Ken and I - Part 10
I still wasn't sure what exactly I was going to say to Jamie, but I knew I needed to talk to him. I walked across the street as slowly as I possibly could, hoping to drag this out for as long as possible. I was nervous, and I could feel my heart pounding. My mind was doing mental flip-flops trying to think of some way to say something that would make this okay.
I realized I was standing at the back door; I might have been standing there for a few seconds or a few hours, I couldn't tell. As I reached forward to knock, the door opened. Ken and Jamie's mom was standing there.
"Oh, Martin, is there something you need?"
I was trying to engage my tongue, to make my mouth say something. Would Ken's mom find it odd that I was there to talk to Jamie? What could I say?
"Is Ken home?" I stammered, knowing full well he wasn't.
"Ken? No, he's gone to the football tournament this weekend."
"Ohhh right. I completely forgot. Sorry."
"That's alright dear. By the way, did you leave your bike here earlier?" she asked.
Oh god. She knows. Jamie told her about the pervert from across the street. "Oh, ah, yeah. I was riding by earlier and, ah, Ja É Jamie needed help fixing the chain on his bike. I must've forgot and walked home." I managed to stutter out.
"Well wasn't that nice of you. You're such a sweet boy."
I felt myself blushing furiously at her comment. If only she knew how untrue that was. How I had taken advantage of her little boy. How I had betrayed my friend. How I loved sucking her older son's cock.
"Oh, well, it was no trouble really." I said, adding, "I hope it's still fixed?"
"It must be; Jamie went out for a ride about fifteen minutes ago."
"Oh, ah, okay, well that's good. I guess. Okay, well, anyway I guess I'll grab my bike and go."
"All right Martin, if you happen to run into Jamie tell him not to be home too late."
I couldn't believe that she hadn't been able to read the guilt on my face. Jamie hadn't said anything after all. At least for now. I felt relieved that Jamie hadn't been home, that I could put off talking to him for a while longer. Not that I had thought of anything to say to him yet. I hopped on my bike and started to ride.
I rode around the neighborhood in random patterns, hoping to run into Jamie, relieved every time I turned a corner and didn't see him. Without realizing it I had come to the trail that lead to the train tracks. I needed time to think and I guessed this was as good a place as any. When I came to the spot where Ken and I usually stashed our bikes I saw that there was already a bike there. It looked familiar. I knew that bike. I had seen it and worked on it earlier. Jamie's bike. Jamie was here.
I froze. Should I leave my bike and look for Jamie? Should I turn around and take off for home? I knew I was simply trying to avoid the inevitable. Taking a deep breath I got off my bike and stashed it next to Jamie's.
The area around the rails was quite extensive, trails ran off into the bush and trees in many directions. I had no idea where Jamie might have gone; I didn't know if he knew about the abandoned box car, but it was the spot I knew best and it seemed like a good place to start. I began walking along the rails. I hoped I wouldn't run into anyone else; I knew that Ken and I weren't the only ones that came out here, but I figured the older kids probably only came out there at night to have fires and probably smoke pot and fool around. Still, I didn't want to take a chance getting caught, not that I was doing anything wrong.
I took broad strides, walking on the railroad ties to avoid crunching through the stone ballast between them. The rail took a long, slow turn here, and in the distance I could see the boxcar. I wasn't entirely sure, but I thought I could see someone standing to the right of it, where the boxcar door normally stood open. With the sun in my eyes I couldn't quite make out the figure. I stepped off the rail bed into the grass and bush to the left; I wanted to approach slowly and quietly in case it wasn't Jamie.
Fortunately the bush was crisscrossed with trails, making it relatively easy to approach the boxcar quietly and without being seen. I made mental note of this. There was nothing that would stop anyone else from being able to sneak up on Ken and I if we were at the boxcar. I had no desire to be caught out there with Ken's cock in my mouth. Or anywhere else.
I was now even with the boxcar just to my left. I stepped towards it as quietly as I could; fortunately only the door on the opposite side was slid open. The door on side remained closed, in all likelihood rusted in place. I crouched down and looked under the boxcar. I could see a foot dangling down; whoever it was, they were now sitting on the boxcar deck. Stepping to the edge, I found that the door on this side hadn't been closed all the way; there was a small space through which I could peer inside.
Jamie was sitting on the edge with his back against the open door, one leg dangling down, the other on the deck bent at the knee with his arms wrapped around it. His head was up and he was staring out the open door. I couldn't read the expression on his face, but it seemed he was deep in thought. I was again struck by how much Jamie resembled his older brother.
I was about to step back and walk around to the other side when Jamie moved. He pushed himself up and stood at the edge of the door, not quite facing away from me. With his left hand he gave his crotch a little squeeze, and I stood rooted to the spot as he began to undo his shorts. He pushed down the front of them, including his white briefs, exposing himself to the open air. I could make out a small patch of straggly dark hairs; I was surprised as I had assumed he'd still be smooth and bare. Maybe he was starting early, like I had.
Just below was his small fleshy tube, somewhere between an inch or two, the head covered with a short bit of foreskin. He wasn't hard, but it jutted slightly forward, resting on top of his small sack of boy marbles. Reaching down he pulled the skin back, and a few dribbles of pee fell from the tip before turning into a full on stream that arced across the open air and falling down out of view below the boxcar deck. I could hear it splashing on the stones of the rail bed. I could also feel a tightening in the front of my shorts as my own fleshy tube began to harden and rise.
Jamie's stream stopped, and he pushed and pulled his foreskin a few times, forcing the rest of his piss out in a a few short bursts. I had fully expected him to pull up his pants, but instead he continued to push and pull his foreskin. I watched in fascination as his small penis began to expand and harden; within seconds it was fully hard, curving up slightly from the base, the skin pulled back revealing a pink helmet not much thicker than the shaft. I guessed it was between three and four inches in length, which seemed quite respectable for his age.
I could feel sweat dripping from my forehead, a combination of the heat of the afternoon and the incredibly hot sight unfolding in front of me. I could also feel my own hardness twitching in my shorts, a small stream of precum leaking into my shorts. Jamie continued to slide his hand over his cock, from base to head where he'd rub his palm all around before returning to the base. Every few strokes he'd spit into his hand and resume what appeared to be a well practiced movement. I could see the look of his pleasure on his face, knowing from my own experience how good it felt. Without looking away I reached down and gave myself a good squeeze.
Jamie's mouth was hanging open as his stroking speed increased. Although I couldn't hear him, I knew his breath would be started to come in short ragged bursts as he approached his climax. Within a few minutes of starting, I saw his face and body tense, and a few squirts of cum burst from his stiff prick, dropping to the deck of the boxcar. I could see him let out a long slow breath as he shook a final few drops off the head. Holding his hand in front of him, he stretched a small string of his boy jizz between his thumb and finger, tentatively sniffing at it. I thought I was going to cum in my pants when I saw his small tongue dart out of his mouth for a taste. His face remained neutral, seeming neither to register like or dislike.
At that moment I lost my balance and stepped loudly into the stones of the rail bed. I heard Jamie gasp and the last thing I saw before nearly falling was him scrambling to pull up his shorts. As much as I wanted to run back into the bush, I knew deep down that I couldn't do that to Jamie. I had to talk to him. I found my feet and walked around to the other side. As I stepped into view, Jamie had jumped down from the deck of the boxcar and begun to run. He ran right into me, knocking me off balance, both of us falling and rolling down the side of the rail bed into the grass below.
"Fuck. Fuck. Get off. Let me go." Jamie shouted.
"Jamie. Stop. It's just me. Stop." I shouted back and held on to him, "It's okay, I just want to talk to you."
Jamie stopped momentarily, finally registering that it was me. I'm not sure if that made it better or worse, given what had happened earlier that day.
"Fuck," he cursed again.
He made to get up and leave, but I held his arm, "Just stop for a minute.
He sat up, but didn't make to leave. With his legs bent at the knees, he hugged himself and put his head down. I could hear him begin to sob quietly. I sat up next to him, not exactly sure what to do or say. I reached out and tentatively put my hand on his shoulder; I could feel him tense momentarily, and then relax again as I moved my hand to his other shoulder and pulled him in towards in sort of partial hug.
""Jamie look, I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to," I began, "well, I didn't mean to spy on you or anything like that. I just wanted to talk to you. And then when you, well, you know, I just wanted to keep quiet. So that I wouldn't embarrass you." That last part was only partially true. Of course I didn't want to embarrass him, but that part of my teen brain that had been permanently rewired to sexual pervert wouldn't have let me look away even if I had wanted. But I figured Jamie didn't need to hear that part.
Jamie had stopped sobbing, but he still wouldn't look up, his face still buried down against his knees.
"I know, y'know, I know this is embarrassing, but I really need to talk to you. About, y'know, about before. This morning."
Jamie finally glanced at me, "Oh God", his face was red, likely from blushing, crying and the heat of the afternoon. He looked back down, "Oh God."
"Look Jamie," I began again, "we were just, y'know, fooling around. Like wrestling around I mean. Y'know, like you and your brother did. And look, I mean, stuff happens sometimes. Like when you're our age, well," I wasn't sure exactly how to go on. "I mean, look, I get, y'know É boners." I added quietly, "All the time. From anything. And like, well, when you're goofing around like that. Well." I left it at that for a moment. I wanted to see how Jamie was reacting. If he was reacting. Or if I just ought to continue to babble.
Jamie briefly looked at me and then back down, although he didn't put his head back down on his knees. He sniffed a couple of times, "I didn't mean for it to happen," he said faintly, "it just. Did."
"I know Jamie. It's okay. Like I said, y'know, stuff like that can happen to guys our age," I was beginning to feel a bit more confident. And I wanted to make Jamie feel better. Genuinely I did,
"And look, I promise I won't say anything about it. To anyone. It happened, and well, no one has to know, right?" I added hopefully, but Jamie didn't respond.
"And well, just now, like just before, when you were É," I started, Jamie quickly glancing at me before looking down again, "well, look É I probably shouldn't tell you this, but É sometimes, when I've been out here É well, y'know, sometimes a guy just gets É horny."
That drew a giggle from Jamie and he glanced at me again, a slight grin on his face.
I continued, wanting to relieve more of Jamie's tension, "Well, and, y'know É I've sort of done it. That. Out here too."
Jamie giggled again and quietly said, "Yeah, I know."
For the moment I assumed Jamie meant that he knew what boys do when they're alone and they get horny. I was beginning to feel better about the whole situation. This was going to be all right. A little secret between me and Jamie. No one would know. Ken wouldn't have to know. I smiled at Jamie.
"I know," Jamie said again, quietly adding, "about out here É about you guys."
Jamie's bombshell hung there between us. The smile fell from my face and I looked hard at Jamie, trying to read his face. He knew? I was praying he meant about guys in general, guys that maybe came out to the boxcar by themselves to masturbate. About horny guys masturbating in general. But somehow I wasn't able to convince myself of that.