I smiled to myself as I hung up my robe and stepped into the showers. My life seemed be constantly evolving and changing. And it seemed to be changing for the better all the time. But what was up with that wild sex animal that came out while fucking Mikail? Where did that come from?
I watched Hank shower as I washed myself. I loved the way he worked over his body with the wash cloth and soap. I was soaping my cock and balls as I watched, and found that I was growing as I watched. I started to call Hank's attention to my condition, when a guy walked into the shower. I turned my back to him and rinsed myself down, trying to will myself to go soft.
I looked over my shoulder and, when the guy had his back to me, I turned around and looked him up and down. It was the guy with tattoos. They fascinated me - the permanent marks on his body. Did it hurt? Why did he do it? I was going to have to ask Hank about it. I noticed, as he moved again, that he had one on his left butt cheek. It was a flaming star. My cock stirred as I thought of having someone do that to my ass, having to lay exposed while someone worked on my ass.
Hank saw where I was looking and the reaction it caused. He shook his head, smiled, turned off his water, and grabbed his towel. I followed and soon had my towel covering myself, so it wasn't so obvious how I had reacted to this guy's body.
Hank patted me on the ass again as we headed over to the sinks. I looked at him in the mirror as we brushed our teeth. He smiled and shook his head at me. He stood there without his towel, smiling at me. He looked at my crotch in the mirror and I felt myself blush again.
He knew so much about me; it was like he was reading my mind. He knew that looking at his cock was turning me on and that I was thinking about what it tasted like! And he knew how it would affect me. Damn him! I smiled and thought to myself, man I like this guy!
After I brushed my teeth, I put my robe on and tied it, as I had been thinking about Hank too much and had begun to swell. Hank, of course, left his untied, and I followed him back to our room. In the room, we put away our stuff and hung up the robes.
He had me do my pullups then, and I thought of how he had rubbed against me the first time I had done these. I lost all concentration then as the blood rushed to my dick. He laughed and stood in front of me once again. I pulled up while he placed his hands on my hips and helped me lift up a bit. I got through 10 and then just hung there.
That night, after getting some course work done, Hank started something new. As we lay in bed together, his arms wrapped around me, he asked me what I thought of the photo shoot and more specifically the sex.
We had talked a bit about it, but he really wanted me to tell him everything I felt and thought about it. I asked if guys really got off on pain, if that was a turn on for some. He told me how he had learned that some guys like the pain, or got pleasure from giving their pain to another.
I didn't understand. "Some guys like to be controlled," he smiled, and patted my shoulder, "so much that they will do anything to please the other guy. And if the one controlling is into hurting, then giving the pain to the one who controls can be a turn on."
I shook my head. "Hurting someone gives other's pleasure?"
He chuckled, "Yeah, there are people out there that really get turned on by inflicting pain. And some more than others. I mean some guys would like to tweak your nipples until you can't take it any more and that get's their dicks hard. Other's will use a whip or a belt on a guy until they bleed and both get hard."
"How do you know so much about this?" I asked, and snuggled back against him.
"I read a lot and my brothers have shared a lot with me." He was quiet for a moment; then, "One came home once with his back and butt covered in welts. We had to take care of them for him and put salve on them. He told us a lot about it."
"Did he ever do it again?"
"No, he figured out it wasn't for him. But he had some friends that were into it."
I shivered, and changed the subject. "And Mikail, do you think he was getting off on it?"
He pulled me closer into him as a result of my shiver and then said, "As I said before, I think he had an awakening tonight. I don't think it was the pain; I think it was the man to man sex. He has probably been in charge and top dog in any situation. He exudes confidence. He probably has had guys come on to him before, and he may have fucked a guy or gotten a blow job, but I think he experienced something completely outside his realm tonight."
He squeezed me again, "You seemed to get off on fucking him. You got a bit wild there yourself!" I wondered about that myself. Hank and I talked about that for a while until I fell asleep.
I had terrible dreams of beatings and being tied down. I guess I thrashed in the bed, because Hank woke me up and was wrapped around me. "Shhhhh, it's alright!" He had his legs and arms wrapped around me. At first I fought him, but once I realized who he was and what was going on, I relaxed.
He relaxed a bit, and then as we laid there , Hank asked what I had been dreaming about. I told him. He held me and said, "You have got it bad don't you?" He held me and then said, "You have got to get to the point where you are not afraid of everything, and get some confidence." He was quiet for a moment and then said, "I am going to have to think about this. I know there is something out there that is going to just click with you and then you are going to get it."
"You really think so?" I couldn't imagine that place.
I laid there and felt Hank's breathing get regular again and slow. He had gone back to sleep. I began to think about life with Hank. What would it be like to visit his family? Would they accept me? That made me think of my Mom and my family.
Would she or they accept me, if they knew I was gay? And if they did, what would they think of Hank? My mind chased those thoughts around for the next couple of hours and I was getting all worked up and worried again. I tried not to fidget too much, because I didn't want to wake up Hank. He needed his sleep.
I managed to slip out of his grasp and off of the bed. I went into our bathroom, closed the door, turned on the light and splashed water on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked closely at my face. I noticed a bit of pale stubble on my face. I saw more on my chest and arms.
I knew I was going to have a bit more before Thursday night's session. My crotch was itchy as well, where it was growing back. I stopped scratching, put my hands on the edge of the sink, and looked at my face closely in the mirror.
This time I looked at me. Did I look different? Could people tell I was gay just by looking at me now? I had read something about gaydar and wondered if I would show up on it.
I turned off the light, opened the door and went back outside. I picked up my ipod and put my earphones in. I selected a playlist and lay down on the other bed, so as not to disturb Hank. I curled up in the blanket and listened to the music. I had picked a list of very eclectic music. A Warren Zevon song came on, "Keep me in your heart for a while." It was written while he was dying of cancer. It was a song to his family to remember him after he had gone.
It was a very emotional song and being in the state I was, I got all wound up in it. What would it be like if I lost Hank? Or was I going to die and leave Hank? Then Clay Aiken singing, "Somewhere out there?" A love song that got to me -- underneath the same big sky. What if I was separated from Hank? What if my mom didn't approve of him or my lifestyle?
Then Paul Simon's "Kodachrome" -- "when I think back on all the crap I learned in high school." I had to laugh.
Melissa Ethridge's "Tuesday Morning," about the gay man on the flight that went down on 9/11. And I was back into emotions again.
Bob Marley's, "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone;" only I heard "when he's gone."
Snow Patrol -- "Chasing Cars" -- `lie here beside you'
John Denver, "Country Roads" - `coming home to a place I had never been before;' I left like this was so much home for me, and I had never been here before.
Simon and Garfunkle -- "Old Friends"
And on and on, until I lay there crying, and wrapped up in the emotions of the songs.
Hank lifted the covers off my head and pulled a headphone from my ear. "What the hell are you doing?" he said, when he saw my face. He yanked the covers off of me. "Are you having bad dreams again?" I shook my head and wiped my face.
"Then what the fuck is going on? Why are you all balled up in the covers crying and listening to music?" He took the Ipod and looked at the song that was playing, "Think a Man Would Know," by Ben Taylor. "What the fuck are you doing?"
It was the first time I had seen him mad at me, and it made me feel worse. "Are you here wallowing in self pity and auditory emotional crap?" He saw how his words were affecting me. "Kyle, little brother, I don't understand." He sat down beside me.
"I hold you when you have a bad dream. I try to build you up. I try to protect you, and here you are listening to crap and bawling your eyes out. I don't understand." He shook his head, but placed a hand on my back. "You are one fucked up dude, little brother. What am I going to do with you?" He smiled.
I wiped my nose and my eyes once again, and sat up. "I am sorry," I said, feeling that much worse. He was right. He was always there for me, and now I was sitting here in an emotional funk!
"Hank, I have to get used to having someone who cares about me. I was so used to being the loner in high school, and it seems that way in the family as well. When we were together with cousins and uncles, I never seemed to know what to say to anyone. I guess I am just used to being a social outcast."
He rubbed my head and said, "I think you are doing pretty good with getting along with people. Jim certainly seems to like you, and Eric can't seem to get enough of you." He smiled and added, "And I think Jim, in the photo department, would like to have a go at you as well."
He saw the look on my face and added, "Yes, some of that might be just as a sex object." He saw a new look on my face. "What, you can't imagine yourself as a sexual being?"
I shook my head. I was so new to this whole sex thing. I really couldn't fathom guys being turned on by me.
"Well, it's true. Not only are you a hot sexual man, but you can interact with people when you don't get all caught up in self doubt and insecurities." He shook his head and continued, "We just went through this on Sunday! And I thought we had made some headway!"
"I am sorry that I am such a mess." I wanted to cry again.
"Look, little brother, get off of your ass and let's get going and put this behind us." He got off the bed and held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up. He pushed me towards the bathroom and then stood beside me while I tried to get my flow going. As soon as I started, Hank started. He had his hand on my back.
He moved his hand down my back as we pissed, until he had it in my crack. I moaned as he circled my hole with his finger. "You see, you are a sexual object that I find wonderful!" I opened my eyes and looked down and saw that he was swelling. I blushed. And I thought I was over that, but Hank continued to expose new things to me.
He continued to finger my hole until I was completely hard and panting. I wanted this and I wanted him so bad. He withdrew his finger and smacked my ass. "So LB, I think you are one hot fucker, and I would fuck you right here if you didn't need to get your exercise in." I saw his face reflected in the mirror, and he had a big smile on it.
I had a difficult time accepting his comments. I mean I had had sex with other guys since meeting him, but I didn't think it was necessarily about me being sexy, but rather as an available dick, hand, mouth or hole. Was he really right, that he thought I was hot and sexy? I looked at myself in the mirror then. I saw that my definition had improved a bit on my muscles, and I turned sideways and, with my back to the mirror, looked over my shoulder. Hank laughed.
"Take my word for it; you are one hot dude, LB."
"LB?" I asked, still looking in the mirror. I still didn't see myself that way.
"LB -- Little brother. I thought some of the guys might not understand if I continued to call you that, and I didn't think you wanted me to address you as my-hot-roommate-that-I-love-to-have-sex-with, every time I wanted to get your attention." He chuckled, and rubbed my head as he saw me blush again.
We went back into the bedroom and got dressed for our run and I said, "Hank," and I paused, "after what you did in the bathroom, I so wanted you to fuck me." I couldn't believe I managed to get that out.
He laughed and said, "You are ready for sex at the glimpse of a guy's cock, ass, hand or foot, much less a touch of my hand on your hole!"
He finished dressing and said, "But I will fuck you if you can beat an 8 minute mile!"
"Shit!" I said. "I haven't made it in less than 10 minutes, so far!"
He laughed and said, "Gives you something to shoot for, doesn't it?"
I followed him down the stairs and outside. He did his warm up jog and then began to pickup speed. I fought hard to keep up with him. I wanted it! But after a bit, I couldn't keep up his pace and I had to slow a bit. I felt hurt, but I knew that he meant well and that I would get there, and, besides, he hadn't said anything about blowing him! That made me chuckle, and I ran as hard as I could. I tried to pace myself.
There were no naked run challenges, but I enjoyed watching the play of his ass in his running shorts. I wanted to taste that ass again!
Back at the dorm after a cool down jog, I was still bent over catching my breath. Hank patted me on the back and said, "Little brother, that was the best yet! You must have hit a 9 minute mile there a one point! Congratulations!"
I nodded my head as I continued to force air into my lungs.
"You know, I got an idea while we were running," he said, as he put his hand on my back. "This afternoon after class, I am going to have something planned for you." He paused and thought, "It might be scary, because it is going to feed on your fears, but it is also going to feed on your lust and horniness." He smiled, and studied my face as I raised it to look at him.
"You trust me now, don't you?" he asked.
I studied his face and thought. He scared me with his talk, but I felt I could believe him and trust him. I nodded my head and then said, "Whatever you think is best."
He slapped me on the back and said, "Way to go, LB!"
We ran up the steps, well he did, taking two at a time. I went a bit slower, but tried to keep up. When I got up to our floor, Hank was standing on his hands and saying, "Hurry up and open the door!"
I opened the door and he walked on his hands to our room. I shook my head at his stamina. His shirt had fallen down, exposing his beautiful abs and chest. I opened the door to our room and he went inside, did a bit of a flip, and stood up smiling.
"Your turn!"
"Yeah, right!" I said.
"No, go ahead and try it. Just try a hand stand against the wall."
I didn't look very optimistic as I moved over and, bracing my hands, flipped up against the wall. My arms quivered and I held it about 20 seconds before collapsing in a heap on the floor. I expected a laugh, but got a "Alright, LB, way to go! You are getting better all the time! We will have you walking down the hall and up the stairs in no time!"
I chuckled at the thought of that, and shook my head. He stripped and got in position to do our sit ups. I untangled myself and did the same. He sat on my feet and started counting for me. I was focusing on the feeling of my feet on his ass instead of sit ups, and I guess I did rather sloppily, because he said, "Focus, little brother," and he smiled.
I blushed and said, "I was; I was focusing on your ass!" He smiled, and wiggled his butt over my toes. His balls rolled over my arches and I had to struggle to concentrate on my task.
I made it further without hitting the difficult spot. But he kept me on task and wouldn't let me cut my number short.
I was really worn out by the time I finished. He laughed at the look on my face. He scooted his feet under my ass and wiggled his toes. I remembered him working a toe into my hole, and began to swell. "No fair, Sir Everhard, distracting me!"
He pumped through his with ease. I loved watching the ripple of his abs as he zipped through his sit ups.
"Alright, shower time, little brother." He paused and then added, "unless you want to do 50 pull ups first?"
"No fucking way," I moaned, as I stood. He laughed, and rubbed my head. "You are improving all the time!" He reached over and rubbed my abs. "Does it still hurt when you move?"
"No," I said, enjoying the feel of his hand on me.
"See, I told you that it would pass as you got stronger." He slapped my abs then.
"Oof!" I said, with exaggeration.
"Grab your stuff. And remember, no shaving until tomorrow night!"
That made my cock swell again, thinking of that photo session.
There were several other guys in the shower, so we didn't get to talk about anything. But I enjoyed catching glimpses of the various guys as they showered. For the past week I had focused mainly on their cocks, but now I started taking in their whole bodies.
I smiled to myself as I did that. It didn't matter to me if they were short, tall, overweight, dark, light, or whatever; they were guys, and I liked looking at all of them. I wondered what they would taste like.
I had to turn the water a bit colder to keep me from responding too much to my thoughts. Hank saw me adjust the temp and smiled. He knew me too well.
The best part was when we were drying, and as each guy put his towel to his head, I got to take a longer look without being caught.
We grabbed our robes and towels. I slid on my robe, while Hank just carried his towel sort of in front of him as we walked back to our room. I left my robe untied and still felt self conscious, but it was getting easier.
Back at the room, we combed our hair and brushed our teeth together. I kept looking at his naked body in the mirror and he said, around a mouthful of toothpaste, "You just can't get enough of naked men, can you?"
I looked chagrinned and shook my head. It was so amazing to have a guy that I COULD look at whenever I wanted. Wow! And he was so great to look at as well.
He rubbed my head after he rinsed his mouth, "You are a great roommate!"
We dressed and headed off to class. I managed to concentrate on most of what was being said. I did drift off now and then when a random sexual thought would surface. I wondered what Hank had planned. Each time I thought of that, my stomach tightened a bit. He had said it was going to play on my fears.
I would put the thought away and concentrate on taking notes each time I began to get wound up in that. I made it through the morning classes. I stopped off at the men's room and, as I stood at the urinals to take a leak, I smiled at how I could now do this without a problem. Guys were standing on either side of me and I was able to go! I would sneak a look as I could, out of the corner of my eye to try and catch a glimpse of the guy's dick as he pissed.
I didn't do that too much, because I didn't want to start reacting to what I was seeing, what with my cock hanging out.
I mentally shook my head as I zipped up and went over to wash my hands. I grinned at myself in the mirror and then looked back at the guys lined up there pissing; each with a cock in his hand!
I grabbed lunch at the commons, picking the healthy things that Hank would have chosen for me.
During my afternoon classes, my mind circled back a couple of times. I fought down the worry, but it seemed to surface more and more the closer it got to the time to return to the dorm. I was excited and scared.
I went up the stairs and saw my hand tremble a bit as I reached for the handrail. I wiped my forehead and then shook my head. I had to trust Hank.
I opened the door and looked in. There was Hank sitting at his desk in his boxers, and Todd and Billy and Eric sitting on his bed and in my desk chair.
"Hey, Kyle," they all said, as I came into the room. I waved and wondered what was up.
Hank looked at me and then at my clothes. Surely he didn't want me to strip naked in front of these guys. Now Eric had seen me naked before, and I couldn't remember if I had been naked at the poker party or not. I looked back at Hank.
"Come on, little brother, I was telling these guys how you come back to the room and strip down; never a stitch when you are in the room."
I looked around and saw him nodding. I swallowed. "But, you, ..."
"Yeah, sometimes I join you. But they wanted to see you. They didn't believe me."
Billy said, "Yeah, go ahead; just pretend we aren't here." He was smiling.
I looked at Hank, and he nodded his head just a bit.
I sat down my pack and thought, this isn't much different than stripping for the people when I model. I shrugged my shoulders, pulled off my t-shirt, then undid my shorts and dropped them. Usually Hank had us going commando.
I stood there naked then, with my hands out to my sides, and blushed just a bit.
"I guess you are right," Todd said. Looking me up and down, scrutinizing me very carefully.
I definitely felt the stares, and felt that feeling of being the center of attention.
"And he is one horny dude," Eric said. "He gets hard at the drop of a hat!"
Yeah, of course, I began to react. I felt on display and it was having an effect. My head started racing with nerves. Was this some kind of hazing or razzing by them, or was it part of Hank's plan?
"I nicknamed him Sir Everhard because seems to be in a state of constant stimulation," Hank said, pointing to my cock as it rose.
"I see what you mean," Billy said.
"Let's see you take care of that thing," Eric prodded. "Show us how you stroke."
There was agreement around the room. I licked my upper lip as I looked to Hank. Again, almost imperceptively, he nodded.
I took hold of my cock, and my body shook; this was pushing all kinds of buttons. I was scared and I was turned on.
"Do you believe that? He is jerking off right here in front of us!" Todd said, sounding amazed. I stopped, and blushed. I looked at Hank for guidance; again, the tiny nod.
I gripped my cock and stroked again. I closed my eyes and I heard, "He is just going off in his own little world, stroking away!" My eyes opened, and I looked at Hank for a reprieve. But he just signaled for me to continue.
I swallowed. I was feeling humiliated, but I was also feeling turned on.
I looked down and saw a pearl of clear liquid form at the head of my cock. "Man, he is really enjoying himself!" I heard. I couldn't tell who said it.
"Yeah, but he really gets off on giving blow jobs!" This I knew was from Eric.
"Really?" Todd said, looking from Hank to me and back. "He likes sucking on another guy's cock?"
"Well, he has been known to swallow mine now and then," Hank said, and I was floored, but my cock swelled.
"Can we see that?" Billy asked.
"Sure, don't see why not." He rose up off of the chair and scooted off his boxers. He moved the chair and then leaned back against the desk. He took his cock in his hand and waved it, "Come and show `em how you enjoy working on this."
I blushed again, but followed his direction. I knelt at his feet, and then looked up at him again, pleading with my eyes. Again the signal to proceed. With shaking hand, I took his cock and licked at the head of it. It began to swell immediately.
Soon he was hard, and I was working on his cock. "Wow, look at him suck that cock!" then, "Can you believe that? Sucking on his roommate's cock!"
Humiliation rolled over me, but so did the fog of lust. I was on display at Hank's direction, and being embarrassed. But the taste of Hank's cock was wonderful!
The exclamations of wonder and amazement became a buzz as I focused on Hank's cock.
I lost track of time, but I felt Hank's hand on my head, and looked up. He pulled me up and I heard, "Look he is still hard and dripping; he DID enjoy doing that. Can you imagine?" I think it was Todd.
Hank led me over to the bed and told me to get up on all fours. I went red, but followed his direction. I felt my stomach tighten. Then I felt a finger and the sensation of cold on my hole. I moaned as he slipped in his finger.
"Is he going to fuck him?" was asked incredulously.
Humiliation and lust battled in me. I felt his hands on my hips, and then the head of his cock was pressing at my hole. I pushed back like he taught me, and he began to slide in.
I moaned as he settled himself in me and heard, "Amazing! He has his whole cock up his ass! I wouldn't have believed it, if I hadn't seen it. A man getting fucked by another man and he seems to be enjoying it!" I gritted my teeth, and felt the war of emotions tugging on me. I was proud I could take Hank here in front of these guys, and it was such a turn on, but at the same time, what were they thinking of me? Lust and humiliation tugged, but the presence of Hank's cock, as he began to slide in and out, was getting my attention.
I moaned again and he began to work on my ass. He found my prostate and began massaging it with his dick, driving me crazy! I felt the electricity the first time he rubbed it, and my cock dripped, but as he continued to stimulate it, I began to push back onto Hank. I moaned again, deeper this time.
"He is really getting into this! Look at his cock dripping. He really likes this!" I heard from around me.
Then the fog of lust enveloped me and all the words became a blur as I clamped down on Hank's cock and tried to please him as he pleased me. It became just the two of us, and me enjoying the friction of him in my hole. I know I began to thrash my head, and he pushed me closer and closer to the brink.
There is something totally amazing about approaching climax without any stimulation of your cock. It is so foreign, so wild, so strange, so mind blowing, that it just takes you and begins to rip you apart.
Hank picked up the pace, pulling me onto his cock, slamming himself into me, making our balls smack together. I began to pant, moan, and push out saying, "Harder! Fuck me harder," in a husky throaty growl.
Then came the wash of feeling, telling me that the train was roaring in, and it was going to wash over me at any moment. Hank slammed into me and I felt the warmth of his cum in my ass as he began to shoot. That sent me over the edge and I began to shoot as well.
Hank clung to me as he pushed deep in me, getting the last of it into me.
I felt weak and shaky as I came down from the rush. I heard clapping and cheers. I felt a red flush roll over me again. Hank pulled out of me and flipped me on my back.
I looked up and saw the guys all standing around me, smiling and clapping.
"That was one hell of a show!" I started to panic. Was I just the butt of some joke or prank?
"We hated saying all those things like; Can you believe he is doing that?' when what we really wanted to say was My turn!'" This was from Todd.
He stuck out his hand to me. I took it, he shook it, and said, "Hi, I am Todd and I am gay." My mouth dropped open.
Next was Billy. I shook his hand and he said, "Hi, I am Billy and I am bi." Then he blushed as he looked at the other guys. "What?"
We all laughed at him then. Eric was next, but I knew he was gay. "Hi, I am Eric and I fucking straight!" Everyone broke up laughing then.
I looked at Hank, and he was smiling from ear to ear! He had planned the whole thing! He had certainly pushed all my buttons and got me through a huge wall. I was going to trust him, no matter what, from now on. And I wasn't going to be so worried about constantly wondering what people were thinking of me.
I basked in the warmth of the good vibes I was getting from the guys around me. Eric reached over and wiped up some cum from my hole, put it to my lips, and said, "Look, he even eats the cum that came out of his hole. Can you imagine?" And we all broke up laughing.
I stood up and wrapped my arms around Hank. I gave him a big hug and whispered in his ear, "Thank you, big brother!"
My apologies for the long delay in the getting this out. As always comments, suggestions and photos of the guys are always welcome! harryrod575@yahoo.com
have fun
harry