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I graduated from high school two months ago. I'm nineteen, almost twenty; older than most, but I spent two years in a wheel chair when I was three. That all worked out okay, but my life was out of sync with my peers. I am a person and I am a people, but I'm not a people person. I think I'm a nice man, but I've never had a close friend of any gender. I know as much about sex as I do about dissecting a dead piglet, all of it, but all the facts, none of the experience. My parents love me, but I have no place to go. "You've got to get a job, son, if you're not going to go to college." I didn't see I had any future, my parents would pay for college, but I had absolutely no direction in my life. I ended up flipping what they called hamburgers (fat and offal) at a fast-food restaurant, I wouldn't eat one of those things.
I needed a life. But didn't know how to find one. I went to the library looking for self-help books. I picked up six and went to check out.
"I've been watching you, son, these aren't what you need. These are for this, she tapped me on the forehead. You seem to need something for this. She tapped me over my heart. She wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to me. "I'll put these back." What she gave me was a website called Lost Karma.
I logged on, there were three or four other people already on, I picked one.
"Romeo, is that your real name?"
"What do you fucking think, Einstein?"
I am so socially inept. "Is there a Juliet?"
"Wish there were, then I'd be dead by now."
This was getting a lot heavier than I expected. I made my second cool move.
"Where are you, Romeo?"
"Hell."
"I mean really."
"I told you, damn it. Ask again, fuckface, and I'll block you."
Oh boy! I was between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to hang up and change my address, but it was obvious that my problems were nothing compared to his.
"I've got to go Romeo, but I'll be back."
"Might be here, might not."
I spent a long time thinking about how I should interact with Romeo, I never really had a social conscience but I needed to build one fast.
I logged on that night, tapped Romeo, and he was there instantly.
"What you doing?" A clever opener. What I got back floored me.
"Starting to jackoff, Ben."
"Why."
"Who needs a damn reason, just a place? I'm talking to a man and decided to whip it out and play with it." Same sweet Romeo.
"Don't really do that much, Romeo."
"You got a fuck hole to stick it into?" If Romeo was nothing else, he was eloquent.
"Never had one, ever."
"And you don't wank, shit man, you need a life."
I decided to give him some of his own medicine, "Why do you think I'm on this fucking website, asshole, enduring insults from a piece of shit like you?" He took it well.
"Are you gay?" he had given me an entry.
"I've got this big hard thing in my fist and playing with you, and you ask that?"
"Just answer me." He opened up more than I expected, I guess I found the right key.
"I've had both, every woman I had was a cunt in the ugliest way, and most men have been assholes, again in the ugliest way. I only do it this way anymore for myself."
"Do you do it every day?"
"LOL, just LOL, on a good day it's four times."
"So, are you gay, Ben?"
"I'm nothing, Romeo. I told you."
"Are you in a private place, Ben?"
"Yes."
"Get naked, we're going to do this together."
"I don't know, Romeo."
"Get your fucking clothes off, we are going to do this." I did.
"I guess I know how to do this, but not well."
"Let me take care of that, Ben."
Oh, was it good, that man knew what a cock was for and what to do with it. I'm glad he told me to strip, because when I came, I had cum across my right eye and some hanging off my nose. My body was covered with it.
"Tell me all about what just happened for you, Ben, don't leave anything out." I did what he asked, down to the cum on my nose.
"That just did it for me, Ben, yours was probably better, but I'm happy with the one you gave me."
"I've got to go, Romeo. When is a good time for us to connect?"
"Pretty much anytime, except between 10:00 P.M. and four in the morning."
"You work graveyard?"
"You could say that, in more ways than one. G'night."
There was something about Romeo that grabbed me hard, I had to know more about him.
"Hi!"
"Well Romeo, are you jacking off?" Am I a great conversationalist or what?
"A couple of hours ago, but if you want to we can do it together."
"Maybe later. Will you tell me about yourself?"
"No fucking way, Ben."
"Can I tell you about me?"
"Please." That may have been the first polite word he'd ever shared. I did, but there really wasn't a whole lot I could share.
"Damn, Ben, you've had a very dull life."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Do you really want to know about me?"
"More than anything."
"This isn't going to be pretty, Ben."
He shared it all, much more than I expected, and it was very hard to take. Romeo had been sexually molested by his step father since he was fourteen. His mother knew. At eighteen he was kicked out of the house with nothing but the clothes on his back. He sold himself to survive. He now lived in a cheap motel in gay town. The reason we couldn't connect at night was because he was cruising gay bars and doing tricks, I now understood what he meant by graveyard. My god it hurt to read all that.
We connected at least once every day. His harsh shell cracked open, and there was really a sweet man in there, I don't think he ever knew it himself, until I peeled that husk off of him.
"I know you live in hell, and I now understand it, but I don't exactly know where it is." He gave me a zip code. Oh, god, he lived here!
I told him where I lived and asked if I could come see him.
"No Ben, not a good idea."
"You've given me enough to come find you, Romeo, and I will."
"Please don't, Ben."
"Can't honor that, Romeo. Just tell me how to find you." He finally did.
I knocked on a motel door and a man answered. I couldn't believe what I saw. He was beyond beautiful, but there was a lot of pain in his face.
"Romeo?"
"Ben?"
I went into the room.
"Now that you're here, do you want to?" Romeo said, pointing to the bed. That really hurt, his life was so terrible, and every other man who came through this door had been there.
"No, Romeo, maybe someday, I don't know, but not very soon, and not here."
We now had a real person to share with, and we turned the cameras on. It was a whole new life with him.
My life had no purpose until now. I had to find a way to dig Romeo out of there.
I didn't have a degree, but I'm a pretty smart dude. I got myself a real job, with a salary, not a wage, and tripled it in less than a year. Romeo and I stayed together, but I never went back to the motel. I hated what men were doing to him there, and so did he.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm taking you away from this."
"Why?"
"Because someone in your life has to do it, you can't."
"Ben, you are the only one in my life, but this is my life; my ugly life, it's all I have."
"Not any more. I don't remember asking, Romeo, get your shit together and get your ass out here." Two years ago, he would have slugged me, but he came.
"It's Romero."
"What?"
"That's my real name."
"I'm so used to Romeo, how about we just put them together and I call you Romo?"
"I like it."
"This is your room, Romo, for as long as you want it."
At about three in the morning there was a knock on my door. "Come in, Romo."
"Ben, I need you."
"I'm here."
"I don't know how to say this," he was hurting. "I've never gone to sleep at night without being fucked at least twice. I hated it, but my body needs it. Can you do it for me."
"I would, but I don't know how."
"I'll show you."
He gave me a blow job until I was hard and then told me where to put it, and what to do with it. Wow!
I don't know where this came from but I asked, "Romo, will you do that for me."
"Do you know what you're asking?"
"Not in the slightest, but I know I want it."
I just fucked him, and all I expected was his dick up my ass, but he made intense and passionate love to me. It was like years of need that spilled beautifully on to me, I didn't know what sex with a man could be, I learned.
I had kissed before, but nothing like this. He forced his tongue between my lips and sucked mine into his. I copied him. I didn't know why men needed nipples, he showed me. They were awfully sensitive and he made them hurt, but nicely. I didn't' really know how my body could feel, but he didn't miss an inch, from my neck to my knees. And then there was my ass. I never knew it could feel like that, I had had some very satisfying shits, but what he did down there with his tongue and mouth and cock was unbelievable.
"Ben, you told me that that was my room as long as I want it. I don't want it anymore."
After what he'd just awakened in me, I took that very hard.
"I want this to be our room as long as you want me in it." I reached out to him and hugged and kissed him, two things I had never ever done an hour ago."
I took Romo to a nice restaurant, one we liked. I needed a safe place to tell him. Home wouldn't work. "I've got to go to New York, Romo."
"For how long."
"I think forever."
"What?"
"I've been offered a sweetheart position at a Wall Street firm, it's way too much money to turn down. You don't have to leave the apartment; I'll keep paying for it."
"That hurts, Ben, I don't want to feel like a kept man again, even by you. I can handle it myself."
"I'd take you with me, but this firm is so straight you wouldn't need a ruler to draw a line. If they knew about you, I would have never gotten the offer."
We both enrolled on Karma again, this time I used a pseudonym, and every night we made love with each other, but miles apart.
"Did you get my present?"
"Something came in the mail, but I haven't opened it."
"Go get it."
I opened it and it was a box labelled "Pick your Dick."
We were on video, as always. Inside was a dildo, a very real, fleshy one. "This looks a lot like you, Romo."
"It's not a lot like me, it is me. I had it made for you. Now show me what you're going to do with it."
I sucked on it and stuck it down my throat, damn I missed that, then stood up so he could see me shove it up my ass.
"Sweet, Romo, you have to tell me how I can send mine back to you."
I missed him dearly, but cyber sex was very satisfying, and it was all I had.
"What's this, Ben?"
"What does it look like? Dip shit." We still did that, but it was pillow talk now.
"A one-way first class airplane ticket."
"You're getting swift in your old age. I'm a vice president now, and I have a life time irrevocable contract. I need you here with me."
"Ben, I can't be a kept man again."
"I don't want to keep you, Romo, I want you to keep me."
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