Justin's Story Chapter 8 3/29/00
Written By: Justin Case
Disclaimer: This story is a tale of young gay love, and contains graphic sex. If it is illegal where you are, stop, look around is anyone watching. No, then go ahead and read it, but don't tell anyone. I know I won't. Now for you flames that come in here, what the hell are you up to? Its called latent homosexuality, deal with it, give someone a blowjob, you'll be a better man. You don't have to live in denial any longer.
Justin's thoughts. Well, boys, here we are chapter 8. I want to thank the many of you for writing me. I guess you like the story. I know I did when I lived it. Many of you ask my age, and if the story is true. Let me say this. I am a fictional writer. The story is based on my life, but it is fiction. A lot of the things that happen in the story happen in my life. They don't happen in the exact sequence that I write about necessarily. Some of the things I write of are for effect, and never happened in my life. I will try to keep you filled in at the end of each chapter what was real, and what was not. One reader even asked if I was gay. Is he reading the story I'm writing? I told him "Ya never know, but just in case treat me nice, and just in case I'm not treat me nice." I wonder if that cleared it up. OOOHH boy, what was he reading?
I write to give others hope. Hope that there is happiness out there. Hope that there is understanding out there. I ask you all, for your prayers. One of my young friends is 15, and having a hard time with his sexuality, he has tried to kill himself. Please pray for Richard. We're going to spend time together this weekend, all I can do is be his friend. I will pray, and turn it over to my God, and ask you to do the same.
Now on with the story: ---------
I woke up Monday morning in Ryan's bed, he held me in his arms. I was so at peace. It had been a week since JT had been murdered. Only seven days had passed, and it seemed like my whole life. It amazes me when something tragic happens in your life, how you grow. Time stands still, and lets you grow.
I felt a twinge of guilt. It had only been a week, how long are you supposed to mourn the death of a loved one? I wondered to myself, and an answer came, as long as you need. As long as you need. I was still feeling bad about dissing my grams yesterday, and now I'm feeling guilty about sleeping with Ryan a week after JT's tragic death. I remembered the shooting star that I took as a sign, the sign that said go for it. I imagined it was JT, saying, "Hey bro" how I loved it when he called me 'bro" "Go for it, you have needs." I could almost here his voice in my ear.
Ryan pulled me closer, I felt he could sense I was hurting, or uncomfortable.
Maybe he just wanted me closer. I looked at him and smiled. He kissed me. We laid in the bed for a few more minutes, it was only 6:00 am, we had time before he had to get me to school. I told him how good he made me feel, and how happy I was to have him in my life. He apologized for all the games, and said "I loved you before I met you" just like the Savage Garden song. I couldn't bring myself to say I loved him, I just couldn't. It was still to soon. I could let him have my body, and have sex, but I couldn't just throw those words around. Truth be known I didn't know if I did love him.
We got up about 6:15, Ryan said, "You want to shower together, or separately?" I thought about it, and said "Probably we should shower separately, it would be quicker, because if I get in the shower with you, I might not get out." Ryan laughed, "Your already tired of me." As he showed me where the towels were, he let me go first. "Can I at least wash your back?" Ryan asked as I went into his private bath, which was also done in green. I had to ask. "Ryan is green your favorite color?" he looked at me and started to chuckle, "Hell no, my favorite color is blue. My Mom did the decorating." My Gramps always said to me, "When your in business, never tell the truth when they back you in a corner, change the subject." That's what I did, I changed the subject, as I entered the bathroom, and closed the door.
The water felt so refreshing as I showered. I felt dirty though, because I couldn't brush my teeth. I didn't bring a tooth brush. I didn't expect to spend the night. Oh shit, I never called home and told anyone where I was. A fear began to take me. I would be a punching bag for "What's his name" tonight. I began to tremble, and I cried in the shower. I cried for JT, and I cried for myself.
All of sudden, Ryan was in the shower with me. "My love, you were taking so long, I have to shower too. What's wrong, why the tears?" He put his strong arms around me, oh those eye. I melt every time I look at him. I broke down, I told him about JT, I told him about my father. I cried in his arms, he just held me. I was having an effect on him, he was very aroused. He just held me in his arms, my feelings were more important than his desire. He let me know that by just holding me. I became aroused. "Oh now you want it." Ryan said, "We don't have time. Can we take a rain check?" I laughed, "Sure."
On the ride back to Enfield, Ryan was beaming from ear to ear. He talked about hockey, he talked about his college plans, of going to Hawaii. Hawaii, its so far away. I listened, to half of what he said. My thoughts were somewhere else. They were with JT, and my grams.
We got to Enfield High at 7:00, Ryan dropped me off at our spot, the inner circle had its own spot, right under the main entrance overhang. Let anyone try to kick us out. He kissed me as I got out of the car, right there in front of the world. It seemed so normal, I didn't even think about it. I kissed him back.
As I got out of the car Tricia, my conscience was watching me with that grin of hers, and her baby blues were smiling too. If Irish eyes can smile, her's do. If there is anyone I like to greet me Monday morning its Tricia. Her long dark brown hair frames her face, she is so pretty. She has a toughness, probably from being surrounded by brothers, she has one sister and three brothers. "Justin, how are you this morning?" Tricia says as she winks at me. I am embarrassed. "Look at you get all red in the face." She continues, her dialog. I know its coming, like a freight train down the tracks out behind the school. "New friend?" She quips. Ouch, that hurt. There it was right on time. "Yes, um, no, I mean ... oh damn you." I am so flustered, I can't even talk. "I've known Ryan for a few months, I spent the night at his house last night." I blurted out. "Oh?" Tricia says, there's those smiling eyes again. "I'm all ears, do tell," she says.
I begin to tell her about how I met Ryan at the skating rink, practicing skating. How I went to his hockey game in Springfield. How he teased me for months, and how he showed up last night at my door step. By this time Shelly was with us and all ears. Pammy and Nancy came up right behind Shelly. One thing about us we all love good gossip, especially when its about one of us, and its true. We support each other, we love each other. We have shared everything with each other since grammar school. When I was done with my tale, Shelly gave me a big hug, she looked at me and kissed me. I knew she still had feelings for me, but knew there was no hope. Even though it hurt her, she accepted it.
Half way through the day I realize I don't have my car. Man I hate to take the frieking bus. "Justin Case please report to the main office, Justin Case the main office." Booms from the public address. I go to the office. Mrs. Sjoka, one of the nicest people in the world, is the head secretary. She knows me on sight, almost everyone knows me. "Justin I have a message from your Uncle Ryan, he'll be picking you up after school, he said to meet him in front where he dropped you this morning." She explains. "Thank you Mrs. Sjoka."
The rest of the day was typical, except at lunch a bunch of walked down to the Connecticut River, and smoked a couple blunts. Come to think of it was typical. Only I usually never smoked pot during the week. Must be "What's his name" rubbing off, like his drinking, never during the week. I needed to think about that sometime. Just not today.
Ryan was there to pick me up right on time. We rode to my house. No one would be home when I got there. Sarah Jane was on her honeymoon, Moms was working and so was "What's his name" Hehe, I was horny the whole ride home. Ryan was a hunk. That blonde hair, that he had highlighted, those brown eyes, and that smile. As we drove to my house, I reached for his hand. My cock was aching for release. Ryan held my hand, and looked over at my groin and said, "Somebody is awake." Then he laughed, and asked "Do I get that rain check today?" Oh he was adorable, and I laughed with him and let go of his hand and rubbed his cock. He was awake too. "Yeah but you better hurry, before I blow my load in my pants." I said.
We pulled up in front of my house and raced to the back door. We were both eager to get to my bed room. My bedroom is cool. I have magazine tear outs of Seth Green, Freddie Prince, Jr., Ryan Philippe, N*SYNC, Rich Cronin, and Barry Watson. I have a huge poster of 98 degrees with all the boys in their boxers. Shelly gave me for Christmas, see what I mean about accepting. My walls are painted in a soft baby blue, and my double bed has navy sheets, and a navy and red quilt, that matches the drapes, I have a huge closet. There are glow in the dark stars painted on my ceiling, which I painted midnight blue. The furniture didn't match it came as hand me downs as others died or replaced their own furniture.
Ryan loved my room, it was his favorite color. We closed the door, behind us. He reached for me, and slowly undressed me. I loved the feeling of his hands taking my clothes off. He was so observant of what he was doing. He took his time. When he had me naked, he just looked at me, like he was memorizing every inch of my youthful body. I undressed him in the same manner. He was exquisite. He had such a masculine anatomy. Chiseled, doesn't even come close to describe his body. Every muscle, every fiber defined. That chest, man that smooth tanned chest. All I could do was sigh as I looked at him all aroused in my bedroom.
We reached for each other and began to kiss, little kisses, first on the lips, then we started moving our mouths to each others ears, and necks. I held him so tightly against my body. He held me close to him. We moved to the bed. He laid down first, he pulled me on top of him. We kissed deeper, and more passionate. I was on fire. My dick was super sensitive, and felt like if I moved just right, or wrong, I would come. I didn't want to come yet. I wanted to have sometime with this boy. I wanted to be in his arms feeling desire, and him desiring me.
We began pumping against each other, "Oh stop, wait a minute." I whisper to Ryan. He stops his grinding motions. He runs his hands down my back. "MMMMM,mmm yessss." I moan. This feels so right, so comfortable. I feel wanted, and desired. I escape my bad place, and rush to this place. I want to be in this place, with Ryan. Ryan, whispers up to me, "I want you Justin, I want to be one with you." I kiss him and we use our tongues to taste the desire in our mouths. I keep a bottle of hand lotion on the table next to my bed. Usually its for my hands. Not today, not this Monday in May. I put some into my hand and rub it on my dick, and then I insert my middle finger into Ryan. I play with him while we're kissing again. I have one hand on his prick, and one had working on his ass. His cock is bright red, and if it got any harder, I swear to God it would burst. I was excited just looking at his dick.
Ryan whispered to me again, "Now Justin, please, now." I took my dick in my right hand, and placed the head of it at his waiting hole. I pushed just the head into him. He hissed, and then he moaned. I reached under his knees and brought his legs over my shoulders. I eased my aching member into him. I felt myself buried into his hot ass. I felt my balls slap against him. I looked into his eyes, pure passion. They didn't have that puppy dog look, now, just passion. I began to pump in and out of him, and he was meeting my movements. He got a little carried away, and I came out. I had to use my hand to guide my pole back into his waiting orifice. We were there, I came first, burst after bust of my jiz filled him. I grabbed his cock and still had hand lotion on it, and rubbed his cock. I took my right hand, and started at the base of his cock, and ran my hand up his cock, and as I got to the top I would tighten my hand so it felt like he was fucking my hand. As I pulled my hand off the top I tightened the grip, so he would feel the sensations, like I was. Then I would start at the top and reverse the process, it only to four pumps like this, and Ryan's come was shooting all over my stomach, and hairless chest.
Just then I heard Jeremy and Jonathan come bolting in the back door. My two half brothers had returned. We had to hurry, no post sex cuddling. DAMN.
"Justin, Justin" I heard Jeremy, the older one say. Jeremy was ten. He was tall for his age, and lanky. He had blue eyes like his father, and blonde hair. He was a great kid. Shit I hope he doesn't barge in looking for me. The panic. How can something that feels so right be wrong? "Just a minute, I'm getting dressed. I'll be right out." I kissed Ryan, "Thank you, Ryan." I said to him and we got out of the bed. "Thank you," he replied. We dressed, said our good-byes, and he left for Longmeadow.
I went outside with Jeremy and Jonathan, and played some hoop. We have a great driveway hoop. Ten feet off the ground. Great backboard too. Even though they were younger than me they gave me a good game for my money, we played Horse. As screwed up as our home life was, I tried to get along with my half brothers.
Moms came home a little while later. She never said a word about last night.
"What's his name worked second shift, so I wouldn't see him until the weekend, unless he came into my room at night to give me the beating. Ever wake up to a beating? When I was younger I would suck my thumb at night, I didn't know it. I was sleeping. I remember, I was probably about 11, kind of old to be sucking my thumb. I didn't want to do it, but when I slept my thumb found its way into my mouth. He would come in and take my thumb out of my mouth, I didn't wake until he had bent it back where it would touch my wrist. It would hurt for days after. It didn't stop me from doing it, eventually I grew out of it on my own.
After supper, Monday's was leftover night. We always had a big Sunday dinner, and left overs on Mondays. I was happy we had all the food left over from the wedding. Good leftovers at least. The three of us watched television after until bed time. Jeremy and Jonnie went to bed at 8:00. I went to bed early that Monday night. I went at 10:00.
It was a restless sleep, and "What's his name" didn't come in.
Well readers that's it. Until we meet again. Feel free to e-mail me with your comments. Justin69SK@aol.com Most of this chapter was fiction. We did have left overs every Monday, I really did suck my thumb, and "What's his name" really would bend it backwards like that. Oh and Tricia, Shelly and I frequently walk down to the Connecticut River and smoke pot. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it.
I'll keep you posted on my friend Rich