First of all, once again, thanks for the notes a lot of you sent saying how much you enjoyed the love story of the last chapter. It was a pleasure to write. I have a new reader from Australia and readers from North Carolina, even. Grin. Yeah, the end of last chapter was a bit of a cliffhanger. Sorry, but that's just how the story came out. There will be twists and turns in this chapter and the next. So be warned!
Hugs to all readers!
P.S. Don't forget to support Nifty. It's tax deductible even!
Characters:
Jacob McClintock, late 30's, U.S. Army, and Univ. of North Carolina senior. In love with Kevin.
Kevin Williams, early 20's, star soccer midfielder. In love with Jacob.
Daniel Williams, late 40's, Kevin's father. Has been seeing Patrick.
Patrick, 19, has been seeing Daniel, has enjoyed some fun time with Jorge and with Marco Cabrillo.
Marco Cabrillo, early 20's, star soccer striker, Latino from California. Was interested in Kevin, and now is exploring.
Diego Cabrillo, late 40's, coach of UNC soccer team and Marco's father.
Jorge, Russ, Rick, and others, friends.
From Kevin 16: "After Kevin dropped me off I wandered around my small, empty, apartment in Carrboro, trying so hard not to be depressed at the contrast with the last two days.
I finally decided to reconnect with the outside world, hoping that would help with my depression. Neither Kevin nor I had taken a computer with us on our trip. We had both turned our cell phones off the entire time as well. We had figured the outside world could go to hell while we were gone.
Well, apparently it did! When I turned on my computer and IM and my cell, I had `high priority' IMs, texts, emails, and voice mails from Daniel, Patrick, Mike, Jorge, and to my shock, Marco!
And damn, who died and made me God?!? I thought about calling and warning Kevin, but figured, by now, he was in the middle of all of this.
I turned all of the electronics off then. I slept for a couple of hours. I woke up then, `girded my loins', and prepared to deal with it all. I then listened to all of the messages..."
Wow!
What hadn't happened while we were gone! First one was from Mike hoping his date Saturday night I had helped arrange would go well. (Since that date was with a very well warned Patrick, I certainly hoped it would! Grin). Second was from Patrick thanking me for the date with Mike. He then said he had a call from Daniel asking to talk. And what the fuck was that about? I laughed, since I knew. I hoped that would go well. Daniel first called to tell me about his meeting with Patrick. Right. Jorge called asking if he couldn't get my advice on both Patrick and Marco soon. Well, there he was on his own, pretty much. But Marco's call took the cake. Here's the message: "Jacob, I barely know you, but Kevin's gone. I guess he's with you. I don't know what to do. Dad let me know he found out about my visits to the gay club in Durham. I don't know how he found out but he's gone totally silent and cold with me. He won't look me in the face. He won't talk to me. He won't even talk to me at practice! He has the assistants coach me! He won't pick up any phone calls I make. He won't call me back. It's just him and me at home and he's locked himself away in his room now. Mom's been gone a while. No other kids. Jacob, I fucking don't know what to do. He's never been like this ever, in my entire life! Can you help me?"
And to my horror I heard him start to cry! Not that big macho stud! Next call was from Daniel. He told me Marco had called him. He had rushed over to see what he could do and was shocked by how upset Marco was. He had then tried to talk to Diego, Marco's Dad and head coach of the soccer team. He was shocked again when Diego refused to talk to him about Marco. Evidently Diego said he considered Daniel to be a friend and he would talk to him about anything and anyone but Marco. After that messages left from Jorge and Patrick, more or less affirming the earlier messages about Diego and both saying how worried they were about Marco.
Finally after I heard all the messages and read all the emails and IMs there was a live call. I saw it was Kevin's number. I picked up on the first ring.
He heard the emotion in my "hello" and said, "So you've heard."
"And how", I replied. I could hear the clinking of plates and dishes in the background. So, they must have stopped for supper somewhere between North Carolina and Boston. I could almost see Kevin's worried face.
"No one understands Diego's reaction", Kevin said. "I mean people were figuring he'd find out about Marco's visits' at some point or other. They were figuring he'd be angry, or maybe scornful, or even hurt and that he'd be totally passionate in his reaction. But not this total iciness and withdrawal from the world. I mean Diego's Latin for God's sake, not some Puritan. And Marco's a nervous wreck. I don't think he'll be able to play tomorrow. All of the team has tried to step in. The other coaches have tried to step in. Diego just sits there by himself on the bus and doesn't look at anything or anyone. It's as if someone turned him off' like some kind of machine. But somehow, someone needs to break through the ice and find out what's going on in his head. He needs help, Jacob, but no one can get through!"
We talked for a while longer until he had to get back on the bus. I wondered who had told him about Marco's trips to the club. I certainly hoped it wasn't Patrick, although I stared to worry that it could have been. I also wondered if anything had happened between Patrick and Diego that could have precipitated Diego's reaction. Guess I had better find out. Since I had helped Marco realize and understand his attraction to men, I was involved, just as much as anyone in this mess, and even more than some.
I checked the clock, 4 PM. Patrick wouldn't be going out on his date until later, I assumed. I slipped on shorts and a sleeveless tee and walked over to Patrick's apartment and knocked on his door. He yelled out, "just a minute!" I waited impatiently.
Soon, he answered the door, naked except for a towel, dripping with his hair plastered against his skull. He gave me his infectious smile and said, "Well, I was hoping it would be you, Jake!"
I rolled my eyes at him, although did have to say I couldn't help but admire his very cute twinky body. And did look like he had been having "fun" in the shower since his towel was rather tented down below!
"Come in, come in, Jake", he said. Let me just put something on. Or", he said, giving me a leer, "If you'd rather I just drop the towel we can see what happens next!"
I gave him my best military glare of disapproval. He sighed, dramatically (and how could Patrick sigh any other way!). While waiting in the living room he quickly put on the minimum of clothing and came in to see what I would say.
"Patrick", I started, "I got your phone messages. I do have an idea why Daniel wants to talk with you. However, what is more important is to figure out what's going on with Diego. I got messages from half the people I know at UNC asking what the fuck is going on with him. So", I said looking at him rather accusatorily, "what do you know about what the fuck is going on?"
"Moi?" he exclaimed. "Jacob, whatever can you be thinking? How can you imagine I have had anything to do with Diego Cabrillo, handsome man though he may be, although it is true that I have been thinking about trying to seduce him..."
"Patrick, please cut the camp. This is serious. I know you're working as an assistant for the team now and that you see Diego nearly daily. Someone told him about Marco's visits to the club in Durham. And Diego has now gone into something like a coma after hearing that news. Did you tell Diego about Marco? Did you try to seduce Diego this week and use that piece of news as a way to get him interested in you? Did you? Did you cause all of this mess?"
Patrick went paler and paler as I finally accused him and I finally ran down. He was silent for a minute and white with shock, but visibly seething. Finally he said, "Major McClintock, sir, I don't know who you think I am, but I am not that person. No sir, not at all! I would never, ever, out a person, not even my worst enemy, especially to his father, who happens to be a man I like very, very, much. I don't think I've ever met a man more truly kind than Diego Cabrillo. I admire him a great deal. I would never do anything that would hurt a man like that, no matter if I thought it were the right thing to do or not. And outing his son would never, never, be the right thing."
He looked at me in barely controlled rage then.
"I think I'll have to ask you to leave now, sir. I hope you don't know what you said. But you have truly offended me and also truly hurt me. Good bye, Jacob."
He went to the door, opened it, and waited for me to leave. I took my cue, starting to feel "lower than slug spit".
I went back to my apartment even more depressed. I started to understand how much I had screwed up by accusing Patrick. I mean, no matter how flamboyant he is at times, he really is a good guy at heart, as he has proved. And his own tough history and his beating by his father would have made him want to make up in some ways for that hurt that could be expressed through his sardonic humor, too. I felt even worse when I remembered what he said about Diego. But then, I truly didn't understand Diego's reaction to the news about Marco. How could such a very nice man react the way that he was? What was going on in this man's head?
Well, despite what I had done, I had to eat and wash clothes. I tried to study. I went to bed early, still depressed. I got up and had to sing tenor again. Sigh. However, it was still fall break after all and most of the undergrads had left town, to be fair. I refused invitations to go out to lunch. I went back to the apartment, made soup and a sandwich and studied again.
Kevin called me again at suppertime but didn't have any good news to report. No change in Diego. Marco hadn't played. The team managed to tie Boston College, but it wasn't the team it had been up to now.
I wasn't surprised not to hear from Patrick. I would have to give him time. I had left a written note of apology under his door this morning. I figured that kind of formality would be the way to go with this. I was glad to get a phone call from Mike, saying he had really enjoyed his date with Patrick. I was also glad to hear that they were taking the sex slowly and had just made out. Jorge and I talked briefly about Marco and what to do. I had a much longer conversation with Daniel. He was totally bewildered by Diego and his reaction. He wondered what he could do to help. I honestly didn't know. I started to wonder if there was something I could do, too. I had never even been formally introduced to Diego, but still. If there were no change in Diego by my afternoon off on Tuesday, I decided I'd go try to talk to him, too, despite the fact that we didn't know each other. Marco didn't call again but I figured Kevin was giving him support in person. When I thought about it I also figured that they slept in the same bed last night, with Kevin giving Marco what comfort he could, and probably even naked. I also knew there was nothing sexual going on between them now either. I saw no point in even bringing that up with Kevin. He would have done what any human being would have done then, trying to comfort Marco.
I went to sleep early, still tired out from the passion-filled long weekend, in all senses of the word! I smiled when I heard the cell beep and woke up enough to read the text from Kevin which read, "Back love". I slept better then.
Monday wound its long, inexorable, way towards evening. I enjoyed most of the lectures and discussions in my classes. I participated as much as I could. I had gotten back first graded work and looked like I'd make the Dean's List. Good. Scholarship not in jeopardy as long as I could keep it up. Since I had plenty of time to study because I was only seeing Kevin from time to time, looked like that would be no problem. Sigh. Still, I was trying to find a bright side in this situation.
At band, Kevin said there was no change in Diego. I briefly mentioned my intention to go visit Diego myself to see if I could get him to talk to me, as a stranger, but also as Kevin's partner. I thought that maybe talking to someone in a gay love relation might at least get Diego to unfreeze, especially since the relationship involved another of his star players. I mean, if he would even yell and curse, that would be better than what he was doing now.
Kevin looked doubtful, but finally said he didn't see how I could make things worse. Finally he half smiled and said, "at least you're a mature stud, Jakey. Maybe he'll actually talk to you!"
I half smiled back. Yeah, this would be a long shot probably.
Kevin and I gave our usual goodbye hugs, protected, as always, by Russ and Rick, but now also by Mike. Kevin raised an eyebrow at Mike, but said nothing. I figured I'd explain him some other time.
I decided to "beard" Diego in the early afternoon, well before practice with the team. I made my way into the coaches' office area of the arena and found his office fairly easily. As expected he was sitting alone in his office, staring into space, with a very sad expression. Somehow no one had mentioned the sad expression in their descriptions of Diego's reaction. Wheels started to turn.
I knocked and he acknowledged my presence with a nod. As I walked toward his desk, he gave me a puzzled expression, trying to figure out if he knew me or not. Finally he gave me a slight smile and said, "Oh, you are the man who likes to sunbathe nearly naked at our games!" I started and blushed at that. He looked me over more carefully then. "And yes I do see why people enjoy looking at you!" The slight smile returned. I blushed again, but noted the gender neutral pronoun of "people" and took my turn studying him. While there was no doubt that he and Marco were related, Diego looked somehow more "Spanish" than Marco. His features were more aristocratic and more angular. Instead of Marco's warm brown eyes, Diego's were gray blue. He didn't have Marco's height and build, but it was clear that Diego was in great shape and was still a bit taller than I was. Frankly he was a very attractive man, perhaps more attractive to me than Marco even. While he wasn't "beautiful" like Kevin or Daniel, there was something about him that made him appealing. I began to understand Patrick's reaction much better. However, Diego was speaking to me again.
"So, what can I help you with, mister sunbathing man?" he said with his very slight smile again. He looked at my body even more carefully. "I don't think you are here for soccer. I don't think you are planning to try out for the team. Soccer is not your sport, I would think?"
I shook my head no. I appreciated his gentle, if sad, teasing, but remembered that I was here for a real reason and it was time for that.
"Coach Cabrillo", I started, "My name is Jacob McClintock. I am partnered to one of your players and he is worried about you. In fact the whole team is worried about you. And your son, Marco, the most of all... Since Marco is the best friend of my partner, and since I have become a friend of Marco's I thought maybe I could come help you, as well as help my partner, and his best friend. I have heard that you reacted badly to the news that Marco had visited a gay club. I thought if I could talk to you about the relationship my partner and I have, the love we share, and the depths of our feelings, that I could help you with your reaction to your son and what he is now going through, too." I reached over to see if I could give the Coach reassurance of some kind. I was rather surprised when he let me hug him, and then felt tears against my cheek. Damn! Why was I the one to get macho men to shed tears!
He held me and then said, softly, "But Jacob McClintock, that is the problem. Men who love men love men so much more fiercely than they love women. And all men who love men will have their hearts broken. I had hoped to spare my Marco, whom I love more dearly than life itself, from this fate. But now I know I cannot."
Adding two to two quickly, I said, "So, you had your heart broken by a man then?"
He nodded, drawing away from my arms. "Yes. I loved Marco's mother, I thought. But after ten years of marriage, I met a man I had not intended to meet. I had not known myself as well as I thought. I had had no thoughts that a man could make me feel the way I did, could make me feel the terrible kind of love that devours you completely, that devours your heart, your soul, and your body!" He became silent for a minute and then resumed talking. "He was so beautiful. He was blond, with light blue eyes. His voice was so musical. He was my angel who filled my light with life. Naked, he was a statue of a god come to life. And he was very funny, but also very challenging. When we made love, we were always pushing each other to new heights of passion. We would only reach our climax after long teasing and deep passion. Making love with him was as physical as a workout. But so wonderful! My wife ultimately found out and left me. I let her. All I cared about was Jonathan. I wrote him poetry. I invented songs about him. I sent him flowers and small presents. My life revolved around him. Marco knew him as Uncle Jonathan, but did not know we were in love. I never found the words to explain my love for Jonathan to Marco.
Our relationship, our `partnership' as you say, continued for nearly ten years. I was just as much in love then as I had been in the beginning. But then when I got home from practice one evening, he was gone. I yelled for him throughout the house. I became more and more panicked. I thought the worse. I imagined a car accident, a burglary gone horribly wrong. I was afraid to hear the telephone ring. I was afraid to find his mangled, bloody, body! I searched the house even more thoroughly. I then realized all of his possessions were gone. The clothes he had left in my house when he slept over were gone. His toiletries and bath stuff were gone. Well, one set of worries was relieved, but a new set of worried reignited my panic.
I finally found the note. It was on the fridge, for God's sake, the stupid fridge!" And he started to cry again. I held him then.
"I can still quote that note, nearly ten years later. It said, Diego, you're the most wonderful man I've ever met. I love you. I guess I always will. But I have to leave. I made plans to leave when I saw your hair turning gray.'" I looked at Diego and realized he had gray sideburns and some gray throughout his hair. I thought it made him look very distinguished and hot. Diego noticed my appraisal, gave me his very sad smile and shook his head, no. "Jonathan continued, I am terrified of getting old, Diego. I am terrified of death. If my lover is getting old, then I'm getting old. I can't get old! I can't! I have to leave. Don't try to find me. Just remember that I love you. Jonathan'." Diego dried his tears and smiled sadly one more time. "Well, I did try to find him. Eventually I did. He had settled down with a twenty year old in San Francisco. I saw them at a bar and club one night. They didn't see me."
He looked at me with such pain in his eyes. "So, that is why I am so upset about the news about Marco. I don't want him to have to feel with I still feel, the terrible sadness and pain of men in love."
This time I did frown at him. "Coach, did it ever occur to you that men actually can be happy in love and have lifelong relationships?"
He shook his head vehemently at that!
"Actually they can. I can pull up the statistics, but I, personally, have known couples who have loved each other for more than thirty years, who have only been separated by death. I really can!"
He finally looked a bit more hopeful. "Yes, they can", I went on. "And I plan on having that kind of relationship with Kevin Williams and he plans on having that kind of relationship with me, too."
"Kevin", he mouthed.
"Yes, Kevin", I answered. "Both of us know this will be very difficult, but we're committed to each other, wholly and completely. And, actually, I'm a bit to be blamed for Marco coming out' when he did. You see he tried to come between Kevin and me. He wanted Kevin as more than a best friend. I got him to see that he couldn't because Kevin and I were in love. I think he's now looking for something similar. And", and I looked at Diego deeply in the eyes, "I think you need to tell him all about Uncle Jonathan'. I think you both need that."
He thought about that intensely for a couple of minutes and then finally smiled a real smile. "Yes, I believe you are right. I believe you are very right!" He appraised me one more time. "So, how did you get to be so wise?" he said, smiling at me.
"I'm not wise", I said. I just know people. "And Coach, I've been around. I'm not as young as I look!" I said laughing.
One more study of me. "No, you're not", he smiled. Then he said, "Kevin is a very lucky man." I blushed again and he smiled at me again and asked, "So, do you have an older brother?" We finally both laughed at that.
Very soon after that we said goodbye after sharing phone numbers and emails. Diego was a different man now and even more attractive. I certainly could see what Patrick saw in him. I also hoped others would see him as he really was. I hoped he could move on to others as well. I would love to see a happy ending for him after the incredible pain he had suffered.
As I was leaving the office and walking down the long corridor, I heard the sound of running feet behind me. Reacting instinctively I turned in a flash, fell to the ground, and then launched myself at my presumed attacker. Flashbacks from Iraq and Afghanistan played out.
"Jacob", my opponent gasped, "You're hurting me!" I let my grasp go in a flash as soon as I realized I had Patrick in a chokehold.
"Don't ever do that again, Patrick!" I yelled. "I could have killed you!"
"Don't worry", he said hoarsely. "Iraq?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Diego solved?"
I nodded again.
"Good".
"Jacob, I accept your apology", he said still grimacing from the pain of my chokehold. "Elegantly written. Can I come by tonight to hear all about Coach Cabrillo and how you were able to help him? But I think I need to talk about all of `my' guys, too? I think I need some real advice."
Well, after the scene just played out in Diego's office, I could have used a night off from heartfelt conversations about other people's love life. However, I did owe Patrick after accusing him unjustly and now just strangling him. In fact one of the things Diego told me before I left was that it was the manager of the club had called him to tell him Marco had been there. Turns out that Diego was a partial owner of the club!
Ok, studying, supper, and then I'd better have some beer ready for Patrick's visit. No Bourbon on a school night! Grin!
Sorry about no sex in this chapter. I promise there will be some in the next when Daniel goes to the condo and gets stopped by Officer Bob, when Diego comes out of his shell to see what life may now offer, when Marco and Patrick talk, and Mike meets a new guy! And as always, Kevin and Jacob will enjoy their time together!
Huge to all, mikedave01@yahoo.com