Knots IV Part 36

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Knots IV is about the knots we tie in our lives. It is continued story of two sixteen-year-old boys searching for their sexual and emotional identify during their junioer year in high school. Both boys struggle with doubts about their feelings for each other and the girls in their lives. Each chapter is either a first person account from the two boys, Matt and Andy, or a third person account with a camera's eye on the action in the story. 

Knots, Knots II, Knots III and Knots IV follow in sequence at the same link.

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events or locales, is purely coincidental and no slanderous intent is implied.

Contact me at eliassctt@gmail.com. I answer all e-mails.

Knots 4

Chapter 36

Andy

Ashton and I walked to the park after school, the same park where Matt and I took Emily and Gina. I hadn't been there since we double-dated with them. It just seemed like a good place to go on a hot May afternoon. School was going to be out in a week, so I began to think that Ashton and I might spend the summer together while Matt and the other gay guys tried to figure out which team they played on.

Ashton had sandy blond hair, blue/gray eyes, stood about 5'11", and was thin. I could see why they wanted him to do porn. He was a real twink, and I was anxious to see him with his clothes off. We walked into the park and sat across from each other at one of the tables. I took my shirt off hoping he'd do the same. "I'm hot. How `bout you?"

"Me too," he said as he pulled his shirt up and over his head. He had a beautiful tan and a muscular, but thin frame. He was taller than me, and while he didn't appear to weigh a lot, he seemed big because of his height. I wondered if his penis was long and thin too.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked.

"No, do you?"

"No. Matt Spence is my best friend, but we're not boyfriends."

He gave me a big smile. "Maybe we can be friends. Maybe friends with benefits. I'm new here, gay, and you could help me meet people."

"You can join the GSA. I'm president. But I'd rather have you all to myself."

A grin filled his face. "You're going a bit fast, aren't you?"

"That's the way I am. Unfortunately, it's gotten me into a lot of trouble."

"Like what?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"That bad?"

I nodded. "Afraid so."

"Well, I was doing teen porn earlier this year, so I'm probably not much better. I liked doing the porn because it's a hell of a lot safer than selling yourself."

There wasn't any way I was going to tell him I already knew that. "I think you're right. Were you pissed when you had to stop?"

"Kinda. The money was going to be good, but shit, the whole damn thing came to an end after we'd done only one shoot. I love sex, and I was pissed because doing porn was a great way to have sex with hot guys and not have to worry about getting mugged by some homophobe."

"Yeah, but you could have gone to jail."

"True. We were lucky that someone warned us."

"Yeah, you were."

He paused and then cleared his throat. "Are you interested in getting together?"

"What do you mean by getting together?"

"You know." He joined the thumb and index finger of his left hand and moved the index finger of his right hand in and out of the hole created by the thumb and index finger.

I smiled. "Yeah!" Hell, I got hard as soon as he did that. He was hot, and I figured I wasn't in a committed relationship, and I could pretty much have sex with whomever I wanted as long as I practiced safe sex.

"Where?" he asked.

"We can go to my house," I said "My parents know I'm gay, and they allow me to have sex in my room. I just have to make sure I lock the door."

Then he shocked me. "How about here?"

I blinked and rolled my eyes. "Here?"

"Yeah. It'll be hot. Nothing better to give you one of the best climaxes you've ever had when you add the fear of getting caught."

"Maybe," I said. "But what if we get caught?"

"A night in jail. That's what makes it exciting."

I looked around. There was a large clump of trees and bushes where we could probably go inside and find some protection. It was hard for me to believe I was even thinking about it, but I was horny, and Ashton was ready, willing, and fuckable. Although, I'd be happy to be fucked by him.

He saw me looking at the trees and said, "Let's head over there."

"I'm not sure. This is the kind of thing I do, and it never turns out well."

"Come on. My dick's hard and hungry for your ass."

"Same here," I said.

He stood, threw his shirt over his shoulder, and headed toward the trees. I didn't move. He turned. "Are you cumin?"

Matt

I saw Andy walking off campus with the new kid, Ashton. I felt a little jealous. But then, as my mom and dad would say, "You made your bed, now lay in it.", I felt I brought this on myself. Yeah, it's an old saying, but it sure drives the point home.

What really pissed me off is that Andy came by my house after he and Ashton had sex in the park.

"I don't want to hear about it," I said.

"But I gotta tell you. It was so fucking hot. There we were in public, well, kinda in public, sucking and fucking. I've never felt so alive and so turned on."

"I told you I don't want to hear about it."

He shrugged. "You're my best friend. Who else can I tell?"

"You have a point there, but...but..."

"But nothing. I gotta tell ya."

I rolled my eyes and sat down on my bed. "Okay, if you have to."

He remained standing and animated. "I do. I never thought I'd ever do it. But Ashton is hot. We both took our shirts off and were talking at one of the tables when he suggested we could be friends with benefits. And on top of it, he wanted us to fuck right there in the park. No foreplay. No waiting to get to know each other better. But can you believe it. Right there in the park! He got up and headed toward the clump of trees and bushes. I wanted to follow him and not follow him at the same time. It's gotten so I just expect things to turn to shit no matter what I do. He didn't make it easy to say no. He threw his shirt over his shoulder, giving me a chance to look at his beautiful, smooth, tanned back as he headed to the trees. All he said was, `Are you cumin?'

"I didn't move at first, but in my head I heard, What the hell!!! and followed him into the trees. You could see people out on the street and in the park, but no one was looking for two guys fucking around in the trees. My heart was pumping hard, and my cock filled with so much blood I thought it was going to explode as Ashton pulled my pants down and began sucking on it. I started to moan, and he pulled off long enough to say, `keep it down.'

"I kept looking around to see if anyone could see us. The whole public sex thing made it so fucking scary and exhilarating all at the same time. Soon we were both naked, and all I could think about was how in the fuck we'd be able get our clothes on fast enough if someone saw us and headed over to see what was going on. He didn't seem to care. I guess that came from working in front of a camera. He began to suck me, and the air on my skin and the fact I could see people walking around through the trees was so fucking awesome. We changed places and I sucked him while stroking my own cock. I thought I was going to cum for sure before we even had a chance to fuck."

"Stop it, Andy. I don't want to hear anymore," I said. "What you do with other guys is fine, but I don't want to hear all the details."

"Fuck you, Matt. You're going to listen. You're the one who doesn't want to be in a committed relationship, so you're just going to have to listen."

I wanted to walk away, but we were at my house and in my room. Where was I going to go? "Okay. Hurry up."

"Damn, Matt. Public sex is so awesome. It's a lot different than fucking at the pond. I know it's possible to get caught because you and Emily and the rest of the gang caught Dillon and me fucking, but you don't see real people walking all around while you're having sex. Plus Ashton has one hot body and a nice dick. Bigger than yours of course."

"Fuck you, Andy."

"Just joking. Soon he had his dick covered, lubed, and in my ass. The air felt just awesome on my skin as he pumped his cock in and out of my ass. I hated to tell him to stop, but I wanted to fuck him too. He hesitated and then said, `I guess if we're going to be fuck buddies, it has to go both ways.' I glanced around and saw some guy staring our way. I pointed, Ashton looked, and the guy walked off. The thing is, who's going to be brave enough to come over and see if we're fucking. That was the cool thing about it."

I shook my head. "Maybe so, unless it's a policemen who's going to get you for fucking in public. Then you'll find yourself in the same shit you always find yourself in."

"Matt, you worry too much. I just can't explain how awesome it was. I stuck my dick in Ashton's ass, and it felt so awesome out there in the open, knowing that people might see us. It was like I had superpowers."

I laughed. "Superpowers?"

"Yeah. Like I was invisible. Actually, like we were both invisible. Thank God he had condoms because I was so horny I might have been happy to fuck without them. I came in his ass, and it took everything in my power to keep from yelling, fuck and shit and this is so fucking hot. We didn't move for almost a minute, just savoring the warm cum in the condom and the tight feeling in his ass. Then, like it was nothing, he said, `Okay. My turn.' He put his cock back into my ass, and it was like we were starting all over again, when in fact, we were almost done."

"I wish you were done. It's killing me to listen to this shit," I said.

"It could have been you. Are you game?"

"Fuck you, Andy. I'm not going to fuck in the park. It's scary enough at the pond."

"Damn, Matt. You're a coward. You don't know what you're missing."

"Maybe not, but hopefully I've learned my lesson. I can't take all the stress. The problem is you get high on this shit. Didn't you learn anything from talking with Dr. Walker? I guess not."

He finally sat down at my desk. "Look. Dr. Walker never said anything about having sex."

"Yeah, but he did talk about taking chances and doing stupid things."

"Matt, this wasn't stupid. It was just fun and hot. I can't even explain how cool it was having sex in the park while knowing all the time we could get caught."

"Okay. Okay. I understand. But I'm not going to do it. I'm trying to change my life."

He got a pissed off look on his face. "Yeah, by dating Megan. Aren't I good enough for you?"

That was the first time I realized I'd hurt him. Here I was acting all cool as if I was better than Andy, but I'd hurt him and wasn't better than him at all.

"Andy, it's not like that. I love you. You are my best friend. It has nothing to do with you. You are good enough. But I'm not ready. I don't particularly like that bullshit you hear people say about a young person coming of age or trying to find himself, but I am trying to find out who I really am. That's only possible if I try a lot of things, and dating Megan is one of them. We will always have us. But for now, it just can't be."

"You're so screwed up, Matt. I know who you are. You're Matt Spence. You should know that by now."

"I'm not talking about knowing my name. Of course, we all know our names. I want to know more about the person inside and who he might become."

He stood up and ignored my last statement. "You have no guarantee that we'll always have us. You don't know what the future holds. I need to find myself too, and I'm doing that. We're friends and will always be friends, but you need to be happy for me."

I stood, walked up to him, hugged him, and held onto him as I talked into his ear. "I am happy for you. And believe it or not, I'm jealous. I envy your courage and even your willingness to take chances. But you need to be happy for me too. We're both trying to find our way in this stupid world. We've taken some wrong turns and gone to some bad places. I don't want to do that again. I'm taking a safer road. You should too."

He pulled away. "Matt, we're not the same people. Each of us has to find our own way. I'm finding it hard to accept your way, and obviously you are having trouble accepting mine. But if we're going to remain friends, then we'll have to. I want to be able to come and talk to you about my life and share my experiences. You need to do the same with me. I understand it will be hard for both of us. But if Dr. Walker taught us anything, it's that we need to talk about these things."

I gave him a big smile and a fake punch on the chin. "Andy, you surprise me with your wisdom sometimes. But don't forget, part of being friends is watching out for each other. If it wasn't for me, you'd have been caught in an underage porn ring. Don't forget that. You are a chance taker because you have a need for that adrenaline rush, but it's dangerous. I promise to listen to you even if I don't want to hear it. You need to do the same with me. Can we agree?"

He stuck his hand out to shake, and I just pulled him in for a hug. "I love you, Andy, and I always will. Don't forget that."

"Same here," he said.

Thomas

Thomas fretted the whole week before his date with Megan on Saturday. He understood guys, and sex with a guy seemed natural and normal to him. He couldn't figure out why he even thought about having sex with Megan. After all, he was just going on a date. All he had to do was take her to the movies, have a bite to eat, take her home, and say goodbye. Simple enough, except for a guy who had a tendency to think too much.

He also had trouble sleeping all week, in addition to arguing with Colt for making the stupid bet in the first place. Colt took it in stride and thought it was funny that Thomas was so worried, which of course pissed Thomas off. Finally Colt suggested he ask Zoe out and they double-date. Thomas would have liked the company, but he didn't want Colt going out with Zoe, so he said no. Colt begged him to agree to it, but Thomas refused. By Friday, he and Colt were barely speaking. Colt was so pissed that he asked Zoe out anyway.

Colt called Thomas. "I know you don't want to double-date, but I decided to ask Zoe out without your permission. It's too bad we can't go together, but you're being fucking unreasonable, and you'll just have to accept that I asked Zoe out."

"I don't have to accept it. We had a bet. I won. You're not honoring the bet."

"You're wrong, Thomas. The deal was that if you won, you'd have to go out with Megan. I don't remember anything about me not going out with Zoe. So you're wrong. I'm still willing to double-date, so let me know if you're interested. If not, Zoe and I are going someplace where we can fuck our brains out."

"You're an asshole, Colt. You have no intention of doing that, and it pisses me off to hear to say it."

"Thomas, you take life too seriously. Of course I was joking. But I'm serious about double-dating. It's safer for both of us. That way we'll still get to go out with a couple of girls. It'll be fun. If you really love me, you'll understand."

There was silence for a few moments. "I do love you, but it scares me."

"Scares you?"

"Yeah, what if you prefer Zoe over me?"

Colt let out a loud laugh. "You must be kidding. She doesn't have a beautiful cock like you. She's nice like you, and that's what I really love about you. Well, one of the things. I also love your beautiful ass and your smooth well-shaped legs. I love holding them in my hands, licking them, sucking them, and rubbing them. You have nothing to worry about."

"We'll see," Thomas said hesitantly.

"So, are we going to double or not?"

"I guess we better double so I can keep an eye on you. And don't run off somewhere with Zoe when the night is over."

"Okay. I promise."

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Chapter Quotes

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. – President Franklin Roosevelt

If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles. - Sun Tzu

If we are to learn about fear, we must not escape from it. - ES

I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death. -- Thomas Paine

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If you like this story, contact me at eliassctt@gmail.com I answer all emails.

I'd like to thank Lisa for taking the time to edit Knots 1, 2, 3, & 4. As the author, I take final responsibility for all parts of the story, including any errors.

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events or locales, is purely coincidental and no slanderous intent is implied.