Kellys Journey

My name is Kelly, and as long as I can remember I was "not like the other boys". I have always been a little shorter than average with a lean physique and delicate features. As a youngster I would sometimes be teased by playmates as being a sissy. I also have never cared for rough activities...at least outside of the bedroom! Instead of my youth being traumatic, however, my single-parent mother never tried to make me to conform to something I wasn't and she directed me to activities that favored my positive attributes. She was and is my biggest booster no matter what was going on in my life.

I never had met my father and my mother was not particularly revealing about the nomadic free-spirit lifestyle she led at the time I was conceived out of wedlock. However, she has always been a great provider and has found professional success as a commercial artist. We have moved around every few years to take advantage of job opportunities and because of this we became very close as we helped each survive the relocations. When I would move to a new school, I was pretty shy about making new friends and usually became closer to smaller groups of kids outside the school, from the various activities I participated in.

I was very coordinated and agile, but when I tried to play most sports I was not aggressive enough about "winning" and I didn't care for the roughness. My mother therefore got me into swimming, ice skating (initially racing and then figure skating) and gymnastics as sports, while at the same time encouraging me into music and art activities. Physically, I was best at ice skating (particularly figure skating) which eventually led to dancing, which then led to drama. I was naturally good at all of these and I happily worked hard to improve and usually was around people who did not look down upon me for not playing football, basketball or baseball.

At the suggestion of a photographer, mother got me involved in modeling which required an amount of training at a modeling school and we even had an agent to get bookings. I liked the idea of being paid (even though the money wasn't mine until I was 18), and all of these "public" activities served to increase my confidence greatly. Eventually, I focused on ballet, modern dance and drama and there were also numerous opportunities to model clothes for local retailer chains, both in style shows, TV spots and in print. While I was a good student without a lot of effort, I greatly preferred staying busy with these other activities.

Growing up, even though I had a lot of activity as a child-model, I was anything but confident about my appearance or about social situations, in general. Although relatively small, I was blessed with smooth olive skin, rich and silky dark brown hair and facial features that seemed to be considered cute or even pretty depending on one's point of view. My mother still had much of her artsy free spirit in her and had me wear my hair fairly long from a very early age. She was also a bit caught up in her "child model" so she made a point of always tended to dress me in stylish clothes as a child.

Even though people sometimes initially confused me as being a girl, the confused person usually had noticed me because of my striking appearance, so I grew to like the attention. I would sometimes pretend to be bored with modeling, but I actually loved being the center of attention when the creative people were making a fuss over my clothes and hair. Thus, as I got older I wore my hair conspicuously longer than average by choice, and I was tended to meticulous in my dress in all activities.

The other kids in these activities were a mixed group overall, although the girls always outnumbered the boys at least 2 to 1. After I turned 10, the ratio was more like 4 to 1, so what "best friends" I had were often girls. As adolescence arrived, the girls involved in dance and drama were often talking about boys (both the ones they knew as well as from teen magazines). At the same age, some of the boys began acting very "macho" while others retreated into their shell. Often I was with groups of girls and they would start talking about boys. They seemed to think me as "one of their own" and would use me as a sounding board. The closest I had been to intimacy with a girl to that point was playing spin-the-bottle and having awkward and dispassionate kisses with girls that did not excite me in the least. I felt awkward in these discussions but I was glad they included me.

As my hormones were making changes inside of me I became very confused. Unlike the macho boys, I could not even pretend to talk about girls as sex objects. In fact, when listening to the girls talk about boys, I found myself getting jealous, because I found myself desiring the attention they were receiving from the good looking boys. I kept my thoughts to myself, though I often found myself daydreaming about a certain handsome boy skater (distance racer) who was about two years older than me. We were usually at the rink practicing at the same time, yet I was so shy around him that he initially probably thought I did not like him.

Over time however, he and I became friendly towards each other but I was too shy too take any overt action. I would make a point of trying to be near him, whether in team meetings or in the locker room, and he always smiled when he looked at me. Finally, at one practice he had pulled a muscle in his back and was having trouble leaning down to pull off his skates. He asked me to help him since I was sitting nearby and we were the last two skaters in the locker room. While he stood there with each foot alternately lifted so I could remove the skates, he rested his hand on my shoulder to maintain balance.

With both skates removed, he straightened up but did not remove his hand from my shoulder. We were suddenly facing each other just inches apart and he placed his other hand on my other shoulder. I was suddenly quite nervous, but he looked down at me with a warm smile and our eyes were locked and I was mesmerized. He then leaned closer and gave me a soft kiss on the mouth that I awkwardly responded to. We repeated the kiss more gracefully and he pulled me closer and began to kiss with open mouths.

We hugged and kissed for several seconds before we heard someone coming in so we stopped abruptly. I was enchanted by the kiss but unfortunately we never found ourselves alone to repeat it, and we never talked about it before he left the skating group. I never knew whether he was gay or if it was just a freak occurrence. As a 14 year-old, part of me felt guilty about kissing another boy, but it had excited me like nothing I had never experienced.

These feelings only magnified, and as I became more aware what the term meant, I realized that I must be gay. At first this terrified me, but I felt helpless to tell anyone. It was scary because I intuitively knew that it wasn't something that was going to go away. Then I became aware of adult gay people, many of which were involved in my activities and at least I came to realize I was not the only one! Like all boys, I had discovered masturbation and this only confirmed my feelings as I would often fantasize about handsome boys.

Thanks to discreet lessons from the internet, books, movies and magazines, I came to learn the physical details about what gay sex really meant. Initially, the details of any kind of sex (girl or a guy) were difficult to imagine. With time and hormonal activity, however, I became increasingly horny and greatly looked forward to initiating my sex life...my gay sex life. My fantasies became more vivid in terms of actual sexual acts and I became quite comfortable and turned-on by how gay people had sex with each other.

When I was fifteen, I was very active in an invitation-only 8 person modern dance troupe having four boys and four girls. I was a newcomer as the others had been together several years. Two of the other boys were a year older and quite masculine, whereas the other was named Jeremy and was physically more like me. The two "masculine" boys were best friends and also paired up with other girl dancers as very conspicuous hetero couples. They seemed to always do everything together as a group of four. We all got along but went to different schools and initially I was not close friends with the other boys. All the girls were all both athletic and very pretty and they were all quite nice to me. In fact, Mary (who was my dance partner) became my best friend for that period.

Our troupe spent many hours in rehearsals together. I began to sense that Mary was exploring if I wanted to be her boyfriend. She never put any pressure on me but the opportunity was clearly there, even though I went to great pains not to lead her on. One time we did share an awkward kiss that she initiated when we were alone and in close proximity in a dance routine. I challenged myself to examine whether I had been hasty to consider myself gay, given the obvious opportunity with Mary. Unfortunately, the feeling I had when we kissed was nothing like what I had felt with the skater.

The troupe did shows regionally and on one such out of town engagement we stayed overnight in a hotel with all the boys in one room with two queen beds and the girls in a similar arrangement. After our initial successful show, we all were in a festive mood after a late supper and were disappointed when our staff chaperone insisted we adhere to our midnight curfew. Jeremy and I got to the room first and were sharing one bed. After goodnights to their girlfriends the other two boys came in.

Nearly ignoring Jeremy and me, they both quickly stripped and looking annoyingly at us and pulled the bedspread, pillows and covers off the bed to the floor on the opposite side as us. I tried to stare at the ceiling inconspicuously, but soon it became apparent that they were kissing and giggling on the floor. Then I heard breathless whispers of "suck it!", "yes!", "it feels so good!" etc. I could hear the slurping sounds of what had to be oral sex which was starting to give me an erection that pressed against my bikini briefs that I was sleeping in.

Finally, the noise was so blatant that I silently nudged Jeremy and gave him an inquisitive look about what was transpiring. He quietly got up and motioned for me to follow him to the bathroom. He shut the door and turned on the faucet so our whispered voices wouldn't carry. Jeremy said that the boys were lovers and had been for as long as he had been in the dance group. Both of their parents were going to make them quit dancing because they were afraid of them "becoming" gay. They figured out that by appearing to have girlfriends in the group, their parents would back off and they did. The girls play along so they won't lose their dance partners, plus they think the charade is fun. After a pause, Jeremy looked down at my erection pressing against my underwear and said, "I have the same reaction when I hear them, it gets me horny and need to jack-off!"

Jeremy returned to the bed and openly pulled down his boxers and began to stroke his growing erection. I followed suit, trying to keep my eyes pointed straight upward. Finally, he leaned down and grasped my penis and whispered, "Here let me help you" By me not reacting negatively, Jeremy took his cue and positioned himself to where he was able to stroke me and massage my balls at the same time with his other hand.

It felt so great to have someone else's hands on me and I was getting very excited from both his touch and the sex that I could hear going on. Jeremy stopped momentarily and pulled my underwear all the way off. In the pause, I could now hear the activity that had to be anal sex, with soft groans coming from whichever one was on the receiving end. Jeremy returned to stroking me, but then leaned down and replaced his hand with his mouth and gave me the incredible rush that any first blow-job delivers! He expertly used his mouth, tongue and fingers to produce the most intense orgasm I had experienced to- date (previously only by masturbating) and he swallowed every drop in the process.

I should have figured Jeremy was gay, but he was so shy there was no way to know and I was too shy to ask. He actually was good-looking in his own way but I really wasn't overly attracted to him as he (like me) wasn't really masculine in appearance. I definitely loved the way he made me feel however! After he finished he returned his head to my pillow and began stroking himself again. He said, "Don't worry, you don't have to reciprocate. I understand if it is not your thing." I silently laughed, since not only was it my thing, I had been fantasizing about having sex with another boy for months! I thought about the situation and knew that there would never be a better time for a first time.

I surprised Jeremy when I turned to him and gently touched his beautiful, erect shaft. I whispered, "I have never done this, be patient with me." He implored, "You don't have to do anything. It's okay." I touched my index finger to his lips to silence him and awkwardly tried to emulate his moves on me. My skill improved as I went along and it excited me that I was actually performing oral sex on a guy, as I had fantasized about so often. I felt him quiver as he was about to come and I became more aggressive. I gagged a little when I tried to swallow all his sperm, but it gave me a rush to think that I was able to make another boy have such a big orgasm. I even decided I liked the salty taste!

After lying back to rest, the other two boys were taking a break and I could hear them giggling at us. This caused Jeremy and me to start giggling too. The four of us didn't need to say anymore about our respective frolicking, so we did not! All of us boy dancers became better friends as the summer progressed as a result of our shared-secret activities on several more overnight trips. I came to realize that the other two boys were not just having sex with each other, but that they were truly in love. I was jealous of the relationship they had, but really only felt of Jeremy as a special friend.

I think Jeremy would have liked a more relationship with me, but besides foreplay kissing and hugging, our activities were limited to getting each other off and practicing oral sex technique for future use. He seemed to understand, and besides we were two horny teenagers who were regularly getting blow-jobs...not the worst thing in the world! My experience with Jeremy definitely made me confident in my ability to please a guy.

As usual, just as I was getting acclimated with a new group of friends, my mother took a job in a new city and we were going to move right before school was supposed to start. Before I left Mary called me on a Sunday afternoon and asked if I could come over to her house to do extra rehearsals on a duet dance piece that would be part of my last performance with the group. My mother drove me over and dropped me off.

Mary was alone at the house and we went to her large den and rehearse the dance parts for a while. At a resting point she asked me to follow her upstairs to her room so she could "show me something". I sat waiting on her bed as she went into the attached bath briefly. I was shocked when she emerged completely naked and her hair brush down from the usual bun she wore when she danced. I nervously began to object, but she forcefully said, "You are about to leave and I may never see you again. I have to know...so do you."

By any objective measure, Mary was a quite beautiful 15 year old girl with small but perky breasts, great legs and an extraordinarily taut, athletic body. This should have been a dream situation for any boy, but for me it was terrifying. By force of will she did get my clothes off and she pushed me back on to the bed and lay down on top of me. We kissed with as much passion as I could muster and then she slid down my body and began using her fingers to stroke me and tickle my balls. Unlike the immediate reaction I would have had with Jeremy, I was only semi-hard. This did not deter Mary and she quickly began using her tongue to stimulate me.

Her oral sex technique was enthusiastic but not nearly as expert as Jeremy who had the "home-court" advantage of knowing what turned a guy on. I did become fairly hard, but it took me fantasizing about Josh to get there. Finally, in "self-defense", I gently pushed her off of me and began gently using my fingers to massage her breasts and tickle her pussy. I pretty much was visualizing what I had seen in movies and magazines versus having any natural skill. It wasn't like it disgusted me or anything to be with her, but it just did nothing in the way of sexual stimulation.

I tried my best, however, and I actually made Mary have an orgasm by discovering where her clitoris was and gently tickling it rapidly. She became quite moist and I also massaged her vagina cavity with two fingers. Eventually she turned me onto my back and again used her mouth and hands to get me as hard as she (and my imagination) could.

Mary then straddled me and used her hand to guide my penis into her vagina. The initial sensation felt unique but the whole experience did not seem natural to me. She began thrusting up and down on me and I tried to meet her rhythm with upward thrusts of my own. Unfortunately I began to lose my erection and Mary pulled off to quickly stroke me to an erection, before trying again.

This went on for some time until I used my imagination to visualize that I was the one being fucked and that the boy skater was inside of me. This fantasy got me quite hard and Mary became close to another climax and I released one of my own just ahead of her. It felt great physically, and after we stopped, Mary pulled herself off of me and snuggled back up against me and kissed me on the cheek. Unfortunately, without my fantasies to keep me stimulated I felt more awkward than ever.

Mary sensed my uneasiness, but instead of being upset was sweeter than ever. She said, "If you ever feel differently, I will be here for you. I just wanted you to know what it felt like to be with a girl that would love to be loved by you." I felt sad because I did care for Mary. I could only say, "I am sorry I can't be what you want me to." She kissed me on the cheek and said, "Come on! We need to clean up before my parents get home." For the rest of time before I moved, Mary was nicer than ever to me and never mentioned what we had done. She gave me a big hug the last time we said goodbye and we promised to keep up with each other by email and phone.

Jeremy had become very comfortable that our relationship was strictly about sex, and he was going through a sexual awakening of his own. He confided that he had become more confident and aggressive and had had several recent encounters with other guys at his school. He said that he enjoyed sex so much he did not want to be limited to one person, anyway. Jeremy also gave me a hug and then a kiss right on the lips in front of everyone when we said goodbye! Jeremy and Mary, in hindsight, were both good friends and both were instrumental in me realizing and accepting that I was 100% gay.

It was now time to begin the move to Houston, which would be much larger and more diverse than anyplace else I had lived. Mother had bought a large townhouse relatively close to the museum district and made arrangements for me to attend a large but well- regarded public high school. The moving van had already left with our stuff so we began the day long drive to arrive at our new home.

Mother and I had always been pretty good friends and confidants, but I had not been forthcoming about my awakening sexuality, and she had not been nosy. However, on the trip down she decided to force the dialogue and asked, "Isn't it about time we had a talk, as in the sex talk?" I knew intuitively where she was going, but acted ignorant and replied, "What do you mean? If you are talking about the birds and the bees I think I have that part down."

She then went straight to the point, saying, "You are at the age now where your hormones are at work and you are sexually attracted to other people. I know it is happening to you, and I want you to know that it doesn't matter to me who you are attracted to. I will still love and support you no matter what. I just want you to be happy." My response was only a small nod, so she continued, "Please level with me. I know you and your dance partner Mary seemed close, but was it like she was your girlfriend? I have always thought you might be attracted to other boys? There is nothing wrong with that if true."

I grimaced and said, "You are right about me going through confusion. The truth is I am gay and despite Mary's best efforts to convince me otherwise, I know I am gay." She responded, "You just are what you are and I would not change a thing about you. Is there anything I can do to help you sort this out?" I then told mother about how I hated the idea of living a lie like the other two boy dancers and having to pretend I was something I was not. She nodded and told me that I had a great opportunity to have new start in Houston and present myself however I wanted. She told me to think about how I wanted to do that before school and new activities started. She said, "There are risks with being open and sometimes you may need to be discreet, but follow your heart and be yourself!"

I had a several weeks before school started to get acclimated to the city. Our new townhouse was in a great location, being right among various museums, with a large public park within easy walking or cycling distance. In the other direction, only a few miles away, was Montrose, the gay neighborhood for Houston. Either on my bike or with a short bus ride I explored the various stores, shops and restaurants in the Montrose area. Many of the people were openly gay and most of the others were eccentric and/or artsy. It felt very liberating to be in such an environment.

While looking at a local gay neighborhood magazine that was in a rack at a restaurant, I saw an ad for a hair and make-up salon. There were two men in the ad with friendly smiles, who obviously were the proprietors. I decided I needed to get a haircut anyway since my hair was now to my shoulders and it really had no particular style. Not thinking about the need of getting an appointment, I walked in to the shop where one of the owners was cutting a woman's hair, while the other was giving a different woman a facial of some kind. Both owners looked up and said hello, but when I saw the women, I apologized for interrupting them, saying that I did not realize it was a shop for women.

Everybody then laughed and the hair stylist said, "We do women, men, and everything in between! Hi my name is Mark, why don't you wait. I should be done in a few minutes." The lady getting her hair styled then said, "Trust me, Mark is worth the wait!" The man giving the facial introduced himself as Jeff and suggested I look at a three-ring binder that had a variety of hair styles for both men and women. When I reviewed the binder, I knew that I was in the right place! Some of the pictures were stock photos from hairstyling journals, but many more were of their clients. There were so many unique haircuts that they were impossible to summarize. Notably, there were a number of men with stylishly long hair in the book.

Both ladies were finished with the treatment at about the same time and the friendly woman who had gotten her hair cut went over and looked down at me before jokingly telling Mark and Jeff that my services should be on the house, just so they could add my picture to the book. Now just the three of us, we visited about what I wanted in a new hair style, which was difficult because I really did not know. After looking at me for a while, Jeff stood up and began making suggestions to Mark. Between the two of them, they also asked enough about the background to have a pretty accurate idea of who I was.

I agreed to what they suggested which was to shorten it overall, into what they called a "medium bob". Without even asking, Jeff began to give me a manicure while Mark worked on my hair. We continued talking and they were extremely nice and seemed to be very anxious to give advice and help this gay teenager who had just moved into town. I learned that they had been partners (at home and at the salon) for 12 years.

After Mark finished, my hair looked very, very styled. I was momentarily taken aback by the dramatic change but then began to get excited with the possibilities. This style resulted in the hair to be at essentially the same length, whether in back or on the sides. It still fell just past my collar in back, but stacked to a uniform blocked length that was slightly turned under with the blow-dryer and brush. The sides were well-below my ears and framed my face in front below my jaw-line. Mark demonstrated that he had left bangs if I wanted them, or they could be combed to either side. With the bangs combed straight down, it made me look a bit like Prince Valiant, so I left them combed to the sides! He also showed me that by just combing my hair behind the ears, that I could look fairly conservative. Finally, it was still long enough to pull into a small ponytail. I could tell that my hair would be a lot easier to maintain at the shorter length and with the versatile style Mark had created.

I complimented Mark, but nervously asked him if he would undo the ponytail that he had just created and brush it down like it was after he had immediately finished. With a knowing smile, Mark said, "Good call!" Mark took his time a meticulously brushed my hair. As I watched him in the mirror, I was excited because I loved the sexy haircut! It certainly was not something many guys would seek out (gay or straight) but I thought it looked great on me. If I had not been in a new town where I did not know anyone, I would have been nervous to have had my appearance altered so much with such an attention-grabbing hair-style. With a fresh start in a new town, I was thrilled!

Mark gave me special shampoo and conditioner and told me to come back any time I needed a touch-up. Instead of being "on-the-house" they charged me only $10, despite having spent over an hour and also giving me a manicure. This began what remains a wonderful mentoring friendship with Jeff and Mark. They became advisers on hair, fashion, restaurants, music and anything else I would let them advise me on! As I left the shop they suggested I visit a nearby clothing store and told me to ask for a certain friend of theirs for assistance. I actually went straight there and was so excited to be in a place where everyone and everything was so openly gay.

The net result of this visit was a pair of designer jeans; more form fitting than I was used to wearing, several snug sleeveless shirts and tank tops with different of pastel colors and a "rainbow" beaded choker necklace. I also bought some different styles of fairly skimpy shorts. I decided to leave the store wearing a pair of hemmed denim shorts and a tissue thin turquoise tank-top as well as the necklace. Between my hairstyle and the outfit I might as well have been wearing a sign that said "I AM GAY"! But was exciting to look in the mirror and both men and women were checking me out as I traveled home.

Despite all her reassurances, I was a little nervous that my mother might think I had gone overboard. However, even though she looked startled initially, when she "inspected" me carefully, she told me that I looked great! For the rest of the days leading up to school starting, I became much more comfortable dressing and acting in a conspicuously "out" manner. The only negative was occasionally, much older men would "cruise" me which I immediately discouraged, as this definitely did not interest me.

I "learned" to flirt however, and I got the attention of a handsome, athletic-looking boy named Steven that had a summer job at the Museum of Natural Science. I was definitely being adventurous as nothing about Steven's appearance or demeanor would have suggested that he would be interested in me. However, I thought he was cute and I figured I did not have anything to lose by trying.

I'm not sure whether he initially found me attractive, or just found me to be a novelty. I was pretty obvious in that I loitered around him and made small talk after I first noticed him. He had a boring job, just "guarding" an obscure exhibit so I think he liked having anyone to talk to. I think he initially was to talk to me because I snuck him gum and candy! With only small talk over the course of an hour, I asked what his work schedule was and before he could say no, I told him I would come by the next day.

I went by the next three days for at least an hour each time and spent as much time talking to him as I could without getting him in trouble with his supervisor. I couldn't have been more obvious! Each day I wore my hair differently and I wore different combinations of clothes.

I did not force the issue but I could tell he was checking me out and he began to ask questions about my clothes. The third day I wore an outfit I had bought with Jenny in the girl's department of a store. It included a white "Bad Kitty" logo sleeveless t-shirt that had red borders around the collar and shoulder caps. I also wore matching skimpy red terry cloth shorts that rode very low on my hips and left several inches of my midriff exposed. My hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, leaving loose bangs, and wore my rainbow necklace and small hoop earrings. I got more than a few stares from some of the other museum visitors as I made my way to Steven's exhibit area. If I was going to scare him off this outfit would have done it!

Instead we had the best conversation yet about his background and what life was like at school. He was much more interested in my activities that were so different than his. I could sense that he was "warming-up" to me so I became more aggressive. I stood very close to him, resting one of my hands on his upper arm, sometimes when I was talking. After I could sense he was definitely enjoying my company, I "innocently" asked if I was "bothering" him and if he wanted me to leave. He seemed surprised by the question, and immediately said I wasn't bothering him and asked me to stay longer.

However, I decided to be a bit elusive and told him I should leave. He implored, "Please don't leave, maybe we could eat lunch together on my break?" Thus, we sat together at the museum café during his lunch hour and I stayed with him most of the day afterwards. Even on a wide bench, I sat right up against him when he had his hourly breaks. Even though I could tell it made him uneasy he made no attempt to pull away when I would casually rest my hand against his arm or on his thigh while we talked.

Finally, Steven asked, in a most clumsy fashion, if I was gay. I firmly and quickly said "yes" and just looked directly into his eyes, smiling but not saying anything. He became flustered and immediately tried to make it clear that he was not gay. I just replied with a flirty smile, "Then, under the circumstances, I really appreciate you letting me have lunch with you. But, I don't recall saying that you were gay ".

He blushed at the comment, but still made no attempt to put any distance between us. He then asked some really naïve questions such as "Do you really like to give blow-jobs to other guys?" As confidently as possible, I slyly told him with a smile that not only did I enjoy giving blow-jobs but that I was "really good at it." He blushed again, but also laughed and smiled back at me this time.

Although I felt "trampy" afterwards, I was also horny and I "enticed" Steven to come over to our townhouse after work, under the ruse of looking at my CD collection. Once in close quarters, I simply asked him if he would let me go down on him and re-assured him that I wouldn't tell anyone, nor would it mean he was "gay". He did have token resistance, but I knew where his heart was and persisted.

The net result is that I got his pants completely off and shirt unbuttoned and I happily gave him a tongue-bath and blow-job. I feel sure that this probably made him reconsider his previously confirmed heterosexuality! He seemed nervous after we were through and in a hurry to leave. He awkwardly asked for my phone number, but I did not expect to hear from him again and I really did not care about trying to pursue an impractical relationship with him, since he lived on the other side of town. But, it was confidence building to know that I could seduce him, and it felt wonderful to have a hard penis in my mouth and to savor the taste of an orgasm!

As school started, I toned down my actions and dress and tried to blend into the new school. It was a big school, and it had a lot of good art, music and academic programs. Many of the clique friendships had been in place for years, so it was no problem to be anonymous. Inside the school, I decided to focus on art and creative writing as activities. These activities, along with my appearance made me "acceptable" on the fringes of both the artsy crowd and the Goth crowd. I became a little bit closer to some of the people, but none were "out" as gay and I laid low in response.

Outside school, I was excited to audition for and be invited to attend an elite dance academy, which provided instruction as well as performance opportunities for dancers in my age bracket. This was a very time consuming activity (almost every afternoon and every Saturday morning), but practicing dancing does not feel like work to me. I quickly gained the respect as one of the better dancers overall, and probably the best male dancer among the group of 16 dancers who were from various high schools and of different ages. Each was very serious about dance and artistic respect helped make the group stimulating to be with.

As seemed to be my history, I soon became pretty good friends with the girl dancers, and a beautiful girl named Jenny became my confidant. Unlike Mary, however, she immediately picked up on my sexual preferences and had no delusions about them changing. She was very hyper in conversation and confided to me that she was very active sexually and wanted to know all the details of my "love life".

Jenny was both beautiful and had a dynamic, free-spirit personality. She had an incredible ability to attract an endless series of handsome male suitors...few of whom she kept around more than a month! Jenny and I quickly became the best of friends. Her boyfriend of the moment had to tolerate incessant cell phone calls between us and Jenny would often choose to go do something separately with me on weekend nights.

Sometimes we went shopping together and gave feedback on what the other was considering buying. I could fit into most clothes in stores for girls/women and would buy shorts, jeans and tops there sometimes. Jenny encouraged me to be "bold" and one time when she was looking at earrings, she held some up to my ears and convinced me to get both ears pierced. We also got our bellies pierced at the same time...Jenny's with a rhinestone, mine with a silver hoop. It looked great on my thin, tight midriff, when I was shirtless or wearing a revealing top, and I began to wear those more often.

My mother was cool with the earrings, but wasn't real excited about the belly ring. She did seem to be relieved I had not gotten multiple piercings or tattoos, however. Fortunately, Mother loved Jenny, and I think that softened the effect that it had been her idea! Thankfully, I also turned 16 and got a driver license, and mother surprised me with a small used import car to get around in. Freedom at last!

As well as the dancing was working out, my modeling career was fizzling. In a bigger city like Houston, there would seemingly have been more assignments. But there was also more competition for bookings, and they tended to be looking for "stereotypes". Now that I was no longer a "child", my 5'9" height did not fit the 6'1" to 6'2" industry standard for male models and my features were not nearly masculine enough to fit most assignments. It was a stark wake-up call to the limitations I might have if I tried to pursue modeling as a career. We did get an agency to accept me as being under their representation, but actually never got work through their efforts, except for a couple of print ads for sunglasses.

Well into the fall, I was surprised when my museum friend, Steven, called me late one Friday night obviously a bit drunk and made small talk. I quickly concluded that the real reason for the call was that he was horny. He was very friendly, however, and I really did like him when we spent time at the end of the summer. We just had not really established any basis for a relationship (beyond sex) in the short time we had spent together. Finally, being horny myself, I broke the ice and suggested we go to the movies the next night and meet at a close-in movie theater.

When we met, I could tell he was glad to see me, but he also seemed to be looking around as if afraid to be seen. Assuming this would be the case, I had dressed rather inconspicuously. Inside the dark theater however, I discreetly began to fondle him through his jeans and he got really excited. Later on we drove to a secluded area in his car and I provided expert oral service, and he awkwardly reciprocated with a hand-job.

Even though I absolutely loved the sex, I really wasn't interested in being (or having) a sporadic "sex toy", and told Steven as we were departing that if it was a month before the next time he called, that I would not be "available". He quickly agreed in understanding, but still seemed to be awkward, so once again, I thought I would probably not ever see him again. I was surprised to hear from him the next night, however, and he told me that he really wanted to go out with me, but he was just terrified about being discovered by his family or circle of friends. I told him that I could be as discreet as he wanted to be, and we could avoid places close to his home. I learned, however, that he could not handle on open acknowledgement of our relationship even on "neutral turf".

From this point forward, Steven and I began a discreet but "steady" dating relationship and went out at least every Friday and Saturday night for about a month. Mother welcomed him into our home, and tried to make him feel comfortable to be affectionate with me in her presence. I didn't ask her for permission to have sex, however, and we would sneak moments for that either when she was not there, or discreetly in my locked bedroom. For us it never went beyond oral sex. It wasn't a one-way street, however, as Steven eventually "permitted" himself to give me head. Any hesitation ended after about 30 seconds and I could tell he loved it more than he would ever admit. So did I!

I really liked Steven and loved having a boyfriend of sorts, but I was not anywhere close to being in-love. Steven, however, definitely seemed to be falling in love with me, and he often talked about he wished he could "show me off to everyone" and be together every night. It probably didn't help his internal conflict that he loved the sex we had together, and in private we kissed incessantly and he was very affectionate. He called me every night to wish me good night and even that he loved me. It was very romantic, but impractical as the tolerance of his family sounded pretty terrible. Thankfully, I could talk to Jenny about my relationship with and she would patiently listen to my frustrations.

In the end, he was unable and/or unwilling to be "out" with our relationship in any real manner. Finally, due to pressure from his straight friends, he occasionally even had to make an appearance in his own social circles, including token dates with girls from his school. It is an individual decision as to being open or not and I actually did understand his dilemma, even though I did not like it. For awhile, I tried to be accommodating, but eventually I got tired of sitting at home and being faithful.

With Jenny's urging, I ended the relationship without issuing any ultimatums about him changing or being more open. Steven was miserable with the idea of breaking up, and pleaded with me to be patient while he tried to sort things out. If I thought that possible in a reasonable time-frame I would have agreed, but I believed otherwise. The whole experience was great but made me pity Steven who would likely struggle with his sexuality going forward. I felt sure that Steven had neither received , nor given, his last blow-job involving another guy! I really appreciated my mother's tolerant attitude even more after this episode!

Despite the break-up with Steven, things in my life were going well overall and I was becoming much more self-confident. I was doing well in school and in my small eclectic circles, I was treated with respect. The dance company was awesome and Jenny and I did things together all the time outside of dance. It was kind of funny, because her boyfriend of the moment might initially get jealous that she insisted on going out with me, instead of the boyfriend on a given night. The intolerant ones did not last long with Jenny and occasionally I would be just part of a larger group going to the movies etc.

My stylist friends Mark and Jeff continued to be mentoring friends, and were always trying to think of guys to fix me up with. Unfortunately, their circle of friends did not include many other teenagers. It had been a bit of a dry spell since I broke up with Steven, but I wasn't in a hurry to be tied down again anyway. Mark and Jeff continued to be my "fashion advisors" although budget constraints began to set in, and sometimes I had more unusual clothes to wear than I had occasions to wear them. I began to collect different types of earrings which were usually very inexpensive. Most of the time, however, I would just wear small simple hoops.

On Halloween, I decided to go to a big party my Goth school crowd had organized. I decided to "honor" them and go in full Goth uniform. I made an appointment at the salon on Halloween afternoon and Mark and Jeff were both working a female client wearing a jogging suit when I arrived. Even from a distance I could tell that the lady was very stylishly beautiful. She had long, lavish hair that they had styled with long wavy curls. At this point they appeared to be putting the finishing touches on her make-up which was very "vogue" as well.

When "she" stood up to leave I had to do a double-take, because her face and hair were even more beautiful than I had originally thought. However, she was at least 6'2" and by her frame, I could tell she was a cross-dresser or drag queen. She nodded politely to me as she left, but we did not speak. "Wow!" I said after she left, leaving all the obvious questions unasked. "Wow, is right", Mark responded. They then mentioned that she was a well-known drag show performer who would be a headliner at a club tonight. They were going to go to the show, in fact. I was astounded with how beautiful her natural features were as well as how artistic my friends had been in making her even more beautiful.

As was my custom with Mark and Jeff, I was their last appointment of the day, so they could take their time and we could visit. I told them about my plan to become Goth for a night and how I wanted them to give me the appropriate hair and heavy makeup to achieve the look...something on the order of Robert Smith of The Cure!

I was already wearing a black clothing ensemble as I planned on going to the party directly. They understood what I wanted but told me they would only do it under the "condition" that they get to try a different look on me first before they gave me the look that I wanted. Trusting them, I put myself in their hands. Mark washed my hair and curiously began putting in small rollers, while Jeff painted my fingernails and with reddish- maroon polish.

Now sitting under a hair dryer, they told me to relax and close my eyes. I could feel them working with an electric shaver, small scissors, trimming selectively about my forehead and sideburns. I could then feel plucking of my eyebrows with tweezers. Then I felt a small amount of lotion being applied to my face. I was beginning to get nervous about what they were up to but I did trust them and it felt relaxing to let them work on me like I was royalty. Finally, the told me to open my eyes and they used a tool to brush out and curl my lashes and then applied mascara. Then I could feel them applying eye-shadow and eye liner. I was now more than curious about what they were doing to me, but they insisted I wait until they finished before looking.

With my hair now sufficiently dry, after removing the rollers, Mark began to work furiously with a brush and curling iron. Jeff applied lip gloss with a small brush in a color that matched the nail polish and fined tuned what he had already applied. Jeff then replaced my simple small hoop earrings, with much larger silver hoops, about an inch in diameter. He also put on a snug imitation silver necklace with oversized beads. I could feel Mark pulling back the top part of my hair and securing in back with a clip.

They then told me to shut my eyes and led me back to a large set of mirrors. When I opened my eyes, there was not a Goth rock face looking back at me but a face at least as glamorous as the drag queen's. The hair that covered my ears on the sides was pulled back in to a partial ponytail at the crown of my head which left the large earrings prominently exposed. Instead of a wild hair style, I had gentle flowing curls that were meticulously arranged. Instead of dark, exaggerated Goth-style eye-shadow, my eyes looked straight from of a Cosmopolitan cover, with prominent shadings, but all quite tasteful. My eyes looked twice as large due to the mascara, liner and shadow. My sideburns (barely visible under any circumstances) were fully obscured by twin streams of curls that framed my face in front of my ears.

I was mesmerized by what they had done, but also apprehensive since this look exceeded the bounds of any Halloween costume I had envisioned. I also insisted to them I was not trying to become a girl! However, I definitely gained a new appreciation of my ability to look sexy in an androgynous/fem way. Jeff and Mark were hoping I would actually go just like that to the party, but I resisted. The "bribed" me by telling me that they would sneak me into the drag show after my party, so I could see their customer perform.

We compromised by me wearing no earrings, removing the necklace, wearing a black leather "conductor" cap they had in their "costume box" and a pair of flashy sunglasses. They made me promise not to change anything else and when I arrived at the bar, to put back on the large earrings and necklace and take off the sunglasses and cap. I definitely looked unusual, but with these adjustments, not too outrageous for the group of people I was going to hang out with!

It ended up being the best Halloween ever! The high school party was basicall a rave and in a warehouse on the outskirts of downtown. Probably a good bet to get busted before the evening was over! It was a wild atmosphere, but I drank beer in moderation and declined (as is my practice) to indulge in the drugs that were readily available. The music was a DJ and they stuck to the hard core stuff such as NIN, Tool, and Ministry, along with some hip-hop. There were probably over 150 people there, so the kids were from other schools as well. I noted that among the large crowd dancing there several pairs of same-sex dancers, both boys and girls.

I caught up with the people I knew from my school and no one recognized me at first with the sunglasses, but everybody seemed at ease and they were all dressed flamboyantly as well. A pretty low key guy from school named Alex, whom I did not know well, paid inordinate attention to me. After a while we walked outside to get beers.

He was also had a slight frame and while decked out, looked more "conventional Goth", (if there is such a thing!) He casually asked if he could try on my sunglasses, and without thinking I handed them to him. He didn't want to see the sunglasses, however, he wanted to see me without them. He exclaimed, "You look incredible! You should leave the glasses off." I went on to briefly explain that I did not want to call attention to myself and that I had not intended to be made up this way.

He looked up at me and said, "Look whatever you are is fine with me. But, I have been wanting to let you know that I am gay and I have wondered if you are not also. I'm not hitting on you at all, in fact, you are not my type! But, maybe we could become better friends if we, in fact, have being gay in common." I responded by telling him with a laugh that we definitely needed to become better friends. Alex had a lot to reveal about how he had found discreet acceptance among a surprising number of people at school and that I could achieve the same thing with his help. Alex was very cute, with a short haircut with buzzed sides. His look was sort of androgynous...he was not my type either! I decided on a whim to invite him to go to the drag show and we left the warehouse party about 11:30PM in my car as he had ridden with others.

As we arrived at the bar, I reassembled the look from the salon with Alex's help and he was mesmerized by my appearance. As planned, I called Mark on his mobile phone and he met us at the back entrance with one of the owners (whom he was friends with). The owner immediately put wrist-bands on us that identified us as being under 21 (not able to drink alcohol) but over 18 (able to be at the bar). Mark made a production about adjusting my hair with a comb before we entered the main area.

It was a wild scene, between being the most popular gay dance club in town and being Halloween. I don't think Alex had ever been to such a club. We initially hung close to Mark and Jeff in relatively quiet part of the club. They seemed to know everyone there and made a point of making of bragging about my "makeover". Most of their friends were in their late 20's or 30s. I had learned that appearances are not always revealing and that gay people often look totally "straight". I usually was in a minority in being relatively fem with long hair, among gay guys, and this was no different that night..

There were definitely a lot of boys under 21 there and they were of every type imaginable. After a while, Alex and I decided to go dance together to be among younger guys. Without leaving the dance floor we ended up dancing with several different guys. Alex ended up exclusively with a very handsome, muscular boy that was shirtless and had a crew cut. By the third dance they were shamelessly mugging on the dance floor, and who knows what else when they left to be in the corner.

I ended up dancing with a conspicuously "yuppie looking" CPA in his mid-20's named John. He was "straight-looking" and really handsome and had a big smile. With myh best flirting style, I gave him a hard time about his appearance and asked if that was a Halloween "yuppie costume". He confided that he had just broken up with a girlfriend and he only recently had begun to explore his same-sex attractions. I appreciated his honesty and decided to dance with him to the exclusions of others. I let him kiss me after a rare slow dance song, but I initially did not encourage him too much since I was underage (even if he didn't know it). He told me that I was the most attractive person in the bar and we held hands as we re-joined Mark and Jeff to watch the drag show.

I loved the drag show because it was campy and funny. But some of the girls were stunning, even as several others were cartoonish. One of my favorites was a dead ringer for Britney Spears. There were also identical twins, stage-named Kara and Tara, who were really beautiful. They were all very talented however, and had good dance moves and could lip-sync perfectly. It was not my idea of a performance career, but it occurred to me that I could probably do that as well as anyone, if I were to ever try.

Mark and Jeff's client was over-the-top good and performed for about 30 minutes on her own as the main act. Afterwards, she/he joined us and she took note of me and realized I was the same person from the salon. She said I looked "perfect" and jokingly asked me to not become a drag performer or she'd be out of business. I left John for a few minutes to locate Alex and make a plan to depart as it was almost 1:30AM. They were in the corner where I had seen them go to before and were all but fucking right there with their clothes on. Alex reluctantly agreed to meet me at the car in 20 minutes.

I went back where John was obediently waiting. I agreed to let him walk me to the car. I really did not want to tell him I was only sixteen and it was not his fault for not knowing since I had a wristband on. My car was parked in a fairly remote part of a quiet street. . He urged me to come home with him but I resisted. I knew I was being risky, but I told him he could wait with me in the back seat. The more we kissed, the more my resistance broke, and before I knew it, Johns pants were pulled down and I was servicing him.

As Alex approached, he sensed what was going on and announced himself rather loudly as my cue to collect myself. If John had not already experienced love at first sight, he probably had it now, after exploding his orgasm into my mouth. I did not give John my phone number but I asked him for his and told him I would call. I sort of meant it, but I knew it was probably not meant to be. The responsible part of my brain knew it would not be wise to get involved with someone that much older even though he was totally attractive otherwise.

Back into the car and on the way to our neighborhood, Alex was ecstatic, partially because I think he was drunk from sneaking more beer inside the club. We shamelessly described what had occurred with our respective "pick-ups". Given how they had been all over each other on the dance floor, I was not surprised to learn that Alex had also given his boy a blow-job in the stall of the restroom. His guy was only 17 and had gotten in on a fake ID, so he was fair game and they later ended up going out for months.

As we got to his house, Alex asked if I wanted to come upstairs and remove my make-up before going home. My mother probably would be waiting for me and I did want to go out of my way to shock her so I agreed. His parents were fast asleep. Once cleaned up, Alex came closer to me and said, "The problem is we both gave head but didn't get any! I'll do you, if you do me." We were both horny and I had already learned from Jeremy that there is nothing wrong with a mutual blow-job between friends! Alex and never had any sexual contact after that night but we have been great friends ever since!

Although the sexual activity that fall had been exciting, I was beginning to long for more of a relationship. I almost called Steven and offered to get back together on a fully discreet basis wherein he could still spend as much time as he needed to with his "straight crowd". I almost called John from Halloween, who I am sure wondered why I had not called. This was really tough because he was very much the type of guy I would like to be with. With Jenny's encouragement, I resisted these temptations, while also vowing to back away from any more "spontaneous" encounters.

After practice one day in, Mr. Davis, an openly gay part-owner of our dance studio, asked Jenny and I to stay after to see if we wanted to dance together for a high profile charity function. It turns out that one of his friends, a Mr. Simon, is an event planner. He was putting together the entertainment for the event which promised to have over 1000 people, and have a theme of ancient Greece and Greek mythology.

We were not going to have any narrative, but along with several characters depicting Zeus, Hercules, Helen of Troy etc., create the impression of ancient Greece come to life. All of this was to go on in the background while other parts of the event were going on. Jenny and I were to be dancing minstrels of sorts and perform some fairly challenging moves. Since it only involved a few rehearsals and we were also going to get paid a few hundred dollars, we both immediately accepted!

Mr. Davis gave us directions to Mr. Simon's offices and told us to go over there the next afternoon for a kick-off meeting for the cast. Jenny and I decided to go together straight from practice which meant I was still in dance tights, covered by a sweatshirt. As usual, I had my hair pulled back into a ponytail to keep it out of my face while practicing. When we arrived, they gave us forms to fill out and directed us to a meeting room with several tables. There was about five people already filling out paperwork and Jenny and I went to a vacant table to fill out ours.

From behind me I heard a friendly voice saying, "Hi girls! Is it okay if I join you?" Jenny looked up, and I turned and felt my stomach twinge at the sight of this incredibly good-looking guy with wavy, but neatly-trimmed, light brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. Now into full view, he immediately looked distressed and apologized for calling me a girl. He was genuinely concerned and I told him it was a mistake anyone could make from behind. He then introduced himself as Jason and we told him our names.

Jenny, in "conquest mode", said in her most flirtatious voice, "Kelly and I just arrived from dance practice, that's why we are so yucky looking. We are dance partners." In typical fashion, Jenny had set the bait well, since she made it clear that we were not a couple but only dance partners. Also by Jenny calling us "yucky looking", Jason felt compelled to respond saying, "You aren't yucky looking at all. You both look great!"

By now there were about a dozen people in the room, mostly in their late teens or early 20's. As we were waiting for the meeting to begin, we talked about the event and our roles. Jason was to play Odysseus and be the central visual character, while mostly sitting on a throne. It involved no real acting and had no dialogue. He got the job through his modeling agency (one of the one's that turned me down!) and you could check every box on him having everything a male model was supposed to have. He was so friendly and had the biggest smile. Even in blue jeans and a long sleeve shirt you could tell he was extremely fit and muscular. However, despite Jenny's best attempt to monopolize his attention, he actually kept both of us in the conversation.

Just then, a late-arriving girl named Angela arrived and sat down next to Jason, complaining about everything from the traffic, to why we even had to have this meeting. She and Jason already seemed to know each other quite well and though he tried to politely introduce us, Angela basically ignored us and did succeed in monopolizing Jason's attention. It turns out that she was also from the same modeling agency and she would be the lead female character, Helen of Troy, and be beside Jason the entire time. Jenny had steam coming out of her ears with disdain for Angela.

As the meeting began, I tried to pay attention closely. Most of the characters had little to do but just look good, whereas Jenny and I actually had a fair amount of dance performance to undertake. As such, Jenny and I were going to have three rehearsals a week until the show two weeks hence. The others were just going to have to attend a dress rehearsal the night before. Everyone then went to a crew that measured us for costumes.

As I was beginning to move towards the exit, Jason pulled away from what he was doing and made his way over to me, just as Jenny did, as well. He said, "I really enjoyed meeting you both. I look forward to seeing your performance!" As he said the word "both" he looked directly into my eyes and I could swear he lingered for just an instant before shifting back and forth between Jenny and me. Just then, Angela arrived and led Jason off to ask some question about her their costumes.

When Jenny and I drove off in my car she said, "I will probably hire a hit-man to knock off that bitch Angela! The question is, would I be doing you a favor or me a favor?" Professing my innocence at understanding what she meant, Jenny described how she couldn't help notice how attentive Jason was to me. I did not allow my hopes to get up and I told Jenny so. It just didn't seem like it could be possible.

Jenny noted that it was the first time we had both had an immediate attraction to the same guy and in "competition", so to speak. Jenny said, "Based upon the way Angela seems to rule him, you probably have a better shot than me!" I responded, "Well you already have a boyfriend anyway. Why do you want Jason?" She reached over and hugged and tickled me saying, "Same reason you want him, because he is so sweet and gorgeous!"

Mr. Davis and Mr. Simon supervised our dance rehearsals over the next two weeks. Mr. Simon was very demanding, but actually very nice and supportive. He was in his mid- 40's and had an obvious relationship with a somewhat younger man who was involved in producing the show. From a technical perspective the choreography was not that difficult, but it had some clever and flamboyant jumps and moves that we would do together.

We would be angel-like creatures dressed in similar, androgynous white robe-like costumes moving about to entertain the "court" of Odysseus and Helen. I had not stopped daydreaming about Jason since the first meeting, yet was nervous about my thought because I thought it so unlikely that he would be interested in me. The self- confidence I had developed was now on hold.

The Friday night dress rehearsal finally arrived, and Jenny's mother and my mother came to watch the show since they could not attend the charity event. The hotel where the event was being held had makeshift dressing rooms set up in rooms adjoining the grand ballroom. I found a corner and began putting on my costume, which consisted of sleeveless white dance tights that stopped at my knees, and a loose, skimpy robe that covered the tights.

Just as I was finished dressing, the Greek God Odysseus stood before me with a big smile. He said, "Hi Kelly! How have the rehearsals gone?" I downplayed the act by telling him I just hoped I did not trip! As we turned to the exit, he patted me on the back and wished me luck. Whether I had a chance with him or not, Jason was one of the nicest people I had ever met.

As with all dress rehearsals, there was a lot of chaos and disorganization. For the most part, Jason and Angela sat in their thrones. Jenny and I along with several others, had entrances and exits. Finally after about 1 ½ hours, they ran through the entire event, which in performance time might take only one hour, even though it was to be spread out over a 3 hour program. I occasionally would look over at Jason and he would have a disinterested look as Angela was whispering to him incessantly. When it was time for our main performance, I looked again at Jason and he was smiling broadly at us, and with a little wave he silently mouthed "good luck". Jenny said under her breath, "He likes you...for sure. Dance well!" Dance well we did and everyone, including Mr. Simon and Mr. Davis seemed very pleased.

After we were done, Jenny and I were greeted by our mothers who had become friends through us and they were gushing about the performance. Mr. Simon and Mr. Davis also made a big fuss over us to our mothers which they loved. Jason then came up and introduced himself to both mothers and told us how great the dancing was. He genuinely seemed excited about it. While he acknowledged Jenny politely, his focus was clearly on me and I could see Jenny smirking at me, in response. Jason and I walked back to the dressing area together among the other performers and he raved about how he good we were and how he could never do something like that. As we separated and he walked over to his dress area, I just gazed at him. He looked so sexy in his Greek God robe!

We emerged from the dressing area about the same time, and Jason turned to me and said, "Listen, maybe we...". Just then Angela interrupted us and insisted that Jason leave that instant as they had ridden together and she was going to be late for something else. With a forlorn look Jason said, "I guess I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow. I can't wait." Without thinking, I replied, "Neither can I." I was awestruck by this brief exchange and just stood there and watched him leave. Right as he got to the door, he turned back and looked at me with his big smile and waved. I was weak in the knees, when Jenny brought me back to reality, with a sarcastic, "Congratulations! You win."

I was nervous all day Saturday, not about dancing, but about what I hoped was going on between Jason and me. I allowed myself to have hope, but despite Jenny's convictions, I still had my doubts that he was interested me in anything except as a friend. Perhaps he was just an unusually friendly person who was nice to everyone. As the time neared to go to the hotel, I focused on the task at hand and practiced my steps. The dressing area was chaotic as would be expected. Jason had not arrived when I had finished dressing. Since it was performance night, I had to sit still while a make-up lady added stage eye- liner, mascara and lip gloss. They actually liked my hair brushed down and did not change anything else other than asking me to take off my earrings. By the time I was through getting made-up Jason had not only arrived, but also had dressed.

"Kelly, you look great!", he said as he approached me and stood so close I had to look up to make eye contact. I replied, "Well you look pretty good yourself, you Greek God, you!" He laughed and then told me that what he wanted to ask me yesterday is to go out and have a late dinner after the show to celebrate. I innocently asked, "Oh, do you mean as a group with Angela and maybe Jenny?" He replied looking directly into my eyes, "No. I was hoping it could just be you and me."

With a hopeful view of his intentions I quickly said yes. I thanked the stars that I had driven alone to the function. Putting a hand on my shoulder, he wished me luck and told me he would be watching me. I had such an adrenaline rush I needed to gather myself before entering the backstage area of the ballroom to meet up with Jenny.

My excitement visible, Jenny noted that I seemed to be in a particularly good mood. When I told her that Jason had asked me out to dinner after the show she just nodded to herself with a big smile. She then said, "Don't sell yourself short sweet-heart, Jason would be lucky to be with you". When Jenny chooses to not be sarcastic or a comedian, she has a heart of gold and truly cares for me.

The show went off great and the black-tie/evening gown crowd seemed to love it. There were long periods where we just sat silently in the background. Whenever possible, I would sneak looks at Jason, and he usually would look back at me within seconds. Jenny took note of this and whispered sarcastically, "You guys are disgusting. Can't you wait until after the show?" Our main dance performance was better than any of our practices and the crowd went wild. When the cast took a "curtain call" at the end, Jenny and I got a rousing ovation.

Jenny's boyfriend had snuck backstage to watch the show and he congratulated me nicely. Jenny hugged me and wished me luck with Jason, and they left. I had a bit of a panic attack, when I remembered that I had arrived wearing only gym shorts and a sweater-shirt over my tights, so not to worry about changing or losing clothes. I had not brought any cream to remove my makeup either. Jason was dressed in blue jeans and a polo pullover as he arrived over to check on my status. I told him my dilemma and he laughed saying that anywhere we would go this late would have to be casual anyway. He would not hear of me going home to change and insisted that I looked great.

So now where to go at 11:30PM on a Saturday night? In a risky but gut level instinct decision, I told him to meet me a restaurant called "House of Pies" which was near downtown, close to where I lived and somewhat on the way home for him. I told him that it was a 24 hour diner-type restaurant that had breakfast foods, burgers, as well as specialty pies. What I didn't tell him was that it was nicknamed "House of Guys" on weekend late-nights because it was patronized by a 99% gay male clientele who had munchies after bar hopping. Alex and I had gone there with Mark and Jeff one crazy evening, and it was a people-watching extravaganza. If there was chance I had misread Jason, then this would be a disaster. If he really was interested in me, then there would be no better place where we could go.

Jason knew where it was and we agreed to meet there. I arrived first and was able to get us a two-seater booth. When Jason arrived, I waived at him and as he walked towards me, he seemed oblivious to the crowd, several of which were quite outlandish in appearance. As we ate a huge "breakfast meal", we told each other all about our respective backgrounds and interests. Like me, Jason's father was not in the picture having divorced his mother when he was quite young. He seemed a bit bitter as they seldom spoke and almost never saw each other. Fortunately, his father provided a financially rich lifestyle, through child support and the original division of property.

Also like me, Jason had been a model since his mother had gotten him into it as a child. Unlike me, however, he was in more demand than ever. He loved sports but was forced to give up most of them due an equilibrium problem caused by a problem with his inner ear. Like me Jason was halfway through tenth grade and attended the High School for the Performing Arts, where he focused on drama. Ironically, other than in school activities he had curtailed outside drama activities since they took up so much time. As we visited further, Jason was captivating with his smile and I could tell I was captivating him by the way our eyes met. Yet, even after an hour of talking, we had avoided the obvious question about either of us being gay or not or where we were going.

Finally, Jason looked around the room and focused on a table near us where two young men were kissing. He said to me, "Interesting place you chose to have dinner. Was there any particular reason?" I just smiled back at and told him that I thought I might not stand out so much with all my costume makeup on still and this silly dance costume. He reached out with both his hands and held mine gently saying, "You look awesome tonight and I am thrilled you chose this place."

With that he pulled my left hand to his face and gently kissed it. I said softly, "You know, I would have never thought you would be interested in me. You could be with any girl you want. I thought you and Angela might be an item". He responded, "Angela and I have been at the same agency for several years. She won't read the memo that I'm not interested in her. I don't want to be with her or any other girl. I want to be with you."

We continued holding hands as we told each other our backgrounds of awareness of being attracted to other guys. His story was more of nagging questions beginning with adolescence, while still having a very active sex life with girls. Only recently at the High School for Performing Arts, and its diversity-friendly environment did he allow himself to explore his growing attraction to boys.

His first experience was with a gay classmate who served more as a mentor than a relationship. He confided that he had later been in a relationship with a 30 year-old photographer that he met on a photo shoot. Jason said, "Basically he was openly gay and I flirted with him and allowed him to seduce me." It only went on for about a month and he had to be discreet. Jason had broken it off once the novelty of it wore off, but it had confirmed any suspicions that he liked guys better than girls. Jason did not tell his mother about the photographer but he told her that he was at least bi-sexual. She was supportive, albeit reluctantly at first.

It was soon time to go and Jason walked me to my car behind the restaurant, with his arm around my back. Standing by my car, we embraced and had a lengthy "Hollywood kiss". He ran his fingers through my hair as we kissed and he whispered that he loved my hair. "I want to be with you so bad!", he said, "And I can tell you want me too!" He then invited me to go to the cast and production party the next night at Mr. Simon's house. It took us twenty minutes to quit mugging and finally leave to go home. I was in a daze going home and went to sleep dreaming about Jason kissing me.

The next morning I slept late and my mother had left me a breakfast of fruit and bagels. We made small talk about the event the night before, with her being more focused on the Sunday paper. Finally, I said, "Mom, I got invited to go to a cast production party tonight at the Mr. Simon's home, the senior producer whom she had briefly met. I'd like to go if it is okay." Now focused, she looked over the paper and said, "Well it's probably okay, but who all will be going?" I answered, "I don't know who all will go, but everyone in the production is invited. Someone else in the production, asked me to go with them."

Maternal instinct was in full force with my evasive answer, and when she asked me who this "someone else" was. I began to look embarrassed and flustered, even though I was smiling ear-to ear. She then asked with a smirk, "Would you be going with a certain young man that looks like a Greek God...Jason is it?" I just smiled and nodded. "Oh honey," she said, that sounds great, but you aren't being unrealistic about him are you?" I replied, "I know what you are saying mom, but I think he likes me...in fact, I know he likes me! We went out and got something to eat last night after the show and now I'm pretty sure...actually really sure! It was his idea for me to go to the party with him."

She got up and came and gave me a big hug! Then she began barraging me with questions. When is it? Where is it? How are you getting there? What are you going to wear? I patiently answered all her questions except the last one, which left me stumped. I definitely wanted to look great for Jason and I had a whole closet full of clothes. But nothing seemed special enough for my first real date with Jason and I told her so! She replied, "Well, I don't remember the last time that we went shopping together, but we're going to do it today.

So early in the afternoon we went to the Galleria shopping mall and looked around all the high fashion men's stores. I saw a lot of things that looked good but nothing that just jumped out as being me. As we walked, my mother began to quiz me on what Jason found attractive about my appearance. I told her that Jason had not really seen me in anything but dance tights and a costume most of the time. I recanted his comments about liking my long hair worn down instead of combed back. With an "Aha", she led me to a leather fashion store.

This store sold clothes for both women and men and had some really wild fashions to go along with basic black leather jeans. Towards the back of the store we came upon a headless mannequin that was had low cut black leather pants that laced up in the front. For a top, there was also a very thin material, black sweater-shirt made out angora that had black leather strip accents around the shoulders, neck and cuffs, and a small fur liner around the collar.

I glanced at the price tags and that alone made me want to move on. And even though I had often modeled stylish clothes, this combo was in another league by comparison. However, my mother insisted to the salesgirl that she see if we could find the outfit in my size. It turns out that both items were designed for females. As a practical matter I could fit into women's sizes even if proportions might be off. However, there was a similar pant for men called, "rock and roll pants". Likewise, a similar sweater-shirt was available without the fur collar lining. I was somewhat embarrassed to be looking at these items, but the salesgirl was very re-assuring.

After taking my rather sparse measurements, the she gave me several sizes of each to try on. When I first emerged with the looser of the pants and shirt, the salesgirl said I looked good, but my mother insisted I try on the smaller sizes too. Inside the dressing room, I actually had to struggle to get the pants on, yet once on, they allowed for more freedom of motion than I would have expected. They were low-cut such that I had to push the top of my underwear down to keep from showing. Similarly, I could get the smaller shirt on but it was snug at every point it touched my body. The bottom of the top barely reached the tops of the pants, leaving my midriff showing with almost any movement of my upper body. Although long-sleeved, the shirt cuffs stopped several inches short of my wrists.

When I emerged, I thought they would both say "too small", but instead the salesgirl just said, "Wow!" and my mother said "Perfect". I protested to my mother, about everything being too tight and too expensive, but she finally told me to be quiet and trust her. The salesgirl simply responded by taking me to the three-sided mirror and let me see for myself. I am well-toned although very slim, so the tight pants and midriff showing looked pretty good. The salesgirl told me she would give a year's salary to look as good in these clothes as I did. Smiling to myself and now accepting their advice, I began to be turned on by the idea of purposely dressing so sexily. As to the cost, my mother called it an early birthday present.

About an hour before Jason was to arrive to pick me up, I was showering and my mother called into the bathroom to tell me to get dressed and let her see how I looked. I put on the leather ensemble as well as some low black boots I already owned. I wore a pair of black bikini underwear that I had bought previously so they wouldn't show above the pants. My hair was still wet when I showed her how I looked. She said that I looked great, but that she wanted me to trust her and let her add to my look.

She then led me into her vanity area and had me sit down. She then blow-dried my hair like a professional, leaving my hair flowing and full of bounce. She then got out her curling iron and began adding gentle waves. On the sides she turned up the ends so my ears were more visible. She did the same thing on the back, flipping the side ends up. In the middle of the back she used the curling iron to create wavy trellises. When she touched it up with a hairbrush it looked very stylish with purposeful waves. Mother had been at least as artful as Mark and Jeff.

I now knew better than to object when she applied light mascara and eyeliner, and used tweezers to shape my eyebrows thinner and tapered to the sides. She then applied light red lip-gloss, which she made me blot several times with a tissue. I was used to wearing stage make-up, and had been really "dolled-up" on Halloween. What mother applied was subtle, and not something that would automatically be noticed. When I looked in the mirror, though, the overall difference was striking. My dark hair and olive skin looked great against the all black outfit. The makeup highlighted my smile and eyes. I definitely looked "queer", but it excited me to look that way. Plus, the combination certainly accented my best assets!

I was turned on with the ambiguous look we had achieved, but I was also nervous about scaring off Jason. My mother said we could undo everything if I wanted, but she was of the opinion that this type of look is what had attracted him to me in the first place. After thinking about it for a minute and feeling so sexy looking at myself in the mirror, I decided to trust my mother. Besides, if Jason didn't find me attractive when I thought I looked sexy, maybe we weren't meant to be together anyway. Other than Jason, I wasn't worried about anyone else's opinion that was going to be at the party. Most of the people would be older; the party host was gay and it was not like I was pretending to be straight to anyone anyway!

After this thought process, I smiled at my mother and thanked her. She then said, "We need a few more things accent the outfit." She then put on a snug necklace, wrist bracelet and one inch strand earrings combo that were made of beautiful orange coral beads. The pants had no pockets at all so she retrieved from her closet a thin silver chain that had a small black leather pouch attached (for wallet, keys etc.) and fastened it loosely around my waist so it rested on my hips. I again was hesitant but had to admit that I was really striking in overall appearance, just like one of the Boss male models out of ads in Details, Vanity Fair or gay fashion magazines. As she looked at the finished product, my mother said, "Kelly, when Jason sees you he won't know what hit him! He'll be defenseless!"

I wasn't sure I agreed with my mother, but I decided to trust her and I went back to my room to wait until Jason arrived. Mother asked me to let her answer the door and visit with Jason until she called me a second time. The doorbell rang on time and I could hear my mother greeting Jason at the door. She called out to me to let me know that he was here, yet I was supposed to wait until she talked to him and make an appearance. Finally, after about five minutes, she called out with mock annoyance, "Kelly, come on down. You are keeping Jason waiting!" With that cue I nervously began to walk down the stairs to the living room where I could still hear them talking.

Jason's back was to me as I entered the room, and I meekly said "Hi" to Jason. My mother was beaming as Jason turned to great me and with noticeable excitement, he let out a deep breath before saying "Hi yourself!" At this moment, my mother quickly excused herself to "get something from her room". Recognizing we were alone, Jason approached me and took both of my hands in his. He smiled at me and exclaimed. "You look so hot! Did you dress up like this for me?" I simply nodded and replied, "I hope you approve." He then gently pulled us together into a snug embrace with one his hand on my ass pulling me closer.. He whispered, "It's only been 18 hours but I have missed you so much!"

Mother re-entered the room while we were still embracing but made no note of it. She had a tissue covering several items that she put in the leather pouch hanging from the chain. I looked briefly and saw that she had put in the mascara, lip-gloss and $50 (in case I needed a taxi). She then reminded me all the parental things about no drugs, alcohol, and being home by a certain time etc. As we were beginning to leave I leaned over and kissed her cheek and thanked her for everything. My mother was my biggest fan and had done more than I could have asked to be supportive of me, but no more so than on my first date with Jason.

I could not take my eyes off of Jason. If I looked like I had come out of a Versace ad, Jason looked straight out of a Ralph Lauren ad in GQ. Besides being so classically handsome, he had the biggest smile and I would melt when he would look at me with his blue eyes. Jason's family was well-off so it was no surprise that he had a nice BMW convertible. As we walked towards the car he put his arm around the small of my back, and I reciprocated. Like a true gentleman, Jason even opened the car door for me!

Once en route, I asked what he had talked about with my mother before I came out. Jason replied, "She was asking normal background questions about where I went to school, how long I had lived here etc. The questions were not a problem. In fact, she seems pretty cool. She didn't even mind it when I told her that I couldn't wait to get into your pants!" It took me a moment to process what he had said, but I kept a straight face and replied, "What a coincidence, because before you arrived I was telling her how I couldn't wait to get into your pants! We both started laughing and as we were at a stoplight, Jason took my hand and we leaned together in a warm kiss.

We mostly made small talk the rest of the way to the party talking about some of the people who were involved in the production and speculating whether they would be there or not. I did not say anything, but I began to have doubts about how the party would go. As far as I knew, no one in the production except me was certain that Jason might be bi or gay. What would Angela say? I began to be a little concerned that when we arrived, I would cease to be his date, but instead just a friend he rode to the party with.

We arrived at the party about 45 minutes after it had started and the bulk of the guests had already arrived. The group included everyone who had been involved in putting of the charity event. I was by no means the only person with eccentric dress. We walked through crowd until we found our host, Mr. Simon, in the dining room with his live-in companion. He beamed when he saw us together saying, "Well look at you two...the eye candy of the whole show! Did you guys know each other before or did you meet during the production?" Jason replied, "The latter."

While visually sizing up both of us, he stated, "Well you two look awesome together, if it is appropriate for me to call you together." I remained silent but Jason put his strong arm around my shoulder and replied, "Yes, we're together. You could say it is our first real date!" Mr. Simon said, "Great! You two make yourself at home and have a great time."

As the party went on we migrated around to the various people. We were not flagrant in touching, but we did not avoid it either. More importantly, he never left my side and really was more interested in talking to me than socializing with others. Jenny came late with her boyfriend and laughed when she saw us from across the room. She pulled me aside and said, "You look hot! You should see the way Jason looks at you." Angela actually apparently decided to skip the party, no doubt thinking it below her.

After a couple of hours the drinking age crowd was happy and the rest of us were a little restless. Jason and I retreated to a loveseat in a parlor room and I sat snuggled under his arm and we just visited about nothing and everything. We were sneaking kisses as well. I got up to go to the restroom and on the way back Mr. Simon, stopped me and said, "Kelly, you and Jason look gorgeous together. It's none of my business, but I remember how difficult it can be to find privacy in your situation. If you would like, go up the stairs in the hallway off of the kitchen. There is a guest apartment up there. Feel free to use it if you want to some privacy. The maid will be here tomorrow anyway. Look in the bathroom medicine cabinet if you need supplies."

I was already really horny anyway and I went back and retrieved Jason and asked him to follow me. As we passed through the kitchen, I grabbed two glasses of champagne and a confused Jason followed me upstairs. At the top of the stairs was a nice bedroom with an attached bath. It was the type of place used for live-in domestics. When Jason entered the room, I went and shut the door and locked it behind us. Jason asked, "Are you sure coming up here is a good idea?" I handed him a glass of champagne and told him that it was our host's idea! We raised our champagne glasses and I said, 'to us."

After finishing the drink in three quick gulps I set my glass down and went over and seductively leaned against Jason and put my arms around his neck. We immediately fell into a passionate kiss and caressing session while standing. Jason strong fingers ran through my hair as we kissed while the other hand massaged my back underneath the shirt. I was thinking that I had never been kissed so romantically, when Jason said, "You are the best kisser ever!" If he thought I was the best kisser ever, I sure wasn't going to let him down on what was going to happen next!

I pulled away and walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers. Jason seemed a bit tentative so I took charge for the moment. While kissing Jason, I also began to unbuckle his pants and pulled them down enough for me to reach inside his boxers and gently massage his growing erection. He was getting excited so I made him sit on the edge of the bed and I helped him pull off the rest of his clothes.

Once he was naked, I pushed him back onto the bed and silently, but seductively began undressing myself. He stared longingly as I removed everything but the leather pants which had the cumbersome lace-up front. Jason got off the bed and came up to me and kissed me again while rubbing our chests together. He used his hands to gently help push my pants down, revealing only my bikini briefs. As he gently removed my underwear, I was showering his neck and chest with gentle kisses.

Now both undressed, we both fell onto the bed together in embrace. We hungrily kissed, hugged and pressed our bodies together. Jason at 6'2" and 185 lbs. was much bigger than me. I felt small, but secure in his arms and was so turned on by his well-defined muscles. Even though he covered me, I loved having the weight of him on top of me as we rubbed our crotches against each other. This was so different than the passion-free sexual experiences I had had with Mary or and nothing like the meaningless sex with Jeremy. I wasn't going through the motions like I had done with Steven. This was not sex, and we were making love!

While it was making love, I also was ready to give my new lover the greatest sexual experience possible. I wanted to reward him for reaching out to me so sweetly and also let him know how much passion I had to give him. So I gently guided Jason onto his back and with me now on top, I began showering his body with gentle kisses while using my free hands to massage him. I was slow and methodical as I worked my way down his chest and would stop occasionally to return to his lips. Jason's had light, soft chest hair that continued down towards his crotch.

As I approached his crotch I teased him with my tongue, licking him in and around his pubic region but not touching his balls or penis. Eventually, I gently cupped his balls with a hand and flickered by tongue against them, following by open-mouthed wet kisses until gently taking one testicle at-a-time into my mouth and massaging with my tongue. Jason was getting quite excited but I prolonged the experience patiently. I began with gentle flicks of my tongue up and down his shaft and also tickling his slit. Then holding his shaft gently in one hand I showered it with wet open mouth kisses. Finally, I paused briefly over his shaft before taking the head into my mouth.

Using my best technique, I began gently and slowly and gradually increased the pace. By now I had developed a lot of stamina for giving head and I think he was overwhelmed at how frenetic my action was on his shaft. He was breathless and began massaging my hair as I worked on him. His penis was proportionate to his body which meant pretty large, and even as I worked deeper and deeper, I could not take all of him. Instead, I used one hand to massage the shaft in sync to my mouth while using the other hand to massage and tickle his balls.

Jason said breathlessly, "I am in heaven! This feels so good!" I responded by increasing the pace to where I really had to concentrate to breathe. As he got more excited, so did I and I took deep breaths and went up and down as fast as possible. I slowed down occasionally to prolong the action, but Jason started to tighten up and he said breathlessly, "I am coming! You need to pull off if you don't want me to come in your mouth!" I almost giggled to myself because Jason was so helpless under my touch and coming in my mouth was exactly what I wanted him to do.

I exerted even more effort, taking him even deeper and rapidly tickled his balls. I simultaneously felt the shaft quiver in my mouth and heard him groan, followed quickly by at least three bursts of semen into my mouth. I had to struggle a bit to swallow while leaving my mouth covering the head but I was able to. The taste lingered in my mouth as I lifted up briefly to catch my breath. I then used my tongue to tickle his ultra-sensitive balls and lick the last residual drops. From Jason's perspective, I must have exceeded expectations as instead of letting me linger below the waist, he pulled me up and aggressively began showering me with kisses.

He then turned me onto my back and began aggressively returning affection on my body. His style was more physical and aggressive that I had been with him, but it was exactly the style that turned me on. I submitted my body to him and he aggressively licked, kissed me up and down my front-side. He took extra time sucking on my nipples which became extremely sensitive to his touch. As he reached my crotch area with his mouth he paused and perched between my spread legs on his knees and looked down upon me. My petite frame beckoned him, accented by a raging erection, and so did my serene smile as I did my best to look at him seductively. He said softly, "You are so sexy. You have no idea how much I want you right now!" I responded, "Well then take me, I'm yours!"

I wasn't sure what he was going to do next but he returned to my crotch and began aggressively kissing and stroking my penis. Taking me into his mouth, he sucked me up and down my shaft, and was able to take my smaller unit deep into his mouth. It felt great and he also used his hands to tickle me, stroke me, and massage me. As I was about to come I warned Jason and he pulled away just a few inches and used his hand to stroke me as I came in and around his nearby mouth. He said breathlessly, "I wanted to watch you come!" Even though I did not come directly into his mouth, he ended up swallowing most of it. He gently tickled my balls while licking the remaining droplets off of my shaft and crotch. It took five minutes for us to catch our breath as we cuddled afterwards.

Both he and I needed to be cleaned up a bit and he got up to wash his face in the small bathroom. After he was finished I went in and cleaned up, as well. I glanced out of the bathroom expecting Jason to be getting dressed, but instead he was lying on the bed, gently stroking himself. As I looked at his perfect masculine body, I began to get hard. I remembered Mr. Simon's comment about the medicine cabinet and when I looked in I saw an ample supply of condoms and several tubes of K-Y jelly. Emboldened I returned to Jason, supplies in hand, and used my hands to get him rock hard. I then put the condom on while tickling his balls. We had not really said anything, but we both knew what was to happen next.

I put an ample amount of the lubricant all over his shaft with extra at the tip. I then straddled his waist while on my knees and hovered over his erection. "I've never done this", I said, "be patient with me. I really want to have you in me right now!" Jason just smiled and blew me a kiss. I then gently began to press the tip of his penis against my anus. It seemed much too big at first, but I was persistent and eventually my sphincter began to relax. With a deep breath I lowered myself until the head was entirely in. It bordered on painful but also sent shivers of pleasure down my spine.

Once I regained my composure, I began to slowly move up and down, deeper and deeper, and it became easier and easier. Eventually, I was comfortably taking him all the way in and he began to lunge up in rhythm as I went up and down. I had never felt anything like this in my life and I almost became dizzy as his penis massaged my prostrate deep inside.

Jason then stopped and gently pushed me onto my back and put a pillow under the small of my back. He put more lubricant on himself and spread my legs out and into the air exposing my ass upward. He gently approached me on his knees and re-entered slowly causing me to gasp with pleasure and mild pain. By leaving my knees bent, I could easily push up with my feet so he easily was able to penetrate me while lying on top. Once we got used to the positioning, we fell into a synchronized motion of Jason thrusting and arching up to meet him. As he continued more aggressively, I wrapped my angular legs around his bottom and pulled him towards me as we moved together.

This was better than any thing I could ever imagine! It felt so good to feel Jason inside while his strong arms wrapped around my back and he covered me with frenzied kisses. I knew that I would be forever addicted to the sensation of being fucked. As much I had surrendered to him sexually, I also knew that he was equally under my spell. Jason was getting very worked up and I was finding that the constant pressure on my prostrate made me feel like I would come any minute. Jason kept thrusting, but then pushed himself up with one arm and used the other hand to stroke me and tickle my balls. I almost immediately started to come and groaned and began to spurt come all over my chest. Witnessing this, Jason also groaned and went limp as he emptied his load into the condom tip deep inside me.

After withdrawing, we breathlessly fell into each other's arms exhausted and Jason held me close on his arm and stroked my hair. He leaned over and we gently kissed each other lightly on the lips, fully spent but totally satisfied. He rhetorically asked, "So this must be what love feels like?" I agreed and snuggled closer. Reluctantly, we needed to get back to the party or we would really make a scene when we tried to leave.

Jason got up and began to get dressed and I took my clothes into the bathroom since I need to clean the stray splatters of semen off my chest. After I got my clothes back on I looked in the mirror and laughed at myself, because I looked so disheveled, but I was also giddy with excitement about what had just happened. I re-organized my hair with a comb and then reapplied mascara and lip gloss. I applied both more heavily than my mother had, and only lightly blotted my lips. The makeup was now obvious, and made me look a little "vampish", but I now felt more assertive. As I was finishing, Jason came up behind me in the bathroom and wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the back of my neck. We both were about to get horny again, so we pushed away and came downstairs.

Fortunately, the party was still crowded and we slid right back into the crowds that were gathered in groups in different rooms of the house. I did not realize it before, but now that the party had gotten to its later stages, some of the last to leave were the better friends of the gay host, most of which were also gay. As such, we were not out-of-place when Jason was much more public with his affection than before as we held hands or had our arms around each other constantly. Mr. Simon noticed us and with a knowing smile came and asked, "Have you two been enjoying yourselves?" We laughed at the double meaning and thanked him and I whispered to him to bill us for the maid service. After that it was time to get home, since I had not negotiated for a late night out with mother.

When we arrived home I invited Jason in and told him that we did not have to be discreet around my mother. She was in the den watching TV and we joined her. I think she noticed that I was not quite as tidy as when I left but she did not say anything. Jason and I sat on the love seat and gave a superficial account of the party, leaving out the encounter in the servant quarters! Jason and I held hands and finally mother suggested that he could stay over some time in the near future. She later left us alone and we snuggled and kissed on the loveseat for almost an hour until Jason needed to go. With that I walked my date to his car and we had a long hug and kiss before I reluctantly let him go. He told me he would be calling me tomorrow the next day to make plans for how we were going to spend as much time together as possible going forward.

When I went back inside, my mother was beaming at how obviously well the evening had gone. Before she could say anything, I blurted out, "I'm in love!" She replied, "Well that's obvious...for both of you." With that I gave her a big hug and went off to bed to have dreams about my Greek God named Jason!

At this writing, there is no conclusion to this story, as it has been 2 1/2 years and Jason and I are still very much in love. We have spent as much time as possible for two people who are both busy and who attended different schools. Mother has done everything she could to further our relationship, including turning her cheek to the obvious sexual activity that went on when Jason spent the night.

Jason's parents were mixed, in that his father lived out of town and did not see him often. Jason has not even told him he was gay, since he doesn't think his father "deserves" to know any intimate details of his life. Jason is otherwise very self-assured and told his mother that we were involved together and that he expected her to be supportive. Jason's mother, despite knowing about his orientation before, only fully accepted it after seeing us together a few times. She and I have since become really good friends and she is glad that Jason is exclusively with me. After we had been together about a month, she put a 5x7 photo in her home office that she took of Jason and me sitting on the beach with me between his legs and his arms holding me against his chest.

I have gone on all their family vacations the last few years, and Jason and I always are given a separate room. Her mother has been dating a really nice man for about a year and they want the privacy as much as Jason and me! Initially I thought it was awkward when we would be at the front desk and ask for two rooms with king beds. But there are so many gay hotel employees and gay couples traveling, that there was no reason to feel awkward.

His mother's boyfriend is not homophobic, but I do think it surprised him that Jason was gay, since he is so "straight-looking". It also took him a while to get used to our public affection, but now he is totally cool. At the end of the day, I think he just wants Jason's mother to be happy to share his bed and she does not offer it as a choice that he will accept us as a couple.

My "style" has not changed over the recent past, meaning still very fashion conscious. Jason totally encourages me to dress flamboyantly and sometimes buys me things that he thinks would look good on me. I have become something of an earring collector and have gotten an additional pierce in each ear. For my birthday, Jason gave me a beautiful pair of diamond stud earrings and I wear these constantly in the higher of the two holes and add all sorts of hoops, metal studs, dangles, and bead earrings in the lower hole.

My hair is now shorter but still cut in a "bob' specifically, in what is called an "inverted bob" where the back is actually shorter than the sides and angles down to the front. On the sides, it falls to just above the bottom of my ears and is longer along my cheeks. Thanks to my mother's tutoring, when I am not in school I usually wear makeup in a very subtle fashion so that is not obvious. Jason really likes how eye-liner and mascara make my eyes stand out.

I look very androgynous, if not feminine, from the neck up. But in the modeling and dancing world where Jason and I spend our time, people with eccentric appearances are quite common and most people think it is very cool. I get as lot of exercise with dancing and Jason loves to lift weights so we are both still in peak condition, although with totally different body types. Between my racy clothes and appearance, and Jason's model great looks, people take notice we go places, in general. But because we touch, hold hands, and kiss in public, we do draw stares. We are not trying to put ourselves on display, but part of our personal growth individually, and as a loving couple, has been the desire to be open, proud of ourselves and not struggle in secret like so many do.

The social life at my school has remained a fairly low priority for me. Along with Alex and a few others, I am commonly known to be gay. Fortunately no one ha given us a hard time. By contrast, early on, Jason immersed me with his diverse and supportive social group at the performing arts high school. We go out with his group often and he even took me to the school's senior prom, which was anything but traditional anyway! On a lark, and with Jason's encouragement, I joined several other guys from the school (some gay, some not) who dressed up as girls for the prom.

I like looking feminine in many respects, but I have never had the urge to truly become a girl. However, I would be lying if I said that being fully cross-dressed isn't a major turn- on. As you might expect, my mother was a willing participant in helping me create the look for prom night!

We made an after hours appointment with Mark and Jeff stylist who prominently used curlers, clips and a small tiara to pull my hair up into elaborate curls and then applied a very professional full complement of makeup. While at the salon I put on the sexy black cocktail dress we had rented and added lots of jewelry adornments. I don't have a lot of body hair anyway but I had shaved my legs and wore panty hose for the first time. With a tucks and pins, the dress fit me pretty well and hid a bra with small breast forms I wore underneath.

The transformation was perhaps too successful as we were all shocked at the beautiful girl that was looking back at us in the full length mirror! My lean dancer's body made me quite statuesque, particularly wearing two inch heels. Mother hesitantly asked me (not for the first time) if I had the desire to actually become a girl. She is such a free- spirit herself that she really didn't care what my answer was. I told her, with Jeff and Mark listening, that as long as I could be a sexy guy and keep Jason interested, then I liked myself the way I was. Out of earshot of my mother, Jeff and Mark made some comments about looking forward to my "drag" debut at the clubs.

After getting dolled-up for prom night, I met Jason at his house where he presented me a nosegay that was heavily scented. His smile indicated his approval of my look, even before he opened his mouth to say anything. It did feel really sexy to look so beautiful, and even Jason's more conservative mother loved it...a lot! She insisted on taking a bunch of pictures of us, the best of which she later sent to his father (still clueless about Jason having a boyfriend!). She wrote him that she thought he "might like pictures of Jason and his date Kelly on their way to the senior prom". From the picture no one would have thought I was not a girl.

We went to dinner with a group of about 20 people (including four other cross-dressers for this night) and completely fooled the wait-staff. We had a great time at the prom and most people were completely fooled by the outfit. As a one-time event, I enjoyed being queen for a day and Jason treated me like a perfect lady! He surprised me as the party ended by taking me to a hotel room he had gotten in the same hotel as the prom was being held. I was surprised to see that my packed overnight bag was already there, apparently through some conspiracy between Jason and our mothers!

As I saw the luxurious king size bed, I felt like a virgin bride. We gave ourselves totally to each other throughout the night. As a completely monogamous couple, with multiple favorable HIV tests, we had long abandoned condoms, so the sex had only gotten better. We both had learned to keep several single-use packets of K-Y liquid in our wallets since we were always "ready" to have sex, provided we had a "place"! This night however, Jason had brought "supplies" from home, and had somehow gotten a bottle of champagne delivered which we shared in the rest periods between sessions!

As we approached graduation, we had mostly avoided discussing what was going to happen to "us" now that we would be leaving from high school and future career planning needed to take place. Neither of us wanted to unduly hinder the other's ambitions or educational goals. For several months, both of us had been exploring several individual options.

As we woke up the next morning with the afterglow of prom night, we both decided that getting to wake up every morning together was the only important thing. Fortunately in the next few weeks, things came together so that we would get to have our cake and eat it, too!

Jason is still a hunk and has remarkable opportunities to further his modeling career. He carries himself with such poise and confidence and looks great in almost any style of clothing. My dancing opportunity has greatly eclipsed my acting or modeling opportunities and that has been a very time consuming preoccupation. We are getting ready to move to New York where I have been accepted to join a modern dance company and Jason was signed to a modeling contract.

We both got accepted to schools in New York and will pursue our education while working. Jason will major in business at Columbia and hopes to break into the business side of entertainment. I will study hairdressing and cosmetology at the New York International Beauty School. I figure when my dancing career is over I will have opportunities backstage in choreography, makeup or hair. We have found a small apartment in Greenwich Village that is tiny, but big enough to hold a queen-sized bed and all the love we can make!

Who knows what the world holds in store for Jason and me in the future!

Perhaps there will be further chapters. Please email comments to

kellyboygirl@yahoo.com

Thanks!