IMPORTANT: I wrote this story a while back and now i'm translating it to English. I know a lot about english-speaking cultures so i'm not clueless. I'm sure there are a few mistakes here and there, but i think it turned out pretty good considering.
Josh & Terry.
I apologize for the lack of sex in this first chapter, i just thought it was important to get to know the characters first. So have fun! or not! Your choice!
These two are the main characters and their families (no minors involved in any sex scenes in any way), the ages shown are at the time where everything takes place, if there's a flashback you will know:
Joshua Ryerson - 34 years old Constrution worker, formerly a member of a criminal gang. Married - Wife: Julie Ryerson (33) 3 children: Kevin (10), Anna (6), Daisy (3)
Terrence Mack - 33 years old Member of a criminal gang. Sometimes a mechanic. Single - Ex Girlfriend: Lyla Foster (26) 1 son: Aaron (2)
- OPENING - (Josh)
Sexuality is a complicated thing, almost every person has a different view of it. Some think you are born straight, gay, or bisexual, that it's in your genes. Others think it's a choice you make, while others say your life experiences define it. I believe it's a mix of all that, i think we all are born with some of everything. While we grow up a part of our sexuality remains hidden while the other it's the one we call our... "default". Now, i can't speak for others, and the reason i say that it's because i never thought of myself as gay or bisexual, i was never interested in other men, to me i was completely straight. This story tells how that changed, with a series of events that started happening with me already being an adult, married and with an amazing family. These events that awoke something inside of me that i didn't knew i had, something that changed me, and forced me to make a choice, a very hard one. And, i believe, i wasn't the only one who experienced all that.
- CHAPTER 1 - (Terry)
There i was, cursing everything i could find, there was no way this was happening. How could this storm be here? A fucking blizzard hitting the city while yesterday was so damn sunny, i guess if i ever bothered to look at the news maybe i would have known, but i didn't have the time nor the TV to do that, i had lost everything, how could all that money be gone so fast? and now with this fucking blizzard i'd also lost the chance to do this job. I checked the window of the appartment again, it was like a ghost town outside, 10:00 am and no one was on the street, not a single car moving. If i'd woke up earlier maybe i would't be stuck in this fucking building. I check my phone and i have reception, finally!, time to call Fred and see if i can try to explain, it's not my fault after all, i can't control the damn weather!
"Fred? it's me."
"Terry where are you? do you have it?"
"Huh, about that, i'm still in my apartment, it's snowing like crazy outside! did you see?"
"Yeah, yeah i know, do you have it? i can send someone to get you!"
"Fred, didn't you hear me? i don't have it, i could't even get out of the ap--"
"What?!"
"It's a fucking blizzard! what do you want me to do? I'm not gonna get stuck out there for some--"
"You were supposed do the job yesterday! And you didn't! now--"
"I had to see my kid Fred, you know i--"
"Don't fucking interrupt me you shithead!"
I really didn't like him talking to me like that, but i was used to it. Fred is the leader of our gang, we are four now but we used to be seven.
Simon was killed 6 years ago by the cops when one of our bank robberies went terribly wrong, he could have lived if he didn't take a shot at them, but he had already served 10 years in prison before. Pickett was the youngest of us, and he was only 25 years old when he died of a cocain overdose last year, having a lot of money can only do bad shit to an addict.
And then there's Josh. I've known him since we were kids, of everyone in the gang he's the only one i can actually call a friend, and not just that, he's my best friend, he always was and will always be, at least i hope so. Josh left the gang a few weeks after Simon died, i was so angry at him for leaving, he tried to convince me to do it too but, what was i supposed to do? the gang was all the life i ever knew, he had his wife and his son all i had was a girlfriend who could't decide if she loved me or hated me. So i chose to stay angry at him, for years i didn't talk to him, 3 years, the longest years of my life, 3 years without my best friend, without my pal of all my life. 3 years took me to find out how much i admired him, how much i admired his strength, he had the balls to leave all this bullshit behind, to make a family, to live a real life.
When we saw each other again all we did was laugh, we didn't say a word just stood there looking at each other laughing and eventually we hugged. And so our frienship was back, almost as if nothing had happened. I found out he had a little girl called Anna who was the main reason why he left the gang, his boy Kevin was so big and his wife Julie was even pregnant again. The kids were a little bit scared of me when they met me, i could't blame them, some people say i have a mean looking face, but i grew on them eventually, i can be quite charming when i want to.
That was 3 years ago. And, even though i got my friend back, not much has changed, he still has his beautiful family, and i'm still wasting my life with the gang, except i now have a son, Aaron, he's two years old and i love him more than anything, he lives with his mom Lyla, yes, the same girlfriend i mentioned earlier, but she left me when the boy was born, i guess when she got someone else to love, she finally decided that she hated me, i can't say i blame her.
I also should mention that i was kicked out of the gang a few days ago, for screwing up a job so badly i got one of our guys in jail. A part of me thinks this is a sign, that i should leave this shit and do something else, maybe start fixing cars again.
But here i am, trying to get back in, trying to explain why i fucked up again...
"You're done Terry, it's over, you had your chance, you had many actually."
"Fred wait, i can make it right, i still have some money, i can--"
"It's not about the fucking money! I can't trust you anymore, no one can, no one should! Everything you touch turns to shit! You used to be good but now you just constantly fuck up, you're gonna end up getting us all killed or in prison! Don't call me again, stay away from us, for your own good."
"Who the fuck do you think you are Fred!?" That was enough, i started yelling, i wasn't gonna beg anymore. "I don't need any of you! You really think i can be scared of you? I'm not! Come over! I'll fucking kill you with my own hands you piece of shit! Come on!"
There was a long pause, then Fred said: "I wish you good luck in life"
He just had to prove me he was the better man, the smarter man. Fuck him.
After a few hours the blizzard stopped, almost as if it was purposely trying to fuck this up for me. I actually felt relieved. But there was this question running around on my head: What now?
The city slowly came back to life, i didn't think twice and i went outside. I was walking on the street thinking "what now?", i had a strange feeling, like i was free for the first time, but at the same time i felt like i didn't belong anywhere, like i had nowhere to go. I'd lied to Fred about the money, i didn't really have any left, only enough for a few drinks. It was a bit early but i didn't give a fuck, i went to a bar i knew. I walked in and slowly sat as the bartender aprroached me. I've known this man for years and all we knew about each other was our names.
"What's up Terry? Are you ok?"
"I don't want to talk now Jim, just give me a beer."
"You're the boss."
I didn't wanted to get drunk, i just needed one drink, i just needed to think. What now? After i took the first sip it just seemed obvious, i took my phone and called Lyla's number.
"Terry?" She sounded surprised.
"Hi. I... i need to talk to you." I was trying to think what to say, or more like, how to say it.
"What's going on? You know i don't want you to call me if it's not an emergency..."
"It is... well it's not. But it's important. It has to do with Aaron." Now i was just trying to keep her from hanging up.
"I'm listening"
"I was... i mean, i left the gang... i'm done with them, for good this time."
"Well about time, when did you do this?"
"Hum... this morning, actually."
"Oh, ok... is there something else?"
"Didn't you hear me? I'm done, i want to see you, both of you, i'm ready to start being a real father to Aaron."
"I don't think you are Terry, and frankly i don't think i believe you..."
"Well, i still have to work some things out, sure. But it's a step, i want to see my son, i want to see you, i want us to be a fami--"
"No, stop. You are not doing this. You think because you tell me all that i'm going to forget about everything? that we can be a family? are you insane?"
"Lyla i swear i want to change, i want to be there for both of you."
"That it's not enough. I can't trust your word, not after all that's happened..."
She was right. She had no reason to trust me. I've been a piece of shit to her. I cheated on her many times. I used to get home really late and really drunk (and i'm not nice when i get drunk, like at all) and she had to put up with my bullshit. At first she used to hang out with me, get wasted with me, but she got tired, and i just stayed the same.
One time i got home really drunk and horny and i wanted to be with her... i can barely remember but i know it, i did something horrible that night: i raped her. She never told me i did, she even denied it when i told her, but i know i did, because i felt like shit the next day, i had this memory of her saying "No! No!", i cried like a baby, saying sorry like a hundred times for the whole day, she just kept saying it was ok, that nothing happened. But i knew what i had done.
I never touched her again after that, and that's how i know Aaron was conceived that night. When she found out she was pregnant she decided that she was keeping the baby but leaving me. I of course hated that idea, and that night we had a big fight, she slapped me and i raised my fist to punch her but i stopped, i just stood there looking at my fist. She just went upstairs and locked herself in the room, i just sat there in the kitchen floor crying, until i fell asleep.
When i woke up she was gone. I wanted to kill myself, so i grabbed my gun and put it in my mouth, i should have done it, i would have done everyone a favor. But just then, my phone started ringing, it was Josh, i just kept staring at the screen, at his name, i picked up but it was too late. The call was enough, i put the gun down and just fell asleep on the floor again. I never told Josh what he stopped me from doing with that phone call.
When Aaron was born i just let her go, it was the least i could do. She was good enough to let me see him from time to time.
"You're right Ly. You're right, forget i called you, i just want you and Aaron to be happy."
"Terry, if you really did leave the gang, then i know you can do what's right, but--"
"I know, i'll get my shit together, then i'll contact you."
"Terry... i just want to be sure you know... you and me... we can't be together again, never... i'd like you to be with Aaron but--"
"Yes, i know, i... i don't know what i was thinking i... that whole family thing... forget i said it. I understand."
"I'm glad you do... call me when you're more sure of things."
"Right. Bye."
What now? I finished my beer and went back to the street. I had to see Josh, only he could help me now. I went back to my apartment to get some clothes. When i was about to get in my truck it suddenly hit me: What i'm i doing? I can't do this. Josh has a famiy, a life, i can't just go and fuck that up too. I can't do that, not to him, the worst part was, i know how much of a nice guy Josh is, especially to me, he would definitely let me in his home, give me a place to stay, help me... but that would not help him, it would only make his life harder... how could i fuck up his life to fix mine? am i really that selfish? No. I had to do something else. I went back inside, to try and come up with another solution, but then, in a sick twist of life... my phone rang: it was him.
"Hey man!" I said, trying to sound as natural as possible.
"Terry, are you ok?"
How could he know?! i swear, he must be a telepath or some shit. "Hum... yeah... why do you ask?"
"You don't sound right... what happened?"
"I... there was a storm here this morning and... the streets are closed, so i'm stuck in my appartment, it's annoying." I've always been a terrible liar.
"Is that the best you can do?"
"Fuck Josh, i try, you just know me too well, you know?"
"Yes i do... come on, tell me what happened."
""I... the guys... they kicked me out. Fred gave me another chance but i fucked up again. I'm in my appartment right now, it's fucking empty. I have no money left. I have nothing to do..." There was a long pause. "Josh? are you there?"
"Yeah dude, i'm here"
"So... what now?" I asked, this time knowing the answer.
"Well... now you come home."
- CHAPTER 1 - (Josh)
I wake up from a nightmare. It's not the first time i have this nightmare: i hear a gunshot, and i'm running through a hallway, as fast as i can, carrying something, a bag, it gets heavier, i put it down and open it, inside there's a lot of blood, but not just that. It's a head, a head it's in the bag, my son's head. But there's more. My wife's head is in the bag too. I see a light, i leave the bag and start running towards it, but there's something pulling me back, it's my team, my friends, they are carrying a corpse, it's Simon. He has bullet holes everywhere, "You killed him!" they say. I try to talk but i can't. Then i see the bag and it's empty, the heads are gone. I hear someone calling me, it's my wife and son, they're alright, ant they are calling me from the light. I go to them, but just when i'm about to touch them, i turn around, and i see the bag, it's not empty. There's another head in there. It's my friend, it's Terry, my best friend is in the bag. I try to scream his name and nothing happens. Everything turns red. And i wake up.
"It's just a dream" I say to myself. I'm alone in the bed, Julie is probably already up. It's Sunday, i like to sleep late in the morning on Sundays, it's the only day i can do it. "It's just that stupid dream again" I say, but why? why am i having this nightmare again? It's been years since i last had it. I thought it was gone for good.
"Dad!" It's my son, time to get back to the present, forget about that stupid dream.
"Good morning kid! what's up?" I say to him as he opens the bedroom door.
"Good morning Dad, Mom says there's a man here looking for you"
"Alright i'll be right down"
After some minutes in the bathroom i go downstairs. My wife is at the door, talking to someone, she clearly doesn't want to let them in.
"Hi Honey, who's there?" I say, almost whispering. She says "One moment" to whoever is there and closes the door.
"It's that cop! the one from the diner!" She whispers, kinf of annoyed.
"What? No way!" I said, trying to pretend disbelief.
"If you don't want to tell me what he wants, fine, i can figure that out myself, i'm not stupid you know?" She was starting to raise her voice, then she went back to whispering "I just don't want the kids to see him".
"It's alright, i'll get rid of him"
"Ok, kids! let's go watch some TV, come on" She said, and took the kids to the living room.
I put my coat on and go outside, it's really cold and cloudy, there is definitely a storm coming.
"What are you doing here? this is my house! you can't just come here!"
"Not even a hello? is that how you want to start this relationship?" Said the man, with a smile.
"There's no relationship, i told you, i'm not the man you're looking for"
I'd met this man a days ago, i was at a diner with Julie and the kids when he approached me:
"Mr. Ryerson, my name is Detective Thomas Laskey of the NYPD, i need to talk to you for a few minutes." The man was wearing a dark grey suit, he was young, maybe 25.
"What's this about Detective?" I said, very confused and curious.
"We better talk in private" He made a gesture with his head towards the door. I followed him outside to a spot where no one could see or hear us.
"I know who you are." Said the young man, very abruptly.
"Excuse me?"
"I know exactly who you are Mr. Ryerson, who you were, what you used to do."
"I'm sorry what? I didn't see your badge, can you show it to me?"
"I'm not a real cop"
"Ok this conversation is over"
"I will put your ass in jail Ryerson, you will spend the rest of your life rotting in a cell, i'll make sure of that"
"Ok tough guy" I was getting angry, i consider myself a very calm person, it's pretty hard to piss me off, but this guy seemed to know just what to say. I grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, i'm a big guy and he's not, so it was pretty easy. "If you think you can intimidate me you--" He started laughing.
"See! i knew it! i knew it was you!" Now i was really confused.
"Who are you?!" i said shaking him.
"You don't know me, you really don't. But i know you, i know the man you used to be. And i'm going to make you pay for your crimes"
"You're wrong, i'm not the man you're looking for, now leave me and my family alone." I was 99% sure that wasn't going to work.
"This wasn't a very good start to our relationship, i'll see you again and we'll do this the right way. Don't worry i'll find you, and i'm hoping next time you'll be more willing to talk!" he said as i was walking back to the diner. My family was waiting for me.
"What was all that?" Said Julie with a concerned look on her face.
"Nothing, baby. It was nothing."
So here i am, this man is in my house, i'm not happy about it, but i know the only way i can get rid of him is if i play along.
"You said you wanted to talk, ok, let's talk, follow me"
And i went back inside the house, i told my wife i was going to talk with the "detective" in my office. Of course, i knew exactly what this man was talking about. But i had worked very hard to leave my past behind an concentrate on the future, on my family, on my life. I wasn't going to let him win that easy.
When i was 22 years old me and my best friend Terrence Mack joined a gang of bank robbers. Terry has been my friend since we were kids, i can't imagine my life without him, he's a year younger than me but he always looked older. Terry always knows how to have fun, he's the most reckless human being i've ever met. That can be good and bad.
My mother died of cancer when i was 4, so i was raised by my father. He was a very troubled man, and also very strict. He didn't like to let me go outside so i used to run away from my house a lot. I met Terry when i was 7, i was walking to my house and a big dog started to chase me, the dog bit me on the leg, and i heard a boy yelling and running towards me, he was Terry and the dog was his. He took me to his house and his mom helped me with the wound, it wasn't too bad, but it still hurt. After that we were together almost every day. Terry never wanted to go home, his father was a violent man. He would beat both his mom and him. Fortunately he was sent to prison when Terry was 14, and we never heard from him again. During our teen years we used to be on the street all the time.
When i was 22 we met a guy called Fred Jones, he was 25 at the time and he introduced us to the world of bank robbery. We made a team of 6: Me, Terry, Fred, his brother Mike, Dan the driver, and a man called Simon, he was the oldest of us, he'd just got out of prison a year before.
A year after that i met Julie, by then we were not only robbing banks, but a lot of other stuff too. We had a lot of money, then we would spend all of it, then we were rich again, then it was gone again. Those were our lives. Then everything changed to me, Julie was pregnant. I was very happy, but also worried, so was she. I married her. When Kevin was born things really started to get complicated, i could't find the time to be with my family and do all the jobs, so eventually i started doing less and less jobs. They brought someone new to the gang, a kid named Pickett, i didn't get to know him very well i just knew he had some problems with drugs.
When Kevin was 4 Julie told me she was pregnant again. I decided i had to go. I was going to leave this life and move with my family somewhere else before it was too late. But i needed money, a lot. So i planned one last heist. It was hard to convince Fred but i did it. Terry was very exited about it. I felt terrible for not telling him about my plans to leave, but i knew how he was, he was going to get angry and the others would find out, and i don't know what they would have done, i couldn't take that risk.
It went wrong. It all went terribly wrong. Simon was dead and we coulnd't even get all the money. I felt awful, i knew Simon was dead because of me, because my plan's main goal was to set me free. The guys didn't blame me, they said Simon chose death over prison, but it was me who put him in that position, i forced him to make that choice. I had to go. I took Julie and Kevin and put them in a car, with my share of the heist money and something else i saved through the years, it wasn't too much, "It could have been so much more" i thought. I drove to Terry's place, i had to tell him, i couldn't just leave him like that. He hated me, he was angry at me, i tried to explain, i tried to get him to come with me but nothing worked. That was one of the saddest days of my life. Having to leave the person i had shared most of my life with, angry at me like that. It was devastating. I had tears in my eyes when i went back to the car.
I can't even begin to express how happy i was when i saw him, 3 years later, standing in my front door. All we did was laugh, literally, for like 30 seconds, then i just went and hugged him, as hard as i could, i didn't even care how it looked like, two big guys hugging like that, i was just happy to see my buddy.
I spent all the money i had in our house, all of it. We have a beautiful house. I've been a construction worker since then, we are not rich, but we live comfortably, i still have contact with Terry i even see him sometimes, i know he has a 2 year old son, i've even met him, he's very beautiful. I only wish i could help my friend, i wish i could get him out of that life, but every time i bring that up he just changes the subject. I don't want to lose him again, so i try not to bother him too much with that.
I'll call Terry today, to see what he's doing. As soon as i get this guy out of my house...
"So, mister "Laskey" or whatever your name is, why don't you tell me who you really are, and what do you want"
"Laskey will do, and i am some sort of... messenger"
"Then i suppose you have a message for me, right?"
"Of course, do you know someone called Fred Jones?"
"Not really, should i?" I answered, trying very hard not to show my surprise.
"How about Michael Jones?"
"Look pal, why don't you skip to the part where you say what you want to say?"
"Alright, we have your friend Terrence, he gave you all up, even you, it was hard getting him to talk, he's tough but we finally broke him"
I punched him in the face as hard as i could. He landed on a glass table, breaking it to peaces. "What are you talking about?! Where is he?!" i yelled, my wife was knocking on the door asking me what was happening, i could hear the girls crying.
"Call your friend." He said, trying to stand up. "Call his number and you will be told what to do." He checked his wrist watch. "But if i'm not seen getting out of the house in the next minute, your buddy is dead. Call him and you'll see, but you have to let me go first."
I didn't know what to do, i could hear my kids crying and my wife calling my name. I opened the door, "Everything is alright go upstairs baby, take the kids." i told my wife, she did as i told her and i kicked the man out of my house, "If anything happens to him i swear i'll kill you!" i yelled at him.
When he was gone i went to get my phone and called Terry's number.
"Hey man!" He said, in a weird tone.
"Terry, are you ok?"
"Hum... yeah... why do you ask?"
I could tell something was wrong... "You don't sound right... what happened?"
"I... there was a storm here this morning and... the street are closed, so i'm stuck in my appartment, it's annoying."
I knew he was lying, but it didn't sound like he was in danger, or maybe he was trying to tell me something, so i played along "Is that the best you can do?" i joked.
"Fuck Josh, i try, you just know me too well, you know?"
"Yes i do... come on, tell me what happened."
"I... the guys... they kicked me out. Fred gave me another chance but i fucked up again. I'm in my appartment right now, it's fucking empty. I have no money left. I have nothing to do..."
That didn't make any sense, was Laskey lying? what was all that? who is doing this? Why? All this questions were running through my head, but i was very glad that Terry was ok.
"Josh? are you there?"
"Yeah dude, i'm here" Terry was done with the gang, maybe now i could finally help him. And maybe he could help me understand who that Laskey guy really was. I have to bring Terry home, he needs me, and i need him. I haven't seen him in a while and i miss him so much.
"So... what now?" he asked, as if he was reading my mind.
"Well... now you come home."
TO BE CONTINUED.