The bag was moderately heavy and I wondered what could be in it and where it had come from. Then I went back to worrying about what had happened between him and Jim, and what he was going to say to Jared about the marks on my body. Once again, I was aware of confusion in my life, my new life that had started not quite a week ago.
Was anything ever going to be "normal" again?
When we reached the cafeteria, Jim was sitting at table for four by himself, but chatting on his cell phone. He smiled, and motioned for me to put the package down. I did, and then we headed off to the food line. As usual, Hank picked out my food, and I liked that feeling of being taken care of. It told me that he still cared about me. Why was I such a ninny and always worrying?
Back at the table, I realized how hungry I was, and started to attack my food. As I reached up to stick a piece of cereal back into my mouth that hadn't made it in, I caught Hank watching me and smiling. "Take your time. Chew each bite 20 times, and put your spoon down between bites, little brother. The package will still be there when you finish eating." He had his usual smile back on his face. I loved that smile.
I took my time and ate slowly. I ate my granola with blueberries and low fat yogurt. Then I had the turkey bacon and whole wheat English muffin. I liked the way Hank made the muffin with just a bit of butter and then put the bacon on it. Today, he had sprinkled a bit of cheese on it. I guess he knew I needed the extra protein!
By the time I finished, and Hank had put a cup of hot tea down for me, everyone else was finished. Jim took the trays away and then returned.
Hank put the bag in front of me and said, "Open it, little brother," with a huge grin on his face.
I didn't know what to think. I had no clue. I opened the bag and looked in. There was a second bag inside. I lifted it out and saw that it contained a box about 8 inches, lying on one side.
I opened the second bag, and nearly dropped it. I looked at Hank, and tears started rolling down my face. It was my camera! The one I had longed for. I had dreamed about this for a long time, and never thought it could be mine.
He was smiling, and I saw that he could sense my emotions. I could see it in his eyes. "How?" I squeaked out.
Hank wiped his eyes and laughed. "Well, I knew how much money you have and, with the sales on the web, you had enough. Jim talked to me about it, and said he would get it and you could pay him back." He smiled again, watching my expressions. "We went out and got it this morning. We also have another surprise for you." He looked at Jim, who was grinning like an idiot.
"We are going on a hike today, for you to try it out!" He had a mischievous grin on his face. He looked at Hank and Jared and then back to me. "We being you, me, Hank, Jared, Todd, and Billy."
I didn't know what to think. I was so overwhelmed with the camera that I couldn't process what Jim was saying. I just shook my head.
Hank locked his arm around my neck again and rubbed my head. "Okay, you get a couple of hours to study the instruction book and get a handle on how to use it. Then around 10 o'clock, we are going to head out for a hike."
I thanked Jim, and told him I would get the money together and get it to him as soon as I could. He told me to take my time. I still had trouble getting words out. I was so thrilled. I couldn't believe it! I wanted to run right upstairs to start pouring over the camera, but held myself in check.
Hank was grinning away, Jim had his shit eating grin on, and Jared just looked confused. I don't think he understood what it meant to me and what I had worked at to get the money for it.
Finally Hank said, "Okay, you can go to our room, little brother!" I practically jumped up from the table. Hank laughed and followed me upstairs. I was racing up the stairs two at a time.
I sat the box down on my desk and stripped off my clothes. It was so natural for me to do this. Hank saw this, and laughed as he stripped off his clothes. And when I saw him naked, I stopped thinking about the camera. Damn, he looked so good. It was so amazing the way his hair made those patterns on his chest and arms.
And he was my brother. He had stuck up for me in front of Jared, and confronted Jared when he had left marks on me. And he had called me little brother again. I guess I didn't need to worry about him wanting Jim instead. But then I thought about him and Jim spending the night together and going out this morning. But they had bought the camera for ME!
He sat down in his desk chair and looked at me with that big smile on his face. And I melted. I went over and sat on his lap facing him. I couldn't help it, he was driving me wild. My dick, lying against his stomach, expanded and swelled with the touch and warmth of him. I looked him in the eyes and tried to speak.
"Hank, I want to say something." My mouth was dry, and I was having trouble getting it out. "Damn, this is difficult to say!" I felt the emotion in my throat and fought to talk around it.
"Hank, you mean a great deal to me. Not just as a roommate and not just as a brother." Damn, was I saying this? "You have taught me so much and mean so much to me." I swallowed again. "I wanted to tell you that I really like you and am very happy that I am with you." And then before I could lose it or he could say anything, I leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips.
He responded with emphasis, and sent his tongue searching into my mouth. I opened mine for him, and sent my own out to explore his mouth.
Tears did slip down my face as I rubbed my hands over his shoulders and down his back. I wanted to touch him with every part of my body.
When we broke the kiss, I didn't want to stop. I worked my way to his neck and kissed him there. He was rubbing his hands along my back and over my ass. I felt his cock rising up and growing along my crack. It felt so good.
I reached over and raised an arm, kissing my way into his armpit. I wanted to taste him everywhere. He sighed and moaned as I slid down a bit and moved to his other arm pit.
I moved down a bit more and went to one of his nipples, tracing my tongue through the hair that encircled it. As I played with it with my tongue, it grew and stiffened. I leaned in and teethed it a bit and he gasped. I thought I had hurt him, but I felt his cock stiffen against my butt. He caressed my ass and squeezed it as I moved to the other nipple and repeated the process there.
He inhaled deeply through clenched teeth, then said "Yes!" as I did that.
I traced my way down his trail of hair to his navel, swirled my tongue there, and then slid my body down more until I could take his cock head into my mouth. He moaned again as I swirled my tongue around it and pushed my head down onto it. I took more than I had ever taken before.
He then pulled me up by my arms, until I was sitting in his lap again with his cock firmly seated along my crack.
It was his turn! He planted a kiss on my lips then, and explored my mouth again. When he broke for air, he moved to my neck and then down to my nipples. I gasped as I felt the electricity shoot through me, and he stimulated them with his tongue and teeth. My cock was hard and twitching against his stomach.
He came up and cupped my head in his hands, and I opened my dazed eyes and saw him staring into my eyes. "Little brother, Kyle, you mean a great deal to me. You have changed my life in many ways as well. I have never felt the way I do about you with anyone else. You make me want to take care of you. You make me want to do things for you and with you, not just with you."
He rubbed his hands along my back and over my ass again, and I moaned again. "I want to do things with you and to you and for you. I want you to know everything there is about me, and about sex and life and love and everything which is natural, which is infinite which is yes."
I saw moisture in his eyes and he smiled. "I think that's an e.e. cummings poem." His eyes were full now, "Look at me, quoting poetry to my roommate.
`i thank You God for most this amazing day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any--lifted from the no of allnothing--human merely being doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened)'
That poem reminds me of you, and being with you. My eyes are open and my ears are awake. Yes, it speaks about God, too, but right now, it reminds me of you and the way you make me feel."
I saw a tear roll down his face, and felt emotions well up in me as well. I bent and kissed away the tear that had rolled down his face.
I didn't know about the other meaning of the poem about God and all, but he had said it to me, and it sucked me in and ripped my heart open with it. I didn't want to be anyplace other than with him.
"Thank you, Hank, for being you and being here and being with me," I said, and felt my own tears roll down my face.
I leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear, "I want you inside me."
He nodded his head, and I felt him reach around, and then heard the snap of a cap. In a moment, I felt his hands at my hole, inserting a lubed finger, whirling it around. I gasped, and hung onto him.
He must have rubbed some on his shaft as well, because it was a moment before he took hold of my ass cheeks and raised me up over his cock. He moved me around to line up with his cock, and then let my weight push myself down onto his cock.
I gasped, as I was filled, and breathed deeply, enjoying the sensations. Soon, I was settled completely on his cock and looking in his face. He was smiling, and he whispered, "You feel so good! And I like it!"
I sat that way for a moment longer. Then he said, "It's your ride, go for it."
I understood what he meant. I was going to control the pace, intensity, and depth. I raised myself up a bit, withdrawing from him a little, and then sank back down on him. Wow, what a feeling; I was in charge of this.
So then, similar to what I had done in Jared's ass, I began to do with mine. I did slow, deep strokes on his cock, keeping my ass tight around his cock as I did so. He moaned, and I looked into his eyes. He smiled, and then closed them, as I once again slid down his pole, squeezing tightly.
I was running my hands through his hair and trying to keep my mouth in contact with him as I tried to breathe, because riding his cock was driving me wild! I was getting all wound up again in the throws of sex, and was losing control again! I was bouncing madly on his cock, and trying to kiss him, breathe, touch him every where, and in any way show him what he meant to me.
He likewise was running his hands over my back and butt, seemingly trying to touch me everywhere at once. Occasionally, he would thrust up into me. He began to moan as I continued to work on his cock. I could tell by the look on his face that he was heading towards the edge. There was a desperate rate to his breathing, as if he was having difficulty getting air. But I knew that expression; I had seen it before, and knew he was fast approaching the edge.
I felt his cock swell in my ass, and clamped down tightly on it. He grabbed my ass cheeks and pulled me onto his cock, and then pushed up. Then he repeated it again with urgency, and then once more with a grunt, as he pushed deep inside me and began to pulse in my ass. I knew, without feeling it, that he was shooting. His breathing was ragged as he panted through his climax, legs trembling beneath me.
He pulled me against him then, and sucked the air out of my lungs with his powerful kiss. I clung to him as I felt his cock twitch once more in my ass. Our tongues fenced within our mouths. I had my eyes closed completely, wrapped up in the other sensations enveloping me.
Hours later, it seemed, he released his grip on me and my mouth, and sighed. I breathed deeply, and squeezed again around his cock in my ass. My own cock was twitching against his stomach, as it was smashed between the two of us. I hadn't cum with him, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that he had.
I opened my eyes to look into his, still closed, and then to the rest of his face, where his smile encompassed his whole countenance. I kissed him on the nose, and then on his right ear. Damn, he tasted good.
He shuddered again, sighed deeply, and then opened his eyes. The whites rolled down, and I saw his irises and his pupils trying to focus. He worked his eyes open wider, rolling his eyeballs around. He smiled, showing his pearly whites, looked at me and said, "I think you nearly fucked my eyeballs out!" He worked his eyes again, crossing and uncrossing them.
I laughed, leaned in, and started to whisper, "I lov..." when he interrupted.
"Shhhh. Don't say it." I felt hurt. I wanted to say it to him.
He took me by the shoulders and pushed me back a bit. "It is too easy to say right now. I know I feel the same way at this moment. But I don't want it to be something easily said and then regretted later. I want to say it to you when I know, beyond anything and everything, that I mean it and will always mean it." I saw emotions run over his face, and his eyes fill up.
"You mean a lot to me and I don't want to see you harmed, and I want you with me all the time. I want to say that you mean more to me than anyone I have ever been with, and please accept that as being as much as I can say right now, and all I want to hear from you at this moment." He paused, and ran his hands down my sides and squeezed my ass.
I wanted to start bawling again. "No, don't take me wrong. I like you and want you and desire you. I can't imagine, for a moment, a life without you now that I have met you and gotten to know you. The "L" word is a big step for me and, as I said, I will not say it lightly, nor do I want you to. So accept that I want to, and know that you want to, but not this second, not today."
He looked at me again, reached up and wiped away the water in my eyes, smiled, and leaned in to plant a chaste kiss on my cheek. "You mean the world to me now, and I am pretty sure that will always be the case, but I don't want you to say something because you think you need to, or that I want you to, or that you might regret later."
"But I want," he wouldn't let me finish.
He put his finger on my lips again. "Shhh. Not yet. And don't say anything else at the moment." He thought for a moment and then said, "No, I am sorry, that's wrong. I have said you could always ask or say anything." He grinned again and added, "You know, I really get off on controlling you and telling you what to do, but in the case of speaking and asking questions, you have to be in charge. So don't ever hold back on questions or comments. I AM sorry. I should never tell you not to ask questions or not to speak." He wiped my eyes once again.
I thought before I spoke. I digested what he had said. I began to understand it. I would have said `I love you' easily and readily, but he was probably right. It would have been the heat of the moment, and might not have meant what I really wanted it to mean.
I looked up at his face after thinking about it, and just said, "Thank you, Hank," and leaned in to hug him again. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.
We stayed like that for a few moments, and then the patted my ass and said, "Get up, I have to pee!" and he chuckled.
I leaned back, looked at him, and then whispered, "Can you go inside me?"
He looked at me strangely, and then asked, "Yes, I can, but why?"
I had come too far to be reticent now. "Jared wanted to do it to me, and I wouldn't let him, but I wondered what it would feel like." I looked at him and added, "Is that bad?"
"Bad that Jared wanted to do it to you, or bad that you want me to do it to you?" Of course, he wasn't going to let me off the hook easily.
"Bad that I want you to," I said, in a quiet voice.
He smiled, "Little brother, I have told you that nothing you could ask would be bad. If you want to try it, then let's do it. I have said I want you to experience everything, try everything, and understand about everything, whether you try it or not. I don't want you ever to not know about something sexual and, either how it feels, or what it is, or what it might feel like." He rubbed his hands along my sides again.
"Have you ever had an enema?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"Okay, then, just sit still."
I did, and soon I felt warmth flood up into me. I looked into his face as he did this, and he changed from concentrating to smiling, as he watched my expression change. I couldn't believe the amount that flooded into me. I clinched tightly around his cock.
Finally, I heard him sigh, and then he said, "Okay, slide off, but keep yourself closed tightly." I rose up and he slid out. I stood, and my legs wobbled a bit from the position and the sex and all. He steadied me, and then stood himself.
He reached down and took hold of my cock, which had never softened, squeezed it, and then said, "You didn't cum!" He looked at me again, smiled, and said, "You haven't cum in what, an hour? Are you okay with that? I mean I know you have to come at least once an hour to keep your mental condition stable!"
I smiled, and then knew I needed to head to the toilet. He must have seen the change in my face, because he chuckled and, using my cock as a handle, pulled me into the toilet.
He had me sit. I had hoped he would leave, but he didn't. He sat there through it all and I, once again, felt the humiliation and shame of going in front of him. When I was finished, wiped and flushed, he laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.
"One day you are going to learn that there is nothing wrong with taking a dump, and the fact that someone else is around is not important. It is just a natural thing, that everyone does, and nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of." He put his hand on the opposite shoulder and pulled me in close to him, just like a brother would do.
"Now, let's go out and figure out how to use this new camera of yours!"
I washed my hands, and followed him out into our room. I still liked the sound of that. I unpacked the camera, got out the instructions, and went through them, explaining the functions to Hank. He was duly impressed. It was a digital single lens reflex camera, capable of a great range of functions and exposures. I talked about all the advantages of it, until I looked over and saw the expression on his face. "What?" I asked.
He chuckled, "Other than sex, I have not seen you so enamored with anything else. You seem to know a lot about this camera, even before you opened it up. Obviously, it has been a secret desire of yours for a long time. I am glad I could help with the process."
I reached over and hugged him again. I hadn't thanked him enough!
"No," he said, reading my mind again, damn it! "I am not looking for thanks." He smiled when he saw the look on my face, "And no, I can't read your mind. I am just beginning to know you a little better." He grinned wider and then said, "No, what I meant was that I was so glad you got it, and that you wanted it, and that it is something you really wanted, and something that keeps your mind off of sex -- at least for a minute or two!" He laughed, and rubbed the top of my head!
"Well, I could always take pictures of you jerking off!" I thought for a moment, "or with a tripod I could get shots of me sucking you or you fucking me!"
He laughed out loud and said, "Hell, who needs a tripod, we could just get Jim to take them for us." He smiled and added, "And maybe it is you fucking me!" He rubbed my head again and asked, "What is with you fucking Jared, anyway? How did that come about?"
I grinned, blushed, and tried not to look him in the eyes. "What?" he asked.
"I thought it was a dream and," I hesitated, "I thought it was you." I blushed again, and he really belly laughed then.
"You thought it was me?" He slapped his knee. "That's funny!" He wiped a tear away from his eye and then added, "So tell me what happened, and what did Jared do?"
So I told him the story. I had to retrace myself a couple of times as I remembered various parts. He listened intently as I related everything that had happened. He had me continue on until he had heard the story of Jared taking me in the bathroom, the smack on the ass, the bite on the shoulder, and the attempt to piss in my ass.
"My little brother, what a wild one you are!" He rubbed my head again.
He looked at his clock, "Oh, shit! We need to get a hussle on. It is just about 10:00."
He jumped up and grabbed a day pack and threw some stuff in it. He had me add my camera -- MY camera! -- and a couple of bottles of water. Then we dressed. I was going to put on some underwear, but he told me not to. He did make sure that I put on good sturdy shoes. He threw me a baseball cap, put on one himself, and we headed downstairs.
Downstairs, Jim was waiting. Jared was on his way down.
Hank nodded and told the guys to pick up some water, granola bars, oranges, etc. Eric had a day pack as well, so all the supplies were divided up. Jared showed up smiling. And just as he was sitting down, Eric pops in.
I was very surprised to see him. Jim said, "This is Eric, Todd's roommate. Todd and Billy couldn't make it; something came up. But Eric heard about the hike and asked if he could tag along." Jim looked from Hank to Jared and me and asked, "Is it okay?"
Hank said it was. Eric said, "Yeah, I have met Kyle before, in my photo class."
I was still struggling with the fact that Eric was there. He knew about me. Was he going to say something? And I remembered he had seen me last night with cum spots on my pants. What did he think of me? Was he still eager to get to know me? Was he going to come on to me again, with the other guys around? What would he think of Hank and me?.
"Okay, purpose of hike," everyone looked at each other and then back to Hank. I guess they were wondering what they had gotten themselves in for. "is to get out and explore the area around us and to allow Kyle to try out his new camera. He has a couple of assignments for his photo class, and we are going to help him." He looked at me before continuing.
"I know he has some ideas for shots, but I also have some ideas for some shots that I want to see him take." He looked around at each guy. "Are you all okay taking my directions?" They all nodded, although Eric looked at me before he did. "And of course, Kyle's, as he points out what he needs." They nodded again.
"Jared, you can be navigator," and he handed over a map to Jared. "There is a pull out at the end of this dirt road where we will park. I expect that we will be out a couple of hours. There is a diner on the way out where we will stop for some lunch, after we have worked up an appetite!" He smiled.
I loved hearing him in charge. I wondered what Eric thought of him. I wondered what he was going to say. And then I remembered Hank's stories of what I had done at the poker game, and wondered what he thought about me. Shit! I was once again wrapped up in wondering what people thought of me. The only one I seemed to be certain of was Hank. And I liked what I thought he thought about me. How was that for convoluted logic?
The comments and suggestions are much appreciated. And the photos of what you think the guys look like are great inspiration! harryrod575@yahoo.com
have fun
harry