Disclaimer: This story is fiction. It makes no claims to the true personality or sexuality of anyone involved. You already know if you shouldn't be reading this.
------------------ Just Together by jm_stories ------------------
Chapter XXVI
-=-=-=-=- Jonny -=-=-=-=-
*** [ Sat, 3/23/02 ]
"I think I'm gonna ask Riley to be my boyfriend today," I said to Adam as we were on our way to a soccer game. Mr. Walker was driving us.
"What difference is that gonna make? You already practically act like it," Adam said.
"No we don't. We just hang out and talk. We haven't even kissed except for that first night when he came out."
"So you just want to get some," Adam teased.
"Hell yea, but it's not just sex. That's why I took so long."
"Can you get together later?" I asked Riley after the game.
"Yea. What time?"
"Whenever," I shrugged.
"Four?"
"That'll work."
"Where?" Riley asked.
"Are you going to have any privacy at your place, or is your dad gonna be hanging around?"
"Actually," Riley smiled. "He's at some conference and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon."
"Really? Why didn't you say so. Party at Riley's!" I yelled.
"No there's not!" Riley yelled.
"Okay. No party. Your place is too small, anyway," I teased.
"Yea, I know."
"Maybe I could stay the night, though."
"Really?" Riley asked, surprised.
"Maybe. Would it be okay?"
"Yea. Definitely."
"Is it okay if I stay at Riley's tonight?" I asked Uncle Joe.
"Doing what?"
"We're gonna watch the whole Showtime 'Queer as Folk'," I said. It seemed like a plausible excuse.
"Where's his father?"
"What do you mean?"
"You two are usually over here when his father is home. If you're going over there, then he must be gone," Uncle Joe said and then smiled that knew what was up. "Realize that I will check your story."
"He's just at a conference. He's supposed to be back tomorrow morning. Probably before we even get to the last episode," I said, trying not to sound caught.
"Then the answer is no. You'll be back by curfew."
"Why not?"
"Do you really need to ask? Be happy that I'm letting you go over without his father there at all."
"You wouldn't have any problem if I wanted to stay at Adam's," I complained.
"Adam's not gay and isn't interested in being your boyfriend. If you were straight I wouldn't let you stay the night at your girlfriend's house."
"Yea, except Riley's not my boyfriend yet, and even if he was, it's not like either of us can get pregnant."
"The decision is made. Ask again and you can just stay home tonight."
"Fine," I sighed at turned to go.
"What time will you be home?"
"By midnight," I sighed.
"Good boy."
Grrr. He can be so annoying.
"Hey," Riley smiled as he opened his door.
"Hey. I can't stay the night," I said as I walked in.
"Why not?"
"'Cause your dad's not home. He's got too much experience as a parent and you can't get anything past him," I explained.
"That sucks. So... What do you want to do?"
"How about...we make out and then you can lick me all over until I explode in ecstasy," I smiled.
"Ha ha. Real funny," Riley groaned.
"Oh. Did you change your mind?" I teased and dropped down onto the sofa.
"You really get off on teasing me, don't you?"
"I'm not teasing. Will you be my boyfriend?" I said and tried not to smile or laugh at the look of shock on Riley's face.
"Are you serious?"
I got up and walked up to Riley. He was staring at me and breathing hard. I leaned in and softly kissed him on the lips. He didn't respond at first, and then started kissing back. He tasted like he'd just brushed his teeth and was delicious. I started to get hard and wrapped my arms around him, pulling us together. I could feel that he was hard, too, and he wasn't tiny. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back as we kissed and rubbed against each other. I stepped back, pulling him with me, so we could lie down on the sofa. It was closer than I thought and I tripped and fell back, pulling Riley with me. The kiss broke and we laughed.
"I can't believe you finally gave in. What changed your mind?"
"Nothing, really. It was just time. I didn't want to jump into it and I wanted to make sure you weren't going to jump back into the closet," I said.
"Like that could happen. Everyone already knows."
"I know, but you tried before. Anyway, I've wanted to kiss you a ton of times. I was almost gonna do it last weekend, but we were never alone."
"See? If you'd just been alone with me sooner, we could have been doing this," Riley smiled and we started kissing again. I don't know how long we were kissing when Riley's stomach growled and he pulled back and giggled.
"Sorry. I haven't had dinner yet."
"Is that why you were eating me?" I teased.
"Nope. That's another kind of hunger," he smirked and gave me a quick kiss before climbing off me. "Did you eat? What do you want for dinner?"
"What are my choices?"
"I can make some spaghetti. I think there's some fried chicken in the freezer. Um, I've got some soup. Whatever you want?"
"What were you going to have?"
"I hadn't planned on anything. How about grilled cheese and soup?"
"Sounds good," I said and we went to the kitchen. "How do you make your grilled cheese?"
"Cheese and buttered bread in a pan. How else would you make it?"
"Jonah makes really good grilled cheese. He uses those big slices of bread and all kinds of vegetables and two kinds of cheese holding it all together. It's really good."
"Sounds more like a vegetable sandwich than grilled cheese," Riley said as he started buttering the bread.
"I guess. That's what he calls it, though. It's good, and that's all that matters."
"I don't have any fresh vegetables, except for lettuce. That sounds kinda gross with just cooked lettuce."
"Yea. He doesn't have lettuce in it. Just tomatoes, sprouts, onions and mushrooms."
"Okay. That sounds good."
"Anything I can do?"
"Um, you can get the soup ready, if you want," he said and pointed to the cabinet. "Bowls are up there. We'll just nuke it."
"Just so you know, I'm totally clean. I got tested a couple weeks ago," I said to Riley.
"You did? When? I would have gone with you."
"A couple weeks ago. I didn't want anyone to know. Anyway, everything came back clean."
"Were you worried about it?"
"Yes and no. Yes, just because it's what it is. No, because I used a condom when I fucked that girl and Pasha."
"Do you want me to get tested before we do anything else?"
"Why? You're a virgin, right?"
"Yea," he muttered.
"Have you ever had a blood transfusion or done needle drugs?"
"Nope. The only times I've even been in the hospital is for stitches when I was little."
"Then you're safe."
"Have you done drugs before? You asked about needle drugs."
"I smoked weed once. It made me sick. That's it except for alcohol," I said.
"I did E once," Riley admitted. "It was okay. I was really hyper for, like, forever. I felt like shit the next day, though. What's your favorite alcohol?"
"The red wine I had at Thanksgiving last year. It was a great buzz and didn't make me feel sick. Beer is okay if it's good beer, but I'd rather have something else. I've had Mezcal -- which is a kind of tequila -- and it was okay, but really harsh. I can't even think about rum and Coke. That's the only time I've ever been really sick on alcohol and I had a horrible hangover the next day. How about you?"
"Beer is fine most of the time. Southern Comfort is really good. I've also had a drink called a Fuzzy Navel that was good. It was orange juice and something."
"I haven't had many mixed drinks. Oh, there was this licorice flavored stuff that I also had at Thanksgiving. It was really good."
"Do you want to watch something on TV, or just make out the rest of the night?" Riley smiled.
"How about we go to your room, put on some music, and make out all night? You'll also have to set your alarm so I'm not late getting home. I won't be able to come over anymore if I'm late."
"We wouldn't want that."
"Nope. Do you have some mouthwash?"
"Oh, yea. Come on," Riley said and led me to the bathroom. We rinsed with the mouthwash and then gave each other a quick kiss just to make sure it worked. It did.
We went to his room and he put on some old CD by The Cure. I flopped down on his bed and stretched out, putting my hands behind my head and letting my shirt ride up a little so my belly was showing.
"What time do I need to set the alarm?"
"Probably 10:30," I said.
Riley turned around from setting the clock and smiled. He crawled on the bed over me until we were face to face.
"Hi."
"Hi," I said back and put my hands on his sides under his shirt. He tensed and relaxed and I slowly slid my hands further up until I was touching his pects. He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. I rubbed his nipples with my thumbs and leaned up to kiss his neck. He moaned slightly and arched his back. I licked his Adam's Apple and he giggled and turned his head down.
"That tickles."
"How about this?" I teased and dug my fingers into his ribs. He jerked and tried to get away, but I held on and we rolled over so he was on his back and I was sitting on his legs. I pushed his shirt up over his face and slid down so I could lick his nipples. He squirmed and tried to pull his shirt off.
As soon as he had his off he reached for mine and almost ripped it pulling it off, not to mention disturbing me kissing his nipples. I kissed lower. His breathing got faster and I could feel the heat from his erection through his pants. I wanted to go further, but I didn't -- at least not yet. I kissed back up and pressed our bodies together as I got to his lips.
This felt totally different than with Pasha and so much better. So much worse, too. I was so hard that it hurt and still having my pants on didn't help. Riley must have been feeling the same thing because he squeezed his hands between us and tried to unbutton my pants. I broke the kiss and rolled off him.
"Good idea," I said and quickly unbuttoned my pants and shoved them down. Riley was doing the same to himself.
Now we were naked -- except for our socks -- and lying next to each other. I looked down at his erection for the first time. It was beautiful and probably the same size as me. Riley reached out and brushed his hand along my side and down to my butt. I leaned in to kiss him on the lips. He passed my lips and went for my nipples, pushing me onto my back. His hand brushed around my erection and then finally grasped it while he sucked and nibbled at my nipples. He didn't jack me off, but just held me. It was torture.
He resisted me pulling him up, so I pushed him down. He held my erection out of his way and kissed along my belly. I was so close. He stopped and leaned up, looking at my erection in his hand.
"Turn around so I can give you something, too," I said.
"This is my first time," he said softly and didn't move.
"I have no complaints. Come on. Turn around."
He didn't do it. Instead, he slowly leaned down until my dick was so close to his mouth I could feel his breath. He paused, opened his mouth wide, and put the first couple inches of me in his mouth before closing it around me. His tongue hesitantly licked around and he slid back off. It was wonderful.
"You taste really good," he said to me with a grin.
"Thanks. Now turn around so I can taste you, too," I pouted.
He quickly turned and we were on our sides again in a 69 position. He held on to me, but looked down to watch my first taste of him. I touched him there for the first time as I pulled his erection away from his belly. He was leaking precum and super hard. I did the same to him for an initial taste. Then I went back for seconds. And thirds. And... His legs were shaking and he attacked my erection with fervor, trying to match what I was doing. He was really good.
"I...I'm really c-c-close," Riley panted.
"Me, too. Let's try to shoot together," I panted and sat up.
He looked confused until I pushed him onto his back and laid on top of him, pressing our erections together and kissing him. His arms went around me and held me tight as we humped against each other and kissed. That feeling started and he broke the kiss. His hot wetness exploded a few seconds before mine and we panted as we shot our loads, and then relaxed against each other. Damn. It's never been so good.
I kissed along his ear as I recovered. "That was really nice," I whispered in his ear as I kissed it.
"Yea," he sighed. "I love you," he added softly and squeezed me tight.
It felt really good, but I didn't want to say it to him yet. I think I felt it. I mean, I really liked him, but I don't know if it was love yet.
We rolled over and Riley leaned up a little so he could look at me. "Do you love me?" He asked softly, and then cringed slightly.
"I'm getting there," I said, trying not to hurt him, and kissed him.
"I'm sorry I asked. I shouldn't pressure you," he said after we parted.
"I like you a lot. I do. I don't know if it's love yet. Like, real love. I don't want to say it unless I really mean it."
"I know. I don't want you to say it unless you mean it. It was pretty great, anyway. Did I do okay with the blowjob? It's the first time I've done it."
I smiled broadly. "You were perfect and wonderful. You're a natural born cock-sucker," I said and then laughed.
"So are you -- even if you have had practice."
"Only once before. You want to take a shower to clean up?"
"Are we done already?"
"No way, unless you want to be..."
"No way."
"Okay. I just hate having cum all over me. We can have fun in the shower and then make out some more," I offered.
"It's still warm and we're both still hard," Riley grinned as he ground against me.
"Okay. You've convinced me," I smiled and we kissed again and humped against each other with our cum acting as lube. Such sweet torture.
We continued making out until we came again, and then made out some more before going to clean up in the shower. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves in the shower and managed to get clean, too. Eventually, we snuggled on the sofa and watched TV until I had to go home. Riley walked me to the bus stop and we made plans to get together tomorrow.
"I'm home," I called out. Uncle Joe, Aunt Mary and Jay were just finishing a movie.
"Good night?" Uncle Joe asked.
I hung up my jacket and stepped into the living room. "Yea. It was pretty good."
He and Aunt Mary looked at me like something was up. I looked down to make sure I had my pants on and my fly was up.
"What?" I asked.
"We'll talk in the morning," Aunt Mary said after a few seconds.
"Yea, okay," I said, confused, and went up to my room. I felt exhausted and giddy at the same time. I brushed my teeth and then collapsed into bed.
"What's up with you?" Jay asked as he walked in.
"Nothing's up. I'm trying to go to sleep."
"Why do Mom and Dad want to talk to you in the morning?"
"I have no idea. You didn't hear them say anything?"
"No. They sent me to bed. Have you been drinking? You seemed really happy when you got home. I bet they think you've been drinking," Jay said.
"I haven't been drinking and why would I be upset when I got home?"
"I don't mean that. I mean you were smiling a lot. You usually just grunt and go upstairs."
"You're making things up. Now let me go to sleep." I ignored him and tried to think about if I gave anything away. I didn't think so, but... I'll have to be a lot more careful.
"So what happened last night?" Uncle Joe asked me as I went into the kitchen for breakfast.
"We just hung out. Watched some TV and talked," I said casually.
He and Aunt Mary just looked at me like they were waiting for more.
"What?" I asked.
"That's all you did?"
Shit. Do they know? I better give them something else to follow. "Well, I asked Riley to be my boyfriend. He said yes."
"Ah. And?"
"And what? Do you know something that I don't?"
"We know teenagers," Aunt Mary said.
"Now that you and Riley are dating, there are a few new rules," Uncle Joe started.
I groaned and sat down at the table with my coffee.
"First: if you two are alone in your room together the door will be open all the way. Second: no sex in this house. We'd prefer not at all until you're 18."
I started to protest.
"Yes, I know neither of you can get pregnant. That's not the point. You're too young to be having sex. You're not being treated any different than Joey or Jill were," Uncle Joe interrupted.
"But they're straight, and it's not like I haven't already had sex before."
"Doesn't matter. Those are the rules."
"When have you had sex before?" Aunt Mary asked. Shit. I thought they already knew.
"I just have. I thought you already knew that. I mean, it's not the 1950's or anything," I tried to dismiss.
"Pasha?" Uncle Joe asked.
"Yea. That was a mistake."
They both thought for a few moments. "We'll talk more about this later," Aunt Mary finally said.
"What? There's nothing to talk about. Jonah already told me I was stupid for getting with Pasha. There's nothing else to say about it. It happened and I've learned from that mistake."
"What did you learn?" Uncle Joe asked.
"That it's easy to get wrapped up in the moment and I should have known him better."
"You need to learn how to wait until you're older."
"It doesn't really matter if you know the person and like him. It's all timing with that person. When was the first time you had sex?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter. This is about you."
"That's an evasive parent answer that means you had sex when you were younger, too. So it's okay for you to do, but it's not okay for anyone else?"
"It's the voice of experience. Sex complicates things, and it doesn't matter if you're 16 or 60. The difference is that you don't have the emotional maturity at 16 to deal with those complications."
I started to speak.
"Yes, I know you're more mature than the average 16 year old," Aunt Mary interrupted. "This isn't a negotiation. While you're living under our roof you'll live by our rules. Nothing else needs to be said about it."
*** [ Saturday, 4/6/02 ]
"Hey, sexy," Riley said as he walked into my bedroom.
I grinned and gave him a quick kiss. "Hey, yourself. You ready to go?"
"What time does it start? Do we have time to...make out a little?"
"It starts in 45 minutes. We have enough time for..." I started and then kissed him for a couple minutes. We parted when Jay walked in.
"You really need to get your own room now that you have a boyfriend so I don't have to see you two sucking face," Jay complained.
"I agree. See if you can convince your folks. We're going, anyway," I said.
"Where are you going?"
"None of your business."
Riley and I went downstairs. I told Aunt Mary we were going to Horizons and we headed out. We took the bus to the Howard station and then the train to Horizons. There were lots of people there.
We found the room the gay youth group was in and went inside. There were at least 30 guys there and a couple girls. It was more like a lounge with people sitting around in random groups. Riley moved closer to me.
"Do you feel weird?" He whispered to me.
"Kinda. Where do you want to sit?"
"Oh my god! Look at the hottie that just walked in!" Some very queeny guy squealed. If I ever sounded like that it's no wonder Jonah yelled at me.
"You should run now," a girl said to us.
"Helllloooo, beautiful," queeny guy said and walked up to us. He was looking at Riley. "I'm Steven."
"And I'm taken," Riley said and grabbed my hand, pulling me closer.
"Him? You're dating him?" He gestured at me. "You're way too hot to date him. You want to get together?"
"No. I want you to get out of my face," Riley snapped.
"Oooo. You're a butch one. Bet you're a top, huh? I'm a bottom," he said suggestively.
"Fuck off, troll," I snapped and pulled Riley over near the nice, safe lesbians.
"Troll?! Now that's the pot calling the kettle black," Steven said.
"Back in your cage, Steven," an older guy said as he walked in.
"I'm just welcoming the new members," Steven said innocently.
"You've welcomed plenty of members, from what I've heard," some other guy said.
"Though it's usually on his back," another guy joked and moaned like he was getting fucked.
"You didn't seem to mind, Speedy," Steven snapped and went back to his group.
"Okay. Welcome. For those of you who are new, I'll explain things. Most of the time there aren't any planned discussion or activities. This is just a safe place to meet and talk with other people who may feel like you. This isn't a stable to pick up your next trick," the older guy said and gave a look to Steven.
"Oh, I'm flattered," Steven laughed.
"I'm sure. Anyway. I'm Rick and I'm one of the counselors. If you want to talk, just ask. I'm not too scary. Talk to each other. We really only have one rule, and that is that what happens and what's said in here, stays in here. Some of you may be out. Some not. Some sure. Some questioning. You'll not be judged in here. So, unless someone has something they want to tell everyone, talk amongst yourselves," Rick said and then sat down on a sofa and grabbed a copy of "The Advocate".
"Who do you want to sit with?" Riley whispered to me.
"Anyone but the asshole," I said back.
"I agree."
"Hey. You can join us," a guy who looked like a football player said.
He sounded normal and we decided to give it a shot. The group of about six guys he was with all seemed to be the butch section -- or at least not the super girly section.
"Hey. I'm Jonny," I said as we walked over.
"I'm Riley."
"Don't let Steven scare you away. We're not all day-glo queens. I'm Tom," the guy who waved us over said.
"He does take going camping to new extremes, doesn't he," I smirked.
"Going camping? That's a new one. I'm Joel." Joel, if any sport, looked like a runner. He was okay looking.
"Yea. I learned that from my gay big brother in New York," I said.
"Your brother is gay, too? Damn. I bet your 'rents were thrilled at having two gay kids," another guy said. "Oh. I'm Sam."
"We're not really related. He's just someone I've known forever."
"That's cool. Where do you go to school?"
"Northwestern."
"How old are you?"
"Sixteen."
"Are you some genius to be in college at 16?"
"Northwestern High School," Riley clarified.
"I didn't know they had one."
"It's one of those charter schools for the AP crowd," a guy who hadn't spoken yet said.
"That's the place," I agreed.
"How's the homophobia there?"
"It's not too bad. I've only ever really had problems with one guy, but he's not a problem anymore."
"You're out?"
"Yep. Have been for a year now."
"What happened to the 'phobe? He get expelled?"
"His dad beat him to death for getting caught trying to shoot me."
"No shit?"
"Not even a skid mark," I smirked.
"That was just a couple months ago, wasn't it? The guy's father was a lawyer, right?" Tom asked.
"Yea. How'd you know?"
"My dad is a cop. He's the one who took your report."
"Are you out to him?"
"Yea."
"That explains it, then. I thought he might have been gay since he seemed pretty cool."
"He's okay most of the time, but he's straight -- or he's in some super deep denial with my mom," he laughed.
"What about you, Riley?" another guy asked. "I'm JT."
"I've been out for a couple months by choice, and a couple months before that without any choice. Um, I go to the same school as Jonny. My dad is the principal there," Riley answered.
"You really didn't have much of a choice the second time, either," I teased.
"Only because you said you wouldn't be my boyfriend unless I was out."
"Yea, that and the fact that you yelled you wanted to lick me all over while we were at a party."
Everyone laughed.
"What's wrong with that? I'd lick you all over," Joel laughed.
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Riley countered.
"I'm just joking. How long have you been together?"
"Just a couple weeks," I said.
"He did his best to resist me, but I finally broke him down," Riley teased.
"I needed a good licking," I smiled.
"Don't we all," Tom laughed.
"I know I could use one," JT agreed.
"You'll have to find your own boyfriend to do that for you," I smiled and licked Riley's cheek.
"Ew," he laughed and wiped off his cheek.
"Dis'ed and dismissed," Joel laughed.
"No, just not in public," Riley said.
"I agree. I don't want to see anyone making out in public."
"You wouldn't mind so much if you were actually getting any, Xavier," Tom teased.
"Yea, I still would. And it's not like you can talk, Tom. What happened to your last boyfriend? Right back into the closet and went all 'phobe on you."
"That's a low blow, man."
"Sorry, but it's true. You get on my case about not having a boyfriend, but you pick losers for boyfriends."
"It's not easy to find a good boyfriend at any age, but it's even harder when you're young," Rick, the older guy, said as he sat in on our group.
"I've got my guy," Riley smiled and squeezed my hand.
"Sap," I teased and gave him a quick kiss.
"Rub it in," Joel groaned.
"Anyway, my kinda big brother in New York found his soul mate, but he says the same thing. Of course, his boyfriend had to go after him 'cause he's totally clueless about someone liking him."
"Don't leave out that his boyfriend is a movie star," Riley said.
I squeezed his hand hard and shot him a look to shut up.
"Who is it? Who's he dating?" Sam asked.
"Nevermind. I shouldn't have said anything," Riley said.
"It's too late now. You have to let us know," JT protested.
"Fine. Keep it to yourselves, but he's dating Michael Pitt," I said.
"Who?" Xavier asked.
"He was in 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch'," Rick said.
"And on 'Dawson's Creek'," Sam added.
"Oh, okay. I know who you're talking about. He's okay," Xavier said.
"Why do you have to keep quiet about it? He's not some 'Teen Beat' model," Tom asked.
"I'd do him," Sam laughed.
"It's not really something I'm supposed to keep quiet about, just not broadcast it," I said.
"Unattainable, anyway. So are there any more guys like you at your school?" JT asked.
"Translation: anyone he can hook up with," Devon laughed.
"There're only two other guys who are out. One guy is a senior and kinda nerdy and quiet, but he's okay. I've only talked with him once last year. The other guy is a junior and is super femme," I explained.
"That's okay. Is he cute?" JT asked.
"If you like girls, he's probably okay," I said and gave him a weird look.
"He's a chick with a dick," Riley added.
"Hey. I've got no problems with that. He's got the good part," JT laughed.
"Damn, man. You'll chase after anything with a dick," Tom teased.
"No. He still has to be cute and under 25."
"Hopefully under 18 if you're doing anything with him," Rick said.
"Come on, man. I'm 18 now."
"Then over 18. No sense getting in trouble for a little sex."
"There are lots of hot college guys around Northwestern," I offered.
"Hmm. Mind showing me around sometime?"
"No prob."
"What do you think?" I asked Riley as we took the train home.
"It started out rough, but it was okay after that. I thought the guys we were sitting with were okay. I would go back. You?" Riley answered.
"About the same. I was ready to punch Steven when he started hitting on you."
"Thanks, but I can take care of myself. You know he's messed in the head if he ignored you and hit on me."
"Thanks for the pity."
"What are you talking about? You're totally hot."
"Then you must be totally plus one," I said back, being sappy.
*** [ Saturday, 4/20/02 ]
"Dude. You wanna do something tonight? Maybe go bowling?" Adam asked as he walked into my room. I was working on a story.
"I don't know. I'll have to call and ask Riley what he wants to do," I answered.
"You can't decide for yourself?"
"Yea, I can decide for myself, but I can't decide for Riley. We have plans tonight."
"You have plans practically every night with Riley."
"Then why are you surprised? He's my boyfriend."
"Like anyone could forget. You two have been attached at the hip since you got together."
"Why are you acting so jealous?"
"I'm not secretly gay and in love with you, dude. We were best friends until you got together with Riley," Adam said.
"I thought we are best friends. We still hang out. We still talk," I countered.
"I hardly see you unless he's around."
"He's my boyfriend. What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing. Just that he always tries to keep you to himself. It makes me feel like a third wheel -- and an unwanted one, at that. I know it's gonna change and all. I know you see it, too. You said, yourself, that you still want to be one of the guys. Riley's not letting you be one of the guys. He wants to be your wife and keep you home."
"Why are you trying to break us up?"
"I'm not."
"Sure sounds like it."
Adam sighed. "I'm just trying to get you to see that since you've been with Riley you've stopped hanging out with everyone else, and when you do, you hardly pay any attention to anyone but Riley."
"Once again: he's my boyfriend. You'd do the same with any girlfriend you had."
"I wouldn't ignore my friends and invite my girlfriend everywhere I went. Even Brandon -- who you used to lust after -- didn't invite his girlfriend when he went out with the guys. Everyone even joked that she didn't really exist since we'd never seen her."
"And she dumped him, too. It's not even the same, anyway. Riley is a guy. That's one of the great things about being gay. You can hang out with the guys and still be with your boyfriend," I said.
"It's not about what sex he is. It's about where your focus is. Nevermind. I'll talk to you later, maybe," Adam said and left.
*** [ Saturday, 4/27/02 ]
"Hey," Riley smiled as he opened the door.
"Hey," I said back and gave him a quick kiss.
"My dad will be back any minute."
"Damn. Oh well. All the guys are going to this under-age club near here tonight. We should go," I said.
"Why? I thought we were just going to hang out together tonight."
"We can hang out together at the club."
"But if we're at the club we can't snuggle on the sofa and make out. We probably can't even hold hands," Riley protested.
"We can survive a couple hours. Come on. We never go out with the guys anymore and just hang with friends."
"That's not true. We're with them every day at school and soccer. The weekend is our time alone."
"School doesn't count. We're not gonna have friends anymore if we don't go out with them and just act cool every once in a while."
"We still hang out with them. No one has said anything to me."
"When was the last time we went out with everyone?"
"Um... There was the party at Tim's house after the soccer game," Riley offered.
"That was almost a month ago. It doesn't matter. We need to go out more."
"Why? We've got each other. Why would I want to go to a club and be hit on and have to watch you get hit on?"
"So what? It's not a gay club, so you know there's not even a slight chance of either of us being tempted. You don't need to be so jealous," I said.
"I'm not jealous."
"Then why are you acting like it?"
"Why are you always trying to go out with other guys?"
"Out with straight guys who are my friends."
"And they aren't my friends?"
"Yea, but they won't be if you keep ditching them. They won't be my friends, either. Adam's been bitching a while 'cause we never hang out anymore."
"Fuck Adam. He can find his own boyfriend."
"Fuck you. You are being jealous. Adam is my FRIEND. He'll never be my BOYfriend even if I wanted that -- which I don't."
"Then why is what he wants more important than what I want?"
"It's not more important. It's just a different perspective 'cause you've lost all perspective. I love that you're my boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I want to give up all my friends and sit at home with you all the time. I want to go out and have fun. We're not an old married couple."
"Fuck you. If you want to go out, then go out. You don't need my permission. I'm just your boyfriend," Riley snapped.
"You're right. I don't need your permission. I'm going tonight. Come if you want. I don't care," I said and turned to go.
"Where are you going?" Riley demanded.
"It doesn't matter. I'm going where I can have some breathing room. You seem to need it, too."
"That's right. Just walk away, asshole," he yelled as I walked down the hall to the elevator.
I flipped him off as I got on.
"Jonny?" Chris said, confused, and looked around. "Where's your shadow?"
"Ha, ha. I don't know where he's at. Probably at home still being pissed at me," I said.
"Oo. Trouble in paradise."
"We just had a fight. I wanted to hang with you guys tonight and he just wanted to stay in alone again."
"Yea. I'm all for spending time with your girl and all, but you still need to get away."
"I know. That's what I told him. Where's everyone else?"
"I don't know. Late, apparently. Why didn't Adam come with you?"
"I don't know. He didn't return my call so I didn't wait for him. He's been kinda pissed at me, anyway, for ditching him all the time."
"He'll get over it," Chris shrugged. "Everyone gets that way with their first real relationship."
"Blocking everyone else out?"
"Yea, as far as I've experienced. It burns out too quickly if you spend all your time with each other."
"So you think Riley and I won't last?"
Chris gave me a strange look. "You're a sophomore in high school. Of course it's not going to last. Do you really think Riley is your soul mate, or whatever?"
"No. I don't think he's my soul mate, but I love him -- most of the time. I hate his insecure jealous streak."
"That's a mile wide," Chris muttered.
"Hey, guys. Where's Riley?" Matt said as he walked up.
"Lover's quarrel," Chris smirked.
"Pretty much," I agreed.
Matt just shrugged as Brandon and Paul Damon showed up. Brandon, true to form, ignored me. I've never really hung out with Paul, so I didn't know him that well.
"I guess everyone's here who's coming," Chris shrugged, giving Brandon a 'stop being an ass' look, and turned to get in line to get in.
It's so sad that an underage club has a line. Someone should open more of them. The line moved pretty quickly and we were almost to the door when Adam ran up.
"Just in time," I said.
"Yea, I know I'm late. You should have waited for me, dude. The rents almost weren't going to let me come," Adam complained.
"You never called me back. I figured you were still pissed off."
"You never called. Last time I talked to you was yesterday."
"I left a message on your machine this afternoon. Maybe your sisters erased it, again."
"Probably. It's no wonder I don't have a life. They screen all my calls," Adam groaned.
"Yea, man. Lisa Richardson was telling me the other day how she was pissed that you never called her back. She wanted a little hot tamale," Matt teased.
"Guess she didn't want your little cocktail wiener, huh?" Adam shot back.
"All-American hot beef injection," Matt tried.
"I don't want to hear about your weird fetishes," Brandon teased.
"Anyway, Lisa Richardson doesn't even know I exist. She's out of everyone's league," Adam said as he was frisked for drugs or weapons and then paid the doorman.
"I say you should try it," I yelled above the loud music inside. "Everyone is so in awe of her that she doesn't have a guy. They all think she's out of their league."
"I could never date a girl that beautiful. I'd be a nervous wreck. You didn't bring Riley?"
"No. He wanted to sit at home alone."
"You guys had a fight?"
"Yea. Let's talk about it later." I almost had to yell in his ear to be heard.
*** [ Sunday ]
"Hey. It's me," I said.
"Who?" Michael groaned.
"Jonny. I need to talk to Jonah."
"He's sleeping. So was I. Call back in a couple hours."
"You guys won't be home in a couple hours. Come on. I need to talk to him."
"Talk to me. I'm not going to wake him up. He's not getting enough sleep as it is."
"Okay. It's guy trouble."
"Always is. What's wrong now?"
"I don't know. It just that Riley is being really clingy and never wants to go out and do stuff. He just wants to stay in and make out."
"And you've got a problem with that?"
"Not with making out, but I do with staying in all the time. I don't know if it's 'cause he's afraid to be out with a guy or what. He's totally paranoid about no PDA and gets jealous whenever I want to go out with the guys," I explained.
"He's just young and not comfortable with himself yet. Probably not ready for a relationship. You probably aren't ready, either. You still want to hang out with the guys. You can't do that and have a boyfriend unless you're secure with who you are and secure with your relationship. That's really hard to do with your first boyfriend."
"So you think we should break up?"
"Doesn't matter. You should do what you feel is best. Talk with Riley about it."
"I've tried. He doesn't see the problem."
"That's the thing about being a couple. If one person has a problem, then both have a problem. Denying it doesn't make it not a problem."
"What happened with your first boyfriend?"
"Not really the same situation."
"So. What happened?"
"We hung out together all the time and went everywhere together until we just got on each other's nerves. We weren't having sex, so we didn't even have that in the mix."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. I guess I was kind of afraid of taking that last step."
"Okay. That's not a problem we have. The sex is great when we can get it."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean we can't do it at my house at all and we can't do it at his house when his dad is home. We have to schedule quick bits here and there when his dad is gone."
"That sucks."
"Tell me about it," I groaned.
"You should have waited, anyway. If you have sex too soon in the relationship it makes it weird."
"What do you mean? What's too soon?"
"Too soon is before you know the person well enough and have a relationship outside of the sexual or romantic. It won't last if sex is the basis for the relationship," Michael said.
"Yea, I know, but we knew each other for months before we got together."
"Then it's not about you. It's just in general. Sex loses its spark with the same person after a while. It just happens. You need to have something else there or everything will fall apart."
"You and Jonah don't like it anymore?"
"We're fine. We don't do it as much as we used to, but that's also because one or the other of us is so busy. We also try to do things to keep the spark there when we can. It's not anything bad. It's just life."
"Oh. Okay. So what should I do with Riley?"
"Whatever you feel you need to do. It's your life."
"I'm asking for advice," I sighed.
"And I'm giving it. Do what you feel you need to. If you want to break up, then break up. If you want to continue the way you are now, then do that. If you want to talk with Riley and make some changes, then do that."
"Yea, thanks. You haven't told me anything I don't already know. Can you wake Jonah up now?"
"No, I can't, and he would tell you the same thing. Don't be a whiney little fag and made a decision. Let things stay as they are or make a change," Michael said.
"Are you just being bitchy because I woke you up?" I complained.
"Probably, but the advice would be the same. Now I'm going back to sleep," Michael said and hung up the phone. Bastard.
*** [ Friday, 5/3/02 ]
"Hey. You look really hot," Riley smiled as I opened the door.
"Thanks. I feel like I'm being choked, but you look hot, too," I said and gave him a quick kiss while tugging at my collar. "I don't know why people wear tuxes. It's like some kind of torture device."
"Yea, but it makes almost anyone look good."
"Almost. Are you ready to go?"
"I'd rather stay home, but you know that. We're gonna be the only gay couple at a prom. Could we stick out any more?" Riley tried.
"Out and proud. Remember? It's not going to be like QAF or anything. It'll be cool."
"I wasn't even thinking about that. Thanks for making me paranoid now," Riley groaned.
"It's not even going to be an issue. What will be an issue, though, is..."
There was a flash and I turned to glare at my mom.
"You look very handsome, Riley. Just a few pictures and then you two can go," Mom said.
I gave Riley a look and rolled my eyes. He seemed to think it was kinda funny, especially since his dad hadn't made a fuss at all. It took forever before she was done and finally drove us to the prom.
I really wanted the prom to be nice and to dance with Riley all night. It didn't happen. His hesitance at being out came back and he would only do one slow dance. It's not like we were the only gay couple there -- there was one other. Still, it bugged me. I didn't make a big deal out of it, but I did let him know I was upset. I thought about the conversations I've had with Michael and Gareth and even that David guy, who now IM'd me whenever I was online, about how to get Riley to relax. I'm pretty sure I love Riley, but hiding away from everyone and everything was getting to me. I decided that tomorrow at Six Flags would be the deciding point. If he refused to hold hands or ducked away from a kiss, then I'd break up with him.
*** [ Saturday ]
"Why are we on a bus at 8AM on a Saturday again?" I mumbled with my eyes closed and leaned against Riley.
"Huh?" Riley started and looked around.
"Nevermind," I said and squeezed his hand. He relaxed again and slumped against me.
Apparently lots of other schools were having their prom around the same time because the parking lot at Six Flags had tons of busses and large groups of kids already heading for the gates. The chaperones gave their announcements and then let us go. Everyone was still kinda sleepwalking and Riley held my hand at first, but let go and put a "respectable" amount of distance between us when we got to the gate and were around a bunch of other people. I tried to grab his hand again, but he shrugged away and gave me an annoyed look to not make a scene. I almost screamed that we were fags just to piss him off. Instead, I ignored him and went to stand near Brandon. Brandon was still ignoring me, but I knew it would piss Riley off.
It did. He walked over and pushed himself between me and Brandon. Ha! Jealousy overcomes fear. He wouldn't hold my hand, but at least he stood next to me without being two feet away.
"What?! What's wrong with you today?" Riley complained.
"I think we should take a break," I said.
"You're hungry? We just ate?"
"No. We should take a break. From us."
Riley grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a park bench, away from everyone else.
"You want to break up?" He asked once we were alone, tears starting in his eyes.
"I think we need to."
"Why do we need to? Did you find someone else? Did you decide you really don't love me?"
"Yes, I still love you. No, I didn't find someone else. We need to break up 'cause this isn't healthy. It's very co-dependant, and you can't see it. We're still young and should be out doing stuff and hanging out with friends. You seem to think that since you've got a boyfriend you can stop living."
"I'm not stopping living. I'm living with you. I don't care about the rest of the world and I don't want to deal with the looks and comments. I just want you and me, together. Why is that so wrong?"
"It's not wrong, it's just not right."
"That doesn't make any sense."
I sighed. "You're not comfortable being out yet. It still makes you really nervous. Believe it or not, but I get that way, too, but I know it's stupid and want to get past it. I want to go out and just be myself without worrying about what other people are saying. I have to do that. It makes me feel better."
"But it makes me feel worse," Riley said softly.
"I know. That's the problem."
"This is about Adam and Chris and everyone, isn't it? That I don't want to hang out with them with you?"
"Kinda. Of anyone, you should feel comfortable being together around them, but you don't. Why? I mean, you were doing okay when you were just trying to get me to date you, but once we started dating it's like everything took a giant step backwards."
"It's not a step backwards. You're my boyfriend. Everyone knows that. I don't deny that. We've also gone to the gay community center," Riley protested.
"Yea, but you only show any kind of affection when we're alone or around other gay guys. I'm not talking about making out in front of people, but I am talking about being close or holding hands or anything that any straight couple would do normally in public without being freaky."
"We're not straight. Why do you want to act like them?"
"The only thing I'm acting like is that I'm not ashamed of my relationship with a guy -- and I'm not acting. That is the only thing I want like straight couples. I want to be with the person I'm with without constantly being aware that we're different and may offend some bigots."
"Then you're living in a fantasy world. The real world isn't like that. If you do anything outside of the normal then you have to worry about bigots."
"You have to be aware of them, but you don't have to live your life in fear of them."
"No, but you don't have to make yourself a target, either."
"Since when is holding hands in a public place in a large city, surrounded by your friends, making yourself a target?"
"It's not. We've held hands in public."
"Rarely, and then even earlier today you let go of my hand and pulled away when we got around other people."
"'Cause we were around people we didn't know."
"And also around fifty people we did know. Did you think someone would see us holding hands and it would cause a riot? The most that would happen is someone asshole would make a few comments."
"It's all just so easy for you, isn't it?" Riley snapped.
"Compared to you, yea, it is. I try to act like I'm normal. You act like you think you're a criminal and always have to be careful or you'll get caught. It's easier for me 'cause I don't think I'm doing anything wrong."
"I don't either, but the rest of the world does. When we're in public we have to worry about what the rest of the world thinks."
"No we don't."
"We do if we don't want to get attacked."
I sighed. "This is pointless. We're breaking up. End of story," I said and walked away. Riley started to follow me, and then sat back down.
I didn't turn back to see what he was doing. He didn't join up with everyone and I got a few stares from people wondering where Riley was and why I was grumpy. I told Chris that we'd broken up when he asked, but that was it. Thankfully, he left it alone at that. When it was time to go home I found Riley sleeping in the bus where we were sitting before. If there was anywhere else to sit, I would have. The ride home was awkward, to say the least. We didn't say a word to each other.
As soon as I got home I checked to see if Gareth was online -- he wasn't. David wasn't, either, and no one answered at Jonah's. I laid down to take a nap and try to forget about Riley. Easier said than done.
Adam woke me up an hour or so later.
"What? What are you doing here?" I groaned, still not awake.
"You broke up with Riley?" He asked.
"Yea. Today. How'd you find out?" I yawned and stretched.
"Because he called me and bitched me out. Asked me if I was happy now."
"What'd you say?"
"I told him I had nothing to do with it and he's a freak for calling and bitching to me."
"I wish he wouldn't be like that. I wonder who else he called."
"Probably Chris, at least."
"No. Chris was at the park with us. He would have bitched him out in person."
"So what happened? Why'd you finally break up?"
"I've been thinking about it. I decided that if he pulled away at the park I was going to break up then. He did. I told him we needed to take a break. We argued. He disappeared and I went back to the rides with everyone else," I shrugged, feeling a headache coming on.
"That's cold."
"What is?"
"To break up the day after the prom while you're still at the after party, and then going on like nothing happened."
"I didn't go on like nothing happened," I snapped. "It's not easy for me, either. Why are you defending him?"
"I'm not. I'm just saying that you were kinda cold to do it when you did. You could have, at least, waited until you got home and told him in private."
"I was going to, but he kept asking me why I was being grumpy. I told him. Listen. I appreciate you coming over, but I really don't want to talk about it -- at least not now."
"Yea, okay. What about his dad? Do you think he'll make things difficult for you since you broke up with his son? He is the principal."
"I don't know. I doubt it. He pretty much agrees with me that Riley needs to stop hiding. He probably saw it coming."
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Comments welcomed and encouraged. jm_stories@yahoo.com or aim:jmstories Please put the story title in the subject line or my spam filter will eat it. If I don't reply within two weeks, then you've been eaten, or I'm just really slow and will get back to you when the next chapter comes out. Most likely, I'm just slow.