HAPPY PRIDE DAY!!! WOOWOO!! LOL I have been watching all the stuff on TV and I even went downtown to do some celebrating. . why you ask? LOL email me and ask. . LOL
I am ssssooooo sorry for making yo wait so long for this. . but I promise this part is worth it. . I totally wrote it all over just tonight. . and it only took me like 3 hours. . LOL
OH I have to tell ya'll this really quick. . its cute and has to do with Justin and JC. Okay so on the 14th I went to my concert right. And I had really bad seats but with my luck I ran into one of thier bodygaurd. . yadda yadda. . I got a new ticket in a MUCH better section so I could actually see the stage. so anyways. . . during "Just Got Paid" there confetti flying everywhere and I guess with them sweating and what not some would get stuck on um. Well as JC was singing Justin walked up to him and was just standing there and picking all the confetti out of his hair and off the side of his face. . and the look. . YA'LL SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK!!! OMG I almost died!! They looked at each other and it was like WOOWOO!! LOL And them POW this idea came into my head. . so yeh that will come later in the story, hopefully.
Okay I'm done my rambling. . . . OH one last thing. . if you havent already noticed I changed my email address. . long story but yeh so this is my new email address.
DISCLAIMER: I do not know NSYNC, therefore I dont know thier trye sexual identity. My story is a work of fiction and should not be taken seriously. If you are under 18 or whatever the legal age is where you are from please do not read on cause its illegal and I dont wanna get in trouble from your mommies and daddies! LOL
CHAPTER 3
"Seriously?" Chris looked at Justin.
Justin just nodded still with his eyes closed.
"No really, serious?" Chris asked turning his whole body towards Justin.
Justin didn't say anything but he finally opened his eyes and looked at Chris as some tears fell from his eyes and down to his chin. "Seriously." Justin stated.
"So. . . ." Chris didn't know what to say. He wanted to be there for his friend but he just didn't know what to say. "Um, how long have you known?"
"Well, honestly I don't really remember any certain time of realizing it." Justin said feeling a lot more comfy with the whole thing now that he had someone else to talk to before himself in his head.
"Are you going to tell the others or. . ." Chris said before Justin cut in.
"Chris, I can trust that you will keep this to yourself right?" Justin asked. Chris nodded. "I mean I'm not going to keep it from them, I'm just coming to terms with it and I want to take it one step at a time."
"I totally understand that, And I'm sure the other will be there for you. I mean why wouldn't they, ya know?" Chris said with a smile.
Chris was right Justin thought. He knew the guys would all be there for him. After telling Chris he knew that was the least of this problems. Saying out loud was still a factor, and the dreams. How much he liked the dreams, and JC. He was just going to try and get the thought of JC out of his head. Even if there was the slightest chance JC was also gay and felt the same way, there was that BIGGER chance that JC wasn't gay and would probably be a bit creeped out if he knew one of his best friend liked him 'like that'.
They sat for a bit longer not saying anything. Justin had so much he wanted to say but didn't know where to start or even if Chris wanted to listen. Then there was Chris. He knew what Justin was going through. Maybe not first hand but he was there for his other friend and he saw what he was going through and now he could see Justin was going to go through the exact same thing. What Chris wanted to know though was how long was Justin keeping this bottled up and why. Justin obviously understood they were friends and always would be.
"Justin?" Chris said looking over at Justin who was looking at the floor but looked up at Chris once he heard his name, "you know I am here for you, and so will the others."
Justin looked at Chris for a few seconds before answering him, "It not as easy as it sounds. It really isn't."
"What are you talking about?" Chris was all of a sudden confused.
"Well I know you are totally cool with it and I'm sure once I get used to it all I can come to you to talk about whatever, but. . but there is just more to it right now and I just don't want to get into it." Justin said trying to explain it to Chris.
"Well I don't care what it is, not at all. I'm going to be here for you. That's what friends do." Chris said.
"Really?" Justin wanted to be sure.
"Yes, I'm totally sure." Chris said.
It wasn't often when someone would be able to get on Chris serious side. He was the one always cracking jokes about something even when something was supposed to be serious. That's why at that moment Justin realized that he could really talk to Chris about anything. This whole time they were talking he not once cracked a joke or even looked like he was going to.
While they were sitting there Chris went back to watching the TV cause he knew that he didn't want to push Justin to talk about anything he didn't want to at this time.
Justin himself started to drift off into his own little world. He was thinking about anything and everything he could be thinking about. How well things went with Chris, and how he was going to tell the other guys. But most importantly how he was going to tell JC of all. He didn't know what he would do if he told JC everything and JC just turned on him. Maybe if he told him and just left out the who part about him loving JC, but he couldn't lie to his best friend. JC would just see right through it and it would make all the worse.
"Hey Just?" Chris snapped Justin out of his little day dream. "I just want ya to know, you can talk to me about anything at anytime, okay?"
"Thanks Chris. Actually there's a few more things I kinda need help figuring out."
Before Justin could go on they were interrupted by the sound the others getting back on the bus. Justin quickly looked at Chris to make sure he was gonna keep his promise. A few seconds later Joey burst into the back room and announced they were back. Soon was followed by Lance and he told them JC was just talking to the bus driver.
They all got comfy and Joey took hold of the remote from Chris and started to flip through the channels looking for something he liked on TV. After a few minutes they felt the bus start to move and JC joined them in the back.
"We're going straight to the hotel so we can relax for the rest of the night." JC said sitting down next to Justin as Justin tried to act cool. He was so close to telling Chris his major secret, but he decided it was for the best not to so soon.
"Well do we have to stay in? Cause I want to go clubbing." Joey asked JC.
"I don't see why not? You always go clubbing when we are supposed to relax." JC said.
"Cool. Anyone wanna join me?" Joey asked and looked at Justin who looked like he needed a night out, "Hey Just, how bout you?"
"Huh?" Justin turned his attention to Joey from the TV.
"Do you wanna go clubbing with me tonight?" Joey repeated for him.
"Naw, I think I'm just gonna lay around in my room and watch a movie or something."
"Okay cool. . How bout you Lance?"
"As me before you're ready to go. I need to check my e-mail and all that. Meredith is close to getting signed to a record deal so I'm keeping my eye on all the stuff right now." Lance explain as he has just started up his own management company. Even though he has friends and family and others helping him out he was the hand on type.
"That's cool. I'll give you fair warning before I really want to go."
Justin just sat there looking at the TV but wasn't really watching it. He wasn't thinking about much either he was just trying to clear his mind of everything that was going on in his life. It seemed like it was all happening so fast, yet so slow. He was even just thinking about blurting out at that moment that he was gay, but as much as he wanted to get it out he didn't want to do it like that. Not just out of the blue like that.
JC noticed how blank Justin's look was. And he decided since he knew Justin was going to be hanging out in his room all night that he would take that chance to try and talk to him. If it took everything he had he was going to try and help Justin. They had been friends for so long when JC saw Justin like that it made him feel bad cause he didn't like seeing anyone that way.
After a few quiet and long minutes on the bus they arrived at the hotel and was greeted by a bunch of screaming fans. Once inside the hotel there were a few more fans and the guys stopped for a few minutes to sign some autographs and take a few pictures. As they were signing and taking pictures they slowly made their way past the crowd and to the hotel leaving all the fans behind to wait yet again for them to come back down.
Once off the elevator they all headed down the hall to their separate rooms. Usually they would share two in two rooms and one would get their own room, but since they were going to be there for a few days they decided to get their own rooms this time. As they were trying to unlock their doors Joey and Lance were taking about what time to figure out clubbing plans if Lance decided to go and Chris asked Justin if he wanted any company later. Justin quietly told him no, but he would talk to him in the morning.
Once inside his room Justin kicked off his shoes and started to undress. He was leaving a trail of clothes from the door as he made his way over to his bag. He went through it till he found a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. After he was chanced he fall back on to the bed and closed his eyes. He wanted to go to sleep but he just wasn't tired enough to actually sleep. He got up and grabbed one of the pillows and laid down in his stomach with the pillow under his chin. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV and started to channel surf to see if the basketball game was still on. He couldn't find it so he kept it on ESPN to see any updates.
A few hours had passed and Joey has called to see if he has changed his mind about going clubbing but Justin told him he was sure he didn't want to go. Joey even offered to just get one of the bodyguards to make a run to the liquor store and then they could hang out in a hotel room and drink, but Justin told him to just go clubbing and that they would do that another night. Joey agreed and he and Lance went out. Chris had also called to see if Justin wanted or needed to talk that night or in the morning. Justin let him know that if he needed to talk he would go to him for sure. After they got off the phone all Justin wanted to do was go to sleep. It was still early but he needed the rest. At least he would be up early and he could be the one to do the whole wake up call thing for Joey and Lance. He headed into the bathroom to get ready to go to sleep. He was brushing his teeth when there was a knock at the door. Since he had never locked it he yelled for whoever to come in. He closed the bathroom door so he could finish up all his business.
He opened up the bathroom door and walked out to find JC cleaning up the mess of clothes he left earlier. Since he had gotten into his room Justin was able to forget about his problems and JC was one of the last people he wanted to see. All his feeling and thought came crashing back onto him.
"JC, what are you doing?" Justin asked kinda annoyed.
"Oh sorry." JC said, "I didn't know you wanted your room messy like this." And he laughed and put the clothes down on a chair.
"No I mean what are you doing here?"
"Well I wanted to talk to you, and you told me I could come in."
"Yeh well I thought you were someone else." Justin said going over to the pile of clothes JC had picked up and grabbed it and took it over to his bag and dropped them.
"Who did you think I was?" JC was kinda getting upset that his friend of some many years was acting like he didn't want to see him.
"I don't know just someone else." Justin snapped and sat down on his bed.
"Okay Just, I don't know what that fuck crawled up your ass and died but I want to know why you keep taking an attitude with me." JC said and before Justin could say something he went on, "I mean you are all fine with Joey, Lance and Chris, why not me? We have been friends for so long and we used to tell each other everything and now you are acting all pissed towards me and I don't like it at all."
Justin just looked up at JC. He didn't realize he was acting that bad towards JC. Well he new he was acting distant but he didn't realize it was that bad. "Well its not that easy to explain." Justin said innocently. Wishing this was all a bad dream.
"Oh really? Try me!!" JC snapped back.
"JC, I said its not that easy to explain." Justin said standing up in front of his friend. At this point he had totally forgotten about his initial worries.
"Justin, like I said, try me." JC said it a lot calmer this time.
"Fine." Justin walked a few feet away from JC. "Do you really want to know? Do you want to know what my problem is? You want me to blurt it out no matter what? Do you? Do you want me to totally make myself feel stupider then I already do? Cause your doing a pretty damn good job at the right now. You out of all the guys I thought would respect me enough at let me live my own life and choose when I want to talk to someone about something." JC tried moving towards Justin to let him know he didn't mean it, "No." Justin stopped him, "you of all people." Justin was almost in tears at this moment.
JC didn't realize what he was doing. He was trying to help his friend yet he was driving him away emotionally. "Justin I just want to be here for you. I don't care what it is. Your my friend, one of the best. Please trust me on this."
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes Justin. I do." JC said sitting down in a chair.
"Fine. . . . . . ." ******************************************** hehehehe send me feedback at fanficgirlie@look.ca