Ken and I - Part 25
"You're back already?" my mom had asked, "Ken wasn't home?"
"Yeah, he was home. We're going to hang out later. I'm gonna sleepover at his place."
"Oh Martin, you just got home. I thought maybe you'd spend at least one day at home with us", my mother said as predicted.
"Mooom, come on, it's not like I've been gone for a year or anything", I whined.
"Well. I guess ... are you sure Ken's parents aren't tired of having an extra son?" she teased.
I smiled, "Nope, they're happy to have a good son for a change."
"Mhmm. I'm sure."
I laughed and headed to my room, flopping myself onto my bed. My mind was racing at exactly what Ken wanted to talk about. I wasn't worried though; Ken had sounded genuinely happy so I assumed it had to be good. I began to wonder if Ken wanted to take things to the next level. Not that I was really sure what that might mean. Did he want us to be boyfriends? Neither one of us was out, so that would be weird. And Ken had never actually said that he was gay, although for that matter neither had I; nor was I entirely sure I was. Or maybe I just wasn't ready to admit that to myself, let alone others. There were definitely some bullies at school that delighted in making life difficult for some of the guys, whether they were actually gay or not. Any guy that showed even a hint of what they perceived as being feminine was a potential target. The concept of a Gay Straight Alliance or anything resembling that wasn't around at the time, or if it was, it certainly wasn't something at the schools I attended.
The more I thought, the more my mood changed from happy to worried. I knew I was driving myself nuts. To get my mind off it, I grabbed a book from my nightstand and started reading. I had recently discovered Tolkien, and was deep into the first book of the trilogy. I quickly lost myself in the story and spent a good part of the day sharing in their adventure, only taking a break when it was time for lunch.
I napped for a couple of hours before dinner; more and more I was finding that there didn't seem to be enough hours in the day for sleep. My mother used to think I was wasting away my summer days, but my father would take my side and remind her that it was perfectly normal for a boy my age to spend so much time sleeping. I appeased them during dinner by talking more about my trip to see Daryl without being prompted or responding to questions with one word answers. After dinner I packed a few things into my backpack and headed across the street to Ken's. I guessed my mother had been pleased with me at dinner, as she didn't even mention needing to be polite or on my best behavior while there.
I arrived at Ken's just as they were finishing their own dinner, having gotten there just in time to join in having a slice of apple pie and ice cream. At fourteen I had a bottomless pit for a stomach, not unlike Ken or Jamie, a fact that their mother commented on, saying that she should've baked a pie for each of us.
I had noticed that Jamie seemed to be in just as good a mood as Ken; he seemed pleased to see me and the two of them carried on a friendly banter during and after dinner. We hung out watching TV and chatting, each of us telling a bit about our summer holiday trip. I was still leaving out the naughty parts; if I was going to talk about that, it would be with Ken first. It grew late, and Jamie made no fuss when his mom told him it was time to go to bed. He said good night to both us, and I could swear I saw a brief grin pass between the brothers.
Ken and I got ourselves ready for bed; we brushed our teeth, had a pee and went to his room, where we stripped down to our briefs before sliding into his bed. The only light in the room was his small bedside lamp; we hadn't said much while getting ready, and now I felt like the silence hung over us like a weight. Ken had wanted to talk, but he wasn't saying anything yet; it was making me nervous even though there'd been no signs that the talk would be anything but good.
Finally I just couldn't wait any longer, "Sooooo? What did you wanna talk about?"
Ken took a deep breath, "Well ... a bunch of stuff I guess."
I waited.
"Well okay, a lot of it has to do with Jamie."
I began to wonder if I'd misread the signs I'd thought I'd gotten earlier, maybe I'd seen what I had hoped to see.
Ken's eyes were focused on a spot on the ceiling as he began, "Well ... I was pretty upset about you and Jamie, that was ... I guess, it was more that ... I don't know, I guess what I'm trying to say is that ... maybe I was jealous."
Ken was still looking up at the ceiling when I looked over at him, "You were ... jealous?"
"Yeah", Ken whispered before continuing, "It was weird, y'know? I know you were just ... horsing around with him, but ... this is going to sound dumb, but ... I was jealous of Jamie having fun with you because ... I like having fun with you. But that wasn't all of it ..."
"What do you mean?"
"This probably sounds even more dumb ... I was ... I was jealous of you."
"Me?"
"Yeah ... it was like, I don't know ... like you were having fun with my brother and like, he's my brother ... and I've kind of been ignoring him and maybe that ... maybe like I should be having fun with him. I know he wants to and ... well I guess it's made me realize that I've sort of cut him out of everything since ... well you know, since that time he ... when I let him masturbate me and then ... then we started hanging out and stuff."
I breathed out, feeling like I'd been holding my breath, "Wow Ken ... I'm ... I'm sorry that ... I never meant to make you feel bad or like ... get between you and Jamie."
"No", Ken said, sounding very forceful in comparison to how he had been sounding, "you didn't make me feel bad and you didn't do anything to me and Jamie. That was me. I just ... I guess I just didn't know how to deal with it. I kept thinking that I'd made him do something. That I'd ... well I'm his older brother, I'm supposed to look out for him and protect him. I just never thought that, y'know ..."
"Ken", I started, putting my hand on his, "you know you didn't force Jamie to do anything. He ... well you know, he loves you and ... and I think I ... anyway, I think he'd just really been missing hanging out with you."
I was sweating and I thought that Ken would be able to hear my heart pounding. I think I'd been about to tell him that I loved him too. But at the last second, I chickened out; of course in my mind I rationalized that tonight was about letting Ken talk, to let him tell me all the things he'd been thinking about -- it wasn't about me and how I might've been feeling.
"I know. I know that now."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah", Ken carried on, "me and him ... I had a really long talk with him during our trip. It was the third night that we were camping. We'd been hanging out, like biking and swimming and stuff, but ... I don't know, I guess he could still tell something was off, like ... I was there with him, but sort of not? Y'know?"
"Yeah", I said, feeling bad for Ken. I knew he'd been having a hard time dealing with it, him and Jamie, but I guess I hadn't realized just how much it had been on his mind. When I'd been with Ken, I'd mostly been thinking about what were doing, how good it made me feel. All of a sudden, it made me feel selfish. At fourteen, it was hard to think beyond myself at times.
"We were in our tent, laying on our sleeping bags. It was Jamie ...", Ken's voice broke, and I squeezed his hand, "I didn't even have the guts to bring it up. Jamie asked me if I didn't like him anymore. I ... fuck Martin, the whole time I'd only ever been thinking about myself. I'd been so ..."
"Selfish?" I filled in, amazed that his feelings were mimicking mine of a moment ago.
"Yeah", Ken breathed, "... selfish. I ... I wanted to cry Martin. I never wanted Jamie to feel like that. I told him that of course I still liked him, that I'd never stopped liking him. He said that it hadn't felt like it for a while, not since ... I told him that I'd felt like I'd let him down, that I'd made him. He said that I hadn't, that he'd been happy to make me feel so good, he thought that maybe he'd done something wrong. Martin, I never felt so bad in my entire life."
I felt like my heart was breaking for Ken, and all I could do was keep squeezing his hand; he squeezed back in acknowledgement.
"I told him how sorry I was for having made him feel that way, that I ... he was my brother, and that I loved him. Martin, he didn't say anything, he just ... he just rolled over and hugged me tight, he hugged me so tight and I hugged him too. I didn't think we were ever gonna let go, y'know?"
I finally found my voice again, "Ken, god I'm so glad for you guys, that ... that everything is back to normal."
"Yeah, well ...", Ken replied.
"What? It's ... not? I thought you said ..."
"There's more. And I want you know about all of it. It's important."
I wondered at what else Ken had to tell me. I knew there were things that I had to tell Ken. I felt like I needed to tell him about Daryl. Not because I was feeling like I'd somehow cheated on him; it was somehow an important part of being able to tell him how I felt about him.
Ken continued, "We hugged for a long time, I hadn't even noticed that at some point Jamie had rolled on top of me, we were just ... y'know, just in our underwear, it was hot in the tent and we weren't wearing anything else."
I immediately felt my teen prick thicken inside my briefs.
"I could ... I felt that he had a boner and it was pushing against me. Martin, I ... I felt him pushing and rubbing himself against me and I ... my dick ... I was responding. I began to move against him, y'know? The way he was moving against me. It was feeling good ... to be honest? I hadn't ... for three days I hadn't beat off. We were both sweating and I could feel his damp, slippery skin sliding against mine. We never said a word. I ... I reached down so that I could slide down our briefs so that ... o god Martin, when our dicks touched, it was like ... like an electric shock."
My cock was fully hard and pulsing with each beat of my heart; I knew precum was leaking from the head and soaking into the white cotton of my briefs. I looked over and could see that Ken was in a similar state. Still neither of us stopped holding hands or reaching down to release our throbbing peckers from their confinement.
"We were rubbing against each other, Martin the feeling was so intense, I ... I reached down and put my hands on his butt and pulled him harder against me, I could feel him respond by pushing himself even harder down against me. I left one hand on his ass, my fingers were ... they were pushed between his cheeks as I kept holding him there while my other arm wrapped around his sweaty back. We were grinding each other so hard Martin. I thought for sure mom and dad would be able to hear us, to hear how hard we were breathing, but of course I wasn't thinking about them at all ... I was just so focused on ... like focused on Jamie and on how this was making me feel. Martin, god, when I felt Jamie's whole body tense up and go stiff ... and then he was gushing cum between us, on our stomachs and all over both of our dicks ... I started cumming too, I came so hard, three days of my jizz squirting between us, us still rubbing and grinding against each other, oh Martin it was ..."
I couldn't take any more; I tore at my underwear to push it down, and then rolled over to claw at Ken's. They were just barely down far enough for our cocks to bounce free before they were once again trapped, but this time between our own sweaty bodies. I pushed myself against Ken and leaned down to mash my tongue against his. We kissed furiously as our bodies heaved and bucked against each other. Within moments we were groaning into each other's mouths as we released volley after volley of our creamy teen spunk erupted between us.
"Oh fuck Ken ... I", I groaned as our mouths parted, "... I love ..."