Just the Truth

First of all, let me tell you people that I wanted to have this chapter out by Kevin's birthday. However, there were a couple of technical problems and I just couldn't do it.

Still...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN! How could I ever forget my baby's birthday? Yes Karen, he's mine. I'm sorry, but I ain't sharing. sighs I can't believe he's turned thirty. Can you people? He looks far too fine to be thirty! Well, that's ought to his phormaldeido baths, that's for sure.

Over to the classical disclaimer. I don't know them -- I really don't. I don't own them -- as far as I know Kevin is totally Kristin's, even though I'd love for him to be Nick's if I can't have him. I'm making no profit whatsoever from this. I've got nothing under my name for you to sue me.

Big thanks to Karen. You're great darling. Even when I'm my wacky little self, you still put up with me.

Another big thanks to Lost. I'm so glad you're beta reading this thing. I've got like a million mistakes on my own.

That being said, I'm leaving you with a new chapter.

Now with the story...

Just the truth By M. F. Luder

Chapter 16

When we reached the dressing room -- at least the room Kevin stopped in before, because I sure as hell didn't have any idea which one was what -- Kevin opened the door and motioned for me to enter. I walked over to the same couch we had sat on earlier and took a seat, waiting for Kevin to join me. He, however, seemed to have other plans as he walked over to the food table.

"Kevin?" I called out softly, not really knowing what to do.

He looked around the table and picked up a sandwich. "Want something?" he asked me, not even bothering to turn around.

I shook my head and, realizing he couldn't see it, said, "No, thanks."

He walked back to the couch and sat on the other side. I sighed softly as I watched him. I couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole pet name thing. "Kev, look, I want to talk about what happened in the room." I waited for him to say something, but when he didn't, I continued, "You see... hmm... I called Kate 'darling' more out of habit than anything else. I mean, we've known each other for years and usually we talk like that." I laughed nervously, while he only watched me with curious eyes. "Hmm... I... I really don't know what else to say. I didn't mean for you to get mad at me for that. Really. It's a habit. I do love you, I don't want you to think different or..."

I was really starting to freak out, fidgeting with my hands in my lap, feeling horrible over what should have been nothing, but it just wasn't nothing for me. Before I could continue, he was kissing me. I was too surprised to respond initially, but after a moment, I kissed him back.

When we pulled apart, he looked at me -- smiling. "Don't freak out, ok?"

I laughed softly, then nodded. That's what I do. That's what I always do and one of the things that scares Kate the most: that I freak out far too much for someone my age.

"I was worried. I'm just not used to it, that's all. I know you love me. I know that. I love you too. It's just..." he sighed softly, then chuckled. "Hell, I was just being stupid."

I shook my head. "No, you weren't. I..."

"You two are best friends," he interrupted me. "You have been friends for fourteen years; of course you're gonna call Kate that. It's ok."

I nodded, not really knowing what else to do. I was starting to freak out, and I didn't like that. I had learned to hate my freaking out over something that I just shouldn't even think twice about.

He caressed my cheek slowly, his fingers comforting against my skin. "I love you."

I grinned at his words. It was beautiful whenever he said things like that. I loved it whenever he said it, that's all there is to it.

He leaned down and kissed me. My hands moved to the back of his neck to pull him closer to me. He started running his fingers through my hair, his other hand, forced into letting the sandwich fall to the ground, moved to my waist. Pulling me almost onto his lap, we kissed. We pulled apart because, lets face it, air is a necessity, you know?

He smiled down at me, kissing my lips softly again. "Gosh, I love you so much."

I laughed loudly, enjoying his words. I was enjoying this too much, I kept telling myself. Too much. it wasn't good, it wasn't right...

I shook my head slightly, not wanting to go down that path. It doesn't help. It doesn't help at all. It only brings me down and gets me all freaked out and I end up...

"Matt?"

I was pulled out of my stupor by Kevin's words, his eyes looking worriedly back at me. "Huh?"

"You ok? You seemed to get lost there for a moment." He smiled awkwardly at me. "You shook you head."

"Oh," I swallowed nervously. "Yeah, I was thinking. Sorry. I tend to drift from time to time." I smiled nervously at him, worried all of a sudden. This wasn't going well. This wasn't...

He leaned over and kissed me again. "Sure. No problem. I'm used to that." He chuckled good naturally. "The guys tend to do that a lot."

I looked around, realizing he had dropped his sandwich and picked it up. "You dropped it." I looked at it, then at him, and couldn't help but laugh. I think I laughed for a good minute, holding my stomach because it was starting to hurt.

Kevin joined me, his laugher a soft sound, then took the piece of food from my hands. "Yeah, well, my hands were needed somewhere else, you know?"

I blushed at his words, ducking my head slightly. He placed a finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. "You shouldn't blush," he said softly. "You look lovely when you blush, that's for sure, but you shouldn't blush at everything."

I shrugged. "Sorry, it's just a habit. I blush at most things." Especially when it has something to do with love. Oh, yeah, Kate could most certainly tell him some stories about that. I'm lame like that.

"Hmm... shouldn't we join the guys?" I wanted to change subjects all of a sudden, not really feeling comfortable talking about myself and my blushes. No, I wasn't comfortable at all.

Kevin grinned, throwing the last of his sandwich across the room and into the waste basket in the corner. It didn't actually go in, but fell down to the side. He chuckled. "Nah, later on." He moved over on the couch, resting his tall frame against its arm, then pulled me to his chest.

I accommodated, moving around so I was laying on his chest, my legs between his, my head right under his head, my ear over his heart. I lifted my head slightly, just enough to meet his eyes. "What if someone comes in?" That wouldn't look good, especially in the very insinuating position we were at the moment.

He shook his head, leaned over and captured my lips in a soft kiss. "Nope," he said with a smile, "this room is only for the five of us. A little bit of privacy before the concert."

I nodded as I reclaimed my place on his chest. I laid there, listening to his heartbeat for a moment before speaking. "This is nice." I said, practically slurring it as I was feeling very much relaxed.

Kevin nodded, agreeing with me. "Yeah, very nice."

I felt his arms move over to hold me closer to his chest, one of his hands caressing my cheek and brushing my hair. It was so very calming. One of my hands moved to the back of his neck, moving back and forth rather slowly, the other one finding its way to his hair. 'Such soft hair', I thought with a smile. From where I was laying, I could smell his cologne and the soap he used in his shower. I didn't actually recognize the cologne, since my knowledge in that area was very minimal, almost none.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but it didn't actually matter. We were both relaxing. I wouldn't say I needed it much, since I had three months to get back in my skin after finals, but I had the feeling that Kevin probably did.

The moving of his hand in my hair was really relaxing, and I must have been slightly sleepy after my shower and the flight, since my eyes started closing. I was almost sure I wouldn't fall asleep for the simple principle that I don't tend to take naps. Apparently the tour was changing many things in me, that being one of them. Before I even realized, I was dead asleep on Kevin's chest.

I could hear some chattering around me, but I was far too comfortable to actually want to let go of my sleep. I moved a little bit, burring my face in something soft, then gripped whatever it was I was holding. I felt movement under me, and I purred in complaint. Suddenly, I heard laughter and I mustn't have been so very deep in my slumber by this point, because something in the back of my mind told me that I should really wake up.

I opened my eyes wide enough to focus on my surroundings. I started rubbing my eyes with my fists, trying to focus, because all I could see was blurry. When I lifted my face, I came a inch away from Kevin's smiling and very pretty face. I jumped slightly in surprise, backing away and almost falling from the couch were I was laying down.

Kevin reacted fast enough to place his arms around me before I fell. I heard laugher again and I decided to turn around. It wasn't nice at all to realize that I had an audience. Right in front of me were Brian and Nick, looking at me. Brian was laughing and Nick was barely holding in his. Kate was sitting on a chair near by, smiling. AJ and Howie were on the other couch, drinking some water and grinning as well. Great.

I moved away, wanting to sit on something that wasn't a part of Kevin's body. Kevin moved his legs, sitting on the couch, and I did the same. I started rubbing my eyes again, wanting to let go of the last remnants of my sleep.

"Sleep good?"

I recognized Nick's voice. Moving my hands from my face, I glared at him. He laughed at me -- joined by the rest of the gang, of course -- then I continued with the very interesting task of rubbing my eyes. I felt Kevin kissing my head and I couldn't help but smile.

Kevin placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me back to his chest. I buried my face in the crook of his neck once again, closing my eyes.

"Oh, no!" I heard just before I was pulled away from Kevin's chest rather harshly.

"Hey!" Kevin complained, placing his arm around my shoulders again. "I like him where he is, you know Rok?"

"Yeah, well, we've got stuff to do cuz, and if he lays down with you again, you'll probably fall asleep again."

I opened my eyes, looked at Brian, and asked. "We actually fell asleep?"

Kate laughed before answering. "Yeah, amazing, I know. You took a nap! Kevin was out along with ya, you know?"

I turned to look at him. "You slept too?"

He shrugged, leaning over and kissing me softly. "What can I say? You make a good blanket?"

I glared at him, yawning slightly. AJ laughed, standing up and walking over to the trash. He threw away the bottle, and seeing the discarded piece of sandwich Kevin had thrown and didn't actually made it all the way, threw it in as well. "You two were dead to the world by the time we came back." He turned around, grinning madly at us. "Quite a sight, if you ask me."

I blushed, again, and buried my face in Kevin's chest.

"And we've got proof!"

Those words made me turn around at once, my eyes wide open as they found Kate's. She was grinning from ear to ear, her camera in her hands, waving it at me.

"For the love of--"

I didn't even get to finish my ranting, because Kate and Nick started laughing like there was no tomorrow. Nick looked at me, then started laughing all over again. That look let me know that Kate had told him about my phobia for pictures. Ok, so maybe not phobia, but I didn't like getting my picture taken at all.

"Why did you wake us up anyway?"

Howie took another drink of his water, smiling slightly at us. "They've finally called us in for practice."

Kevin sighed in relief. "The sound is fixed?"

"Yep, got it all done already," Nick walked over to the couch and picked up his gym bag -- he must have moved it while we were sleeping. "We gotta go."

Kevin nodded and leaned over to kiss me. "Be right back."

"Sure," I said, not really knowing where he was going. I stood up, stretching upwards, my joints popping. I chuckled. "Gosh, I needed that. How long were we out, anyway?"

"A good hour." Brian picked up a bottle of water, opening it as he spoke. "They went to the back to call us out and we thought you two might still be in here talking. We came in and found you sound."

Howie finished his own bottle and thew it in the trash can. "We even had time to change and you didn't even bat an eye. And Kevin only woke up about a minute before you, and that was because Brian started shaking him."

It was then that I realized that the guys were changed. From the jeans and jackets they had been in to sweats and shirts. "What? You guys were here a while and I didn't notice?" That was a new one. I usually wake up when someone is in the room.

Kate smiled at me. "Yep, amazing isn't it? We were talking and everything."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly planning on falling asleep either." I picked up my backpack, getting only my right arm in -- a habit of mine, and half the campus population.

"Comb your hair."

I looked at Kate. "What?"

"Your hair." She came closer and ran her fingers through my hair. "It's all messed up from your nap."

I groaned, then started running my fingers through it, wanting to get it alright. "Done?"

Kate nodded as Kevin returned from changing, in sweats and shirt as well. With that, we made our way out the room. The way over to the stage was rather complicated and I found myself hoping I'd be able to find my way on my own. I mean, after all those years playing Doom, at the very least I should have some sense of direction, don't you think?

When we reached the stage, Nick, instead of Kevin, proceeded to make the necessary introductions. "Guys, this is Kate and Matt, friends of mine from back home. They'll be joining us for the summer." A bunch of 'hellos' were thrown our way and Kate and I greeted back. Looking over the sixteen people there, Nick laughed. "This is going to be rather tough, but what the hell." He looked at us, then shrugged. "Lets see if you guys remember half of it after this. Female dancers: Nicole, Kristin, Amy, Teresa and Nefertiti." As he said their names, each girl started raising their hands, like this was class roll call or something. From the bunch, the only one I was sure I'd remember was Nefertiti. Her name was difficult to forget, and she had dark skin and amazing black eyes.

Nick turned to us chuckling. "Got it? Doesn't matter, coz now you're gonna get more confused. Male dancers: Richard, Richmond, Earl, Reggie and Raymond."

By this time, my head was swamped with names. "Oh crap," I muttered under my breath.

Nick heard it and laughed. "Musicians now: William and Tom on guitars, Guy and Louis on keys, Dennis on drums and Mindi on the sax, keyboards and bass guitar and almost anything else."

Mindi, a very young and very pretty blond girl with amazing blue eyes, smiled at us, blushing slightly. "He's exaggerating." Offering her hand, which both Kate and I shook. "It's great to have new people on tour." She came closer, talking to us conspiratorially. "They get kinda boring after a while."

Kate and I laughed at that as AJ started complaining. "Boring? Boring?" AJ squinted his eyes, half glaring at Mindi. "I'll show you boring."

Before Mindi could say anything, or even move out of AJ's way, he had lifted her over his shoulder and started spinning around.

Some of the girls were gasping, the guys were laughing and Kate and I were looking on wide-eyed as AJ kept going faster and faster while Mindi was yelling "Stop! AJ!" with all her strength. It was quite a sight. Kate, being the very smart girl she is -- and knowing that blackmailing information was always appreciate it -- started taking pictured like there was no tomorrow. Ok, so maybe she only took a couple, but still.

"Alex." Kevin said sternly, the younger man not listening at all. He sighed. "ALEX!"

AJ stopped at once, his eyes meeting Kevin's, then sighed frustratedly. "Ok, ok. I get it. It's time for practice." Slowly, he placed Mindi back on her feet. AJ groaned. "But I did need to prove to her that we aren't boring."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right." He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "Nevermind. We gotta practice. We've lost enough time as it is."

The guys nodded, the musicians going over to their places on the corners of the pentagonal stage, the dancers placing themselves on one side of the same. Kevin walked over to where Kate and I were standing, smiling at us. "This shouldn't take more than an hour, tops."

I nodded, smiling back. "See ya." It was all I felt comfortable enough saying, not really knowing if Kevin wanted the gang to know about us.

He nodded, then walked over to his place. Kate and I walked down the stage, taking two seats on one of the sides. The first chords of a song I really didn't recognize could be heard and the guys started dancing. Kate and I looked at each other, grinning widely. This was going to be fun.

The guys finished with "I Want It That Way," one of the very few songs I could recognize, as the last chords of the same were being played.

Kate and I clapped as they bowed. It had been really interesting, seeing the guys singing but making fun of each other at the same time. They didn't seem to take practice that seriously, or at least that was how it seemed. Kevin did glared at Nick and Brian from time to time whenever they were being too goofy on stage. I was wondering if they were like that when the house was full when the guys started walking down the stage and over to where Kate and I were seated.

Kevin, picking up a towel from the bunch that were left on one corner, smiled as he approached us. "What did you guys think?"

I shrugged naturally. "It was great," I said. And it was all I could actually think about saying. I mean, the sound and the choreography was really something, but I just didn't know what else there was for me to say.

He placed the towel around his neck and took a sip of the water bottle he had retrieved from the cooler. "Usually practice and sound check go smoother than today. I still have no idea what happened to the cables."

"At least now they are working, right?" Kate asked, smiling at him. She had been really impressed by the practice, telling me the whole time just what a great group the five of them were. I had to agree with her, their vocals sounded awesome together.

"Yeah, it would have been hell if something went wrong during tonight's show." Looking at his watch, Kevin cursed. "Shit." He turned around, the guys still taking with the dancers and hanging around on the stage. "Guys! We're running late!"

The guys, all sprawled around the stage, picked up a bottle of water and a towel and walked over to where we were standing.

"We've got a meet-n-greet in ten minutes," Kevin said as he placed his hand on my lower back, motioning for me to walk down a hallway, "and we still have to change."

I nodded, my eyes going over to the guys. He was right. The five of them were really sweaty, so, the very least thing they should do was change their clothes. I would even suggest a shower, but they were running late. Besides, I was sure they knew what they were doing.

Once again, we entered the dressing room and everyone started going their own way. Kate and I sat on the couch as the guys went over to their gym bags.

"Well," Kate started, turning to look at me, "this seems fun." She chuckled as she finished her own sentence.

I grinned. The guys were taking off their clothes and putting on the ones they had been wearing when we first arrived at the venue with no embarrassment at all.

Kate, seeing the guys in only their boxers, turned around, darting her eyes over to my shoulders, not even meeting my own. I could see a scarlet color creeping over her cheeks and I couldn't help my laugher. "Matt!" she complained, lifting her eyes high enough so they met mine.

"What?" I said defensibly, the grin still plastered on my face.

She glared at me. "Don't 'what' me mister. You know perfectly fine what I'm taking about."

I chuckled naturally, biting the corner of my lower lip. "Yeah, well, I think it's cute when you blush. Specially because you've got five guys taking off their clothes in front of you."

Kate shook her head, amazed by my words -- and I was amazed myself. "I thought you'd be just as embarrassed," she whispered annoyingly.

Shrugging, my eyes never moving over to watch the guys because, after all, I was gay and didn't want them to think wrongly of my doing. "Would have, but since I'm not really looking, then why should I?"

"Just the behavior I was expecting of you my young Matthew." Nick appeared in front of us, shirtless I might add and grinning.

My eyes met his out of habit, then darted lower as I looked at his bare chest and blushed bright red. "Oh boy," I muttered to myself, lowering my head, biting my lower lip forcefully as I clasped my eyes shut.

I heard Nick and Kate laughing at my own embarrassment and I had the feeling that my blush had darken considerably.

Suddenly, I felt lips on my own, opening my eyes in surprise. I was very please when they found dark hair and closed green eyes. Oh yeah, this was very nice indeed. I closed my eyes again, kissing Kevin back. After a moment, he pulled apart and it I took me another moment to finally open my eyes.

Kevin was grinning widely, visibly proud of himself. He turned around, looked at Nick, and spoke. "Don't you go over showing off in front of my boyfriend. Mine, get it?" As if to finish his very possessive speech, he sat down by my side and dropped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to his chest.

Nick chuckled, lifting his hands defensively. "I didn't do anything!"

"Oh, so you think showing up here almost naked is nothing?" His eyes narrowed dangerously, but the slight twitching up of the corners of his lips told me that he was just having some fun at the kid's expenses. "Think again Nick. I'm only going to say this one time. Don't try to seduce my boyfriend."

I didn't know if I should blush or gasp at what he had just said, so I did the only thing I did out of instinct... I looked wide-eyed at him.

Nick snorted. "And who says I wasn't here trying to seduce Kate?"

Apparently Kate was brighter than me, because she reacted to Nick's words the second they left his mouth. She shut her mouth instantly, growled at him, then said, "Oh, please! I could do so much better than you."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny Kitty." Nick glared and hoofed off, walking back to where his gym bag was laying on a chair, getting his shirt out and putting it on.

Brain approached us, looking between Nick and us, laughing to himself. "That was a good one Kate. Make sure to repeat it some other day, will ya?"

Kate nodded proudly, her eyes fixed on Nick's form as he turned around and stuck his tongue out at her. She laughed, enjoying the moment. "Gosh, next time he does that I'm gonna get a picture. That's gold in the making, baby."

"Yep," I added my two cents, "total blackmail info, don't you think?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Howie put on his denim jacket, "We should get going, don't ya think Train?"

I felt Kevin nodding behind me and I was about to stand up when Kevin placed his hand on my shoulder, holding me there. He moved under me so he could stand up with me. I looked up at him, tilting my head.

Kevin took my look as a questioning one, with reason, and proceeded to answer before I could ask. "We're going over to the meet-n-greet. You guys can go with us, or you can stay."

Kate and I looked at each other, and I shrugged. I really didn't mind whatever she chose. "We'll stay," she answered for both of us. "You guys go."

"You sure you'll be fine?" Brian's concern was really a nice trait, confirming my suspicious that he was a total gentleman. And I had the feeling it not only ran the in the family, but in the whole gang.

"Yeah, don't worry about us," I smiled at him, hoping to ease his preoccupation. "We've learned to make the most out of hours between classes."

Kevin grinned at me, leaning over and giving me a peck on the lips. I could hear the guys cooing in the back of my mind, but I really didn't give it much thought, I was so focused on the kiss. When he pulled away, I had a very similar matching grin plastered on my face.

"It shouldn't take more than thirty minutes, k?"

I bit my lower lip, more out habit than the usual nervousness that stood behind that trait of mine. "Yep, don't worry."

The guys said their goodbyes, Kevin giving me a last look before walking out of the room. I saw AJ patting Nick's shoulder, saying something along the lines of "Kate got you good, didn't she?" Nick turned around, apparently planning on fighting back, when AJ pushed him though the door. I could still hear Nick's whining and the guys' laugher even after the door had closed.

Kate and I turned to look at each other and burst up laughing. Everything that had happened today seemed too surreal for me, for us, to take any of it seriously. It was a good minute before Kate and I composed ourselves enough to intake a breath without falling into another fit of chuckles.

"Oh god," I said as I wiped away the tears that had made their way through my eyelids, because I had been laughing so hard.

"I think we kinda needed that, don't you?" She looked easily at me, taking off her scrunchy and running her fingers though her hair. She pulled it back into a loose ponytail, then stood up. "Gosh, I'm dying for a coke." Walking over to the food table, she turned just enough so she could look at me. "You don't think they'd mind me getting a coke, do you?"

I shook my head. "I'm sure they wouldn't." After today and, even before the tour started, I knew that the guys were very nice indeed, so I really couldn't imagine any of them going ballistic just because we got a coke by ourselves. "Be a sweetie and get me one too, would you? I'm dying for sure. I'm about to fall asleep on my feet."

I heard her chuckle as she leaned over the cooler. "Anyone would have thought you'd be more awake after your nap, don't you think?" Standing up, she shot me a lopsided grin.

I blushed slightly, proud of myself that the redness of my face wasn't so very visible this time. "Yeah, well... what time is it back home anyway?"

We both took a look at our watches, realizing it said 7.05pm. "Wow," I sighed, "I could have sworn it was so much later."

She shrugged, walking over to the couch, and sitting by my side. Since we had gotten here this morning, we hadn't had a time alone, just the two of us. Even during practice, Kate was far more focused on the guys and the sound than whatever I could have told her. Which was rare in itself, since we had learned how to pay half attention to class and half to the other, those times we could sneak into each other's classes.

"Well," she said, handing me my beloved Coke, "it's only six here, so our disruption on the time continuous could be blamed on the time difference, don't you think?"

I looked at her with could be called my totally stunned face, and she laughed at it -- and me. "Disruption on the time continuos? Darling have you been sneaking to the living room late in the night to watch X-Files' episodes while I wasn't watching?"

She rolled her eyes, opening the coke in her hands. "Oh, please, like after all this time hearing you talk about Government conspiracies and the truth being out there I haven't learned a thing or two. Besides," she continued, "we had one hell of two weeks, so it's not surprising that we'd be exhausted."

"You, my darling, cursing?" I had to accept that I most certainly had been thinking worse things about my teachers and sending them to places I hope I never get to see myself.

Kate only looked at me, then took a sip. "Please, like talking with Nick the past couple of months, and being at college for the past two years at that, wouldn't have its impact at some point."

"Yeah, well, you're picking up some pretty nasty habits girl." I chuckled at my own words when she glared at me. "Still," I said, coming back to the subject at hand, "I'm kinda tired myself."

"The nap didn't help?" she asked warily, batting her eyelashes at me.

I shook my head faking annoyance more than anything else. "It was nice, of course--"

"Of course." Kate agreed with me, with what could be cataloged as an innocent smile on her lips, but it was anything but.

"However," I continued like she hadn't interrupted me, "I still feel sleepy."

"Didn't you take a nap back at the hotel?"

I wavered my head from side to side, taking a sip of my coke, hoping the sugar would be enough to get me through the rest of the day, since I was already feeling like I could fall asleep at any moment. "Not really, ya know? I almost fell asleep on the bed before lunch, but nothing else. I did take a shower, though."

"No wonder. You know you get all sleepy after taking a shower, specially if it's in the middle of the day." Kate placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing it softly. "It'll pass. The coke will help."

I nodded absently. "Sure hope so, the last thing I want is to fall asleep in the middle of the concert. Way to make an impression on the guys, don't you think?" I said, giving her half a smile.

Her eyes fixed with mine, she gasped, but I knew she was pretending. "Bite your tongue! I don't think you could fall asleep during the concert even if you wanted to."

I only shrugged, not really knowing how right she'd be until later that night. "Doesn't matter now, the coke will have to do until I can get a good ten hour sleep tonight."

She snorted, then took another sip. "I so don't think so Matty honey." I totally hated whenever she used that sugar honey tone with me. It was sickening. It made get goosebumps all over and have the feeling that I would lapse into diabetic coma. "Do you have any idea of what time they start tomorrow?"

"No. You?"

"No, if I did I wouldn't be asking you, would I?"

I burst up laughing, having the feeling she had already figured out that the guys would probably be needed at some ungodly hour of the morning.

She glared at me, but continued like I hadn't done anything, "but the fact is that I've got the feeling that it won't be late enough to let us sleep in. Nick has been complaining about waking up early lately, so I have the feeling tomorrow won't be an exception."

Finishing my coke, I shrugged nonchalantly. "Then I'll get out of bed and wake up with breakfast. You know we've done it before, run in sugar until we're so drained we can almost fall asleep standing up."

She chuckled. "Yeah, well, at least our school habits will serve us on tour, don't ya think?"

I nodded, a slight smile on my lips. I stood up, took both my can and Kate's, since she had already finished, and threw them in the wastebasket. On my way back to the couch, I picked up both my and Kate's backpack, handing hers over as I sat down. Crossing my right leg on top of my left, I took out my notebook and decided that I could continue with the latest fanfic I had been reading right before finals, now that I finally had the time. Kate got her walkman out and put the earphones on. Barely a minute later, we were both deep enough in our own worlds not to notice the time passing by.

For those of you that have ever read fanfic, you know you can be swallowed into the world of fiction so very easily that I'm sure you never even realize it. It has happened to me. It always happens to me when it comes down to the X-Files. Ok, so it also happens whenever I'm reading any kind of book, but fanfiction is really worse. It could be hours before I even realize that time has passed. I could easily forget lunch or dinner. I could even forget I've got an exam for the following day.

Kate has been witness to all this for years now. Specially since college started. I've had to accept the fact that I don't have as much time to read now as I used to back when I was in high school, but that doesn't mean I don't take a couple of hours a week to focus on the world of imagination. Kate has come to understand all this. She knows that the phrase I most commonly use when it comes to fanfic is 'I'll be right there', which the 'right there' isn't exactly specifically, or 'Just a minute', and that minute turns into an hour, or, the ever famous, 'One more chapter', that usually means 'a hundred more pages before I can give you a second thought.' She's used to all this.

I might be exaggerating a little bit. She isn't exactly used to this. Not at all, if all the times she's yelled something along the lines of 'Could you come here, right now?' is any indication. But she knows that happens whenever I'm reading a new story about my beloved Mulder and Scully. She knows, so she isn't flabbergasted whenever I go to the study around two pm and only barely come out when she calls me for dinner.

However, the guys hadn't spent so much time with us to know little things like this, so when the five of them entered the dressing room forty minutes later and saw Kate lost in her walkman and I more than focused on my computer, I totally understood their surprise. And, of course, the fact that I was yelling at the computer -- something along the lines of 'For the love of God Mulder you have got to be kidding!?' -- didn't help at all either.

I was really far too much into the story line to even hear the guys opening the door, closing it after them and making their way over to where I sat. What I did feel was Kevin's hand on my shoulder. Which, consequentially, made me jump about a foot high. Kate, in reflex, turned around just in time to see me holding my chest, my heart racing inside. Oh, and, of course, the guys laughing their asses off.

When I had already caught my breath, and made sure that my computer hadn't suffered any secondary effects from sliding down my lap and onto the couch, I was able to look up at Kevin.

"Seems like you guys really found something to amuse yourselves?" He was barely holding the grin that was trying to make its way over to his lips.

I only rolled my eyes, hoping he'd get used to that very peculiar side of my personality. It wasn't really my fault that all my focus could be placed into my reading, totally leaving out everything around myself. "Yeah, well, we managed."

Nick was chuckling behind Kevin, taking a sip of a bottle of water in his hands. I wondered, do these guys spend all their time drinking water, because it sure as hell looked like that to me.

"Oh, that's nothing." Kate looked at Kevin and Nick, then at the rest of the guys, as she took off her earphones and placed her walkman back in her backpack. "You should see him when he's reading a horror book. Now, that's funny. He turns around wild with fear and rage at the same time. I still gotta get myself a picture of that face." Kate was now barely holding her laugher.

I glared at her, placing my laptop back in my backpack. "I'm going to have to get back at ya for that darling. It's not going to be funny." I looked up at her, a mischievous grin plastered in my face. "That I promise."

Kevin leaned over and greeted me appropriately. When the kiss ended, I was smiling drunkenly. "Love you," he drawled in my ear, making me shiver unconsciously.

"Love you too." My smile was genuine and I could almost bet that if I keep smiling like that, my face would break.

Before anything else could be said, hell broke loose in the room. The guys started going around the room, hollering about a shirt or something, picking up stuff I sure as hell didn't recognize, let alone knew the name of, and placing it somewhere.

The closet that, until now, had held its doors shut, opened up and the guys got their clothes out. Each one of them, after making sure they were getting their own, took a seat on one of the couches or armchairs and proceeded to change into their costumes.

Kate and I, again, just sat there looking. I was mostly looking at the clothes, which were, let me tell you, pretty... strange. Kate was looking at everything at once. Not even a minute after this whole thing started, the girl was bright enough to get out her camera and start taking pictures like there was no tomorrow. Every little thing was going to be captured on film; and Kate was going to make sure it happened. We were laughing like a couple of teenagers -- ok, so we are teenagers, but still. The whole thing was pure fun.

I think what I enjoyed the most was the chaos that seemed to consume the guys when it came down to clothes. There were so many screams about different stuff that it was just plain fun.

"That's my bracelet!" I head Brian yell at some point and my laugher continued. He walked over to AJ, yanking the piece of cloth from his hand.

"No, I left it here," AJ shot back, pointing over to the armchair he had claimed as his.

Brian glared at him, picked up AJ's shirt from the seat, a very similar bracelet sitting there. He picked it up and tossed it into AJ's hands. "This is yours, you moron. You always leave it under your clothes."

AJ shook his head. "Damn, sorry."

Brian shrugged it off and continued changing.

Nick seemed to get stuck in the very weird sky blue and blue shirt the guys were wearing. "Fuck!" He complained. "Help!"

I heard Kate taking another set of pictures and I couldn't help but wish I could see that picture already.

Kevin chuckled slightly and went over to him, pushing the shirt down until Nick's head popped through. Patting Nick's hair, Kevin smiled at him. "There you go."

Nick blushed slightly -- and Kate took a picture of that, of course -- running his fingers through his very disheveled hair. "I hate this thing."

"Oh, please," Brian looked at him, putting on his blue vest and zipping it up, "stop complaining. We're three months into the tour already. You should have gotten used to it by now."

Nick pouted. "Yeah, well, I still hate it."

Howie shook his head, tying his dark blue -- almost black -- pants at his waist. "It's not too bad."

"It's tight!"

"It's cool." AJ laughed aloud. "It's not that bad. It looks great with the vests. Hell, it looks even better with the coats."

Kate and I looked at each other, not getting half the things they were talking about. "Get it?" Kate asked me, a rough smile on her lips.

I shook my head, shrugging nonchalantly. "Not a word. But, hey, I'm sure we'll learn at some point, don't ya think?"

She giggled. "Yeah, well, I hope that 'at some point' gets here soon. I hate not getting what they are talking about."

They continued doing their thing, oblivious to what we were talking about. About five minutes later, the guys were dressed. Very dark and loose pants, this clear blue, tight shirt (did it even count as a shirt?), a blue vest that looked a lot like life jackets, blue bracelets with red plastic things that reminded me of bike reflectors, and white and blue sneakers.

"They look great," Kate whispered in my ear, her eyes still on the guys.

I nodded absently, my eyes fixed on Kevin. I had to say, they looked great indeed. Hot even. And I had the feeling that a thousand fans would agree with me.

Brian checked out his watch just before taking it off and putting it in his gym bag along the rest of his clothes. "We're better head over."

Kevin looked at Brian, before checking out his own watch, and nodded. "Lets get going." He walked over to me, kissed me softly, and spoke. "We gotta head over to hair and make up, care to join us?"

I shook my head. It would be rather pointless, the guys would be having their thing done and Kate and I would just be watching. I would feel like a third wheel. "Nah, don't worry. I'm staying."

"Yeah, me too." Kate agreed with me, smiling at the guys.

"Ok, sure," Kevin kissed me one last time before the five of them left.

Kate turned around, looked at me, and sighed. "I'm starting to get tired of them ditching us like that and it's only the first day."

I chuckled. "Now I know how Scully feels whenever Mulder goes off on one of his crusades." I smiled at her. "It's not like they do it on purpose, you know; they did ask if we wanted to join them."

Kate looked at me pointedly. "Yeah, like I'd go over there just to be in their way. No thanks."

"I get the feeling that it's a good thing we're used to hanging out, just the two of us. Even if they are around, they'll probably have things to do without us."

Leaning over in her seat, she focused on the ceiling. "I mean, don't take me wrong, I'm having fun being here--"

"So far," I cut her off. I placed my arm along the back of the couch, resting my cheek against it to look at her. "I don't know. I really get the feeling that we'll be lucky if we see them more than just a couple of hours at a time."

"Oh, don't be like that." She shrugged. "I don't think it'll be that bad."

"I know it won't be that bad. I know we'll have fun -- after all, traveling is fun. But I'm sure they'll be busy, they are working." And when I said that, I couldn't help but feel bad. They were working and Kate and I were getting in their way.

"Still, they gotta have time off at some point, right? A couple of hours here and there. I don't think they could go long working 24/7."

"Yeah, well, I remember Kevin complaining about the lack of time off, so that can give us an idea of just how much they work daily."

Kate tilted her head, looking thoughtfully. Her eyes, narrowed considerably, pierced mine, her lips drawn into a thin line. The way she was looking at me, probing at me, was starting to scare me.

"What?!" I asked rather nervous, half desperate and starting to freak out. I sure as hell didn't like the way she was looking at me.

"Are you saying that because you're afraid he won't have time for you or because you hope he won't have time for you so he can't get to know you better than he already does?" Her voice steady, emotionless.

And I did freak out. I stood up quickly, in one single movement, turned around and faced her and said, just as cold as she had. "Oh Kate, for the love of God." I walked over to the table and got another coke out. I needed the sugar, I needed to drink something. I needed to do something. I didn't want to freak out so much.

She stood as well, coming face to face with me. "I'm saying this coz I know you. I know you don't like that someone wants to get to know you -- to love you. I know what you're thinking. I know how you're feeling." Kate took another step closer. "I know you're about to freak out."

"I'm not." I answered right away. "At least, not for the reason you're thinking."

She breathed in, letting the air out in a long sigh. "You sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah. What I said... the whole thing about Kevin working a lot..." I sighed. "It wasn't because I don't want him to know me, I just don't wanna get in the way. I don't want him to think I'm bothering him."

Kate shook her head, giving me half a smile. "He won't think that. He asked you to join him on tour for a reason. He knew you wouldn't get in the way, otherwise I'm sure he wouldn't have asked you to come."

I laughed ironically at my own reaction to something that hadn't even happened. "Gosh, I'm pathetic." I took a long drink of coke, all the while knowing that if I kept drinking this much I would end up way too hyper from the sugar rush. "I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out over something that's only in mind."

Placing her arm around my shoulder, she squeezed softly, smiling at me. "It's not the first time, and you know that. You do that. You've always done that. You shouldn't worry so much."

I shrugged. "Can't do."

She chuckled. "You could try." Her tone turned serious all of a sudden. "Or you could see an specialist."

I pulled away from the hug, walking over to the couch, planning on sitting down and continuing the story I had been so roughly interrupted from.

"Matt!"

I turned around, my eyes shooting daggers at her. "Don't, ok? Just don't." I sighed. "What is it with you and asking the same thing every other time? We've talked about this. We've talked about this more times than I care to count, but you keep pushing it."

"It's not healthy."

"All we have is suspicions, you know that. We're just talking hypothetically. Just grabbing at answers to questions we have no right to ask. Neither of us knows about this; we might be wrong."

She walked over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders. I was starting to get tired of this whole charade. "Then lets ask someone who knows and, if they tell us we're wrong, then we're wrong. I won't bring it up ever again."

I shook my head. "Kate, really, I think we're just reading too much into nothing. The whole 'better safe than sorry' policy would be far too farfetched in this case. I'm fine."

Kate glared at me. "No you're not."

"Now who's the one freaking out over nothing?" She rolled her eyes and I continued. "I just worry too much. That's me." I sighed, smiling afterwards. "Kate, I swear, it's nothing."

She eyed me carefully. "You were the one freaking out a minute ago. Or that other time about your midterm." I groaned as she reminded me about that stupid exam. I had barely passed and I was about to have an aneurysm over it. "You're the one that gets depressed every once in a while."

"So?" I shrugged. "Kate, it's normal for teenagers to get depressed, you and I know that." And we sure did, having read about that after her first scare -- even though it was my fault. "I get kinda bad from time to time. I get worse from time to time. But after that, I'm always good." I grinned at her, the smile reaching my eyes since everything in my world was fine so far. "See? I'm fine."

Kate sighed shakily, not quite believing me. "I just..."

"Worry," I finished for her. I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "You're amazing darling, do you know that? But I'm fine. Really." And I was. For the moment, at least.

She glared at me, but I knew she was joking. "I hate you when you get like this, did you know that? One of these days..."

I laughed at her threat. "Sure sweetie. Whatever you say."

Kate gasped, indignant at my answer. "You're mocking me?"

I tried to give her my best serious face, falling miserably. "Of course not darling. Why would I?"

Slapping my shoulder, she pouted. "You're very mean to me Matthew."

"Right, right." I dropped my arm around her shoulders and motioned for her to sit down on the couch. "We gotta do something for at least..." I checked my watch. It already was a quarter to eight, so here it was a quarter to seven. "How long should the guys take in make up?" I wondered aloud, not really having any idea.

"I have no idea." She got a hold on my hand, looking at my watch. "A quarter to seven here, right?"

I nodded. "Luke said the concert starts at 7.30pm, so they gotta be here before that, right?"

It was Kate's turn to nod. "Yep. At least another half an hour."

Not knowing what else to do, we both sat on the couch. "So, you going to sleep with Kevin now that you're on tour?"

Once again, I came to realize that coke and talking to Kate shouldn't mix. Oh, and that she does this on purpose.

At her words, I started coughing, my eyes wide glaring at her, my clenched fist hitting my chest, trying to make my respiratory system work again.

Kate was laughing at my predicament, patting my back hard. "Matt? Matt?"

"What?" I croaked out when air was finally able to reach my lungs. "You are trying to kill me, aren't you?"

She smiled from ear to ear, faking innocence -- too bad I could see horns poking up from underneath her hair. "Me? I'm a pure and innocent little girl."

I snorted, loudly. "Innocent my ass. Paul took you God-knows where and changed you. You are not my Kate!" I joked with her, laughing at my own words. Paul was this guy from her faculty that had asked her out about two months ago. They had had a great date and he kissed her when he dropped her at the door. And I, of course, got that memorable experience on film. Don't ask how -- you guys don't wanna know, I'm only saying that very small comp cameras can be placed on the threshold without anyone knowing. They had gone out another four times, but that was it. Kate liked him, sure, but didn't like him, like him. Not the kind of 'like him' Kate thought fitted to be with someone. I knew him personally. He was great guy, intelligent, fun; but Kate didn't want to be with him. They were just friends.

After they had first gone out, I couldn't help but think that Kate and I were changing -- growing up. She already had her first kiss -- and some more -- and now she was asking me about me sleeping with Kevin. Gosh, things had, indeed, changed.

"Oh, please, I'll always be innocent. Don't you see my halo?" She did a good imitation of a sweet smile, batting her eyelashes at me.

I placed my hands on either side of her face, tilting her head forward, brushing her hair from side to side, like looking for something.

"What?" she asked, her voice muffled by her position.

"I wanna see your horns." I was able to say this with somewhat of a serious voice, so I was quite proud of myself.

Kate looked up at me, slapping my shoulder again. "You're being really mean to me Matthew. I'm gonna have to tell."

I chuckled. "Sure sweetie. Fine baby. Whatever you say darling." It was my very own 'Sure. Fine. Whatever.' that Scully said to Mulder back in Syzygy.

"Well, are you?"

"I am so not talking about that."

"Why not?" Kate whined. She does a great a whining face. "I'm your best friend. How come I don't get to know?" she pouted, then suddenly sat, her eyes fixed with mine. "I am your best friend, right?"

"Oh darling, of course you are." I smiled at her. "It's just... I have no idea."

Her eyes wide open, Kate gasped at me. "You don't know? Matt, you've got one hell of a boyfriend and you don't know if you wanna sleep with him. Please! The boy is drop dead gorgeous, if you don't want him, can I have him?" she grinned from ear to ear, waiting for my answer.

I patted her cheek softly. "Darling, he's gay. Even if I didn't want him -- which is not the case -- you just don't have the equipment."

She glared at me. "Nevermind. What do you mean you don't know?"

I shrugged. "I'm not ready."

"You're 18 Matt!"

"I know." I sighed, frustrated at myself more than at her. "It's just that... how long have we been together? Three weeks. Two months, if you don't count our two day break up. I've known him what... four months? How can I sleep with a guy that I've only known four months?

"You love him." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, I do -- which surprised me in itself. I always thought I would say 'I love you' after knowing or dating the person for quite some time, not so quickly."

"It wasn't right away." Kate scooted closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. I placed my arm around her, pulling her to my chest. "It took you some time to accept it." Lifting her eyes to mine, she finished. "It took a lot of you to accept it."

I sighed warily. I had been sighing far too much lately, that was for sure. I shrugged. "Yeah, well, I'm there already, so, was it worth it?"

She snuggled deeper in my embrace, burring her face in the crook of my neck. "Totally. I'm sure Kevin would agree with me." I started running my fingers through her hair when her voice made me looked down at her. "Still, sucks we're eighteen and virgins."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well, I always told you we were special, now didn't I?"

"This wasn't what I had in mind though." After a moment, she asked again. "Are you going to sleep with him?"

"For the love of God girl, do you ever stop being your very inquisitive self?"

I could almost feel her smile on my neck. "Nope. I'm just 'special' like that."

I continued running my fingers through her hair, feeling sleepy once again. I was almost sure I wasn't going to fall asleep, but I was going to rest my eyes for a moment.

Not even a minute later, I heard Kate ask again, "Are you going to sleep with Kevin?"

I only snorted.

I was definitely in need of a good twelve hours sleep, since I was rather close to falling asleep -- again. Kevin's fingers running though my hair was doing that to me.

The guys had arrived about twenty minutes later, done and only waiting for it to be time to go on stage. Kate and I had gasped when we saw the way Nick had his hair pulled up in a very high ponytail, the lower half of his hair cut shortly. He seemed to like it, so we didn't say much about it.

I opened my eyes slowly, looking up and finding an amazing pair of green eyes looking back at me. Kevin leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. He was sitting on the couch, my head on his lap as I laid across the same, my legs swaying from side to side over the armrest.

"Ha! There you go Carter!"

I chuckled as I heard Kate voice, her victory once again. Nick and her had been playing Nintendo for quite some time and, if I remembered correctly, Kate had beat him three to two. Nick didn't like loosing.

"You cheated!"

"Yeah, right. You're just a lousy looser!"

"I am not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

I heard Kevin chuckle at their antics so I lifted my eyes to his. There was this amazing smile on his lips, his nose wrinkled, his eyes dancing. I decided I needed a picture of that face, and Kate was going to help me with it -- like that girl would refuse a challenge.

"Kids," Howie started -- a lot calmer than I would have, let me tell you -- "would you calm down? Nick, you lost, deal with it. Kate, you won, good for ya, but don't torture Nicky so much -- we all have to endure him when he's like this."

"Oh, please," AJ snorted, "like there will be a time when Nick doesn't fight back when he looses. I don't think so D."

"Hey! I'm not that bad."

AJ snorted again. "Yeah, right."

Brian laughed softly. "You are a bad looser Nick, you know that. You're a bad winner and a sore looser. How many times have I lost to you while playing a game?"

"Or me?" The rest of the group asked, voicing their own thoughts. Even Kate joined them.

Nick sighed exasperated. "You make me sound like a horrible player!"

Kate, who was sitting by his side, placed her arm around his shoulder, half hugging him. "You're not that bad Nick," but as she said this, a snort was heard -- my guess: AJ -- and everyone started laughing.

Nick looked hurt before breaking into laugher as well. Kevin held me closer to his chest, allowing me to hear his chuckle echoing in his rib cage. Our cracking up was interrupted with a knock on the door.

AJ, having recovered from his laughing fit, looked at his watch. "We still have ten minutes."

Kevin shrugged, not knowing who that could be; after all, AJ was right and they still had ten minutes. He had been sure that Tim, the assistant tour manager, wouldn't call them for another minute or two.

Standing up, Brian walked over to the door. Before opening, he gave us a serious look. Both Kevin and I understood, so I stood up and just sat by his side. It sucked that I couldn't keep my head on his lap, but it was far too risky.

Brian smiled apologetically at us before turning the knob. "Hey," he said, then opened the door wide enough for the person there to enter.

I stiffened when I saw Michael walking into the room. My eyes searched out Kate's and hers were saying the same thing I was thinking: 'What now?'

"Guys." Michael acknowledge, looking around the room but pointedly at Kevin and me sitting side by side on the couch.

Out of the blue, I felt an arm around my shoulders pulling me to Kevin's side. I was still tense, trying to keep some space between Kevin and me -- if not for Kevin's sake, but at least for my own. I sure didn't want to be in that place at that specific time, but didn't have any other option.

Michael looked hard at us -- or should I say at Kevin's arm around my shoulders -- then walked over to the center of the room. "I need to talk with you."

Howie nodded. "Sure, we still have fifteen minutes. What is it about?"

Looking pointedly at us, Michael said. "In private."

Kevin glared at the man. "Whatever you have to tell us, you might as well say it with Matt and Kate here, since they are going to hear it anyway. I'm gonna tell Matt as soon as you leave and Nick is going to tell Kate as soon as he can."

Kevin's voice was cold and stern. And I didn't like it one bit. Especially when it came down to the fact that he was talking with their manager.

Michael frowned, then glared at me -- I'm totally sure it was me and not Kevin. "Whatever." His tone made you know it wasn't unimportant in to him.

He looked at Kevin and me one last time before clearing his throat. "I've called a meeting with the rest of the account at the Firm."

"What?"

I turned to look at Brian. He had surprised plastered on his face. He looked at Kevin, and I, in reaction, turned to look at him as well. Kevin's face was stoic, serious. Cold. Somehow, I just knew this wasn't good.

"They should be arriving tomorrow morning and the meeting has been scheduled for the afternoon."

"Call it off." Kevin said right away.

"I can't." Michael interjected.

"Well, make it happen. We've got a busy schedule tomorrow as it is, we don't need a meeting with them. We've got the afternoon after tomorrow off, we can see them then."

"This isn't up for negotiation."

Kevin shrugged. "Neither is my statement. We'll see them Saturday afternoon."

I had the feeling Michael was about to answer back, to fight him on it, but he didn't. He only nodded. "I'll call you with the time." He took one last look at Kevin and me, then at the guys, and left.

The minute the door closed after him, Kevin let out a soft sigh. I knew the guys hadn't realized, because I barely heard it.

"Asshole," AJ muttered under his breath. "Down right dickhead."

Howie chuckled slightly. "You took the words from my mouth Alex."

"He didn't seem so bad back when we first met him," Brian said, turning to look at his friends. "What the hell happened to him?"

"He's never been placed in a situation like this before, that's what happened." Kevin sighed, his hold on me tightening. I didn't know if I felt relieved or worried. Suddenly I was faced with how little I knew about him. How, really, he was a stranger when it came down to things about the group.

"Well, that doesn't give him the right to behave like a jerk, now does it?" Nick stood up from the floor, and walked over to the food table.

"We're going on in five minutes Nick, don't drink anything." Kevin said absently, his hand starting to caress my shoulder slowly.

Nick turned around and glared at Kevin. "I wasn't going to."

"Sure you weren't."

Brian sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "You think the rest will freak as well?"

Kevin shrugged. "I don't know, and to tell you the truth I don't care."

"How can you not?"

He shrugged again. "There's not much I can do about it. He's already called the rest of management. Probably even told them about me and Matt. There isn't much left for me to do, is there?"

I was starting to feel guilty once again. It wasn't really like I had any say in this, being totally Kevin's business -- and the guys' at that -- but I couldn't help it. Maybe if I hadn't come on tour, or if both Kevin and I had been more private about it, this wouldn't have happened. I wasn't sure, but I just couldn't help wondering.

"If they do freak..." Howie started, looking at us, "what are you gonna do Kev?"

Kevin turned around, his eyes finding mine. I felt like a deer caught in headlights, since I myself was starting to doubt this was a good idea. Slowly, the corners of his lips turned up in a sweet smile. I don't know what he found in my eyes, but from the looks of it, it was exactly what he was looking for. He leaned over and kissed me once again. When he pulled away, he shrugged nonchalantly. "We'll see then."

Just then, before anyone could ask more about the same thing, a knock sounded loud and clear in the room. "Guys!"

"Come on in!" AJ yelled just as I pulled away from Kevin.

A tall man with red hair, blue eyes and freckles walked into the room, smiling brightly at us. "Hi guys!"

AJ shook the man's hand. "Tim! Good to see you man! We were expecting you any minute now."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, well." He looked around the room, his eyes stopping on Kate and me for a minute.

"Oh, yeah," Kevin said, understanding Tim's look. "Tim, this is Kate and Matt. Friends of ours. They'll be joining us on tour. Guys, this is Tim, assistant tour manager."

He took his dark black file from under his arm and started pushing back pages. "Yeah," he said absently while still looking at the pages, "Skip told me about it." Finally he looked up and smiled. "Nice to meet you Matt, Kate. Skip said you should be coming in today."

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, they'll stay the rest of the summer."

"Oh," Tim checked out his watch before continuing, "five minutes guys. You better get out there."

The guys stood up, Kate and I following suit. Tim nodded at us before leaving. The guys started rearranging their clothes, making sure everything was in its place. Kevin smiled at me, his eyes shinning. This time it was me who moved first. My hands were placed on the back of his neck, bringing his lips to mine as I kissed him deeply. When I pulled apart, his eyes were dreamy like. Somehow, that made me feel really good inside.

Kevin smirked at me before conquering my lips with his. The kiss deepened, and it was a good minute before I heard a throat being cleared.

"Guys," my mind wasn't really processing any rational thought at the moment, but I had the feeling that was AJ, "we really gotta go, you know?"

Kevin pulled away slowly, his lips lingering on mine a moment longer than necessary. "Yeah," he drawled and I shivered unconsciously, "we gotta go." He leaned over, kissed me softly and whispered, "Love you popped," tenderly in my ear.

I was grinning from ear to ear and answered, "Love you too," as I locked eyes with him. However, we still had to leave.

The seven of us walked out of the room and, to my surprise, the hallway was full of people. There were technicians walking from side to side, yelling all the way. There were people taking notes and the back-up dancers were warming up on the side. It was chaos in its more natural form.

Kevin placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. "This is the order, k? We're gonna do the chant, then Carl will led you and Kate," he turned around enough for his eyes to land on her, then back at me, "over to your seats." Searching in his right pocket, he got out two passes. "These are All Access passes. You can get in and out of backstage with these. Don't loose them." His voice was stern and I found myself nodding at him. I felt like I was five years old and told not to let go of my mother's hand. "After the concert, wait in your seats. I'll send Carl over to get you, got it?"

I nodded again. I took the passes from Kevin's hand, handing Kate one, placing the other in my pocket. "Yeah, got it." Kevin's parental side was very deep, I could see that. Still, it wasn't nice being in on the other end, that's for sure.

Apparently my half frustrated face was obvious, as he gave me a lopsided grin. "Sorry, I just don't want either of you having any trouble with it."

Kate chuckled. "It's ok. We'll be fine. You don't need to send Carl, you know? We can always find our way back here. We're good doing labyrinths. We could give it a shot."

Kevin looked at me, then at Kate, then back at me. Usually I would have agreed with Kate without a doubt, but this place was really strangely built and I wasn't so sure if we'd actually be able to find our way back. However, just as in many times before, I trusted Kate's instincts and nodded. "We can manage."

"You sure?"

Brian walked behind Kevin, placing his arm around Kevin's shoulders. "Come on cuz! You're worrying over nothing."

Kevin sighed softly. "Ok. Wait until some fans have left, ok? It'll be safer. We'll be in the dressing room. If you aren't there twenty minutes after the concert, I'm sending Carl."

Brian and I chuckled at Kevin's expression. Kate right out laughed in his face. He was funny -- and adorable -- when he was worried.

"Kev! Brian! It's time!" I heard Nick yelling and we turned around. All of the dancers, musicians and most of the people around the place had gathered in the middle of the hallway that led over to another hallway that led to the stage.

Kevin grabbed my hand, Brian Kate's, and we ran over to where they were. Turning to look at me, Kevin grinned, his nose wrinkling and his eyes dancing, before turning back to look at everyone that was there.

"BACKSTREET, WHAT TIME IT IS?!"

Kevin's voice rang loudly over the chantings and yells coming from outside the place. I had the feeling those were their fans.

"IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO TO WORK Y'ALL!"

All five guys and about half a hundred other people answered back. Kate and I only looked at each other.

"WHAT KIND OF WORK?!"

Amazing, the voice Kevin's got, that's for sure.

"HARD WORK! WOH!"

The guys started goofing around, and Kevin turned to me once again. "Better head out. I don't want you missing the beginning." He turned around and waved his hand over to Carl. The tall man was besides us in a minute. I smiled one last time at Kevin, then the three of us made our way out towards the seats.

As soon as we reached the auditorium, the screaming became almost unbearable.

"This is loud!" Kate yelled over the noise, covering her ears with her hands as to not loose all hearing capability.

I nodded, afraid she wouldn't have heard me anyway.

Carl laughed good naturally. "That's nothing. Wait until the concert starts."

About a minute or so later we reached a group of about five empty seats, Carl stopping besides them. "This is the VIP section. There are only three seats taken in this section. This is were you're sitting."

Kate and I nodded, Carl smiling at us. "Enjoy the concert," he said before leaving.

The three Carl was talking about were girls who sat besides us, and who were screaming at the top of their lungs. The girls behind us were also screaming. It was only then, when I turned around to tell the girls to keep it quiet, that I realize just how many people were there. And it was down right breathtaking.

Rows of seats until I couldn't see anymore. The seats surrounding our seats were also taken. Banners being showed. Girls waving their arms, glow sticks being moved from side to side, teddy bears in hands. There must have been at least twenty thousand people there.

I don't think Kevin's popularity, or the group's for that matter, ever stuck me as such until that very same moment. Kevin wasn't just a guy from down the street. He was a guy wanted by thousands of girls. He was a guy admired by fans and followed closely. He was a guy worshiped as he was seen on tv and heard on CDs. A guy that many of those girls probably knew better that I did. And that thought scared me. It down right petrified me.

It was Kate's hand on my shoulder that made me come back from my musings. "So many people," she breathed out, and I was only able to nod. So many, alright. Far too many. It reminded me of what being a fan was all about. It was exactly how it was with me and X-Files. I loved every single thing about the series. I could accept that this or that episode sucked and just wasn't worth my time, but that didn't mean I hadn't taped it. I knew most of the things both Gillian and David did when they weren't on the set. I knew the latest spoilers for the new season. I had my hands on everything I could find. And I was pretty sure these fans were the same. They probably taped every single presentation the guys had on tv. They probably had the whole collection of albums. They probably had the unreleased songs on their computers downloaded from Napster. They probably had their walls full of their posters. They probably knew what they had said in what interview and when.

They were fans. That's what fans do. That's what fans are all about. They live and breath the people they love. And my boyfriend was one of them.

My breath was caught in my throat and I felt myself falling down even though I was standing.

I was dating a famous singer.

I hadn't actually understood the meaning of that sentence until that moment. Oh boy.

"Matt?"

I turned around and tried my best to smile at her. "Lots of people." I half quoted a line from "Paper Clip". The quote actually went 'Lots of files.' But it still worked.

Kate nodded. "Lots and lots of people." She finished the quote with a smile. That had been Scully's answer to Mulder. It had actually been 'Lots and lots of files,' but we were talking people right now.

Without saying anything else, we took our seats. I had seen the stage earlier that afternoon, but it seemed totally different with the dim lights. It seemed... bigger maybe? Scarier. I don't know. It just seemed a lot different.

Suddenly I remembered I had been planning on asking her what it was that Nick had told her right after we had met Michael. I wanted to ask her a lot sooner, but had totally forgotten.

"Hey, what did Nick tell you before he left to meet with Michael?"

Kate smiled at me, placing her head on my shoulder. I, instinctively, placed my arm around her shoulders. "Well," she was talking in her normal tone and I had to bend my head to hear her without any problem, "he said we shouldn't worry. He told me the four of them are behind Kevin and you. That Michael wouldn't change anything in your relationship with Kevin." I could almost see her grinning. "Nicky is really a good boy."

I nodded. "Yeah, that he is."

It wasn't long before the little illumination faded out and darkness took over. Kate took my hand in hers. I don't think it was out of fear, but more out of habit. She leaned over and whispered, "we're gonna have a great time."

I nodded once again. Kate had been teasing me the last couple of days on how I had been minimizing the guys' work. It wasn't that I had been minimizing them, but I had done my fair share of research and came to the conclusion that they were a boyband. Up until this point, I had always dissed boybands. I hadn't actually paid much attention to them, but they just seemed like five nice looking guys placed together to sell. That was it for me. Of course that had change the moment I met Nick and guys. And the fact that I was in love with one of them. Still, I couldn't help but feel that going from loving The Beatles to liking Backstreet was kinda like jumping a lifetime.

The guys were awesome, I knew that. But when it came down to liking their music, that was something totally different. So being at their concert was something new for me. Not only had I never heard the guys live before, but I had never gone to a concert before.

I think I had been so drawn into my musings that I hadn't actually realized the guys were already visible. Kate shaking my arm again brought me out of my stupor.

"Matt! Matt!" I turned to look at her and she pointed to the ceiling. "LOOK!"

My eyes darted over to where she was pointing and got as big as saucers barely a second later. Up there, in the middle of nothing, boarding through the air where the five of them. They were dressed in the same costumed we had seen them last, but with these kinda skateboards -- without the wheels -- on their feet.

A million flashes started going off at that moment, many of them coming from my side. Kate started screaming and I bit down my own scream. It was amazing. I had no idea the concert would start this way!

I locked my eyes with Kevin's face, hoping he'd turn to look my way. About a second later Kevin turned around, his eyes finding mine, and winked. I knew I was blushing when he smiled softly. I had the feeling he wasn't even able to see my blushing face, but had smiled out of habit. That was nice.

Kevin curled his legs, seeming to have a blast. Nick also turned our way, winking as well. When the guys finally reached the stage, they left the boards and the strings that had held them so high up in the air. Walking over to the front of the stage like they were soldiers; they found the dancers there. Kevin, standing in the center of the V they were forming, saluted one of the male dancers then went back to his place. A couple of notes on the keyboard were heard before fire blasted out of the edges and I jumped back in my seat.

"WOA!" I heard Kate scream, jumping back as well. We turned around and looked at each other, matching grins on both our faces. I had the feeling she had been right. We were going to have a lot of fun tonight.

"Larger Than Life" was amazing -- how the guys sang it and interact with the audience. Kate and I were starting to get really into the concert, and she was taking as many pictures as she could.

Finally Kate and I understood what AJ had meant by 'the coats' when two songs later the five of them appeared on stage with the same clothes -- except the vest -- and a very cool black coat on. To say that Kevin looked amazing in it would be an understatement -- he looked down right breathtaking.

I didn't even realize I had gasped until Kate leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Liking what you see, eh?" I blushed in .2 seconds. I think I beat my own record.

The high note that Nick was able to hit (right before they went over to the dancers waiting for them with chairs) was amazing. His voice was amazing. It totally surprised me and took me for a loop.

The whole choreography with the chairs was amazing and I recognized it from one of their videos. I didn't really remember the name, but the whole routine was familiar. I made a mental note to ask Kevin about it and, if he had the time, to teach me.

Barely half an hour later that you could find both Kate and I standing in front of our seats, yelling with everything we had.

They changed clothes and came out all in black. I shrieked like a girl. It was down right embarrassing and as I saw Kate grinning from ear to ear, I knew I was gonna to pay a very high price for her to keep this between the two of us.

Kevin was on our side, grinning at us. I heard the girl beside us start screaming even louder and I could only smile. They started putting on these kind of ropes and, to my surprise, they started flying through the air, waving at us and throwing teddy bears while trying to catch the ones that the fans were throwing their way.

I didn't recognize the next song -- as I hadn't recognized most of them -- but I was amazed at the clothes and choreography. The guys were in white pants and jackets with hoods that hid they faces as they entered -- or should I say climbed? -- the stage.

It wasn't until two songs later that I could see them kinda flirting with the girls. Kevin had taken his jacket off and was standing on the stage, totally sweaty at this point, in a very tight tank top. I had accepted the fact that I was out of breath for a whole minute after seeing him like this. Nick and Kevin stood right in front of us, Nick doing his best to make Kate blush. It was really... hmm... embarrassing? Nick was doing this pelvic trusts thing that should have been forbidden in at least 49 states. Kate turned this very nice dark shade of red while I only had eyes for Kevin, who spent most of the time winking at me.

After a couple of slow songs, for which they were sitting in the center of the stage, they sang one song that I really recognized. "All I Have To Give" was down right amazing. The pink suits with white shirts fit really great to the songs. The dancing, especially the part with the hats, was even better live. The way Kevin's face was deep in concentration and, at the same time, having the time of his life, was stunning.

The next hour passed like a blur. The songs, and the dancing, were great. AJ's and Nick's pelvic trusts couldn't have left me more astonished if they had tried. The one that, I think, shocked me the most was during "It's Gotta Be You" during his line about going crazy. Oh, and I remember the name because, lets face it, Kate told me the name after seeing my jaw hanging open.

After that song, the guys took the respective bows with the dancers. I thought that was it, the concert is finished, but I was wrong. They came up once again and sang one of the very few songs I know half the lyrics to and their latest hit.

The way they sang "I Want It That Way" was great. I think that what I loved the most was the fact that each one of them were able to sing a small part. When they finished that song, I knew the concert was really over. They said their good nights and thanked the crowd.

The minute the lights started coming back on, indicating to the fans to start leaving, I turned to face Kate.

"Oh my god!" She started talking even before I could mutter a word. "Is it just me or was this just the most amazing concert you've ever seen!?"

I laughed right out loud at that. "Kate, in case you forget, this is the first concert we've ever gone to."

Kate shrugged nonchalantly. "Still." She looked at me funny. "Now you gotta accept that they are amazing singers."

I sighed. "Yeah, that's for sure. I'm never dissing them out again, I promise." I crossed myself over my chest. "They are great."

"Told ya so!" she looked around. "We so gotta go over and see the guys. I'm dying to ask them about the concert!"

I could tell she was totally hyper after the energy that the guys just seemed to ooze out to the crowd. I was the same, only being better at covering it. "Of course!" Ok, so maybe not.

We looked around and tried to find the hallway through which we had reached the arena. After much debate, we decided to just take our chances and take (just like I always do in Doom) the one on the right. We walked half lost through the tons of people for about five minutes. I was starting to fear that we just might need to call Kevin after all -- something I wasn't really looking forward to. Our search ended when a guy from security -- I'd take a wild guess and say that he was from the venue -- stopped us.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I would have been really scared, as in really scared, if it wasn't for the fact that both Kate and I had All Access passes. I took the pass out of my pocket and showed it to him. "We're looking for the way to the dressing room." Kate did the same, smiling roughly at him.

He looked at the passes for a moment before lifting his eyes to us. He moved to the side and pointed at the end of the hallway. "When you reach the back, turn right. It'll be the last door on the left."

I thanked him and Kate and I were on our way once again. I was starting to doubt the validity of the information we had been giving, being almost sure that it just wasn't way over there, until we reached the door. There, in big bold letters, it said 'dressing room.' I only hoped it was the guys'.

Kate shrugged at me, understanding my line of thought. "We're never going to know unless we knock." She shrugged once again before knocking loudly.

"Hold on!" We heard someone call from the inside.

Kate smiled at me. "Brian," she said, very sure of herself. I was almost as sure that it was, indeed, Brian who had answered.

Barely a minute later, AJ was opening the door. Smiling, he let us through. "I see you guys found your way over." Kate and I entered the room as he continued. "Kevin was starting to worry."

There, changing with no concern whatsoever, were the five of them. Kevin, seeing me, walked over and kissed me softly on the lips. He smelled a lot different than before -- not really bad, just different -- and I could attribute that to the sweat. It was, somehow, more raw. It was intoxicating. Ok, so everything about Kevin was intoxicating, but still.

"Missed you," he whispered in my ear after we ended the kiss.

"I'd say I missed you too, but I saw you the entire time you were on that stage." I was grinning from ear to ear and I could tell. "You guys were amazing!"

"I'm glad you liked it," Nick threw away the blue jersey he had been wearing and put on a shirt.

"It was so cool!" Kate was really close to bouncing up and down in the room. "The songs, the dancing. My god, you all have stunning voices!"

The guys continued changing while Kate and I ranted about the concert. "All I Have To Give was so great! It's much better live, that's for sure."

Kevin, throwing away his towel, came over and kissed me. "I was hoping you'd like the concert."

"Liked it? I loved it! Kate and I were so surprised when you guys appeared flying in on those skateboards! Those weren't in practice."

Grinning at me, his nose wrinkling and his eyes dancing, he answered. "No, they weren't. I decided to leave those and the ropes out for today. I wanted to see your surprise when you saw us."

Kevin was about to say something else when we both turned around towards a chuckling Nick. He looked at us innocently -- a face he pulls off very well, let me tell you. "What?"

"Nick," Kevin said slowly.

Right then, Nick started bursting into laugher, with Kate not long behind in joining him. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that those two had done something.

"What did you do Nick?" Brian was looking at him funny as well, but I could see he was fighting a smile.

"Me? I did nothing. How can you even assume I'd do something!" Nick tried his best to look innocent, I can give him that much.

AJ snorted. "Oh please. Like we don't know you. You don't laugh like that unless you've done something."

Nick turned to look at Kate and I knew I'd have better luck interrogating her. "Katherine?"

"I did nothing!" She shook her head forcefully. "Nothing, ok? Nothing. It was all him!" She turned around and pointed at Nick.

The blond gasped. "ME?!"

"Of course. You told me to."

"I did no such thing!"

"Of course you did!"

"Guys!" Kevin looked at them both. "What happened and who did what?"

Kate was the first to go. "I took a picture of your face when you saw the guys on the boards."

"You did what?!" It wasn't actually that I was mad at her, but I just couldn't understand how she knew I'd be that surprise.

"He told me to take the picture!"

"Nick? You told Kate about the airboards?"

I could see Kevin half serious about this and I had the feeling that he wasn't really mad at him. I think it was more of the fact that his surprise had been ruined.

"I didn't! I knew you wanted both Kate and Matt to be surprised, so I didn't ruin it, ok?" I think that Nick had the same idea that I did. "I just told her to watch for Matt's face at the beginning and to take a picture of it, cause I knew it'd be priceless."

Kate nodded. "He's telling the truth. I didn't know a thing about the air... boards, just to photograph." She giggled. "Besides, it's gonna be one hell of a picture, let me tell you."

"Guys?" Howie brought our attention over to him. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I think we should get going. It's late."

Kevin looked at his watch and nodded. "Yeah, totally." They started picking up their gym bags and we walked out of the room. I knew Kevin would forget about the issue by the time we reached the hotel. It wasn't that important, since I had been surprised.

We hopped into the van and took our seats. This time, Kevin and I sat together, Kate sitting with Nick behind us. I could see Kevin was really tired, and I pulled him close to me. So far, it had always been the other way around, with me on his chest, but this seemed just as good.

He laid on me reluctantly. "I'm gonna crush you."

I chuckled. "No way. I'll be fine. Just relax, will ya?"

He nodded and I hugged him to my chest as the guys talked about something. He was half leaning against my side, half on my chest. "Tired?" I whispered onto his ear.

Kevin barely nodded, his head resting in the crook of my neck. "A little bit, yeah. Wound up more than anything."

I started running my fingers through his hair. "Kevin?" I waited long enough for him to mutter something barely resembling 'yeah' to continue. "Are you mad at Nick?" I was hoping he'd say no, since I knew Nick only wanted incriminating proof. Kate had accepted that she had, indeed, told Nick about my not liking having pictures taken, so I was sure that was the very same reason why he had told her to do such thing.

I felt him sighing softly more than heard him. When his breath touched my neck, I shivered unconsciously. If Kevin felt it -- which I'm sure he did by the position he was in -- he didn't acknowledge it.

"Not really," he said after a while. "I just wanted to surprise you. I knew this was yours and Kate's first concert and I wanted it to be the best ever."

I chuckled. "It was, let me tell you. It really was. Besides, Kate only took a picture of me. She didn't know. If she had, she would have ended up telling me. She can't keep a secret from me."

Kevin turned around just so he could meet my eyes. "So you liked it?"

The way his piercing green eyes were dancing made me realize he was really interested in my opinion. The fact that it mattered more to him than that of the thirty thousand girls who I knew had loved the concert, made me smile. My opinion mattered to him and that was just the most amazing feeling.

"Yeah," I whispered softly. "I loved it. I loved seeing you on stage." And it was the truth, I had loved it. I was still a little bit shaken up after my own epiphany of what he really was, but that didn't mean I hadn't enjoyed the concert.

He smiled back at me. "I'm glad," he whispered before burring his face into my neck. We spent the rest of the way back in silence.

I placed my gym bag, which I had actually remembered to get out of my suitcase as soon as I reached the hotel, by my backpack. I walked over to the bed already in my pjs. My pjs actually consisted of a loose pair of flannel pants and a shirt. It was late -- very late -- and I was almost asleep on my feet. It was around midnight, but since I was still on Orlando's time, it was one for me.

After arriving, we had eaten dinner in Howie's room. Hotel food was really neat indeed. Kate and I had made the comment that we could actually get used to this whole thing about ordering in and not having to either cook or wash the dishes. The guys had actually warned us that it might be neat now, but by next month we'd be dying for a home cooked meal. I didn't know for sure. I had only told the guys to ask us again next month.

Since the guys had kinda of an early start tomorrow, they had all gone straight to bed instead of going clubbing like AJ had suggested. I had gotten ready for bed while Kevin took a shower, complaining about feeling all sweaty from the concert.

It wasn't long before Kevin opened the bathroom door and came out, water vapor pushing its way over to the bedroom. He was wearing only the pair of clean boxers he had taken to the bathroom. My breath caught in my throat once again.

It was stunning, the beauty of this man.

His hair was still damp from the shower. Even though he had visibly dried himself, a couple of drops could be seen making their way down his chest. My guess was from his hair. I could see the muscles of his arms and side, his biceps brachii, serratus anterior and external oblique, specifically -- at least college served for something -- tensing as he reached to turn off the lights from the bathroom. The only light now in the room was the night lamp, but it was enough to allow me to see him walking over to the bed.

Kevin smiled tenderly at me, leaning over to capture my lips in his. The kiss wasn't hungry, but more lovingly than anything else. When he pulled away, he had this shinning grin plastered on his face.

"I like this smile more, you know," I said unconsciously.

Tilting his head, he looked at me with curiosity. "More than what?"

I blushed slightly and hoped he couldn't see it through the dim light. "The one you have with your fans. That one looks so... fake."

Kevin sat on the bed, taking my left hand in his. He started caressing the inside of my wrist, his eyes focused on my veins. I was afraid for a moment, afraid of what he could see. But the light was far too dim to see anything clearly and time had help fade the scars. "It is."

"What?"

He looked up, his eyes darkening for a split second before clearing once again. "That smile, the one I put on for the fans, it's usually fake."

Now it was my turn to be confused. "Why?"

He shrugged. "It's easier that way. Most times we aren't in the mood to sign autographs or have our pictures taken, but we have to. We love them, but there are times when we just wanna be ourselves. No questions asked and no people bothering us, so we wear that smile. I think that you just get used to putting it on whenever you've got to deal with fans." He looked down again, his fingers tracing the intrinsic lines of my palm. "The one you see," Kevin lifted his eyes to gaze right at me, "the one you say you like more, is there because of you."

I was speechless.

Kevin smiled nervously. "That's right. You make me so happy, I smile more when I'm around you than the rest of the time. You make me smile."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. The way he had spoken, that soft drawl and low tone had just knocked me off my axis. I had never had anyone who loved me so much, I made him smile. I had never had someone who made me feel half the things he stirred up in me.

And, once again, that scared me. But this time, I was willing to deal with it, because this -- Kevin and me -- was far too good to loose it.

Kevin, seeing my lost of thought, leaned over and kissed me. This time I pulled my hand away from his grasp and wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me close to his chest, encircling me with his strong arms, and I had never felt better before.

When we pulled away, we were both grinning dreamily.

He kissed me once again, his lips lingering in mine.

"I love you," I whispered huskily. It was amazing the effect this man had on me.

"I love you too popped."

This was, at least, the fifth time he had called me that and I was really starting to get use to it.

"Should we go to sleep?"

I nodded. Just on cue, I yawned. Blushing slightly, I turned off the light. I saw the light on the other side of the bed being turned off as well. Even though we were in darkness, the moonlight coming through the windows was enough to see each other.

"You want that side?"

Kevin was standing on the right side of the bed -- at least right if you're sitting on it with your back to the headboard -- looking at me.

"Sure. I usually sleep on this side."

He nodded, pulling away the covers on his side and getting under the soft gray cotton. Even though it was summer, I had placed the comforter by the end of the bed, just in case either one of us felt cold during the night.

I frowned slightly as a piece of information I had read online came back to me. "Kev?" I turned to look at him. "Don't you sleep naked?" As the words left my mouth, I felt my cheeks starting to burn.

Once again, Kevin leaned over to kiss me. "You look beautiful blushing," he drawled as he pulled away. "Where did ya read that anyway?"

"Online?" It sounded more like a question than a statement, but I knew he had understood me.

He chuckled. "I can't believe my own boyfriend had to go surfing online to know about my sleeping habits."

Actually, neither did I, but even though we knew a lot about each other, there were still things left to find out.

Kevin shrugged. "Yeah, I do, but it's ok. I'm fine with boxers."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

I eyed him for a moment before reading between the lines. "You aren't doing this to make me more comfortable, are you?" I had the feeling he was. He knew, after all, that I was still a little doubtful about sharing the bed with him, even if it was only to sleep. It'd be only natural for him to worry about what I'd think about him being naked.

It only took me seeing him biting his lower lip to know I was right.

"Kev--"

"Look, it's ok, alright? So, yeah, that's one of the main reasons I'm in boxers, but it's alright. Really."

"If you prefer sleeping naked, it's gotta be for a reason."

Kevin shrugged again. "I don't mind, ok? I want you to feel at ease with me."

"I do."

"You won't if I'm not wearing anything."

And, to my own sorrow, he was right. I'd be totally tensed if he was naked besides me. I let out a soft sigh. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'm not," Kevin said, smiling. "Come on, it's late. I'm sure you're tired. Lets go to sleep already."

I had to agree with him on that one. I was very tired. I nodded, lying down on the bed on my left side, my back to Kevin.

I was a little bit nervous, that was for sure. I had no idea how we were going to sleep. I had actually been dreading it for a couple of hours, even as tired as I was.

Barely a second later, I felt a shift on the bed and I knew Kevin was accommodating himself. Again, I felt bad about making him wear underwear to bed when he didn't like to, but thankful he had thought about it. If he had planned on wearing nothing to bed, I know that I wouldn't have complained. I don't think I would have been able to sleep at all I would have been so tense, but I wouldn't have complained.

When he dropped his arm around my waist, pulling me to his chest, I tensed up. "I want to feel you close to me," he whispered in my ear. "Just relax, ok? Just relax."

I took a couple of deep breath, trying my best to calm my racing heart. The last thing I needed was having Kevin feel my so very accelerated pulse by my throat and know I was about to have a coronary right in his arms. That wouldn't look good on the first night we shared a bed.

I could feel every part of his body against mine. His essence -- a mix of his soap and shampoo probably -- was overwhelming my senses. He was oozing heat, against my usually cold body. It was intoxicating and just amazing.

Still, this closeness was something new to me. The only other person I had ever slept with -- as in shared at bed with -- was Kate, and I was so very used to her that it didn't bother me at all. Having Kevin this close to me was new and, for that matter, scary.

I let out a shaky breath. All I had to do was relax enough so I could fall asleep. I had the feeling that after the first night, it'd all be easier for me.

"I love you," Kevin drawled into my hear, his southern accent thick. I loved his accent.

I turned around, capturing his lips in mine, then whispered back, "I love you too."

I settled on the pillow, Kevin's arms around my waist and my hands on his. He placed his head between my shoulder blades, placed a soft kiss and settled for the night.

Closing my eyes, I tried to calm down enough so I could fall asleep. I loved him very much and was adamant to make this work. I knew all of the problems within our relationship would end up being my fault, so I knew I just had to deal with it.

Sighing softly, I promised myself I would. I had to. I loved him too much already. So I snuggled closer to his chest and his arms tightened their hold on me.

It was barely a minute later that I forgot about it. I forgot about him being so close to me and just enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me and his smell in my nostrils. I relaxed myself against him and fell asleep.

sighs That's all for now guys.

Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter before the end of the year. chuckles Just kidding.

If you feel you have to tell me anything -- I hope so -- feel free to contact me at jmfluder@hotmail.com and take a minute to check out my web page at www.geocities.com/sdlucly/

Take care and investigate.

M. F. Luder