- Number 5! I am happy. I honestly never expected it to go this far. Thanks to all of you that e- mail me still. I really am so excited I still get mail, and people enjoy this story. You have no idea how good a feeling it is. Also, thanks to Phoenix for his comments and great ideas for this next segment. I'm grateful man. Thanks for the motivation. And thanks to Pat, you have been a great friend and I will always be here for ya. You have been a good inspiration, and you know I love you. I'm always here for ya. Also, as you might know, JJ Vascardi recently just left to Europe to visit family. I think we all need to hope they have a safe and fun journey. Well, as for the usual, this is all fake. I am not trying to imply the homosexuality of any celebrity mentioned. To my knowledge, they are all straight. Also, thanks to Nifty for putting these stories up. I really appreciate having a place to share my writing abilities. (If you can even call them that. lol) Now, on with the show.
Justin's Love Part 5
Roaming. There I was in the middle of a street roaming. I felt so alone. There must have been a thousand people in my sight range and I felt alone. How ironic. Then I was overwhelmed with happiness. "JUSTIN! JUSTIN!" I yelled as I saw him sitting at a table at a cafe with the rest of NSYNC. He didn't answer. I guess he couldn't hear me. The street was crowed and loud. I knew he must have not heard me. I started to walk closer to the cafe still yelling his name. After about five minutes of weaving in and out of people, I thought I would surly be close enough for Justin to hear my cries, but still no response. He sat next to JC on one side of the table while the other guys sat across from them. Justin had his arm on the table and JC's hand was placed gently over Justin's arm, right above his wrist. JC and Justin were laughing as Lance, Chris, and Joey carried on their own conversation. A sudden rush of anger came coursing through my body. Seeing Justin and JC this close made my blood boil. That's when I picked up my pace and was running to them before I knew it. It was weird, because the faster I ran the father off the seemed. I was too busy watching JC to notice this though. I didn't want him to steal Justin away now that I had found him. After agonizing over JC and Justin for what seemed like eternity, I finally came near the table. I stood there, right in front of Justin and JC with my hands on the table. No one had even looked up. I was confused, but it was clouded by my anger. "Excuse me." I said rather politely. Still no indication of my presence. I was growing annoyed. It had already taken my some much to reach them, and now they were all ignoring me. Had I done something wrong? Nothing came to mind. I couldn't remember the past couple of days. So, quite literally... nothing came to mind. As I saw JC's hand brush Justin's my anger overtook me. I could stop myself from doing or saying whatever came to mind.
"What the hell is going on!" I asked very loudly. I finally got a reaction. They all turned to me and stared at me puzzled. "What are you doing here?" Justin asked rather coldly. "I came to see... I came to see you." I said not knowing if everything I thought had happened, indeed happened. I thought I remembered me and Justin falling in love, and having this one perfect moment where we both dropped all are inhibitions and had this one kiss. That kiss that lights up your life, that everyone wants for and wants. Was I wrong? "Well, you see me. Now, you don't." He said getting up. He started to leave, but turned back around. As I saw this, I started to walk towards him. He was coming back to me. I knew it. His hand reached out and so did mine. As soon as I almost grabbed it, Justin's hand moved and found JC's. JC got up and followed right behind Justin. They walked down the row of tables and turned the corner. I started to follow them, but found a hand holding me back. "What the..." I said turning around to see what was holding me back. It was Lance. "Chris, stop." I started to cry. I thought he was supposed to be helping me. "But why? What happened? Me and Justin were... we were..." I asked not knowing what had just happened. I was confused. I thought he was in love, I thought I was in love. "You were nothing. Justin made his choice. I am sorry. You just need to accept it." I burst into tears and fell on my knees. I had never been so hurt in my life. "It was really in poor taste for you to show up here. I mean, Justin told you he didn't care for you anymore. Get a clue. Go home. When you came after him the first time, it was cute, and romantic. Now, it's just pathetic." Lance walked back over to his table, got Chris and Joey and walked in the direction that Justin and JC had gone. As they passed me, they stopped briefly and I heard them snicker. I broke down. That was putting it nicely. Really, I wigged out. I couldn't stop. As they turned the corner I fell on my back and just couldn't stop shaking. This was all too much for me to take in. I thought I had done so good, I thought I had fixed everything. Me and Justin were together. At least we had been the last time I checked. And maybe we still were. That thought came as I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder. I knew it was Justin. He came back for me. This time it had to be true, JC was not with me. He wasn't coming back for him. I gradually was able to calm myself down enough to sit up and look him in the eye. "I knew you wouldn't leave me. I love you so much." I said hugging him. His arms came around me and everything felt right. "I just came back to tell you..." I waited. I waited for those words I needed to hear right now. "To tell you, stay away. I don't want you coming back anymore." He got up and started walking again. I love you was all I was looking for. Nothing like this. I had fucked up major. Everything I had wanted for so long, everything I thought I had, was all falling down. I started to fall back to where I had been only moments ago and then it hit me. When I say it hit me, I am not referring to and idea or thought as most use it. Something had actually hit me. And whatever it was, it continued. I shook my head and the cafe disappeared. It almost seemed as if it were raining, and as each drop fell, it took a part of the setting away. The cafe, the people, the sounds, it was all becoming obscure. And I don't know which was worst, the fact that this seemingly real world was fading away, or it was being replaced by darkness.
My eyes flew open, and I saw my room. It was darker than you'd think, but I could tell it was home. Then it hit me again. I started to get angry before I heard someone speaking. No, someone is not the right word. It was like an angel speaking. That voice was so familiar and I had grown to know it by heart. "Chris, are you OK? You were tossing and crying in your sleep. What happened?" I sat up next to Justin who had placed his arms around me. " I... I am sorry. I don't..." Justin was quick to comfort me. "Don't apologize. I was just worried. You woke me up and I heard you in tears. Then you screamed my name. What was it?" I had begun to calm myself and was trying to think of what to say. "You were there. You were there in the cafe and you... you were with him. And you left me. You walked away, but then you came back, and then you left again. You were gone. And they all laughed, and everyone... everyone left. I was there..." I trailed off and the tears came back. Justin was confused to say the least, but held me none the less. He held my head to his chest and let me cry. It was about 15 minutes before I calmed down enough for him to speak. "Listen, I don't understand what you saw in that dream, and I won't ask. But I do know that I left you in that dream. And I do know I was with someone else in this dream." I hoped he was getting to a good point because all he was saying was not making me feel any better. "And last, but not least, I do know it was just a dream. Because I have just found you, and I won't let you go. I won't walk away, and there is not anything or anyone that could replace you. And that's what I do know." My hopes were right. He had gotten to a good point. He swayed back and forth until we collapsed back on the bed. I looked at the clock and it read 1:47AM. I knew he needed sleep, as did I. "Justin, thank you." Even though it was dark, I could tell by his movements that his head had dropped down to look at me on his chest. "Thank you for what?" He sounded as if he were about to drift off to sleep. "Just thank you." I smiled and I could tell he did too. There was just something between us that told me what he did, what he thought. It was great. And no more. No more would I let a dream ever make me feel different. After that we both had no trouble sleeping.
It was too early. Even after I had gone to bed so early, and I hadn't been up more than half an hour when I had the dream, it was still too early. I looked over and saw Justin sleeping. He was so cute, and innocent. I knew why I had fallen in love with him. It wasn't hard to guess. I brought my hand up and ran it along his face going down to his chest. I loved to feel his skin. It was soft and angelic. This was still weird though. This was my first time ever waking up to anyone. Guy or girl, this was new to me. I was comfortable being there with hi of course, it was just difficult to understand what had happened between us. I don't know where we had really crossed that line from friendship to love and right now, I didn't care. It had happened and that was all I needed. I was tempted to get up and go. I wasn't sure how it would feel having him wake up next to me, but I stayed. I told him that I would never leave him again and I meant it. As I shuffled back into bed and placed my arms around Justin, he started to stir. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I said as I took my hands from around him. He quickly awoke and turned to face me. Before he ever said anything, he grabbed my hands and placed them back around him. I couldn't help but smile. "Now that is better. It's OK. I would rather be with you in real life, than in just my dreams." I smiled again. He sure knew the right things to say. We pulled the covers father up over us and just lay there. We weren't going back to sleep, but we weren't ready to get up either. "So, I take it you slept well if I was in your dreams?" I asked as he smiled. "Of course, did you do OK since the dream?" I shuddered at the thought. That dream still had an affect on me. I knew it would be nothing more than a dream, but still, it was scary. "Yep, haven't thought about it since." I really didn't want Justin knowing that I was scared. He would bother me forever about it. That's one of the things I loved about him I guess. So, we talked. We had sat there, well laid there, in that bed and talked for almost three ours before I finally had to stretch. "Well, I am going to take a shower. I be back in a couple of minutes." I said while grabbing some clothes and towels. I turned to Justin pouting. "Don't give me the face. Anything but the sad, puppy dog look. I can't handle it." I dropped all my things and walked over to the bed. "Listen, I will be right down the hall. You can use the guest bath all the way down or you can go fix some breakfast. I have plenty of cereal you know." I said as we both smiled. I think he was a little disappointed that I suggested him use a different bathroom. I was too. But I want this to work. I want us to be us forever. And that wouldn't happen with us humping like rabbits after a couple of hours after we got together. He meant more to me than that. "I guess I'll go use your guest bath. that way, we can eat together." We kissed quickly and got up. It was cute I thought as we headed out the room holding hands. We were defiantly in that, young love, stage. I had heard about it, but now, I felt it.
We had both showered and were in the kitchen within thirty minutes. Well, I was anyway. Justin had gotten done with me, but had to do his hair. I tried to tell him he was cute anyway, but he insisted. Who was I to argue? By the time he had gotten done with his hair, I had setup the table and laid out Apple Jacks and Captain Crunch. I knew it was his favorite. We had had a two hour conversation about cereal once. It might seem sad, but we had fun. "Awww, all this for me? You are just too good." He said as he walked towards me. "Well, I try." I said smiling. As I turned to go sit I found Justin inches from me. "But... what if what I want for breakfast isn't on the table?" He asked exotically. I just smiled at his attempt to be sexy. I shouldn't call it an attempt, really, because it was working. "Well, I might just have to make something else available won't I?" I said as he leaned closer. "Yes, Yes you will." He almost whispered this before I found our lips dancing once again. We had already used up our two most important kisses, but his lips still felt new to me. It was great. I slowly started to slip my tongue in his mouth, only to find his tongue heading straight for me. I was not going to object as my mouth became open for anything coming. We must have stood there, kissing, exploring each others mouths, for almost ten minutes before we both stopped and took in a big breath of air. "Well, I'm full. That was the best breakfast I have had in a long time." Justin said sitting. "In a long time? When did you ever have better?" I asked only half joking. "Well, you have to remember the first time I had cereal. That was monumental." We both started laughing. "You know..." I stopped as he started shaking his head no. I smiled and continued. "Your right, probably not." I said not finishing what I was saying. We both smiled and he jumped up and ran to me. "You were very good..." He said licking his lips. "But I am kinda hungry. Come join me. We can share a bowl of Apple Jacks." He took my hand and lead me to the table. "Justin Timberlake, share a bowl of cereal. I am shocked." He looked at me and finally caught in. "Don't feel shocked, feel special. I only share with people I love." We both sat down and ate. We continued to talk and occasionally kiss, but we had fun. When we finished we went into the den and flipped on the TV.
"So, what are we doing today?" I asked Justin as he flipped off the TV. "Well, there is nothing on TV. Count that as a no. Actually, I was thinking, seeing how this is our first whole day together as a couple, maybe we could just hang around here. I mean, We still have 13 days together to do stuff. Today can just be our day." He said getting up and walking over to the couch I was sitting on. He laid down, with his head in my lap, and his feet dangling off the side. "For once Justin, you have a good idea. You are just full of surprises today huh?" I asked as we both smiled. And so started another of our famed talks. I am not sure when, but sometime during the talk, I had begun to play with Justin's hair. This was nothing new, I had done it every time we had met. Even before we got together, I had played with his hair. He had always enjoyed, but now we were together he really showed it. It was about 8:30PM before I noticed the large bulge in his pants. "Well, I do believe your hair is a very sensitive spot for my man." I said looking down to his shorts. He started to blush as he realized what had happened. "Sorry, I didn't..." I quickly stopped him. "You really think I care." I said beaming. "You know, the sex thing does need to wait, we agree right?" Justin nodded as he agreed. He almost looked sad. I knew what would make him smile though. "But nobody rushed foreplay. that is always there." I knew I had this devious grin on my face. He brightened up and before either of us knew it, we were kissing more passionately then ever. This kiss had more heat in it then ever. And I loved every minute of it. I could no longer control myself as I found myself practically ripping Justin's shirt off. As I started pulling it off, he pulled back. I looked up with confusion. "Too fast?" I asked as I regretted what I had done. Soon I knew I didn't need to regret it tough. "No. That is not it. I just think we should move this little... adventure to your room. I would hate to think, even foreplay, be done here in a den." I smiled as I totally agreed. We got up and managed to get half-way up the stairs before we were clawing at each other once again. What usually takes less than minute from the den to my room, took us almost twenty minutes.
Luckily, my bed is not far into my room, because as soon as we entered the doorway we dropped. Our hands were roaming each other's faces, as our tongues were roaming each other's mouths. This had to have been, the most intense pleasure I had ever had. This was heaven. I had finally gotten Justin's shirt off and my lips were aching for more. I had begun my way down while his hands were still struggling with my shirt. I would have helped him out but I was too wrapped up in what I was doing to notice anything. My hands were roaming all of over Justin's chest while my lips were stuck around his neck. It was a good thing they had a two week break, because before I knew it, I had given Justin a little surprise on his neck. Well, not really little. It was a big hickey. I would hate for him to have to explain that. As Justin finally had my shirt ready to take off, my hands left his chest and went out to get the shirt off. His chest was no bare for long as me lips took over. I couldn't get enough of him. The taste of him was bringing me to pure ecstasy. I slowly licked my way up and down his chest stopping at his abs more than once. As soon as I came to his nipples I went to work. I sucked each one slowly, hearing moans of pleasure from Justin that made me work even harder to please him. I went back and forth between them before I finally went to work on one at a time. I swirled my tongue around each nipple and bite down lightly to add more pleasure. His moans were not the only way I knew Justin was having fun, his bulge had turned into a full blown tower and poked me every time he bucked his hips slightly. After about half and hour I moved back to his lips. I had to. Had I not, I would have kept going down a lot further. And I knew we had to wait.
As soon as I found myself on Justin's lips, it was his turn. After one kiss, he was gone. He was on my chest and licking me up and down before I knew it. We had switched sides, where I now was on the bottom. Justin was taking me to new heights as I felt his lips on my nipples and his hands roaming everywhere but. I must say that this was amazing. I could describe it. I am surprised I could comprehend any of it. So much pleasure and passion was going through my head, that I was so intensified I couldn't move. Then it happened. I felt Justin's arms start rubbing my cock. I knew it wasn't on purpose. His hands were roaming all over my chest. His elbows just slipped. The thing was, I didn't mind. He could have done anything to me right then, and I would have done whatever needed to make it easier. Luckily, I think he knew things were getting hot because he was soon up on my lips once again. I could no longer restrain myself. I found my hands struggling to unbutton Justin's cargo shorts and get my hand on the object of my desire. As soon as I grabbed it though, he backed off. We both smiled. "Well, aren't we enjoying ourselves." He said laughing. "We were. Why aren't we now?" I said trying to get back to where we had just left off. He just smiled. "Because you were right. We need to wait. I am not going anywhere. And neither are you." I nodded in agreement as he lay back on me. He looked over at the clock and rolled off beside me. "It's going on 11:00. We should get some sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day." I looked at him blankly. "I just mean, we are going to go out tomorrow. And I know whatever I find... will be tiring." He said as he gave me on last kiss. "Good night sweets." He looked at me oddly. "What?" I couldn't understand what I had done. "Nothing bad. I just liked you calling me that. No one has ever called me that. I like it." I smiled as I rolled over. I was pretty tired. Only seconds after I had rolled over, I found Justin's arms closing tight around me and pulling me close. "Good night sweets." I said one last time before we drifted off to sleep.
Meanwhile... earlier that day at Lance's house.
"Hey JC. I know you love to sleep, but I really think it is time to get up." Lance said already showered and dressed. JC angrily stood up and tried to open his eyes. JC had decided to crash with Lance till all the guys met up next week. "What time is it?" JC said calming down. He was not a morning person. "It is almost 11:00. You went to bed at 9:00 last night. You need more?" Lance asked putting away JC's stuff in their drawers. JC stayed with Lance quite often so he had taken over one of the two guest rooms Lance had. "No. I guess not. Hey, I'll put that away. It's cool Scoop." JC said walking towards Lance. "I'll get it. Go get a shower and we will go out for lunch or something. "OK. Thanks Scoop." He patted Lance on the back and went to the bathroom. While JC took a shower, Lance continued to put his things away. Then, as Lance put away JC's hair products and such, he found a piece of paper. It was folded plenty of times, but had Lance's name unmistakably on it. Lance knew he shouldn't, but felt the urge to read it. It did have his name on it. It started:
Lance,
If you are reading this, I guess I have left. Sorry, to ditch you and the guys, but it got to hard. You see, I have been keeping something from you. From all the guys, but mostly you. I am gay. Even on paper that was hard to write. That was hidden from everyone. What was hidden from you, is I love you. Not as a friend like Justin, or a bro like Joey, or even a punching mate like Chris, I am in love with you. You mean more to me than anything. It took me a long time to understand all this, but I know now, more than ever, I love you. I know you don't feel the same. That, in part, is why I left. I don't know if I will be coming back. As I think of you reading this letter, I can honestly say, probably not. Like I said, it just got to hard. Please don't waste your time looking for me. It won't help. If by some remote chance you found me, it would be harder than ever. Please tell the guys I am sorry. Sorry to leave you and them and the best thing that has ever happened to me. But I had to decide... keep the best thing I had, and feel the worst pain I would ever have, or just not deal with it anymore. I know it was the easy way out, but I left. I just couldn't handle everything. Too much reality for me. How ironic. I am the first one to crack of the group. Who'd of thought huh? lol Well, I guess I have said enough for you to hate me so that's it. I am sorry, and I love you. So much. Take care.
Love Always and Forever, Josh
Lance had already begun crying. He couldn't believe JC had thoughts about leaving or that he cared so much for him. JC had told Lance he cared for him, but never anything like this. He was so shocked and surprised. He cared for JC deeply. He loved JC very much, but not like that. Lance wasn't gay. Well, he wasn't straight either. He had never had feelings for anyone. Guy, girl, nothing. But after reading this letter he didn't know how he felt about anything. His thoughts were interrupted by JC clearing his throat. "I am sorry you read that. I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away. Don't worry, I am not leaving. I was just scared." JC could only see one side of Lance, so he did not see the tears until Lance turned to face him. JC as about to ask about the tears before he saw Lance coming straight for him. Lance stopped inches away and looked JC right in the eyes. "Why? Why didn't you tell me all this? I know you were scared and it was hard, but I would have always been there for you. And after you confessed about yourself, why... why didn't you tell me how you felt about me? Don't you think I deserved to know?" Lance asked still crying. He was so confused. "I... I..." JC was so confused about what to say. He couldn't handle this either. He grabbed a bag still not unpacked and grabbed his keys. "Listen, I have to go. I'll be back later. I just... I need to think." JC turned around and ran down the stairs. Lance tried to move to stop him, but he couldn't. He yelled no, but it was too late. Lance put the letter down and went to his room. He sat on the bed and started to cry once again. He didn't know how he felt any longer.
JC had managed to slip on some clothes and drive off quickly before Lance had tried to stop him. He needed to think. He decided he couldn't stay gone for long, and him and Lance needed to talk before they met the guys. He would come back tomorrow and they would talk. They each had to sort all this out. Yeah, tomorrow. Things would be different tomorrow.
TBC
Well, I hope you all like this part and the rest. Send all comments to mlnscrm@aol.com. Thanks.