Adam 35
Maxieplus
Our night was full of unspoken words I had said enough, Kasey apologized several times and I reminded him several times he is supposed to be a lawyer. He started packing his clothes into his duffle bag.
"Where are you going?"
"Indonesia, just for a couple of days. I have some knowledge I can't tell anyone over the internet, so I have to physically go and show them how it's done."
"Indonesia?"
"Timor."
"So what's the business all about, remind me?"
"I told you, smuggling."
"So why you and not Hargraves?"
"I have the know-how Adam, he doesn't. Please don't make this harder than it is."
"I will talk to the general then."
"Please don't, I put my hand up for this, it's not his doing."
"I know, but I bet he pushed you into a corner or somehow manipulated you, with a grin on his face, never underestimate my father Kasey."
He didn't answer just threw the rest of his stuff into the bag.
"So when do you leave again?'
"First thing."
"You are cutting it fine, what do I tell Sam, he's already asleep?"
"That I'm away on business, that's all."
"When will you be back?" I had many questions.
"In a week at most."
"Gee that three days turned into a week fast."
"Don't be so sarcastic Adam I don't know how long, this is something I can't do in an hour."
I stormed out of the bedroom and grabbed a wine, with one gulp I tried to calm down, this is not happening he's not supposed to be going overseas again.
He grabbed me from behind and kissed me, I relented on one condition he kept to his promise and wouldn't go off on his own again, and he was to be home within a week and he had to ring his son at the very least. We made love and I was involved one hundred percent because I wanted to remember how it was with him, how he gets me so mad, and then with one kiss, I am jelly again.
He was out that door very early within ten minutes of showering and by the time Sam got up, he was gone. He will be at the airport boarding a military plane on its way to Timor in an hour and I bet you he forgets to ring his son, which he did.
And just like that my life is turned upside down again, my ghosts came back to haunt me and my bed was cold along with my heart.
I smoothed it over with our son, he was upset but happy his papa was doing some good for the world. He had no concept of what that good was, only he was doing a good job in his mind. I moped around for a week, everyone noticed my somber mood at work and after that week I was working out the back doing walk-ins. I couldn't face anyone, and I was so angry with dad that I never wanted to see him again.
After the first seven days, I had gone to the federal building and interrupted a meeting of generals, and demanded to know where Kasey was. I screamed at my father so loud that he had me removed from the building, and after two weeks I was banned from entering it. I was going insane and the constant worry was so soul-destroying. I found it hard to function on an everyday level. You see he hadn't even rung us, nothing, nada, as I held my phone constantly but the commander said he would have gone undercover which meant a total blackout, something Kasey inconsiderately forgot to mention, I was so pissed he never told me that one little fact.
I broke down one day when I thought I saw Kasey cross the road and enter the fed building. I called in the cops to search for him but was taken to a military hospital instead. Pills were dispensed and when they kicked in I walked the back streets looking for him like a zombie, so I threw the pills away. Many times I thought I had seen him, but many times I was proven wrong once again. He should be well and truly home by now.
Trish had to battle to keep me going and upright, I had taken to my bed and wasn't going to leave it until he came home.
She encouraged me, and sat with me while I sobbed, she got me back onto the meds and after four days of fighting with me I finally calmed down.
I suppose it was my dad's guilty pleasure, but he would send me updates on Kasey's progress via a lieutenant that delivered a note every day, he always signed it dad and I love you. Mostly there was `no news' written on the notes but I will give him this, he was consistent.
Mum kept trying to come and stay with me, but I resisted her begging and said I was busy. Sam noticed my mood changes, he is a wonderful boy and he kept me sane by telling me his papa will be back soon. I couldn't break his heart so I agreed with him, but all the time thought something was very wrong.
I hated Kasey, I hated him so much for doing this to me, I ignored his family but I know the general was also keeping them up to date. It was a time of confusion and heartbreak, no word from him in over four weeks and the military hadn't heard from him for three weeks, he had fallen off their radar once again.
Sam put up with a lot while I had my breakdown, he was shipped off to mum on two weekends and Trish and Eva took their turns to distract him. It was no good, I had to somehow pull myself out of it and do what dad had said, grow up. It was a nightmare I didn't want to be in and one night I heard Sam scream.
"Papa, it's papa."
I rushed over to the tv but it wasn't Kasey it was some ship in the Timor sea that had blown up. I watched the satellite film several times and I noticed the red ring on the side, I knew this ship, it was the one Kase had been looking at on the internet. It had exploded mid-sea no lives were lost and forty-three people were rescued.
"I don't see daddy Sam, where did you see him?"
"At the back, he looks like he was thrown off."
He grabbed the remote and changed the tv, my clever boy had recorded the news item. He replayed it several times and pointed to some debris at the back, it was hard to see but he insisted it was his daddy.
"How can you tell baby?"
"He's the best at blowing up things, and I know that's him, and that's all I know."
"Okay I believe you bubs, I believe you." I had to believe something and if my son says it's true then it is. I found my phone and sent a message to the commander.
`That ship is Kasey's work, pass this on to dad.'
I got no answer, and I didn't hear from anyone in the military, typical men's club shit, but I had my son, he knows his father better than me, I had to believe him.
I pulled at my hair in frustration and I didn't want to go into the fed building because the last time I was there, I caused such a stir my father grabbed me, then shook me violently.
"Grow up Adam be a man, and don't come back here again. Kasey put his hand up for this Adam, I had nothing to do with it and I am just as worried as you are. Now stop it."
"Fuck off, you can all fuck off. You may have not had anything to do with him going, but you could have stopped him." I staggered out of the building in shock and into the salon where I made another scene. My life and home were in a mess, and by the time this incident occurred, I just hated everyone, my hate for him and the military was my driving force eventually, so I started a war of my very own. After the ship incident dad had stopped sending me any information, it was like I was completely forgotten.
I had rung Adeles lawyers to ask for their help to find him. They had two men at my door within the hour. The lawyer, Mr. Walsham, was with them, and as I gave them all the data I could remember and the notes I had received about his last sightings they all took it in and made notes of their own.
"Once again I have to have your help, I have no one to turn to I trust, and thank you for coming."
"Well, my boy that's what Adele and Meril's wishes were for you. Now leave this to us and here is the address and key to a cabin Adele owns up in the hills, we want you and Sam to go and rest for a few weeks. Be on your own, sort out your feelings, and immediate future, we hear you have been through a small war yourself. Go and get some fresh air, please Adam for Adele, for us."
He left the items on the table and they left shortly after. I looked at them and decided I was being no help to anyone by staying here, and Sam needs to get away, he's done nothing but back me up, he is my steady rock while the mountain is collapsing all around me.
I packed up the car, and after kindy, I picked him up and left the city, I told him we were going on a big holiday.
He was excited to be going on his first holiday and asked many questions, they went on and on until I pulled into a driveway up in the hills an hour later, a lovely log cabin between the trees and ferns that grow wild up here was sitting quietly waiting for us. I gave myself one week, then I will get back into it. I unloaded the car while Sam explored the area, he checked everything new to him.
"There may be snakes, Sam, be very careful where you walk." He looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world, then he picked a stick up. The cabin was wonderful, with two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a kitchen and lounge across the back with a big porch off it. I took it all in, and yes this is where my Adele came to get away from it all. I saw photos of her and her son and husband on the mantle, and a big slow-burning wood heater which we probably will use because winter is coming and the nights are cold. I unloaded the car while Sam surveyed the area then I asked him to settle his bedroom and to put his stuff away.
He did that chore gladly, well, he threw everything into the cupboard, then he discovered there was a tv so that went on. I opened the sliding door and stepped out onto the porch, it was magical, it had been all screened in to stop any bugs in their tracks. The wild ferns were huge, and the trees, although far back from the house were majestic. I could hear the birds and a few animal noises as sat on a stool in front of a long bar that crossed the whole length of the porch handrail.
Once again I turned my phone on then the messages came through loud and fast. Where are you, what are you doing, we missed you at work today, ring me, and there were many more questions from my family and friends. I started composing a note and will send it to everyone, mum was my first worry because I don't want to disappear from her life again. I told her Sam and I are fine we are just taking a few weeks off, I thought it best in the light of the situation. I didn't say where I was, only I was on a holiday and didn't want to be disturbed. I loved her very very much and will ring when I felt a little better.
Much the same was written to Trish and my workmates. I didn't answer dads messages because I had run out of questions and he had ignored my last message. I wasn't confident that Meril's men could do anything much, but at least I had to try. That bought my mind back to Kasey, my tears started and I felt so all alone. If the inevitable appears and something bad has happened to him, I have to deal with it for Sam's sake, he must be my priority. I looked through the window and he was laughing at his cartoon so I stepped back inside.
"What do you want to eat baby?"
"Anything daddy."
"Ok how about some cheese and tomato toasties?"
"Cool daddy."
So I turned the fridge on and started stacking the limited food I had bought inside it, I left the bread butter, and cheese out then lit the grill on the not-so-old stove.
By doing this I will have a good routine, something to do with my son, something to keep my mind off what I was constantly thinking. I won't let the apartment become a jail for me ever again, and while Kasey isn't there we will be safe in the hills. I thought of Adele and her son, is this how she got through it? did she buy this place for some solitude? It was the perfect getaway, and one day I hope to bring Kasey here, he will love it. Tears, so many tears as I unpacked my stuff and started placing it in the drawers. I can't be thinking of the future it was too bleak and heartbreaking to bear. I splashed my face and went out to feed Sam, I made myself one also then I sat with him.
"You worry too much daddy."
"I do baby, but I can't seem to shake it off."
"Papa will be home soon, he will make you all better."
"How do you know that son?"
"Because he is the best at everything, he is doing his job."
"But he hasn't rung us, I am worried he's sick or something."
"He lost it, it got stolen, he ran out of credits. It doesn't matter daddy, he's the best and he will fix it all and he loves us."
I kissed his head and took a bite of my toastie. Sometimes I think he's the adult in our household, he's so worldly and clever. Maybe he knows something I don't know, or maybe he's thinking positively because he doesn't want to think about the alternative, and there was that one thing, the explosion with debris falling off the back.
I felt a chill in the air, it does get cold up in the hills when the sun starts to go down, so I thought I would light the fire, it was already set so all I had to do was ignite it. As it burst into flames I opened the bedroom doors so the heat will carry through. We watched a few shows and I allowed him to stay up later than usual, we snuggled under the blanket but that's the last thing I remembered doing, we both fell asleep on the floor surrounded by pillows.
I can't remember the last time I slept so well. I opened my eyes and the cabin was lit up and sunny, we had slept in late and the sun had come up. The fire had died down, so I put another log on just to keep it going for tonight. I made coffee then my son decided to stretch and sit up.
"Did you sleep well, baby?"
"The best daddy did you."
"You know I did, the best also."
"Can I play with the kids today?"
`"What kids?"
"The ones that live next door, I saw some bikes in their driveway do you think they will let me play with them?"
"I don't know, we will have to go and ask. I need to go for a trip to the shops down the road I forgot to bring some mosquito spray, maybe we can ask the shop owner if any little kids are living close by."
"Okay daddy, but I will look first they maybe will be outside."
"Good, you do that and don't go too far, we need to shower and dress." Keep it simple, keep it real Adam.
I threw a bathrobe on and took my coffee outside, it was still cool but the sun was out and shining straight onto the porch, the birds had long woken up and were off here and there doing their thing for the day. I soaked it up and felt half alive again. My talk with Sam last night reignited my faith in Kasey, if there is a way he will find it, and come home to us again.
I looked at my phone and a message had come through from the lawyers. No sign of him but a white man was living there for a week or two, but he had long disappeared. He had been seen hanging around the dock area, so the sources said. Keep up the faith Adam, it concluded. I sent back a note to say thank you and to tell them that this place is awesome for healing.
There was a knock on the door and I went to see who was there.
A gorgeous man stood there in his gumboots and plaid shirt.
"Good morning, I am George from next door are you missing a son?"
"Yes, Sam, he thought he saw some kids over there and went to investigate."
"Okay, he's safe and okay with my three boys, they are playing at the moment I just thought I would introduce myself."
"My name is Adam, and thank you, George, he likes playing, how old are your boys?"
"Four, six, and seven, so he's in good company, they have stacks of toys to amuse him, are you here alone?"
"I'm sorry come in, coffee?"
"That would be nice, thank you."
He followed me to the back and I made us a fresh pot.
"Love this place but the old lady wouldn't sell it to me, said it belonged to her son."
"Who, Adele?"
"Yes that's her name, are you her son?"
"No, just a good friend, she passed away nearly two years ago and her family is letting me use it for a while."
"I'm sorry to hear that, she was a lovely lady but kept to herself mainly."
"She was, will the kids be okay on their own?"
"Yes completely trustworthy Adam."
"Your wife is home?"
"No, she passed well over a year ago, it's been tough on us all." He looked down and I felt awful.
"How bloody sad for you all, I am so sorry George. How the hell do you cope?"
"I pretend she is still here, and I talk to her all the time, the kids will go on but sometimes I think I won't make it."
"I know the feeling."
"You lost your wife too?"
"No, I'm in the process of coming to terms that my husband may never come back home. Don't be shocked, he's on a mission for the military in Timor. I haven't heard from him for weeks now."
"Do you think something happened to him?"
"Yes, but I pray he's keeping well, but sometimes I lose the fight and succumb to the tears."
"Yep, that's my life wrapped all up in one sentence." I made the coffee and we sat on the balcony.
"Love this house, I wanted to buy it and move my sister-in-law in, but it wasn't to be, so she bought the house across the road when it came up for sale. You cant see it from here, but she helps me with the kids and I am very grateful to her."
"Good, so your not on your own then?"
"Not really, but I feel I am constantly."
"We have a lot in common George, hopefully, the pain will dull as the days go by, I am a very hopeful person."
We sat there talking for the next hour or so, he told me about his wife and I told him about Kasey. It did me some good to talk openly with a perfect stranger and I know by the end of our talk we were both smiling, something that was very rare nowadays.
We could hear the kids screaming in the background so he excused himself and walked out to see what was happening. A half-hour later he was back with an invitation to join them all for lunch. I showered and then walked next door, they had a trampoline and Sam giggled as he jumped up and down with three other boys. I met June, George's pretty sister-in-law, and was seated at an outdoor table with a coffee in no time at all. She was a very pleasant lady and loved her nephews to death, she only hinted at Sam's papa being away, I knew she was still feeling the pain of losing her sister.
"What do you do Adam?" She asked as she played with her wild dark hair that hasn't seen a salon for months. I started laughing, she looked shocked and I said, sorry.
"No, it's okay I'm a hairdresser." She smiled and blushed.
"And yes by the time I leave, you all will have new looks." I laughed again and I felt good because Kasey wasn't in my head.
"It's just what we folks need up here a good salon, we have to travel miles to get a good haircut, and sometimes it's too hard, so we go without."
"Well not this time and there will be no charge I can assure you."
She was gracious and didn't argue with me over money, after all, I am getting lunch provided, which is good because I don't have to cook.
It had been a wonderful day for us both and I know Sam will be asleep early, he was all tuckered out and didn't even ring Billy. I watched the mist close in and the birds had gone quiet, there was a still in the air and all was good for a time. I picked my phone up and rang Trish, she almost had me drawn and quartered by the time I said hello. I told her where I was and she was to keep it under her hat, then I invited her up to spend a night with us. She would be very happy to do that but she won't bring Evans, he can stay at home.
I told her about the people next door and that we had a great day and she could hear that my voice had lifted a bit, and I knew she would be pleased.
"There is an opening for a salon to be set up here do you like the country?"
"Yes Adam, I love it so much I live in the city, make sense to you?"
I laughed and told her about my hunky neighbor.
"I doubt Evans and I will get married Adam, so yes I can take on three kids just to get my hands on their hunky daddy...NOT!"
She was being sarcastic again so I laughed along with her for the next hour. After I disconnected the call I went back inside, the fire was wonderful and Sam was asleep on the floor again. I threw the blanket over him and went to shower again, then I may have an early night next to my son, my Kasey won't be too far away from us, because Sam told me so.
It was my turn today, and I copped four boys all talking at once sitting on the floor and couch watching their toons. I wanted to return the favor for lunch yesterday so I rummaged through the fridge, it wasn't bare but pretty close to it. I have to do some shopping and June had told me there was a small supermarket in town, but I didn't want to leave the kids on their own. As luck had it she knocked on the door.
There was no particular reason except she wanted to check up on the boys. I asked her to stay while I went shopping and she was okay with that, so I dressed to impress and motored the one mile down the road. The shop was small but it had everything I would need for a good casserole, I can slow cook it on top of the heater and maybe we can all have it for dinner. I grabbed more bread and rolls and some tinned stuff that I know Sam liked to eat. Spaghetti cheese and a hundred dollars lighter I struggled to get all my stuff into the car.
I had spied a cake shop that served coffee so I thought I might treat myself. It was far from busy and the cakes were limited but it had a good vibe and the lady behind the counter was pleasant enough. I sat in the morning sun just looking at the small town, there weren't many shops and I doubt whether a salon would work here unless there's something I'm not seeing.
Someone sat beside me.
"Can I join you?" She had her coffee in hand and dropped a black silk item on the table.
"Of course you can, it's so peaceful here."
"My name is Rhoda, can I read your cards, no charge. There's something I need to know."
"Of course you can, but I doubt whether you will find anything."
"An unbeliever I think." She lifted her eyebrows.
"No, just never had my cards done that's all, what do I do?"
She made me cut the cards and she placed them in three stacks, she hunkered down and started sipping on her coffee. It seemed like ages but she finally said.
"Two broken souls destined to be one, we know deep down the one we love forever would never be parted. You should listen to your son more, he is correct."
My jaw dropped and I spilled my coffee.
"Was I close?'
"Spot on."
"I'll get you another, no charge." She smiled and I sat there with a revived spirit. Sam is right, he will see his papa again and so will I. I am a believer now, whether she was fooling me or not, I have a fierce self-belief that once again, he will return. My determination leaves me, then comes back at unexpected intervals, and today it's back.
"I like to shock people, as I keep saying to George, she will return in a different costume, he still thinks it's all bull." She laughed.
"Do you think that Rhoda?"
"Yes positive, he has already met the person, but doesn't see her." She grinned at me. I knew exactly what and who she meant. Time for one of Adam Sutton's makeovers I think.
I walked away with a spring in my step, dad is wrong, the military was wrong, but my son is right.
When I got in I picked him up and hugged him, then I thanked him. He struggled down because I think I just embarrassed him in front of his new mates.
"Now what have you got on for the next hour June?"
"Nothing much Adam, why?"
"Hang your head over the sink, I think it's time for me to get back to work."
She was quick to do that little task and I pulled the shampoo and conditioner out from my shopping bags.
I had a big audience and if Sam said it once he said it ten times that I was the best at my work, where have I heard that before?
She looked stunning and the boys screamed at her new look, she also looked ten years younger, so I told her dinner will be at six and she should dress to impress. George will see her now, and my insides did the happy dance.
The casserole turned out great, that's the one good thing I can cook. My little cabin was crowded but we made do, June had dressed to impress in a short black body-hugging frock, she even wore a strand of pearls. George couldn't stop looking at her all night and my heart throbbed with love. The boys were next to be changed, dad had been doing their hair with the kitchen scissors and losing the battle.
"What styles do you like boys?" All three pointed to Sam's hair, it's just like his papa's.
"I see military with a touch of uncle Adam, is that okay with you George?"
"Please daddy, please can we have that one." The eldest said.
"Yes son, of course, you can." He got a hug for that answer.
I filled my spray bottle with water and sat the oldest on a stool. It didn't take long and he looked much better, it was Sam that went to find the gel and they went crazy. I think they don't get pampered too much, but tonight they were.
The mirrors were all used until they had to leave, it was getting late and June was going to help settle them in. I asked Sam if he had enough food and he said yes, but he was tired again, so another log on the fire and pillows were splayed out on the floor, I watched tv while he went to sleep. I doubt whether we will use the beds while we are here, it's too cozy in the lounge.
He played next door all day and the next, and the same thing happened on them days. He played next door then we slept on the floor, Trish will appear tomorrow and I was so looking forward to it. I had spied a pizza place that did deliveries in town so I grabbed a menu. I think it's time for a wine and pizza night. Again while I went to the shops and Sam played with his mates, he rung Billy three times and I talked to mum once, but not dad. I said I will be home soon and it was time the boys caught up. So I invited her for dinner one night.
When Trish arrived she hugged me and her beautiful smile warmed my insides. She went ape shit over the cabin and had to look in every corner. I opened the wine and she sat and talked to Sam, he was having a great time and didn't want to go back home again, ever. She laughed and I laughed along with her, I took her over to introduce her to the neighbors.
"I can see Adam Sutton has had his scissors out."
"Correct."
"We love our hair miss Trish." One kid said.
"Well you all look so smart, he did a good job."
We sat and talked to George and June for some time, it was all about what sort of work they did and how they survive the bushfire season. I found out that George has a mechanics shop in town, if someone needs work they either book in, or Rhoda rings him to come into work. June does bookkeeping online, she has been doing that job for years, and she looks after the kids when George has work to do. We invited them for dinner but tonight their meal had been already cooked, they were having spaghetti, the boy's favorite food.
So we are all going Italian tonight, maybe we will get together on the weekend I have a big roast I have to cook at some stage.
Sam had played while we talked, then it was time to go home, the birds were dying down so dusk is near. We ordered our pizzas then sat back and relaxed to wait for their arrival.
"It's so peaceful here Adam, has it been good for you?"
"Yes, Trish, very good, and Trish?"
"Forget it, I know what you are going to say and I know what you have been going through, so forget the apologies. No one blames you for anything. Just try to be happy for the moment and as you always say, he will return."
I kissed her and my arm went around her shoulders then the knock at the door happened.
Sam was straight onto it, cheese was dripping down his chin as he licked his lips, he loves pizza. Trish and I sat at the small table and talked, we talked about the salon and the staff, but we didn't mention Kasey or the military.
After we had our fill we cleaned up and Sam had closed his eyes, once again he was tuckered out. I told Trish she could snuggle on the floor with us, or take any bed she liked, but she decided to stay with us. With her on one side and me on the other we had Sam snuggled in between us.
The morning was almost the same as the last four days, the sun woke us up, and once again I had slept well. Trish commented it was the best sleep she has had for ages, Sam wanted toast and tv. We started folding up the blankets and I threw another log on the fire.
"We can take a walk into town if you like, there's a lady there that reads cards and we can sit in the sun. Although the cabin gets some morning sun it doesn't get the afternoon rays, the trees are too thick, George's place is cleared and he does get afternoon sun, good for growing kids.
We made breakfast and had showers, I put Sam in with me and thoroughly washed his hair, it was filthy from scurrying around in the bushes.
The commander had called a few times and the word on Kasey's disappearance wasn't good, he was still nowhere to be found, but they had traced his phone to a house in the hills, the guy that had it admitted he had stolen it in town. So Sam was half right once again but Kase had the funds to set up a new one, but he didn't for some reason.
Trish had her cards read and like me, she told Rhoda she was spot on with her predictions. I didn't listen in, I looked through her shop instead, she sold crystals and healing products as well as coffee and cake. I asked her what was Sam's birthstone and she said Amethyst so I picked out a small stone pendant and chain to give him. We exhausted ourselves getting back home and I felt a lot better within, little steps Adam, I told myself.
I don't know whether it was me, Sam, or that little cabin that was making my head think clearer but I did know Adele was here with us, I could feel her presence constantly and talked to her when I felt like I was flagging again.
I gave Sam his little stone and locked it around his neck, he had to go look in the mirrors a few times and it sparkled when he moved about. I told him it was his safe stone and whenever he felt down he should rub it and his mood will lift again.
"You should have got one too daddy, you sure have been up and down a lot lately." I laughed and the next time I was in town I walked out of Rhoda's shop with a nice peridot gem around my neck.
Donatons to Nifty are gratefully accepted.