And here's another one. I wasn't gonna just leave you hangin' like that! That would have just been cruel. The story is mine, don't steal it, blah blah blah...
Thanks to my fans (oh how I LOVE typing that...) for the encouragement! Enjoy.
If you'd like to fan my ego, or take it down a notch, or volunteer as a beta reader/editor (shameless advertising...) hit me up at: maspgurl@yahoo.ca
Forgiveness- A Kim & Carin Story
By Mas
I was on autopilot. My heart felt like lead. Carin hadn't called me or emailed me or texted me in a week and I was slowly going insane with wondering and questioning. What in the hell did I do? Did my ignorance cause us to fall apart? How could this even happen?
It all started from something as mundane as a crush. Now Carin was gone...but she couldn't be! She came in and got her school bag and books when I was at class. That was like a blow to me.
She didn't even want to see me.
I remembered when I first realized that she may have had feelings for me. She mentioned how other people liked me that she knew, teasing me about them and trying to see if I liked any of the names and faces she threw at me. The only thought running through my head at the time was how much I liked her. Up until that point her sexuality was still a mystery to me. Little did she know I caught on to something, a hint, in the way she asked what I looked for in someone. Her use of the word "someone" made my heart beat pound in my ears.
I described someone who sounded a lot like her without saying her. Until this day I still have no idea if she caught on to my little hints in that conversation.
But she was all that I ever wanted in someone and more. The tears started again and all I could do was curl up in my bed and hope that they stopped soon and finally allow me to sleep.
I decided to do what I did best. I had no idea what else to do. I took a picture of her lounging in bed weeks ago and spent like 10 minutes just gazing at it. Then I sat in my bed and wrote what I felt for her and how sorry I was.
I know what she saw, though it was far from the truth, and it hurt that she didn't trust me enough to listen to my explanation; I understood why she was sad.
At 8pm I found myself at her door. Kathy told me she was in her room so I just nodded my head and gave her the letter.
"Jus' make sure she gets it okay?" I turned away before she could reply, missing the sorrowful look in her eyes.
"He's such an ass," my communications class just ended and I was happy. The guy who taught it thought he was god's gift to Communications. My classmate nodded her head.
"What you doin' tonight Kim?" One of my friends asked. We stood in front of the building, a few pulling out cigarettes as if their lives depended on it.
"Oh you know, chillin'" I slipped my hand into my pocket. I knew that she liked me. Yasmine. Yasmine was very hot. Yasmine could be a Dolce and Gabana model easily. Yasmine was not Carin though.
"You should catch a movie with us," she said. They knew that Carin and I were having problems, though no one asked right out.
"Yeah Kim, come on," Nadia prodded. I shook my head, already preparing to watch a movie, do homework then think about Carin until I fell asleep again and woke up. All of this I planned on doing alone. It was a cycle that I was very comfortable with.
"Or come with me to that new art show downtown." Yasmine rested her hand on my arm and stepped closer. I looked at her hand about to respond when I felt the hair at the back of my neck rise. There was only one person who made my body respond like that.
I looked up and my face lit up brighter than it had in the last two weeks.
"Carin," I stepped away from them to the woman standing quietly looking at me with a mixture of emotions moving over her face. She smiled at me. Her eyes looked tired but their honey color still made my knees weak.
Her jeans were tight and showed off her shape to perfection. She wore a loose shirt that revealed a soft, shapely shoulder. Her hair flowed down her back and looked shiny and healthy. The fact was, Carin looked absolutely beautiful and my eyes were starved of her and couldn't stop raking over her body.
I stopped only when I saw a blush rising from her chest. It reminded me of the sunrise.
"Kim, you comin' or stayin'?" Nadia knew the answer to that once she saw where my eyes were focused. She said that she'd see me around. I think that I responded to her. Not that I'd care if I didn't, Carin was in the front of me, smiling at me, looking just as sad and broken as I felt.
"Carin," I repeated when we stood facing each other in the busy walkway. She smiled then reached into her pocket and unfolded a paper.
Confusion filled my eyes until I realized that it was the letter I wrote it. The very thought revealing letter that I wrote. She stepped closer to me as she opened it up. Her voice low so that it would only reach my ears and began to read.
"...everyday feels like forever in a bad way. Everything is slow now. I miss you so much baby. I miss touching you and loving you 'til you fall asleep then loving you 'til you wake up. I miss feeling my heart beat..." she read the words quietly in front of me.
She was now a mere foot from me. I watched her lips as she read. My eyes roamed over her face to her neck, her breasts, gently curving under her blouse then up to her slender neck again, seeing the pulse ramming against her skin as if begging release. I wanted her even more now, needed her. I couldn't pull away the image of her in my arms, beneath me...I tried, but I couldn't. My embarrassment made me lower my eyes. I studied our shoes in the silence.
"Did you mean those words?" She asked. I looked up, hopeful at what I saw in her eyes.
"With all my heart Carin. I'm sorry I hurt you." My eyes pleaded with her. I saw the tears hanging onto her lashes. "I'd do anything to get you back. I'd do anything, I miss you so, so much."
"I miss you to Kim." Her soft confession made my heart pound even more. I took her hand and placed it over the overactive organ.
"This is the hardest that's been workin' since that night." She stepped closer until her hands gripped my shirt and pulled me to her. Our lips touched gently. I was mildly surprised that she did this in public, but then I didn't care and released her hand to hug her as my lips reacquainted themselves with hers. Every part of my body seemed to flare up with life.
My tongue gently slipped into her mouth and rubbed against hers, pulling hers into a sensual dance.
"I'm sorry," she said between kisses. "I'm sorry Kim," she buried her face into my neck and I wiped at her tears as I held her close.
"Shhh," I said as I held her to me. I smiled down into her face, running my fingers over her smooth, soft skin. I took her hand and turned towards home.
She slipped her arm around my waist and leaned into me. We both released deep sighs together as we quietly walked to my place. The city around us disappeared; our eyes were only for each other.
When we entered the apartment I didn't waste any time. I missed her presence in my life too much to ask silly questions.
My lips turned to hers as soon as the door was locked. I walked her backwards until her back hit the wall then I boosted her up to wrap her legs around my waist. My tongue hunted hers then I groaned when I found it.
Hands roamed searchingly over clothed skin until clothes began to be urgently removed.
"Jeans Kim, jeans..." I allowed her to slide down my body to unbutton her jeans. I quickly slipped them off her hips with her panties, my nose flaring at the scent of her arousal.
Our bodies met again, hers naked mine halfway there if not for my jeans that rode low on my hips unbuckled, ready to go. I just had to touch her.
My hands moved over her breasts gently, reverently. "I missed you so much," my voice cracked with emotion but I didn't care. She held me closer as my lips found her nipple. I sucked her deeply into my mouth and moaned as her back arched in pleasure, seeking more.
"Yes, Kim...Kim...Kim..." came the chanting as the rhythm of my mouth began to match her hips that moved against my stomach. My mouth began to seek out the other nipple as my fingers moved down to her hips to massage the firm flesh.
"So soft," then my fingers moved to her center and her body stilled. "So wet..." I murmured. My lips moved up to her neck and began to suckle. Her hips moved against my hand and I spread my legs more to hold her firmly between the wall and my body.
I slipped my fingers into her and sighed when her walls closed around me in slick, wet heat. "I want you to come against me," I whispered into her ear. Her shiver made me smile, then I pulled back to look into her eyes.
"I missed this Carin, loving you," she whimpered as my fingers began to move slowly inside of her. "I only find peace when I'm inside you, loving you." I moved my hand to her stomach and slid my finger down, leaving a trail of her essence until I was inside her again. Then I was pumping into her.
Her body was grinding against my hand; her upper lip had drops of sweat that I licked away. I watched her eyes lose their focus as she seemed focused on what was happening inside of her body.
"Beautiful," I murmured then slowed my hand to a rhythm that her hips moved to. My thumb pressed gently on her clit. A spasm moved through her. Then I firmly began to move over the hardened nub as my fingers pumped inside of her slowly, pulling out every ounce of pleasure.
I felt her tense around me then relax. Then she was riding the wave of her orgasm. Riding my fingers and soaking them with her essence.
"Oh God Kim!" She shouted as she came hard against me. Holding me close as her hips frantically pounded against me, then stilled.
"I have you baby, I always have you Carin." I held her close as her heart slowed and held her tighter as I pushed away from the wall on shaky legs. I somehow managed to walk into my darkened room. "My Carin, my Carin..." my words and her sobs filled the otherwise quiet room.
When I finally lay on the bed she untangled herself from me and gazed down at me. "I've been a fool," my eyes were already denying the statement but she placed a finger over my lips. My tongue immediately slipped out and pulled the digit into my mouth.
She moaned and took it back. Fingers moved over my breast, making me moan then slid down to my stomach and rose and dipped over the muscles there.
"I miss kissing these abs." She kissed each one then kissed my breasts gently. "I missed you and know I hurt you Kim."
"I hurt you too. It's not one sided," my hands moved through her hair soothingly as she rested her head against my chest.
"I didn't know what to do or think. Then Kathy and Jinny spoke to me for real." She ran her fingers down my side to the top of my jeans then up again. "I hated seeing her lips against yours Kim. I hated it." I felt the tears on my skin and immediately pulled her up until her face hovered over mine.
"I never kissed her Carin. She saw you and wanted to separate us."
"I know, I know that now and wish I handled it better." Her lips kissed mine. I could kiss her all my life and never lack of anything. I swear that her kisses would sustain me.
"I've been so lonely without you Kim," she kissed me again and her hands moved down to my jeans and slid inside to touch me over my underwear. "I have to get use to women wanting you."
"Like I don't burn up when I see other women looking at you sometimes," I said opening my legs wider for her hands.
"Oh? You notice women noticing me do you?" Her hands moved up to slide under my panties. I bit my lower lip to keep from shouting out.
"Oh yeah, little skanky ass hoes." She looked up at me and laughed.
"Someone's been listening to Jinny to much," her fingers parted my lips and began to move up and down the slick folds. Soon my hips followed as if it had a life of its own. "I had to fall for someone so unaware of her sexiness." She murmured then shimmied down my body and pulled my jeans off.
The next moment I felt her lips on me. Tugging at my clit urgently. "Oh Jesus!" I shouted and opened my legs as she positioned her body by grabbing my legs and lifting them over her shoulders. Her hands moved up to hold down my stomach.
Then her tongue moved. It made a complete sweep of me and I nearly passed out. She did it again and again, and then made love to me with her tongue. It was slow and sweet. She seemed to be lapping me up, trying to pull every ounce of pleasure from my body. From my very cells.
Her tongue then moved up and kissed me gently before taking my clit again. Licking it softly then pulled it into her mouth to flick it with her tongue.
My hands tangled in her hair and pressed her closer to me. I felt her fingers at my entrance and my hips began to move frantically as she teased me.
"Carin baby..." she smiled into me then her fingers slipped into me and stilled as she continued to suck me.
Then she moved with her mouth and I began to move with her. She went faster and harder and I moved faster and grinded into her. Her soft, hot tongue was taking me higher and higher until I thought I'd faint. It felt so damn good...
"Come for me Kim." The command seemed to be all that I was waiting for because I was shouting out her name as if it would save me a moment later. I clutched her closer to me as she lapped up every drip that she could.
"Carin..." I begged softly, then she stopped and kissed my still quivering flesh. Her body moved up and then her lips were against mine.
I groaned when I tasted myself on her. She pulled back and gazed at me. "You're beautiful." I pulled her close and closed my eyes.
"Thank you. But I can't compare," my sleepy voice replied. Fingers slowly roamed over heated skin as lazy hips pressed into each other. Soon we were hot again and groaning out into the darkness. I love you's quietly filled the darkness as we both drifted off to sleep wrapped tightly around each other.
"Do you forgive me Kim?" She asked drowsily.
"Only if you forgive me too."
I kissed her neck and held her promising to never let anyone or anything separate us again.