This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY!
Cast of characters:
Jack Smith -- uh -- that would be me
Billy -- Jack's closest brother, 3 yrs older.
Will Smith -- My dad
Vivian Smith My mom
Art -- Jack's oldest brother, 9 yrs older.
Ralph Gilmore -- a new friend - deceased
Stacy Whitworth -- a catalyst/friend
George Toliver -- old grade school buddy
George Toliver, Sr, -- (duh!)
Cynthia Toliver -- (Mrs. Duh!)
Jim -- George's cousin
From Chapter 11:
"Damn!" Billy said when we were done. "I might decide to join you after all!"
"Not your choice, Bro!" I said, out of breath. George lifted me up to his level and kissed me deep, getting a strong taste of his own.
When I looked at Billy, he was rubbing it hard through his pants.
"Uhhm -- maybe you can check out the freezer now?" I said.
"Uh -- yeah. I'll get right on that -- as soon as I hit the other bathroom. I gotta relieve some pressure here."
George and I both laughed as Billy limped out of the bathroom.
I gave George a pair of my loosest boxers. He was quite a bit stockier than I. Well, I couldn't ever even be considered stocky, actually. But I wasn't as skinny as Jim!
By the time we were dressed, Billy was in the kitchen, warming up some left over lasagna that Mom has frozen. Along with generous glasses of milk, we all gratefully ate our fill.
Chapter 12
Mom and Dad DID come home early, just when we were finished eating. Billy smirked at us both, and we grinned.
"Oh! Billy! So you came over to keep your brother company. How nice!"
"I'm afraid I was more like a chaperone!" Billy laughed. I turned red.
"Well, I'm sure the three of you had a good time!" Dad said. "We went Christmas shopping, but there was a power outage and we just didn't want to go anywhere else. Glad we didn't interrupt anything." He laughed.
"It wouldn't have been the first time!" Mom said, looking hard at Billy. I believe he actually blushed! I looked at George, and I'm sure his crimson color mirrored my own. "Will you be staying here tonight?" Mom said to George.
"I -- erm -- hadn't thought about it, but - " George looked at me and I enthusiastically nodded yes! "Yes'm! Looks like I will!" He said.
"Good! And you, Billy -- how soon do you have to leave?"
"No hurry. Carmen has business that will take her out until later than any of you want to stay up. What's up?"
"Oh I just though it may be fun to play some family games -- have a family night of sorts -- like we used to do when you and Art lived at home." Mom said.
I looked at George and he his expression was not readable. But he didn't exactly look excited about it! Mom continued, "We've got lots of sundae makin's in the kitchen, so -- well, it looked like you boys polished off the lasagna, so that's good -- you've already eaten. Did you have enough?"
"Plenty!" Said George. "It was delicious!"
"Then we can set up a card table and -- well -- that is if you boys want to play games." Billy quite obviously stifled his laugh. "Oh! I didn't mean THOSE kinds of games! I mean, we can just watch TV if you'd rather not -- and now MOM turned red."
"I don't know about these other guys. But I would love to have a family night!" Said George. Then it dawned on me -- he probably never had anything like that.
It was only 6:30, so I quickly punched Art's number into my cell phone and asked if he and his family could come over. They could! As soon as I tuned off the phone, I said, "Is there enough sundae makin's for everyone -- or should we go to the store?"
"There's plenty for everyone."
Art has two boys, both too young to play adult games, but they will like the ice cream and just being with Grandma and grandpa. And Robbie loves his uncle Jack! He'll probably sit on my lap until he falls asleep. Little Jacky will be content to stay with his mama.
It was not a late night, but we played several card games and after Art's family left we got into some serious Rook! George seemed to be in heaven the whole time. He loved being with my family. Arts wife was awfully quiet, but she was nice. I don't think she's excited about the idea of her gay brother-in-law being so chummy with her boy, but she doesn't push it.
When Billy went home and we went to bed, George got into bed and started to cry.
"What's wrong, Baby?" I said.
"Wr -- wrong? Nothing's wrong! Everything's right! I -- uh -- I've never felt so -- um -- right in my life. Dang! What have I missed?"
Something didn't "feel right" about what he said. It was as if his emotion didn't quite fit the situation -- or something. We only held each other -- at least until we fell asleep. But when I woke up, George was spooning me as close as humanly possible. I carefully turned around and he was awake.
"That felt so good -- to wake up in your arms!" I said.
"Felt good at this end too!" he said, and yawned. "Man, I love your family! I can't remember when I've been that -- um -- happy, I guess."
"That WAS fun last night. We haven't done that in months."
"My parents would never have thought of doing anything like that with me!" he said almost bitterly, and he pulled me up close to him. His breath was foul, but I couldn't turn him away at a time like this. He kissed my cheek. I moved over to his mouth. He grimaced and turned aside. "You don't want to taste my mouth this morning!"
"How do you know what I want?" I said, and put my lips on his, then probed at his lips with my tongue. He relaxed them and my tongue went in - - and it WAS nasty! I struggled not to shudder and pushed my tongue in further and opened my mouth. So he followed suit, and I got the full effect. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought. I could tell by his reaction that he loved that I did that.
When we were done kissing, he said, "You're one surprise after another!"
"Yeah!" I responded. "Sometimes I even amaze myself!" I said grinning.
"Well, that went beyond friendship, Jackamo! I think I at least owe you this!" at which time he dove under the covers and warmed up my stiffy with his wet mouth. Stiffy didn't mind his breath at all! But -- --
I pulled him back up. "Not now, Dude!" I said. "I have an early class, and - "
KNOCK KNOCK! "Boys! It's pretty late. I know you have an eight o'clock class this morning, Jack. Breakfast is on the table!" Mom said through the door.
"Oh." Said George, clearly disappointed.
"Don't worry, Jordy, we'll have lot's of time to make up for this morning -- and last night."
"I wouldn't trade last night for anything. But, yeah, we'll have to definitely make THIS one up!" He smiled.
I couldn't get the nagging feeling out of my head that there was something else bothering him -- that he wasn't sharing with me.
The week passed pretty much like most. I didn't see much of George, because of our divergent class schedules, and such, but on Thursday night, he made a point of calling me and making sure I was planning to spend most of the weekend with him -- or rather he would spend it with me.
"My parents will be home this weekend, and I don't want to be around them too much. They're getting really -- um -- funny or something -- about you and me."
"Really??!!" I said, clearly astonished. "They -- well, your mom at least -- seemed to be fine with it -- and -- they both have treated me so nice!"
"I know. They would never let you know to your face. It's not their style!" He almost spat out.
George asked me if I would like to take a ride for the weekend -- up the coast to Monterrey. "Do you think you parents would allow you to go?" He asked.
"Allow me?" I said incredulously. "Dude! I'm eighteen! They have house rules -- and as you have seen they are not too bad -- but they don't try to run my life. They know I have to do that myself."
"I wish they could talk to my Dad!"
"They probably would, if you think it would help." I said
"NO WAY! That's all I need! Anyway, he thinks he owns me!"
"Well, as I was telling your cousin last week, they kind of DO own us! But my parents seem to think that I need to be making my own decisions before I move out. So as long as I let them know when I will be home -- or IF I'll be home -- they're okay.
"Good. Lets go for a drive!"
"Um -- and your parents? How will they take to that bit of news?"
"I just won't tell them. I'll call them Saturday morning -- when I know they'll be at their own country club -- and leave a message."
"I'll have to give Jim a heads up. He was hoping to spend some time with us this weekend." I said.
"Let's see of he wants to go!" George said. This really shocked me. I thought he wanted some time alone with me!
"Oh. Well -- okay. Um -- I'm -- um -- confused a little, I guess."
"Why?"
"I was thinking you would want this to be just a date with you and me."
"Oh! That's fine. We can do that!" he said.
"No -- no. I like the idea of bringing Jim. He needs some time away from HIS family, I'm thinking."
"He ALWAYS needs time away from HIS family!" Said George derisively.
"George! First you complain about not having a family and then you dis your cousin because he has one.
"One!? He has several all in one household!"
"He's not complaining." I said.
"He used to! I got tired of hearing him bitch about not having enough and always feeling crowded. That's why I used to try to avoid him."
"I know. But I think he has changed."
"I think his change of heart has everything to do with you, Jack. You seem to have brought something nice to all of us."
"I dunno about that, - "
"I do! Even Stacy mentioned it!"
"So, is Jim gonna come with us?" I said, trying to avoid his compliments and not sound too whiney.
"What would you like?"
I was glad he was not there with me, as I don't think I could have curbed my frustrated look. "Ok. Um -- let's ask him! He's like it. I'D LIKE it! Would YOU like it?" I immediately wished I could have said it differently.
"If that's what you want -- then I'll call him as soon as we say good bye."
I wanted to just say "Good bye, then," but I deferred to a more pleasant tack: "What time do you want to leave?" And I said it cheerfully!
"Do you like an early start?" He asked.
I wondered if he could answer a question without asking one! Was I being pissy? Anyway, I was getting pretty frustrated. I controlled my voice as I answered, "Why don't you call Jim and see what's good for him -- or if he can even go -- and call me back? I'm good with whatever you decide.
We said good bye and I finished up my homework, hoping to hear from George, then finally went to bed. Friday might be a big day!
I found myself down in the dry river bed. I thought I saw someone under the bridge. I walked closer. He beckoned me. I was afraid for some reason. I walked closer and could make out his face. I knew Ralph was dead, but he still was beckoning me to come under the bridge with him. As I drew nearer, like a mirage, he seemed to disappear. I still felt the fear, but something pushed me onward. When I got to the bridge, in the shadows I saw him.
Or should I say "it". It was definitely Ralph. Or at least it was his body that lay on the dirty sand. It was naked and looked like it had been there dead for a week. His eyes were gone -- probably pecked out -- and his mouth was open to an awkward, gawking angle. My stomach wretched and I closed my eyes and threw up and the sand seemed to swallow up everything I threw at it.
I opened my eyes and I was back in my bedroom, looking down at a peacefully sleeping body. I was afraid to look at it. Then he rolled over. It was Jim. He too was naked. I could see his well defined ribs, as he put his hands under his face. He sighed, and his whole body shuddered. There was a slight smile on his lips. I knew it was a dream all along, and I was actually afraid that the alarm would wake me. But it didn't. As I stood there looking at him, I wondered why it was Jim in my bed and not George -- and -- I also wondered why I wasn't bothered by that fact.
I climbed in beside Jim and closed my eyes. "I wondered how long it would take you to come to me!" I opened my eyes and it was George after all. I tried to speak, but nothing would come out. I wanted to explain that I didn't ask for Ralph to come in that way -- nor did I put Jim in my bed. I wondered if he knew any of that anyway. But -- I couldn't talk anyway.
Then he spoke again. Or at least I heard him. His mouth wasn't moving. "It's okay, Jackamo. We all have a past and we can't control everything. Some times we just have to go with the flow."
I wondered what that meant.
"It means that not everything is always as it seems."
I finally got it. He could hear my thoughts -- as I was hearing his.
"That's right."
I was pondering all this, forgetting that he was there listening to my pondering when my alarm DID go off. I hit the snooze button without opening my eyes.
KNOCK KNOCK! "You boys up yet? Breakfast in ten minutes!"
I sprang from bed and looked down at -- JIM! He had come sometime in the night -- and Mom knew it! I sure didn't know!
"Hi!" he said. "You were pretty out of it last night. I didn't want to disturb your parents and was about to knock on your window after George called. Your mom saw me and asked me in. I tried to wake you up, but you were dead asleep."
"Wow!" I marveled. "I've never slept that soundly."
"You were having a pretty wild dream just now!"
"What did I say?"
"Nothing. Some moaning was all. I thought about waking you up, but decided that unless you seemed afraid, I'd let you sleep. At one time I thought you were going to throw up and started to wake you, but you stopped and then seemed to be better. You smiled even!"
"Thanks for not waking me up. It was an interesting dream."
"Was it scary?"
"A little. You were in it!"
"Thanks!"
"No! You weren't scary! I first dreamed about Ralph."
"Ralph?"
"You know the guy who died recently?"
"Oh! You mean committed suicide?"
"Yeah. That was my friend. His head was all screwed up. But he was still a good friend. I tried to help him, but he was too messed up, I guess. I saw his body partly rotted. That's when I threw up in the dream. Glad I didn't throw up on you!"
"Where did I come into the dream?"
I felt my face flush, and I stammered, "Well, I -- uh - "
"It's okay. You don't have to tell me."
"No -- it's not -- I mean -- it was weird. I mean, it WAS a dream. When I dreamt I was barfing, I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw you - - on my bed - - naked."
"Nope! Fully clothed -- see?" He had slept on top of my covers, in his clothes.
"You coulda climbed under the covers!" I said.
"If I did, I woulda been all over you! I can't exactly contain myself while I'm asleep. Think that woulda changed your dream? Haha!"
I wondered if he saw the front of my sleep pants jump when he said that. Maybe that's why he laughed. I headed for the bathroom to relieve my pee woody. When I got back, he had made my bed and was sitting on it. "Are you going with us to Monterrey?" I asked.
"I have to work Saturday Morning. But I'm going to take a bus up later and join you. Thanks for asking me!"
"I didn't ask you. Didn't George -- I mean -- I didn't ask you - - did I?"
"No, George did. But I knew it was your idea."
"Actually it was his idea." I said.
"Really?!!" He said. He looked very pleased and surprised. "Well, anyway, I guess you guys are leaving right after school, huh? That should be fun! And -- it will give you one night to yourselves. THAT should be fun too! Hee hee!
"We are? I mean, he was supposed to call and tell me what you and he decided! Well, I'm glad YOU told me at least."
By this time I was dressed and we headed to the kitchen.
"Did you boys sleep well?" Said Dad.
"I slept so well I didn't know Jim was there until Mom woke me up!" I said. "By the way, Jim and George and I are driving up the coast this weekend -- to Monterrey."
"How fun!" Mom said. "I guess you'll be taking the Caravan, huh. George's car isn't big enough for all of you -- unless -- would you be driving, Jim?"
"No, ma'am."
"I think the Caravan is about due for some brakes, Jack. Just beware of what's going on."
"Thanks, Dad."
I prepared as if we were leaving directly from school. I tried to call George, but his phone was off. When I was finished with my last class, he was waiting at my van with a small suitcase.
"Where's your car?" I asked.
"I caught a ride with Stacy."
"Have you been carrying that around all day?"
"It was no problem."
"Why don't you have your phone on. The only reason I knew what was happening at all was Jim told me this morning."
"On the way to school?"
"Naw, while I was getting dressed. We drove separately."
"He came over early huh?"
"Yeah." I said, preferring not to explain.
Well?? He DID come over early!
"I'm all ready to take off for the weekend." I CONTINUED. "Mom made us some sandwiches in case we get hungry before dinner."
"Perfect! I'm starved!"
"Somehow I doubt that!" I said almost under my breath.
"Why?"
"Somehow, looking at you doesn't conjure up some starved kid on an African savanna."
"You makin' fun o' my weight?"
"Nope! I just was amused when you said you were starving. I'm hungry too. I usually eat breakfast at the student center. When Mom feeds us, I get hungry earlier!"
I felt chagrinned saying anything about his weight. Something was bugging me and I decided that I couldn't let "it" (whatever it was) ruin our weekend.
We hopped in the van, and hopped on the 605 toward the coast. Our sandwiches were history by the time we got to Highway 1 North. He wouldn't tell me where he made reservations. I told him it didn't matter to me. I didn't know the area that well anyway.
When we passed through Santa Barbara, I asked him to stop. I wanted to call my Uncle Jake. I haven't seen him or my cousins for at least a couple years. I had heard news of my cousin Jake's bout with AIDS, and that he moved to Vermont and all, but I never met his husband. (They were married both here and in Vermont.) They live in a compound or something there, with several friends.
Aunt Lindy begged me to come by. For some reason, I wasn't ready to tell them I too was gay -- I don't know why. So I told her we were too late already, in our way to Monterrey. I knew by then that we were stopping in Carmel. I had gotten that much from George -- and that we would be at the Normandy Inn. It still didn't mean anything to me.
I also didn't mention anything about my cousin's sexuality to George. Again, I didn't know why, but I wasn't comfortable with it. Maybe I'll tell him tonight - - or not - -
Notes: Didn't see THAT coming did you? ("What? Didn't see what coming?" you query. Well, my faithful readers know EXACTLY what! And even they SHOULD have seen it!) Comments, queeries (oops! I mean queries!) are always welcome, to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve