This is the third and final installment of this story. Enjoy!
Julie Wilson, Xianhom@aol.com
Another reader commented in April 1994:
Dear Julie,
I found a copy of your publication at the laundromat and found it very interesting. I may even subscribe in the future. Right now I want to respond to one of your letters, the one from the man whose wife wanted him to wear panties.
Fancy Pants--should it be Fancy Panties?--is lucky that he's not my husband. I have never heard such childish whining about wearing panties. This is 1994! Doesn't he realize that the First Lady, two Supreme Court justices, a number of cabinet members and many Senators and Representatives wear panties?
I'd say he's in very good company.
If he's going to act like such a baby, perhaps his wife should make him wear diapers for underwear until he's ready to act like a big girl and wear his panties with pride.
Keep up the work!
Jane in NEThis letter appeared in June 1994:
Dear Julie,
My wife thought we should write you to thank you for your wonderful advice concerning putting husbands into panties and having them engage in role-playing.
I have been in panties for almost six months now, and my wife says I will wear them as long as we are married. You said that I would eventually get used to my "girlish underpants," but it certainly hasn't happened yet.My wife sees to it that my panty drawer is filled with the most feminine underpants available. There isn't a single pair that isn't decorated or trimmed with ribbons, bows lace, ruffles or some such thing. It still embarrasses me to look at them knowing they're mine, let alone having to wear them at all times.
You were right about one thing. Our two daughters not only accepted this when my wife told them; they thought it was "cool" that I was wearing panties. They have actually helped my wife shop for them. They even suggested that their brother also wear panties.
Role-playing is also embarrassing, but in my case not a great deal more so than wearing panties alone under my clothes. I would much rather be in boxer shorts and blue jeans, but these days I am just as likely to find myself in a skirt helping my wife around the house.
I recently told my wife that it seemed to me that some of the Christian Home readers were agreeable to this sort of thing since they were sissies to begin with and actually liked wearing women's clothing.
She frowned and told me to follow her. She handed me a dictionary and told me to look up the word "sissy." It said that a sissy was an effeminate boy or man with qualities more typical and suitable to women than men. She then took me to the bedroom and told me to look at myself in our full-length mirror and tell her what I saw. I was in a role-playing outfit at the time and was wearing a white blouse and a flowered skirt. She then told me to lift the skirt and describe what I was wearing underneath. I had to admit that I was wearing a half slip, pantyhose and pink, lace-trimmed panties. She then handed me the dictionary again and told me to reread the definition of a sissy.
She asked me if she had made her point. She said I was a sissy and if I had true respect for women, I should view that as a positive thing. She said that I should always think of myself as a sissy and that I should try to behave as one. She said that if I had any doubts about my sissy status I could always sneak a peak at my panties and I would know the truth.
My wife believes Christian Home has made a great improvement in our marriage and tells me constantly how happy she is with the "new me." She sees to it that our sex life has never been better.
I still have strong doubts and would not recommend this method of training to any of your male readers who is not already a sissy. I think there have to be other methods for teaching men to respect women that do not include wearing panties and other feminine things.
Six months ago I felt like I was just a regular guy who only wanted the best for his wife and family. Now I wear frilly panties at all times and am supposed to think of myself as a sissy. I don't think most men would like this, and I hope they can avoid it.
I will be the first to admit that I am developing more and more respect for women, but I sure don't like the teaching methods.
Fancy Pants
PS--My wife says she bets you have your husband Bill in panties and skirts just as she does me. I said I didn't think so because you never seem to write about your own household. Who is right?Dear Mr. Fancy Pants: You can tell your wife that she wins the bet. Actually, I did write about my own household once--in the very first issue of the newsletter, back in August 1992. It was in an article about how to get your man to do more of the housework. It is available as a reprint (along with the other Time and Tide columns for the first two years) for $10, but if your wife sends me some pictures of the new you, I will send it to you for free. I like seeing men in pretty clothes.
There is no better way to help a man develop respect for women than role-playing. Psychologists agree that role-playing is the best method for breaking down prejudice, and prejudice against women is no exception. You say that most men wouldn't like it, but isn't that strange when you think about it? Women don't feel threatened by the idea of wearing men's clothes. So why should men feel threatened by the prospect of wearing women's clothes? The only possible explanation is that they look down on women. Otherwise they not would have such narrow-minded views about female clothing.This is the editorial from the first issue in August 1992:
HOUSEHOLD HINTSDidja see Eric Goodman's article in the June Cosmopolitan about how to get your man to do more of the housework? It's not too bad for a man, if you know what I mean. Trying to get men to do housework is a frustration experienced by millions of women. Amanda says this about her ex-husband: "I could not seem to convey to him that his time spent golfing was in no way equivalent to the time I spent cleaning the house. I would tell him, 'Hey, this is work,' and he'd reply, 'You think I don't work up a sweat on the golf course?' Then he'd ask if I wanted to learn golf. Since it was my choice not to, he seemed to feel that as long as I was in the house, I might as well scrub it."
"The truth is," writes Mr. Goodman, "that beneath a 1990s veneer most men remain in the pig phase." The male chauvinist pig "believes deep in his soul that household chores--with the possible exception of taking out the garbage--are women's work. He likes a clean house. He expects dinner on the table and would be horrified if his baby were not properly fed, bathed, and in a clean diaper at all times. He just doesn't expect to do these things himself."
So what can be done if men resist doing housework because deep down, they think it's women's work? Goodman makes some proposals, but it's not clear that they are very satisfactory. One of his proposed solutions is to hire a cleaning woman. This would get the house cleaned, but I'm still uncomfortable with it. The only reason that so many women are available to do housekeeping is because we women are discriminated against when it comes to better jobs. So if I hire a cleaning woman, I would be reinforcing the general pattern of sexual discrimination.
Now get this: Women are forced into low-level jobs because male privilege reserves so many of the better jobs for men. But it is one of these men--my husband--whose avoidance of housework is the occasion for hiring a woman for just such a low-level cleaning job. So why should I reward him (by hiring another woman) for his support for the oppression of women in general just because he happens to be my husband? As Mr. Goodman himself says, "No one should suffer injustice simply to avoid hurting a loved one's feelings." So hiring a cleaning woman is not a good option.
Mr. Goodman's article has another proposal. He suggests making a list of all the things that need to be done and then having your man choose which ones he will do. In effect, this act of choosing gets him to take responsibility for those chores, so he is more likely to do them and to do them well. This approach has the advantage of using psychology to get the man over his fear of housework, but it still doesn't accomplish what I want. I am the lady of the house; this is my home, and I ought to be in control. This means that I should be the one to decide what my husband will do when it comes to housework. Letting him choose from a list means that I no longer am in control. I consider this unacceptable.
What works for me, when I am dealing with my Billy, is to use psychology in a different way. Since--as Mr. Goodman says--the problem is that he unconsciously thinks of housework as "women's work," I get him into the proper frame of mind by dressing him in women's clothes. It works! First I make him put on a pair of lace-trimmed nylon panties and a padded bra. It helps him to develop the proper attitude if he is aware of what he is wearing, so I always cinch the bra a little on the tight side. Then he has to wiggle into a tight girdle and hook up a pair of gartered stockings. These are followed by a white nylon slip and a colorful, feminine housedress. Finally he puts on a pair of high-heeled pumps, and he is ready for me to lead him to where he will be working. Sometimes, if my women friends are dropping by, I might apply some lipstick and tie up his hair in a scarf.
Other women may complain that their men don't do enough around the house, but I no longer have this problem. My Billy cooperates fully because he knows that I love him and that I would never make him do anything that was bad for him. Of course, most men are not very skilled at housework when then first try it, so you have to do a lot of supervising at first, but you will find that if you put him in a dress, he will learn much faster.
Well, that about wraps up my column of household hints for this time. Now it's you ladies' turn to write me with your tips about how to get a man to behave as he should. And remember: Time and tide wait for no man!