*Well, here is long awaited part two. LOL Anyway, thanks to all of you who e-mailed me. I got a great response to the first story. It was unbelievable. Thank you so much. I had know idea that so many people read Nifty or thought my writing was good. I am grateful to all of you for you very kind and diluted words. They all mean a lot. Keep sending good or bad to mlnscrm@aol.com. Thanks! I know that the first segment was really short and I am sorry. I plan to make them all a decent length. They will get longer so not to worry. As for the usual, thanks to Nifty for putting these stories up. Really appreciate it! These stories are not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of any members of NSYNC or any other celebs mentioned. And, last, but not least, you know the legal stuff. Don't read this if you are not supposed to by law in your city/state, etc. Well, on with the story!
Justin's Love Part 2
There we were. Driving. We had been for about 30 minutes. Don't worry, we hadn't gone far. The traffic was bad! It was around 5:45AM when the guys had gotten done signing all those CD's for their fans. They loved the fans, so it didn't bother them too much. They had all slept on the plane ride over so even at 6AM Justin was wide awake. (Ironic seeing as how Justin was always talked about, and had even told me that he was NOT a morning person). We hadn't talked much since we had left Virgin Records half an hour ago. We made chit chat of course, but my mind was racing. I had met him! You would think the hard part was over. Of course it wasn't. Had I disappointed him? I knew I hadn't by the way he was acting, but that was my insecurities creeping in. And there was always the question, 'Where are we going?' As we passed the sign 'Interstate 4 1 mile ahead' I decided to ask. "So, Justin, since you were in such a rush to leave, and you seemed to be speeding off now, I'm gonna have to ask..." He had turned his head and had a look of 'What is he gonna say' on his face. I knew this face. I had had it since me and Justin met two hours ago. "Where are we going?" I finished. He almost looked relieved. "Home." He put it quite simply. He saw the look of confusion on my face and quickly explained.
"My home. I have to go put all my bags away...," He said pointing to his luggage in the back. "And get changed, then I was thinking we could grab so breakfast, and I dunno, hang out." He said this as if he was asking rather than telling. "Sounds like a plan to me!" I said smiling. After about 5 minutes, I had to ask what I had been thinking for awhile. "So, when you guys finished signing, what was the hurry to get out of there?" Justin had practically grabbed me and pulled me out to his car when it was over. It was like he didn't want me to meet the other guys, and he sure didn't want to talk to them himself. "Nothing. I just wanted to get out of the way of fans or anything." He stammered out. I nodded at him. I wasn't buying it, but I had just met him. Well, face to face anyway. I wouldn't push him. It wasn't that important. I was with him. That was all that mattered. They only thing I had to do now were to keep my feelings in check. I had decided before I got my wristband and all that I was falling in love for Justin, or I was at least developing strong feelings for him. He didn't know I was gay and wouldn't find out. So, I couldn't tell him how I felt. That was what I had to be careful of. My feelings. We started to slow down as we pulled up to a fairly large house in a wonderful neighbor hood. "Must be nice." I said under my breath. My parents might have been well to do, but we weren't rich or close to it. We were more on a really comfortable living kinda tax bracket. Anyway, as soon as he had the car off, Justin was piling bags on his shoulders to get in the house. I just stood there laughing at him as he tried to balance himself and his luggage and try to shut the side door. It was a riot!
"I am so happy you are having a good. I always try." Justin said very sarcastically. "Well, I must commend you on your efforts. I'm having a ball." I said as a walked over and grabbed some of his bags. He smiled at me, which made me melt, and I followed him to the front door. "Welcome to my humble abode." He said welcoming me in. "Justin Timberlake, humble, what is wrong with this picture?" I had already starting making fun of him. I hate to say it, but that was how I treated all my friends. We all laughed at the jokes and in the end, we were close as we had always been, but I hated myself everytime I let an insult/joke slip. It was a defense that I couldn't let down. I would force myself with Justin though. I had that decided. "So where in this little abode are we taking this stuff?" He just made his way upstairs. 'I guess this way' I thought as I followed him. "So, where are we going?" I asked when we reached the top of the stairs. Justin was still just walking. I ran up in front of him and stopped. He looked at me and shook his head. "What?" He asked with this 'I'm a lost little boy, you can't be mad' face that I couldn't help smile at. "Where have you been? I do talk to myself often, just not in front of others." Now that was true. More so, before I met Justin. Before him, I was my best friend. I had a lot of friends, sure, but I was the only one who really understood what I was going through or how I felt. So it was more meaningful for me to carry conversation with me than anyone else.
"Sorry, I was just thinking. Had a lot on my mind lately." His happiness turned to solemnest as he said that. Before I had time to say anything, the same bright, loving Justin I had always talked to came back as he burst open the door to his room. "Justin set them anywhere." He pushed his way past me and threw his luggage on the bed. "Great room!" Was all I got out. " As they say, me casa es su casa." Justin's Spanish accent was terrible. It was a great room. The room it self was impressive with just the size of it, but it was filled with a big wooden entertainment center with a massive TV and stereo along with the other components. I knew then, that I would be following my dreams to go in to the entertainment business. We got all the bags on his bed and had gone back down stairs to the kitchen. "So, are you hungry?" He was already looking through refrigerator and pulling stuff out. "Well, you're in luck. I am starving." I said smiling. "I can't imagine why though. I almost feel like I was up for almost 48 hours first, waiting in a long ass line to buy a CD I already have, and two, to stand in an even longer long ass line just to surprise my best friend." I said smiling. "Well, if you just would have taken the tickets I offered, no of it would have happened." He was right, of course. But hey, nobody can be wrong all the time. I surprised when Justin set a plate of French toast in front of me and then sat in a chair right across. I must have been so wrapped up in the conversation to notice Justin was cooking. "WOW! This looks great. I didn't know you cook. I'm impressed." I was impressed. We both chatted as we had done so many times before. Even after we had finished we just move onto the living room, in front of the TV and talked. It felt great to be there and have a real conversation with someone. It wasn't until 5PM that I even glanced at my watch. "OH MY GOSH! It is 5. We are going to have to stop these talks. They always end us up 6 or 7 hours from where we started." I said standing up and laughing. "Whoa, where are you going?" Justin said catching up to me while I got my coat. "Oh, I dunno. I thought, just as a wacky idea, I might go home. I tend to end up there at the end of most days. Just call me old fashioned." I might have sounded like I was leaving, but I was screaming at Justin inside to find excuse to stay. I hated the thought of leaving. "It's late. Why don't you just stay here? I mean, we have the room." He said as he threw his arms up and twisted around. "You wear about the same size clothes so, you can borrow anything. That way it doesn't matter if we wind up 6 or 7 hours from where we started." He said in a nervous laugh.
'It was hardly late. I mean it was 5 o'clock' I thought to myself. I would have, and probably should have turned him down the more I thought about it, but Justin was smiling at me and really, who can say no to that smile? Obviously not me, because 30 minutes later I found myself sitting with Justin on his bed, flipping channels on his TV and deep in a conversation about the groups upcoming events. "Well, we have that concert tomorrow night, then we go to Tampa for another one. After that, we come back here and are in the studio for a week before vacation time." He explained the itinerary to the best of his knowledge. "Vacation time?" I was very curious about that! "Anytime we come home to do concerts and stuff, we get two weeks off to spend with our families or just relax. Well, really three weeks. Studio work is never that hard or that long. I'm not complaining though!" He said jokingly.
"So are you staying here for vacation?" I hoped he didn't pick up the disappointment in my voice, but it was I laid it on pretty thick. He must have, because he smiled at me as I turned for the answer. "Maybe if I had someone to keep me busy, you know, hang out with, the occasional talk that leads 5 or 6 hours from where it started, I might." I laughed at this. "Well, I hope that you find someone like that." I said turning around. He leaned forward and grabbed a pillow from behind him and threw it at me. "I meant you, retard!" I was caught of guard as the pillow hit me square in the face as I turned. "I don't think so, because are conversation would never be as short as 5 hours!" I threw the pillow back to Justin who was waiting for it. "Minor details!" After that we started watching some TV. Before I knew it I was asleep. I didn't mean to fall asleep in Justin's bed. I didn't realize how tired I really was.
Justin lay against the headboard of the bed with Chris's head at the bottom. He saw Chris doze off and didn't really mind. This would give him time to think. He needed that. And now, Chris wouldn't get suspicion like when they were on the stairs. He had to sort out how he felt. He was happy of course. He had a great career, good friends, and now a best friend like Chris, but part of him was more depressed than ever. He didn't know why. The only time he was ever truly happy was when him and Chris were just talking. But even then, something in him stirred that made him sad. And to get rid of the sadness he would leave Chris. That would work for like a minute and then he was depressed again. It was just like the song said, it was tearin' up his heart with he was with Chris, but felt in two when they were apart. He quickly dismissed that thought though. Tearin' Up My Heart' was a song for someone in love. That wasn't what he felt. He assumed at least. And he just hated himself for thinking that he could be gay. Ever since he grew up, he was told the rights and wrongs and that was not a right! But his thoughts kept coming back to love. He didn't know what he felt like. He had never been in love. In fact, he tried to get a far away from it as possible. He didn't know why, but love always got him thinking and over analyzing things. He didn't need that. That was probably why he worked so much. I mean, ever since Justin was little he was in the spotlight. He was on Star Search, then ran to the MMC, and then he was a NSYNCer. He didn't get there by doing anything but work. He never really allowed himself to party, or chill out too much, or have any fun. Chris changed that somehow. He let is guard down with Chris, and had fun and allowed himself to be happy. He didn't how he felt towards Chris, but it was beyond friendship. He knew that much. He soon was fast asleep beside Chris. Where he felt like he belonged.
Morning came all too soon for me. Of course, I had fallen asleep at one in the morning and it was now 7, but still. The sunlight came bursting in through Justin's two big bay windows on the east side of the room. Not a very good thing to have if you weren't a morning person, but hey, they were nice. As soon as I had opened my eyes I noticed arms around me. It took me a minute before I remembered that I had fallen asleep in Justin's bed last night and those arms belonged to him. I didn't move. I couldn't. I didn't know which I was more, scared or happy. Happy that the arms around me were that of the man I loved, or scared as to why they were there. I stop thinking about it and just closed my eyes. I knew in my mind that Justin was just asleep and this wouldn't ever happen again. I would enjoy this as long as I could. I carefully snuggled closer to Justin and fell back asleep. I had pleasant dreams of course!
Justin too awoke by the sun rushing in the windows. 'I'll gave to do something about those damn windows one of these days' he thought to himself. Before he ever finished opening his eyes he felt his arms around something warm. His eyes shot open to see Chris's body right up against his. His mind went to racing. How? Why? When? That was all that shot through. After 10 minutes Justin realized something. He had retracted his arms yet. Another why came across his mind. He had to admit, he felt complete lying there with someone in his arms. And thoughts of Chris just made himself. That's why he couldn't believe what he did next.
I was awakened by moving behind me, and then found myself on the floor. Justin had taken his arms back with such speed that he made me roll of the side of the bed and hi the floor with a THUD! I was still in shock when Justin ran over to me to help me up. "Oh My God! I am so sorry Chris. Are you alright?" Justin kept repeating this till I finally stood and was gaining my balance back. "Yeah, Yeah. I'm fine. What the hell happened?" I pretended to laugh but I knew what had happened. I knew that Justin must have awoken to find his arms around me. He must have really been disgusted to just whip them back like that. "I guess I pushed you when I got up. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to." He was a bad lair. And he felt wrong for him to be lying to me. I was hurt that he would. I know he might have been embarrassed, but to lie to your best friend takes a lot. "It is alright. I should probably get going anyway. I shouldn't have even stayed in the first place." I said walking out of the room. I tried my best to sound like I was just playing around, but the hurt or hate or fear or whatever it was in my voice showed through. I knew it and Justin knew it. He was soon running after me. "Whoa. What do you mean you have to go? You are welcome to stay as long as you want." He sounded hurt and so did I, but neither of us would say something about it. We were too stubborn. He would admit what happened in fear that it would mean something, and I wouldn't admit it because it didn't mean anything. "You have rehearsals today, right?" I was happy that he had to go. It was my turn to think. He looked down at the floor. "Yeah. I forgot about that. Then the concert. I won't be back all day. You can still come to the show you know. You would have to stay backstage and all, but you would see the show. Then me and you...." I cut him off.
"Why don't you want me to meet the guys? You never would let me talk to them on-line, you said you haven't said anything about me, at Virgin Records we left like a bat out of hell, and then you are trying to keep me away now. Why couldn't after the concert we all hang out?" Justin was thrown by the question. JC was already down his back about Chris. The other guys had tried to poke around. And the question was a good question. If the roles were reversed, Justin would have felt pushed aside I guess. "Because..." Justin stopped. I moved closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Justin, what is wrong? This is about something more than me, so what is it?" I asked out of concern. He laughed between sobs. "That's just it. It is about you. I dunno why I keep you away from them. It's just... you are my friend. I know it sounds stupid, but it's like I don't want to share you or something." He said this half laughing and half kidding. I was amazed. I couldn't believe that he had said that. I wasn't going to screw up this moment with words. I just hugged him. And that worked. We just held each other and I could sense that we both felt better. I guess being with the one you love can do that to you. It was almost perfect. The almost came about 5 minutes later as a loud doorbell echoed through the house. "Crap! That is probably the guys. We have rehearsals in an hour. We were all gonna ride together." he said not pulling away yet. "Do you want me to..." He pushed away and looked me right in my eyes. "NO! You mean a lot to me. You are my best friend and... You are coming with us." The doorbell rang again followed with a knock. "What!?" I was surprised to say the least. Justin turned and went to answer the door while I stood there on the staircase.
"Hey JC. Where is the rest of the guys?" Justin asked while inviting JC in. "They are on their way, they just..." He cut off as he looked at me. "Sorry Just. I didn't know you had company. Isn't that the guy from yesterday?" JC started to walk towards me. I felt stupid. JC was talking about me like I wasn't even there! Justin must have picked up on this. "He is right there. You can ask him." Justin said with a lot of sarcasm. I had a feeling that JC had a problem with me there. I understood yesterday at the store when he stood up to defend Justin, but now it was just awkward. "Yes, I'm Chris." I said very politely while extending my hand. He took it and answered, "I'm JC." I smiled. "Yes, I know. Justin has told me a lot about you." JC looked at Justin sharply. "All good, I hope." He had the cutest smile. Well, second to Justin's, but hey, no one was that perfect! "It was." I smiled a he walked away. He went to Justin and started talking. Had I said something wrong? I walked over to join them and Justin tried to include me, but JC was determined to keep me out. Maybe he was protective of Justin like he was towards me. Luckily, the doorbell and interrupted our little talk. It was Lance, Chris, and Joey. "Sorry we are late. Traffic was terrible." Lance said. "We really got to get going now if we want to be on time." He continued. "That's Scoop. Always on time. Well, except now." They all laughed. JC turned to me. "Well, I guess we'll be seeing you later Chris." All the guys suddenly noticed my presence. Justin quickly jumped in. "Actually, he is coming with us to rehearsals. Then, I was thinking maybe we could all hang out after the show." Justin was telling this in that 'I'm really asking so please say yes' tone. It was cute to hear him like that. "Oh." Went around the room. JC was certainly taken by this. "Well, let's get going. The limo is outside." JC was about to storm off when Justin said something. "Me and Chris were gonna ride in my car. We'll follow y'all." Justin said grabbing his and my coat. I wish I had known all this. I knew he was just doing this because of what I said so I couldn't argue. It was my doing. All the guys just mumbled and went to the limo. JC looked at us real quick before he got in the limo and it pulled away.
"WOW! What was all that in there? We don't have to do this just because I said something." He turned to me. "I want you to meet them. Like I told you, I care too much about you to have it ruined by my stubbornness." He smiled and we pulled out behind the limo. I could tell that I was not falling in love with Justin anymore. I had done hit the bottom!
"Damn JC. Did you really need to slam the door?" Joey asked laughing. JC just stared out the window. "Hey JC. JC?" Chris said right before punching him in the arm. JC turned to see the guys laughing at him. They started talking and JC just tuned them out. Why was he so upset? He didn't know. Justin was always JC responsibility, but this was more. He felt like he was losing Justin or something. JC had never made a good a friend as Justin. They had clicked the second they met on the MMC. They told each other everything and had fun together. It used to be that JC was the one Justin ran to and vice versa. Now, there was Chris. He didn't really have anything against Chris. He barely knew him. He didn't like what Chris meant. Chris meant that JC was replaced. JC might have been considered to most, the strong one of the group, but he was much more fragile then he seemed. He was a lot like Justin. He didn't take to closeness with just anyone, and love was just as uninvited with him as Justin. He never told anyone that, but he had come to face that fact. Now, he didn't know now. He did know that Justin meant a lot to him, and Chris couldn't be all that bad for Justin to like him so. That meant one thing. JC would have to give him a chance. He had no choice. He decided this just as they pulled into the Arena for practice.
Well, me and Justin had managed to pass the limo and he was already giving me a preconcert on stage as they walked in. "It is about time y'all decided to show up. I was wondering how long I would have to wait for you. Come on. Let's get this over with." Justin was obviously hyper. "Is he always like this before a concert?" I said to myself. Or so I thought. "You mean, happy, cheerful, go lucky. Yeah. I think that's how he deals with his nervousness and anxiety." I turned to see JC smiling. Well this was a change I thought. "It is a better way to deal with it then most." I said as I turned back to the stage. "Yeah, I guess. So, I gotta go, but maybe we can talk after the show." I was happy. Whatever happened to him, I liked it. "Yeah, you bet." He walked past me and hopped on stage. Well, this was great. I would definitely be going to the concert. I had made that pretty clear to myself by then. Not that I would have had a choice. Justin would have made me go because he wanted me to. That was just how he was. Maybe it was part of what I loved about him.
Rehearsals were great. I got to see what went on behind the scenes, so to speak. It was great. I had no idea that concerts and such required so much work. You couldn't watch a rehearsal and not admire the guys for what they did each day. I was impressed. And of course Justin was right. Rehearsals didn't last more than an hour and a half. After they were done I wasn't sure what to do. I felt dumb sitting out in the crowd. Luckily, I saw Lance coming towards me. "Hey Chris. We are backstage. Come on man." He said as he motioned his hand and turned around. I ran up beside him and felt a little uneasy. I didn't know if Lance would be as hard to talk to and all as JC had been. I didn't want that. I mean, JC had come around, at least I thought, but I didn't want to have to wait around for all the members of the group. That would be tough. "So, your Chris right?" I guess I wouldn't wait around after all. "Yeah. Is it alright if I call you Lance, or Mr. Bass, or what?" He just laughed. "Lance is fine. So, how long have you known Justin." So, I told him about the e-mail and then the 4 months of chatting. I had just finished when we reached the guys. "Wow. What a way to meet someone. It's good that you know what your friendship is based on. That is hard to find with us." We had just sat down still talking as JC, Chris, and Joey was talking across from us. "So, where is Justin?" I asked. "Oh, hey Chris. He went to change. He should be right back." JC said. I was happy that we had the chit chat thing down. He seemed really cool. I would have hated the thought of us getting off on the wrong foot. "So, you and Justin have been talking for 4 months, right?" Chris asked. I was surprised. Justin said he hadn't mentioned anything about me. "Um... yeah. We met after I sent an e-mail to him and the group. We have been talking ever since." Joey finally spoke up. He was the only one I hadn't said anything to. "Wow. That's great. We don't really get a lotta friends, so to find one amazes us all." We all laughed. Just then Justin came walking in.
"Why are we all laughing? What did I miss? Are you laughing at me?" We all laughed at Justin. He was so cute when he joked around. His face was so expressive. It was great! "Well, what are we doing Curly? It was your idea for us to all hang out after rehearsal. What are you up for?" Chris asked while getting us all drinks. He threw us some cokes and waited for Justin to answer. "I just thought we could all hang out together. We haven't all sat down and talked since Colorado. And of course, y'all get to spend sometime with Chris. I would like you to get to know him." My face must have turned 8 shades of red. I hated people looking at me or focusing on me and that's all they were doing. They all wanted to see what Justin brought home I guess. I was happy that Justin and I had talked about me meeting with the guys and all, but now I felt stupid and wished I hadn't brought it up. "Well, I guess we owe this little get together Chris, so what do you want to do?" Joey asked looking at me however Chris (the member) turned to answer. "I dunno. I was thinking maybe we could...." He stopped as he realized Joey hadn't been talking to him. We all started laughing. "You'll have to forgive Chris. He is a little self absorbed." JC said still laughing. "Why don't y'all just call me Christopher. It is my real name and actually prefer it. That way nobody gets things messed up." I cleared things up. "And there are five of you and one of me so, I am just along for the ride I guess." This was getting us no where. The guys tell Justin to choose, then I was told to choose, and now it was going back to the guys. "Maybe we should just go back to the hotel and get some dinner and talk." Justin finally suggested. "Just on problem. Justin, you took off so fast you don't have a room at the hotel." Joey pointed out. They guys seemed a little uneasy about Joey mentioning Justin's run off, but Justin quickly changed the subject. "Not a problem. I'll just get some rooms and then we'll all meet up in my room." They all agreed and walked out. I noticed that Justin had mentioned that he would get some rooms. Did he really want me to stay at the hotel with them?
There we were. Us following the limo again. This was getting to be an everyday thing. I didn't know how to bring up the whole room thing. I didn't want Justin to think I was ungrateful or anything, but I felt like I was imposing. "Hey Justin..." Justin cut me off quickly. "So you picked up on the rooms thing?" I nodded yes. "I don't want to impose on you or anything. I mean, all this is worse than if I would have taken that ticket when it was offered." Justin sighed. "I wish you would stop that. You are not imposing. I wish you wouldn't think that. You are a great friend who I want to be with me. Besides, the people you love never impose on you." He stopped himself when he heard himself say that. How could he? What would Chris think? He turned to look at me.
What did he say? Did he just? No, I was hearing things. I turned my head to see Justin looking at me with a worried look. He meant as a friend. I knew it then. If he did love me he wouldn't have been worried or scared. That's what I thought at least. Probably because I didn't know what I would do if he loved me. And more so, I knew it would never happen so why think it. I just casually continued the conversation. "Yeah I know, but still. You don't have to do all this. I can go home. It's alright." I smiled trying to shake this feeling. I hope things weren't this awkward just because of what he said? I understood he meant like a best friend or even a brother. It was no big deal. Justin too felt the awkwardness. Did Chris not pick up on what I said? Thank God! Justin couldn't believe he had said that. Not just because it was foolish to blurt it out like that, but he didn't know he felt that way. Last night he spent an hour trying to figure out how he felt and he couldn't get it. Now, he was sure he was in love. He felt more strongly about this than anything. But now what? What would he do now? Once anything in his life goes well something comes to fuck it up. Never fails. "Nonsense." They sat in silence the rest of the way. Both thinking about what the other was going to do.
I was amazed as I walked in the lobby. It was a glorious hotel on East Colonial Dr. It was beautiful. The guys had rented a whole floor, so no one would bother them, so Justin just had to make a request to get another room on the floor. "Yes. I am Justin Timberlake. I need a two rooms on the 18th floor." He said smiling. The woman behind the counter was older so she had no idea who Justin was. She typed up the 18th floor on her computer. "I am sorry, sir. That whole floor is reserved. May I get you another room?" Justin laughed. "I know that it is reserved for NSYNC. I am the fifth member. I came in late." The old lady looked like she was about to spasm out. "Oh, I am so sorry sir. I didn't know." Justin just calmed her down telling her it was all right. "I am sorry sir. There is only one room left on the floor. The floor is just below the restaurant above so it is smaller. Is that ok? I can have a cot moved up there." Justin looked at me and sighed. "That will be fine." She typed it in and soon we were on our way to our room. That thought ran threw my mind. It was "our" room. How odd was this? Justin thought the same thing. Could he keep his feelings in check? It would be difficult. He barely made it on the ride over here, so a whole night was going to be a lot of trouble.
We walked in and set our luggage down. Justin had packed a bag for me with some of his clothes so I would have something to wear. "So, what now?" I asked as a knock at the door came. "I guess it is dinner with the guys." Justin opened the door and they all piled in. "Hey Curly, I heard about the whole one room thing. Tough Luck. Who gets the cot?" Joey asked teasing Justin as he walked in. "HAHA. You are just so funny." Justin said sarcastically. He picked up the phone and 30 minutes later we were all chowing down. It was great. We all sat and talked. The guys and I were getting along great. I was happy that we all had clicked. Me and Justin, then me and the guys. It was good for me to have friends beside myself. lol Around 6 o' clock we all had finished. "OK guys. We have to meet downstairs at the limo at 6:30 so hurry and get ready." lance said as he was leaving to get ready. Gradually they all piled out and left us alone. "So, you better hurry up." Justin slowly got up. "Yeah probably. Oh, here." He said walking over to the inn table. He gave me a backstage pass and the keys to his car. I was puzzled. "The ticket is for tonight and I have to ride with the guys so..." I got to drive his car! WOW! I was happy then. "You don't have to be there until 7:30 so feel free to take your time getting ready and all. I will c-ya later." Justin went down to the lobby. He had already showered and changed at rehearsals so there was no need to do it again. He left early just because he had to get away from Chris. After what he said he was scared to be around him. He had to get over though. He promised himself he wouldn't screw things up with Chris and he planned on keeping it!
I fell back on the bed in the hotel room. WOW! That was all that came to mind. These past two days have been the best of my life. I finally meet Justin, gain four other friends, get backstage passes to the concert, spent last night in the same bed as Justin and tonight I will at least be in the same room! My life could end and I would be happy. Well, almost happy. I had said that I was so much in love that I would settle for friendship. I was wrong. When I heard, or thought I heard, Justin say that he loved me I knew that I loved him so much not to settle for friendship. But now what? Justin was straight. That I was sure of. I don't know why I was so sure. He had said to me he had never dated, he never talked about any girls with me, and the way he made me feel had to be more than one-sided. But I wanted him to be gay so, he couldn't be. That was my life. Then I stopped. Just as I had done when I first met him. I stopped thinking and analyzing and just got ready. Things would happen whether I wanted them to or not, whether I thought about them too much or not. Not thinking about it was much less stressful and time consuming. I took a shower real quick and went to put on some clothes. It was 6:45. The guys had already left. I took out some clothes from the bag Justin had packed and was amazed. He had great taste in clothes. A definite plus for gay men and straight men alike! I found a khaki pair of Dockers that went great with an Old Navy long sleeve hunter green shirt. I put on some Timberline hiking boots and a belt and finished my hair. I looked myself up and down in the mirror making sure I was presentable. I don't like to brag, but I had been told by girls and guys that I was pretty good looking. I am 6'1'', with hazel eyes, a swimmer's build because that was pretty much all I did in my spare time, and blonde highlights in my naturally brown hair. As soon as I was satisfied, I walked down to the parking lot and drove my way to the Arena.
It was now 7:50 and Justin still hadn't found Christopher. He told him to be there at 7:30. Where was he? Justin really wanted him to be there. More than anybody out there right now, he wanted Christopher to be backstage when they started. Why wasn't he there? "Hey Just. Come on. Show starts in 10 minutes and we kinda need you." Lance poked his head in Justin's dressing room. "Yeah, I'm coming." Lance knew that something was wrong. JC and Justin were by far the closet in the group, but Justin and Lance had been pretty close them selves. They had studied under the same vocal coach and had similar interests, so they had bonded quickly. "Hey Justin. Mind if I come in for a minute?" Lance looked like Oliver asking the cook could he have some more food in Oliver Twist. It was cute and Justin couldn't help smile as this thought came across his mind. "Yeah sure. Come on in." Justin pulled up a chair for Lance. "What's up with you Curly?" Lance bluntly put it as he sat down. Justin was surprised. Lance had always been tact and graceful when approaching things. "What do you..." Justin was cut off. "You and Chris, I mean. Obviously something. Ever since you started talking to him you have been really happy, and then you meet him and you are moody as any woman I have ever met. One minute you are happy, the next you are mad, and now you are depressed. And the way he looks at you..." Justin quickly looked up when Lance said that. "Whoa! What do you mean the way he looks at me?" Justin was almost yelling. "No need to get all upset about it. I just mean that when he looks at you he has a lotta love there. You are lucky." Lance said with much confidence they were a couple. "Lance, are you saying that you think we are a couple?!" Justin asked half anger and, surprisingly, half hopeful. "Yeah. Aren't you?" Lance felt extremely small now. "I'm sorry, Just. I thought that you and him.... I mean they way y'all act and the looks..." Justin stood up. "Lance, you do know that I am not gay, right?" Lance looked shocked as he said that.
I pulled in the parking lot at 7:49. The traffic was terrible trying to get to the Arena. Must be the concert. I rushed in looking for Justin. I wanted to wish him good luck and all before he went out there. "Excuse me, where is Justin Timberlake?" I asked some stagehand. "I think he is still in his dressing room right down that hall." He said pointing. I thanked him and ran toward the door. I turned down the hallway to see Lance go into Justin's room. I started walking and was about to knock when I heard them talking. "Lance, you do know that I am not gay, right?" My mind was racing. I fell to my knees. I knew that he was straight, but it still hit me so hard. I couldn't breathe. I listened in to what Lance would say. He didn't speak. Justin beat him to it. "You thought I was fag, didn't you!" Justin was yelling now. As soon as I heard that I ran. As fast as I could. I didn't know where I was going. I threw the Justin's keys down the hall and just starting walking. I had to go back to the hotel and get my clothes and return Justin's. Then, then I would be gone.
JC came out of his room just as the keys hit the end of the hall. "What the..." JC was cut off by muffled yelling from Justin's room and then me running out the door and slamming it behind me. JC slowly walked down to Justin's room. He walked in and Justin was sitting on his cot wit his head in his hands. Lance was about in tears in a chair. "What the hell is going on? What is wrong with y'all and Christopher?" Justin raised his head at the sound of that name. "Is Christopher here?" Justin asked. "He was. He threw some keys down the hall, ran from your door out the exit and slammed it shut. What happened?" Justin was scared. "He must have heard. I am so stupid." Justin said only half way to himself. JC was about to ask more when Joey and Chris came up. "Hey, you guys! We have to get on stage. Anyone care to join us?" They both laughed and walked toward the stage entrance. "Come on Justin. We have to go. We will talk about this latter." Justin nodded. I am coming. Just give me a sec with Lance. JC knew better than to not do as he asked, so he nodded and left. "I am so sorry Justin. I shouldn't have..." Justin quickly cut him off. "No. I am sorry. I shouldn't have blown up like that. Especially since..." he was about to say 'since you were right' but the words wouldn't form. He didn't want himself to believe that. "Since it was all over something stupid. I have just had a lot on my mind." Lance smiled. He caught the pause. The pause that told him that it would come to Justin in his own time. He had already gone through this with JC four months ago. He knew he would just have to wait until Justin was ready. "Well, Justin. You know that I am always here for you, and that I love ya. I always will. No matter what." Lance knew tat would be a push in the right direction. "But we have to go." Justin nodded. He was walking out of the door to the stage when he saw the keys to his car on the floor. He picked them up. "OH MY GOD! What about Chris! I have to go and..." Lance had to hold him back. "Justin wait. We have a concert in 2 minutes. Listen, he doesn't have a car and he doesn't have any money. He is gonna have to walk anywhere he goes. He won't make it back anywhere until way after the concert. Come on." Justin knew he was right. He would have to wait. He went out on stage to 60,000 screaming fans. None were Chris.
There I was walking. Feeling alone. I usually felt alone, but never like this. I had lost four friends; the rest of NSYNC would follow Justin, and my best friend with whom I was in love with. How more alone could I be? I was walking back to the hotel, but I was in no hurry. The hotel was about 15 miles away and it would take about 45 minutes to an hour to get there, but that was if I wanted to get there anytime soon. I didn't. I thought about those words. 'You know I'm not gay; you thought I was a fag!' How could I have ever been so stupid? I was wrong to think something would have happened. That is why I had my life philosophy, 'I don't care.' Who ever got hurt for not caring? Caring was where it all started, and all fell apart. I dropped that saying when I met Justin only to have it come back full force for that same reason. How ironic. It was about 10PM when I finally walked into the hotel.
Justin did his thing. He and Lance had walked on last, but not late, and started the show. He sang his parts, did his dance, but not one part of his mind was on the concert. What had he done? How had he done it? How had he screwed up the best thing that ever happened to him with a few little words that were all lies to hide the truth he had never known! Only he could things so screwed up. That was the only thought he had. 'Only I could screw up this bad.' After what seemed like an eternity the concert ended. As soon as he could Justin was in his dressing room putting his clothes back on their racks, grabbing his keys, and was out the door. He pulled onto the freeway at 10 o' clock. He would go to the hotel and hope that Chris went there and was still there. If not, he would try... he didn't know. He just had to believe that he would be led to him somehow. Justin quickly pulled up to the service elevator in the back, punched in the code, and was on his way to the 18th floor. It seemed forever to reach it. Justin thought he would go mad before he reached it. He about did until he heard the ding and saw the doors open. He rushed out and ran to the door. He inserted his key and busted the door open. There he was. Chris sat there on the bed crying. He slowly looked up at Justin. "Don't worry. I'll be gone in a sec. Just came to get my clothes and return yours. That's it. That's all."
TBC
*Well, there it is. Hope you enjoyed it. Send all comments to mlnscrm@aol.com. Thanks. I have to say this one more time. Thank you all who sent e-mail! You have no idea how it felt to get such a turn out. This was my first story! So thank you. Stay tuned for part three. It will be a head turner. Also, if you have any ideas, please feel free to send them along with comments. I am new at this so I know that everything is not right. Just tell me and I will see what I can do.
8^)
** Everything that I have written has been true. No, not the part about it being Justin Timberlake and all the famous stuff, but the feelings and emotions. All of this I feel for a certain person who will be reading this. So everybody else, if you don't understand anything from here, don't worry! I am sorry! You were right and I was wrong! You know how hard that was for me to say. You mean so much to me and I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you. You are part of me. If you leave a part of me goes with you. And it is the most important part I have my heart. Don't listen to what I said before or even what I say now. Know how I feel. Know that I love you and don't deserve you, but am begging for you back. Please.
The Man of My Dreams
? I'm looking... Searching ? For someone who knows what "Love" really means ? I'm looking... Searching ? For the man of my dreams ? ? Someone who can capture my heart ? And put it to good use ? Someone who can make sure no harm comes to it ? No faults, no abuse ? ? Someone who will be there for me ? To wipe the tears from my cheeks ? Who will help me get through those hard, harsh times ? Whenever they seem so bleak ? ? Someone who will claim me ? For who and what I am... Me ? Who won't worry about what other people think ? Because he's the man in my dream... My one and only ? ? Someone who I can open up to ? And never be nervous or afraid ? Because he will be my man, my husband ? Who upon my finger, a ring he laid ? ? Showing me that I can express my feelings ? And give him my true loyalty, trust, and emotion ? Never worrying about regrets ? Never worrying about deceit of my devotion ? ? Someone who understands that he is the love of my life ? My true one and only ? That we are meant to be together ? Just him and me
I am so sorry. Forgive me. Please.