute.
"Mom, what's going on? Are you okay?" I asked with real concern.
"Why? Just because I am here early and being pleasant with your roommate, you think there is something wrong with me?" she asked, and put a pout on her face. I couldn't help but laugh.
"No, it is fine, but it is just different than I had imagined it would be. I don't know." I was trying to cover fast.
"I am just glad to see you happy and enjoying life," she said, and I saw moisture welling in her eyes.
She wiped her face and then patted me on the arm. "Now run along and change." But before I got very far, she said in a stage whisper, "And Kyle, I think your roommate is cute!" I blushed, and ran up the stairs. Where had this woman come from? And what had she done with my mom?
"Mom!" I said, becoming defensive (look at that; I knew when I was being defensive!) about her perceptions of me and of Hank.
I ran upstairs and, when I got to the room, Hank was laughing his ass off. He stood there naked, so each laugh that racked his body shook his dick up and down and back and forth. That made me laugh.
"Asshole! Fuckhead!" I said, and he only laughed more.
"What? Your mom is cute. `Ethel as in Merman, not alcohol.' Where did she pick that up? And you were hilarious, little brother."
"Put some clothes on dickwad." I said, frustrated with him, me, and my mother. This was not going the way I had planned it at all. "And she thinks `you're cute.'"
He laughed as he pulled on some boxers and tossed me a clean pair of his. "Come on, she is trying hard to not be a typical mother hen. She is trying to show you that she is hip' with you being an adult and living your own life. She is probably down there crying because here little Kyley' is growing up." He laughed again.
As I put on my boxers and tried not to blush, once again, I noticed that Hank had moved the beds apart and had them nicely straightened up. He really was amazing. I stopped what I was doing and watched him pull on a polo shirt over his muscular torso. Man, he was cute!
"Asshole," I said, remembering his last comment. He tossed me a pair of nice khaki pants and a polo shirt. I put them on and then wondered what my mom was going to think. I wasn't wearing any of the clothes she had sent me to college with. While I got my clothes and then shoes on, Hank was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and humming the tune to YMCA. Then I heard him choke with laughter and I said, "Serves you right. None of that at dinner. YMCA my ass!"
"What, little brother, I would love to see your ass in the YMCA and show you off to all the guys there."
That made my cock swell which didn't help matters at all. "And I don't think that little brother will fly while she is around. That would be just too much to explain."
"Okay, I'll stick to `Kyley' then." He came out of the bathroom grinning from ear to ear.
"Cum bucket!" I said, as I headed into the bathroom.
"And you kissed your mother with that mouth! Honestly, she is going to think that I am not taking care of you." He paused and then added, "And I think that you hold the record, next to Jimmy, for that privilege," and he started laughing and snorting.
"Asshole!" I said through a mouthful of toothpaste.
I finished up, rinsed my mouth, dried my hands, and went out into the room. "Well, do I pass inspection?" I asked, once again worried about what my mom was going to think.
He walked over and I thought he was going to adjust my shirt or something, but instead he lifted the bottom of my shirt and said, "Yep, no saggers here." Then he cupped my crotch and said, "Well, wait a minute."
"Ass bite!" I said, laughing and trying to adjust myself as well.
Downstairs, mom was still studying the bulletin board. "Find anything interesting, Ethel?" Hank asked.
She jumped, a bit startled, and answered, "Well, I see where the art department is offering a considerable amount for people who will model for the classes. Kyle that might be a way for you to pick up some extra money."
I choked, and Hank laughed, and then smothered it. "Mom, you have to pose, ah, naked for those classes," and, once again, I blushed. If she only knew.
"And that's a problem because?" She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "A handsome young man like you; I am sure that they would all like to see you naked."
"Mom!" I said, shocked.
"What, Kyle? Afraid you couldn't control yourself?" she asked, with a great look of innocence on her face.
"MOM!" I said, and Hank did laugh at that.
She looked at me again, from head to toe. "You clean up right nice. I think that Hank is a good influence on you. Don't you think, Hank?"
"I do my best with what I've been given," he said, pointing towards me.
I sent him a mental `Asshole!' and a scowl.
"Come on, boys," she said, linking her arms through ours and leading us out to the parking lot. "Let's get something to eat. You probably are already tied of the stuff they serve you here."
"Ethel, I think Kyle has found several things here that he enjoys eating. And he doesn't seem to be getting tired of any of them." I shot him another look and he fought back a laugh.
"Oh, what is that, Kyle," she asked, as she led us towards a rental car.
I hastily tried to think of something and came up with "Ah, macaroni and cheese and bagels." Hank was snickering.
"That's strange; you never wanted mac and cheese at home. I'll have to see how they make it so I can make it for you when you are home. That is, if you ever come home to visit."
"Mom, it has only been two weeks," I said, with exasperation apparent in my voice.
"I know, I know, I am just kidding. Lighten up a bit."
At the car she said, "Hank, why don't you drive us and that way Kyle and I can catch up on everything. Just find us a good steak place. I am sure you have heard or seen some around here," she said absently, getting into the back seat.
Hank was the epitome of the well refined young man all the way there. He answered questions politely with Yes, Ma'am' or No, Ma'am' and answered all her questions about his family and all. With me she chatted about my uncles and cousins. She talked about how she was getting disgruntled with her church and was thinking of looking for another. That surprised me, as I thought she loved that church. I didn't find out the reasons. She was off on other tangents, touching on this and that. How she was watching Brothers and Sisters, Oprah, Ellen ,and several other talk shows. That also surprised me.
When we got to the restaurant, Hank escorted her in and held the door for her. I looked at him and smiled. Man, I loved this guy. He accepted her right off and was doing his best to charm her.
After we ordered (`Order whatever you want, you won't get the chance too often; right, boys?') she continued on with her no-stop barrage of questions and statements and comments. Only this time when I answered a question, there was no judgment to the answers.
She asked about my classes. She asked if I was eating right, and I mentioned that Hank was helping me with that. She looked at him and beamed. And did the same when I answered her question about exercise, saying that Hank had me in a daily routine. "It is beginning to show. Good for you," she said, and I didn't sense any malice or hidden innuendos.
Hank excused himself to go to the bathroom. I wanted to go with him, but just watched him leave. When he was out of earshot she said, "He is perfect for you." My mouth dropped, and she said, "He's a perfect roommate for you. He seems like such a nice and thoughtful young man. And he seems to take good care of you." I blushed, and tried to hide my face. What was she trying to say?
I stammered out something like, "Yeah, he does. He helps me study as well," which made it sound like I was really depending on him to get me through. "Not that I don't study. I mean, we just go to the library and study together." Shit, that sounded gay! I was not helping myself.
I was on edge all through dinner, trying to make sure that nothing sounded bad' or queer'. The food was great, but I was not enjoying it as much as I would have liked. I kept looking at Hank when my mother wasn't looking. He would smile and nod his head as if to say, you are doing a great job.
Hank told her about his nutrition philosophy, and she approved and said it would do me good. I agreed, and Hank told her that I was being very good, and eating correctly - most of the time. And then he said, "And I make sure he gets enough protein in his diet as well. Protein is important to a balanced diet."
I choked on the piece of broccoli I was chewing and had to grab the water. Mom looked at me strangely, and then asked if everything was okay. I nodded my head, and tried to swallow and cough at the same time. I managed to get my hand in front of my mouth before I sprayed them both with green bits. Asshole!
She insisted that we get dessert, and Hank agreed that we could split one and it wouldn't be too bad. When the strawberry shortcake arrived, we took turns taking forkfuls. I would have loved to have fed it to him, but couldn't do that. She ate her warm brownie sundae - well at least a third of it.
My stomach was still clenching as we left the restaurant. Hank had even offered to pay for the dinner. What a guy! But I still was waiting for something to go wrong, and for me to say the wrong thing. And it was driving me crazy.
On the way home, my mom kept up her running commentary and questions. I didn't know half the people she was talking about, but I said `yes' at the appropriate places.
Back at the dorm, Hank made an excuse to come up later to allow us time alone in the room, which I was not looking forward to. As the elevator reached our floor, I began to panic that we would run into either someone walking along naked, or make a comment about why I was wearing clothes.
I was nervous, and felt the sweat trickle down from my armpits. I stuck my head out when the elevator doors opened and scanned the hallways. "Any naked guys out there?" my mom asked.
I wiped my forehead and shook my head. I couldn't speak. I led her down to the room. Inside, she commented on how neat everything was. She picked out my desk and I felt panic, as I was afraid she was going to sit down and scan the hard drive, searching for jpg files. Not that she would have known anything about that. But I could just imagine some TV show telling her she should do that.
She opened the bathroom door and checked it out, and then the closets. "The shower is down the hall?" she asked.
Well, duh! I wanted to say, but instead nodded. She sat down in my desk chair and motioned for me to sit in Hank's. She got a very serious look on her face and asked, "Kyle, is everything really okay? How's everything going? You know you can tell me anything. I am still going to love you no matter what. I want us to be able to talk about anything. I want you to know that I am here for you, and if there is anything you need or need to talk about, please let me know."
I was very emotional. This was so sweet and caring of her, and so atypical of her. She had never wanted to talk about anything, other than superfluous things: the weather, what was for dinner, how was school. She had never asked about school. Really asked. I would have loved to have told her about the teasing and bullying in high school. And she never asked about my friends, not that I had any.
Now she was showing interest in Hank and me, and what was going on.
I didn't know how to respond. It was my chance to tell her about me and my decisions. But I couldn't just blurt it out. I shook my head, because I couldn't say anything around the lump in my throat. I thought this was so thoughtful of her and so different for her.
"Are you sure?" Now she is persistent after all those years of easy dismissal.
I nodded again, not able to talk.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I ran the water to cover the sounds of me blowing my nose and taking a leak. I flushed, washed my hands, and went back into the room.
I sat once again in Hank's chair, and took her through my classes and the projects and reports that I had to do. I discussed reading assignments and all.
"And how are you liking your photography class?" she asked, and I gulped again.
"It is one of my favorite classes. I really enjoy it." I didn't know why, but saying this got me emotional. It is my favorite class and means so much to me. And that has nothing to do with the modeling I do. I like working with the contrasts of lights and textures. And the digital camera was so near and dear to me.
I cleared my throat and tried to continue. "I mean, it is something I always wanted to do. I have been working and saving money. I bought a digital camera and try to get new pictures every day."
I think she sensed my enjoyment and said, "Can I see some of your work?"
I moved over and with shaky hand, took the mouse and navigated to my photo class folder, thankful that my `other' pictures were in a different directory. I opened up one photo in the view so that it was easy to cycle through them.
She took great care in going through them and examining them. She would talk about points in each picture that she liked or had questions about. There was a picture of Hank there. He was dressed, but still looked sexy. He was backlit by sunlight through a window and there was great texture on his skin and clothes. He had his typical mystic smile. My heart swelled at the sight of him. I wished he was here now. He seemed to have a more even keel in these family things.
"He does seem like such a nice young man. You are lucky to have him as a friend." She looked at me as she said this.
"Yes, he treats me like a brother," I said automatically, then added, "I mean, he has lots of brothers, and I don't, so he shows me things and helps me with things like a brother."
"Yes, it seems you two have become very close," she said, and clicked onto the next picture.
I wondered if she suspected something. Was she probing for something? I cleared my throat and said, "Yeah, he is great to be around." I thought about saying something like, he has a girlfriend or something, to show he was straight and she wouldn't get any ideas.
And as if reading my mind, she said, "And are you seeing any cute girls?"
"Mom!" I said, shocked once again. "I have been too busy with school and all," I hedged. Was she fishing for something?
She continued looking through the pictures, commenting on each.
There was a pounding on the door and my heart raced. Oh, shit, who could that be? I nervously went to the door and opened it slightly. It was Jimmy and Jared! And they were just in their boxers and t-shirts. I had only opened the door a crack. Jimmy looked me up and down quickly and said, "Have you got someone..."
And I cut him off, "My mom is visiting," I said in a rush.
My mom said, "More of your friends? Invite them in; I would like to meet them."
While I was trying to get rid of them, "I'll check in with you guys later, okay?"
Jared nodded and smiled, as if he completely understood. I closed the door and went back to the desk. My mom said, "They couldn't come in? I want to meet your friends."
I wanted to say they weren't dressed for it, but couldn't figure out how to do that. "No, they were just looking for Hank," as if he was the popular one; trying to take attention off of me.
"Oh," she said, and then continued, "These are beautiful. You should be very proud of yourself." She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You know that I am proud of you, but what is more important is that you are proud of yourself and what you accomplish." Where was all this parental expertise coming from? Why couldn't she have been this way during high school? And why did it change in just 2 weeks.
"Mom, what's up with you? You are being so... so different. I don't know. I like it, but this is so different from the 'you' that I left 2 weeks ago." I looked at her to watch her expression.
"What? A mother can't show concern and interest in her son without being considered strange?" Her brow wrinkled with concern as she waited for my response.
"No, of course you can. You just want to be so involved in me and what I am doing, and if I have friends, and school and all. Don't get me wrong, I think it is nice, but I don't know, just so different."
"Well, I see they still need to work on your English a bit; all those `and's in that sentence!" She smiled.
But then I saw her eyes fill again; she reached over and took my hands in hers. "Kyle, I am just trying to be there for you."
She swallowed. and removed one hand to wipe her eyes. She looked around for a tissue and I handed her the box from Hank's desk. She blew her nose and, after throwing the used tissue in the wastebasket, took my hands back in hers.
She took a deep breath and released it. "Kyle, your cousin, Harold, you know my sister Maud's boy?" I vaguely remembered mention of them, but not someone who I had ever visited with. They lived on the opposite side of the country. She swallowed again. "He tried to commit suicide." She was crying now.
I started to ask why, or to console her, or something, but she continued on, "They got there in time and he is doing fine. But why I am telling you this is that it turns out he's gay and he couldn't face telling his parents, or they didn't accept it when he did. I haven't gotten that part straight, but I felt so terrible about it and it made me worry about you." She looked up at me expectantly.
"What? I am fine, mom," I said, too quickly and very nervously. Where was she going with this?
"Kyle, I am trying in my own stupid, dumb parental way to tell you that I am fine with you being gay." Tears welled in her eyes again, and I sat there with my jaw dropping.
"Mom, I am not gay," I said, again too quickly.
"Kyle, are you being truthful with me and yourself? I should have known. Now that I have been reading about it and studying, I see that I should have seen it sooner. And, Kyle, I am fine with it. I have said I will always love you, no matter what."
"Mom, I am not ..." she put her hand on my lips.
"Kyle, if you aren't, that is fine, too. But before you say it again, please be honest with me and yourself. It is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to fear. I love you, and it doesn't matter to me. I just want you to be happy."
Emotions racked me. My own eyes filled up and, with quivering lips, I said, "Ah, Mom." Then I had to stop and swallow the huge lump that constricted my throat. Then I could only nod.
She reached out and wrapped her arms around me and I hugged back. She sat there rocking me back and forth, as we both wept with emotion. My mom was accepting me! My mom knew! It was wonderful; it was amazing, and it was too much.
We sat there for a long time, letting it all out with no words, just touching and sobs.
I heard the door open and Hank walk in. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll come back."
I cleared my throat and said, "No, stay."
Hank looked at me strangely. "You sure?"
I nodded, and motioned for him to come over. When he was close I took his hand and squeezed it. Then with tears streaming down my face, but full of love and joy said, "Mom, Hank is my boyfriend." And then I paused, looked at him ,and said, "My lover."
Not much sex in this chapter, but it is important in moving the story along. Comments, suggestions, pictures and ideas are always welcome --harryrod575@yahoo.com
Have fun
harry