The flight attendant waddled down the aisle, her huge ass barely able to fit between the rows of seat.
"You'd think that the airline would want to save on fuel or something and only hire skinny ones." Brett whispered into my ear.
I tried to contain my laughter, but found the attempt to be futile.
"Want me to call her over here so you can get a closer look?" I asked jokingly as I reached up to the call button, "I noticed you've been eyeing her the whole flight."
"Dude, don't you dare." He warned in his tough guy voice.
I loved watching him squirm. I placed my finger lightly on the button.
"Fucking asshole" he said playfully under his breath. I gave him a whack on the back of the head.
"Don't you think you should treat the guy with his finger on the button a little better?" I pressed it in and heard a ding in the back of the cabin.
Brett's face softened from its previously serious expression. As the flight attendant scooted over to us I felt an elbow in my side and instantly knew he was up to something.
"Um... hi. My buddy here was just wondering if you have any magazines to read." he quietly asked.
"Sure hun, what's he looking for?" She bent over to dig through her cart making her enormous butt stick up in the air like a duck looking for fish. I strained not to laugh.
Brett looked at me, smiled, and answered "He's a big fan of Playboy."
'You bitch!' I thought. The flight attendant shot me a cold look.
"We don't have that sir. Would he be interested in a National Geographic instead?"
"No. Thank you." Brett graciously declined. The flight attendant waddled back down the aisle to her seat.
He was so a dead man. I couldn't think of how at the moment, but at some point I would get him back. My face was red and I could feel the back of my neck tingling with embarrassment. The lady across the way looked at me cautiously before averting her eyes. I was pissed beyond belief and he knew it.
Acting more smug then usual Brett put his hand on my knee and grinned from ear to ear. "Always lookin' out for your best interest bud."
I smiled sarcastically before turning away to glance out the window. Through the breaks in the clouds speckled patches of light dotted the ground like stars. It was so beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. Kind of like Brett. I leaned my head against the plexiglass barrier and thought of the huge changes that occurred in my life this week.
I thought of Robby, and my tender introduction into his... my world. I had no idea when I stepped into that alley behind the bar with him that I was about to be changed forever. He was so sweet. For the first time, someone actually told me that everything I felt inside was normal. That there were plenty of people out there that were gay, and unlike what I had heard all of my life, there was nothing wrong with that. They weren't dirty or laden with disease. They were guys just like me. Robby was my first gay crush, lover, and friend. I recalled our first passionate kiss in the dark, and my eager attempt at sucking his dick. Then later, him mine.
I got a quick pang of anxiety when I remembered the moment that I realized we were being watched. Man, seeing Brett up there staring at us scared the shit out of me. Little did I know.
For a second I wondered what it must have been like for him. Seeing me with a guy. I imagine it must have been quite a shock. Did he feel the loneliness I had experienced for so long? Or was it anger? I tried to put myself in his position and realized that it must have caused him a world of hurt. Was that the reason he hit the mirror? I leaped to make connections that just hours earlier seemed insignificant. He really did love me. All this time we have been so close together, yet at the same time, so far apart. I guess we have both felt the pain of hidden desire, and the ecstasy of its release.
Speaking of pain, I thought back to yesterday morning.
"Fuck my ass hurts." I said quietly to Brett as I laid on the floor with him, my head gently resting on his chest.
"I imagine it would." He responded sorrowfully. He was still having a hard time accepting the fact that he had hurt me. I told him it was no big deal, that it was an act of passion, but he wasn't buying. And my winces and grumbling weren't selling either!
"So how long have you known you were a queer?" he asked. I thought for a moment.
"Since I was about fourteen." I returned.
"No shit! That's about the age when I nailed Amy for the first time." he said with an inquisitive look.
"I know," I grinned "I remember you telling me every detail."
That was absolute torture. He just kept on going on and on about it. How it felt, what he did, what she did. That had truly been a record setting week for me. I must have jerked off three times a day, every day, until my dick was too sore to continue.
"And how did you know for sure?" he questioned further.
"Well, honestly... a lot of it had to do with you. When we would play around after school, you know football and stuff. Well, you always ended up half naked from the heat, and I always ended up hornier then hell and imagining you with even less on." I was embarrassed to say this, but what did it matter now.
"Oh fuck," he smiled "You should just asked and I more than happily would have obliged."
I couldn't figure out if he was joking or not, but really didn't want to ask. Those years in school were incredibly difficult for me. Between the pressures put on me from my family, and from my peers, I really felt like I couldn't be me. I was always hiding something, and it hurt. I graduated high school and I had no idea who, or what, I was. Just a composite of what other people wanted me to be.
"What about you?" I asked, "What's your deal?"
He shifted beneath me, and I felt his muscles tense.
"I don't know... I have always loved you like a brother, but since I freshman year..." he paused. "I guess I just, you know, started seeing you differently. I knew I was thinking about you a lot more than normal... and it scared me. And then last night..."
"Do you really want to get rid of all this, to forget it like you said" I asked cautiously, not sure how far I could go without upsetting him.
He sighed, "No. No, I want to remember this. I just wish I knew what to do about all this shit in my head."
I sat up and leaned against the base of the bed.
"I don't want anything to happen to our friendship Brett. I don't want this to change anything." I said looking down into his eyes.
"I wouldn't let it happen." He said reassuringly.
I thought for a moment about how impossible this really was. Things would never be normal If we both knew that we were madly in love with one another but unable to express it. He would probably be fine with having two relationships. A public one with some bimbo and a private one with me. Unfortunately, I wouldn't. There wasn't a chance in the world I was gonna keep on lying. I was out now, and there was no way I was being pushed back in.
"Brett, I gotta make sure you know something." I said seriously, "I am not going back home the way I left. I'm gonna return out and proud. I am not gonna hide it any longer." anticipating his concerns I continued, "And if that means you can't hang out with me any more, then I am sorry, but I'm not willing to sacrifice the rest of my life to make someone else happy, not my parents, not my friends, not even you. I finally found myself, and I never want to be lost again."
He closed his eyes and thought about my words.
"I want you to know this because I care about you more then anything, and no matter which path you choose in your own life, I want you to continue to be part of mine." I rubbed my hand across his belly and he looked at me.
"The keyword is choose." He said. "Isn't the decision already made for me?"
"No way! I will never ever say a word of what we did, or said today to anyone. I know what kind of shit you would have to deal with. It sucks. Not a chance I would throw you out to the wolves if you didn't feel ready for it."
I was more then willing to hold this secret for him. Hell, I lived in the closet for a decade before I figured out what I was gonna do. I just knew though, that eventually he would have to face his feelings and decide if our relationship meant enough to him to make it public. To let the world know that we shared a connection so deeply seeded in our hearts that no matter what kind of adversity it threw at us, our love would always prevail. I really didn't expect it to happen that way... but I could always dream.
The plane banked sharply as it made its final approach. I got a jolt of pain in my butt as I slid back into the seat
"Ooh" I said quietly, tightly gripping my arm rest. Brett noticed my tension and gave me a concerned look.
"I'm fine, just a little... tender." I whispered.
I looked back out the window into the dark night. Below us the lights of the city began to come into view.
"Wow" I whispered to myself. Words could not begin to express the beauty I was bearing witness to.
I looked down at the oil refineries, the freight yards and the dots of light on the expressway. I don't know why but the city just seemed to look more spectacular, more vivid and full of life then I ever remember seeing it. I felt a hand slide over on top of mine and knew without looking it was Brett's. Discreetly, we held hands, just below the eye level of the other passengers. I turned to face him.
"We're home." I said with a smile. I don't know why, but a wave of sadness seemed to pass over me.
Brett leaned into me and looked out the window. The tall buildings of Manhattan slid below us as the plain glided towards Laguardia. The flight attendant began talking on the overhead speakers, but I wasn't listening. I did not want to forget these last moments of our trip. His warm body stretched across mine. The smell of his hair. The beautiful coloring of the back of his neck. I wondered if things really would be the same, or if this was the anticlimactic end to our friendship.
He shifted back into his cushiony seat and sighed. The plane grumbled as the landing gear left its resting place and the wing flaps slid into their landing position.
"Brett," I said, "Thank You. I will never forget the time we spent together this week."
He looked at me for a moment and it felt like time stood still. Then, in front of the fat flight attendant, the beady eyed lady across the way, all the other passengers, and the eyes of the world around us, he leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. As our mouths parted he smiled peacefully.
"Neither will I Matt. Ever."
The End
Well, there you go folks. That's it! I gotta say, I really enjoyed writing this story and I am honestly amazed at the response I have gotten. Thank you so much for sticking with me till the end.
Sam (samsam345@gmail.com)