Just Together

Disclaimer: This story is fiction. It makes no claims to the true personality or sexuality of anyone involved. You already know if you shouldn't be reading this.

------------------ Just Together by jm_stories ------------------

Chapter XXIV

-=-=-=-=- Jonah -=-=-=-=-

*** [ Fri, Jan 11, 2002 ]

"Hey, Jonah," Scott said as he walked in the door.

"Hey," I said, not looking up. The building was finally all drawn, but I was having a hell of a time figuring out how to divide up the floors. Unless I went with the long, narrow and horrible apartments that were there originally, someone would be without a front view. There wasn't a way around it. One apartment would have to be in the back with only the windows in the air shaft -- or whatever the hell you'd call the bump-in that was open to the sky and the alley.

"Hey, man," another guy said. I turned to look who it was. Chris Holden, another slavecrafter -- though I hadn't had him on my crew yet.

"Hey, Chris," I said.

"Still working on the plans?" Scott teased as he came up behind me and looked at the screen.

"Of course."

"What show are you designing?" Chris asked.

"It's not a show. It's a theater and apartment building," I answered.

"Shit, man. Please tell me that's not what senior projects are," Chris joked.

"Nope. This is for my building. My boyfriend bought it and I get to fix it up."

"Oh. Sorry," Chris said.

"Sorry about what?"

"Um... I mean... I didn't know you had a BOYfriend. I didn't know you were, you know...gay."

"That's okay. I did," I dismissed.

"You should see the building. It's totally cool and right across the street from Prospect Park. It's gonna be killer," Scott said.

"Hopefully someday," I said and stared at the plans on the screen, hoping for some sort of inspiration.

"So, your, um, boyfriend must be rich, huh?" Chris asked.

"No. Just got a good deal."

"Have you eaten? We're gonna order some pizza and work on a scene for Acting. You want some?" Scott asked.

"Yea. I'll go in with you. I'll have a..."

"An artichoke-parmesan. Yea, I know," Scott interrupted.

"Yep."

"Are we going to disturb you if we work on the scene out here?"

"Only if it involves a lot of screaming. What's the scene? What show?"

"The beginning scene from ACT III of 'Rhinoceros' by Ionesco."

"That should be okay," I said and set my PowerBook aside, going back to tracing paper over the plans and a pen.

"Okay. I'll order the pizza. You can sit down and relax, Chris," Scott said.

"Oh, yea. Sorry," Chris said. He seemed to be a bit uncomfortable.

"So where are you from, Chris?" I asked as sketched. Mindless banter is always a good distraction. Sometimes the more you concentrate on a problem the harder it gets.

"Bangor, Maine."

"Ah. So are you enjoying the tropical New York winter?" I joked.

"Not quite tropical, but, yea, warmer than Bangor," Chris chuckled.

"Any brothers or sisters?"

"Yea. Four brothers. I'm the youngest."

"Any good theatre in Bangor?"

"Not a lot, but some. Mostly at the College or the University."

"So why'd you come here instead of someplace close to home?"

"Are you kidding? NYU is the place to be for theatre."

"There's also Yale and Northwestern as far as the big schools on this side of the country."

"I couldn't afford Yale even if I wanted to go there. Here you have the whole city and stuff going on. Why'd you choose NYU? Where are you from?"

"I'm from Chicago -- just down the street from Northwestern. I choose NYU because I wanted to get film experience as well. NYU's film is stronger than Northwestern's."

"Yea, except you hate film work," Scott said after he hung up the phone.

"I didn't know that until I'd done it."

"Why do you hate film work?" Chris asked.

"There isn't much art in film lighting -- at least not very often. Most of the time it's light the scene and make it look real. The cinematographer has more control over the lighting than the lighting designer. For film you're basically a glorified gaffer."

"What, exactly, is a gaffer?"

"Yea. I'd like to know that, myself," Scott added.

"Depends on the production. Basically a dumbed-down electrician. Electrics need moved or plugged-in, the gaffer does it. Cables in the way, the gaffer moves them or tapes them down. The cinematographer says do, the gaffer does," I explained.

"Okay. How about a grip?" Chris asked.

"That's the person who holds the cables for cameras and such. Basically, the grip holds things so they don't get tangled up."

"Fancy titles for lackeys," Scott laughed.

"That's what film is about. Don't forget the best boy," I said.

"What does he hold?" Chris joked.

"That's the gopher," Scott said.

"Have you done a lot of film work?" Chris asked.

"Not really. Just some student films, and working 'Dawson's Creek' for the summer production season. Student films are more interesting because you actually get to do something creative."

"What is the class where you learn all the names of all the jobs on a film?"

"I don't know. I don't think there is one. It's just one of those things you're supposed to pick up through experience."

"Great," Chris groaned. "They seem to do that for everything here. Just throw you in. Sink or swim."

"It works. You don't just get thrown in. Some of that is why you have stagecraft. You learn by doing. After a year of stagecraft you'll likely have encountered all the usual things at least once."

"What would you call an unusual thing?" Scott asked.

"Um... Hangings are pretty rare..."

"You've hung someone on stage before?" Chris asked.

"No. Not on stage," I said with a serious face. "Just kidding. Yea, I've helped with a couple hangings -- though only two here. They were all different and required different techniques. Anyway, flying is pretty rare as well. Um... anything with real fire or large bodies of water. None of it is stuff you'll encounter in 95% of productions," I said.

"You get that all from working on productions here?" Chris asked.

"Some of it. Some of it from working other places. You know you're pretty much expected to work summer stock unless you're taking summer classes, right?"

"Uh, I do now."

"It's not a requirement, but you'll be behind and lacking in experience if you don't."

"You should have already told me all of this," Scott said. "What good is living with an upperclassman when you won't tell me these things."

"You never asked. I did save your ass on your final model, didn't I?"

"Yea, okay," Scott conceded.

"Oh yea. That was a killer model, you bastard. It made everyone else's look like shit," Chris complained.

"Mine did at first, too. Then Jonah was all, like, 'you're not gonna turn THAT in for your final, are you?'" Scott laughed.

"And Susan jumped all over my ass for making you do it right. Apparently you're supposed to do it crappy so she can yell at you," I said. "It's part of her plan."

"She really yelled at you?" Scott asked.

"No. Not really. She just complained that I stole some of her fire."

"I don't know why she thinks that. She still yelled at the rest of the class, and now she'll expect perfection from me since I live with you," Scott said.

"She expects perfection from everyone all the time. Don't think you're special," I countered.

"But Mommy told me I'm special," Scott joked.

"Only to your mommy," I replied.

"Yea, she said that, too," he shrugged.

"So why are you doing a scene from 'Rhinoceros'? That's not really a good acting class scene, except for comedy."

"We could pick what we wanted for the first one. I like 'Rhinoceros'. It's hilarious," Scott said.

"Yea, but the scene you're doing isn't all that funny. It's more overly dramatic."

"It's longer with only two characters. Most of the rest of the scenes have more characters."

"Okay. I still think it's an odd choice," I shrugged.

"Who are you to call anyone else odd?" Scott smirked.

"Out of one rehearsal and right into another," Michael groaned as he walked in.

"They're almost done," I said and motioned for him to come sit next to me on the sofa. Scott and Chris ignored him and continued the scene.

Michael took off his jacket and shoes before flopping down on the sofa, dropping his head in my lap.

"Hey! Take it easy on the fragile bits," I complained as I just barely caught his head in my hands before he racked me.

"Sorry," he said and pulled me down to give me a kiss. "How was your day?"

"Nothing special," I shrugged. "You?"

"Rehearsal was annoying, boring and dragged on. The elevator is working now."

"Great. What's the damage?"

"$500. It was pretty simple, so the guy said."

"Anything else? Did he inspect it?"

"Some suggestions on things we can have done to make it quieter, but he said it was safe to use. We have to have it inspected by the city before we can open it to general use."

"Yea. I figured."

"Oh, we have an appointment with the bank on Tuesday. 9AM. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Yea. Any hints?"

"Nope. We have to fill out paperwork before they'll say anything. Got the plans done yet?" He teased.

"Not even close. I was sketching earlier, but I'm brain dead on it for tonight."

"Are we still pulling up the floor tomorrow?"

"Yea. We want radiant heat floors and it'll have to come up for that. We'll try to save it, though."

"We can use it to redeck the stage."

"Why? It'll just get torn up with all the screws and paint and everything else."

"Yea, okay. Maybe in the lobby."

"That would look nice, except in front of the doors. It'll be too slick, especially when wet," I said.

"Are you going to accept any of my suggestions, or just piss on everything?" He complained.

"I'm not pissing on your suggestions, I'm just bringing up all the ramifications. If I offer you a suggestion you should try to show me any problems or benefits that I haven't seen, same thing I do to your suggestions. I'm not trying to dismiss you."

"Yea, okay. I'm gonna get a glass of wine. You want one?" He said as he sat up.

"Yea. Thanks."

He returned a few minutes later and handed me my glass before sitting down next to me.

"Anything for me to look at on the plans?" Michael asked.

"No. I'm not any further than I was last night. I have pretty much reached the conclusion that there will have to be one apartment in back without any view."

"Why not just have it like it was originally?"

"Would you want to live in an apartment that was only 12' wide?"

"I have, and only 10' deep."

"Exactly. As soon as I put walls in it makes it seem really cramped. I'd probably only get one bedroom in."

"They need to be two bedrooms."

"I know. That's what I'm still working on."

"What about our space?"

"Still trying to figure out how to have our bedroom in a loft in front of the front windows and still have the living room there without it looking stupid."

"Did you look at a 3D view?"

"Yea. It looked heavy and dark. It would probably look a little better if we didn't have any walls, but..."

"We need to have walls."

"Yep. So...I'm still working on it."

"They both act like techs," Michael commented on Scott and Chris' efforts.

"I know. I tried to help them a little earlier, but they're still too wooden."

"What's the show?"

"'Rhinoceros' by Ionesco. Scott's character, Berenger, is supposed to be very upset and a bit frantic."

"Who cast it?"

"They did, I think."

"You two need to switch characters. You're too calm, Scott, and..."

"Chris," I offered.

"Yea. Chris is more emotional. Try it swapped," Michael completed.

"I already have my lines almost memorized," Scott complained.

"When do you perform it?" Michael asked.

"Wednesday."

"Plenty of time. Just humor me and try it once."

Scott and Chris swapped scripts -- so the highlighted lines would be correct -- and started the scene. After a few false starts until they figured out who they were, they finally made it through the scene. Still not good, but better with Chris in the emotional role.

"That was better. Keep working on it and don't be afraid to over-act. It's easier to back off a little than push a little," Michael said.

"Why didn't you offer that solution, Jonah? I thought you were supposed to be a big-shot director?" Scott teased.

"I didn't realize changing the casting was an option. I was working with what I had," I shrugged. "Beyond that, it's for an acting class, so you should do stuff that pushes you. Michael thought about it as a production and made the quick change to fix an obvious problem."

"If you should have it the other way for class, then switch it back," Michael said.

"No. We can do whatever. I'd rather have it be good. It's our first scene," Scott said.

Chris just looked at Michael with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Chris?" Michael asked.

"Oh, um, sorry. I'm just trying to figure out where I've seen you before. I'm sure I've seen you before," Chris said.

"Have you seen 'Hedwig'?" Michael asked.

The light went on. "Holy shit! Yea. Oh my god..."

Scott gave him a light shove and a look to shut him up.

"Oh... Um, sorry. I just, um, wasn't expecting...um..."

"Forget it and chill out," Michael said and drained the rest of his glass of wine. "You ready for bed?" He asked me.

"I have more reading to do, but I can do it in bed."

We cleaned up and then went to our room. Michael sighed heavily as he flopped down on the bed after getting undressed.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Nothing in particular. Just feeling...melancholy, I guess."

"Ennui?"

"Je ne sais pas," he shrugged.

I climbed into bed and got situated with my book. Michael snuggled up to me and was asleep in minutes.

*** [ Sat 1/12/02 ]

"How about this one?" Michael said and held up a saw. We were at the local Home Depot getting a few tools to tear up the dance floor.

"That's for housewives, not for doing work," I snorted.

"It's half the price of the one you're looking at."

"'Cause it's a piece of shit. It'll break. Good tools are worth spending the money on."

"It does have a one year warranty. Same as yours."

"And you'll need it. It's not going to be any good to us if it's always in for repairs."

"Okay. You're the tool man," he shrugged and put the crap down. "What was the other saw we needed?"

"A circular saw," I said and pointed down the isle to the display for them.

"Get the most expensive one?"

"No. Get the best one for what we need."

"Okay. I'll let you pick that one, too. Anything I can get?"

"Yea. Get three large crow-bars, the three-foot ones. A couple pry-bars too, I guess. A couple hammers -- no, I'll pick those. A box of dust masks. A couple packs of leather work gloves. Trash cans. Push brooms. Um...am I forgetting anything?" I said as I looked over my list.

"Unlikely. I'll go get another cart," Michael grunted and walked off.

I know he's feeling useless, but he's gonna have to get over it. He doesn't know anything about tools or construction. I do. I picked the saws I wanted, a couple good hammers and then looked for Michael. He was trying to decide which gloves to get.

"What? No black leather gloves?" I whispered in his ear as I walked up behind him.

"I should have known there was a special kind to get that you didn't tell me."

"I'm teasing. Don't get pissy."

"I'm not."

"Uh huh. We're gonna have to talk about this sometime soon."

"What? I told you. I'm not being pissy."

"Yea, you are. You're being pissy because I know more about building than you do and you're feeling useless. Correct me if it's something else," I said.

"That, and that you don't listen to my suggestions. It's OUR building, not YOURS."

"Haven't I run everything by you? Haven't you been part of every major decision?"

"You've informed me of decisions, not made me part of them," Michael countered.

"Like what?"

"Like pulling up the dance floor and where to put it after."

"Didn't you say you wanted radiant floor heat?"

"Yea, but I also want that floor. I saw in some of the magazines that some companies have stuff you can put under the floor instead of on top."

"That's for wood framed floors, not concrete floors."

"See? All you had to do was explain that."

"You never brought it up. How am I supposed to know what to explain? Besides, you get defensive when I explain everything."

"Fine. What about where to put it afterwards?"

"If you want to put it in the lobby then fine. I don't care that much about it. I just told you that it would be slick when it's wet so we'd have to have the isles covered with rugs or something. Do I have to agree with everything you suggest and never point out any potential problems? Do you want me to lie to you?"

"Forget it. We're not going to resolve this," Michael huffed and threw a pack of gloves in his basket.

"Not with that attitude. Instead of bitching and being pissy, why don't you focus on something you can do? Check building codes. Research building materials. Sound proofing techniques and materials. Floor types. Cabinets. Security systems. There's tons of shit you can do."

"And then have you tell me it's all wrong."

"You'll be the one doing the research. It should tell you good and bad. Give me some choices. If you want to be helpful, then be helpful. Arguing over little shit this early into it, we won't make it through it together."

"You would break up over this?"

"If we were at each other's throats for the next however many years? I think we'd both be running. It happens to lots of couples and it's caused by arguing over little shit and not willing to compromise. The little things add up."

"Your boyfriend is right. I divorced my first husband while we were doing a major remodel. It's stressful and I'd never go through it again," a woman who overheard us said.

"Yea, I know. He's always right. It's annoying as hell," Michael stated. The woman gave us an embarrassed look and walked away. It seemed like she was afraid of getting in the middle of our argument more than she already had.

"Why don't you save the drama for your performances. You're acting like you want to have an argument no matter what," I snapped.

"I like the make-up sex," he shrugged. "And don't tell me I'm being dramatic. Just because you don't see it or don't agree doesn't mean I'm being dramatic."

"I thought you just said I was always right?" I countered.

"Except when it comes to anything concerning yourself -- there you are as clueless as the rest of us mortals."

"Whatever," I sighed and pushed my cart to the checkout line. He would argue as long as I argued back. I was done, for now.

"So how do we start, oh man-with-the-plan?" Scott smirked after we got all the supplies upstairs.

I walked around to find the best place to cut into the floor that wouldn't destroy anything good. I decided to go with the middle where some of the boards were cut away for the old bathrooms that had been there.

"Over here," I said and unpacked the circular saw and put on the blade. Michael unpacked the reciprocating saw and started reading the instructions, probably just to be doing something. After I had the saw ready I plugged it in, set the depth, and made two cuts the width of the building, sacrificing that board to be able to get the others up.

"This is gonna suck, isn't it?" Scott asked.

"Probably," I said and grabbed a crow-bar. With Scott's help I finished ripping out the sacrificed board. The sleepers were real 2x4, when the dimensions were actually that.

"Which direction first?" Scott asked.

"Let's go towards the stairs first. Michael. Can you grab the other crow-bar and start on that end?"

"Yea," he sighed, still being a bit pissy.

"Okay. Just slide the end of the crow-bar under and push down so you're in the center of the board. Hopefully we'll be able to save most of this," I said. "Just a little bit at a time at each sleeper."

"What the fuck is a sleeper?" Michael snapped.

"It's the board that the flooring is nailed in to," I explained and tapped one of them, resisting the urge to tap him on the head as well.

"Then why didn't you just call it the board it's nailed to?"

"Because I'm just trying to make you feel stupid," I snapped. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Um, I think I'm gonna take a walk," Scott said and tried to leave.

"Don't worry about it. We need to get the floor up, and Michael would rather just bitch about every perceived slight -- real or imagined."

"That's right. Just ignore me and I'll give up," Michael said sarcastically.

"I don't even know what the hell you're fighting about. You're arguing just to argue. Give me a script so I can follow along," I shot back.

"You know exactly what I'm arguing about. I'm pissed at you taking over and making all the decisions for OUR building."

"As opposed to YOU making all the decisions about OUR building? Or should we make a decision tally sheet to make sure one person isn't making more decisions than the other?"

"Fuck you. You're doing the floor plans..."

"And I show them to you every night and ask for your thoughts."

"And you dismiss them."

"What am I dismissing? Tell me."

"I said I wanted our bedroom in a loft."

"And I agreed and said I would work on it," I sighed.

"It's not in the plans yet."

"They're not done. Just because you can say you want something doesn't mean I can fit it in the instant you ask. This is stupid. I already SUGGESTED that you should focus on the stuff you can do. Find a fuckin' contractor to do the HVAC stuff. Find a floor you like that can be put over a radiant heat floor. Do the materials research. You can do that and it would be a great help. It's not busy work. It's work that someone has to do. You'll have just as much, if not more, to do with the planning of the spaces than I will. So stop bitching about me doing what I'm good at and start doing what you're good at," I started talking, built up to almost yelling, and then gave him a hard kiss at the end to shut him up.

"Okay," Michael shrugged after the kiss and went to pick up a crow-bar.

Scott gave us a confused look.

"Never date an actor," I said to Scott and went to the other side to start prying up the floor.

"Can't be any worse than dating someone who knows everything," Michael shot back.

"I'm not even gonna get involved," Scott said cautiously and grabbed his crow bar.

"Chicken," Michael teased.

"That's me."

It took all day to pull up the floor -- pulling apparent nails as we went. Michael left for rehearsal at four with more than a few scrapes on his arms and probably a bruised toe or two. He didn't bitch -- much -- each time something happened. Scott and I didn't finish until around midnight.

"I'm grungy with 100 year old dust," Scott complained as we walked into our apartment.

"The building is only around 75 years old."

"Close enough. I've got the shower first."

"Go ahead. Michael should be home soon and I'll shower with him," I said.

"Oh yea. What was up with him this morning?"

"I don't know. He just gets in moods every once in a while where he wants to argue about everything."

"Must be on the rag," Scott smirked as he walked into the bathroom.

"No comment."

Michael got home about a half-hour later.

"Hey," he said and started to lean in to kiss me, stopping when he got close. "Dirty boy," he cringed and pulled back.

"We just got home and I was waiting for you," I said. "How's your foot?"

"It hurts, but I don't think I broke anything. It'll be fine."

"When was your last tetanus shot?"

"I don't remember. Why?"

"You should probably get one soon if you're gonna be helping."

"Thanks for the confidence," he said sarcastically.

"It's being practical. Accidents happen."

"I'll be fine."

"I know, 'cause you're gonna get one or I'm not going to let you get near anything with a sharp edge."

"Yes, Dad," he groaned. "Let's take a shower. You really need one."

*** [ Monday, 1/14/02 ]

"Hey. Come check this out," I said to Michael as he walked in the door. It was just past midnight.

"Hey. What's up?" He said sleepily and gave me a kiss on the cheek before looking at the screen.

"I think I've got it all worked out -- at least our space," I said and minimized the view so he could see the full plan.

"I don't get it. What happened to the living room? Or our bedroom?"

"Lofts. I was trying to keep the living room in front and have our bedroom in a loft in front and it just didn't work. If I put our bedroom in a loft in front, with a bath and bedroom below, and then put the living room in a loft in back under the skylights, with the dining room below, it works out," I explained.

"Weird. Can I see a 3D version?"

"Yea. I already saved a few out," I said and pulled up the renderings from a couple different views. He flipped between a few of them before saying anything.

"So how big does that make our bedroom?"

"Um... Roughly 25 feet by 12 feet. A king size bed fits between the half-round windows and the floor will be about an inch below the window frame. We can have built-ins on the sides instead of closets."

"Do you have a 3D version of that view?"

"Not yet, but I'll set one up. So?"

"I like it. It makes it feel open, but fits everything in. Only two bedrooms?"

"I'm working on it. I'm thinking about bumping this out and putting two bedrooms here -- one up and the other down," I said and drew a quick box showing where I was thinking the rooms would go.

"That'll probably work. Let me see it when you have it done. I'm gonna take a shower and then go to bed. Join me?"

"Yea. Go ahead. I'll be there in a few minutes. Let me get a few more things in before I forget them."

"Okay," he said and went to our room.

A few minutes later he put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you coming to bed?"

"Yea. In a few minutes."

"It's already been a half-hour. It can wait until tomorrow. Take a shower and come to bed."

I turned to look at him. He was naked and his hair was wet.

"Sorry. Lost track of the time. You look delicious," I smiled and kissed his belly.

"Thanks. Now take your shower and come to bed," he said and reached over to hit "Save" and closed the screen, putting my PowerBook to sleep.

"Are you going to be awake when I get out?" I asked suggestively.

"If you hurry up," he mumbled and went to our room...

I wasn't fast enough and he was sound asleep when I joined him.

*** [ Tuesday, 1/15/02 ] (27) "Monsters" opens for Michael + bank

"You're coming to the preview opening tonight, right?" Michael asked me as we got dressed to go to the bank.

"What time does it start?"

"Eight."

"Yea. I'll be there. Can you tape a note on my PowerBook to remind me so I don't get caught up and miss it?"

"I'll call, too. Do I look corporate enough?" He asked.

"As much as you're going to without wearing a real suit and tie. You should probably tie your hair back."

"Yea, stupid bankers," he grumbled and went to the bathroom.

We made it to the bank on time and, surprisingly, didn't have to wait very long. After lots of forms and applications and talking, the end result was a two-million dollar line of remodeling credit, with my trust fund and the building as collateral. Final approval was held until the plans were approved and permits issued. The possibility of owing that much money, or losing everything, made me very tense. Michael just shrugged it off.

I did remember to make it to the show that night. Michael played a couple characters -- one of them being a cat. I teased him that no one would believe I was in love with a pussy.

I worked on the plans every chance I got, and it was still early in the semester so I had more time than I would otherwise. By the end of the week I had the lower apartments designed -- the third and fourth floors being identical -- and some details on the top floor sorted out. Scott asked about a space for laundry in the apartments, so I had to go back and add that in. And then a few more closets. And storage space. And space for the mechanicals to run. It ended up being Sunday night before I was finally done and ready to meet with the architect I'd found to check over everything on Monday.

*** [ Monday, 1/21/02 ]

"May I help you?" The secretary asked as I walked into the architects' office.

"Hi. I'm Jonah Mars. I have an appointment with Brendan Fuhrbringer."

"Have a seat and I'll let him know you're here."

I didn't have to wait long before Brendan walked out and greeted me. He was probably in his late 50's and had long white hair that was pulled back into a pony tail.

"Jonah?"

"That's me. How are you?" I said and stood up to shake his hand.

"Great. Come on back," he said and lead me back to his office. "So. Show me what you've got."

I handed him the stack of renderings and unrolled the plans I'd printed at a copy shop.

"Interesting... Hmm..." He muttered to himself as he looked over the renderings and compared them to the plans before studying the plans more closely. After about 20 minutes he finally spoke up.

"You seem to be obsessed with pocket doors," Brendan smiled.

"Saves space and my partner wanted them," I answered.

"Why all the lofts instead of just taking the whole top floor for the main apartment and enjoying the vertical space?"

"Just to get another apartment in. Different levels are nice as well. Even if we took the whole space I'd want the master bedroom in a loft in front of those windows."

"Yep. That'll be a nice space. No closets, though."

"I'm planning on doing built-ins. They're just not on the plans yet."

"Ah. What about a master bath?"

"We don't need a private bath and it just worked out better to put it below."

"It would make it a better selling point to have a private master bath."

"We're going to live in it for a long time, so I'm not concerned about that for the big apartment. I think the other apartments are too small to have two bathrooms. Well, I could have put in two tiny bathrooms, but I chose one larger one."

"Everything is a trade-off."

"I know," I groaned. "It was a challenge trying to make the spaces decent. Do you see any major problems that will prevent me from getting the plans approved?"

"Nothing that jumps out. Seems that you've done your homework. Were you planning on submitting everything at once?" He asked.

"Yea. Is that a bad idea?"

"How big of a crew are you going to have working on it?"

"You're looking at him," I smiled.

"You're kidding."

"Nope. I'll hire contractors for some stuff like the HVAC and plumbing, but I can do the rest. I have a couple people who can help me when I need it."

"Must be nice to still be young," Brendan chuckled. "Anyway. Since it's going to go slower, and plans change anyway, I'd recommend submitting it floor by floor. The permit is only good for six months, so you'll be wasting money if you have more approved than you can build out in that time."

"I thought you just had to start within six months?"

"True, but they'll consider each floor and each apartment separately. You'll be much better off getting approvals as you go."

"They'll let me do that? I can still get a certificate of occupancy on the top floor even if the lower levels are unfinished?" I asked.

"It's not a problem. The most you would have to do is have a construction barricade around anything unsafe."

"Okay. Do you see anything that you'd recommend doing differently?"

"There are always a million ways to do everything," Brendan smirked.

"One or two ideas would be sufficient, thanks," I shot back.

"Okay. Why did you put the kitchen where you did?"

"Because it works. It's close to the entrance when bringing things in, but not so you have to walk through it. It's also right next to the dining area. Why?"

"Just because it makes your placement of the stairs to the living room loft awkward. If you swapped them -- put the stairs against the bathroom wall, and put the kitchen on the outside wall -- it would flow better," he said and threw a piece of tracing paper over the plans, sketching what he was talking about. "It makes the kitchen the focus, which I'm assuming you want."

"Mostly. I want it to be open to the other spaces so we can talk to people when cooking."

"Exactly. If you have it over here you can see who comes in without them sneaking up behind you. It also keeps the counters back from the loft -- less chance of stuff accidentally dropping into dinner. Not to mention that it'll be easier to vent the stove directly to the outside."

"Okay. What about the refrigerator? Putting it over there puts a window on either side. No place to put the refrigerator."

"You don't have to put the refrigerator at the end. Put it towards the middle. Now your triangle is smaller and you keep the window. It's not as much light as if nothing was there, but it's an air shaft window, anyway. You could also just close up half of it. Fill it with glass block."

"Or just pull the counter back from the window a foot or two," I thought aloud.

"That would work, too."

We talked for another hour or so and he gave me many options I hadn't considered. It was worth the money to have him look things over -- though now I'm going back to the drawing board on many detail things.

I started working on the changes when I got home from campus. Michael got home soon after I started.

"Hey. What'd the architect say?" Michael asked and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Where do you want to start?" I sighed teasingly.

"That bad?"

"No. Just lots to change."

"That's bad."

"Not too bad. All good things. Just better ways to do things, not show stoppers that had to change."

"Oh. Okay. I guess that is somewhat better. What are we changing?"

"First thing is he said we should submit the plans floor by floor instead of all at once because the permit is only valid for six months."

"And we can do that?"

"Yep. I just mark on the plans 'for future development' or something. So, the big plan change is the kitchen and dining room," I said and spread out the sketches Brendan and I had played with. "The stairs to the loft work better if we put them over here, and the kitchen on this side. That also makes it better to put the dining room where the library was and put the library under the living room loft."

Michael looked at the sketches for a minute. "I guess it does make more sense and works better that way. I agree. What else? Oh, wait. What about my practice room?"

"Shit," I sighed. "Basement?"

"I guess. It would be nice if it was in our place."

"I know, but can you see where to put it? Remember that it would have to have double walls and floors so it doesn't disturb anyone."

"I guess the basement is better, then -- no one to hear it except in the lobby or theater."

"We'll soundproof the hell out of it. Any particular room?" I asked and flipped the plans to the basement.

"Um... I guess not. Whatever works."

"Do you think you'll ever want a band to play there?"

"Definitely."

"Okay. How about this one? It's larger and has a window so there can be some more ventilation."

"Yea, okay. As long as I don't have to hear traffic out on the street," Michael said.

"I'm sure there's a way around it. Maybe even put a small control booth in if you wanted to record."

"That'd be cool. You need to learn how to record so you can do it."

"And how to design a recording studio before that. Okay. That can happen after our apartment is done. As long as no one else is living here and there are no shows happening, it doesn't matter how loud you get. You could probably even just practice in the theater."

"You'd better believe it. I'm just waiting for it to warm up enough, or until we get heat -- whichever comes first."

"Have you started looking for a HVAC contractor?" I asked.

"Yea. I've talked to a couple. Can't get any bids until you have the plans done. Hint. Hint."

"Yea, yea. I'm working on it. What about materials, Mr. Research?"

"I'm working on it," he shot back. "Are you going to have everything done for next week?"

"Hopefully. I've got all week and can now focus on just the top floor."

"Yea, but don't just ignore the lower stuff. We don't have to submit the plans, but we should at least know what's going to be there so we can start trying to sell the spaces."

"We already have half of them sold."

"I'll believe it when I see a signature on a mortgage. Related to that, I'll need the plans with, at least, the individual apartments marked. It needs to be approved and then I need the lawyer to draw up the co-op paperwork for the spaces," Michael said.

"So, in other words, get my ass in gear and get everything done."

"Yep," he smiled. "I'd like to sell everything before we finish building -- or at least enough that we can break even."

"Ahhh. So the possibility of being in debt for $2 million has registered with you," I smirked.

"I try not to think about it, but yea. It's a ghetto-butt-load of money," Michael groaned.

"Yea, I know. How much do you think we can get for each apartment? Have you checked on what market rate is there?"

"A little. We should get at least $400 a square foot for park view apartments. Maybe more if we make them really nice."

"Not Manhattan prices, but not bad."

"We could try $2000 a square foot, but I don't think we'd sell any of them."

"How about we start at $400 a square foot and go up $50 a square foot for each apartment sold. Makes it seem exclusive and will motivate people to buy early," I smiled.

"That's evil. We should just have one price unless two people want the same place and want to bid on it."

"I was just kidding."

"I know. Now get back to work," he teased and gave me a quick kiss. "I'm going to the theater. Later," he said gave me another kiss before grabbing his bag and heading out the door again.

*** [ Sat, 1/26/02 ] Jonny talks with Jonah about riley & soccer.

"Hey kid. What's up?"

"Nothing much. Just called to say hi and see what's happening," Jonny said.

"Busy all the time, mostly. Michael has performances in the evening and I've been working on the plans whenever I can."

"What plans? For the theater?"

"Yep. For the apartments, mostly. The theater is going to pretty much stay as it is."

"And how's it going?"

"Slowly," I sighed. "I think I'm doing okay, but there are so many things to take into consideration and I don't know all the codes so I have to keep checking them and then fixing something, or someone mentions something I forgot to put in or take consideration of, and the same thing."

"Why don't you just have an architect do it?"

"Because it's cheaper if I do it. I had an architect check over it last week. He gave me a few ideas, but nothing that was a show-stopper. I need to finish everything up this weekend so I can make copies and turn them in to get a permit this week. I'd like to start by mid-February, at the latest."

"I guess you're gonna do all the building, too, right?"

"As much as I can."

"Can Michael build?"

"Nope."

"How about Scott? Is he gonna help?"

"He can build, as far as I know. He said he would help and has a little."

"What have you done already? I thought you didn't have the plans approved yet."

"We just pulled up the old dance floor on the top floor and cleaned up so we can start right away as soon as everything is approved. So enough of this. What's happening in the drama world of Jonny Mathias?" I teased.

"Bite me. Nothing much is happening. Had a soccer game today. We lost."

"By a lot, or just barely?"

"Just barely. All our really good players graduated last year."

"No one good is left? You're not any good?"

"I'm okay, but I'm not really good. I don't live and breath it. The really good players live and breath it. Adam is better than I am, but he's not obsessed with it. There's another new guy on the team who is pretty good, but I think he suffers from multiple personality disorder," Jonny said.

"Why's that? Who is it?"

"Riley. He's the principal's kid and just moved here this semester."

"Okay. So why is it he's whacked in the head?"

"I don't know. He's just so hot and cold all the time. His dad asked me to show him around the first day and we hung out and talked. He seemed to be having a bad day. I thought it was just because of his first day in a new school, but he's moody all the time."

"Did you tell him you're gay? Is he cute?"

"All the above. Well, it was more like I was hanging out with the guys after school at Wilder and someone asked me about Pasha. He got a bit phobey about it at first."

"But you think he's cute?"

"Yea," he sighed, "but it doesn't matter. He's straight and a phobe. It's weird 'cause he hangs out with me and my friends, but keeps making snide fag comments. I just don't understand that. If he's uncomfortable around me, then he should go somewhere else. He hangs out around me, but it's obvious that he's uncomfortable. Like I said, I think he's got a multiple personality disorder."

"Is he an ass all the time, or just flashes?"

"Just flashes. He'll be cool, and then out of the blue he makes some dumb ass remark like, 'Hey Jonny, have you ever considered a horse? They've got huge cocks. You fags like that, don't you?'"

"Uh, yea. Okay. He sounds like an idiot. That's not even remotely funny."

"I know. Everyone just looks at him, like, 'Dude, you need to stay on your medication,'" Jonny laughed.

"Definitely. Have you confronted him about it yet?"

"Not yet. If he doesn't chill out I'm going to. It's just annoying."

"I'd say do it sooner rather than later. You don't want him to get too much into a pattern. Anyway, any boyfriend prospects? Have you talked to Pasha, or are you still just in denial?" I asked.

"No, I'm not in denial. I just don't want to talk to him. He sent me the drawing he did of me with a note saying how he's sorry for being a piece of shit and still wants to be friends. I threw the note away."

"What about the drawing?"

"It's good and it makes me look pretty sexy. I'm gonna keep it. I can't really hang it up here, but I don't want to throw it away."

"Okay. No one else? You haven't been down to Horizons?"

"No and no. I don't want to go by myself and I haven't convinced Adam to go with me, yet. I think he's afraid of being in the minority."

"He's a cute kid, so he'd probably be hit on quite a bit."

"You think Adam's cute?" Jonny teased.

"He's a cute kid, just like you."

"I'll be sure to tell him you think so," he laughed.

"Whatever," I shrugged. "I'm not going to have sex with him, either."

"I bet you could if you tried, though. He liked you and Michael and you can be really seductive."

"Yea, right," I laughed. "Anyway. Moving on."

"I don't really have anything else. Just boring everyday life."

"Same here."

"I doubt it. You just ignore the exciting stuff," Jonny said. "No new celebrities? Nothing with Justin or Lance?"

"Nope. Nothing. Classes and working on the building. That's it."

"What about Scott?"

"Same thing, as far as I know. He hasn't talked about anything exciting. You're gonna have to make some excitement of your own," I teased.

"Thanks for nothing," he groaned. "Okay. I'll let you go back to your boring existence."

"And you back to yours. Later," I said and hung up.

-=-=-=-=- Jonny -=-=-=-=-

*** [ Saturday, 02/09/02 ]

"Our ride is here. We're going now," I yelled as we were heading out the door.

"Wait! You know the drill. I want to meet anyone you're riding with," Uncle Joe said as he appeared from the living room.

"Yea, okay. Just a sec.," I said and went to get Chris.

"Come on. Let's go. We're already late," Chris said as I opened the car door.

"You gotta come in and meet Uncle Joe first. House rules," I apologized.

"What for? I'm not taking you out on a date," Chris smirked.

"House rules. Anyone driving. Hurry up and let's get this over with."

Chris rolled his eyes, shut off his car and followed me back inside.

"Chris. Uncle Joe. And yes, you have to call him Uncle Joe -- even if you aren't related," I said.

Uncle Joe made a little bit of friendly interrogation small talk with stuff like, "Have you had any accidents?" and "Do you plan to drink tonight?". After promising to call for a ride if Chris had any alcohol, he finally let us go.

"Damn. I don't think I've ever had such a friendly interrogation," Chris laughed as we got in his car.

"Yea, I know he's weird, but at least he's not an asshole about it," I said.

"No, man. I think it's cool. My dad would just be, like, 'Don't fuck up 'cause I'll leave your ass in jail.'"

"If I got thrown in jail I'd want to stay there until my dad cooled down," Adam said.

"Dude-man, you make shit up so everyone won't know you live in 'Leave it to Beaver' land," I teased.

"Fuck you," Adam snapped back. "I don't live in 'Leave it to Beaver' land."

"Close enough. Your dad's a little boring, but even when I've heard him yell at you he's not mean."

"You haven't seen him really pissed off. He's got a really bad temper. That's where I get mine from."

"You have a bad temper?" Chris laughed at Adam. "I've never seen it."

"I've seen it once when he decked me, but he hits like a girl, so no worries there," I teased.

"You know, I could have stayed home and be abused by my sisters instead of going out to be abused by my friends," Adam pouted.

"Yea, but we abuse you 'cause we love you," I smiled. "They abuse you 'cause they despise you."

"Sorry, Dude-man, I just like you. It's not love," Chris smirked.

Matt's place was way out in the North 'burbs. I never asked him, but I'm sure he had to take the Metra to get to school -- even though it's probably only 10 miles away. He had a huge yard with a long driveway that lead back to a regular size older house. The driveway was packed with cars and Chris had to park on the side of the road in a snow drift.

"Shit," Chris grumbled as the car stopped and his wheels were still going.

"We stuck?" I asked.

"Yea. Fuck it. We're off the road. You guys will just have to push when we get back," Chris said and shut off the car.

"Don't you have some kitty litter or something in your trunk?" I asked.

"Yea. We'll deal with it later."

"Okay. It seems like everyone in school is here."

"They should be. He invited just about everyone," Chris stated.

The house was surprisingly not very crowded when we stepped inside -- just a few people sitting in the living room talking. The floor was vibrating, however, so everyone must be in the basement.

"Hey, guys. You made it," Matt said as we walked into the kitchen. "Everyone's downstairs. Pop and water up here. Beer downstairs. Just throw your coats on the bed in the first bedroom," he added and pointed to a hallway.

"Now you need to be dancing with the girls at this party and not playing with the boys," I teased Adam as we went to drop off our coats.

"No slutty college girls at this party. Only slutty high school girls," Chris smirked.

"Exactly. I'll play with the boys," I smiled.

"You're the only out butt-bandit here, so you'll probably just be playing with yourself -- as usual," Chris teased.

"How awful for you that there are so many girls here, and yet you'll be doing the same," I countered.

"Take what you can get," he shrugged.

"Are you going to drink any beer?" Adam asked me.

"No. He probably bought cheap crap," I said as we walked back into the kitchen.

"It's Bud," Matt said.

"Like I said."

"It's not cheap crap. What beer do you like?"

"None, really, but I had some Sam Adams stuff that wasn't bad. I like wine better," I said.

"Ohhh. Too high class for beer, huh?" Eric, another guy in the kitchen, said.

"No. I just like the taste better and it doesn't make me feel sick."

"Yea. The stuff we had at his house on Thanksgiving was really good," Adam said.

"Then why didn't you bring some wine?" Matt asked.

"It's expensive stuff that they had just for Thanksgiving. Besides, beer is cheaper," I said.

"Exactly."

"Do you have the hottub ready?" Chris asked Matt.

"If someone wants to use it. Everyone here is too much of a pussy," Matt said.

"Why's that?" Adam asked.

"Because it's outside," Matt said.

"And no one brought a swim suit 'cause you didn't tell us about it," Eric said.

Matt just shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You go naked. That's kinda the point, dumbass. Get the girls naked..."

"I might do it if I can get some people to do it with me. Do you have towels to dry off with after we get out?" I said.

"Not a problem. Try to get some girls to join you," Matt said.

"Do you really think I could coax any of the guys here to get naked with me?" I smirked.

"If they're drunk enough," he shrugged.

"You could probably get Riley," Chris smirked.

"Yea, great," I groaned. "Then we'll have nude fighting when I get sick of his stupid comments and shut him up."

"No blood in the hottub, please," Matt said.

"Well I say you act as a decoy to get a bunch of girls in there. They won't worry about being naked with a gay guy," Chris smiled.

"Does it really matter? I mean, honestly, you have as much chance with any of the girls here as I do with any of the guys," I said casually.

Everyone laughed.

"Besides, given Jonny's track record, I don't think we should leave him alone in a hottub of naked girls," Matt said.

We bantered for a few more minutes and then grabbed some pop before heading down to the basement. It was packed and there was a real band playing in the corner. A few people were dancing, but there wasn't much room. I pushed Adam into the crowd and then went off on my own.

The band was a cover band that did 80's & 90's alternative. They were okay. I danced with a few girls and talked with some people. Chris came up to me and requested which girls he wanted in the hottub. I told him which guys I wanted in the hottub and pushed him on his way. It was worth a shot, at least, so I went to a few of the girls Chris had mentioned and talked about going in the hottub. Lisa and Sarah were the only ones out of ten girls who wanted to do it. We headed upstairs.

"Hey Matt, fire up the hottub," I said as we walked into the kitchen.

He gave me a quick grin when he saw Lisa and Sarah. "Okay."

"And get two large t-shirts for the girls," I added. It was the only way they would agree.

"Oh. Um, okay," Matt said, a little less excited. He ran outside to turn on the hottub, and then went to get the girls t-shirts to wear and towels. He also had these huge bathrobes.

The girls changed in the bathroom first and emerged wrapped in the robes. I went next. Matt was just lifting off the cover when I looked out the kitchen window after getting changed.

"Ready?" I smiled at the girls.

"You go first," Lisa said.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. I slid open the patio door and quickly stepped outside. It was about 28¡F out and it felt like it. I quickly went over to the hottub and felt the water to make sure it was hot. It was.

"It should be fine," Matt said and went back inside.

I kept my back to the door, dropped my robe and set it on the table beside the hottub before getting in. The hot water felt so good, especially in contrast with the icy air. I sank down until just my face was above the water. The air that close to the water was warm.

"Come on! Water's great!" I yelled.

The patio door opened and Lisa ran out, dropped her robe and jumped in the water in a flash. Well, it was very quickly and I got a quick beaver-shot. Yuck.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Lisa mumbled as she pulled the shirt down and settled into the water.

"You'll make all the straight guys all hot and bothered," I smiled.

"Ya think?" She smirked.

"You're a tease."

"And you're not? Too bad you're gay."

"Only for you. The guy I end up with will be really happy," I smiled.

"C'est la vie," she shrugged. "How many guys do you think will be brave enough to join us?"

"I don't know," I said as Sarah came running out and did the same flash entry that Lisa did.

"It's freezing out here," Sarah said as she settled down in.

"Water feels good, though. I'm actually getting hot," I said.

"Go roll in the snow. That'll cool you down," Sarah smiled.

"I will if you will."

"Are we playing Truth or Dare?" Chris asked as he appeared and quickly climbed in, sitting opposite me and between the two girls. They slid slightly closer to me.

"Sure. Is it true that you enjoy blowing goats?" I smiled.

He flipped me the bird. "No. It's only for the money," he countered.

"Where are the hot guys you were supposed to get out here?" I said.

"You'll get your guys. Be patient."

"Really? You like someone here. Who is it?" Sarah asked me.

"No. Not anyone here. Just eye candy."

"Except the Brandon fetish," Chris smirked. I kicked him under the water.

"Brandon Moore? God, what do you see in him? He's so arrogant," Lisa said.

"Brandon's kinda cute, but he's too skinny," Sarah said.

"My only problem with him is that he's straight," I shrugged.

"You'll just have to settle for Riley," Chris teased.

"What is it with you and Riley? He's such a 'phobe," I said.

"Too bad for you. Riley's definitely cute," Lisa smiled. "Is he going to join us?"

"Not with me in the hottub," I said.

"Make room," Brandon yelled as he ran across the icy deck, dropped his robe at the last minute and jumped in. He settled down between Chris and Sarah. Chris gave me a 'So there' look. A few seconds later Matt came out and sat between Chris and Lisa.

"Hey! This isn't fair," Chris protested. "Why is it the gay guy is surrounded by girls and the straight guy is surrounded by guys?"

"You're just lucky, I guess," I shot back. "Who else is coming in?" I asked Matt.

"No one until one of us gets out. It only holds six people -- unless we all get a lot closer," he added with a grin.

The girls scooted next to me.

"Hey! Careful where you put your hands," I teased. "I'm not home base."

"Homo base, maybe," Brandon smirked.

"Yea. What he said," I agreed.

"I think you need to get out pretty soon. You've been in here for 15 minutes. You need to cool off," Matt said to me.

"So have the girls, just about," I smiled.

"You can just go roll in the snow," Chris said quickly, thinking of a way to keep the girls out here.

"We were saying that earlier. You first, Jonny," Sarah said.

"You don't have a dog or anything, do you?" I asked Matt.

"Don't eat the yellow snow!" Chris laughed.

"Nope. No surprises in the snow," Matt answered.

I took a deep breath. "Okay. Here goes," I said and climbed out. The patio lights weren't on, so the only light was coming from the house windows. I was really hot and could just barely feel the cold. I ran to the yard and dropped into the snow. Now I could feel the cold. I made a quick snow angel -- front and back -- and then ran back to the hottub with a handful of snow. I jumped in between Brandon and Chris and dumped the snow on their heads. They both screamed and pushed away from me, which pushed them closer to the girls.

"Next," I smiled.

"I don't know how I'm going to explain naked snow angels in the yard," Matt joked.

"At least I didn't do them in the front yard," I said. "Your turn, Sarah."

She stuck her tongue out at me and slowly stood up, being sure to hold the t-shirt down, and then sat on the edge and turned around with her legs crossed. Once she was beaver-shot safe, she ran to the yard and did a quick roll in the snow -- screaming. She ran back and jumped right in, ignoring beaver-shots.

"Damn," she laughed. "That's a shock. Next," she smiled sweetly at Lisa.

Lisa did about the same thing, then it was Chris' turn. Not to be outdone, he did snow angels, too.

"Brandon," Chris gestured as he jumped back in.

Brandon ran out, did a hand-stand and fell back into the snow, doing a backwards somersault to get out of it so you couldn't really see where someone walked to the print. I noticed he was hanging heavy when he left, and up tight when he got back. Oh, the things I could do with him.

"Show-off," I said to Brandon.

Matt casually got out and disappeared behind the railing of the deck. A few seconds later it started raining snowballs.

"Let's get him," Chris said and jumped out. Brandon and I were right behind him. Matt took off running, but he was outnumbered. Brandon tackled him and then Chris and I pelted him with quick snowballs. Satisfied he'd gotten enough, I ran back to the hottub -- noticing Riley in the window watching everything. The girls had just gotten out and were heading inside, wrapped in their robes. I jumped into the water to warm up. The other guys were only a half-minute behind me.

"Where'd the girls go?" Brandon asked.

"They're underwater blowing me," I smiled.

"Real smooth, jackass," Chris said and slapped Matt on the back of the head.

"Oh well. It was fun, anyway," Matt shrugged and slapped Chris back.

"Well I think I'm done," I said and climbed out, wrapping my robe around me. "You boys have fun," I teased as I headed back in.

"Where are our robes?" Chris yelled just before I closed the door. Lisa stood just inside with Chris, Brandon and Matt's robes.

"Who's gonna get a show now?" Lisa smiled. I looked around the kitchen and noticed there were a lot of girls and could hear Sarah yelling for all the girls to get in the kitchen for a show.

"I'm not gonna get caught up in this," I said and quickly retreated to the bathroom to dry off and change back into my clothes. I felt bad about leaving the guys stranded, so I grabbed some towels and opened the bathroom window.

"Guys. Over here," I yelled out.

"What do you want, traitor?" Chris said.

"Traitor? Oh, okay. I guess I won't give you these towels that I was planning to give you," I smiled and started to close the window.

"No! Wait! Sorry for doubting you. Pass them out."

I raised the screen and passed the towels to Matt.

"Thanks, man. How about a robe, too?"

"Do you have more in here?" I asked.

"No. Just give me the one you have. You don't need it anymore."

"Fine. Give you the robe off my back," I muttered teasingly as I pulled it off and passed it out the window.

"Thanks," he said and quickly wrapped the robe around himself before walking back into the light near the hottub and handing the towels to Brandon and Chris.

I finished drying off and got dressed. The guys were already in the kitchen and laughing with all the girls who were teasing them and trying to pull off their towels.

"You! Why'd you give them towels?" Lisa complained as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey. I may be gay, but I'm still a guy. Guys gotta stick together."

"You'd like guys to stick it up your butt," Riley muttered.

"Ease up, Riley," Amy said to him.

"Aw, I'm just joking. Jonny knows that. I need another beer," Riley said and quickly retreated downstairs.

"Do you know that?" Amy asked me.

"I don't know anything when it comes to Riley, except that he's got multiple personalities," I said.

"Ain't that the truth," she laughed.

"Okay, ladies. The free show is over. You want to see more, you've gotta show more," Chris said and pushed his way through the kitchen, tightly clutching his towel. Brandon was right behind him, but wasn't holding his towel tight enough and lost it. He quickly passed Chris and ran into the bathroom. He's got a great ass. Matt was safe in a robe and walked to his room.

"Good choice on who's towel to get," I smiled at Rachel, who'd gotten Brandon's towel.

"He does have a cute little butt, doesn't he?" She laughed.

"Definitely."

"You've got a pretty cute butt, yourself," she added and goosed me. "I saw you running around out there."

"Ugh. Don't touch. Must run from horny girls," I said and ran downstairs. The band had stopped and everyone was just standing around talking as the band tore down their equipment. I looked around for Adam and saw him talking with Karen. Good for him. They didn't have another date, but he still liked her. At least he's talking to a girl.

It was too hot and too crowded downstairs so I went back into the lion's den and braved the girls, making a good show of keeping my butt to the wall so no one could goose me. Most of them were headed back downstairs or leaving, anyway. I grabbed another pop and sat on the counter and joked around with some people.

"Girls can be vicious," Chris said as he walked into the room, fully clothed.

"Turnabout is fair play," Lisa, who was also now fully clothed, said.

"That was more than turnabout. We would be arrested for attempted rape or sexual harassment if we made you walk a gauntlet of guys trying to pull your towel off."

"I thought that was every straight guy's fantasy -- to be ravaged by a woman?" I teased.

"If you hated it so much, then why was the front of your towel tented?"

"That was just natural bulge," Chris defended.

"You know you loved the attention," I said.

"The pressure to please a room full of girls was too much. I'm only human," Chris said.

"So why weren't you just parading in, naked, Jonny? You'd have no pressure with the girls," Riley, who had apparently gotten his beer and returned, said.

I'd had enough. "We need to talk," I said and pulled Riley into the pantry.

"Ooo. You gonna blow me now?" Riley teased as he stumbled along.

I pushed him in and closed the door behind us. "What is your fuckin' problem? Huh? You're like hot and cold. If you don't like me, then don't hang out with me. No one is forcing you. This stupid shit where you want to hang out and then do nothing but make snide comments is getting old. What is your fuckin' problem?"

He just stared at me for a few seconds. He looked like he was going to cry, though it could have just been the alcohol.

"I like you," he said softly.

"I like you, too, when you aren't being a prick. I swear, you're worse than a girl. You don't treat anyone else that way. Just me. Are you only a prick to people you like?"

Now he did start crying. Not all out bawling, but tears rolling down his cheeks.

"What is your problem?" I asked a bit softer. I hate seeing someone cry.

"You don't know," he choked out. "You don't know what it was like for me at my old school. I can't do that again. I just can't." He was almost yelling, but more crying.

"I don't know what? What happened at your old school?"

"They...they found out...about me..."

"What about you?"

"That I...I...like you..."

"Yea, we already covered that."

"No. No. You don't under..understand. I...I like yo...you."

"Call me dense, but I'm still not getting..."

Before I could even finish my sentence Riley kissed me. Saying that I was shocked would be an understatement. He went to kiss me again and I jerked back.

"What are you doing? You're drunk." I stuttered.

"No. No. No. No! Don't you get it?! I like you! I think you're hot! I think you're fuckin' sexy as hell and I dream about you being my boyfriend and us having sex for days! I dream about licking you all over until you scream and explode in ecstasy! Is that clear enough?! Huh? Do you fuckin' understand now?!" Riley yelled.

Holy shit. The door to the pantry pulled open and Chris stood there. Behind him everyone else who had been in the kitchen were all silent and staring.

"Uh, is everything okay?" Chris said uncomfortably.

"Yea, it's fine," I said and pulled the door closed. "What?" I said to Riley.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Everyone knows now. Everyone heard me. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't do this again. I can't," Riley started panicking and crying harder.

"Will you chill out! What are you panicking about?"

"I can't do it. I can't. Not again," he sobbed and collapsed to the floor.

Damn it. I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. He grabbed hold of me and held me tight as he cried. This was totally not romantic. Sure, I think he's cute. No. He's very cute. Hot, even. I just never thought he was gay or interested in me. More than that, I thought he was uncomfortable being around me. Well, I guess I know why now.

I'm not sure if I'd want to date him. He's too afraid of being gay. Though, the thought of having him lick me all over and having sex for days does sound appealing.

He was quiet now, but still held me tight and was sniffling.

"Riley?" I said softly.

He grunted and held me tighter.

"Riley?" I repeated and pulled him away from me. "Riley. What are you so afraid of? So you're gay. Big deal. So am I."

"It was so bad...at my old school...they found out... That's why I had to come live with my dad... I can't do that again. I won't have anywhere to go."

"Have you been paying attention? I'm gay. Everyone knows. It's no big deal, unless you make it one."

"That's just 'cause it's you. They won't like me if they know I'm gay," Riley sniffled.

"Only if you're a closet case. No one likes a coward. That's just like admitting you're a sissy. Be a man."

"Not everyone can be as strong as you. It's hard for me."

"It's hard for me, too. My dad kicked me out. My brother and I were fighting for a while. I have to share a room with the neighbor's ten year old, for Christ's sake. If that's not a challenge then I don't wanna know what is," I joked, trying to lighten up the conversation.

"You live with your neighbor?"

"Yea. My dad couldn't deal. At least your dad doesn't despise you. He knows, right?"

"Yea. He knows."

"And he must not hate you too much if he still let you come live with him."

"No. He tries to be too helpful. He tries too hard. You know, I think he wanted you to show me around that first day so I'd be around someone else who was gay."

"That was pretty cool of him."

"It's not cool to have your dad trying to hook you up with a guy," Riley said seriously.

I busted up laughing. "Yea, okay. I'd probably freak if my dad ever tried to fix me up with a guy. Well, the end of the world would happen about a half-second after that, so I wouldn't have to freak for long."

"So...um...what did you think about the kiss?" Riley grinned shyly.

"I was too shocked, and you taste like beer," I said and made a face.

"We could try again," he said hopefully.

"Not until after you sober up and brush your teeth. Beer kisses don't taste good."

"So we can try again, later?"

"I don't know. Maybe," I shrugged.

"I could lick you all over," he said softly and tried not to grin.

"You are drunk. You're gonna be grounded forever 'cause there's no way you'll be sober by the time you have to be home tonight. What time do you have to be home?"

"Midnight."

I looked at my watch. "Nope. No way you'll be sober. It's 11:30 now."

"Shit. Dad's gonna kill me."

"Just call and ask if you can stay the night."

"Will Matt let me stay over?"

"I don't know. You'll have to ask him."

"Can I stay with you?"

"Um, if I ask you probably could. I don't have anywhere for you to sleep, though. You'd have to sleep on the floor."

"Not with you?"

"No. I don't want you to get sick on me, and you won't keep your hands to yourself," I said.

"And that's a bad thing? You don't like me?"

"I share a room with a ten year old. Remember?"

"Oh. Right. So will you be my boyfriend?" He asked quickly and softly.

"No."

"What?! Why not?"

"'Cause you're drunk when you're asking me. I also don't want to date a closet case. I'm not going to hide. If you're gonna be with me you're gonna be out."

"That's really selfish."

"Not as selfish as you wanting me to hide. Besides, everyone in the kitchen already heard you yelling about wanting to lick me all over. Most straight guys don't say that to another guy," I smirked.

"Oh god. I'd forgotten about that," he groaned. "I'm not going to live this down."

"Probably not," I teased.

"So since I'm already kinda out if I ask you tomorrow when I'm sober would you be my boyfriend?"

"Um...why don't we just try friends first, okay? Without all the stupid snide remarks. Let me see who you are when you aren't pretending to be someone else. Okay?"

"Yea, okay. I guess I understand," he pouted.

"Good," I sighed as I stood up. "Now you'd better call your dad."

"Don't I need to come out of the pantry first?" Riley chuckled as he climbed to his feet.

"And the closet, too. You're probably gonna have to do some explaining when we walk out," I warned.

"And you're sure I'm not going to get beat up or something?"

"Not unless you jump on Chris' back and try to fuck him," I teased.

"Ew. I'm not that drunk. I don't think I could be," Riley shuddered dramatically.

"I wouldn't sleep with him, but he's decent looking."

"His face is okay, but have you seen his nipples? They're huge. Like a girl's."

"Checkin' him out pretty closely during soccer, huh?" I teased.

"Nah. I just notice."

"Well you might want to keep that to yourself. Knowing you're gay is one thing. Knowing that you're checking them out in the showers is another," I said.

"I wasn't gonna tell them. You do it too, though, don't you?"

"I try not to think about it. I don't want anything to pop up," I smiled.

"I always wait until I'm covered."

"Yea, okay. Time's wasting. You ready?"

"No, but I guess I have to," Riley sighed.

"Yep." I opened the door and walked out first. The kitchen was still crowded. It got quiet and everyone looked at me, and then Riley.

"Go ahead," I prodded Riley. He gave me an apprehensive look.

"Um...I'm...um...gay," he finally got out.

"Ha! I told you!" Chris laughed in Brandon's face. "Pay up!"

"Thanks a lot, Riley," Brandon muttered.

"You guys had a bet on if he was gay?" I asked.

"It was a sure thing. Hardly a bet," Chris taunted Brandon.

"How...how'd you know?" Riley stuttered.

"You mean beyond you making a fag comment every time someone caught you staring longingly at Jonny?" Chris laughed.

"You're busted," I teased. "Okay. Show's over." I went over to the phone and called home.

"Hey. It's me. Is it okay if another friend besides Adam stays the night?" I asked Aunt Mary.

"It's a bit late to be asking. Who is it?"

"Riley. He's been drinking and doesn't want his dad to find out."

"The principal's son? I thought you didn't like him all that well."

"Yea, well I called him on it tonight and we sorted it out. Mostly... I think."

"Any chance you can be a little less vague?"

"He's gay, got scared into the closet where he lived before and likes me. That pretty much covers it," I stated.

"Okay. So he's your boyfriend now?"

"No. I told him no until I got the chance to know him when we wasn't being all fake."

"Good."

"So can he stay over?"

"How much has he had to drink?"

"I don't know. Enough to be drunk, but not enough to be sick."

"Okay. He can stay the night. If he gets sick, you will clean it up."

"If he gets sick he can clean it up, himself."

"As long as it gets cleaned up and it's not me. You heading home now?"

"Yea. As soon as we round everyone up. Thanks," I said and hung up. I turned around to find Adam.

"What's going on?" Adam asked.

"Riley came out of the closet and he's gonna stay the night."

"Dude. I don't want to listen to you guys fucking," Adam protested.

"And I don't want to listen to you two fucking, either. He's sleeping on the floor with you," I smiled.

"I'd rather sleep with you. At least I know I can trust you."

"Hey. Is everyone professing their love for you tonight?" Chris joked as he walked up. "I love you man," he goofed and gave me a sideways hug.

"Blow me," Adam said to Chris. "I was only saying I'd rather SLEEP in Jonny's bed than on the floor next to Riley."

"Why don't you just sleep at home? You only live a few houses away from each other."

"Normally it's just easier."

"And any time he can spend away from his sisters is a good thing," I added.

"Definitely," Adam agreed.

"Still doesn't make any sense, but whatever. Let's hit the road," Chris said.

"Where's Riley?" I asked.

"You already attached at the...ahem...hip?" Chris smirked.

I punched him in the arm. "No. He's staying the night with me so his dad doesn't see him drunk."

"It's his own damn fault. If he can't hide it he shouldn't drink. Anyway, I don't believe you for a second."

"Doesn't matter. I already told him I wouldn't be his boyfriend -- at least until I get to know him when he isn't being all fake. Why didn't you tell me you thought he was gay?"

"I didn't know for sure. I didn't want to get your hopes up."

"My hopes? For Riley? Surely you jest."

"All the girls think he's cute," Chris shrugged.

"Well, at this point they can have him. He's got some making up to do."

"Not some 'making out'?" Adam teased.

"Not unless you're gonna volunteer," I shot back.

"Hey. It's okay. We leaving now?" Riley asked as he walked up.

"Yep. Let's go."

Between the kitty litter and three people pushing, we were able to un-stick Chris' car and got home with one minute to spare. Uncle Joe and Aunt Mary were sitting up waiting for us.

"We're back. This is Riley," I said as I walked into the living room. Riley held back in the doorway.

"Come in and have a seat," Uncle Joe said like we were going to have a talk and it wasn't negotiable. "You too, Riley."

Adam quietly backed up and went upstairs. Riley looked a bit startled, but slowly walked over and sat in a chair. I suspected what was going to happen and just dropped down into another chair.

"How much have you had to drink?" Aunt Mary asked Riley.

Riley shot me a look like he was pissed I told them he'd been drinking. "Just, like, three beers. Not that much," he finally answered.

"You're being allowed to stay tonight, but it's not going to happen again. This isn't a refuge. If it ever happens again, I'll take you home, personally, and make sure your father knows. It that understood?" Aunt Mary stated, and gave me a look as well to let me know they didn't appreciate being put in this position.

"Yes, ma'am," Riley said softly.

"Now go to bed. We'll talk again in the morning."

We had been dismissed and I lead Riley up to my room.

"Dude. Why'd you tell them?" Riley asked in a whisper.

"Because you wouldn't have been able to stay if there wasn't some sort of emergency involved. I don't lie to them. This is my last resort place. I'm not going to fuck it up for you."

"What did you tell them?"

"Everything."

"Everything?" He asked, starting to panic.

"Chill out. I didn't say anything about you wanting to lick me all over and having sex for days," I shot back as I dug the sleeping bag out of the closet.

"But you told them I'm...um...like you?"

"You mean 'gay'? You can say it. I've heard you before."

"Yea, that."

"Gay."

"Fine. Gay," Riley sighed.

"See? That wasn't so bad. It'll get even easier each time you say it."

"So did you?"

"Tell them you're gay?"

"Yea."

"Yea."

"Why?"

"I already told you, and they wanted to know why I wanted the guy who's been making snide fag remarks to stay the night. You don't have to worry about them being weird about you being gay. It's not an issue with them. I'm gay and they took me in. Jonah, their nephew, is gay, too."

"Okay. I just get nervous about people knowing."

"Don't be. It's a stupid waste of time. The worst thing that will happen is Uncle Joe will make you talk about it and deal with it. He's a shrink."

"So are you in trouble?" Adam asked me as we walked into my bedroom.

"Kinda, but not really. Uncle Joe's gonna shrink Riley in the morning, though," I smirked.

Adam busted up laughing. "Dude. You're gonna be so sorry you came over," he laughed at Riley.

"So. Vat do you see ven I hold up dis banana?" I teased as Freud.

"Do you like horses, Riley?" Adam teased.

"I hear they have really big cocks. You gay guys like that, don't you?" I added.

"God! Just stop, will you? I'm sorry. I was being an ass. Okay? I'm sorry," Riley pouted.

"You were only making an ass of yourself. You should have just said you were gay from the start. You should have known it wouldn't be a problem as soon as you found out I was gay," I said.

"What about Adam? He's not out of the closet."

"'Cause I was never in it. I'm straight, dude," Adam said.

"But your best friend is gay?"

"Yea. I don't care. He doesn't hit on me. You'd better not, either."

"Don't worry. You aren't my type."

"So far Adam's not anyone's type," I teased.

"And so far you're the fuck toy type," Adam shot back.

"Envious much?" I smirked.

"Not of the Drama Queen of Chicago," Adam shrugged with a grin and started getting undressed.

"I think he was talking about you," I said to Riley. "Sleep anywhere on the floor you like," I added and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I got back Adam was in my bed and Riley was sitting on the floor with the sleeping bag opened.

"Which door is the bathroom?" Riley asked.

"Straight across the hall."

"What about for gays?" He smiled.

I just rolled my eyes and got undressed as he walked out.

"Riley is jeal...envious that I'm sleeping in your bed," Adam snickered.

"Probably. Maybe it's just being drunk, but he seems to think as soon as he declared his love for me I'd jump into bed with him," I said.

"You've done it before for less."

"I've learned my lesson, and I'm not going to date a closet case. I already told him that."

"Yea, whatever. You know you're gonna end up going out with him. He's the only guy in school you have a chance with," Adam said confidently and then rolled over and got comfortable.

"Keep it up and you'll be sleeping on the floor with him," I threatened and got into bed just as Riley was coming back in.

"I used some of your toothpaste, if that's okay," Riley said.

"As long as you didn't use my toothbrush."

"No. My finger."

"Okay. Night."

"Um... Thanks for letting me stay over and all."

"You're welcome," I mumbled.

"You really tired?"

"Uh, huh."

"Okay. Sorry. Night," he said and turned off the light. I heard him settle down into the sleeping back a few seconds later. I was out a few minutes after that.

"Jonny. Jonny." I heard Jay whisper and felt him shaking my shoulder.

"What?" I groaned and pushed his hand away without opening my eyes.

"Who's that on our floor?"

"Riley."

"I thought you didn't like him."

"I was indifferent to him. I thought he didn't like me," I mumbled.

"Why's he sleeping on our floor?"

"'Cause I wouldn't let him sleep with me. What time is it?"

"Just after nine. Why'd he want to sleep with you? Is he gay?"

"Yes. Now go away and let me sleep for another hour," I said and pushed him off my bed.

"Do Mom and Dad know your boyfriend is here?" Jay continued.

"He's not my boyfriend. They know he's here."

"Why isn't he your boyfriend? You still thinking about Pasha?"

"No, I'm not still thinking about Pasha. Why is it you feel that I have to be up just because you are?" I complained.

"Just 'cause I want to."

"What about what I want?"

"Doesn't matter," he teased and wasn't fast enough to get away when I jumped out of bed to grab him. He tripped over Riley and fell back. I was on him immediately and sat on his chest, pinning his arms above his head.

"How about now?" I questioned now that I had him pinned.

"What the fuck?" Riley groaned as he tried to get out of the sleeping bag.

"Still doesn't matter," Jay smirked.

I pulled his wrists together so I could hold them with one hand then rubbed my knuckle in that spot between his collar bones just below his neck. He screamed and squirmed, but didn't get away.

"And now?" I asked as I paused.

"Nope," he challenged.

I went back to it until he was gasping and begging me to stop.

"Okay. Okay! It matters! It matters!" Jay screamed.

"What matters?"

"What you want. It matters."

"Good answer," I smirked and let him go. He got up right away and ran for the door.

"I lied. It doesn't matter," he taunted and stuck out his tongue. I faked a jump towards him and he screamed, slammed the door and ran downstairs.

"Is that the ten year old you were talking about?" Riley mumbled as he sat on the floor, bleary eyed and holding his head in his hands.

"Yea. I hope there's not another one."

"Is he always like that?"

"Hyper and loud?" I asked.

"Yea."

"Pretty much."

"He's better than my sisters, who are bitchy and loud," Adam mumbled, though he hadn't sat up yet.

"No hangover?" I asked Riley.

"I've got a headache, but I don't know if it's from drinking last night or from being woken by a screaming ten year old falling on me."

"Probably some of both. What time did you tell your dad you'd be home?"

"Noon. How close is the train? Do you have a schedule?" Riley asked as he stretched.

"I don't have a schedule. You'll have to walk to the Howard station. The trains don't run to Skokie on weekends," I answered.

"That sucks. What do you think the chances of getting a ride are?"

"To the station or all the way home? Where do you live?"

"An apartment downtown. Randolph is the closest station."

"Lake view?"

"No, facing the other way and too low anyway. The view from my bedroom is the side of a building."

"Yea, okay. Let's go get your talk out of the way so you can get out of here and be home on time," I said as I pulled on some pants with Riley watching me closely. He hadn't gotten undressed at all and just rolled up the sleeping bag.

"Have fun with your appointment. I'm gonna try to sleep another half-hour or so," Adam said and rolled back over.

"You're a lazy bastard, you know that?" I said.

A single finger flipped up from the blankets.

"Don't offer if you're not gonna follow through," I teased and walked out.

"It's so weird that your best friend is straight," Riley whispered to me as we walked downstairs.

"Why?"

"It's just weird that he's not afraid of you -- any of the guys, actually."

"The only one of them I'd want to do anything with is Brandon, and everyone kinda already knows about that. I get teased about it, but that's it."

"Morning, boys," Uncle Joe said as we walked into the kitchen.

"Morning, old man," I teased and went to get a cup of coffee. "You want some coffee, Riley?"

"Yea, thanks."

"I assume you've been suitably warned about this morning?" Uncle Joe smiled at Riley.

"Um..."

"He was warned," I said.

"Good. Saves time," Uncle Joe teased. "I'll cut it down to two important things. First: In this house we don't care if you're gay or straight. You'll be treated the same. Bigotry in any form is not allowed. Understood?"

"Um...yes, sir."

"Good. Second: Drinking doesn't make problems go away. It won't make you straight. It only makes you forget your problems for a short while, and then brings them back with a hangover. I don't know what your father's stance on drinking is, but I'm guessing he doesn't approve if you asked to stay over here. Correct?"

"We really hadn't talked about it," Riley answered.

"That probably won't last much longer. Anyway, I'm going to tell you what I tell all my kids, and anyone who hangs out with them. I don't want you drinking, but I'm not na•ve enough to think that will stop you. If you do drink, don't drink so much you make yourself sick, and don't go anywhere. Stay at the house you were drinking at and wait until morning. Don't ride with anyone who has been drinking and don't ride with anyone if you've been drinking and you aren't sure if they have or not. If you can't stay, then call for a ride. Safe and grounded is better than dead. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. That's all for now. What time do you have to be home?"

"Noon."

"Can someone give him a ride to the Howard station?" I asked.

"I think a little walking would do you good," Uncle Joe smiled.

"It's winter."

"It's only 35¡F and the sun is shining. You'll survive. Maybe even take Jay with you."

"No, that's okay. I think we'd prefer to walk without him."

"Suit yourself. Where's Adam?"

"Still in bed. I should send Jay up to wake him before we leave," I smiled.

"So how do you do it? How do you just be so cool about being gay? It's like you're not even worried about what people may do," Riley asked me as we were walking to the Howard station.

"I'm just cool," I smirked.

"I'm trying to be serious."

"I don't know, then. I guess I got comfortable with it by going online and chatting with other gay people before I came out. I was kinda too much in-your-face with it at first, but that's just my personality, so I'm told. Anyway, Jonah and Michael helped me a lot when I stayed with them last summer, not to mention Charlie, Justin and Lance."

"Who are all those people?"

"My adopted brothers. Jonah used to be good friends with my brother until he came out..."

"Your brother is gay, too?" Riley interrupted.

I laughed. "No way! He's a freaky rug humper. Jonah came out. So, anyway, Michael is Jonah's boyfriend. They have a cool life and good friends and a lot of their friends are famous. That's how I met Justin and Lance from 'NSYNC."

"So you really do know them?"

"Yea. Don't get weird about it and don't tell everyone."

"I won't. So you were there when Lance came out last summer?"

"I was in the studio."

"No way."

"Way. And then we went back to Jonah and Michael's place for a coming out party for Lance. There was a hurricane that night so we all slept in this big bed we made on the floor of Jonah and Michael's bedroom. It was so cool."

"It sounds like a wet dream come true. I bet you were all cool with sleeping with them, weren't you?"

"No," I snorted. "I was dorkus maximus and scared shitless. I was just glad I didn't pop a bone until the lights were off."

"Ah, so you weren't always Mr. Cool," Riley teased.

"I already said I wasn't. You just need to relax. Don't be afraid of what people might say. Jonah says that he just ignores stupid people 'cause if he lets what they say bother him, then they have power over him. He won't give them the satisfaction," I said.

"Why did you go stay with Jonah and Michael? Especially since it doesn't sound like he was friends with your brother anymore."

"Joey, who's my brother's best friend, convinced him and my mom. I didn't know anything about it until we got there and I hadn't seen or heard from Jonah since I was nine."

"Is he hot?"

"Definitely. I used to have a crush on him."

"Not anymore?"

"I don't think so. It's more of a brother thing now, and I'm not into incest," I smirked.

"Gross. So who is Charlie?"

"Charlie Hunnam. He was in the UK version of 'Queer as Folk'."

"Have you seen that?"

"Yea. Charlie gave me a copy for my birthday. You haven't?"

"No. I've seen it on the shelf at Blockbuster, but I've never had the balls to rent it. Can I borrow it sometime, or come over and watch it?" Riley asked.

"Yea. Have you seen any gay movies?"

"Not real ones. Just stuff like 'Bird Cage' and crap like that."

"You need to. 'Get Real' is really good. It doesn't have a gay title. You should rent it and watch it."

"Was Pasha your first boyfriend?"

"He wasn't my boyfriend. We just went out a couple times. He already had a boyfriend," I snapped.

"You're still hurt by that, aren't you?"

"I just don't like talking about him. It's over. It was over a month-and-a-half ago."

"Sorry," Riley said and got quiet for a minute.

"What was so bad about living with your mom? How did people find out if you didn't come out?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"A friend found my stash of pictures on my computer and told everyone."

"Not much of a friend."

"I know. He said he was sorry about it when I left, but it doesn't change anything. No one wanted to be seen with me. No one would talk to me except to call me a faggot or some other name. I got beat up a couple times -- there were other people there and they just watched. No one helped me. It was really hard and I just wanted to die. Mom let me come live with Dad so I could start fresh, but I think it was also because Bruce, my step-dad, was weirded out. He wouldn't say anything directly, but we used to be pretty close and then he got all cold and distant when he found out."

"He never hit you?"

"No way. My mom would kick his ass if he even thought of it," Riley chuckled.

"My dad did. Most of the time Tommy was there as a buffer, but not always. He doesn't even know of all the times Dad would smack or punch me for no reason. I'd just get away -- usually go down to Wilder CafŽ and stay all night. Dave's really cool about that kinda stuff. I didn't stand up to my dad until after I got back from New York and was living with the Mars. He came in drunk during my birthday party and started shoving me around and taunting me. I finally snapped and decked him and then punched him until Tommy pulled me off. I was a basket case."

"Tommy is your brother?"

"Yea."

"What about your mom?"

"She talks a lot and would try to talk to Dad, but it didn't help. She helped get me out of there, so I guess that's good enough," I shrugged.

"You don't love her?"

"Yea, I do. I don't know. It's just weird since I've been living away from them. It's like I can see all their faults now that I'm not directly affected by them. I don't know. It just feels weird."

"What about your dad?"

"He's confusing, and a frightened little asshole."

"Tell me how you really feel," Riley teased.

"I'm serious. I totally called him out on it after Billy Mascow tried to shoot me and got sent to jail. I know he misses me and wants me back, but he wants me the way I was two years ago and straight. It's not gonna happen. I'd rather never see him again than live under that kind of repression."

"Someone tried to shoot you?"

"Yea. You already know about all that. Remember the first day when Bill said that the last guy who messed with me ended up dead?"

"Yea, but then it was dropped and no one told me the rest of the story."

"Oh. Well we got in a fight when he was picking on Brandon's little brother and I stepped in to stop it. I got the better of him and he got pissed off, not to mention that his dad beat him up for getting suspended, and he came to my old house to shoot me. Tommy found him first and the cops took him away. His dad got him out of jail, somehow, and then beat him to death."

"That's kinda sad."

"I know, but better him than me. Can you fight?"

"Yea, when it's only one-on-one."

"Have you ever been to Horizons?"

"Where?"

"It's a gay community center. Jonah told me about it and said I should visit it. I don't want to go by myself and Adam won't go with me 'cause he's afraid he'll get hit on all the time." I said.

"Didn't you already have a kinda gay community center when you stayed with Jonah and Michael?"

"Kinda, except Justin and Charlie aren't gay, just gay friendly."

"Okay. I'm really surprised at how gay friendly the school is. It's not like I came from a small town or anything, but it was completely different," Riley said.

"You're also coming in as a sophomore. The freshmen are little more skittish about it. The juniors are cool with it and the seniors don't care as long as you stay out of their way. You're still gonna get teased, you know?" I said.

"So? Everyone teases everyone. As long as I'm not singled out."

"You will be for a little while."

"Why?"

"'Cause you were all phoby before. It's a complete 180. If you'd just come out from the start it wouldn't have been a big deal."

"Yea, I know now. You can stop telling me. There's nothing I can do about the past."

"No, but you can do something about now. Don't get all defensive when someone teases you about being gay. Laugh it off or make a joke or tease back, but don't get pissy about it. Oh, and don't take it too far -- like don't talk about checking them out in the shower and stuff like that. Like I said last night, it's one thing to be cool with you being gay, it's another to know you're checking them out," I said.

"I know, but I might slip up. I'm so used to having to hide and cover up."

"Now you have to get over it. Just say it: 'I like dick'," I smiled.

"I like Jonny, too," he smiled and gave me a shy half-glance.

"Stop hitting on me. I meant what I said about us dating. I want to get to know the real you, not a fake. I'm not going to date you just 'cause you're the only hot gay guy in our class who isn't fem."

"Ahhhh. So the truth comes out. You think I'm hot," Riley teased.

"You have your moments," I tried to shrug off.

"Um, hmm," Riley smiled.

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