I really needed to learn to control myself. I thought of Hank then and remembered we were going to a frat party this evening. I wondered what it would be like and would it have any of the things that I had heard about? Would I see naked frat guys pissing in beer bottles? Would I see them jerking off over a pizza and the loser having to eat it?
Shit! I was getting hard and it was becoming more and more difficult to concentrate on anything in the classroom. Fuck! I had to read that information Marshall had given me!
I tried to concentrate, but I began to see Hank naked, posing for me in the scaffolding as I had just done, but I had him in more suggestive poses, and that just got me more horny!
I shook my head and wrote down the assignment that was on the board. I just finished when everyone was packing up and leaving. I packed my stuff and, with my pack in front of me hiding my tent, I walked up to the professor. He was talking to a couple of students about something he had covered in class, clarifying for them I guess. I had no idea what he was talking about.
When they left, he turned his attention to me. "Ah, the daydreamer. Care to enlighten me on what had captured your attention?"
I blushed and tried to stammer out something. He waved that aside, asked my name, which I managed to get out. He checked his records and then looked at me. "Set your pack down there." He pointed to the table next to his podium. I hesitated, and couldn't figure out how not to do that. But in moving over to place the pack, I managed to conceal my crotch behind the podium.
"Stand over here! Don't hide behind that thing!" he instructed, and I moved over, pressing against the table to trap my cock.
"You really do seem to have issues. Here, where I can talk to you." He pointed to the place at his side. I blushed and moved over, my tent becoming obvious.
"I see. You do have other things on you mind, or minds. No wonder you can't concentrate." I blushed and fought back embarrassment.
"I see on you records here that you are in counseling with Marshall." He looked up at me and I fought to keep an even demeanor and eye contact. Things were piling up here and I felt the weight of all these issues. I knew Marshall had sent out a note to all my professors, but I didn't know it was going to pop up like this.
"Obviously, there is something he is working on with you. Is this part of the issues?" He said, indicating my crotch. "No, I am sorry, that is insensitive of me and it is not my business. But you must learn to concentrate while in class." He seemed flustered.
"You have done well, so far, in class. And I understand that a young man during his first couple of weeks of college can get distracted by the young people surrounding them. I have seen it happen before. Usually not so obviously, but I have seen the effects." He gave a grimace. "Talk to Marshall about this. He might suggest that you, um, relieve yourself prior to class, so that you can focus better, or something. I am sure that if you talk this through with him, he will have some suggestions."
He looked at me and then said, "Unless you want me to mention it to him for you?"
"No, no, that's okay." I said quickly. "I'll talk to him about it. I am very sorry." I was stammering and flustered.
He seemed to become nervous as well. "Okay, then you have your assignments, get them done, and pay attention in class." He actually patted me on the shoulder as he let me grab my pack and pushed me towards the door.
I headed down the hall and stopped at the men's room. I thought about what Marshall said, and then the professor. I went into one of the stalls and sat down my pack and then pulled down my shorts. I sat down on the toilet and took hold of my cock. Fuck, that felt so good! I was so horny and this felt so familiar to me.
This is what I had done regularly, until I met Hank. I closed my eyes and stroked a couple of times. I moaned and that's when I realized that there was someone in the stall next door. I stopped stroking and removed my hand. My cock ached for attention, but I sat and listened.
I didn't hear any plops, farts or anything else. Was the guy just sitting there? I had heard the toilet paper dispenser spin, but I didn't hear any additional movement. Paranoia swept over me. I thought, he is waiting to hear me jerking off and then he is going to stick a camera over the top of the stall and take a picture of me!
I stood up and in the same motion pulled up my shorts. I stuffed my cock into my waistband, grabbed my pack, slipped out of the stall and made it fast for the door. I pulled the door open and then thought for a moment. I let the door shut and stood inside very quietly. I looked at the shadow on the floor of the guy in the stall.
Now that he thought he was alone, I could see the unmistakable shadow of him jerking his cock. I smiled to myself. He was so much like me! Or how I had been before meeting Hank. I was always so furtive in my jack off sessions, always fearing the guy in the next stall was a policeman that was going to arrest me, so I never tried to engage another man. This guy seemed to be of the same mold.
I had an evil thought. I pulled open the door and with a deep bass voice said, "What's going on in here?" and then left the restroom. The guy probably had a heart attack and I could imagine his confusion as he waited and listened for what happened next. I started laughing. I was so mean! I would have died if someone did that to me while I was jerking off.
I was torn between going back in and apologizing or not. I stood outside for another minute thinking about it. I had done something terrible, but I didn't know how to make up for it. I started to go back in when the door opened and a nervous looking guy blitz past me. He looked panicked and hardly even looked at me as he pushed by me.
I thought about saying something but didn't know what was right. I just told myself I would have to share this with Hank. And probably Marshall, too, I thought after a moment.
My phone buzzed and I looked down and saw a text message from Hank. "Library?"
I texted back, "Now?"
He sent back "Y 3RD"
"K", and then I headed off to the library. I was looking forward to seeing Hank.
As I hurried over to the library, I thought of some of the things I was missing with Hank. We hadn't done our running in a couple of days, or situps, and I hadn't gotten to practice walking on my hands. So much had happened and taken me away from those daily things. All this time with Marshall, and all of the time I have spent worrying and fussing and all, have detracted from that.
And I have to do something about being so horny! I smiled as I thought of that, and climbed the steps to the third floor. I thought of the things Hank and I had done right here in the library, and my cock, which had gone down with all my introspection, began to stir.
On the third floor, I looked around for Hank and found him setup in two carrels at the end of two longs stacks of books. I put my stuff down, pulled out the chair and sat down. Hank was smiling at me as I sat. When I was sitting, he leaned in and brushed his lips across my cheek, squeezed my shoulders and whispered, "I missed you."
My heart melted, and I felt emotions roll over me once again. Man, he could affect me. I managed a "me too," as I looked into his eyes.
He sat back and said in low tones, "So how has your day been?"
I let it all tumble out; my meeting with Marshall, my daydreaming problems, my prof discovering the reason for my distraction, my incident in the men's room. All through it Hank listened and gripped my forearm. He seemed to sense the intensity of my emotions more this way. His smile broadened until his teeth shown through when I told about the men's room.
"Hank, we are the same age and you seem to be much more sexually aware and active than I ever was. How do you keep from thinking about sex all the time? How come you aren't constantly hard? Don't you daydream about stuff we do together?" I thought I would blush with the last comment, but didn't.
He chuckled and said, "Follow me." I did and we ended up on a smoker's balcony off the third floor. It was vacant and we could talk without having to whisper. The sun felt good and the slight breeze kept the temperature down a bit.
"Look, Kyle, I have been doing stuff with guys since I was 11. And that was not with my brothers. There was this kid, Bruce, who lived two doors down from us, who was the same age as I was. We were inseparable. We were always in the same classes and rode the bus to school together. We did everything together.
"Because there was not a lot of space at our place, I stayed over at his house more often than he stayed at mine. He was an only child and had his own room. So growing up together and spending so much time together, we saw each other naked often. It was no big deal; it was just part of everyday life. Come in from playing, take a bath together, change clothes, etc.
"So naturally, when we started sprouting hair in all the normal spots, we spent time exploring the changes. I knew about sex, not just from the school classes, but from my parents. They made sure I understood the basics and what was going to happen to my body. They explained about wet dreams and jerking off, except my dad started out calling it masturbating'. He switched to jacking off' and `boners' about half way through the discussion.
"He explained that every boy did it and that there was nothing wrong with it and to never feel guilty about it. We had the discussion about porn a couple of years later, which I told you about. I had even walked in on my brother's doing it, so it wasn't anything mysterious or anything.
"So I explained all about it to Bruce and we learned about the rush of orgasm before we could actually shoot anything. When I was 11, I shot my first load, and he was so jealous. I think he `practiced' every day to see if he could shoot as well. He did about a month or so later." I listened with rapt attention as he recounted his youth and his sexual awakening. It was so different from mine and it was what I now wished mine would have been like.
"From then on, we did it every afternoon after school. Of course, I did it at home as well, and my brother's ribbed me good naturedly when they would walk in on me jerking off." He smiled, as if he remembered a specific occasion.
"My dad even talked with me about it and explained about using different techniques and using both hands. He said, you never know what is going to please your partner and you don't know how they are going to pleasure you. He explained that the greater the range of stimulation the more pleasure I would have as I grew up.
"In high school, I was in sports, just like my brothers before me. I had to keep up the family image. My brothers made it tough for me, yet they made it easy. I mean, I got on every team because of my last name, but I had to live up to their accomplishments and do as well, if not better than they had.
"Often they were on the same team as I was, so there was kidding and ribbing because I was the younger brother. There was the usual towel slapping in the locker rooms, and the comparisons to my brothers about my size, hair, height, length of my dick, etc.
"I got to know a group of freshman guys, which included Bruce. We hung around together. We talked about girls and fucking and sex all the time, just like any other guy our age.
He smiled again, recollecting something. "We were out skinny dipping at the river one time and, while sunning and drying off, the topic turned once again to sex. It wasn't the first time I had seen some of the guys with a hard on; I mean it happens all the time to guys that age." He stopped and looked at me, shook his head, and continued on.
"Anyway, one thing led to another and we all started jerking off together. Someone, probably me, "he laughed, "said, `Hey, it's something we all do, right? So why don't we just do it together?'"
"There was some nervous laughter, but I gripped my cock and started stroking. Bruce followed along, and then they all said, `what the fuck, why not,' and joined in. It became at least a weekly ritual from then on. Each week some guy had to come up with a sexual exploit to share to get everyone in the mood, not that it took much!" he chuckled.
"I think we all knew that the stories were made up, adventures we wished we were having. I mean we eventually all got to go out with girls, and got hand jobs, and then eventually scored. Some more than others." He laughed again, obviously remembering his own experiences. If he didn't elaborate, I would have to ask him about that.
He looked at me and his smile broadened. "Yes, I had my share of girls throughout high school. They were always trying to hook up with the top jocks. And yes, before you asked, I did well in sports, eventually becoming the quarterback, the basketball team captain, and the slugger for the baseball team."
I shook my head, it was so different than my high school life.
"And yes, I had my spontaneous hard-on as did every guy in high school, but it seemed like less of them because one way or another I was getting sexual release with other people." Then he stopped and thought.
"Someplace along in there, Bruce and I tried sucking and found out how great it was. We didn't think it made us gay or anything; we just considered it part of our explorations. We eventually introduced it into our circle jerks. A couple of guys wouldn't go for it and eventually left our group and a couple others joined.
"Someplace in my senior year, I convinced Bruce to let me fuck him. I had done girls, but wanted to try it with a man. He hesitated, until we made the agreement that we always ended up with, you do me and then I'll do you."
Hank looked at me with that special smile that I felt was reserved for me. "And you know how amazing that is. And I know you don't have the experience of doing it with a woman, but with a man it is so much better."
"Anyway, he did me, and I didn't like it as well as giving, and he liked taking it. Along there somewhere, my brother's brought me into their sexual exploits and so I got a lot of sex in high school.
"All this is to tell you that you are torn between the routine of your own self pleasure and the experience of sex with someone else." He looked down and saw the tent in my shorts.
He moved up closer to me, reached inside my waistband and gripped my cock. I sighed and pushed up into his hand. "I want you to have the pleasure of cumming whenever you want." He squeezed my cock tightly and I moaned again.
"But you have to be able to concentrate. I would have thought that as much sex as you have had over the last couple of days that you would be able to go an hour or so without having to cum!" He laughed as he saw my expression.
"Am I going to have to meet you between each class and give you a blow job, a hand job, or a quick fuck to get your mind in gear for class?" He stroked my cock; I closed my eyes and pictured him fucking me in the stall of the men's room. I pumped into his hand and moaned again. I leaned in closer to him and gripped his shoulders.
I moaned a `yes,' and he laughed. He released my cock, withdrew his hand, and stepped back a couple of steps.
"Take it out," he said, and I was mesmerized once again. I reached down, pushed my shorts out of the way, and freed my cock over the top of the shorts. I looked him in the eye as I took it in my hand and squeezed.
"You want to cum?" he asked, looking into my eyes. I could only nod and stroke my cock.
"And you don't have an issue that you are out on a public balcony off of the library in the afternoon sun?" That gave me pause. I looked back over my shoulder at the glass door behind me. There was no one there, but someone could come through it at any minute.
"You want to stand there and jerk off while I watch over your shoulder to see if anyone is coming?" He laughed, "Coming while you are cumming?"
I was lost in lust again and could only nod. He reached over, pulled my balls ou,t and rolled them in his hand. I closed my eyes and groaned.
He chuckled again, removed his hand and said, "Go for it." I opened my eyes and saw the smile on his face. He nodded his head and I began to pound my cock. I wanted to cum so badly and so quickly that I pumped madly while squeezing tightly.
My breath became ragged quickly and I began to pant through clenched teeth as I felt the rush build. It was going to hit me fast! My eyes rolled up and I felt my toes curl as I was overwhelmed with the release. There was a long stream of released air between the clenched teeth as I shot rope after rope onto the cement of the balcony.
I nearly lost my balance as I squeezed out the last drops and opened my eyes. Hank was smiling. His eyes rose from my cock to my face. His eyes twinkled and his smile broadened as he said, "Feeling better?"
I nodded my head as I shook the last drops off the end of my cock and then stuffed my cock and balls back into my shorts. I leaned in then and kissed Hank on the lips. When I moved away, I whispered, "Thank you."
"Well, do you think you should thank the 2 guys and a gal that are standing behind you enjoying the show?" I whirled in a panic, and Hank laughed as I saw that there was no one there.
"Asshole!" I said.
Hank laughed. "You have to learn to take life less seriously. If you had told me that, I would have turned, taken a bow, and said, `My pleasure,' and if anyone had been there they would have laughed at my double entendre." He laughed as he saw the shocked look on my face.
"And I would have said to your prof, `Yeah, I am as horny as a rabbit, wanna see?' and held out the waistband of my shorts for him to look if he wanted to."
I shook my head. "I wish I could be that cool and ready for a comeback," I once more thought enviously.
He rubbed the stubble on my head and said, "You'll get there. Just keep hanging with me and my brothers and you'll catch on real quick. You just lacked someone to practice your comebacks on. In our house, it seemed to go on all the time. And in the group of guys that I hang out with as well."
He put his arm on my shoulders and led me back inside. "Tonight at the frat party, you will probably get a chance to hear lots of put-downs and come backs. And I am sure Jim, Jared, and Mikail will be glad to work with you on it. It just seems to be part of the growing up process that most," he nudged me, "guys go through. We just have to work on your education a bit."
Back at the carrels, he said in a whisper, "Now can you concentrate and get some work done?" I nodded and he said, "Good, let's work until dinner, grab something to eat, get a bit more done, and then head over to this frat party with Jared."
I sat down, opened my pack, got out my laptop, ipod and notes, and began to work. I was able to stick with it, with only occasional forays into sexual fantasies about Hank and the Frat party. I would smile at an image, shake my head, and go back to work.
At one point I looked up and Hank was absorbed in his work. I looked around the library and pictured myself with Hank here and what I had done. I couldn't imagine that I had actually pissed and jerked off in the stacks! I shook my head and went back to work.
Hank poked me with a sharpie and I looked up, "You going to study all night or you want to grab some dinner?" I checked my phone to see the time and saw that we had been working for hours. I pulled off my headphones, turned off my ipod and said, "You bet your hard beautiful ass!"
Hank actually snorted as he laughed, "Hard and beautiful in the same sentence? We are definitely going to have to work on your vocabulary."
We packed up our stuff and headed down to the commons for dinner. I walked behind Hank, enjoying the view of his `hard beautiful' ass as he shuffled down the steps. I smiled and had to agree that I needed to work on my comments.
At the bottom of the steps, I caught up with Hank and we walked out. He was telling me about the project he was working on. I told him about mine. At the commons, I asked Hank to pick out my food and had to tell him how I had felt weighted down by the food I had eaten this morning.
He laughed and put some stuff together for me and we ran our cards through the machine. We found a spot and sat down. I dove in and relished the combination of tastes that Hank had assembled for me.
Steamed broccoli and shrimp, carrots and cucumbers, whole grain muffin and skim milk; it was all good. The carrots and cucumbers were tangy and crunchy, in some sort of vinegary sauce. All of the textures and tastes were somewhat new and strange to me. I mean I had tasted some of this before, but not in this combination.
"Slow down there, little brother." Hank said, laughing around a morsel of food. "Set your fork down between bites. Enjoy your food and chew it well, all of this will improve the way your body processes the food."
I realized that half my food was gone! I took a bite and put my fork down and chewed, watching Hank eat. I loved the way the muscles in his jaw moved when he chewed. He had to have a low body fat percentage. I wanted to look like him! And his brothers!
"So when you came to the university, did you know you were gay?" I asked, before I put the next bite in my mouth.
He choked around his food, and laughed. He finished chewing and smiled. "No, I kind of felt I was bi. I didn't think I even `liked' guys. It was just something to relieve sexual tension; a thing guys did when they couldn't get a girl. I didn't feel bad about it; I just thought it was just part of a guy growing up."
He put another bite in his mouth and chewed, all the while smiling while he chewed.
"I came here thinking I was going to be in charge, be the macho jock, BMOC. My brothers hadn't preceded me here, so I had nothing I had to live up to. I was going to not put up with any shit from other freshmen. I mean I was thinking, `I know I used to be the big fish in the small pool of high school, and didn't want to be a little fish in this huge bowl of college.
"I guess it was a bit of errant behavior, because I couldn't pull it off. I guess the way I was raised overcame that momentary aberration. I mean, that note I left you was pretty obnoxious. Then I met you and you were so naïve and vulnerable and cute." He looked at me and his smile broadened.
"Yeah, but why would you feel that way? I mean you had it all, and are a seemingly well adjusted jock. What made you want to be so, so obnoxious?"
I think it was the first time I saw him blush. He looked chagrinned and finished swallowing. "That, my little brother, is a long story." He swallowed again and said, "The short version is there was this girl who dumped me for another guy. I found it difficult to accept. My brother's really were there for me and my folks as well.
"I don't know; it just didn't fit. I couldn't imagine why she would want this other guy. It may have been that I secretly didn't want to be with her or any girl." He looked at me and smiled again. "I guess I was confused and wanted to take it out on everyone else."
He chuckled and said, "I guess I am not the well adjusted guy everyone thinks I am." He took another bite of lunch and smiled as he chewed it.
"There is something dark in that head of yours," I couldn't believe I was saying this, "and I am sure that when it is time, you will tell me the whole story."
I was shocked to see water glistening in his eyes. He swallowed and said, "Yeah, I'll tell you one of these days. I owe that to you and have promised that I would not ever have any secrets from you and that you can ask me anything. Anything. I mean that. I appreciate that you are giving me a bit of time on this. But I promise I will tell you everything."
I found it strange to be on this side of this conversation, because it sounded like something I would say to him, and to Marshall as well. I could only nod, not trusting my voice.
He changed the subject and talked about foods and how his family had taught him all about nutrition as he grew up. It was interesting, but I knew he had shifted the conversation on purpose.
When he finished eating, he said, "Well, let's get back to the library and get more of these projects completed." He smiled and added, "And then we will take you to your first frat party!"
That made images flash through my mind of what I imagined would happen at this party. Would I standout in this group? Would they make fun of me? How would I fit in? How would Hank fit in? I wasn't worried about him finding someone else; I was feeling pretty confident about our relationship after I had heard him telling both his brother and Marshall how he felt. I smiled. Hank might have his hidden side, but I was happy to have him the way he was. I couldn't imagine that he wanted me, with all the things I needed to resolve, but I was happy that he accepted me for what I was and was willing to work with me.
Thoughts of Hank jerking me off on the balcony of the library swam through my mind, and I grinned and watched Hank's ass bunch and flex as he walked out of the commons. This was going to be a crazy evening!
Thanks for your patience, guys. As always comments, suggestions and photos of the guys are appreciated. harryrod575@yahoo.com
have fun
harry