This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Jack Smith -- uh -- that would be me
Billy -- Jack's closest brother, 3 yrs older.
Will Smith -- My dad
Vivian Smith My mom
Art -- Jack's oldest brother, 9 yrs older.
Ralph Gilmore -- a new friend - deceased
Stacy Whitworth -- a catalyst/friend
George Toliver -- old grade school buddy
George Toliver, Sr, -- (duh!)
Cynthia Toliver -- (Mrs. Duh!)
Jim -- George's cousin
From Chapter 12:
When we passed through Santa Barbara, I asked him to stop. I wanted to call my Uncle Jake. I haven't seen him or my cousins for at least a couple years. I had heard news of my cousin Jake's bout with AIDS, and that he moved to Vermont and all, but I never met his husband. (They were married both here and in Vermont.) They live in a compound or something there, with several friends.
Aunt Lindy begged me to come by. For some reason, I wasn't ready to tell them I too was gay -- I don't know why. So I told her we were too late already, in our way to Monterey. I knew by then that we were stopping in Carmel. I had gotten that much from George -- and that we would be at the Normandy Inn. It still didn't mean anything to me.
I also didn't mention anything about my cousin's sexuality to George. Again, I didn't know why, but I wasn't comfortable with it. Maybe I'll tell him tonight - - or not - -
Chapter 13
When George said we were going to the Normandy Inn, he said it with a kind of pride, and I pictured us overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Carmel. We got there a little after dinner time, and it was already dark, but it was obvious it was not on the ocean. It was in the middle of town. I'm ashamed to say - - I was a little disappointed. But it WAS very nice.
"I believe that you requested the bridal suite sir?" said the attendant, looking curiously from George to me and back to George.
"Yes. I did."
SHIT! I left the ring at home! Damn! How could I have been so stupid. But -- wait! He invited Jim to come too! He couldn't have in mind what I'm thinking! George smiled at me -- or was it a smirk?
"And did you say a third party will be joining you tomorrow night, sir?"
"Yes. Thank you," said George, as he received the key. The attendant told us how to get to our room.
As soon as we got into the room, George attacked me! "NOW I can do what I've been craving all week!" He said, as he almost ripped off my clothes. He didn't bother undressing. When he was finished -- and I was spent -- he said, "I think I am getting addicted to you, Boy!" as he licked his lips before kissing me -- and I tasted my own familiar flavor.
"I hope so." I laughed. I went to undress him and he put up his hand.
"Not yet. After dinner! That was to finish some unfinished business from earlier in the week!"
He then led me outside and we walked to a little hole-in-the-wall seafood restaurant that he knew about. He bought us lobster and coconut shrimp. Then we went back to the Hotel. We both decided that we had the most incredible time that either of us had ever had.
We did all the things that we had done before -- nothing really new -- no anal intercourse - but it seemed all new to me -- and to him. We didn't get much sleep most of the night. But -- we slept until noon! I didn't repeat the prostate tickler on him. I was afraid. But he did it to me. The only drawback was we had to do everything quietly. I wanted so much to let everything explode out of me like we had done at George's house.
But still, it was an incredible night.
When I woke up, I looked straight into George's eyes. He was making love to my eyes! "God, I love you!" he said, a slight smile turning his lips up. His eyes sparkled. I was too groggy to do anything close to sparkling. But I smiled, and closed my eyes again and turned over, snuggling up close into his arms and body. He spoke again.
"I keep remembering Monday night. Incredible. I've never felt like that before. The love in your family was so tangible I could have cut it with a knife."
"I feel very lucky. First I had them -- now you."
"Yeah. Well, maybe not totally. You have to share me."
"What?" I said.
"We have to pick up Jimmy in 3 hours at the bus station." I could hear his smile in his words.
"Oh. OH!! That's right!" I said, suddenly aware that there was someone else in the world besides my Jordy.
I reached back and squeezed the hardness that was pressing firmly against my bare bum. He pulled me even closer and put his cheek against my own. "I -- lo -- I mean - " he started, "I'm glad Jim's coming, but I'm glad we had this time together. I'll always remember it."
"You think?" I said. "Well, I plan to make you forget it! We'll have many other more exciting times together." I turned and kissed him deeply. Both our mouths were foul, but they smelled pretty much of the same sexy, musky odors.
"Let's get some Lunch!" He said, hopping out of the bed. We were of course both naked, and both hard as rocks. I pulled him back down for one last 69-er, which he eagerly participated in. We then went to the shower and took our time there, playing and caressing each other in every way we knew.
I thought he had plans to ask me something -- some big question I wasn't even sure I could answer. He didn't. I was both relieved and disappointed. Like the girl who wants to stay a virgin, but still is disappointed that he didn't even try!
"You guys look very refreshed! You musta gotten a lot of sleep last night!" Probed Jim as soon as he got off the bus. "You musta been waitin' for me, Huh!" Jim was already feeling his freedom, I guess -- and his oats!
We went from the bus station straight to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I never thought I'd get excited about fish! But that aquarium is spectacular. The hugeness of it is impossible to explain.
George took us to another seafood restaurant. "You're not tired of fish, are you, Jackamo?
"Oh no! And I've heard of the restaurants on Cannery Row. I love to eat -- but you know that!" I said and Jim laughed. Dirty mind!
"I'd love to get some of THAT action!" He said, hardly able to contain himself.
I had Lobster bisque and broiled lobster. Jim was an oyster freak. I don't like oysters. Jim doesn't like lobster. "I wish it was the other way around!" I exclaimed. "I could afford oysters! And oysters are supposed to up your sexual energy!"
"Uh -- I don't think you need any help in THAT area!" Said George. Jim just grinned at the whole exchange.
We found a cool little honky-tonk bar with a local band playing. People were dancing -- both straight and gay couples. So -- we did also. I felt sorry for Jim until George pulled him up to dance WITH both of us, and then excused himself and left me there dancing with Jim. It was a slow dance and his thin body melted into my own on the dance floor. I closed my eyes.
"You guys look good dancing there!" Said George. "You make a very cute couple!" I stepped back a little, chagrinned a LOT! "No! Don't do that!" Said George. "You guys seem to have a perfect fit!" He said, as he stepped up and put his arms around both of us. I wondered what was going through George's head.
It was pretty late when we got back to the hotel, Both of the cousins had had quite a bit to drink. We were all underage, but I guess they were lax in that county -- or something. I KNOW we don't look that old! Jim was surprised that there was only one bed in the room. "Well, it IS the bridal suite!" said George. "And -- it IS a king-sized bed! There'll be plenty of room."
We slept naked the night before, but I left my sleep pants on this time. But -- BOTH the cousins came to bed nude.
I took the middle. As soon as lights were out, George snuggled back into me. Jim was about 2 feet from us -- again on top of the covers. "Dude!" George said, "You're gonna get cold out there! Besides it's just not right sleeping nude on top of the covers -- not in a hotel. You can't be sure what the last people did there. They only change the sheets, you know!
"Ew!" Said Jim. Now I want to take another shower!"
"Go for it!" Said George.
"No hanky-panky while I'm in the shower!" joked Jim.
"Fuck you!" said George, laughing.
"That would be MY choice!" Jim jabbed right back.
We did play some while Jim was bathing. When he got back, he climbed under the sheet, but stayed a couple feet away. "Dude!" George said again. "Don't you want to snuggle up with us, at least?"
"George -- I can't control my -- my -- wood!"
"That doesn't bother me -- and I KNOW it doesn't bother ol' Jackamo here! Come on over!"
I wondered about the fact that he didn't even ask me. But I didn't think about it too long, as Jim snuggled up behind me, so that I was being spooned from both front and rear. Then George turned around. He started to kiss me, and I at first resisted, but he prevailed, and I opened my mouth, letting his soft, warm tongue in. The wine he had tasted sweet.
I momentarily forgot about Jim until I felt him pressing ever so much closer to me. Then I noticed that George's arm was around me and down on Jim's butt, pulling him into me. I felt him flex, which sent me into a spasm of my own. I kissed George even deeper. Then I felt Jim's lips on my neck and ears. I felt a huge surge start in my groin and fill my body, as a large amount of jizzum spurted out of me.
"You like this don't you!" Said George.
"Did you guys PLAN this?" I asked.
"No, but it worked out well for you, didn't it?" Said George.
"Worked out not too bad for me too!" crooned Jim, as he caressed George's neck. George lifted himself up on his elbow and pecked his cousin on the lips.
"How is it we never were able to get along like this before, Jimmy?" He said.
"I dunno. It never entered my mind! But -- I like it!"
"It entered my mind!" Said George.
"Wha -- aat?" exclaimed his cousin. "What are you saying, Cuz?"
George lay back down and pulled us closer together again. "Jimmy, it used to drive me crazy seeing you and not being able to touch you!"
"Not being able? Who stopped you? Not me! The reason it never entered my mind was that you always treated me like an idiot."
"I'm sorry about that -- now. I thought you were an idiot -- and I KNOW you saw me as a snob. I guess I WAS a snob."
"I guess I was an idiot at times too!"
"But that's all behind us!" Said George. "Jacky -- would you mind if I kissed my cousin?"
"I believe you just did!" I laughed.
"No -- I mean really kiss him."
"As long as you save the last dance for me!" I pouted. I started to move out of the way.
"Where are you going?" Said George.
"I thought you wanted to `really' kiss him. You can't do that with me between you."
"Oh! Never thought about that."
So the two cousins moved to each other -- I had moved to the other side of Jim for some reason. I wasn't sure that I agreed this was a good idea, but I was hard as a steel rod and liked it -- a lot! The two of them started their kiss gently enough, but then their naked bodies pressed into each other and they were both humping each others body. George reached toward me and beckoned me to join them.
I slid up close behind Jim and started to kiss his neck and lick his ear, as he had done to me. I felt his whole body flex into George, and pretty much knew what had happened. It all seemed so wrong, but it felt so right! Then I heard it. It was just a whisper, and maybe he meant it only for his cousin: "Omigosh! I love you so much!" Time seemed to stand still. Everything came to a grinding halt.
"I know." Came the hoarse answer. "I love you too. -- BOTH of you!" George said breathlessly.
I was at war inside myself. I didn't want to admit it, but -- I was confused! I thought about my recent dreams. Were they warning me? Could I possibly love two guys at once? I relaxed my hold on Jim.
"Oh! Jacky! That wasn't planned -- not at all! I'm sorry!" Said George.
"You know what, George -- Jim -- It's okay. For now -- it's okay. I don't want to get sexual with both of you, but -- it all happened so naturally. It's been building up since we all met. I just don't quite know what to do with it."
"So -- you're not open to -- a threesome?" Said George.
"I -- I -- dunno!" I stammered. "I don't know what I'm okay with right now."
The only one that hadn't said anything -- except for the first "I love you" was Jim.
"How are you taking all of this, Jimmy?" Said George.
"I guess kind of like -- somewhere between the two of you."
I backed off, but started rubbing myself. "Maybe -- Maybe - " I started, "maybe we should just -- for tonight at least -- have ourselves a good wank."
"I HELLA know I need it!" said George.
I started immediately and then George moved up as close as he could and started stroking his. Jim was on the other side of George and he started doing himself. Then George's hand came over to me and he started to barely caress my nuts. It gave me goose bumps all over my body. I saw the Jim was doing the same to George. Both cousin's eyes were closed tight.
I got off so fast watching it all. But Jim quickly followed suit, George grabbed both our poles, pushing our hands out of the way. Neither of us was in any condition to notice he had stopped stroking himself, as we were shooting all over our tummies and chests.
After it was over, I lay there, panting, and George raised up and started to lick my stomach and chest, then he kissed me deeply. Then he did the same for his cousin. It was then it dawned on me that George hadn't climaxed yet.
I grabbed Jim's hand and put it on George's shaft and he started to stroke while I started to kiss George. It wasn't long before he started to cum. Then I did something that was completely spontaneous, and if I'd thought about it -- I wouldn't have done it! I moved my head down and started to take George's spunk in my mouth. Jim's hand came around my head, so as not to lose contact and George pumped every bit he could into me.
When Jim and I were finished with George, I lay my head on George's pelvis and then Jim kissed me! He got a heavy load of George's in the kiss.
As we were going to sleep, George said, "I guess this is one we won't write home to Mom and Dad about!"
"But my brother woulda liked watching it, I bet!" I said.
"Maybe more than watching, Jackamo!" Said George.
"What -- your brother's gay, too?" Said Jim. "Which one?"
"Naw, he's not gay!" I countered. "He caught us the other day and -- he thought it was cool."
"No, Jacky Boy! He thought it was hot!"
"Really?" Said Jim.
"Go to sleep, cousins! I said in an authoritative voice. I wondered why I was so defensive about anyone calling my brother gay.
I woke up twice during the night. Once, Jim was humping me in his sleep, and the other time, George was stroking me. I looked into his eyes. HE wasn't asleep. When I started to breath deep he quietly snuck under the covers and finished it up without hands. As far as I know, Jim was none the wiser.
We took most of Sunday to drive back. We took the 17-Mile Drive through the Carmel beaches and golf courses -- and crazy rich homes. We stopped often and long, just to enjoy the scenery along Highway 1. We sang songs to the radio as we drove. When Britney Spears came on, I asked why so many gay guys like her. I know that straight guys would like a beautiful, slutty female singer, but why gay guys? "She does nothing for me!" Said George.
"Now if it was a beautiful, slutty, MALE singer, I'd feel better about it!" I said.
"You're beautiful, male and -- obviously you can sing!" Said George to me. "And you DEFINITELY proved that you can be slutty last night!"
We all laughed, but I didn't really think it was that funny. I felt a very strong twinge of guilt. I wasn't so sure that was a good idea.
When we arrived at Jim's house, he looked sad to see us drive off without him. When I dropped George off at his house, his dad came out and just stood. It was impossible to read his face, but he wasn't smiling. I couldn't even kiss him good night.
The next two weeks flew by. I was supposed to see both George and Jim on Christmas
Eve. I was very eager to give George the gift I had bought for him. George had done another disappearing act. It's hard for me to tell what happened next, so I asked Jim to tell you:
Jim:
I was over at Jack's -- in his bedroom. No, we didn't do anything since that night in Carmel -- not the two of us -- nor the three of us. We never even spoke of it -- even on the way home from up north.
We were talking about where George might be. It's Christmas Eve and He's supposed to be here too.
"That's the one thing that bugs me about him, Jim," said Jack to me. I started to answer, when his cell phone rang.
"Hello?" Jack answered it. "Oh Hi, George!" Jacks whole face lit up. I could see he was really in love. Where - - Yeah, he's here. Uh huh. Uh huh . uh -- what?" Jack lost all his color and sat -- no almost collapsed on the bed. "Oh. Oh. No -- no! Um - - <AHEM!>"
Jack seemed to barely be holding it together. I was wild with curiosity. Obviously George was talking to Jack, so he wasn't -- but -
"I see. Yeah. No, I'll be okay. Really. No. Yeah, that helps. Okay. Yeah - - I'm sorry too. But what're you gonna -- I dunno -- I just don't know! Well - - obviously I don't know anything any more!" Jack was drained of color, unless gray is a color!
Jack closed his phone and stared at me, and tears sprang to his face. I ran to him and sat next to him. I put my arm around his shoulder. "What happened? Is he okay?" I asked.
Jack looked straight ahead, and for a few moments didn't say anything. He couldn't. His head seemed to be involuntarily shaking. Then -- slowly -- looking straight ahead, he said, "He's alright -- I guess. He's in Palm Springs and -- he just got married -- to a girl." He said it flatly, apparently without emotion. I was of course also stunned. I was so hoping to get Jack as a "cousin-in-law."
"He said his dad threatened to cut him off if he didn't do it. This is the same girl that they fixed him up with a few weeks back. He said he was sorry, but he couldn't stand being cut off. He couldn't figure how he could live without his dad supporting him."
Jack:
"And he tells you by phone!??" Said Jim. "That ass hole!"
"Aw, cut him some slack, cuz!" I said, still teared up. "He feels trapped. I KNOW he wanted to be in person to tell me -- er -- us!"
"Maybe, but -- do you think he didn't know about this when we were up in Carmel?"
"Maybe he did -- at least have some idea. Maybe that's why he was so desperately trying to get us both involved -- with him."
"What? You think he wants US to get together?"
"I didn't think about that, Jimmy. I just wonder if he feels so trapped and maybe -- at least on some subconscious level -- he wanted that `last fling' -- or something -- before the inevitable happened."
"He could have told us." Jim said, still belligerent.
"Yeah, but maybe he was in some amount of disbelief himself and - - telling anyone else would make it more real -- wouldn't it?"
Jim looked at me for a long moment. Then he said, tenderly, "You really love him, don't you? This is a real blow."
"I was -- um -- yeah. I was getting to think in terms of forever. I bought him a ring, even." At that statement, silent tears started to course down my face. I sobbed once. I just stared out my window at nothing.
Jim just held me. Then he said, "I loved -- er -- love him too."
As soon as I was able to talk, I said, "I know. I've been raised to believe that most things happen for a reason. But that doesn't make it feel much better."
Jack - - ?"
"Yeah?" I said.
"<SIGH!> I dunno! I just feel so sorry for him! He must be in so much turmoil!"
"I -- well -- I mean, he was so -- I know it's mean, but -- WEAK!"
"I KNOW! I always looked up to him. I really had no idea he was so tied to Uncle George's money! I feel like I should be doing something -- to rescue him -- but -- only he can save himself in this instance."
"It makes ME feel weak -- that I can't help him." I said.
"Yeah. So - - what're we gonna do?"
"Kill your Uncle George? KIDDING! Buy them a present, I guess!" It came out bitterly. "At least we have each other!" I added.
"Huh?" He reared back and looked into my eyes.
"A lot of guys would be all alone at a time like this. I know you were in love with George too. I felt justified going for him -- because you are his cousin. It just didn't seem right, but the more I think about it -- who cares? I mean other than the family. But really, if a guy falls for his cousin -- and vice-versa -- why not?"
"I don't know. I never gave it a thought." Said Jim. "I only want one thing right now."
"I know!" And I pulled him down onto the bed, where we held each other to relieve our pain.
"Jack?"
"Yeah, Jim?"
"You're a great friend!" He said, and squeezed me harder.
"Me? Well, thanks, I guess, but it seems to me that YOU are the bigger person here."
"Well, anyway, I'm glad I was here for you!" He said. "Maybe I'll need some support someday. I'm so happy we met! I'm so happy that we can share so much with each other!"
"Me too, Jim - - me too!"
Notes: Dr. Laura says that 18 year olds should be out of the house! In this case I agree with her! But some aren't ready to be out of the house at 18. George OBVIOUSLY wasn't! And his parents have forced a marriage on him that he didn't want! (Probably thinking they saved him from a fate worse than death!) Fools! Thanks for all your nice comments. I am always pleased to get letters! Love, Steve