This story is a collaboration by myself and another writer who contributed greatly his talent and ideas. If you liked the story---or if you didn't---we would appreciate hearing from you at Peterbilt1228@live.com and toddstop@yahoo.com
Knowing I'm Gonna Get Fucked
Chapter One
Chapter Eleven
I was more than a little surprised when Mom told me that her brother, Jerome, had called wanting to know if I might be able to take part of the weekend and help him move some stuff to a cottage he'd bought up at Lake Wiley.
"Cool. Sure. Wow, I never thought Uncle Jerome liked me," I said.
"Oh, sure he likes you, he's just led his own life and never associated too closely with the family, and then you grew into a teenager and got your own life too. It'll be good for the two of you to get really acquainted. You might be surprised at how much you two have in common."
I was looking forward to it too. Uncle Jerome was ex-navy, and after I got old enough to understand the stories they told about sailors being cooped up on ships for months on end, I wondered about my uncle. Maybe it was more wishful thinking.
He picked me up about seven on Saturday morning and told Mom that if he didn't have me back by supper time we would likely be staying overnight at the cabin; something I hadn't planned on but I didn't object to it. I had also heard stories about black men, and I was anxious to find out if they were true; if Jerome was as true as my teammate, Damon. And spending the night would likely give me that opportunity.
We drove to a mini warehouse place where we loaded a bunch of furniture on his truck then headed up to Lake Wiley. Jerome said he was glad I could help him. On the drive, he brought up the usual subjects that most adults seem to talk about with teenagers; school, sports and girls. I wanted to talk about the Navy but I didn't know how to ask what I really wanted to know. And in the back of my mind I was wondering what this trip or the overnight might bring. I'd noticed that we loaded on only one single bed.
The cottage was small, only two rooms; one was the kitchen and breakfast nook, the other was the combination living room and bedroom. After only a couple of loads carried in, Jerome took off his shirt. I'd never seen him that way and I wasn't expecting it. I was a little taken aback to see him naked from the waist up. He was really built, I'd already seen that with his shirt on; wide, muscle-heaped shoulders and big arms, a broad, deep chest that gave way to rippling abs that tapered down to a tiny waist. I'd also noticed his muscular thighs bulging inside his worn jeans, and how his muscle butt stuck out in back. I loved watching it churn and flex inside the snug fitting jeans. He sported an impressive bulge in front too, but not enough to tell if he was of the legendary proportions that I'd heard of black men like my friend Damon had proven to be. He was darker than Damon, a dark brown that looked truly black in low light, and I wondered if that meant anything.
Next trip inside I took off my shirt. I noticed the way he looked at me. Not just a casual glance, he really looked, with a tight smile.
"Damn, what the hell happened to that snot nosed little boy I used to see at the family gatherings?"
"I guess I grew up," I said with a shrug.
"You sure as hell did. Nobody could mistake you for anything but a jock."
"You're built really good too, Uncle Jerome."
"How about just Jerome? The uncle makes me sound old."
"Okay??Jerome. You know, I always thought you didn't like me very much. I was surprised when Mom told me you wanted me to help you today."
"I didn't not like you, Kenny, I just never had that much to do with kids. Never could relate much to little kids. But you're not a kid anymore. Besides, I needed some muscle to help me move all this stuff."
"I was glad to help."
"Do you want to stay the night?" he asked.
"Sure, if we have to, I can stay as long as you need me."
"Well, we, uh?..don't have to," he said. "I told your Mom that just to clear the way. I can get you back by supper time if you want."
"No, I??" I had to pause to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. It sounded like he'd planned this out. "I can stay," I said.
"Good, because I'd like for us to get to know each other better. I think I can relate to you now that you're older. Just never could figure out how to talk to little kids."
"I'd like to get to know you better, too, Jerome. I've always wanted to talk to you, about stuff, like the Navy."
"Thinking about joining?"
"No, just curious about stuff. I haven't decided yet about going into the military."
"Well, ask away. What do you want to know?"
"Well, I?.." I had to swallow again in order to get my voice out. "I always wondered what it's like on board a ship?.you know, being cooped up out there for months at a time."
"Well, you have to love the sea. That tops everything else. I guess you could say it's cooped up, it's pretty tight quarters, but being out there on the sea, it's such an exhilarating feeling?..I don't know how to describe it. You'd have to find out for yourself."
"Could I ask you?..s-something sort of personal?"
"Sure."
"Is it tight enough quarters that?..well, you didn't have women onboard ships back then?."
Jerome smiled, then laughed. "You're asking the age old question," he said, rather wearily.
"I've heard stories??"
"Some of those stories are true, some not. Guess it depends on who's telling 'em."
"If you were telling them?..you're the one I'm asking," I said.
"And I will answer you. But could I ask you something first? Why're you asking?"
"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "Just curious I guess."
"What're you curious about?"
I didn't know how to answer him; I felt like he was backing me in a corner.
He laughed. "Sorry, I boxed you in. I didn't mean to do that. If I was telling the stories??" He paused and looked off, as if to remember. "Most of 'em would be true for me. And for a lot of guys I knew."
I was surprised at him being so boldly honest, but I wondered if he understood what I was asking.
"Uncle?..Jerome, are you, uh?..sure you understand what I was asking?"
"You're asking if we had sex together when we were out to sea?.if I had sex with other guys?..the answer is yes. And not just when we were at sea. There were a lot of us who took it ashore when we had shore leave."
I was sort of bug-eyed surprised. "Whew! That was easier than I thought it would be."
"Wish we'd established this rapport a long time ago, but you can ask me, talk to me about anything, Kenny. I got nothing to hide; at least not from anybody who wants to know and can handle the truth about me." He smiled then laughed. "You know, everybody thinks the reason I'm not married is because of a bad relationship that ended in a really bad breakup. I was in a relationship that ended badly, but it was with a guy, not a woman. The reason I'm not married is because I prefer guys. That should answer all of your questions."
"It pretty much does, and I?..well, since you're so upfront with me, I?..I feel like I can tell you?..I'm gay, too.
He smiled that gorgeous smile of his again. "Sort of thought so."
I blinked with surprise. "What made you think so? I never thought I was that obvious."
"You're not obvious but there are little clues that can be picked up by an experienced eye."
"Like what?"
"Doesn't matter. I said by the experienced eye; somebody who's interested. Nobody else would ever pick up on them."
"Tell me what they are."
"No. You would try to hide them. You don't wanta hide them. But now, tell me, just how gay are you?"
"I'm just gay. I don't think there are degrees of being gay. If you're only partly gay, then you're bi."
"I meant how much experience have you had." He gave me a smile that made me feel like a little kid.
"A lot. Really a lot," I replied with a sort of arrogance, wanting to make up for my not understanding.
"That's relative. How much is a lot to you."
"Oh, Uncle Jerome, I've been fucked more times than I can count. You're going to think I'm a slut for telling you this, but I get fucked all the time by most of the baseball team, plus other guys."
"Wow, that is a lot. Sounds like you're way more gay than I am, or else you're having a lot more fun," he said, laughing.
We had stopped working to have that little conversation and I wanted a break in the talking, because I almost told him about Sheriff Walker. I picked up a kitchen chair to carry it inside. But Jerome caught on. He took the other chair and followed me inside. When we'd set them at the table he looked at me and gave me a knowing smile.
"You were about to tell me something else."
I blushed. "It's not something I should be telling."
"Oh, I guess we didn't establish full trust after all," he scoffed.
"No, it's not that. It's just?..I just shouldn't be telling it?about this one person."
"Okay." He shrugged and went back outside.
I felt shitty that he thought I didn't trust him. But if word ever got out??Damn, if he didn't think I trusted him?..he probably wouldn't trust me enough to have sex with me, and I wanted that real bad. I wanted to know the other truth about him??if he was a typical, mythical black man, and if he could make me feel like Damon from my team. I took a deep breath and went outside. He was dragging boxes to the tailgate.
"I'm getting fucked by the Sheriff," I blurted out. "And his deputy, and some other officers at the station house."
He turned with a huge smile. "Well I'll be damned. You are a little slut," he said, but I knew he didn't mean it in a bad way. "Fuck, Kenny, how many times a week are you getting it?"
"I don't even like to think about how many times, it's scary. Probably thirty? or forty."
"You need help," he said, laughing, but again, I knew he didn't mean it.
"I just like getting fucked," I said. "I?..I would really like for you to fuck me, Jerome."
"We could do that," he said. "Let's get this stuff carried in."
His affirmation made me so excited I could hardly breathe. I wondered what he would look like, totally naked, with a hardon. I could hardly wait to see his cock. I thought we would do it in the cottage but when we'd emptied the truck he went back outside. I followed him even though there wasn't anything else to carry in. I wondered if we were going back for another load. But he reached for his belt and I realized we were going to do it right there in the open. I started undressing too, my hands shaking with excitement. My eyes were glued to him as he pulled off his boots then his jeans. He slipped his boots back on and stood there rubbing the front of his briefs, waiting for me to get naked.
He whistled when I pulled off my shorts. His were bulging with his growing manhood. I stood there pulling on my cock for the few seconds it took to get completely hard, waiting, almost breathless. I didn't know how he wanted me. Then he pulled his briefs down and I gasped.
"Oh, My Godd! Oh, fuck! That is huge!"
"Meets your expectations?" he said, laughing.
"It sure as hell confirms everything I've heard about black guys," I said. I was ready to bend over the tailgate. But Jerome surprised me. He stepped around me and bent over the end of the truck. I was awed by his perfectly shaped butt and dumb-struck over what he was doing. He wanted me to fuck him?
"Uncle Jerome, I?..thought??"
"That I was gonna fuck you? Don't worry, we'll get around to that. But you first."
"Oh, Mannn." I stepped up between his spread legs, ran my hands up and down his smooth, massive thighs. He was clenching his butt muscles in invitation. I wanted to bury my face in his ass first but I didn't. He reached back and pulled his butt apart, stretching his hole open.
"Don't spare the horses," he said.
We didn't have any lube so I used spit, first on my cock, then I let a mouthful drizzle into the crack of his ass. I caught it with the head of my cock and worked it into his hole.
"Give it to me," he moaned anxiously.
For some stupid reason I thought of my Mom as I pushed my cock through his tight hole. I quickly erased the thoughts as he cried out when I entered him. But the fact that he was her brother, I couldn't help feeling the excitement over that.
"Ohh, yeah, white boy, fuck that black ass," he groaned.
I didn't know why he was calling me a white boy, except that I wasn't nearly as dark as him. There was a distinct contrast of his butt muscles clenching around my cock. I also noticed a difference in his ass, compared to other guys I'd fucked. He felt warm and silky-satin all the way in, and his sphincter, although tight, had a gentler squeeze to it.
"This the first black ass you ever fucked?" he asked.
"Yeah." I thought of Damon and how I would've loved to fuck him, but it was always the other way around. Not that I was complaining. "Am I going to be the first white boy you ever fucked?" I asked.
"Hell no," he said, laughing. "Most guys I fuck are white boys, a lot whiter than you. Don't know what it is, but they love black cock."
"I don't blame them. I can't wait for you to fuck me."
"You don't have to wait, we can break and switch back and forth," he said.
Good as it was, I was glad to break. I eased my cock out of Jerome's ass but couldn't resist shoving three fingers into his gaping hole just to get another feel of the silken chute. He squealed with delight when I found his prostate, and wriggled around on my hand.
"Oh, fuck, can't stand much of that," he said as he eased away from me and straightened up. "We'll save that for the finale." He put his hand on my shoulder to urge me to the tailgate.
I bent over and braced myself. I had a death grip on my cock, I was so pent up with lust I felt like I could cum any second. He lubed us up with spit and pressed the huge, blunt head of his cock against my hole. I pressed back. He went in, causing me to cry out with a loud gasp. It hurt like hell, but my cock was still tingling. He gave me the rest of his inches while I dealt with the pain. I wasn't even aware of where he put it all but I felt it penetrating the innermost depths of my body, like it knew exactly where to go, almost like it'd been there before. Maybe it knew the way instinctively into a white boy's ass. I kept squeezing my cock, cringing with the efforts to stay in control. Then he pulled back, and it was like his massive cock was an instrument of torturous pleasure, playing against the nerve endings of my ass lining. I felt my asshole lock tightly around the rim of his cock to keep it from escaping. He tugged back several times, pulling on my ass muscle, before he shoved back in, at a different angle.
A deadly angle. The heat of his cock seared my prostate all the way in, I could actually feel the big, bulging veins rubbing over it. By the time he was burying the head in the deep recess of my soul, it was more than I could take. With an animal like cry, I exploded.
When I felt the gushing cum swell my cock I let go of it and let it fly; there was nothing else I could do. I closed my eyes, cringing from the near unbearable fullness, and I heard the soft thuds of my cum landing across the bed of the truck.
Jerome eased off when he realized I had shot my load. He laughed softly as he pressed his loins against my trembling butt.
"I'm?.s-sorry," I moaned.
"Fuck, man, it didn't sound like that was anything to be sorry about," Jerome said. "Sounded like you white washed my truck."
"I never came that quick in my life," I said. "I wasn't even done hurting. It was like the pain made me go off."
"Does it hurt now?"
"No. You can go ahead and fuck me if you want."
"Naw, it wouldn't feel that good for you. We'll wait. We've got all night," he said as he eased out of me. He pulled me straight, back against his warm, hard body and twisted my head around to kiss me.
"Fuckin' glad you growed up, nephew," he murmured.
"I'm fuckin' glad you noticed," I said.
We got back into our pants but didn't bother with the underwear. We took time for lunch. Uncle Jerome had packed a cooler with sandwich stuff and drinks. As the afternoon went on I helped him unpack and get everything situated around the tiny cottage. I could tell it would be a nice place to vacation. As we worked I could hardly keep my eyes off my big uncle.
When the sun started to set we took turns showering in the rather makeshift bathroom. I didn't have any clothes so my uncle lent me some of his. When we were both ready he drove us into the small town and we stopped to eat at the diner. Over dinner we talked more about his days in the Navy. I was dying to know more about this bad break-up with some guy but I didn't want the other people in the diner to overhear. Fully stuffed we headed back to the cottage but not before he made a quick stop at the drugstore.
The electricity hadn't been hooked-up but he had some candles we could light. Once we could see, Jerome pulled out the bag he'd brought out of the drugstore and opened it up. It contained a tube of KY lubricant. I knew he had to be working up a case of blue balls after the way he'd only half-fucked me earlier. He held up the lube and smiled at me. I grinned right back.
At the bed he pulled the blanket and top sheet off and threw them over a chair. I stripped out of my borrowed shirt and shucked the rest. I was more than ready. He watched me as I stripped down and waited until I was on the bed kneeling before he came closer.
"You're an eager pup, nephew," his voice was so deep and it rumbled out now. He came to the side of the bed.
"I just know what I want," I told him as I grabbed his shirt and hauled him closer. My hard cock brushed over the jeans he'd changed into. I met his mouth in a deep kiss, his thick tongue stroking over mine.
"Damn, I like a man who knows what he wants," he said when I finally let him break away. Something about the fact that we were open about ourselves and that he was my uncle made me feel freer, like I could just be myself with him.
"I want you naked. Then I wanna taste your cock and when I'm done with that I want you to fuck me again." I told Jerome all of that even while I helped him get his shirt off. When it was thrown aside I reached for his belt but he grabbed my hands to stop me.
"Don't get pushy, white boy." One side of his full lips curled up.
"I'm only half-white you know."
He released my hands and touched my face, running a thumb over my cheek.
"I know," he whispered. "You look so much like her. But big and? all man. If you weren't my nephew and I was ten years younger?," he seemed almost sad for a minute.
"If you suspected about me, then why'd you wait so long?" I put my hands on his chest and felt his steady heartbeat.
"You were just a kid, Kenny."
"I'm not anymore."
"No, you're sure not," he said in a husky tone.
Hearing those words from my sexy uncle made me feel on top of the world. They made me want to prove I was a man. He didn't stop me when I reached for his buckle. Instead he leaned forward for another kiss. When I got his pants open his cock was hard and throbbing down his leg. When the pants fell it sprang up full and needy. I wrapped it up in my hands.
"Fuck, how big is this thing?" I looked up into his dark eyes.
"You're holding just over a foot of cock there."
I let out a low whistle and looked down at it, amazed. Bigger than Damon's, I thought. No wonder he made me cum just from putting it in.
With one more brief glance into his eyes I scooted back on the bed. Supporting myself with one hand on his lean hip I used the other to hold the base of his cock. I leaned forward and licked over it, getting it wet. I took the big head into my mouth and sucked on it. I thought of Damon and the time I'd swallowed his cock. I didn't know if I could swallow Jerome's or not, but I wanted to try.
I pulled off and laid on the bed with my head hanging over the edge. "Come on, Jerome. Put it in my mouth. I want it down my throat."
"It'll choke you," he said but he still squatted down enough to bring his cock level with my head.
"Let me worry about that." I grabbed onto his ass and pulled him forward. It was far from easy and he was really hard. I relaxed my throat and fought not to gag but he was just too big.
"You don't have to do this, Kenny, you don't have to prove anything," he said, easing away from me.
"I want to," I whined. "I wanta prove it to myself."
"Okay, let's just give a minute, for it to go down a little. Let it lose some of the hardness and get more rubbery, you might be able to take it." He walked around the room, trying to ignore his hardon. He even went outside for a couple of minutes while I lay on the bed, waiting, salivating. When he came back in his cock had lowered from a hard staff to a more humble stance, with a slight curve downward, almost like it was bowing. He came up to the bed and laid the head of his cock into my open mouth.
I clasped my hands around his butt so he wouldn't move away again. I was determined to take him come hell or high water. I tilted my head and closed my lips around the thick meat, nodding anxiously. He eased forward and the head of his cock pressed against the opening of my throat. It was a bit scary because there was so much of it still not even in my mouth yet. But I squeezed his butt muscles, urging him forward and the head burst into my throat. I quickly fought down the urge to gag. Gotta control your gag reflex, somebody had told me, and if there was ever a time, this was it. I took control of my breathing as he shoved his cock deeper. It was surprisingly easy for his size. I wondered if it would reach all the way into my stomach, and how that would feel if it did. He put his hands gently around my throat and smiled; I knew he could feel my throat bulging with his cock.
I took him all the way, feeling my throat wrapped tight around him. I breathed in the manly aroma of his mammoth balls laying over my face.
"Jesus fucking Christ, boy! No one's ever done that."
It made me proud and I used my hands to urge him to fuck my throat. He got the message and tried a tentative thrust. When I didn't freak out he tried another and as he drew back I sucked in a breath through my nose. The next time he buried it I tried swallowing around him and earned a drawn out groan of approval. The next proved to be too much for him and he pulled all the way out.
"Too close," he said. The monstrous thing throbbed over my face, wet and dark. I turned around and got on my knees at the edge of the bed, displaying my ass for him.
"No wait, lay back. I want to get a taste of your meat," he said.
I did what he wanted, excited to feel his lips around my dick. He kicked off his boots and jeans before crawling on the bed with a smile. He lowered his mouth and started on my balls. He gave them a good, loving workout before he licked his way up my cock. I think I swooned when he went down on me. His full lips caressed the length of my cock and his tongue made love to it. His mouth was so soft, like moist velvet. He managed to put every other guy who'd ever gone down on me to shame. He had to be the best cocksucker ever. He pushed me to the edge in just a few pulls but held me off. He knew exactly when to pause. He did it over and over until I was clawing at the sheet and begging him to let me cum.
"Aww, Jerome? Please, fucking do it. Please?" I all but whined.
His large hands held my hips down and kept me pinned to the bed when all I wanted was to fuck his face.
"I thought you wanted some more of this?" he asked as he pulled off my cock. He held his dick and slapped it against the palm of his other hand. In answer I pulled my own knees back to my chest and tilted my hips up to him.
"Do it," I told him.
He found the KY from somewhere and squirted a generous amount into his hand.
"Let me loosen you up," he said as he squirted more of the lube onto my hole.
"No, just push it in." I reached between my legs and grabbed his cock. I tried to pull him closer like my hand was on a leash.
"Fuck, I don't want to hurt you but? you've got me so hot, if that's what you want." His dick throbbed in my hand.
"I do. I want it so bad. I'll tell you if it's too much," I promised.
He gave in with a grunt. He got closer until he could aim his cock and the big spongy head pressed up to my hole. He exerted more and more pressure until it popped in. I breathed through the pain, grateful for it because I knew it'd keep me from cumming as quickly as last time. And like last time his big pole slipped into me like it belonged there. I took it all in one steady push.
He took me for the best fucking ride of my life. He made me cum twice without even touching my dick before he was finished. I liked the missionary position but I wasn't disappointed when he turned me onto my side and fucked me with one of my legs held over his chest. He turned me again and nailed me to the mattress before he straddled my legs and rocked that big fucker straight into me. He had me ride his cock, facing forward and facing his feet, then had me kneel above while he fucked it up into me. He put me on my knees on the end of the bed and fucked me all the way up to the headboard then up against the wall. I didn't know how I was still feeling such unspeakable pleasure after already cumming twice, or how my cock was staying so hard.
When he finally got his nut I came for the third time to the intense pressure of his cock filling me with a load of such volume it made my guts feel bloated. He was on his side behind me when it happened. He'd battered through my inner ring as surely as my sphincter, and when he was done I felt like I'd never close up again. He held me in his arms and left his whopper of a cock inside me as we both came down. A part of me wanted him to never take it out. I wondered how sex could keep getting better with each new experience. Obviously, it depended on the man.
We lay there like that for a long time, until our breathing synched up. I thought about my uncle and I wondered what he was feeling.
"Uncle Jerome?"
"Yeah?" he sounded half asleep.
"What happened with that guy? The bad break-up you mentioned?"
"Eh, it's in the past."
"Haven't you ever told anyone about it?"
"No. There was nobody to tell."
"There is now. If we've established enough trust," I added.
He chuckled and squeezed me. "He was a guy I met in the Navy. He was too afraid to commit to a guy and he dumped me to marry a woman. It sucked bad, but I'm over it." He didn't sound like he was over it, and I wanted to hear more details, but I didn't want to push it.
"Do Grandma and Grandpa know about you?"
"Yup, they never had a problem with it."
"What about my mom? Does she know?"
"Of course, she was the first person I ever told and she's always been there for me."
"But you never told her about the guy?"
"There was no reason to bother her with it."
"Oh shit!" I cursed suddenly. I sick feeling bubbled up in my stomach.
"What is it?" he asked and held me tighter.
"When you came to pick me up she said something, like, 'you might be surprised how much you two have in common' or something. You think she knows about me?"
"You're mom's a smart woman, I wouldn't be surprised if she had a clue. But you don't need to worry 'cause you know she loves you."
"Yeah, I guess." But I did wonder. I remembered that talk my dad kept trying to have with me in the garage a few weeks before and it made me wonder if they didn't both know something. Maybe word had spread past the kids in school?
"Tell me about all these guys you're screwing around with," Jerome said to distract me when I'd been quiet for a while. I sighed long and hard because I needed to be distracted or I'd drive myself crazy wondering.
"It all began with a guy named Justin after the homecoming game last fall," I started. Confessing to my uncle was so easy and the words just poured out. I told him about Justin, about the way he'd kinda' forced me to take on the guys that first time and I told him about Coach Baldwin and how the guys on the team gang-banged me at Justin's house which led right to the Sheriff. I told him a little more about how I felt about Jack than I intended to.
"You have to understand, Jerome, I know he's older than me; old enough to be my dad. But there's something about him. He's so commanding. And when it's just the two of us? He's different than the other guys? it's like he really cares about me. He doesn't let it be all one-sided. He goes down on me and he's even let me fuck him." I went on to explain Jack's past and how it affected his whole life after; I knew I could trust my uncle to keep the secret.
"So if he had Justin when he was sixteen, or probably seventeen, and Justin's the same age as you then this guy Jack must be? thirty-five or six? Damn, he's the same age as me." When he explained it like that I realized the Sheriff was younger than I'd thought.
"There's more." I told him the rest of it. I told him about Kyle, and Brady, about the other deputies at the station, and cousin Michael. I told him about Luis and the crazy orgy that left me feeling so confused. I finished with Jack's talk about retiring to St. Thomas and maybe taking me with him. "What do you think?" I asked after I'd poured it all out.
"Well?," he sighed and took a few minutes before answering. All the talk about sex and the stuff I'd done had made his dick hard again inside me which made me hard, too. "It sounds like there are four guys you really want, five but the cousin is in California so he doesn't count. There's Jack and Justin, Brady and Luis. Right?"
"Yeah, that about sums it up," I said and pressed my ass closer to his loins.
"You don't do anything halfway, do you?" I laughed along with him. "Stop squirming around, we'll get to the fucking in a minute. Now? It sounds like Luis is just confused about who he is and what he wants. I think we both know he'll come around but I don't think you really want to pursue something serious with him."
"I was just thinking, I could easily trade Luis for you," I said.
"You've always got me, Kenny, now that we know each other. I don't have to be on your list of most wanted. We don't need that kind of relationship. As for Brady I get the impression you're more infatuated with his body than anything else. From the way you talk about him, can't say I blame you. The real problem is Justin and his dad. Jack's the first guy who's really shown you respect for who you are. Justin sounds more like a bad habit. Or a good one."
"When you explain it that way, that's pretty much it, I guess." I was still unsure.
"I think in your heart you already know what you want."
"You to fuck me again?"
"Stop being a brat, I'm serious," he scolded me.
"It's Jack, huh?"
"I think just mentioning his name, you answered your own question." He reached around and took my hard cock in his hand and stroked my length. "Now why don't you show me you know how to use this thing?" he whispered seductively.
"Can we try that switching back and forth thing?"
"Sure."
"Since you've already got your cock inside me, and it's throbbing, why don't you fuck me first."
"Fair enough," he said as he began easing his cock back and forth through my guts. "And whoever cums first has to go get breakfast." I was up for that kind of challenge.
When Uncle Jerome dropped me off late the next afternoon we were both walking a little funny. I gave him a hug before he left and thanked him. I suggested we spend a week up at the cottage over the summer and he was all for it. He said goodbye to me and my parents and headed home. His parting words to me were, "Remember, never be ashamed of who and what you are." For some reason it made me want to cry so I just nodded and gave him one last hug.
"Well, did you get him moved in?" Mom asked when I came back into the house from telling Jerome goodbye.
"Yeah, but he might want me to help him straighten things around, and do some minor repairs," I lied. I got a cold beer out of the fridge and sat down at the table to take in the smells of supper she was cooking.
"Don't you think you should ask your father about taking a beer?" she said with a frown.
"I think I'm old enough to have a beer in my own home as long as I'm not driving."
"I'm glad you and Jerome had a chance to spend some time together. He was always a good brother, just a little confused much of the time."
"I never got the impression he was confused about much. He seemed to have his head screwed on right."
"You two get to know each other, you might be able to draw him into the family a little more."
"I'm not going to make any special effort to do that. If he wants to be more part of the family, he'll do it on his own. I'm just glad to find out he didn't not like me when I was growing up. He just doesn't know how to relate to young kids. I like him, Mom."
"Yes, I thought you would get along well," she said.
The inflection in her voice was noticeable and I think intended. She wanted to tell me, or have me tell her. I took several sips of beer, letting it trickle down my throat while I made up my mind, and tried to man-up some courage. I was so nervous I felt sick to my stomach, but I thought of Uncle Jerome's parting words; Never be ashamed of who you are.
"You?.know, don't you, Mom," I said quietly.
She didn't miss a beat stirring whatever was in the pot on the stove, and she didn't ask me what I was talking about. She knew.
"I've known for a long time, Son."
I gushed a breath of relief and quickly sucked in a fresh breath of air, trying to control my quivering lip. "You? never?.said anything."
"It wasn't my place to say anything. My goodness, what if I'd been wrong?"
"When?.w-when did you know?" I could barely get my words out. I couldn't figure out why I was getting so emotional.
"Oh, probably before you did," she said, I thought cheerfully.
"I haven't?really?." I couldn't get any more words out; I couldn't control the emotions swelling up inside me. I brought my elbows onto the table and buried my face in my hands and cried.
"Oh, now, Son, it's not the end of the world," she said. I heard her lay the spoon down and she came over to me. She put her arm around my shoulder and leaned down to kiss the side of my face, her heavy breast pressing against my shoulder. "You watch, the sun's going to come up tomorrow just like always. You've nothing to cry about. Goodness, Son, what part of 'we love you' didn't you understand?"
"Mom, I am s-so sorry," I sobbed.
She pulled the chair out on the side of the table and sat down. She took hold of both my hands in hers.
"Look at me, Kenny," she said calmly.
I let her pull my hands away from my face and she dug some tissues from her apron pocket and dabbed at my nose before I took them. I wiped my eyes then blew my nose, then she took both of my hands in hers again and held on tight.
"You listen to me. I don't want you to ever again apologize for who you are. With the help of me and your father, God created you, and He don't make junk. We love you, Son, God loves you, nothing's going to change that."
I let her hold my hands, welcoming the comfort they brought. It'd been a long time since I needed comfort from my mother.
"How could you know? I haven't known all that long. A few months," I said in a stronger voice.
"Not even a hint?" she asked.
"No, nothing that I could identify with as being??who I am." I almost said gay.
"I don't know. It would sound like a cliché to say Mothers know these things, but it's true."
"You're sort of speaking for both of you," I said. "Does Dad know, too?"
"We've talked about the possibility," she said.
I drew my hands away and put them over my face again. "That's what he was trying to talk to me about in the garage," I said. "I knew it, deep down. I kept changing the subject because I didn't want to talk about it with him. And what about my sister? Godd, she must be so embarrassed."
Mom laughed. "Actually, Lisa was the first to say it outright."
"She did! What'd she say?"
"She said, Mom, do you think Kenny might be gay?"
"Oh, godd?.Nooooo! Not my sister!"
"She's okay with it," Mom said, patting my arm. "Actually, I think she thinks it sort of neat, or something. She was awfully up about the possibility. She even said, 'If he is, I wonder when he's going to tell us.'"
I heaved a big sigh. "I think I need to talk to Dad."
"Yes. When he comes home I'll send him out to the garage. You can be out there tinkering with your car."
It wasn't easy to face my father. I was afraid he would think me less than the man he wanted in his son; or not a man at all. I believed he loved me, but I wasn't sure if he would still love me as much. I was afraid it would be a have-to kind of love, because he was stuck with me. Stuck with a defective son. I didn't know what I was going to say to him.
I went out to the garage a little before it was time for him to get home from work. The garage was hot from being closed up, even after I'd pulled my car in. I took off my shirt and raised the hood. I didn't have much of a clue about what was under the hood of a car but I wanted to be tinkering with it when he came in. I also felt a little more manly with my shirt off, showing the man the son he had produced.
I jumped when I heard him come in, and my heart thudded in my chest. He came around to the front of the car and leaned under the hood where I was replacing the cap on the washer tank.
"You find the problem?" he asked.
I laughed. "I was just topping off the washer fluid and checking the oil. Hell, Dad, I don't have a clue what's under here."
"That's what they have mechanics for," he said. "But your Mom said I should come out and see if you needed any help." He raised up, like he was going to leave. When he took a step back from the car I spoke up.
"I do need to talk to you, Dad."
He stepped back and leaned against the work bench, waiting.
"You didn't talk to Mom?"
"No, I was in the house just long enough for her to send me out here."
"I've talked to her," I began. "And I needed to tell you?.something I think you already know. I think you tried to tell me the other day when we were out here."
"I don't remember," he said.
I think he did remember but there was no need to challenge him on it.
"I don't know how else to say it, Dad?..I'm gay."
"Well??" He nodded. "I guess there aren't too many ways to say it." He turned and started messing with the tools cluttering the work bench, putting some of them away.
"Dad?.are you okay?" I asked.
"Yes. Surprised, but not so much. We sort of knew, me and your Mom. And I do remember?..I was trying to think of a way to bring it up, trying to make it easier for you to tell me."
"There is no easy way," I said. "I'm so nervous right now I'm almost sick."
He laid down the wrench he had in his hand and turned to me and laid his hand on my shoulder.
"There's no reason for you to feel that way. Nothing's changed. You're still my son. We still love you. I'm sure your mother has already told you all of that."
"Yes, she has. But I needed to hear it from you, Dad," I said as I broke out in sobs. It'd been even longer since I'd cried in front of my father. He didn't wait for me to need his comforting hand. He put his big, rough hand around my neck and pulled my face against his chest and patted my face with his other hand.
"It's nothing to cry about," he said.
"I was so afraid you would be disappointed. You probably are," I said between sobs.
"Why would I be disappointed? Your sexual preference is none of my business, nor anybody else's. I just don't want you to get hurt. I know I've been insensitive about?..the subject. I'll make you a promise right here and now. I will never tell or even laugh at another off color gay joke."
"You don't have to do that, Dad," I said, straightened up from his chest. When I swiped my nose with my forearm, he gave me his bandanna.
"Here, blow your nose."
I blew my nose and gave it back to him.
"We okay now?"
"I sure am, if you are," I said, half laughing. "Thanks."
"For what?" he asked with a shrug.
"For loving me."
He clasped his hands on my shoulders and held me in his vise-like grip. "You're welcome, but don't ever thank me again for loving you."
"All right, I won't." But then I did the boldest thing I'd ever done with my Dad. I took his face in my hands, said, "I love you, Dad," and kissed him on the check. Then I added, "Bet that's the first time you ever been kissed by a gay guy.
He smiled and said, "Get away from me," and laughed.
My sister was the easiest to tell, mainly because I didn't have to tell her. She came into my room where I was online checking out the website for the university Jack had told me about. She came and closed the door and went over and sat on my bed.
"So, you're really gay."
I did a double take, with a smiling scowl. "Has anyone ever accused you of being subtle?"
"What's to be subtle about? You're either gay or you're not. Anyway, I'm cool with it."
"Mom said you would be. Have you heard anything at school?" She was a junior.
"Should I?" she asked. "Maybe a hint of rumors," she admitted.
"What does that mean?"
"Just some kids wondering why it takes you guys so long to get out of the locker room after practice."
I laughed. "That's a rumor?" I scoffed.
"So, have you had sex with that stud deputy yet?"
"Those are not questions you should be asking," I said. "Unless you want to hear the answers."
"You have!" she screeched.
"I didn't say that."
"But you didn't say you haven't. So, I want to hear the answers."
"No," I said.
"No, what? I think you're lying. If you're gay, that hunk would bring it out."
"No, I'm not going to answer such personal questions. Now, I'm busy."
When she stood up I took her by the arm. "I don't have to tell you what will happen to you if you breathe a word to anyone. Not one word. To anyone."
"I won't. I'll wait for the movie," she said smartly.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"I'll wait till you come out."
"I won't be doing that. At least not in high school. Now, goodnight. And Sis?..I love you."
"I know.
Later I called Jack and told him that whatever he decided about retiring, I wanted to be part of it.