Note: This is strictly a work of fiction. Any resemblance to person, living or dead, or any situation that has occurred in the past is strictly coincidental.
Kevin and I - Part 1 By Terry Cromwell
I couldn't believe it. I was back in the City of Lights after such a long time away. I had always promised myself that someday my permanent residence would have a view on the Eiffel Tower, but alas, schedules and career obligations had kept me from doing so. I had made great strides towards that goal, three years earlier, by buying into a restaurant there. Paris had remained exactly as I had discovered it some ten years earlier. It had survived the New Millennium without losing any of its charm. I had fallen in love with the city over a decade ago, and was now returning to some old stomping grounds that had seen many of my firsts, including my only true love.
Had it already been 10 years since it all happened? Who would have thought things would turn out this way?
The year was 1999 and I had just completed a stint in Chicago, the musical. I headed to Paris for some well deserved R&R.
I wasn't there for more than two hours, when I bumped into my old friend Corey, a fellow Canadian now living in Paris and running a popular restaurant. He invited me to dinner and proceeded to convince me to do a couple of shows with his big band orchestra. The offer was tempting, but I also knew that - as proven during my run in Chicago - that guys my age sang different stuff than my usual French repertoire. You see, back then, boy bands were the craze, and from Backstreet Boys to Nsynch, bubblegum pop populated the charts. He assured me that I would be a tremendous hit, and with a little ego flattering, I accepted.
This was much different than doing a musical. I now had the hard chore of putting together three sets combining popular and classic hits. The more songs I went through, the more songs I wanted to sink my teeth into. As I did so, I was flooded with memories of my childhood, and was very much looking forward to these shows.
The great evening finally arrived, and I took my place center-stage backed by the big band orchestra. The songs poured out of me as if I had been meant to perform them and I even found myself talking to the audience in between songs, and relating tales of my childhood. The evening was a fabulous success, if I do say so myself, and afterwards, I sat at the bar, as patrons congratulated me.
After a short while the restaurant crowd began to dissipate and I found myself alone, finishing my drink. As I turned away from the bar, ready to leave, I noticed a patron sitting alone in the semi-darkness He lifted his glass to me, and I nodded. I approached. My curiosity and my ego having gotten the best of me. As I neared, he looked familiar and I struggled to remember where I had seen him before, and then, as I got nearer, I realized, to my dismay, that it was none other than one of the members of one of the boy bands that I detested so.
He detected the look on my face and gave me a quizzical look. He spoke first.
- Your show was amazing. - Thank you, I replied coldly, I'm surprise you liked it - And why would that be? - Because I didn't think you knew music. "
He threw me a look, since he had heard that criticism before, from other "so-called" serious artists.
"- I'm sorry, I continued, I am usually a little more gracious when someone pays me a compliment. - I'm not a big fan of the musical theatre either but I still respected your work in Chicago. - How do you know...(?) - I'm not here by accident. I heard you were performing here tonight. - I don't know what to say... - When was it exactly that you decided that you hated our music. - I don't know... when I heard the very first single off your very first album. - In the past six years, have you not grown as an artist? - Of course. Who wouldn't? - Who wouldn't. Exactly. So why are you so quick to assume we haven't either? Have you listened to our latest CD? - I can't say that I have. - Then you can't know for sure that we truly suck as much as you think we do, and if you are willing to keep an open mind, I am willing to bet that I can convince you that we don't. - You believe in miracles? - That's what you call an open mind? - So what do you propose?
In a flash, we were in a limousine heading back to my hotel. When we entered my suite, I poured us both a drink while he proceeded directly to my portable stereo and put on the latest of their recordings. I came back to the sitting room and joined him as he sat on the floor. We listened to the entire CD and I had to admit that their material had shown growth and maturity. He then took my guitar that was leaning against the wall nearby and started strumming it. I was amazed when he started playing some classical stuff, and then, proceeded to serenade me. He put the guitar down after what seemed like moments but truly was an hour. Three drinks later, we were both sprawled on the floor laughing at yet another one of my coming of age stories. I got up to get another drink and he grabbed my arm.
- If you don't want another drink, all you have to do is say "no" - It's not that, he replied, with a smile. I guess I should get going. - It's really late, are you sure you want to go out there at this time of night? - Are you suggesting I stayed? - I'm only suggesting that maybe you shouldn't leave.
By now we were standing and facing each other. I continued:
- In fact, I think you should do exactly what you want to do, right this minute. - And what would you do if I did exactly what I want to do?
By then, our bodies were so close that I could feel the heat from him, and he was staring right into my eyes. So I replied, in a whisper: - I wouldn't stop you from doing something that you really want to do.
He leaned in slowly and inches away from my plump, wet lips, he stopped and said. - I really want to kiss you right now...
And then he leaned in further until our lips touched. Tentatively at first and then, much more assertively, as I tasted the scotch on his lips and on his breath. He opened his mouth and snaked his tongue between my lips, parting them, and then exploring the recesses of my mouth as we embraced in this long, passionate kiss. Our hands roamed each others body sensually, betraying the urgent desire we felt for one another. I had to have all of him, there and then. He broke away from the kiss first and smirked at me mischievously. - I guess I should go now.
I looked back at him and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back towards me.
- You're not going anywhere Mister. - Is that so, Mr. Cromwell? - Are you objecting?
We started kissing passionately, again, and this time more passionately than ever. I broke the kiss this time.
- We can't really do this. It would be career suicide? I said, catching my breath. - This is not Notting Hill, you are not Hugh Grant, and I am definitely not Julia Roberts. Now! Which one of these doors leads to your bedroom? - Kevin, are you trying to ... - Trying to get you naked and in bed? Yes.
With that, he grabbed me by the shirttail and led me to the bedroom.
Once inside, we kissed again, as I started unbuttoning his shirt. His chest was a marvel of muscled pecs, pointy nipples and washboard stomach. I whistled softly at the sight and then homed in on his nipples, sucking on one, then the other. He moaned softly as I lightly bit on his nipple and started to unbuckle his belt. He stopped me and pulled me up for another long kiss.
- I am not going anywhere, he said, and I want to make love to you right now, and take you. But we don't have to rush it.
He kissed me again, and this time, he started undoing the buttons of my shirt and pushed it off my shoulders. He stood back just slightly, never leaving my lips, and undid the buttons of my jeans, as I did the same to his. He pushed my jeans down and then my boxers, which I kicked off from my ankles as he did the same with his. We were both standing there, naked and pulled away from each other. Our longing glare from each other's head to toe were met with amazement, and like two magnets, we found ourselves in each other's arms and fell to the bed right behind me, his body fully covering mine.
We kissed for hours, and ground our bodies together, discovering the various curves and nooks of each other's frames with our finger. We laid there, kissing for hours and the last thing I remember from that night that night was spooning with my back to him, as he kissed my neck.
When the morning sun tugged at my bed sheets, I woke feeling like the previous night had been a dream. But then reaching over behind me, I felt a warm body, and when I turned, I saw an angel sleeping. Kevin was by my side, and although we had not gone further than kissing and exploring each other's bodies with our hands, I felt like a connection was made that no orgasm could have surpassed. He stirred from his sleep moments later and I was greeted with a smile that confirmed that my feelings were not unilateral.
We had breakfast in my suite, on my bed, and then separated to go to our respective rehearsals, as his group was performing four consecutive sold out concerts in Paris, and I had two more nights at the restaurant. That night, my performance was tweaked by something that one could quickly associate with being in love, although I would have denied it if I had been asked, but never before, I had been so anxious to leave the restaurant after the show. I reached my hotel suite and got in the shower before Kevin arrived. When he did, I had a bottle of champagne chilled, a bowl of strawberries and cheese from the world sprawled out. Kevin arrived, exhausted from his show that night. No sooner was the door closed that we went for each other's lips, and removed each other's clothes. The shyness of the previous evening had dissipated and was replaced by unadulterated lust.
The trail of clothing from the living room to my bedroom told the story, and as we laid on the bed together, we could no longer hold back. We kissed passionately, as our hands roamed over each other's bodies. Our tongues fought a duel until I broke the kiss, only to find my lips trailing down his body, first stopping on his neck, and then trailing down to his chest, his nipples, first one and then the other, and finally down his abs, his navel and then finding the prized jewels, fully erect, awaiting my first taste. I shied away from his rigid cock to take in the musky man aroma, while covering his shaft with a condom, as I took his balls in my mouth and sucked, first one, and then both in my mouth at the same time. He writhed below me like a cat in heat, and encouraged me on with guttural groans of ecstasy. Then I left his balls and eased my way up to his stiff dick, standing all nine inches, thick and proud.
I licked along the shaft at first, looking up to see Kevin looking down at me, with nothing but lust and love in his eyes, and as I flicked the head of his penis with my tongue, he let out a shudder and a sigh. I took the head into my mouth, and played with it with my tongue, until Kevin begged for me to take it deeper and deeper. How was I not to oblige? I slowly slid down his entire length until my nose was buried into his pubes, and I was in heaven. Once my throat had adjusted to the size of his cock, I started bobbing up and down, each time letting my tongue caress the underside of his dick on the way up and swirling around the head every time every time I reached the top. He turned his body around and soon I felt him slipping a condom on my cock before he swallowed it with ease and expertise. We sucked each other in unison, moaning loudly, in perfect rhythm. I soon felt his body tense up and his balls raise closer to the shaft, as his body shook and gallons of cum erupted into the reservoir of his condom, his body convulsed and his moans grew louder. The fact that this demigod was coming as his body was thrashing close to mine, I could no longer hold it in and had the best orgasm of my life. No sooner were our lips off each other's dicks were they tangled into this amazing kiss full of passion, but more importantly, full of affection.
I felt his hand slide down along my spine as his fingers traced the path to my firm buttocks. He smiled at me mischievously as he caressed my ass. He took me in his arms and hugged me tighter, rolling himself on top of me. He kissed my neck and trailed down over my shoulder, lifting my arm and nuzzling his face up my pit, and liking it clean. He then moved to by shoulder blade, lifting himself slightly so that I could turn onto my stomach. He lowered himself atop of me, his rigid boner resting over my plump ass.
His lips trailed down by back, planting kisses on my shivering skin. His and kneaded my ass cheeks and parted them slightly as he kissed them. He spit onto my exposed rosebud and worked in a finger, and massaged my anus then inserting a second, driving me wild. I could feel one hand leaving my ass cheeks and guessed, by hearing the foil wrapper rip that he was busy shielding his king size cock. Moments later, I felt some jelly being poured onto my ass, with his fingers still deep inside. They popped out for a moment and I looked over my shoulders. I turned my body around. He grabbed my legs gently and placed them over his shoulder, and lowered himself over me and kissed me deeply, passionately. I looked up at him and saw the urgency in my eyes mirrored in his. I felt the tip of his cock pressing against my ass, and soon, I was taking the full shaft. His balls rested against my ass, and he didn't move, letting me adjust to the feeling of his gigantic cock.
Then, his eyes never leaving mine, he started to slowly pump in and out on me. The look in his eyes was the most amazing thing in the world. As the tempo increased, he sent me into orbit. We were no longer staring into each other's eyes. I was deliriously trashing beneath him. His moans and grunts grew louder, as he fucked me harder and harder. Then he froze, and started to shudder while a strangled grunt escaped his open mouth, eyes wide open and rolling to the back of his head. He gasped for air as he came in my ass. Once he stopped, he collapsed on top of me; our bodies covered with sweat, and eased up to kiss me deeply, his cock still rooted up my ass. He withdrew before he could go soft and took off the condom, throwing it in the trash bin next to the bed. He then laid down next to me and held me tight. He reached down between us and realized that my cock was still rock hard. He kissed me while laying me on my back. He then reached for another condom in the nightstand and proceeded to cover my throbbing prick with it.
He placed each of his knees to each side of me and lowered himself on my dick, taking inch after inch while telling me how good it feels. Soon, I was deep within him and his ass felt like a tight, gloved fist. What an incredible sight it was to see him bouncing up and down on top of me, with his eyes to the ceiling, his mouth open. I could feel each groan reverberate deep within, and soon lost control of all my senses. It was more than I could endure and pumped gallons and gallons of cum into the condom, as he once again came, this time, all over my chest and navel, creating little pools of semen. He got off me and laid down on top of me, kissing me urgently, passionately.
I got up to clean myself and then returned to bed. Kevin had fallen asleep and I just paused by the bed, admiring his naked body. I joined him. Soon I felt an arm come around my waist, and pulling me closer. His lips were near my ear.
- I don't want you to be scared off by what I'm about to say. I love you Terry.
I didn't say a word. I just took the hand that was resting on my navel into mine, raised it to my lips and kissed it softly. I knew he understood.
My engagement at the Restaurant ended one night shy of Kevin's in Paris, so his final day in the city was spent entirely with me. I accompanied him to the arena and met the rest of the band. As Kevin went to the makeup room, one of his bandmates pulled me aside and smiled at me, saying "so you're the reason he has been so happy lately?" I just smiled back but said nothing. I watched the entire show from the sidelines, and once it was over, I joined them for dinner, but I had other thoughts in my head, primarily, that this was the last night that Kevin and I would spend together.
Finally, we were alone in my suite, and I couldn't believe that this would be the last time that we would see each other in a long time. We had agreed by now that we both needed to pursue our careers. I truly believed that I loved him and that he loved me back. In fact, he confirmed my suspicions that my feeling were reciprocated. In the first unselfish act of my life, I told him that it was a time to work on our careers. Unselfish because I knew that it was a lot easier to be gay in the Theatre than it was being a boy band member with millions of adoring female fans lusting for you. I knew that my career could survive our relationship but that his couldn't. I reasoned that if it were meant to be, we would find our way back to each other. That night, we made love in the most intimate way that two men could make love. As we sat there afterwards, Kevin surprised me. He sat stood up on one knee in front of me and looked deep in my eyes, as he took a ring out his jeans pocket and held it up to the candlelight, unceremoniously.
- Terry, I want to give you this ring. I know that our respective paths are taking us away from each other. Every day of my life will find my very first thought in the morning, my last thought, as I lay my head down to bed at night and the most caring ones in between to be of you. The memory of your love will keep us alive in my heart and nothing will ever compare to what we shared in these four days. My love for you is unique and I now know that every one has a special someone out there destined for them. I can only thank God for letting me bask in the revelation that is you. I love you and this ring represents that undying love and eternal affection. I am a better man for knowing and loving you, and I leave Paris knowing that we will be together again because you and me are meant to be.
I wept openly as Kevin spoke these words. He slipped the ring on my finger and looked at me as he kissed me. I reached around my neck to the chain that I always wore. I felt my grandmother's wedding ring, which had become my mother's and now was mine. I undid the clasp and took off the chain. I took the ring and turned to Kevin.
- Kevin, I want to give you this ring. It was my grandmother's and then my mothers. I believe in my heart that the love that we share right now ranks up there with the one that they found and I know that we will find our way to each other once more. I love you, with a love so powerful and intense that it scares me, with a love that transcends time and distance, a love that puts to shame the Shakespearean romances and makes humans believe in Gods. I love you Kevin, and I will never feel more love from or for anyone else.
I chuckled at the absurdity of all of it. After all, we had only known for a few days. But at the time, I felt deep inside that there was a tie formed there that would never be broken. That night, we made love again, and repeatedly. Morning found us in each other's arms, for the last time.
He woke up first and as he dressed, I pretended to be asleep. He kissed me gently and left. As the door closed behind him, I closed my opened my eyes, as a tear rolled down my cheek.
Now ten years later, I was back in Paris, and the place where I had fallen in love. I had just finished a tour with the revival company of Fosse: A Celebration in Song and Dance 10th Anniversary. The tour had ended in London and I headed for Paris, for some overdue time off and to check in on my investment. I entered, Place Des Artistes in mid afternoon, and Corey, the then-manager and now my business partner greeted me and then asked if I would sing that night.
I was completely unprepared to perform, but Corey insisted and I folded. As I was discussing the song selections with the house band, Corey came back from the office with an interesting piece of information. It was, in fact, to the day, the 10th anniversary of my first performance at the Place Des Artistes. He was somewhat disappointed that I had not reacted with more enthusiasm, and then looked at me questioningly as I fiddled with the ring on my finger. I just smiled coyly as he asked me about the band.
The performance, that evening, was great. It hadn't been publicized, due to the short notice, so those in attendance were treated to a surprise performance. As I sat at the bar, post-show, and sipped on my scotch on the rocks, when the bartender came over and put a package in front of me.
- Terry, this came for you while you were on stage.
I thought it odd that anything would come for me at the Restaurant since I hadn't been there in over a year and hadn't told anyone that I had returned. There was no return address on the package and no postage either, so I deduced that it came by courier. I opened it and peeked inside. There was ring box inside. I took it out and opened it with trembling hands, to find an anniversary band inside. I took it out of the box and looked at it. It was a silver band very similar to the one that was on my finger, with the exception of the three embedded diamonds on the surface. I looked at the inscription inside and it read "We Were Meant To Be. I love you". By then I started crying softly, missing Kevin a little more than I did every single day of my life. Our paths had gone in separate directions. His career had blossomed beyond the break-up of the his group and he was now a Grammy winning recording artist and producer. I had seen him in concert twice since our encounter in Paris, but couldn't bring myself to go backstage. My career had found me on the stages of the Great White Way in Tony winning performances. It had been reported back to me that he was there in the audience on opening night of my one-man show, but when I looked for him at the post-performance gathering, he was nowhere to be found.
Now, on the tenth anniversary of our meeting, this ring came. I stared at it as tears rolled down my cheeks. The bartender came back to me, handing me a tissue. He smiled as he looked past me for a moment, and then back at me.
- By the way, Terry, this package... it was delivered in person.
I looked up dumbfounded, unsure I had heard correctly. Recognizing the puzzled look, the bartender pointed to someone standing behind me. I turned slowly, daring not hope. I turned and came face to face with him. I stood as he approached.
He spoke softly -
- I had a feeling that you would be here today, that the same thing that pulled me here would pull you here too. - Ten years... - I never stopped wanting you and seeing you face to face, again, I want you even more. - The reasons why we couldn't be together ten years ago are still the same, are they not? - Rupert Everett, Anne Heche, Ellen Degeneres, RuPaul, Elton John, Mitchell Anderson... they paved the way for us. And what if it hurts our careers. I have done it. I reached my goal. I am a respected artist. I have enough money to live three lifetimes. I don't need any more than that. Do you? - Yes, I need one more thing in my life... - What? - You. So why don't you come over here and prove to me that this is not a dream. Kiss me Kevin.
With that, Kevin approached me and took me in his arms. He lowered his lips towards mine and softly kissed me, tenderly, sweetly, then with more urgency as I took his head in my hands and ran my fingers through his hair.
Kevin broke away from the kiss and then looked deep into my eyes.
- Take me home Terry. I want to start the rest of our lives together tonight.
I smiled as I grabbed my jacket and we started towards the door, holding each other's hand. We were almost out the door when I remembered that my keys were in my dressing room. I told him to hail me a cab and that I would be right back. He walked out and I turned on my heels to get my keys. When I returned I could see him on the sidewalk, trying to flag down a cab. I stopped to say goodnight and thank you to the bartender. I heard the sound of sirens in the distance, but approaching fast. I turned to see what the commotion was all about. To my horror, I saw a car turn the corner at breakneck speed and collide with the taxi that had stopped for Kevin.
As Kevin was nearing the cab to open the passenger door, he got the full impact of the collision and was sent careening through the restaurant's bay window. I opened my mouth to scream but not a sound came, as I stood there, paralyzed and in shock. The bartender rushed to Kevin and leaned down where his body laid. He checked for a pulse, and then looked up to me.
To be continued.
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